


The Fell Star, Fallen

by MeterMaid



Series: The Fell Star, Fallen Series [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Awkward Turtles Make Weird Babies, Basically they both have lots of mood swings, Cannon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, I Have a Beta. Glenn is safe, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Negative Thoughts, Non-Consensual Groping, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Self-Hatred, Slightly Feral Byleth, Slightly Less Feral Dimiti, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, Therapy, Torture, Unplanned Pregnancy, Whipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:48:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 236,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeterMaid/pseuds/MeterMaid
Summary: Byleth falls, and falls, then falls and wakes up to find her world has changed.A canon-divergent retelling of the events leading to the Battle of Garreg Mach and the days before the invasion through the War Phase. Byleth and Dimitri act on their feelings the night before the battle and spend the War Phase dealing with the ramifications of that decision. Mostly Azure Moon with sprinkles of all other routes. Spoilers abound. I'll be updating tags as we go. Updating weekly. This is my first Fic ever, so please be gentle.
Relationships: Annette/Ashe - Relationship, Background Ships: Felix/Annette in 1st half, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Bernadetta von Varley, Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Linhardt/Lysithea, Manuela/Seteth, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Raphael Kirsten/Leonie Pinelli, caspar/hilda
Series: The Fell Star, Fallen Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066061
Comments: 602
Kudos: 454





	1. Prologue: An Old Friend Returns

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to wait to post until I had more chapters written, but as a birthday present to my beautiful Beta Fictionismyfriend87, here we go!

_“You…How long do you intend to sleep? Your body is awake. Your eyes must open now, and you must find the strength to stand upon those legs of yours.”_

Byleth opened her eyes and found herself in a very familiar room that she never thought she would see again; except this time, it was she who was sitting on the throne.

_“Like so much pain, a pool of blood has fallen to the ground…As spears and arrows pierce the earth, it weeps. And even now…it weeps.”_

Byleth heard someone speaking but could not tell where the voice was coming from. There was no one else in the room with her.

_“In order to survive, they kill. And so the people of the world are lost in an abyss of suffering. They weep as well. The only one who truly knows the nature of such things is I…Or rather, you.”_

Byleth still could not see who the voice was coming from, but she dared to hope. “Sothis? Is that you?”

_“Of course, it is me! Have you forgotten who I am already? How dare you! Meanwhile, I have been trying to heal you enough so you would wake up.”_

_“_ Heal me?” Byleth thought back to what she could remember. Fighting the battle at Garreg Mach. Chasing after Rhea. Getting hit by that spell and being pushed back. Falling. She remembered falling. “I fell. Off a cliff.”

_“You did. Into a very deep ravine, might I add.”_

“Am I dead?” she asked softly.

_“No! Did you not just hear me say I have been trying to heal you? Why would I heal you if you were dead? No, my child. You are very much alive.”_

“I survived…falling off a cliff…into a deep ravine?”

_“Oh my, you are still so dense. Yes. Thanks to me, you have survived. Believe me when I tell you it was hard work healing you from all your injuries. There were many. You would have been killed instantly had I not intervened. There are a few minor injuries that have not been healed yet, but I was focusing on the major ones. On saving you. And on saving the little ones.”_

“The little ones? The little ones! My students! The battle!” Byleth was suddenly panicked “Sothis, is the battle still going, is everyone alive? Were you able to help keep them safe, with me being injured? Where are we? I have to get back there and help!” Byleth stood up.

 _“So many questions at once!”_ Sothis materialized in front of Byleth _. “Sit, please.”_ Byleth sat. _“I am sorry to tell you that I do not know the outcome of the battle you were fighting, but I am quite sure it is over by now. We have been here for some time.”_ She floated so that it appeared she was sitting next to her. _“Byleth, your students, your friends, they are not the little ones I am speaking of saving. I am speaking of your little ones. The little ones you carry inside you.”_


	2. A Young Man Comes of Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Dimitri's birthday. Byleth and Jeralt have some quality time, the girls are planning shenanigans, the library is out of control, and Dimitri and Byleth celebrate his birthday.
> 
> Song for this chapter: Fallin' For You by Colbie Callait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I wanted all my academy phase scenes to be in one chapter, but I was having too much fun writing them, so now the academy phase is much longer than planned. Opps. Not sorry.

**20th of the Ethereal Moon**

**Imperial Year 1179**

There were a lot of things that Byleth didn't miss about her old mercenary lifestyle. She didn't miss waking up before dawn, eating terrible meals, or sleeping in uncomfortable beds. She didn't miss hearing her father snore every night of her life as they shared rooms, and sometimes as they shared the same terrible bed, but she did miss having breakfast with him every day. Since they arrived at the monastery, she tried to meet him for breakfast any day he was not away on a mission. She enjoyed her mornings with her father, even if he spent said breakfasts teasing her relentlessly, as he was that bright Saturday morning.

"So kid, are you planning on doing anything interesting today? Having tea with someone special later, maybe?"

“No.” She stared at him, looking at him over the rim of her glasses, wearing her best Ashen Demon expression. Something about mornings made Byleth regress back into her old habits of being inexpressive and quiet or being too blunt or too sarcastic when she did speak. Something about her father’s teasing brought it out too. Frankly, between being raised by Jeralt and being inhabited by Sothis, it was miracle Byleth ever said anything that wasn't sarcastic.

"Because I could have sworn, I saw on the calendar that today is someone's birthday. And I know you like to have tea with people on their birthdays." He continued.

“Sometimes.” She wasn't going to let him win. She was made of steel. He couldn't break her. In the past few months Byleth had opened up more. She had learned how to talk to people without coming off as mean most of the time, and she even lowered the amount of time it took her to process her thoughts and answer people when they asked her questions. She was proud to say that she had many friends she could talk to conversationally now. Friends who could read her tiniest expressions and who understood her sense of humor, which Jeralt called “drier than The Red Canyon”. Sothis giggled in her head. " _He's on to you."_ It was wonderful, being ganged up on so early in the morning.

Jeralt snapped his fingers, as if he just remembered something. "That's right, Dimitri! Today is Prince Dimitri's birthday."

“Is it?” Byleth willed the color to stay out of her cheeks and took another bite of her eggs. When she was younger, she had only one friend other than her father – Leonie. When they met years ago, in the months Byleth and Jeralt stayed in her village, Leonie talked incessantly and Byleth listened. No matter what they were doing; fishing, sparring, hunting, Leonie would talk and Byleth would listen. It was the perfect friendship. Once the company moved on from Sauin, Byleth and Leonie wrote letters. It was easy for Byleth to write letters, it was talking out loud that baffled her for most of her life. Some twist of fate that she would end up in a job where she had to stand up in front of a class full of people barely younger than she was and talk for hours upon hours. Then she had to talk to those same students outside of class too. Byleth was sure she had talked more in the last few months than she had in the entire rest of her life combined.

"Have you asked him to meet you for tea later, yet?" Jeralt pressed.

Byleth sighed. She cracked, blushed, then quickly regained her composure. "I have not."

Jeralt, of course, noticed the crack and started to dig in. "Why not? He's your house leader. Surely you're going to do more than give him flowers?" He laughed, then quickly frowned. "Although I'm sure the little shit would just love to get his hands on your flowers." Jeralt crossed his arms and looked at his daughter seriously. "He hasn't already gotten his hands on your flowers, has he? Byleth?"

"Dad. No."

"Hmmm. Because I don't care if that lovesick puppy is the Prince of Fucking Faerghus, I'll break his face. I’ll break his stupid, handsome face that you just love so much!" 

"Dad, please." She looked around to make sure nobody had heard him. He did it. He broke her. She leaned forward and whispered harshly, "First of all, Jeralt, nobody has touched my flowers, least of all Dimitri, not that it's any of your business, because I am an adult and if I want to give someone 'my flowers', that is my business. Second, Dimitri is not a lovesick puppy, and if he is, it isn't over me."

"Oh please, I've seen that look on his face when he looks at you. I know that face! Hell, I used to make that face at your mother." 

"I'm not finished. Third, as stupidly handsome as his face may be, and I'm not saying it is…"

"That’s not up for debate, Kid. He's undeniably handsome... little shit." Jeralt pulled his flask out of his pocket and took a drink.

"Be that as it may, I am not in love with his face, or any of his other parts! And, trust me, if someone’s face needed breaking, I could break it myself!" She very quickly moved from righteous anger to embarrassment. She huffed, leaned back in her chair, and crossed her arms. "Also, please never, ever, talk about flowers that way again. It's a terrible euphemism. And gross. Also, also you shouldn’t be drinking this early in the morning."

Jeralt exploded with a booming laugh. “Kid, I’m just teasing you.” He sighed. “Ah, when you get all huffy and excitable like that, you remind me so much of your mom.”

Byleth rested her chin on her hand. “Was she huffy and excitable?”

“Only around me.” He laughed.

“I can relate. You’re impossible to be around.” She deadpanned.

“So, are you going to ask him to tea then?” Jeralt asked, cutting his laughter short and sitting up in his chair.

Byleth shrugged. “Maybe. Probably. Why do you care so much about my tea schedule?”

“I don’t. But, if you are going to ask him, you’re about to get your chance.” Jeralt waved and called out to someone behind Byleth. “Dimitri! Come over here for a minute, son!”

“Son?”

“I’m practicing, just in case.” he grinned as Dimitri walked over from across the garden toward their table.

“Dad, why are you so intent on being as embarrassing as possible?” She was annoyed, but she still sat up and smiled as Dimitri walked up to their table, giving Jeralt a bow.

“Good morning, Sir Jeralt.” He looked from Jeralt to Byleth and his face visibly changed. His face and posture softening, as his gaze became more intense. “And to you…Professor.” She nodded to him in greeting. “Is there something you needed from me, Sir?” he turned back to Jeralt.

“Well, I heard it was your birthday today and just wanted to say Happy Birthday.”

“Oh, thank you, Sir.” Dimitri blinked in surprise.

“It isn’t every day a young man comes of age.” Jeralt continued. Dimitri blushed. “Byleth was just telling me she was planning to ask you to have tea with her later, but are you doing anything else to celebrate?” Byleth narrowed her eyes at her father and shook her head at him but brightened when Dimitri turned back to her.

“Tea?” he asked, with a shy smile on his face, completely ignoring the fact that Jeralt had asked him a question.

Byleth couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Well, yes. After dinner, if you are free?”

Dimitri’s smile grew so wide, his dimples showed. “Yes, of course. I…I would love to.” The two were so obviously enraptured with each other that Jeralt felt invisible. “I will see you after dinner, Professor, unless... you maybe want to join me for dinner as well?”

Byleth nodded. “I’d like that.” Her blush deepened on her cheeks.

“Great.” They stood staring at each other until Jeralt cleared his throat. “Oh and, thank you for the birthday wishes, Sir Jeralt. I should…probably be going, I’ll leave the two of you to your breakfast.”

Dimitri was still clearly blushing to his ears as he gave another short bow and walked away. Jeralt looked to see Byleth still rosy-cheeked and smiling in a way he had never seen on her face. But he had seen the same look on Sitri's face. And whenever Sitri made that face, it was directed at him. Clearly, Byleth had it bad.

“You're right, no chemistry between you two, whatsoever. I must have been crazy to think so.” He rolled his eyes and laughed at his daughter. “You know all those years I stayed away from this place thinking I was doing what was best for you, and it seems like coming here is what finally woke you up. Being around kids your age and having friends, I mean. I still don't trust Rhea, but I spent years watching you express no emotions at all, and just this morning I’ve seen you go from cranky, to shy, to angry, to embarrassed, to happy, and maybe even in love? That alone gives me a little peace about coming back here." He raised his flask to Byleth. "And if you are in love, I’m happy for you Kid. I would've maybe preferred someone more rugged and not so pretty, but, eh. He's not bad.”

"I thought you wanted to break his face?"

"Oh, I do."

Byleth laughed, but her face quickly fell. “The thing is Dad, even if we do have feelings for each other...”

“Which you both very, very obviously do.”

“I’m his Professor, he’s my student.” 

“That won’t always be the case. He graduates in what, three months? Four?”

“Three and a half. But it doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. 

“Why the hell not? Love isn’t exactly common, Kid. I’m older than dirt and have only found it once.”

“It doesn’t matter dad…” She repeated. “Because…In what universe, does a common born mercenary-turned professor end up with royalty?”

“In this one!” Jeralt answered and Byleth shook her head sadly.

"You don't understand. I mean, he's probably betrothed or something. He's a prince. "

“No, you don't understand. Listen, I'm from Faerghus and I know some stuff that you obviously don’t know. Sure, some of the lower noble families arrange marriages to build their power and influence, but the royal family never has. They already have all the power and influence they could want. As far back as Loog, and probably all the way to Blaiddyd himself, the Kings of Faerghus have always married for love.” Byleth just stared at her father in disbelief. “All I’m saying is it isn’t impossible, Kid. Hell you wouldn’t even be the first commoner to sit on the Queen’s throne. I can think of at least three. The first mercenary? Maybe.”

“Thanks for the pep talk old man. I’ll think about it.” She pushed back from the table and stood behind his chair leaning her head on his head and hugging around his neck. “I have to go.”

“Yeah, I know you’re a busy woman.” He looked up and kissed her cheek which made her scrunch her nose at him. “Just, do me a favor, and don’t go giving me any royal grandbrats any time soon. I’m not old enough to be a Grandpa yet.”

"Dad!" She tightened the hug and pretended to strangle him for a few seconds. “That’s it! I am never having breakfast with you again. You are the worst.” She let go and ruffled his hair. “See you later?"

He shook his head. "Sorry kid, I'm going off on a mission this afternoon. I should be back sometime next week though."

"Oh. Well, be careful, please. "

"Don't worry about me, Kid."

He watched her walk away from him and be immediately swarmed by a pink-haired girl and the soft-spoken healer from her house and dragged away. He wondered if he had done the right thing by encouraging things between his daughter and the Prince. They were obviously crazy about each other. She could do a lot worse, and he could not possibly do better than her. The only thing that gave him pause was the other fact he knew about the history of the Blaiddyd kings. The one that he didn’t tell her about. They had a nasty habit of dying young, and often violently. In his admittedly long lifetime, Jeralt had seen eleven Kings of Faerghus, and countless Regents. By comparison, in the same amount of time, there had been only four Adrestian Emperors, and only two Duke Reigans. Whether that was because of the warrior culture in Faerghus or something else, he didn't know. Jeralt had spent the last twenty-one years being haunted by the ghost of his love for her mother, and he wanted better than early widowhood for Byleth. He took a drink from his flask. “Happy birthday Dimitri. Here’s hoping you have many more.”

***

When Dimitri was younger, he and his friends were inseparable. If asked, back then, he probably could not have chosen who among them was his best friend. In the past few years, he still couldn't have answered the question, but for the opposite reason. If pressed, he thought it might be Dedue, if Dedue would ever loosen up enough to consider Dimitri his friend and not just his liege. Ever since Duscar, even when he was surrounded by people, Dimitri felt incredibly lonely most of the time. Until he came to the Officer’s Academy. He was trying hard to reconnect with his friends and had felt like he was making some progress. Sure, a lot of them still treated him like he was untouchable, but at least he had made some headway with Sylvain, and to some degree, Felix. He was only openly hostile half of the time, which, for Felix, was a huge improvement.

Dimitri and the rest of the Blue Lions were spread out at multiple tables in the library, ostensibly studying for exams with a few of the students from other houses. Strangely, it seemed like all of the female students of the Officer’s Academy were present in the library that afternoon, except for Edelgard, but that part didn’t surprise Dimitri as much. The girls, all except for Annette and Lysithea, were sitting at one table and they were talking excitedly about something. Annette and Lysithea were at their own table, the only students in the library who were actually studying.

“Stop planning things without us!” Annette shouted over at the other table. “We’re almost finished.”

“If we waited for the two of you to stop studying, we’d be here until Saint Cichol Day!” Hilda called back.

“We cannot be waiting that long. Is not Saint Cichol Day after the ball dancing?” Petra asked. “I was thinking we wanted to do the sleeping celebration before the dancing?”

“It’s called a slumber party, Petra.” Mercedes corrected gently, but not without a giggle.

“Exactly, Petra!” Hilda squealed. “See, Petra gets it! You guys need to get over here or we’re planning everything without you! Even the snacks.” She turned back to the girls at the table. “I’m thinking we need all spicy food, no sweets and definitely, no cake.” She said loudly enough for her voice to carry.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Lysithea shouted. “What kind of party doesn’t have cake?”

Back on the other side of the room where Dimitri was sitting with Sylvain and Felix, Felix slammed his fist on the table. “How are we supposed to concentrate on anything with all that racket?” He turned to face the table behind them and shouted. “Hey! Keep it down over there, you sound like a pack of wyverns in heat!”

“Oh hush, Felix!” Dorothea shouted back. The girls' table erupted into laughter.

"You tell him, Dorothea!" Ingrid whooped.

At the table next to Dimitri, Ashe and Dedue were studying. But they were looking at cookbooks, not schoolbooks. “It’s a good thing Tomas isn’t around today. He’d kick us all out.” Ashe said with a laugh. Dedue nodded.

Dimitri could not help but agree with Ashe. He was trying to study and was failing for multiple reasons, however the noise the girls were making was the least of his problems. The first, and most distracting reason he couldn't study, was he could not stop thinking about the Professor and the fact that he was having dinner and tea with her later. The second, and almost equally distracting reason, was that Sylvain would not stop teasing Dimitri about the fact that he was having dinner and tea with the Professor later.

“Fe, we’re on break next week, who cares?” Felix turned back to his work, seething over the fact that the girls had effectively ignored him and continued their loud discussion. Sylvain shook Dimitri by the shoulder. “We have something a lot more important to discuss here, Felix. His Highness has a date with the professor tonight!”

Felix rolled his eyes and went back to reading his book. Dimitri grimaced. “Sylvain, we are just having tea for my birthday. She has tea with everyone on their birthdays.”

“Ah, but not tea _and_ dinner. You’re having dinner with her. It’s definitely a date,” Sylvain argued. “Back me up here, Felix.”

“No.”

“She has meals with students all the time, Sylvain. Stop making this seem like more than it is.” Dimitri said, even though his heart leapt at the thought that Sylvain might be right.

“True, true. She does eat meals with students. Sometimes, if Sir Jeralt isn’t here, she has breakfast with Leonie. And, you’re right, she has lunch with different students every day. But…” He leaned over and looked around suspiciously as though he was a spy about to divulge a state secret and whispered. “…not dinner. She usually has dinner with Manuela and Hanneman, or sometimes Seteth and Flayn. She’ll even go out with Catherine and Shamir when they’re around. But she does not have dinner with students.”

“She’s had dinner with me and Leonie a few times.” Felix said, not looking up from the notes he was taking.

“Yeah, when you guys spar through dinnertime. That doesn’t count!” Sylvain waved his hand dismissively at Felix. “Besides, everyone knows you three are thick as thieves. The point is, eating dinner with Dimitri here, is an anomaly and we need to help him figure out why she agreed to it. I think she likes him. And we know he likes her. So. It’s. A. Date.”

Dimitri could feel the heat rise to his face. Was Sylvian correct about this? He had not noticed until Sylvain pointed it out, but she really did not have dinner with students most of the time. “It is not a date. We are merely eating in the dining hall surrounded by everyone else in the monastery, which she probably agreed to do simply because I asked her. Since it is my birthday, she may have felt compelled to say yes.”

“Or, far more likely, she was compelled by your sexiness.” Sylvain winked at him.

“I am not… _sexy_.” Dimirti narrowed his eyes at Sylvain.

“Shut up, yes you are. The hair, the eyes, the muscles, face it – you’re hot, Your Highness.” Sylvain continued. Dimitri did not think it was possible to blush any more than he previously was, but he managed to find a way. “It would point more to being a date if it wasn't in the dining hall... but either way, I’m just baffled that you had the balls to ask her out! Now we just need you to find the courage to tell her you’re in love with her.”

“I cannot tell her that! She cannot know that I… that I am…in love with her, she’s our Professor!” Dimitri whispered harshly, blushing ever more brightly.

“That’s no excuse, she won’t be our Professor forever.” Sylvain replied, clapping Dimitri on the back. “At least you finally admitted it to yourself. That’s the first step.”

Felix closed his book and scoffed. “Really? And when are you going to take the first step and finally admit that you’re in love with Ingrid, you hypocrite?”

Dimitri laughed, relieved that the attention was finally on someone else. Sylvain sat up suddenly and looked over to the girl’s table to make sure Ingrid had not heard. “Not cool Felix, she might’ve heard you!”

“I’m going to go sit with Annette. At least she can keep her mouth shut when we’re trying to study.” Felix stood up and started to gather his things.

“Yeah, but we all know you prefer Annette with her mouth open.” Sylvain said with a laugh.

“Sylvain! You can’t say things like that!" Dimitri scolded as Felix threw the book in his hand at Sylvain’s head. Sylvain reached up to catch it just in time.

“You two need to get your heads out of the gutter; I meant he likes her singing.” Sylvain handed the book back to Felix.

“Sure, you did.” Dimitri said, trying to stifle a smile.

“I fucking hate you both.” Felix took his book back and walked, not to Annette’s table, but out of the library altogether.

"And we both know he's been making her sing pretty loudly these days." Sylvain winked.

"Please, stop."

"You're right, Your Highness, back to you. What are you going to wear?" Dimitri looked down at his uniform. "No good. You can't wear the clothes she sees you in everyday on a date."

"It is not a date."

"What if it is? You should get her something, candy, jewelry, you know...not a dagger." Sylvain laughed. “Are you gonna try to kiss her?”

Dimitri broke his pencil. 

***

Byleth stood in her room in her underwear looking at her limited wardrobe and she sighed. She suddenly wished she had spent at least a little of her earnings on herself. Buying new clothes wasn't something she had ever considered before. Other than her everyday clothing, battle armor, and the uniforms given to her by Seteth, she had no other clothes. She had thought she didn’t need anything else until she found herself with nothing to wear. 

_"Do not fret. We have gotten you out of tougher scrapes. Let's see what you have to work with."_ Sothis floated in the corner of the room. " _What if you wear the skirt from your student uniform, with the top you wear under your corset armor. Casual, but cute."_

"That could work." She moved the pieces together. "That’s going to show quite a bit more skin than usual for me, arms, neck, stomach, legs. Should I wear the tights to compensate?"

" _Showing skin is the point!”_ Sothis giggled. “ _But, of course you should wear the tights. He loves the tights. Ooh, and wear your headband. It's lovely and you don't wear it often enough."_

“How do you know he likes my tights?”

_“I can see what he looks at when you aren’t paying attention. Trust me, wear the tights.”_

Normally being bossed around by Sothis would annoy her, but in this case, since she was helping, Byleth decided to let it slide. She got dressed as Sothis recommended and turned to face her.

"What do you think?" 

"Hmmm. _It is acceptable. You may want to think of going shopping before the ball however."_

Byleth laughed in agreement. "If only I could borrow your dress for the ball Sothis, it's beautiful."

" _As if you could fit those things in this dress."_ Sothis cackled. She stopped when they heard a knock on the door and then she disappeared. “ _Good luck!”_

Byleth opened her door to reveal Dimitri waiting with his hands behind his back. He looked at her and his eyes widened. "Good evening, Professor."

"Good evening, Dimitri." She smiled at the look on his face and thanked Sothis in her head for the advice on what to wear.

Dimitri snapped himself out of his haze. "There is something I wish to give you before dinner, give me your hand." She did, and he brought his own hand out from behind his back and gave her a small bouquet of Forget me Nots. Byleth was speechless. "Please, say something. If it is an inappropriate gift, I can take them back." He took the flowers from her hand.

‘No!” She shook her head and a large smile bloomed on her face. "No that's not it at all. Hang on." She retreated into her room and grabbed an identical bouquet from her desk and held it out to him. "You beat me to it. Happy Birthday, Dimitri!"

Dimitri looked at the flowers she offered and laughed. "I see. Right. In that case, let us exchange them, shall we?" They switched bouquets.

“Great minds think alike.” Byleth laughed.

“Indeed.” He nodded. “Shall we head to the dining hall?” He offered her his arm and she took it.

“Actually, I was thinking we could eat dinner at a restaurant in the village. There’s a place I found with Catherine and Shamir that I think you would enjoy. If that’s okay with you? It is your birthday after all.”

“I would enjoy going anywhere with you, Professor. I mean – I am sure I will enjoy going anywhere you pick out.” As they walked through the marketplace and out of the gates, Dimitri assessed the situation. She had changed out of her regular clothes, they had exchanged flowers, and they weren’t going to the dining hall, they were walking arm in arm to an actual restaurant. It was indisputable and unthinkable. Sylvain was right. They were on a date. He was on a date. With his Professor. He prayed the Goddess would be merciful enough to let him get through the night without blurting out how he felt about her.

Two hours later they found themselves still seated next to each other at a table in the corner of the restaurant, watching a small band perform on stage. Their food was long gone, but they lingered to listen to the music and talk. They talked about everything: classes, weapons, Byleth’s life as a mercenary, tales of Dimitri and the others growing up in Fhirdiad, and the orphans they were teaching swordplay to. They debated over which were the brightest of them, and which were their favorites to teach.

Dimitri laughed. “I bet they all wish they could be your favorite student, Professor. I know all of us Lions do.”

“Unfortunately, I can only have one favorite student to teach.” She looked at him, smiled, and hoped he would take the bait.

“And who might that be, Professor?” he asked, looking over at her as well.

Gotcha, she thought. She grinned and looked back toward the stage. “Felix, of course.”

“Felix!”

“Yes. Objectively, he is my best student and despite his attitude, he is a pleasure to teach. Any weapon I give him, he is just a beast: swords, lances, axes, bows. Even without weapons he’s a great brawler and decent at reason magic. Really his only weaknesses are faith magic and authority, but I think that’s more of preference thing than an aptitude thing.” Dimitri looked at Byleth incredulously and she shrugged. “You’d be strong contender for second place if you didn’t break so many weapons, but as it is, I’d have to put you third.”

“Ridiculous.” He said crossing his arms. “Who else would even be in the running for second place?”

“Annette. But you’re a strong third place. No competition.”

“Third place.” He uncrossed his arms and leaned over the table with his head down. “You’re giving me third place on my birthday? Really?” She figured she’d teased him enough.

“No, Dimitri. Not really.” She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder. “Felix and Annette might be easier to teach, but I think it’s pretty obvious who my favorite is overall.” Dimirti was too afraid to ask, so he just looked up and held her gaze. “It’s you.” She whispered, a blush quickly appearing and then disappearing on her face. His blush appeared and remained.

By the time the band finished playing, it was getting late. They picked up their bouquets and walked back to the monastery. A few moments later and they were back in the gates, walking across the grounds, and back in front of her door. “I think it might be too late for us to actually have tea tonight, Dimitri. We won’t be able to see anything in the garden.”

“ _Why don’t you ask him to have tea in your room?”_ Sothis teased. Shut it Sothis, she thought. “ _I wonder if he will try to kiss you goodnight?”_ Byleth closed her eyes in annoyance. “W _ould you let him if he did try?”_

“I believe you are right, Professor. Even so, I have had a wonderful time this evening. With or without tea. Thank you."

"You're welcome." She unlocked her door and stepped inside before turning back to face him. He seemed troubled. "Dimitri, are you alright."

"Yes, fine." She did not know he was trying to work up the courage to do just what Sothis was teasing Byleth about. _You're pathetic, boy._ His father's voice, followed by Glenn's. _Why would she want to kiss you?_ He did not want to end the night like this. Succumbing to the taunting of his ghosts and ruining the memory of the evening they had shared. "Professor... can I..." He could not do it. "May I...have a hug?"

"Of course." She said. What he didn't know is that he'd just asked Byleth to do one of the things she was worst at. She was, what Leonie called, 'incapable of normal human affection '. After watching her walk up to Jeralt's side and lean on him until he hugged her one day, it was Felix who diagnosed her as being someone who 'hugs like a cat'. Watching the cats running around all over the place she'd had enough time to observe and agree. When a cat wanted affection, it walked up to a person and just sort of rubbed against them from the side, or with their heads. Byleth saw herself in those cats.

But there was something different that night. The request came from Dimitri, who so often looked like he needed a hug. She took the step to close the distance between them. Goddess, he was _tall._ She stood on her toes with a laugh and wrapped her arms around his neck. He encircled her waist with his arms and tried not to squeeze too tight. 

"Happy Birthday, Dimitri." She whispered in his ear. 

It was the best birthday he had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos give me life! Judge me, validate me, tell me I'm pretty!


	3. Sleeping Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls reveal their plans and have a party. A promise is made.
> 
> Song for this Chapter: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I would update weekly, but I guess the muse was kind. Here you go!

21st Ethereal Moon

Imperial Year 1179

The next morning Byleth lay in bed looking at the flowers Dimitri gave her, which she had placed in a vase on her desk. She'd had a great time the night before but couldn't help but feel guilty about it for some reason. She was sure Seteth would've had a long lecture for her about unprofessional behavior if he knew, even though nothing happened. 

She was snapped out of her reverie by a loud banging on her door. She stumbled out of bed and opened it to find Felix leaning on her door frame. “Get dressed, come spar with me.”

“Good morning to you too Felix.” She ran her hands through her hair and yawned. “I’d love to spar with you, but I have things to do this morning.”

He frowned at her. “Like what? It’s Sunday. We are on break this week so have no classes to prepare for. And I know you aren’t meeting your dad for breakfast because he isn’t here. What else could you possibly be doing?”

“I made plans to have breakfast with the girls this morning, then I have a meeting with Lady Rhea. After that, Annette and I have dance practice, you should know that.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “And why should I know that?”

“Because she’s your girlfriend?”

“That doesn’t mean I keep constant tabs on what she’s doing!” Felix crossed his arms. “Who am I supposed to spar with then?”

“Ask Dimitri. Or Sylvain? Or literally anyone else.” She laughed as he frowned further. “Look, I can’t invite you to breakfast, but you should come watch dance practice. Annette could use your help, you’re really graceful you know. So graceful, I may change my mind and make you our class representative after all.”

“Annette would kill you. I would kill you. I'm only graceful when I'm holding a sword.” 

“There’s nothing in the rules that says you can't dance holding a sword." She pointed out. "But you're right, Annette would kill me. She's really looking forward to it. It's just... her enthusiasm mixed with her clumsiness...let's just say she needs the practice.” Felix nodded in agreement. “If you change your mind, we’re meeting for dance at noon in the classroom.”

“Maybe. Wait...noon?” He shook his head at her. “No way. It’s just now after the eighth bell. There is no way you guys can have breakfast that long! If you eat fast you have time to spar with me before meeting Rhea.”

Byleth shrugged. “I just know what I was told. Hilda and Mercedes said it would take a while, but I wasn’t told what _it_ was. They said they had a plan to show me.”

“Huh. That must have been what they were all screeching about yesterday.” He furrowed his brows in thought. “Are all the girls going to this breakfast meeting thing?”

“I'm not sure. I do know Leonie is so she will also be unavailable to spar with you.” Byleth smirked.

“Damnit!” He sighed, resigned. “I guess I’ll go wake Sylvain or find the Boar.” He looked disappointed in the idea. "Neither of them are particularly strong with swords though, and I spar with them so often that fighting lancers is easy for me now."

"Fighting anyone is easy for you." Byleth went into Professor mode. "Why don't you see if Claude or Ashe are willing to shoot arrows at you. Work on dodging their attacks and then coming out swinging. Like this, sword please?" She motioned toward his sword belt and he handed her one of the swords he always carried. 

"Dodge..." she moved out of the way of an invisible arrow then turned and thrusted with the sword, ".. then strike." She repeated the movements. His eyes brightened. 

"Maybe I can get both of them to shoot at me at once. Thanks for the idea." He took his sword back and sped away.

***

As Byleth waited in line to get her breakfast Mercedes appeared at her side.

"Good morning, Professor! We saved you a seat. Once you get your food, we are right over there." She pointed over at one of the tables, and Byleth looked to see all the female students were seated there. A few of them waved at her.

"When you and Hilda said 'breakfast with the girls' I didn't think you meant every girl in the Officer’s Academy." She raised an eyebrow at Mercedes. "What is this about? Do you all want to lodge complaints about Lorenz and Sylvain?” 

"You'll see. I promise it's nothing bad." Mercedes giggled, putting Byleth at ease. She had a way about her that made it seem like her healing energy just seeped out of her. 

Byleth got some sweet buns and coffee and joined the large group at the table, where they seated her directly in the middle. She looked around. "Wow, everyone is here. Oh, except for Flayn. And Monica." Byleth noticed neither girl was in attendance.

"I believe Flayn is in the Cathedral with Seteth and Monica went home for break and may not return to her studies this year after all. Her parents are understandably eager to see her." Edelgard explained. " I apologize again ladies for missing the planning session yesterday. I was helping her prepare for her departure."

"That's alright Edie, you're here now." Dorothea patted her shoulder reassuringly.

Byleth took a sip of her coffee. "So, why are we all here this morning?" She looked around the table and noticed everyone was looking towards Hilda, so she directed her attention there as well. 

"Well it was kind of my idea." Hilda said proudly, talking out a handful of papers. “We are having a Sleeping Celebration!”

“Sleeping celebration?” Byleth asked.

“It’s a slumber party, but Petra called it that once by mistake, and we kind of liked it, so we made it the party’s official title.” Mercedes smiled.

“I am most proud to have named it.” Petra nodded.

“Title by Petra and art by Bernie!” Hilda showed Byleth the page on the top of her pile. It had ‘Sleeping Celebration 1179’ written on it in beautiful calligraphy. "So, I was talking to Mercedes about the ball and I mentioned Holst told me that the year he was here, the Golden Deer girls had a sleepover the night before the ball and everyone got ready together the next day. I had planned to do the same when I got here this year, but then you recruited two of our girls to the Lions, so that only left two in the Deer, and two girls are not enough for a decent slumber party! No offense Marianne!"

"None taken." Marianne said softly, shaking her head.

"You know I love you. Anyway," Hilda continued "We thought about combining our two classes and having one party, but realized since you also recruited two of the Eagle girls that would leave only Edelgard and Petra left out, and we couldn’t have that! So we decided to combine all three classes and invite everyone!”

"I would’ve recruited you all if I could, but Seteth said I had to stop at two from each house unless someone transferred out." Byleth said through a mouth full of sweet bun.

"Oh! So just kick out four of the boys and take us instead! We could have so much fun in an all girl house!" Hilda squealed.

"Well kick out three. Unfortunately, I would not be able to transfer as I am a house leader." Edelgard said. "As much as I would love to have you as my teacher officially."

"Thanks Edelgard. But you all know I'm your teacher whether you’re in my class or not, right?" Byleth smiled as the girls all agreed. "Good, because I love my boys, I can't kick them out."

"Some more than others though, right Byleth." Leonie whispered to her, nudging her in the side. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about. " She cleared her throat and changed the subject as soon as possible. "So, a slumber party? Sounds like you’ll have a great time. What do you need from me?"

“Well, you are coming too, of course! You may be our professor but you are one of the girls as well.” Lysithea said. “We’d ask Catherine and Shamir too, but they are off on a mission.”

“We even asked Manuela, but she said she has a date that night.” Dorothea laughed. “I think she just said no because I told her we weren’t having alcohol.” 

“You absolutely have to come, Professor!” Hilda continued. “If you aren’t there who will be the…the...” She shuffled her papers and read from one of the lists. “... the wise older woman we ask for advice about our love lives?” She pointed to one of the items on the list labeled ‘Activities’

“Mercedes, obviously.” Byleth answered. Hilda pouted. “Stop making that face Hilda. I’ll be there. Leonie and I sometimes had sleepovers when we were younger. It sounds fun.”

“Those hardly count.” Leonie shook her head. “We would mostly go fishing, build a fire, and then sleep in the woods. From what I’ve seen of Hilda’s plans, this will be completely different.”

“Yeah it will be! We will not be touching slimy fish or setting anything on fire. Definitely also not sleeping in the woods. That's where you come in, Professor.” Hilda shuffled through her papers again to a page with the title ‘To Do’ underlined twice. “Now, when the plan was for four girls, we would have been able to do this in one of our bedrooms, but with thirteen of us, we need somewhere else. And if we want to use one of the facilities for some kind of group thing, we have to ask permission.”

“We know you always have a meeting with Lady Rhea on Sundays!” Annette jumped in excitedly. “So we were wondering if you would ask for her permission for us. She won’t say no to you.”

“I could do that.” Byleth nodded. “Where do you want to have this party?”

“Well…” Hilda looked down at her ‘Activities’ page. “We’re still trying to figure that part out.”

“We’ll be in the kitchen for the baking and snack making.” Mercedes offered looking around the dining hall. “And we need some tables to put them on for snacking throughout the night. Maybe here?”

“But we cannot be staying here in the dining hall for all the night. We will be needing also a place for dressing for the ball.” Petra added. “And for sleeping.”

“I...can just sleep in my own room. If that helps?” Bernadetta said.

“No Bernie. You’re going to be there with us. Don’t make me break your door down.” Ingrid said jokingly. Bernadetta made a sort of squeaking noise. “Really, the main thing is we need to find a space big enough so we can spread our bedrolls out, but small enough that we can be close enough to talk to each other, and that has a table big enough for snacks.” She looked at Hilda. “Oh, and preferably indoors.”

Byleth thought about it. “What about the Blue Lion’s Classroom?” she offered. “Since it’s my classroom, I don’t think Rhea would mind giving us permission to do it there.”

“That could work.” Hilda nodded and wrote ‘Blue Lion’s Room’ on her notes. “But what about all the desks? We only need a couple for snacks and the rest would be in the way. I don’t want to have to move those heavy things. Look at my skinny little arms!” She said, holding up her obviously muscular arms.

Byleth smirked. “Leave that to me.” The girls all started to chatter excitedly around her. “Wait, you said we needed a place where thirteen people could sleep. I’m only counting twelve of us.” 

“Well, that’s the last thing we need you to do, Professor” Hilda pointed at the last item on her ‘To-Do’ list. The item was circled multiple times. “Convince Seteth to let Flayn come to the party!”

***

Byleth had tea with Lady Rhea later that morning. When she told her about the party idea and asked for permission to use her classroom as the setting, Rhea smiled gently and agreed.

“We have allowed students to do such things in the past. I see no reason to deny you. I am so happy to see how well you are adjusting to life here Professor, and that you are getting along with the students so well.” Rhea said.

“Oh, I do enjoy the company of my students very much.” Byleth sighed and rested her chin in her hand. “It only saddens me that Seteth would not give Flayn permission to attend as well. We all care about her so much, and it hurts me to know she is the one girl in all three classes who will not be there. I feel such a strong connection with her. I’m just so afraid her feelings will be hurt if she is not included. Unfortunately, I don’t think Seteth will change his mind.”

“Well, that just won’t do. You get everything ready and leave Seteth to me. Flayn will be there.” Lady Rhea steepled her hands and smiled conspiratorially. 

By the time Byleth and Felix finished putting Annette through her paces at dance practice that day, Flayn had been given permission to go to the slumber party.

 _“And Claude fancies himself a Master Tactician! You played Rhea like a harp!”_ Sothis exclaimed.

***

24th Ethereal Moon

Imperial Year 1179

The day of the White Heron Cup had arrived. After three days of dance practice with Annette and Felix, Byleth was convinced that Annette had a real chance at beating Hilda and Petra. All three contestants were so confident that they decided whoever won the Cup would be crowned 'Queen of the Sleeping Celebration' and would get to be in charge of the party that night, since whoever won would obviously be the most charming hostess. Byleth still had to figure out the matter of getting the desks moved and the room set up, but she had a plan in mind for that. 

She walked into the training grounds early in the morning and found all four people she was looking for, right where she thought they would be. Raphael was lifting weights with Dimitri spotting and Caspar and Felix were sparring, with Felix wielding Caspar’s training axe and Caspar fighting with one of Felix’s training swords. 

"Whose idea was it for you two to fight using each other's weapons?" She asked the two sparring.

"Mine, Professor!" Caspar shouted. "You never know when you might be disarmed and have to fight with whatever weapon might be nearby! I need more practice with swords." Felix took advantage of Caspar's distraction and landed a hit to his abdomen.

"And...Dead." Felix spun the axe.

"Awww, man." Caspar rubbed his stomach. "You need something, Professor?"

"Sorry Caspar." Byleth tried not to smile and wondered when she had to start trying not to smile after a lifetime of not smiling. “I need help, actually. Raph, Dimitri, can you come here for a minute?" She called across the grounds.

"Of course, Professor!" Dimitri grabbed the weight that Raphael was struggling to bench press in one hand and easily set it back on the rack.

"How! How can you do that?" Raphael covered his face with his hands. "Your muscles make my muscles feel bad."

"Apologies Raphael." Dimitri patted Raphael on the back. "It is my crest that helps me do things like that. Do not feel bad, your muscles should be proud of the work they did." 

Raphael smiled sheepishly and ruffled Dimitri’s hair, leaving it sticking up all over the place. “Thanks, Your Highness.”

"Speaking of working muscles…" Byleth started, not being able to keep from smiling at the state of Dimitri’s hair, "I know you’re on break this week, but I was wondering if the four strongest guys I know would be willing to help me with a little assignment?" They all nodded. "Great, follow me." 

She led them out of the training grounds and to the Blue Lions classroom where Hilda and Annette were waiting to tell them what they needed to do. "Ladies, I've brought you your promised muscle. I leave them in your capable hands."

“Thank you, Professor!” Hilda called from behind Byleth’s desk, where she had all her party plans spread out.

“Ooh, my favorite muscles!” Annette flew at Felix and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. Felix promptly turned red.

Byleth turned and walked out of the room but was followed by Dimitri. He stopped her just outside the door. "You aren’t staying, Professor?" He had hardly seen her in the last few days, except in passing. Was she avoiding him? 

“No, I’m not staying.” Without even thinking, she reached up to smooth down and fix his hair that Raphael had messed up. “I promised Dorothea and Manuela they could take me shopping.”

Dimitri grinned at the contact and allowed himself to enjoy the feel of her fingers running through his hair, immediately forgetting any thoughts that she might be avoiding him. “He did make quite a mess of it, didn’t he?” She seemed to realize what she was doing and stopped. 

“Sorry, it was just...begging to be fixed.” She looked back into the classroom to avoid looking at him, in the hopes that not looking at him would mean she wouldn’t blush. It didn’t work.

Dimitri cleared his throat. “So, shopping?”

“Yes, for a dress to wear to the ball. I’ve been told I can’t wear this.” She motioned to her regular outfit and laughed.

“Your Highness, we need your help!” Annette called from inside the classroom. Byleth waved goodbye and Dimitri reluctantly went back into the classroom, though he didn’t know how much help he would be since he was suddenly consumed by thoughts of what Byleth would look like in a dress. 

Hilda and Annette quickly let them know where they wanted everything moved and the boys got to work. Hearing the commotion as they walked by, Sylvain, Linhardt, and Claude offered to help supervise. 

“So, an eve of merriment tonight, and then the big dance tomorrow? Ok, I’ll admit it. The Officer’s Academy isn’t as uptight as I thought.” Claude sat on one of the desks that was placed along the wall and idly spun an arrow in his fingers.

“This is the only ball of the year, and I see why.” Dimitri carried a desk on his own and placed it next to the one where Claude was sitting and leaned on it. “Everyone is absurdly excited, but there’s so much for everyone to do to get ready for it. What a burden. I hate these types of things.”

Felix and Caspar were carrying a desk together. “Huh. I never thought we’d see eye to eye Boar, but I agree. I’d rather be swinging my blade than dancing at some ball.” Annette narrowed her eyes at Felix, and he sighed. “I just hate big parties.”

Sylvain jumped to sit on the desk that Felix and Caspar had just set down. “Felix! Your Highness! You must be joking right? This is our chance to dance with all the ladies of the academy to our heart’s content and you wish to throw away the best night of the whole year for sword practice? Insanity, I tell you!”

Caspar joined Sylvain on the desk. “I’m pretty excited about the ball myself. It’s not like we get to do things like this very often.”

“Too true Caspar.” Sylvain nodded. He put his arm around Caspar’s shoulders. “In fact, I’m gonna do you a favor and give you a crash course in picking up girls. By tomorrow you’ll be an expert!”

“Actually, I’d much rather someone just teach me how to dance…” Caspar jumped off the desk, out from underneath Sylvain’s arm, ran to grab Linhardt and started to dance. “Lin tried to teach me a few years ago, but I can’t seem to get it.” Next to Linhardt, who moved elegantly and gracefully, Caspar’s movements were spastic and jerky.

“I am a good dancer.” Linhardt said sleepily. Perhaps I should participate in this dance.”

“Don’t worry about the dancing part, Caspar. I can teach you that, easy!” Hilda walked over to the pair and cut in, stealing Caspar and trying to lead him without leading, twirling and spinning under his arm as they laughed. “Dancing is the only thing I’m really good at, anyway. Well, that and planning parties!” Hilda stopped dancing. “Speaking of which, break time is over boys. You need to move the rest of this stuff.”

Raphael walked up to Hilda, trying to hold a desk on his own, like Dimitri did. “Where did you say you wanted this one?” 

“Hmmm, over by the door. Then line up another one right next to it. We can make those the food tables.” She answered.

“Food! You didn’t say you were having food at this party! Why can’t we come again?” Raphael asked, struggling to move the desk on his own.

“It’s a slumber party! It’s for us girls only!” Annette answered.

“I attended a slumber party once. Everyone stayed up all night and didn’t sleep at all. So disappointing." Linhardt shook his head.

Once the furniture was all moved, Hilda and Annette left them alone in the classroom to go get their supplies and bring them to the room to set up.. While they were gone Raphael and Caspar began to complain that there was likely to be some great snacks served, and it wasn’t fair that they wouldn’t get any. Linhardt really wanted to see if there would be more sleeping at this party than the last slumber party he attended. Sylvain didn’t want to miss a chance to see all the academy girls in pajamas. Dimitri, although he didn’t say so out loud, really wanted to see the Professor again. Claude started to hatch a scheme. 

***

The White Heron Cup was a close contest. In the end, Annette emerged triumphant. She was going to be given the chance to study for the Dancer classification, but she was most excited to be the ‘Queen of the Sleeping Celebration’. Once the girls finished making their snacks and travelled in a pack to the classroom, Hilda placed a tiara she made on Annette’s head and Petra handed her a magic staff to act as her scepter. 

“All hail our charming ruler!” Hilda shouted. 

“Thank you. Thank you.” Annette stood up on a chair with Petra’s help. “For my first act as Queen, I declare that Hilda and Petra are Princesses of the Sleeping Celebration!” Everyone cheered. “My second act is to declare this party has officially started! Everyone change into your pajamas and start getting your areas ready!”

“Oh! We moved the chalkboard and made a little space over there for anyone who doesn’t want to change in front of everyone else!” Hilda pointed excitedly across the room to where they set up a changing room, complete with a curtain made from a sheet. The girls had just finished changing and getting all of their bed rolls, blankets, and pillows set up when the doors burst open and all of the boys appeared.

“Hi everyone! How’s the party going?” Claude asked.

“What are you guys doing here!” Hilda shouted, crossing her arms across her chest. “You’re not invited!”

“The sleeping celebration is for the women only. We are females bonding.” Petra said sternly.

“As Queen of the Sleeping Celebration, I command you to state your purpose here and then leave.” 

“We just wanted to say goodnight.” Sylvain winked.

“Gross.” Ingrid frowned. “Go away.”

“My fair ladies, indeed, we wanted to wish you all a goodnight, but we had another reason for coming here this evening.” Claude smiled. “Everyone, listen up! I have a brilliant idea. Teach, you’ll want in on this too.” He continued, pointing to Byleth. She raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue. He stood on the chair next to the chair Annette was standing on. “This may sound impetuous. Perhaps irresponsible. Almost certainly impossible. But we’re gonna do it anyway. In exactly five years’ time, let’s promise to meet again, right here in the monastery.”

“Ooh, a reunion? That sounds fun! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Annette jumped excitedly and would have fallen off her chair, if Felix had not been there to catch her and set her on the ground safely. The boys had started to filter into the room as Claude spoke. Raphael and Caspar made a beeline for the food table. Linhardt found a pile of extra pillows and blankets and lay down. 

Dimitri, as usual, found himself standing next to Byleth. “Five years from now?” He questioned. “Ah! That’s when Garreg Mach will be holding its Millennium festival.”

“I hear the millennium festival will be the largest celebration in the monastery’s history.” Ignatz interjected.

“Oh, I get it! It’ll be easier for us all to get back here with the millennium festival as an excuse.” Hilda smiled. “Good idea, Claude!”

“Ooh, how exciting! Sounds like a great excuse to come visit our dear professor.” Dorothea pulled Byleth into a hug from behind and rested her chin on the shorter woman’s shoulder. Byleth awkwardly patted her head.

Lindhardt spoke up from his spot on the floor. “That’s assuming the professor is still here in five years…and not enjoying a cozy early retirement.”

“Even if that’s the case, you will come won’t you? Whether or not you’re still teaching here?” Edelgard asked.

Dimitri looked over at Byleth, who was still being hugged by Dorothea. He felt irrationally jealous. He wished he were the one hugging her instead. “I’d...We'd love for you to be there as well, Professor. After all, you’re the heart of the Blue Lion House.” Byleth grinned and held his gaze for perhaps a little too long. 

Claude cleared his throat. “Ahem…That was your cue to promise everyone you’ll return. Go on, set a good example, Teach. If you promise, everyone else will, too.”

“Peer pressure is bad Claude.” Byleth deadpanned. “But yes, of course, I will be there.”

Lysithea laughed and clapped her hands. “I’m already excited! After five years, we’ll all be whoever we’re going to become! Just think of it.”

Ingrid pointed to Dimitri. “By then we’ll be addressing Your Highness as Your Majesty instead!” she bowed.

Sylvain nodded. “That’s right. I suppose we all know it’s coming, but by then you’ll be far removed from us.”

Dimitri shook his head. “Come now. You know me better than that. My title may change, but I won’t.” He looked at everyone around the room. "Besides, it won’t just be me, you know. Five years from now, many of you will have your own stuffy positions to contend with.”

Felix scoffed. “Ugh...Duke Fraldarius, don’t remind me.”

Claude grinned. “The promise is sealed! That means we’re all obligated to keep it. Five years from today, all of us will meet again at the monastery. 

“Yay!” Annette clapped her hands, gave Felix a quick kiss, and pushed him toward the door. “Now, get out, all of you!”

The guys began to leave, some taking a few sweets with them on the way out. 

“Can I please stay? This is so comfortable.” Linhardt had dragged his nest of blankets to the front of one of the fireplaces and was all tucked in. “Please?”

Annette sighed. “All in favor of letting him stay.” The vote passed, but Linhardt was asleep before it was even over.

A while later, while Petra was teaching them all to do the intricate braids popular in Brigid, the silence was again broken by a knock on the door. The girls had learned their lesson and locked it.

“As Queen of the Sleeping Celebration, I command you to state your name and business!” Annette yelled through the door. 

“Wow, she’s really getting into this.” Leonie smirked. “Looks like we have a dictator on our hands.”

Linhardt sat up and frowned at the noise coming from the door. “Everyone knows you can’t give short people any kind of power. It goes to their heads and they go crazy.” 

“Hey!” Hilda yelled. “Be nice or we’ll change our minds and make you leave.”

“I’m not being mean. I read a fascinating study about it. Short people overcompensate for their size by being aggressive and overbearing, being given power makes it even worse.”

“Spoken like a true tall person.” mumbled Lysithea. “You realize you are in a room surrounded by mostly short people don’t you?”

“I’m not tall. Just tall compared to most of you.” Linhardt yawned and got comfortable under his blankets again. “We all just need to hope Edelgard grows a few inches before she takes the throne, or we’ll be in real trouble.” 

Lysithea and Hilda laughed, but Edelgard frowned at Linhardt and Bernadetta threw a pillow at him. “Mmmm...more pillows. Thanks, Bernie.” Linhardt closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.

Meanwhile, Annette had been trying to hear whoever was that was on the other side of the door. 

“Ugh, I can’t hear anything with all of you talking!” Annette opened the door a crack to peek out. “Oh! It’s Professor Manuela!”

“Manuela! You came” Dorothea called to her from her spot on the floor. “Come sit by me! I thought you had a date?”

Manuela made her way across the room. “I did, but that Knight was a total bust, which means this night was a total bust. I can’t stay all night, but I thought I’d come by and say hello.”

“I’m happy you’re here.” Byleth said from the snack table. She piled some treats on a plate and handed it and a cup of punch to Manuela. “Annette wants me to give advice about love at some point, and I’m completely unqualified, want to take over for me?”

“You want my advice about love?” Manuela said through a mouth full of cookies. “Forget about it. Love stinks. You’re better off sticking to sweets. Cookies, even if they are gone quickly, rarely leave you feeling unsatisfied.”

“Manuela!” Byleth blushed. The girls all giggled.

“I agree with Professor Manuela” Lysithea nodded sagely. “Life is too short, and I have too many things to do to worry about romantic entanglements. Give me cake any day.”

“Oh, but you can’t kiss cake.” Mercedes said, a dreamy look on her face. 

“Wanna bet?” Lysithea licked her fork.

“Ok fine, but cake can’t kiss you back.” Leonie laughed. 

“No, Lysithea is right, not about kissing cake, of course. I mean, who needs men, when you have goals to accomplish?” Edelgard shook her head. “Not me.”

“Aren’t you basically engaged to Hubert?” Dorothea asked. 

Edelgard nodded. “It’s arranged though. We’ve been betrothed since we were babies. It’s more business than love really.” 

“Hey, I’m curious. Since your dad has a bunch of wives, does that mean you get to have a bunch of husbands once you become Emperor?” Hilda asked.

“Fortunately, no.” Edelgard grimaced. “I shudder to think of what would be like.”

“You’d probably be pretty sore.” Manuela laughed into her cup of punch.

“Manuela!” Byleth smacked her arm and leaned over to the green-haired girl sitting beside her. “Flayn, ignore everything that’s happening right now or Seteth will never let you talk to any of us again.”

“What my brother doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.” Flynn said with a sly smile. “I wish to hear more about this. Why would having multiple husbands make her sore?” 

“Ahem, let’s change the subject shall we.” Mercedes said with a giggle. “Are we all excited to get dressed up tomorrow? Who does everybody want to dance with at the ball?” 

Edelgard latched onto the subject change gratefully. “While I have no worthwhile memories of such events, I’m still looking forward to it.”

“Ugh, dressing up...dancing, I’m not good at either of those things.” Leonie complained.

“So?” Hilda got up and plopped herself onto Leonie’s bedroll. “Dancing is fun! Oh! And remember that you can’t dance with the same partner multiple times. It’s tradition! That means you have to dance with all of the gentlemen in all of the houses, swapping dance partners as you please.”

“How scandalous!” Lysithea said, serving herself another piece of cake, and shaking her head. “I’ll simply watch.”

“I’ll, um…also watch. From a distance.” Marianne said softly.

“Me too!” Bernadetta shouted, from where she sat behind Marianne still filling her blue hair with little twists and braids. “You wouldn’t catch me dancing at a ball any sooner than you’d catch a fish swimming through the sky!”

Hilda refused to hear it. “You can’t just watch! If a boy asks you to dance, you simply must accept. It’s only polite. And by the time we get done dressing everyone up tomorrow, you’ll all be so beautiful everyone will ask you to dance!”

The night concluded with a lively debate regarding whether it was impolite to say no when asked to dance, with Manuela telling them they should all always say no to anything a man asks them to do, and Byleth showing them some simple grappling moves to use on overeager suitors, just in case.

***

Everyone had been asleep for a while, including Manuela who stayed after all, when Byleth awoke to a noise. She didn’t know if it was a remnant of her mercenary days, but Byleth was always hyper aware of her surroundings. As a result, she was a very light sleeper. Looking around, she tried to determine the source of the sound that woke her. There. Edelgard was tossing and turning, clearly having a nightmare. Byleth watched as she sat up fully, in a state of panic. Edelgard threw her blankets off, stood up and left the room. Her curiosity piqued, Byleth followed. She found Edelgard sitting, leaning against the door of the Black Eagles’ classroom, with her legs bent and her head between her knees, hyperventilating. Byleth sat down next to her and rubbed her back.

“Ah!...Oh, my teacher...What are you doing here?”

“I’m a light sleeper. What’s going on? Did you have a nightmare?”

“Ah...So you heard me?. Yes, it was a nightmare. Stupid, pointless dreams I can’t control. It’s terribly frustrating."

"Anything I can help with?" Byleth asked. Edelgard shook her head. "You know you can trust me if you ever need to talk."

"I know." She paused. "You'd have to swear not to tell a soul." Byleth nodded and Edelgard continued. "I dream of...my older brother, paralyzed, helpless...my older sister crying for help that never came...the youngest babbling words without meaning. I see my family dying slowly, wishing in the darkest depths for a glimmer of light."

"I didn’t know you had siblings." Although Hilda had mentioned that the Emperor had many wives, so it did make sense.

"I don't. Not anymore." Edelgard let out a labored breath. Byleth looked over expecting to see her crying, and instead noticed her face was hard with anger. "I once had ten, eight older and two younger. Every last one of them was crippled by disease or lost their mind and died. I am the only one left who can inherit the throne."

"That’s awful." 

"The nightmares are a reminder to never forget." She shook her head. "I seem to have shared more than I intended to. I suppose there’s something in the air tonight. I’ve never told anyone about my past before."

"I've been told I'm a good listener." Byleth stood up and held out her hand to help Edelgard stand, but she was already getting up on her own. They went back to the Lion’s room and back to their bedrolls. Byleth tried to sleep, but found it difficult, and she knew that somewhere in the darkness of the room, Edelgard was struggling to sleep as well.


	4. A Damsel in a Dress to Save Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation Beautification, a lovely view, and a saved dance. The day and night of the Garreg Mach Ball.
> 
> Song for this Chapter: I Fell by Naive Thieves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update is a little late. This chapter just did not want to be written. One night this week, my writer's block was so bad that I spent four hours playing Covet Fashion, making dolls of all the girls and finding them all the prefect hair, makeup, and dress to go to the ball. Screenshots included for fun.
> 
> Additional notes: I went back and added a song to each chapter to reflect the fact that I'm obsessively listening to my Dimileth playlist on Spotify and want to assign a song to each chapter. Also had to change the title of this chapter because I didn't notice I had cut a line where Alois makes a bad joke about everyone "Having a Ball"

25th Ethereal Moon

Imperial Year 1179

Everyone had a lazy morning the day after the Sleeping Celebration. Byleth didn’t wake up until late morning, and she was still one of the first awake. She had missed breakfast and decided to have an early lunch while the others roused themselves. By early afternoon, everyone except Linhardt was awake and in various states of excitement about getting ready for the ball. They took their bedrolls, blankets, and pillows back to their rooms then returned to the classroom for what Hilda was calling ‘Operation Beautification’. The only issue they were having was removing a certain green-haired mage who refused to wake up and leave. 

“Linhardt, you have to get up now.” Byleth shook him with her foot. “If you still want to nap, you can nap in your room.” He mumbled something and turned over. Byleth shrugged at Hilda. "We could just leave him there? Or have Lysithea warp him to his room?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s out of range, Professor.” Lysithea said while taking all of Linhardt’s blankets.

In the end, Hilda had to track down Caspar to come and collect him.

“Thanks Caspar!” Hilda beamed at him. “I’ll save you my first dance for all your help!”

“Wow! I should let him fall asleep in your way all the time!” Caspar laughed as he half carried, half dragged Linhardt out the door.

"He's so cute!" Hilda squealed after they were gone. "And so helpful."

"And not too smart! That's like your perfect man, right Hilda?" Leonie asked teasingly.

Hilda nodded seriously. "I know you’re joking, but actually, yes! He does meet all my criteria." She smiled wickedly. “But, I wouldn’t really talk about liking guys who aren’t that smart if I were you, Leonie. Raphael isn’t exactly a scholar.” 

“Raphael is just my friend! And anyway he’s smarter than Caspar.” Leonie snorted and Hilda shook her head in protest. “Byleth, settle this for us. Who’s smarter Caspar or Raphael?”

Byleth shrugged. “I honestly have no idea, neither one is in my class and I haven’t had either come to any of my seminars.”

“All boys are dumb. Trust me, I grew up with three male best friends." Ingrid shook her head. “Or maybe they aren’t that dumb, since all they have to do is throw on a suit for this ball. While we are about to spend hours getting ready." She sighed heavily. "Let’s get this so-called beautification over with before I change my mind.”

“Ingrid!” Annette stomped her foot. “You have to let us do your hair and makeup! You promised.”

“The sleeping celebration is over, Annette. Your reign has ended." Ingrid crossed her arms. "If I want to, I can go back to my room and nap until the ball starts, just like Lin probably will.” Annette frowned.

Mercedes came up to Ingrid and placed her hand on the younger girl's shoulder. “Ingrid, you did promise. We won't go too overboard I swear. I know your goal is to be a knight, but there is no reason why a knight can’t also look beautiful sometimes.”

“That’s right!” Hilda was busy arranging all her accessories. “Holst was here at the academy the same year as Catherine and he told me that on the night of their ball, she was so radiant he almost dragged her up to the Goddess Tower and proposed to her! And you know what a powerful knight she is!” Ingrid nodded although she did not look completely convinced. 

Dorothea hugged Ingrid on the opposite side that Mercedes was on. “My lovely Ingrid, even the professor is letting us dress her up and she’s a badass!” Byleth laughed.

Ingrid sighed but it appeared she was finally convinced. "I don't even have a proper dress."

"That's ok!" Dorothea hugged her tighter. "Between me and Hilda we brought enough dresses for each of us to get dressed twice. I'm sure we can find you something great."

For the next few hours Mercedes and Annette did everyone’s makeup, Dorothea and Petra did hair, and Hilda gave everyone fashion advice on dresses and accessories. To Byleth’s surprise many of the girls had multiple dresses to choose from, especially once Dorothea and Hilda’s dresses were added to the mix.

Byleth watched the commotion and felt warmed by all the activity. She had never experienced anything like it. There was a certain bustling energy to tearing down a campsite and packing to move to the next job, or getting ready to go to battle, but this was a level of chaos she had never witnessed. Byleth was surprised to find herself consumed by many emotions at once.

She sat back and observed as Ingrid and Petra went from tough looking knights to glamorous women who could still kick someone's ass. Ingrid borrowed a dress from Dorothea, a stunning emerald costume that Dorothea once wore on stage. Petra let Ingrid's hair out of her regular braid and piled most of it high on her head, leaving a few strands down and curled. Hilda insisted she top the outfit off with a silver and green tiara. As for Petra herself, she donned a white gown made of white rosettes on the top, with a sheer skirt that had feathers on the bottom. Her tattoos were her most prominent accessory, along with a white feathered headband keeping her hair back, which was down for once, although she still had braids intermingled throughout. The pair of them looked like warrior goddesses and Byleth felt a strange sense of pride.

Byleth giggled and was filled with happiness as Hilda, in a huge pink floral hat and a bright pink ballgown with tiny flowers and butterflies appliquéd all over it, gave Leonie lessons on how to walk in a pair of heels. Leonie struggled at first, but like with most physical things, she quickly figured it out and was soon stomping around in the strappy metallic heels that matched the gold and green dress she also borrowed from Hilda. Dorothea was disappointed she couldn't do much with Leonie’s hair, but Mercedes and Annette gave her striking makeup and it made Byleth happy to see her usually gruff best friend look so beautiful.

Byleth was excited by and in awe of the way Mercedes and Annette transformed everyone with their magical make-up skills, while managing to look flawless themselves. Mercedes' dress was deceptively plain from far away, but up close it could be seen that the layered silk dress was covered in painted branches and birds. It was almost a work of art. She needed no other accessories except a rose she grabbed from the greenhouse. Annette, on the other hand, was wearing multiple pieces of Hilda’s jewelry and her Sleeping Celebration Queen tiara at an angle atop her glossy waves courtesy of Dorothea, who was shocked at how much longer Annette's hair looked when not in her normal pig tails. Annette swept around in her silk turquoise dress making sure everyone else looked their best, and Byleth was amazed that she didn't trip once.

Byleth watched as her two youngest students transformed into beautiful young ladies. At least, she thought they were the youngest but she couldn't be sure, since she didn’t know how old Flayn was. Flayn was just happy that Seteth was allowing her to go to the ball and didn't mind that the dress he chose for her was more old-fashioned than the ones the other girls wore. It was lacy and long-sleeved and topped with a shawl to cover the neckline, but Flayn clapped and spun around in delight just the same. Dorothea tried to talk her into an updo, but she declined and almost refused to let anyone do anything to her hair. In the end, Petra convinced her to put a few braids on the top and sides of her head. In an effort to look more sophisticated, Lysithea chose a black dress that was satin on the top and sequined on the bottom, with a huge bow in the middle. Hilda gave her a black feathered headband to complete her look and Lysithea beamed, looking like a diamond set against black velvet. Byleth was overcome by how cute the two were, although she didn't dare call either of them cute out loud.

As she watched Dorothea brush Edelgard's long hair, Byleth felt almost jealous at how effortlessly beautiful the two were. Edelgard was wearing a bright red lace gown with long sleeves and a turtleneck that appeared very modest until she turned to reveal it was backless. With a crown of red silk roses, courtesy of Hilda, Edelgard looked every bit the Imperial princess she was. Dorothea had her hair gathered to the top of her head with a few curls framing her face. She wore another dress that came from her stage days. It was a halter made from a completely sheer black material, but it had pink and red beaded roses covering it, so that nothing too scandalous was revealed. Byleth thought that there was no way she, or anyone else could ever look more beautiful than the two Adrestian women.

When it was Byleth’s turn to get her hair and make-up done, Petra braided a small section and then combed the rest up into a sleek updo, while Mercedes gave her a strong smokey eye on Hilda's orders after she tried and failed to convince Byleth to leave her glasses off for the night. When she went shopping with Dorothea and Manuela a few days before, she begged them to let her buy a simple black dress, but they insisted she wear blue to match her eyes. Byleth’s midnight blue dress hugged her curves and was covered in hundreds of individually placed rhinestones. The effect being that it looked like she was wearing the night sky. Hilda added a large sapphire necklace and a sparkling headband and pronounced her ready. She may not have reached the level of glamour that Edelgard and Dorothea did, but Byleth felt, for the first time, that she looked pretty. Her looks weren't anything she ever gave a second thought to, so it was a strange feeling for her. 

As the girls all added their finishing touches, Hilda had one last surprise. Ignatz arrived to sketch pictures of everyone, promising a full color portrait to anyone who wanted one. Byleth noticed a newfound confidence blooming in Bernadetta and Marianne as they posed for their portraits. Byleth realized she may not have been the only person in the room who felt pretty for the first time. Bernadetta was wearing an ombre floral gown borrowed from Hilda. It went from black to white, passing through shades of purple and pink. Dorothea, knowing that Bernie's hair was usually all over the place because she pulled on it anxiously, gave her a style that was beautifully tousled just in case her hands wandered. Needing a bit more of a protective shell, Bernie also borrowed a short, black fur cape that Lysithea had decided not to wear. Marianne, like Annette, also had hair that was much longer than anyone knew. Taking it out of its braids left it in pretty waves and Hilda insisted they do nothing else to it except add a jeweled hairpin. Marianne's dress was a simple cream-colored lace sheath, but she looked undeniably elegant and actually smiled. Watching the two shy girls open up, Byleth felt a sort of sadness combined with happiness that she could not quite describe.

_“I believe the word you are looking for to describe what you are feeling is bittersweet. You’re happy to see them light up like that, but sad that you have never seen it before.”_ Sothis explained as the girls all walked to the ball together.

“I don’t understand half of the feelings I have these days, Sothis.” Byleth answered in her head. “My whole life it was like I was just floating along and suddenly there’s all these crazy highs and lows. And now you’re telling me it’s possible to feel two things at once? To feel all these things at once?” 

Sothis giggled. _"Of course! I daresay that there may be even more feelings in store for you tonight. Just wait until the little prince sees you! You look so beautiful."_ Her friend floated nearby, clapping her hands much in the way Flayn had earlier. “ _Oh, I wish I had a body of my own so I could dance as well. At the very least I get to tag along with you!”_

*** 

Dimitri had been to more than his share of balls and fancy parties in his life. He remembered having to sit up straight in his chair, a perfect prince, as the adults danced the night away. Although he far preferred the sitting to the later celebrations once he was expected to participate in the dancing. It was not that he was a bad dancer, he just did not enjoy it. Even before Duscar, he felt uncomfortable with touching, practically embracing, strangers in the name of dance. After Duscar, it was torture. Not only did he still dislike being so close to people he hardly knew, he now also had the voices of his father and Glenn mocking him for his awkward dancing and being angry with him for being at parties at all, when he should be training so he could be ready when the time came for his revenge.

If he had his way, Dimitri would have tried to get out of attending the Garreg Mach ball altogether. He wanted to go to Manuela feigning illness, but he could not shirk his duties. As class leader, it was his duty, along with the other class leaders, to start the dance. They were each to dance with the leaders of the undergraduate student houses. As they were about to start, he noticed that Claude's partner was missing.

"Claude, you seem to have misplaced your partner." He chuckled.

"She's in the infirmary if you can believe it!" Claude shook his head and laughed. "But don't worry, your Princeliness, I'll find a damsel in a dress to save me." 

Claude looked around the room for someone to dance with as Dimitri and Edelgard led their partners to the floor and began a waltz. Dimitri wondered if Claude's partner was truly sick or if she had just decided not to come to the ball, like he wanted to do. He listened to his partner chatter and nodded politely as he led her through the dance, although he could not have repeated a word she said. He had stopped paying attention as he was suddenly distracted by Claude leading his newfound partner to the floor.

The Professor. Claude was dancing with _his_ Professor. Dimitri felt his mouth go dry and a furious blush rise to his face. She was beautiful, he always thought so, but tonight she was altogether something else. Stunning, ravishing, maddeningly far away. She was grinning up at Claude, and he had his hand on her waist as they fumbled and laughed their way through the waltz that was unfamiliar to them both. Dimitri was sure that he would not let her stumble if he were the one dancing with her, and he wished his partner had been the one in the infirmary instead. He had to fight to keep a frown from forming on his face as the song ended. He vowed that he would ask the Professor to dance next. 

Before he could cross the distance to cut in, another girl asked him to dance. He turned to see that Byleth was accepting a dance from Lorenz, so he agreed. With every song that ended he would find himself with another partner before him and see that she was dancing with someone else as well. She even danced with Felix! And Seteth! He was sure that the ball would end, and he would never get the opportunity to dance with the only person he really wanted to dance with.

***

The festivities continued and Byleth felt like her feet were about to fall off. She had danced with almost everyone. She hadn't gotten a chance to dance with Dimitri yet, but every time she looked for him, he seemed to have his hands full of partners as well. She saw he was in the middle of a dance with Ingrid, so she decided to go out for some air and get off her feet for a while.

“ _Running away? I understand. You hardly had the time to breathe in there. It must be hard to be the favorite teacher at the ball! Poor, poor Professor.”_ Sothis teased her as she sat on a bench and took off her shoes.

“It is difficult.” She answered, rubbing her toes. The boots she usually wore had heels and she could march for days and fight for hours in them, but the shoes Dorothea picked out for her were punishing her feet in a new and very uncomfortable way.

 _“So, you do think you’re the favorite! I might have known.”_ Sothis giggled.

Byleth was about to answer when she heard footsteps behind her and stopped. It would be bad to be seen talking to herself. She turned to see Dimitri walking toward her. He looked gorgeous. He was wearing black pants and a black shirt, topped with a long black and blue suit jacket in an ornate fleur de lis pattern, with pretty silver button details. 

“ _Oh, how cute! The two of you match!”_ Sothis squealed as Dimitri approached and gave Byleth a short bow. “ _You are right, he does look rather dreamy.”_ Byleth begged Sothis to be quiet and the girl just cackled in response.

“Professor, may I join you?” Byleth nodded and he sat next to her. “What are you doing out here? I... was looking for you. To ask if you would dance with me.”

“She grinned at him. “I would love to. I just needed some air for a minute, and to rest my feet. One of my partners stepped on my toes a few times and my feet have been hurting ever since. A word of advice, don’t save a dance for Claude.”

“Haha, good one, Professor. I could see maybe saving a dance for Edelgard, but Claude is another story.” He smiled bashfully. “In any case, I have no intention of dancing with anyone else tonight. Other than the dance I’m saving for you, of course.”

Byleth blushed and decided it was safer to change the subject. And perhaps go for a walk instead of sitting so close together on a bench. She started to put her shoes back on. “You’re not going to dance with Edelgard? Why not?”

He chuckled. “I have done enough dancing with her to last me a lifetime. As a child, it was Edelgard that first taught me how to dance. It was...a bit awkward honestly.” 

“Speaking of awkward, I’m not ready to get back to dancing yet. Do you want to take a walk with me?” He nodded quickly and she moved to stand up. Dimitri stood and offered his hand to help her to her feet. They started walking and Dimitri kept hold of her hand. “So, Edelgard taught you to dance? How did that come about?”

“I have told you before that we’re siblings by marriage, have I not?” he asked.

Byleth nodded. “Although I’m still not sure of the details of how exactly you are related.” She thought of the conversation she had with Edelgard the night before and realized that Edelgard had said all her siblings were dead, without mentioning she had a stepbrother who was alive.

“Edelgard’s birth mother was my stepmother, although I didn’t know that at the time. My stepmother treated me with such kindness...just as though I were her own flesh and blood. And yet she never so much as mentioned that she had her own child. We were born and raised in different territories, without ever knowing the other even existed. Yet, against all odds, for just over a year, we became childhood friends.” They continued their walk through the monastery with the moon providing enough light for them to see. Everyone being at the ball caused the grounds to be practically empty except for a few knights standing guard here and there. 

“How was it that you became friends and had these awkward dance lessons if you were in different territories?” Byleth asked.

“It was during the year when she and Lord Arundel were living in the Kingdom. It was during a time of great turmoil within the Empire and they were in exile. I ran into her when visiting Lord Arundel’s residence with my father. She seemed...quite bored. With everything.” He shook his head. “At first, I found her to be difficult and stubborn, but that quickly fell away, revealing her true self beneath. That is around the time she taught me how to dance. Her instruction was...oh, let us call it... strict. To put it nicely.”

“So, she was a tyrant!” Byleth laughed. “I can just imagine that. A mean little Edelgard and an awkward little Dimitri. You must have made quite the cute pair.”

“I do not know about that, Professor. But, that one year before she had to return to the Empire was...so much fun.” He smiled wistfully. “It was one of the best times of my life, in many ways. We had a lot of great days, particularly when Sylvain, Ingrid, Felix and Glenn came around.” At the mention of Glenn, he appeared to stiffen a bit. “That was before everything happened, of course.” Byleth squeezed his hand in support. 

He cleared his throat and shook his head. “It’s kind of pathetic to think about it all these years later, but can you guess what I gave her as a parting gift?”

“A dagger?” He looked at her in surprise. She smirked. “I heard Sylvain tease you about giving a girl a dagger once.”

“Sylvain... he makes fun of me, but I swear the gift came from the heart. In Faerghus, we have long considered blades as tools of destiny. As a way to cut a path to a better future. She was being dragged all over, unable to live the life she wanted. I thought the dagger could help her cut a path to the future she wanted.” They had found themselves walking across the bridge toward the Cathedral. 

“Perhaps it’s because I really like weapons, but I think a dagger is a great gift. Knowing Edelgard, I’m sure she liked it.”

“Maybe. But that was many years ago. I am sure she has forgotten all about the boy I was back then and the times we had.” He sighed. “Every time I try to talk to her she brushes me off. I do not know if she even remembers the time we spent together. She acts as if she does not.”

“It’s not too late to reconnect, Dimirti.” They stopped walking and realized they were in front of the Goddess Tower.

“I am afraid it is far too late for that. Things are different now. She is different. I am different.” He shook his head and pointed to the tower. “Well, it looks like there is nowhere to go from here, except up.”

“Into the tower?”

He nodded. “Do you know the legend associated with the Goddess Tower, Professor?”

“I heard Hilda say something about the tower earlier, but nothing about a legend.” Byleth followed Dimitri into the tower and began the climb up the stairs, still holding on to his hand.

“Well, they say that if two people come up here on the night of the ball and make a wish, their wishes will come true.” They made it to the top and walked over to the balcony, looking down at the monastery and village below. “I wonder who came up with such a silly notion. Climbing all the way up here to make wishes, I mean.”

She finally let go of his hand so she could lean on the railing and look down. "I’m guessing you don’t believe in the legend then?” She took a deep breath of the cool night air and sighed. “Honestly, the beautiful view up here makes it worth the climb even without getting a wish granted.” 

He leaned his back on the railing and faced her instead of looking out. "It is a very lovely view.” 

Byleth laughed. “That sounds like something Sylvain would say.”

“Perhaps. But...I mean it, Professor. You...look absolutely beautiful this evening.” 

“Thank you, Dimitri. So do you, by the way. I mean...um...” In the chill of the evening, Byleth was suddenly too warm. She couldn’t stop smiling. She cleared her throat. “Don’t think you can compliment me just to get out of answering my question. The legend. Do you believe in it?”

He smiled and turned around, joining her in looking out at the scene below. “Legends are legends, nothing more. I doubt there are many who really believe wishes can be granted. The goddess just watches over us from above...That is all.” His smile fell. “No matter how hard someone begs to be saved, she would never so much as offer her hand. And even if she did, we lack the means to reach out and grasp it. That is how I feel about her." Dimitri’s jaw tightened and Byleth could tell that the now familiar sadness was taking hold of him again. She desperately wished she could tell him that she knew the goddess personally, and that if Sothis could help him, Byleth knew that she would. Instead she reached out and brushed his bangs out of his face and he visibly softened as his smile returned. 

“You know, there may be some truth to the legend, or it wouldn’t have persisted for so long. Surely some wishes had to have been granted along the way, otherwise why repeat the story?” Byleth decided that looking at him in the moonlight was too dangerous and went back to taking in the view. 

“I suppose you are right. There is no harm in passing the time with silly legends. What do you say, Professor? Care to make a wish? We are here on the night of the ball. Why don’t you try wishing for something?” He nudged her with his shoulder. 

She thought about it for a while. He had moved closer to nudge her with his shoulder, but he hadn’t moved away. They were still touching. She had not realized just how close to each other they were until that moment, and she could not help but wish that they could be even closer. She wished that they could get past the propriety of their current stations and admit how they felt about each other. She wished he would kiss her. She definitely could not give voice to any of those wishes. She shook her head. “I can’t think of one, you go first.”

“A wish of my own…” Dimitri knew what he wanted to wish for, but didn’t dare say any of it out loud. He wished for revenge. He wished for his ghosts to be at peace and leave him free to pursue what he really wanted. He wished to be with her. “I... suppose my wish is for a world in which no one would ever be unjustly taken from us. Or...something along those lines.” He nervously played with his hair.

She smiled at him. “That’s a great wish…. I’ll wish for the same.”

“That is cheating, Professor. We cannot make the same wish. You can have that one. I will think of another one.” It was the night of the ball. As she said, there had to be a reason the legend existed. What if all he had to do was say it? Dimitri swallowed. “I... well...at a time like this.... perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we will be together forever. What do you think?” He looked at her earnestly.

She couldn’t say a word. She couldn’t even think of any words. The entire concept of language was lost to her. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Did he really mean what she thought he did? She could only stare at him. His eyes widened as if he was surprised at what he had just heard, even though he was the one who said it.

“Um…” He laughed awkwardly. She wasn’t saying anything. Just when he thought he had a read on her, he was wrong again. He needed to backtrack quickly. “Well now, Professor. You... must admit I’ve improved in the art of joke telling.”

Byleth’s heart may not have ever beat, but in that moment, she swore she felt it drop. She tried to quickly put on her Ashen Demon mask to keep from her disappointment from showing on her face, but she failed. “That...didn’t sound like a joke, Dimitri.” She said softly, still not being able to look anywhere but his face. “And if it was, it was a cruel one.” She crossed her arms and waited for an answer she wasn’t sure she wanted.

He winced and sighed heavily. “I am sorry. Honestly... it was not a joke. I do not know why I said that when I meant every word.” He shook his head and looked outside. “But it was rather thoughtless of me to say such a thing all the same. I have...blurted out irresponsible things like that to my classmates this week as well. Promises that we will see each other again in five years and the like. I have no business making such promises for the future, not to anyone.” 

“Dimitri…” She didn’t understand. She could have just let it go, but it seemed as though they were finally being honest with each other. Up there in the tower, away from everyone and in the semi-darkness they were not a Professor and her student. They were just Byleth and Dimitri, two friends, even if they would never be anything more. Something about his words scared her. She knew he had that darkness, that sadness in his eyes, and she was suddenly very worried about him. She stared at the side of his face willing him to turn and look at her. She had to take the chance and ask. “Why can’t you make promises for the future, Dimitri?”

He shook his head. “There are certain things I must accomplish, even if it means risking my own life. I may not even have a future to promise to someone.” He finally turned to look at her. “Even if it is something I really want.”

“Is it?” She moved her hand along the railing so that it was touching his and hesitated slightly before resting her hand on his. “Is... this.... something you want?” He turned his hand and interlaced their fingers together before answering in a whisper.

“Yes.” Dimitri’s heart was thundering in his chest. He could not believe he had just admitted that he wanted to be with her. He took a step closer to her and raised his other hand to cup her cheek. Her face was flushed and warm even through his gloves. He had to know. “Is this...something you want as well?”

Again, she was quiet, but then she nodded. He might have missed it if he had not been holding her face. She took a small step forward and looked up at him. He could do it; she was so close. All he needed to do was move a few centimeters and he would be kissing her.

 _“Stop this at once boy!”_ His father’s voice echoed from the dark recesses of the tower. “ _This woman is a distraction and you cannot afford distractions! Already you have been here for almost a year and have found nothing that will help you to avenge us!”_

Glenn followed his father, as usual. “ _Did we die for you so you could do this? So you could waste your time courting your teacher! She most likely sees you as a meal ticket. There’s no way she could actually like you.”_ Patricia, his stepmother, was usually the quietest of the three, and that night was no exception. She said nothing, but he could feel her eyes boring holes into him, watching him with disapproval. He tried so hard to ignore them. To focus on what he was feeling, the look in her eyes. He tried to stay in the moment with her, but the walls of the goddess tower seemed to close in on him, bringing his ghosts closer. They were so close and shouting so loud that he was afraid that she would be able to hear them. He lowered his glance to her lips and Byleth held her breath. He told himself to close the distance and kiss her. He rested his forehead on hers and sighed. He could not do it.

“We should head back soon. It’s rude of me to keep you all to myself.” Dimitri made himself take a step away from her and remove his hand from her face. “I am sure that there are many who are looking for us both.”

She nodded. “You go ahead, Dimitri. I’ll be down in a bit.” She turned back to lean on the balcony railing again and heard his footsteps retreating down the stairs. She didn’t know whether to feel disappointed, which she was, or to feel relieved that they hadn’t crossed the line between them. She was only a couple of years older than he was, and he may have been royalty and she a commoner, but she was still technically in a position of power over him. Kissing him would have been the wrong thing to do. She decided to take Sothis’ advice from earlier and feel both things at once. Bittersweet.

***

Byleth walked across the monastery in the direction of the dormitories, heading for her room instead of back to the ball. She wished she had not listened to Sothis and followed Lady Rhea. Rhea's song was trapped in a loop in her mind. 

_"Please stop thinking of that song! I only grow more confused about its origin!"_

"Sorry, Sothis." She whispered aloud. "It's stuck in there. Try to go to sleep. Didn't you say you were sleepy?"

 _"Oh, trying to be rid of me, are you? What are you wanting to think about that you'd rather I not hear, hmmm? Could it be your Prince you want to think about? What was it your father called him the other day? A lovesick puppy? After that confession in the Goddess Tower, it looks as though he was right! "_ Sothis' squealing laughter echoed in Byleth's ears.

"Stop it! He's not _my_ Prince. He's my student, who happens to be a prince. And I can't think of him any other way right now, even if I wanted to."

" _But you do want to, and you do think of him that way, don't forget I hear your thoughts. You may be able to fool yourself, but you can't lie to me. You are in love with him, Byleth. I saw what almost happened in the tower."_

"I'm not in love with him. I don't even know what love is. And if you were watching you would know that nothing happened in the tower."

 _"Your arguing is tiresome. You may think nothing happened because you didn’t go through with it, but the fact that it almost happened is enough to prove me right. The sooner you face the truth the happier you will be."_ Byleth shook her head. Sothis yawned. " _Fine, be stubborn. I'm going to sleep.”_ Byleth was almost at her room, content that Sothis was finally quiet, when she spoke up again. 

“ _Oh, my! if you look just ahead it looks like you have a chance to face that truth tonight after all. But I have no faith in either of you in these matters, and I'd rather not watch you two dance around your feelings any longer tonight. Goodnight child."_

She looked around to see what Sothis was talking about and saw a very familiar silhouette walking a few feet ahead of her. Dimitri. Damnit. "Goodnight, Sothis." She said, and heard Sothis giggle, then yawn. Finally, there was silence and she was left alone with her thoughts. She could turn the other way and go back to the ball. She could still hear the music, so she knew it was still going. She could wait a few minutes and let him walk up the stairs to his room and she could go to hers without them interacting. But Sothis was right. She was stubborn, and there was something other than a kiss that she wanted from him that night. She quickened her pace a bit until she was close enough that he heard her walking behind him. She wasn’t going to sleep until she got her dance.

“Professor! I did not expect to see you.” He smiled. “When you did not return to the ball, I figured you went back to your room for the night.” He pointed at her room, just ahead of where they were standing.

“I was going to, but I walked around a little bit first. I was heading there now, but...” Before he could take his leave, she reached out and took his hand. “I’m glad I ran into you before I did. I believe you were saving a dance for me?”

He blinked. “Oh! Yes, I was. I am.” He looked back in the direction of the Reception Hall. “Would you like to go back?”

She shook her head. “We can hear the music from here.” She stepped closer to him. He smiled, raised their joined hands, and gave her a spin, bringing her back into a dance hold.

“You are a far better dancer than you let on, Dimitri.” They danced for a few moments. Byleth moved her left hand from his shoulder and released her right, which was holding his. She reached up to wrap both arms around his neck, leaning her head on his chest, and he moved both his arms around her waist. 

He laughed and she heard it rumble in his chest. “I don’t think this is a proper dance hold.” He was afraid to hurt her but took a chance and pulled her more tightly to him. 

“I never said I was a good dancer.” 

They swayed to the music, but gradually moved slower and slower, until they were barely moving at all. He rested his head on hers, and she could hear his heart beating faster. All she had to do was lift her head and his lips were right there. She could kiss him. She’d never kissed anyone before, but she was sure she could figure it out. But she shouldn’t. There were lines that she wasn’t supposed to cross, and other stupid reasons she shouldn’t kiss him. She was having trouble remembering what those reasons were. They had stopped moving altogether. Any second now, he would realize they were essentially just embracing in the middle of the courtyard in front of her room. He would pull away. All she had to do was wait and he would pull away, because she couldn’t bring herself to be the one who did it.

Dimitri’s ghosts had a habit of breaking in during the most inopportune times. But even they had limits. They had more power when he was alone in his room, or in dark cramped spaces, like the goddess tower. Out in the openness of the courtyard, under the bright moonlight, with the music from the ball in his ears, and his beloved professor in his arms, he could not hear them. 

He raised one hand from her waist, and she was sure he was going to move away from her. Instead he brought his hand to her chin, raised her head, closed his eyes, and gently pressed his lips to hers. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt as though her whole world had shifted. He took a small step back, but held on to her, his hand still cupping her cheek.

“I…” He started to apologize and stopped. He was not sorry. He wished it had happened later perhaps, and not when he had to sit in her class on Monday and pretend like nothing happened. But, despite the small amount of guilt, Dimitri mostly felt something he had not experienced in the nearly five years since Duscar – hope. He did not know for sure if it was simply his body reacting to the experience of his first kiss, but at that moment, he did not care. His expression turned serious, but his eyes were bright.

“Professor, I want you to know that after graduation, I... I intend to court you... officially. If that is acceptable to you.” 

She smiled. “I’m not sure what formal courtship entails…”

“I am not really sure myself. I have never asked.” He grinned. “I shall have to ask your father for his blessing, of course. I am not looking forward to that part, to be honest. He is a bit intimidating.”

“Oh, please. He’s a teddy bear.” Dimitri looked skeptical. “Maybe a giant grizzly bear, but he seems to like you.”

“He does?”

“He does.” She nuzzled her cheek into his hand. “He’s not the only one.” He moved to kiss her again, but she pulled away slightly. “Wait, Dimitri...I have one condition.”

“Anything. Just name it.”

“We have to wait until after your graduation. From now until then we are teacher and student, we can even be friends, but we can’t…”

He nodded and smiled sheepishly. “I understand.” He deliberately took a large step back and offered her his arm. “Will you allow me to escort you to your room, _Professor_.”

“Certainly, _Your Highness_.” He grimaced and she laughed as they walked the few steps to her door. He let her unlock it as he stood a respectful distance away. She turned back to face him. 

“Goodnight, Professor.” He gave her a deep bow.

Byleth watched as he straightened up and bit her bottom lip trying to contain her smile. They had already crossed so many lines that night. Who would know if she crossed it once more? Before he had stood to his full height again, she took a step forward, caught his face in her hands and kissed him one more time. 

He immediately wrapped his arms around her and eagerly returned the kiss. Their second kiss lasted quite a bit longer than the first. It was still rather innocent, but it managed to leave them both breathless just the same. As they each struggled to catch their breaths, he studied her face, wanting to commit this moment to his memory. 

Unsurprisingly, she recovered first and took a deep breath. “Goodnight, Dimitri.” She stepped away from him. “I’ll see you in class on Monday.” He nodded and watched as she went into her room, closing the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I have writer's block. I don't want to write this chapter. 
> 
> Also Me: 7000+ words 
> 
> Comments and kudos silence Dimitri's ghosts. Help our best boi out! Lol.


	5. A Fate is Still A Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A skirmish at the chapel the day after the ball leads to the unthinkable. Byleth does not react well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter and the next chapter were originally all one long thing, but I had to cut it because I felt like too many things happened. So here is part 1 of Byleth Grief Hours. Part 2 coming as soon as my Beta gives the thumbs up and I do final edits. Maybe later tonight or sometime tomorrow. Enjoy!

Byleth sat at a table in the dining hall early the next morning with Leonie. She expected her to be surprised when she told her about what happened with Dimitri the night before. She did not expect Leonie to get so apoplectic that she choked on a piece of fruit right in the middle of her story.

"Feel free to stop freaking out at any time, please." She said to her friend who was desperately drinking water to clear her throat. “I’d hate for you to die and ruin my great mood.”

"Sorry, sorry." Leonie managed to squeak out. "Oh, my sweet goddess! He said he wants to court you officially? Do you know what that means?"

Byleth blushed and shrugged. "He wants to be with me, I guess?” Her blush deepened and she smiled. “You're missing the main point here, he kissed me. And then I kissed him. We kissed twice!" Byleth giggled. "Wow, this is such a weird feeling."

Leonie looked at her like she was confused, but then shook her head and smiled. "Well, I'm proud of you. My little Byleth is growing up. Cheers." Leonie raised her water cup. Byleth raised her coffee mug and they clicked them together.

"I accept your toast, but I protest your wording. I'm older than you are." Byleth pointed out.

"Well, we assume you are. But we don't know for sure, do we?"

"I was the taller one when we met." Byleth took a drink of coffee.

"I'm the taller one now."

"I started my period first."

Leonie laughed. "Inconclusive. I know a girl back in Sauin who started when she was nine. You could still be younger than me and just have started early."

"We really need to ask my dad again." Byleth sighed.

"We've been asking him for over a decade, what makes you think he'll answer now?" Leonie asked. Byleth shrugged, smiling.

"You're thinking about that kiss again, aren't you?"

Byleth held up two fingers. "Both kisses." Leonie rolled her eyes as Alois rushed up to their table in a panic.

"There you are! Both of you! Either of you! Please tell me one of you has seen the Captain this morning!" Alois' voice boomed loudly.

Both girls shook their heads. Byleth looked at him questioningly. "He said he’d be back late last night but maybe he’s not back yet. What's going on, Alois?"

"There’s a chapel nearby where some younger students snuck off to. They've been set upon by a herd of demonic beasts! One of the students was able to escape and came back to tell us."

"Demonic beasts!" Leonie shouted. 

Byleth shook her head. "They don’t usually travel in herds. This could be really bad." 

Alois looked stricken. "If your father isn't here, I need to gather some other fighters and get there quickly."

"I'll go. We'll go. I'll gather as many of the Lions as I can and meet you at the gate right away." Byleth said as she and Leonie both stood. Alois thanked them and ran off, presumably to find a few more knights to help them.

They split up, Leonie planning to grab anyone she saw in the dining hall and dormitories on the way to the gates. Byleth ran for the training grounds, knowing her most capable fighters would likely be there. All in all, there were ten of them, thirteen with Alois and the three knights he had found. Leonie had collected Raphael from the dining hall and Ingrid just outside the greenhouse. Byleth found Dimitri, Felix, Dedue, and Sylvain in the training grounds as she expected. Luckily, Ashe and Bernadetta were also there doing some early target practice and they came along as well. As they walked through the marketplace towards the gates, she worried about their lack of magical support. As it was, she was the only capable healer in their group. They would need to be incredibly careful.

On their way out the gates, the group ran into Jeralt and his men, who were returning from their mission. 

‘“Captain! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Alois roared. “You were due to return late last night!”

“Well, I’m back now. Sorry for the delay, our mission took longer than expected.” Jeralt explained.

“Thank goodness you are here now! We are setting out to investigate a report of a herd of demonic beasts at the chapel.” Alois motioned in the direction of the chapel. 

“Nonsense, the chapel is inside the monastery grounds. We didn’t see anything on the way in that indicated the walls had been breached.” Jeralt shook his head. “And demonic beasts don’t travel in herds.”

“That’s what I said! That’s why we’re heading there now, to investigate. You’ll come with us, right?” Byleth asked.

“Well of course. We are both sworn to protect this place.” He scratched his head. “Demonic beasts? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I thought it was odd too!” Alois shouted. “But it’s the truth. And just before they appeared, our witness said a number of students were in the chapel.”

“Witness?” Jeralt narrowed his eyes. “What witness?”

Monica stepped forward from behind Alois. “That’s me, sir. I saw the students were acting strange. Like they weren’t in their right minds or something. And then the beasts just started appearing! One after another! So, I ran here for help.”

“Do we know if the students are safe?” Byleth asked. 

Monica shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t stay to check. I came for help first.”

Jeralt pursed his lips. “Hmmm. I don’t think there’s any way those beasts came in from the outside...but none of that matters now.” He looked around at the assembled knights and students and turned to face his own soldiers. “You lot rest up. I’ll go with the rest of you. Let’s see what this is about and get those kids out of there.”

They walked quickly toward the chapel. It was on the monastery grounds, but Garreg Mach was a large place and it would still take almost half an hour to get there. Part of her wanted to walk with Dimitri, but he was walking at the front of the group with Alois, who had discovered that Dimitri had a strange affection for bad jokes. Byleth and Leonie were near the back, with Jeralt bringing up the rear.

“Byleth, you’re staring at the back of his head.” Leonie pointed out, teasingly. 

“I’m just looking forward!” She answered defensively, even though it was true.

“Looking forward to seeing him naked.” Leonie laughed. Byleth groaned and gave Leonie a shove, which only made her laugh more.

“What are you two talking about?” Jeralt asked, falling in step next to Byleth. 

“Nothing.” Byleth answered.

“We’re talking about Byleth staring at her boyfriend.” Leonie answered.

“Traitor.” Byleth mumbled under her breath.

Jeralt stopped walking and put an arm out to stop Byleth and Leonie. “Staring at _who?_ What boyfriend, Byleth?” He crossed his arms and attempted to hold eye contact with her. He had to have noticed that she was blushing. Byleth didn’t answer and looked away, but she looked subconsciously towards Dimitri. Jeralt sighed. “Great. Alright Leonie, spill it. What happened? I was gone for less than a week. Last time I saw them they were a blushing mess around each other, and now he’s her boyfriend?”

Byleth looked at Leonie and wordlessly begged her not to say anything. But it was clear to Byleth that Leonie’s loyalties were divided as she looked between the two Eisners. 

Leonie finally smiled and looked at Jeralt. Byleth held her breath. “Well...maybe he’s not her _boyfriend_ , exactly…” Byleth exhaled, relieved. Jeralt crossed his arms. “His Highness asked your daughter to court him officially after graduation...oh, and they kissed. Twice.” Leonie blurted out.

“Leonie!” Byleth was mortified. She looked around to make sure nobody else heard, but they had fallen a bit behind the rest of the group when they stopped walking.

“Sorry Byleth, he’s scarier than you are.” Leonie shrugged as they started walking again. “Plus, he deserves to know about the courting thing.”

“That’s it, I’m not talking to either of you for the rest of this mission.” She walked just ahead of them, far enough that they would know she was mad, but close enough so could still hear their conversation behind her.

“So, courting? Officially, courting? That’s what he said?” 

“Courting officially. That’s right, Captain.”

“He didn’t even ask me for my blessing! Little shit. I’m gonna break his face.”

“That would be a great loss to humanity, sir. But especially to Byleth.” Leonie laughed. “Besides, you weren’t here for him to ask. It was very spur of the moment from what I understand.”

“Who the hell spontaneously asks to court someone?”

“The prince, apparently.”

“And she said yes?! Byleth…” Jeralt reached out and pushed her shoulder to get her attention. “You said yes?”

She threw her arms up. “Why are you both so hung up on that part?” Byleth stopped walking and spun around to face them again. “He asked to court me, not marry me. Honestly, I thought you’d care more about the kissing part.” Jeralt’s mouth dropped open. He looked from Byleth to Leonie. Leonie shook her head and smirked. Jeralt sighed heavily and turned back to Byleth.

“We’re going to have a long talk about this later, you and me.” He said, clapping her on the shoulder and rubbing her back. “A very long talk.”

Byleth crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Fine.” They started walking again.

“Hey, Captain! Speaking of things you don’t want to talk about, Byleth and I were having a debate this morning about which of us is older…”

“That’s not news, you do that all the time.” Jeralt answered.

“True. But I was thinking. You say you don’t remember how old Byleth is, but can you remember how old you were when she was born? Surely a man doesn’t forget how old he was when his only child was born?” Jeralt frowned but Leonie pushed. “If you can tell us that, and how old you are now, then we can figure out how old Byleth is!”

“That’s enough Leonie.” Jeralt answered shortly. “If I don’t know how old my child is, how do you expect me to remember how old I am?”

Leonie shook her head. “It’s not normal to forget your own age, you know. It’s kind of worrisome, actually.” Byleth nodded in agreement.

“By the time you’re forgetting your own age, you’re past the point of caring.” He shrugged. “Look, both of you, if it means that much to you... I can tell you that I met Leonie’s father when her mom was pregnant. I’m pretty sure I had baby Byleth with me at the time. I don’t remember how old she was, but she’s the older one, for sure. Now, drop it. We’re almost at the chapel and don’t need distractions.”

They caught up with the rest of the group. They could hear both the sounds of howling beasts and screaming teenagers. 

“Damn. That sounds like demonic beasts alright. Let’s go.” Jeralt looked over everyone assembled. They all readied their weapons and walked toward the entrance of the chapel’s courtyard. As they walked in, Byleth’s stomach dropped. Her class had defeated a demonic beast in battle before, but they had never seen, much less fought, four at once. She tried not to let her nerves show as she split them into two groups and the battle began. 

***

Byleth knew she shouldn't have trusted that little bitch. Edelgard had said that Monica went home! How could she have forgotten that? Byleth should've known something wasn't right when she saw that Monica was the student that came back to warn about the beasts’ attack, but she wasn't thinking. Monica had been behind this whole thing and Byleth had let it happen! No. She could stop her. She spun time back.

“Thanks for all your help, sir.” Monica said merrily and skipped around Jeralt’s side. Byleth unleashed the Sword of the Creator.

An unfamiliar mage, with pale skin and flowing lack robes, appeared and blocked Byleth’s attack on Monica. Once more, Monica’s knife dug into her father’s back and she had to watch him fall as the mage rescued Monica from her grasp and warped them both away. She had to try again. 

Time circled back; she would try a magical attack this time. Again, the mage appeared and blocked her spell. Again, Jeralt fell and Monica slipped through her fingers. No. She had to keep trying. Over and over, she turned to the magic of the divine pulse and rewound time back. Over and over, the mage appeared and prevented her attacks on Monica. Even though she never attacked from the same spot or in the same manner twice, the mage seemed to always know how to block her. She had watched her father collapse to the ground ten times. Her strength was waning, and her magical energy was all but gone, but she had to keep trying. She could not just let him die and not do everything in her power to try to stop it. She reached for the divine pulse and found it, but it was weaker than she’d ever felt it. 

“ _My child, you have used the power too many times. Even my power has a limit. There is not enough left for you to rewind, only to send you back to where you were.”_ Sothis called out to her from the throne as they stood in the space between time. “ _Byleth, I'm sorry, but you will not be able to change this. You must accept that while some things can be changed others are written in stone. If turning back time was not enough to save him, you must accept that what has come to pass is fate.”_

"This is not fate." Byleth said, shaking her head. 

_"Control yourself. Though Jeralt’s death may be at the hands of wicked ones, a fate is still a fate."_

Byleth shook with rage and she was overcome at the strange sensation of tears filling her eyes. “I will make them pay for it, Sothis. I won’t let them get away with it.”

“ _Agreed. We cannot let the wicked ones run free. But right now, you must go back and be with your father, child. While you still can.”_

Time resumed and Byleth ran forward to where Jeralt was lying on the ground. The damage was bad. She didn’t even have enough magical energy remaining to do a simple heal spell, and there were no other healers with them on the field. Stupid. Arrogant. She should have brought more healers. He was going to die and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t even ease his pain. She ripped off her cloak and applied pressure to his wound. She flipped him on his back. It would make it harder to keep steady pressure on him, but she wouldn’t let him die on his face. The tears that filled her eyes began to fall. 

“Dad?”

He looked up at her. “Sorry. It looks like I’m going to have to leave you now.” Byleth lowered herself to him and rested her head on his. She vaguely registered that there were people next to her and someone had their hand on her shoulder. She heard shouting in the distance. She couldn’t focus on anything except his eyes.

Her tears fell freely, landing on his face. He smiled.

“To think, the first time I saw you cry... your tears would be for me." He reached up and caressed her cheek, catching another tear as it fell. "It’s sad, and yet...I’m happy for it." He brushed her hair out of her face. "Thank you...kid.” 

His eyes shifted to someone behind her. "Hey now, it'll be fine. You take care of yourself, ok. Make sure to keep your promise." 

"Of course, Captain." Byleth heard Leonie’s trembling voice as she hugged her from behind. "I will." 

Byleth was shaking, from sadness, from cold. It had started to rain. She was freezing, but noticed her hands were warm. She looked down and saw that her cloak and hands were covered in blood. She was shaking so violently she could hardly keep pressure on his back anymore. She cried out and pressed back against Leonie, who hugged her tighter. She felt the hand leave her shoulder, then felt something being placed over her shivering body and looked down to see bright blue fabric. 

"And you...pretty boy." Jeralt laughed, coughed, then grimaced in quick succession. "You...you just make sure you take... good care of my girl." Jeralt closed his eyes, and it was clear that he was in pain. "Please, son. Protect her, be there... for her," He whispered. "Love her..."

The hand on her shoulder returned, tightened. "Yes, sir...I do. I will. I promise." Dimitri replied. Of course, it was Dimitri. 

"Good." Jeralt nodded slightly, opened his eyes, and turned back to Byleth. "Kid...my office...my diary. It has...answers I... should have given you... a long time ago." He was having trouble speaking. "Please... forgive me. I was...just trying... to protect you." He reached for her face again and she abandoned holding her bloody cloak to hold his hand. "I... love you... Byleth." He closed his eyes and shuddered.

"Dad!" Byleth sobbed and threw herself onto him. "I love you too." But she did not know if he heard her. He was gone.

***

There was chaos as Alois sent the knights back for a wagon to transport the Captain and Byleth, who refused to leave him. Dimitri and Leonie held her as she cried. He looked back to see that most of the other lions were gone, assisting in getting the injured and rescued students back safely. But Ashe had fallen to his knees at the scene, the pain of the memories of his own grief over Lonato too recent to ignore. Felix stood next to Ashe, not talking but patting his back as he cried, and watching the group on the ground ahead of them. Dimitri caught his eye for only a moment. Felix shook his head, pointed to Byleth, and looked away.

The Captain had said he'd never seen Byleth cry. She did nothing else on the way back to the monastery proper. She cried as Dimitri and Leonie forced her to leave her father’s side, and as they half carried her to the infirmary where Manuela diagnosed her with being in shock from a combination of grief, exposure, and overuse of magic. Dimitri mentioned that he hadn't seen Byleth use magic on the field at all, but Manuela insisted she knew the signs of an overworked mage when she saw one. Manuela gave Byleth a sedative, and she cried until the moment she fell asleep. She slept for two days, waking in fits and then going back under. Between Manuela, Dimitri, Leonie, and Felix, she was hardly ever alone, until she was.

In that one rare moment that she was left on her own, she woke up, ran out of the infirmary, and locked herself in her father’s office next door. They all tried to get her to come out, to open the door, to eat. Dimitri could hear her inside, crying, screaming as if yelling at someone, throwing things. Dedue had to force him to leave and go to bed that night. The next morning was Monday and Seteth was teaching the Lions' class. It was a long week. 

Every day he sat outside the door of the Captain's quarters listening to her rage inside. Then suddenly, on Friday, she stopped, and there was quiet. Manuela was worried she had fainted from not eating, so Dimitri was allowed to break the door open. The entire office was a mess. They found her sitting on the floor holding a leather book. She was no longer crying. She was staring at the wall, completely blank. She didn't even acknowledge that anyone had entered the room. She refused to speak to anyone. He worried about her.

They had been waiting to bury Jeralt until she came out. She stood at the graveside with the same blank expression and turned and went to her room as soon as it was over. She began to sleep through the days and roam the grounds at night, always ending up back at the graveyard. Dimitri, being an insomniac himself, followed her nightly. He brought blankets and covered her, made her go back to her room when it started to rain, tried to convince her to eat any of the food the others brought her throughout the day. 

“Professor, I was...We all were...You’ve been on our minds. I will admit; I have been so worried about you.” He said one night, as he held a spoonful of soup up to her mouth, which she reluctantly and wordlessly accepted. “But I suppose it is too soon to try and coax you into the normal swing of things.”

“As for what happened to Jeralt...I am so sorry about what happened. Of course, my sorrow is nothing compared to yours. I am mostly sorry I could not do anything to stop it.” The spoon shook in his hand, but he had to push through his own feelings for her sake. She took a few more mouthfuls, then turned away from him and lied down facing the wall. 

“Goodnight, Professor. No matter what happens or what anyone may say, know that I plan to stand by you. Through anything. Until the bitter end.” He stood up and made sure to pull her blankets snugly around her. 

He walked to her door and paused. “Stay here until you’ve found some peace, Professor. I will cover for you with Lady Rhea, and everyone else. We will be ready for you whenever you are ready to return to us.” 

She never looked at him or spoke to him in return. Two weeks passed. She was getting worse.

***

Leonie exited Byleth’s room carrying a food laden tray. Dimitri and Felix were sitting with their backs against the wooden columns in front of Byleth’s room, facing her door. They both looked up at Leonie expectantly. 

“She didn’t eat a bite of her breakfast and she still won’t talk to me. She stared at the wall and ignored me completely. I turned around to get this off her desk and when I turned back around, she had fallen asleep!” Leonie sat down in front of Felix and Dimitri, leaning on Byleth’s door. She started picking at one of the sweet buns on the untouched breakfast tray. “This is worse than when she was locked in his office. As weird as it was to hear her cry, at least she was doing something. Now it’s like there is nothing there. It’s worse than she was when I met her! She’s just an empty shell.”

“Any ideas we haven’t tried?” Felix asked.

“Why don’t you go kiss her again, Your Highness? That might fix her.” Leonie suggested.

“What?” Dimitri snapped his head toward Leonie. "How did you know about that?"

“What!” Felix snapped his head toward Dimitri and slapped him in the arm. “When the hell did you kiss her the first time?”

“That is private.” Dimitri said.

“After the ball.” Leonie answered at the same time. Dimitri narrowed his eyes at her and she shrugged. “She told me. You also proposed to her from what she said.”

“You idiot boar!” Felix hit Dimitri on the arm again. "You proposed to her?"

"Stop hitting me!"

"Stop doing stupid shit like proposing to your teacher!"

"I did not propose to her." Dimitri shook his head. "I simply asked if I could court her officially." Felix looked at him like he was stupid. It was the look he saw on his face most often. "Not until after graduation!"

"Courting officially? That’s the same fucking thing as being engaged! Even if you said not till after graduation, you basically went and betrothed yourself. You proposed to her! You're royalty, dumbass! How do you not know this?" Dimitri shrugged. Felix moved like he was going to hit him again, then crossed his arms instead. "And she said yes?" 

“Yes.” Dimitri nodded, unable to hide a small smile.

"Fucking gross." Felix muttered, rolling his eyes. 

"Courting is the same thing as being engaged.” He looked thoroughly confused. “Does that mean you are engaged to Annette?" Dimitri asked.

"No! We aren't courting, we're just together, you know, dating. And before you ask, no; dating and courting aren't the same thing. Not for nobility and definitely not for royalty." Felix was clearly exasperated. "You know there's rules for these kinds of things, right?"

Dimitri figured there were rules to follow, but he did not know what they were. He was thirteen when his father died, and his Uncle Rufus certainly never bothered to talk to him about anything. Dimitri thought about the conversations that he had with the Professor on the night of the ball. Wishing they would be together forever, asking for her father’s blessing...Goddess! He proposed to her and he did not even notice. He sat up even straighter than usual and stared at her door with wide eyes.

"Do you think she realized I proposed to her?" He asked.

"Of course not!" Leonie replied with a huff. "She's just as dense as you are. She woke me at the crack of dawn to drag me to breakfast and tell me you kissed her. If she'd realized what you were really asking her, trust me, she would have led with that." Dimitri looked stunned and Leonie and Felix shared a look and smirked. 

"So, how did you know he proposed if she didn't know?" Felix asked.

Leonie shrugged. "Because she told me what he said. I was in the same house as Lorenz. He was always going on about noble traditions. I know what 'courting officially' means. Even the Captain knew what it meant."

"She told her dad?" Felix shouted. Dimitri looked sick to his stomach.

"No, I did." Leonie continued. "Look, as much as I'd love to continue this debate about the romantic traditions of the rich and the noble, we have more important things to talk about." She crawled over and sat on her knees in front of Dimitri and shook him by both shoulders. "Listen up, Your Highness! Right now, it doesn't matter if you asked her outright or accidentally. It wouldn’t matter if you had gotten down on your knee and given her a giant ring, or even if you put a crown on her head. She isn't marrying you, or anyone else, if she refuses to speak to anyone ever again."

"Don't be so dramatic, how long could she go without talking to someone." Felix scoffed.

“Excuse me? I have known her for almost my whole life. I know her better than you do.” Leonie sat down with her back against the door again. She pointed at the door behind her. "When I first met her, I thought she was mute. I knew her for three years before she ever spoke to me, and at that point she already considered me her best friend." Leonie crossed her arms. "And once she stayed with us while her dad went on a long job to Almyra, and she was so upset that he didn’t take her with him that she didn't say a single word to anyone until he got back four months later. I’m telling you; this is serious."

"Shit." Felix shook his head. "Ok, but that was when you guys were little right?"

"No. That Almyra trip was two years ago."

"Fuck."

"Yeah." Leonie rolled her eyes. They all sat in silence for a while. Leonie suddenly sat up.

"Hey, I have an idea. It might be a bad idea, but it’s something we haven’t tried." A look of determination appeared on her face. “Everyone has been really nice to her and has treated her with kid gloves, but Captain Jeralt once told me that whenever she got all closed off and quiet with him, he would agitate her until she snapped out of it.” She smiled wistfully, her eyes filling with tears. "Well, what he actually said was 'I piss her off until she cracks', but you get the idea. We could do that!"

“Do what? Annoy her into dealing with her grief?” Felix scoffed. "You're right, that's a bad idea. No way that's going to work. "

Leonie shrugged. “We’ve tried everything else!” She shook her head, her tears finally breaking free and running down her cheeks. “I don’t know what else to do.” She whispered as she played with the wooden necklace she always wore. “The Captain was my hero, you know. He was like a second father almost. I still have my actual dad and losing Jeralt still hurts like someone punched me in the gut. But Byleth? He was more than just her dad. She and the Captain were super close. Even when she wasn’t speaking, he still understood her. Think of what it means to lose the one person who has always understood you. If I hurt this much, I can’t imagine how much she hurts.” Leonie buried her face in her hands and Felix moved over next to her and pulled her into a hug, letting her cry on his shoulder. “I hate seeing her like this. She is the closest thing I've ever had to a sister; she’s my best friend. I feel like I’ve lost them both, and that hurts worse than a punch in the face. We have to do something!” 

“What do you think, Boar?” Felix asked reluctantly.

“I don’t know, Felix.” Dimitri looked skeptical. "Making her mad might just make it worse. Maybe she just needs space."

“Maybe. But Leonie’s right. We have to do something. We can’t give her so much space that she drowns while we watch from a distance. We have to let her know we are here for her.” Felix took a deep breath. “She’s already slipping.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “If she doesn't have support, we might lose her to her grief completely.” Felix opened his eyes and looked right at him. "She might never be the same." He had a feeling that Felix was not talking only about the Professor. Dimitri clenched his jaw. 

"Look..." Felix continued, "we all know losing someone is terrible, but you can’t just give in to grief and forget about everything else. Nobody owes the dead their life! No father would want to see his child like this.” Felix scowled at him. Leonie nodded in agreement.

Dimitri scowled back at Felix. He knew for a fact now that Felix wasn't only talking about the Professor. He refused to let Felix make this about him. Dimitri knew what his dead were owed. He knew exactly what his father wanted; his ghost told him nightly. He hoped that Jeralt would be kinder to the Professor if he appeared to her. He hoped she could still be saved. He did not want her to end up like him.

Dimitri nodded. “Fine. We will do whatever it takes. I do not want to see her suffer like this.” 

Leonie was given the go-ahead to try to make Byleth crack. She left Dimitri and Felix guarding her door and came back with Hilda and Edelgard in tow a short while later. Edelgard was carrying a basket filled with food.

"Ok, almost ready." Leonie entered Byleth’s room, only to come out no more than a minute later holding the Sword of the Creator and Byleth’s other swords and dagger.

"What are you doing?" Felix asked as she put the weapons down in a pile next to him.

Leonie put her hands on her hips and took a deep breath. "I have a feeling that if this works, it won't be pretty. I'd rather she not attack anyone." She looked around at them all. “Ready? We’re going to do this in stages. Edelgard, you’re up first.” 

Dimitri looked at Edelgard questioningly. Edelgard lifted the basket to her hip. “One order of lunch, with a side of tough love.” She looked at Leonie. “I hope you’re right about this.” 

Edelgard turned to open Byleth’s door. Dimitri took a quick peek inside before the door closed and saw that Byleth was lying curled up on her side. Even though he was not fond of the plan itself, he hoped it would work. He found himself praying for the first time in years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. 
> 
> RIP Papa Jeralt. I will miss writing you because you are super fun. Maybe I'll write that one shot of Father-Daughter breakfasts after all. Would anyone read that?
> 
> Comments and Kudos appreciated as always.


	6. The Crumbling Fortress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard, Hilda, and Leonie try out Captain Jeralt's plan. A fortress falls. Byleth finally grieves with a lot of help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late, but as promised Byleth Grief Hours, Part 2, or basically my reimagining of the conversations with the two people who annoyed me the most after Jeralt died in game, as well as Leonie's ill-timed B support.
> 
> TW for lots of angst and suicidal thoughts. Take care of yourselves out there!

Byleth lay on her bed facing the wall. She could hear chatter outside her door but could not discern who the voices belonged to or what they were saying. She didn’t care. She wished they would all leave her alone. She heard her doorknob turn and stiffened. She exhaled slowly and shut herself down even tighter. _Control your breathing, close your mouth, don’t engage with anyone, don’t feel anything_ , she repeated to herself. She was shut down so tightly that even Sothis could not reach her. She was a fortress nobody could breach. She heard the footsteps of someone enter her room. Small, light, female feet. Mercedes or Annette trying to bring her more sweets or fawn over her, soothe her, and attempt to get her to feel better. She didn’t want to feel better. She didn’t want to feel anything. Byleth saw strands of white hair enter her field of vision as lavender eyes assessed her coolly. Edelgard was leaning over her. Byleth blinked at her.

“Professor, you’ve been crying.” Edelgard said matter-of-factly as her eyes scanned Byleth’s face. “So even you cry sometimes…” Edelgard continued to study her impassively, as if she were looking at a book. An uninteresting book at that. “Oh, I suppose that was thoughtless of me to say.” 

Byleth agreed that it was thoughtless. Rude, actually. But she did nothing except blink slowly in response. 

“My teacher, you’re so blinded by grief that you can’t see what’s going on right in front of you.” Edelgard shook her head, turned away and busied herself arranging the food on Byleth’s desk. Byleth turned so she was on her back, staring at the ceiling, but where she could see the girl in her peripheral vision. “Are you waiting for time to heal your wounds?” Edelgard turned to face her and placed her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow at her. “Or have you curled up in a corner and lost the will to carry on?”

Byleth didn’t understand how Edelgard could say something like that to her. When she had confided in her about losing all her siblings, Byleth was comforting, she was supportive. She felt something stir inside herself, a tiny crack in the foundation of her fortress. She opened her mouth. “That’s a rude and pointless question. Why would you ask that?” she asked flatly, confused, and hurt but betraying nothing in either tone or expression, her voice hoarse from disuse.

Edelgard raised a quizzical eyebrow at her. “It’s not like you to speak to me like that. You know I’d never ask you a question without a purpose.” Edelgard crossed her arms and leveled a look of annoyance at her. “Only you can understand your own sadness, Professor. Others can sympathize or empathize, but all anyone can offer are the tears of an outsider looking in, and that’s pointless. So, I have no intention of crying with you, or for you. Or of standing still with you.” 

Byleth sat up and diverted her gaze from Edelgard to the blankets on her bed, picking at the loose threads. Her hands were shaking. She didn’t need anyone to cry for her. She didn’t want anyone to stand with her, still or otherwise. She didn’t need anyone. She felt the sudden need for Edelgard to know that. She kept her eyes on her hands; they were still shaking. She pulled them into fists. She repeated her new mantra in her head: _Breathe, shut down, don’t feel anything_. She made sure to keep her voice steady and unemotional, breaking her rule to not engage. “I don’t need you to do either of those things. I don’t need anyone to do anything with me, or for me.” She said calmly. She opened her hands. Steady. Rock solid. She finally looked up, directly and unflinchingly into Edelgard’s eyes. “I don’t need anyone, period.”

Something stirred in Edelgard’s eyes and she looked at her with open curiosity. “Well, all I can do is reach out my hand when the time comes for me to move forward. I hope you decide to take it, my teacher.”

“And what does that mean? Or do you just enjoy speaking in riddles?” Byleth asked. Not really caring about the answer, she lay back down and continued staring at her ceiling. 

“Nothing you need to know yet.” Edelgard pointed to the desk. “Eat, or don’t. My teacher, there is a choice to be made soon. I hope you make the right one.” She turned on her heel and walked out of the room, not waiting for Byleth's response, which was good since she wasn't interested in giving her one. Byleth wondered what choice she was talking about. She had a feeling it about was more than just her decision whether to eat or not. She wondered if she should be curious. She decided not to be. Curiosity led to investigating chapels and failing to save her father. Curiosity led to reading her father’s diary and finding answers she thought she wanted, but she didn’t. Byleth had no use for curiosity anymore.

***

Edelgard exited Byleth’s room, closed the door, and shook her entire body like one of the dogs around the monastery after they got caught in the rain. “That was incredibly awkward.”

Felix sat up. “Did it work?” They all looked expectantly at her. 

“I’m not sure. At first, I thought it did. I said something mean and she sat up and called me rude, but then I lost her somehow and she got even colder than before. She’s kind of scary.” Edelgard crossed her arms.

“What did you say to her?” Dimitri demanded. He still didn’t think it was a good idea to make Byleth angry on purpose. He would feel terrible if they hurt her feelings on top of what she was going through.

“That part isn’t important.” Leonie waved off Edelgard’s response. “She actually talked to you? Even if she was cold and scary. That’s progress!” She smiled and nodded. “It’s gonna work. We’re going to get her back.”

“Good, better sooner than later” Edelgard said. “The mysterious organization that was carrying out experiments in Remire Village and the chapel, they’re up to something near here. Rhea has sent the knights to investigate. I expect they will be apprehended soon.”

"How do you know that?" Felix asked.

Edelgard shrugged. "I have my sources."

“She said you were rude, huh? I can make my part very rude!” Hilda brightened.” Is it my turn, yet?” 

“Not yet. Give her a couple of minutes and then go in.” Leonie answered. “Remember what we talked about.” Hilda winked at her.

Dimitri scowled. He did not like the sound of what was to come.

***

Byleth continued to stare at her ceiling, but found it held her attention less than before. She could smell the scents of many of her favorite foods coming from her desk. They kept bringing her food, but she had no appetite. The only small bites of food she had eaten since she found her dad’s diary and moved from his office to her room two weeks ago, were the ones that Dimitri essentially forced her to eat when he walked her from the graveyard to her room each night. It was his fault she was still alive, and she resented him for it. He was so damned caring, and she couldn’t say no to him when he pleaded with her to come in from the rain and eat something. 

She should’ve picked the Black Eagle house. If Edelgard was her house leader, she’d ignore her and let her freeze or starve to death the way Dimitri refused to let her do. Byleth closed her eyes.

 _“I disagree. I think the Blue Lions were the right choice.”_ Her eyes flew open. Sothis! Byleth had not heard her voice since she was in her father’s office. “ _I can’t help but agree with your assessment of Edelgard, however. She really is quite arrogant. She spoke her mind without a hint of reservation!”_

Sothis materialized in front of Byleth’s desk. _“But she is right about one thing, the time has come to stand again. You already know what your answer is.”_

“I should eat.” Byleth sighed. “Unless I want to die.

 _“Yes, you should eat, unless you want to die.”_ Sothis nodded.

“I do want to die.” Byleth said, sounding bored. She closed her eyes again.

“ _No_ , _you don’t!”_ Sothis shook her head. “ _And I don’t appreciate your tone_.”

Byleth opened one eye and glared at Sothis. “I have no tone. Tones require emotions and I’m done with those.” She closed her eye and pulled her blanket to her chin. “Besides, you’re just trying to get me to eat because you’re tied to me. If I die, you die. That’s not my fault. If you don't like it, go yell at Rhea.” She opened her eyes again to see Sothis glaring at her. “Trying to convince me to live is selfish of you, Sothis.”

 _“Oh, and you dying to spite me? Is that not also rather selfish of you?”_ Sothis asked. “ _You want to kill me so badly?”_

Byleth sat up. The tiny crack in her foundation grew just a fraction. “I’m not trying to kill you, Sothis.” She said softly and sighed. “I’m just... sad.” She admitted. “And lost.”

Sothis nodded. “ _And hungry?”_

Byleth looked at the food on her desk again. She stood and picked up a piece of Derdriu-Style Fried Pheasant. “I guess I am a little hungry.” As she took her first bite, her door opened again and Hilda sauntered in.

“Professor!” Hilda shouted cheerfully. “You look great! Everyone has been worried about you, but not me. I knew you were holding up ok.”

Byleth wasn’t sure how to respond to that. So, she didn’t. She took another bite of her chicken.

“You have all kinds of goodies here! Ooh! Can I have your two-fish sauté? It’s my favorite!” Hilda didn’t wait for an answer and picked up a piece with her fingers. “I’m famished, I haven’t eaten in like...hours!” Hilda licked her fingers.

Hours. She hadn’t eaten in hours. Byleth had hardly eaten in weeks, and here Hilda was stealing her food. Eating it with her fingers no less. She tried not to show her annoyance. “Take it. There should be a fork around here somewhere... and a napkin.” Byleth said pointedly.

Hilda picked up another piece with her fingers. “Nah, gotta watch my figure, you know. You can have the rest.” Hilda teasingly gestured at Byleth’s hips. “Or maybe you shouldn’t. Too much butter goes right to your hips, and I think you’re good there. You can’t really fit much more in those short shorts of yours.”

The crack spread from the foundation of her fortress to the walls. “Gee, thanks.” Byleth said flatly. Why was Hilda even there? Just to steal her food and call her fat? Where were her weapons? She looked around her room and didn’t see them. She sighed. “What can I do for you Hilda.”

“Well...I do need help cleaning my room if you’re offering!” Byleth narrowed her eyes. “Ok, never mind, grumpy.” Hilda giggled and then turned serious. “Actually, I’m here because I’m really worried about Leonie. You’re her Professor, and supposedly her friend, so it’s your job as both to help her. You’re neglecting both jobs, by the way.”

Byleth’s facade broke slightly and she frowned. None of her Lions seemed to mind that she was talking time for herself, and Leonie was in her room earlier that day and she seemed fine. She picked up a Gronder Meat Skewer and pulled a piece of meat off with her teeth roughly. “And what exactly do you think is going on with Leonie, Hilda?” 

“Oh, it’s just... _she_ really loved Jeralt. And she’s been so sad since he died. Since you seem like you’re doing fine, maybe you can help her?” Hilda shrugged with a smile. 

Byleth struggled to swallow the piece of meat in her mouth. “You want me... to comfort Leonie... about the fact that my dad died?” She asked sarcastically. Hilda nodded enthusiastically. Byleth looked at the pointy end of the skewer as she ate another piece of meat and wondered if you could kill someone with it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Sure, Hilda. Anything else?”

“No, that’s it for now, Professor. Yay! I hope she can bounce back.” Hilda clapped her hands loudly. Byleth winced. With enough pressure applied and hit in the right place, she was sure the skewer could be lethal. 

“Awesome, I’ll send her to come see you!” Hilda smiled. 

Byleth pulled off the last piece of meat and turned the skewer in her hand to hold it like a stake. She looked at the point and then back at Hilda. “You do that.”

“Ok...byeeee, Professor!” Hilda said cheerfully as she rushed out the door.

***

Hilda slammed the door behind her and pointed to it. “Holy Seiros! She totally threatened me!”

“We have all her weapons.” Felix gestured to the pile.

“With an empty meat skewer!” Hilda made a fist and made a stabbing motion with it.

“Empty?” Dimitri asked.

“She’s eating?” Leonie asked.

“Yeah! While I was in there, she very angrily ate a whole piece of fried pheasant and a whole meat skewer!” Hilda smiled. “She got really mad when I stole a piece of her fish sauté. Thanks for putting that in there for me, Leonie.” Hilda laughed. “I ate it with my fingers!”

“Nice touch.” Leonie nodded.

Dimitri and Edelgard looked confused, but Felix nodded too.

“Are we missing something?” Edelgard asked.

“Oh, Byleth is super territorial about her food. She always has been.” Leonie explained.

“Yeah, if you want to keep your fingers, don’t attempt to share her food unless she offers.” Felix agreed. “And she never offers. Byleth doesn’t share food.”

“Yup. She definitely wanted to kill me.” Hilda plopped down next to Felix. “Anyway! I totally set you up, Leonie. You just need to go in there and finish it.” 

Leonie nodded. “Wish me luck. Remember, no matter what you hear, don’t go in there until I come out and say it’s ok to come in.”

They all nodded. Dimitri thought back to the dinner he had with the Professor on his birthday, and the way she shared her fried potatoes with him. He smiled and hoped Leonie could break through to her.

***

The absolute nerve of some people. Byleth took the plate of tainted fish sauté and moved it away from the rest of her food as she sat at her desk and ate a bowl of cheesy Verona stew. Touching her food and saying she had a big butt were one thing, but how dare she imply that Leonie was more upset about her dad dying than she was. “ _She_ really loved him.” Byleth said in a mocking imitation of Hilda. As though Byleth didn’t love him, somehow. Even though she was sure he hadn’t heard her the last time she said it. Sothis materialized in her favorite corner of the room.

“ _Byleth, your father knew you loved him, whether he heard it that day or not.”_ Sothis shook her head. _“But I agree with you. It was wrong for Hilda to say that Leonie is hurting more than you are. You have the right to be angry.”_

“Good, because I am angry.” Byleth replied. She didn’t want to feel the anger; she reminded herself. Now that she was feeling it, she had to admit the anger felt good, almost. She had already broken two of her new rules. She had engaged with people, and now she was feeling things. _Breathe...shut down._ She repeated to herself. She took a deep breath in. Before she could let it out and shut down again, her door opened for a third time and Leonie walked in. 

“Hey, Byleth. Hilda said you wanted to see me?” Leonie closed the door and sat on Byleth’s empty bed.

Byleth exhaled loudly. “I guess so, yeah.” She was silent for a moment as Leonie waited expectantly. Byleth shook her head. “Honestly, no I didn't want to see you. Hilda kind of snapped at me, said a bunch or rude shit, and touched my food. She insisted that I see you.”

“Oh. I’m sorry she snapped at you. And that she was rude to you. She should've known better than to offend you.”

“I wasn’t _offended_.” Byleth bristled. She hated when people were easily offended. One of the problems she'd always had with being so blunt and sarcastic was that she often accidentally offended people. Leonie knew that.

“Hah. I thought you might say that. In that way you’re just like Captain Jeralt was. You accept other people. You don’t let petty details get under your skin. You don't hold grudges." Leonie smiled sweetly at her.

That may have described her dad perfectly, but it didn't describe Byleth very well at all. Until she came to the monastery, Byleth distrusted most people and she was a champion grudge holder. And Leonie herself had often called her out on how focused she could be on petty details. “You clearly don't know me as well as you think.”

Byleth thought about the fact that her dad started a fire in the monastery, kidnapped her, never mentioned his life as a knight of Seiros, and never trusted Lady Rhea again. It turned out he was actually surprisingly good at holding grudges. Byleth smirked at Leonie. "Or maybe, you didn't know him as well as you thought." Byleth certainly didn't. 

“Maybe not. But I do know you." Leonie reclined on Byleth’s bed. "And I knew him well enough. He did always call me his first and best apprentice, after all." Byleth had to try extremely hard not to roll her eyes, but she said nothing.

"Yup. Ever since that time five years ago when I got to go with him to stop those poachers. I'm not sure why you weren’t there, but it was an amazing experience." Leonie recalled.

Byleth narrowed her eyes at her erstwhile best friend. What was she playing at? She knew exactly why Byleth wasn't on that mission with them. She wouldn’t stoop to reminding her.

“Well whatever _you_ were doing that day that you deemed more important, _we_ basically saved the village! That's the day I told him I was going to be his apprentice. And he agreed to train me alongside you. He said he’d never had an apprentice before, so I was the first and best.” Byleth pulled her hands into fists. She had always hated that stupid nickname, even before she realized was jealousy was. Byleth was the one who he taught to use a sword as soon as she could walk. If anyone was his _real_ first apprentice, it was her, not Leonie. The cracks on the walls of her fortress spread further. She felt her anger rise, but kept her mouth shut.

“And I’ve only made it this far thanks to him. Well, and a lot of hard work all on my own, of course." 

Byleth crossed her arms. "Of course."

"That's right! I've never been handed anything. Not like you, I mean. You walk in this place and get made a Professor, just like that! You don’t even appreciate how effortless that was." Byleth’s eyes snapped up and she glared at her. Leonie knew that the circumstances around Lady Rhea’s job offer bothered her. She tightened her fists and her walls started to crumble. It bothered her even more now that she knew the real reason why.

"And the Captain? Most of the time you acted like you didn’t appreciate _him_ at all!" Leonie shook her head. "Like you didn’t realize how lucky you were to have him around your whole life. You never really hugged him, you rarely even told him you loved him." Byleth took a step towards the bed. She could understand lashing out in grief, but Leonie was going too far.

Leonie stood to meet her, looking down slightly. "Ugh, it still really bothers me. At least he never had to question how I felt about him. You might have been his kid, but I’m still his first and best apprentice, got it!" Leonie poked Byleth in the shoulder with her finger.

From the impact of her finger, tiny fissures broke out all over the already crumbling walls of the fortress Byleth had built to shield herself from her feelings, and the entire thing came crashing down. 

In one quick moment, she screamed and shoved Leonie back onto the bed and turned to grab an empty plate from her desk and hurled it at her head. It broke with a crash right above Leonie’s head as she yelped and ducked. Byleth turned back to the desk and grabbed her meat skewer and pointed it at Leonie.

"Ok, first of all, he called you that because you were his only apprentice! Because Knights don't have apprentices, they have squires. He called you his best apprentice like he called me his favorite daughter! It was a fucking joke!" She threw the skewer at Leonie, but she was quick and was able to deflect it.

"There’s my girl!" Leonie shouted. “What else?”

Byleth responded by throwing another plate, this one with food on it. It also crashed on the wall as Leonie avoided it. Leftover two-fish sauté ran down the wall. "Second, you know exactly where I was the day you guys fought those poachers. That was the day after I hurt my knee. The stupid healers wouldn't let me walk on it for a week. You know I wanted to be there."

Leonie stood up. "Your knee was shattered! That guy hit you with a mace!"

"I would've been fine!" Byleth pushed her back down. "Sit down, I'm not finished yelling at you!"

"Oh? You have more to say? Come on, give me all you've got! Are you going to throw more plates?" Leonie asked sarcastically. In response, Byleth threw her chair at the door where a leg broke off. Leonie whooped excitedly.

"Shut up!” She yelled. “Third, this job was _absolutely_ handed to me, and you know how much I hate that!” She struggled to catch her breath. “And for your information, I did appreciate my dad, every single day, and he did know that." Byleth started to cry and wobbled on her feet. "But you’re right, I didn't tell him I loved him enough. I didn’t even get to tell him I loved him before he died!” Byleth’s tears streamed down her face and she was shaking, her knees threatening to give out and send her tumbling to the floor. “And I miss him so much I kind of want to die too."

Leonie leapt up and pulled Byleth into a hug. "No... No, don't you dare die on me." Byleth tried half-heartedly to pull out of the hug. "Stop resisting, dummy." Leonie dragged Byleth to sit on her bed but kept her in the hug. “Come here, you."

Leonie tackled Byleth so they were both lying down. Byleth curled into Leonie’s side and sniffed. 

"I love you Byleth." Leonie squeezed her. "Please don't stop talking to me again."

"If you love me so much, why were you saying all those horrible things to me?" Byleth whispered, her tears falling freely.

"I'm so sorry. I was trying to make you mad on purpose. I said everything I could think of that would get you angry so you would talk to me. And for the record, it worked."

“So... you don’t believe those things you said?”

“Of course not!” Leonie scoffed. “Anyway, it was your dad's idea.” 

"My dad's idea?" Byleth looked at Leonie.

Leonie nodded. "Do you remember that time you stayed with us while he was in Almyra and you didn’t talk for four months?"

Byleth smirked through her tears. "Vaguely."

"Well after he got back, he told me his secret to getting you to talk when you didn't want to. He said ‘all you have to do is piss her off until she cracks’. I've never had a reason to use that advice until now." Leonie leaned on Byleth’s shoulder. "He was totally right though. It's like you have an angry little gremlin who lives in your head that just can't handle keeping its mouth shut when you're angry." Leonie tapped on Byleth’s forehead. 

Byleth laughed. If only Leonie knew how right she was. 

_"Angry little gremlin!"_ Sothis grumbled from the corner. " _I'll show her an angry little gremlin!"_

Byleth cried and laughed at the same time. "What’s happening to me?" Sothis had told her it was possible to feel happy and sad at the same time, but she didn’t know it was possible to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Well, my best guess is, you built up quite a defense mechanism when you got overwhelmed by your emotions. So, you repressed them.” Leonie continued rubbing Byleth’s head. Her hair was a mess. “You told me you didn't have emotions before recently. I guess there's a difference between not having emotions and repressing them. You can't stop a river once the dam is broken. Those feelings exist and they had to come out sooner or later, you can’t just ignore them. Although I must commend you for the effort. You really did try.…. I think once we put a little pressure on you though, you just exploded.”

Byleth sniffed and sat up. She took a deep breath. She hated to admit that Leonie was right. Once she let everything out, she felt a lot better. Not fixed, but better. "How do you know about all of that? Defense mechanisms and repressing emotions?”

Leonie sat up and shrugged. "What? I read." Byleth looked at her curiously. "Ok, you got me. I was just repeating what Manuela said." They both laughed. 

Leonie pulled Byleth to a standing position. "So, are you ready to come back to us?"

"Us?"

"Oh yeah! There’s a pretty big group of people outside your door waiting to see if this works. There's Edelgard and Hilda, of course. Who, by the way, you cannot hold grudges against because they were only mean to you on my orders..."

Byleth pursued her lips. "Edelgard, fine. But Hilda touched my food. And she basically said I have a big butt."

"Ok, but you do!" Leonie smacked Byleth on her ass. 

Ow! It’s still mean." Byleth scoffed and rubbed her bottom where Leonie hit her, but she couldn’t suppress her grin.

"Anyway, so we have Edelgard, Hilda, Felix, and...Dimitri " Leonie wiggled her eyebrows at her.

"Dimitri." Byleth shook her head and sighed. "He’s been so amazing to me and I’ve been an ass.”

“Yeah, but as your fiancé, he has to stick by you.” Leonie teased.

“As my...what?” Byleth asked.

“Never mind, we can have that talk later. Are you ready to greet your adoring public?”

Byleth looked down at herself. She had been wearing the same nightgown she had on in the infirmary. She thought about how Leonie’s fingers kept getting tangled in her hair as she tried to comfort her. She didn’t want to see anyone like that. “Um...Can you tell everyone I'm ok, but I just need a little more time? Honestly, I think I really need to take a bath before I see anyone.”

"I can do that." Leonie walked to the door and moved the thrown chair out of the way. "But only because you really, really do need a bath." Byleth smirked at Leonie as she laughed and walked out.

 _"The little ones are good friends to you, Byleth. I’m happy you have them. Even if that one did call me a gremlin."_ Byleth couldn’t help but agree.

***

Leonie walked out of Byleth’s room with a smile.

"Did it work?" Dimitri, Edelgard, and Hilda all said in unison.

"What the hell were you guys doing in there?" Felix shouted.

"I heard loud crashes against my wall. And yelling. Is everyone alright?" Dedue had joined them.

Leonie laughed. "It worked. But she needs a little bit of time before she comes out and sees anybody, so everyone scatter and give her a little space.” 

They all started to walk away and Dedue went back into his room. Dimitri lingered. Leonie stood in front of Byleth’s door. “Everyone means you too, Your Highness.” She made a motion with her hands to shoo him away. Dimitri frowned. “She’ll talk to you. Just, not right this minute, ok?” Dimitri walked away reluctantly. He was going to trust Leonie. He had told Byleth that he would be there for her when she was ready to return to him...to them. If she was not ready, he was not going to push her. He was simply happy that it seemed like she was on her way to getting back to her old self.

***

Dimitri may have been hopeful for her recovery, but he planned on taking a blanket with him when we went for his nightly walk just in case he came across her. As he walked past the silent Cathedral and looked down into the graveyard, he spotted a familiar figure sitting in front of one the gravestones. She was there. He didn’t know if he should be happy to see her, or worried that she was still being drawn to that place. He walked down the stairs and was about to clear his throat to let her know he was there, so he would not startle her, when she spoke. 

“Hello, Dimitri.”

“Professor! How did you know I was here?” Dimitri walked up to her. She looked up and patted the ground next to her, inviting him to sit. He did. He put the blanket around her shoulders out of habit. She had changed into her tank top and shorts. She looked a lot better.

“I was actually waiting for you, so I was on alert.” She looked at him. It was the first time in weeks that she looked at him and he saw warmth behind her eyes. How he had missed it. 

“You were waiting for me?”

She nodded. “I wanted to thank you...for taking care of me these past couple of weeks. It couldn’t have been easy.”

“I did not mind. I may not know how you feel, but I do know what you are going through. Four years ago, in Duscar, I experienced a similar pain to the pain you are feeling now. My father...was the strongest man I knew. Someone I loved and admired deeply. That day, he was killed before my eyes. His head severed clean off.” Dimitri tightened his jaw and blinked back tears.

She moved closer to him and wrapped the blanket around him as well, so that they were both huddled close together beneath it. It had started to rain lightly. She looked at him expectantly and he took that as a sign to continue. It was difficult, as he had not opened up to anyone about what happened in Duscar since it happened, and even then, most people did not listen to him. They only placated him, and decided he needed space. Felix was right, he had not needed as much space as he had been given. He needed support, but there was nobody there except Dedue, and he was going through his own grief. 

“My stepmother, the kindest person I had ever known, left me behind and disappeared into the infernal flames. Everyone who I considered precious...my family and my closest friends...I could not save any of them. Not a single one.” Dimitri frowned.

“You were so young, Dimitri. There was nothing you could have done against an ambush like that.” She moved his hair out of this face. He nodded. 

“I know that now. But the burden of the work they left behind falls on me. I must ensure they have no regrets. That is my duty, as the sole survivor of the tragedy. It is a heavy burden, but accepting it gave me strength to pick myself up off the ground and start moving again. Start living again.” He reached for her hand and held it. 

“That is what I hope for you, Professor. That you remember that no matter how sad you are, your tears will dry up. That will be when you have to figure out what it is you’re living for. Then you can cling to that with all your might and start moving forward again.”

“What I’m living for?” Byleth had never considered that she should have a reason for living, it was just something she did. She realized that with her dad gone, she had no direction. “I don’t know what could be. My entire life, I’ve always just followed where my dad led, lived for what he lived for. With him gone...” She shook her head. It was no wonder she felt lost.

“Jeralt is gone...so what will you do now, professor? What is something you feel you must do?” He reached up and cupped her cheek, looking into her eyes profoundly. “Look deep into your heart and I am sure you will find the answer there...indelible and inescapable.”

“What if what I want is to find Monica and ring her scrawny neck?” Byleth asked quietly, holding his gaze. She had thought it many times, but it was the first time she had said it out loud. 

“If you desire revenge, professor…. you can count me in. Know that your enemies are my enemies. I will do all I can to help you find justice.” He hesitated. “Even now, the knights are conducting a full-scale search for the enemy. It may not be right away, but before long they will find their trail.” Byleth raised her eyebrows. “When they are caught, I will be there beside you. There is no one else I can...My strength is yours alone. I will fight as you command...I will kill anyone should you ask it of me.”

It was a strange thing to say, but it brought her more comfort than she could have ever explained. She nodded. “Thank you, Dimitri.”

“All of that being said, I do not believe it is a sign of strength to just keep moving forward no matter what. Taking the time to grieve those we have lost...there is strength in that too. That is what I think anyway. 

“Not me; I hate this. I think grief is stupid.” Byleth said bitterly, leaning against his shoulder as she pulled the blanket around herself.

“You know... it is human to grieve.” He replied.

“What if I’m not?” She sat up and looked down at her lap.

“If you aren’t grieving...?”

“Human.” She didn’t know what she was. A demon. A ghost. Some undead creation of Rhea’s. Did she really want to tell him about this? It didn’t matter, the words spilled out. “What if I’m not human.”

"What do you mean? Of course, you are human."

“No. I might not be. I don’t know. I... don’t. Here...” She reached for his hand and placed his palm on her chest. His eyes widened and he blushed and tried to pull it away. She shook her head and shushed him, holding his hand in place. “Close your eyes. Listen....feel…” She sat very still, and Dimitri closed his eyes. After a few seconds, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. After a full minute, she removed her hands from on top of his. “You can’t feel anything, can you?” 

He opened his eyes, looking first to his hand, which was still on her chest, then looking up to meet her eyes. He shook his head. “No, I cannot.”

“You can feel as long as you want, and it won’t change. My heart isn’t beating. It never has.”

“How can that be?”

“For years, I never knew people had heartbeats, having never felt my own. Once I found out, my dad told me it has been that way since I was born, and I just accepted it. I thought it was just a condition I had, that there must be others who also had it. I thought he had no reason to lie to me. Believe it or not, I never questioned it until I came here. When I took the job, Manuela gave me a full physical, it was the first I ever had.” 

His hand finally dropped from her chest and he held her hand instead. “You had never seen a doctor?”

Byleth tapped on the frame of her glasses. “Only for my eyes. Our company always had healers for when we got injured and I have never been sick. I understand now why my dad kept me away from doctors. Manuela’s shock at my condition was enough to tell me that. She and Hanneman determined that it must have something to do with my crest, that it just makes my heartbeat hard to hear or detect. But I knew that wasn’t it.” She wiped the moisture from her cheeks. She thought it was the rain at first; she had not realized that she was crying. “I asked my dad afterwards and he was evasive. He said he would tell me later, always later. Eventually, I stopped asking. I figured he would tell me when he was ready. When he was…” Her voice shook. “When he was dying... and he mentioned his diary…. He said it would have the answers to all my questions. It didn’t. Every answer I get only leads to more questions.” 

She pulled Jeralt’s diary from beneath her robes and showed it to Dimitri. “That day we fought off those bandits and came here, it wasn’t actually my first time in Garreg Mach, like I thought it was, like he told me it was. I was born here.” She looked up at him and saw confusion in his eyes. She nodded and crossed her arms, hugging herself tightly, not bothering to wipe her tears anymore. The rain had picked up and was falling slowly but steadily. Between the rain and her crying, drops of water were pooling on both sides of her glasses and she could hardly see, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. "Oh, and my birthday isn't when I thought it was, so he lied about that too. And I can't even be mad at him for lying to me, because...he's gone."

Byleth cast a small faith spell for light and pulled the diary open under the blanket to shield it from the rain. Inside was a folded piece of paper. She unfolded it and showed it to Dimitri. It was a sketch of a younger Jeralt handing a bouquet to a woman who looked just like Byleth, with the Cathedral in the background. “When my dad was Captain of the Knights of Seiros the first time, he fell in love with a nun who lived here. A nun who happened to be Lady Rhea’s daughter. My mother. She died...the day I was born.” Byleth moved her hand so the light illuminated the gravestone in front of them. “Her name was Sitri. I never even knew her name until we came here, and I read it on her tombstone, and she died to save me.” The light went out as Byleth placed her hand over her silent heart. Dimitri took her other hand and squeezed it in support. “My mom and Rhea did something to me, because... when I was born, my heart wasn’t beating. I was stillborn. Whatever they did, and I don’t know what that was, it brought me back and killed her. My dad basically kidnapped me and ran; we never came back until now.”

“You…” Dimitri did not know what to react to first. There was so much information he was trying to process it all. She was born at the monastery. Her father fell in love with a nun. She had been stillborn. Her heart didn't beat. She was - “Wait...that means Lady Rhea is your…”

Byleth nodded. “She is my grandmother. And she never told me. My dad never told me. They had so many opportunities, but neither of them ever said a word.” Byleth’s tears turned from sad ones to hot angry ones. “Even when my dad first brought me here and showed me my mother’s grave, I asked him why my mom was buried here, and he could have told me the truth then, but he didn't.” She shook her head and sniffed loudly. “When Rhea offered me this job, I asked her why, and she said she sensed something special in me instead of telling me the truth.” She was shaking uncontrollably, whether from cold or from anger she would not tell. 

“Months. Dimitri, I have been living here for months. I had breakfast with my dad almost every day, and I have been having tea with Rhea every fucking Sunday for almost a year and... and neither of them ever told me!” Dimitri put his arm around her, and she fell into his chest and sobbed. “What horrifying thing am I, that is so terrible that my dad couldn't bear to say it out loud? What kind of a monster am I really, if my own Grandmother won't acknowledge me as her family?”

He held her and sheltered their heads from the rain with the blanket he had brought out. He couldn’t think of anything he could say that would help, so he figured he could at least just be there for her. Her heart may not be beating, but it was clear to Dimitri that it was breaking. He rubbed her back softly and they sat there in silence while she cried. Slowly, her sobs quieted, and she sniffed. She sat back up and sighed heavily. 

“I’m so sorry, Dimitri. I didn’t mean to unload all of that on you.”

He shook his head. “No, do not apologize. I... you...Just please do not apologize for what you are feeling, or for telling me what you are feeling." He pulled her back toward him, making sure she was still covered by the blanket as the rain was still falling. He put both arms around her. She hugged him back tightly. "Professor, please know that I am here for you. I meant what I said earlier. I will do anything you ask of me, even if it is just listening. You can tell me anything." 

Byleth buried her head in his neck and her fingers in his hair. Anything. She could tell him anything. She flirted with the idea of telling him about Sothis but figured it might be too much. How could he understand that she hears and talks to a voice in her head, and she sometimes even sees her floating around? "Thank you, Dimitri." She whispered instead. 

She lifted her head and kissed his cheek. His face was so warm. She lingered there. He turned and kissed her cheek in response, dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. Neither of them moved. She hesitated, trying to remember why they couldn't do this. Why couldn't she hold on to the one thing that made her feel something good right now? He held back, thinking that he did not want to take advantage of her in her vulnerable state. In the end, Byleth made the decision, turning her head just slightly and kissing his lips softly. She felt him smile against her lips.

"I thought you said we could not do this again until after graduation?" He let out a sigh and she kissed him again.

She pressed her head against his and nodded. "I did say that." She kissed him once more, twice, in quick succession. "I'm just happy that you would still want me. Even knowing…" She placed her palm on her chest.

He frowned and took her hand from her heart, kissed it, placed it over his own and held it there. "It does not matter to me if your heart does not beat, Professor. Mine will beat for you."

Fresh tears ran down her cheeks, mingling with the falling rain. She nodded and brought her other hand up and covered her mouth to hold back a sob, she wiped her cheek and pushed her wet hair from her face. She couldn't think of what to say. "It's raining really hard now," is what came out.

He smiled at her. "Come on, let us get you to your room." He helped her up and walked her through the monastery, continuing to shield her from the rain as he walked her to her door, as he had every night for the last two weeks. It was the last time he would need to do so. 

The next morning, she reported to Seteth and told him she would be ready to take back over her class on Monday. Then she squared her shoulders and called on every ounce of courage she possessed. It was Sunday, and she was late for tea with Rhea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Dimileth, they are just so cute. 
> 
> Comments and kudos will help your sick author get over this cold and keep writing. *Cough Cough...heeeeelp*


	7. Grandmother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth tries to get answers from Rhea and succeeds, a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this chapter killed me. Thanks to my Beta for talking me off the ledge and helping me fix it.

_**25th Guardian Moon** _

_**Imperial Year 1180** _

Byleth was ready to get some answers. The full truth, from the one person who knew it. She was about to walk out of Seteth’s office when he stopped her.

“Professor, I must say I am pleased that you are returning to your routine. However, I know that as part of that routine you usually have tea with Lady Rhea at this time and I am sorry to tell you that she is indisposed today.”

“Indisposed?”

“Indeed. She is in a meeting with the knights. I daresay it will not be a short one.” He replied, scarcely looking up from whatever it was he was writing. Byleth’s stomach dropped. She would have to wait. An unfamiliar feeling roared through her. Anger and sadness, with a little bit of ineffectiveness.

“ _You are frustrated, and I do not blame you.”_ Sothis huffed.

“Frustrated?” Byleth accidentally said out loud. Seteth looked up at her questioningly. “Um...I’m frustrated.”

“Why is that, professor?” Seteth asked. 

“Well, I just have some questions that only she can answer, and I was hoping to ask her today.” Byleth said.

Seteth raised an eyebrow and smirked. “A piece of advice. After working with Rhea for all these years I can tell you that it doesn’t matter what questions you ask her or when you ask them. She will give you information only when she wants to.”

“Really? Even with you?” Byleth looked at Seteth and wondered how much he knew about her. Maybe he could answer a few questions. She decided to start with the safest one. “Seteth, do you know why Lady Rhea offered me this job?”

Seteth set his quill down and looked at her over his steepled fingers. “No. Your appointment was a complete surprise to me. Usually an investigation is done, at minimum, but none was completed for you. I knew you were skilled in battle and strategy, but I knew nothing about you personally. It was, I will admit, unsettling. Especially when Rhea refused to tell me anything regarding her decision.”

“You don't trust me.”

“I do now, but I admit I didn’t then. Please understand I mean no offense. Every question I asked you didn’t know the answer to, or you gave an unclear or sarcastic answer. I thought you were hiding something.” Seteth looked down. “I apologize for thinking that of you.

“I can understand why you did. There's a lot about my past I don't know, but I have recently found out some things.” She crossed her arms. “You see, I wasn’t so much hiding things as things were being hidden from me. That’s what I want to talk to Lady Rhea about. I want answers.”

Seteth sat back in his chair. “But are you ready for the truth? For all of it? Learning it will undoubtedly have direct consequences on your life. I do not know what those will be. You may decide, once you learn everything, that you wish you hadn’t. You will never be able to return to ignorance. Are you ready for that?”

“Yes. I am.” She leaned on his desk. “Seteth, why do I get the idea that you know more than you are saying?”

He sighed. “Because I do. But I do not know everything. I fear telling you what I know, without having the other pieces of the puzzle would do more harm than good. Since your appointment, I have learned that Rhea knows everything about you, and yet she has told me nothing. The little I know I have figured out on my own.” He stood and walked around the desk to stand in front of her and held out his hand. “I promise you that you will know the whole of it. Even I have to talk to Rhea with you.” Byleth shook his hand.

Seteth smiled softly at her. “In the interest of telling the truth, I will tell you that the meeting Lady Rhea is currently attending has to do with finding the ruffians who killed your father. Rest assured, Professor, that I will let you know about anything we find.” 

Byleth stiffened. Part of her wanted to barge into the meeting and complain about her exclusion, but she decided to trust Seteth. She nodded and left his office. She would have to wait to ask Rhea her questions, she would have to wait to find out any more information about Monica and her whereabouts. She hated waiting; it was...frustrating. Still she was happy that it seemed Seteth was on her side. As she neared the stairs, she was stopped by Manuela, who was happy to see her up and about. 

"My dear professor, I insist you accompany me to the village today for a little retail and liquid therapy. And maybe some actual therapy wouldn't hurt. " Manuela said with a laugh, throwing an arm around Byleth. She thought about the few people she had talked to that day who were all looking at her with pity, and the somber mood around the monastery was just making her feel worse. A drink sounded great. She was her father’s daughter after all. She accepted Manuela’s invitation and they set off together.

Later that evening as they walked back to the monastery from the village where they had spent the entire day eating, drinking, and talking, Byleth spotted Dimitri, who was lurking in the shadows. She waved Manuela on ahead and walked over to where Dimitri was standing. 

_“What is he doing standing around the village at this hour? Ooh, I see...he is eavesdropping on someone. I must admit that I approve.”_ Sothis giggled.

She walked up to him and he seemed surprised to see her but motioned for her to be quiet. He gestured around the wall and Byleth saw the Flame Emperor standing with Monica and the mage who had rescued her standing a few feet away. Byleth was overcome with rage and whiskey fueled courage. She put her hand on the grip of her sword and moved to step forward. Dimitri put a hand on her shoulder and stopped her. 

“Not yet, professor.” He whispered. “This is an unexpected chance to hear their plans.” She didn’t want to hear anything. Not Dimitri’s logical reasoning or the plans being made by the three villains. She wanted to attack, even with Sothis screaming at her to be patient, the alcohol and anger flowed through her veins and she wanted to fight. He placed his other hand on her opposite shoulder and held her there. She looked at his hands on both her shoulders and realized for the first time just how big they were. He steadied her with his gaze even more than he did with his gigantic hands. She took a deep breath and nodded. She would listen, for now. She knew Dimitri wanted the head of the Flame Emperor for what happened in Duscar. If he could be patient, so could she. She shook her head and tried to sober up as she peeked around the wall quietly.

They heard Monica call the mage Thales and thank him for saving her. He intimated that he only saved her because she was part of a bigger plan. He called Monica by another name...Kronya. There seemed to be some sort of argument between Thales and the Flame Emperor. At the mention of Duscar, Dimitri’s head snapped up. He took a step forward and it was Byleth’s turn to hold him back. Even tipsy, she was still responsible.

“If we don’t act now, we’ll miss our chance!” he whispered harshly. She was about to call him a hypocrite, but the Flame Emperor had turned at the sound of Dimitri’s whisper. The next moment, a dagger came flying through the air, heading straight for them. Dimitri pulled her back and shielded her as it sailed past them. When they looked again, all three who had been standing there had warped away. Dimitri bent and picked up the thrown dagger, looking at it with an odd expression on his face. Byleth tilted her head and looked at him questioningly. 

“It is...no. Never mind. It could not possibly be so.” He looked at her. “Professor, we must destroy them. They’re the bastards who killed both my family and Jeralt.”

“When you said my enemies were your enemies, I guess you were right." She crossed her arms and swayed a bit on her feet. She was slurring her words a bit and that was annoying. She could not believe that Monica - Kronya, whatever the hell her name was, had been _right there_ and she slipped away again. That was even more annoying.

“Indeed. For now, let’s return to the monastery and... regroup." Dimitri had finally noticed that Byleth was intoxicated when she’d lost her balance momentarily. He found it adorable if not inopportune. "Professor, we need to get back and tell Rhea and Seteth what we have learned. The Flame Emperor is working with Monica and the mage, Thales. As for the Flame Emperor’s dagger...I’ll hold on to it for the time being.” He held her hand as they walked back to the monastery in silence. He told himself it was because she had been drinking and he wanted to help and make sure she didn’t fall in the growing darkness, but that was a lie. Dimitri was not very good at lying to other people, but he was well versed in lying to himself. They went straight to the second floor and made for Seteth’s office. He had them wait in his office while he left to get Lady Rhea. When they returned, Byleth told them what she and Dimitri had overheard. 

Rhea shook her head. “So, the Flame Emperor is working with Monica and the Thales.” She looked like she was going to say something else but didn’t. Instead it was Seteth who spoke. 

“It is a good thing we have summoned all of the knights to return. We have ascertained their location in the Sealed Forest. We will take them down.” Rhea glared at Seteth.

“You knew? You knew where they were, and you kept me in the dark?” Byleth asked, incredulous. She stood and wobbled, unsteady on her feet. 

“Why?” Dimitri asked. “Why the secrecy?” He reached out and tried to hold Byleth’s arm to keep her from tackling Seteth or Rhea, or falling, but she yanked it away and took a step forward. 

“You said you would tell me as soon as you found out anything.” She said to Seteth. “I trusted you.”

“Professor, calm yourself. I only just found out myself. This is the first time I have seen you since then.” Seteth replied. “I am keeping my promise to you…” He looked at Rhea. “...despite being asked not to tell you.”

Byleth turned to Rhea, who looked as furious as she felt. “Why didn’t you want me to know? Did you assume I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from confronting them if I knew their location? Well...you're right. I won’t stop myself. I'll go. Right now. We don’t need to wait for the knights!”

Dimitri stood and took his place next to Byleth, finally managing to grab hold of her arm. “We are at the ready.” He looked not at Seteth and Rhea, but at Byleth. “Order us to depart, and we will fight at your side.”

“No.” Rhea cut in, harshly. “I will not allow it. Thank you for the information, you are both dismissed.”

“No! You can’t just dismiss me!” Byleth roared at Rhea.

Rhea put her hands on her hips and levelled a look at Byleth. “I think you will find that I can, and I have.” She shook her head. “I will not argue with you about this further. You will stay behind for your own good. We cannot send you into this situation. The knights will handle it.”

Seteth put his hand on Rhea’s shoulder and looked at Byleth. “Professor, the discovery of their location is suspect. The information we received came when the knights were at their busiest. It is all too likely that our foes revealed themselves only to lure you out there.” Seteth explained. “It is highly likely you would be walking into a trap. I know they are the ones who took Jeralt from you...I know how you despise them, but I must ask you to rein in your personal feelings for now.”

“Rein in my personal feelings.” Byleth shook her head. “No. I won’t. And you can’t stop me from going….” Byleth looked straight at Rhea, teeth clenched. “...Grandmother.”

The silence in the room was stifling. Seteth, the only one who expressed surprise at what Byleth had said, was looking from Byleth to Rhea and back. Byleth dared Rhea to deny it with her expression. “Grandmother? Rhea...” Seteth whispered. Rhea did not answer him or look away from her.

"How long have you known." Rhea blinked and asked, calmly. 

"Not long enough." Byleth answered sarcastically. “You should have told me the day I got here instead of lying to me.”

“I know. But...please...Byleth. Do not punish me for that by acting carelessly now. I beg that you leave this to the knights.” Rhea looked down and her normally steady voice shook. “Losing you so soon after losing Jeralt would be unbearable for me.”

Byleth could not believe Rhea was asking her to stand down. “Unbearable for you?” She scoffed. “What about what others can bear? Have you ever thought about that? Or do only your feelings matter? You had us kill Ashe’s father, Sylvain’s brother, all because of crimes against the church, against you.” She turned to Seteth. “We helped you with those bandits on the Rhodos coast when they threatened your wife’s resting place.” Seteth looked down and Byleth rounded on Rhea once more. “I have done everything you have asked me to do, whether I agreed or not, no matter how hard some of those situations were on my students, and now that I want to go to battle for myself, something I want to fight for, you want to stop me?”

“I... cannot.” Rhea’s voice wavered. “I cannot give you the order to go. It would be a mistake.”

Dimitri stepped forward. “Lady Rhea, Seteth. Please try to understand something before you refuse. While this is a personal fight for us, you know that we are also the best suited to respond to the threat.” Dimitri spoke up. He was always speaking up for her. Standing up for her and with her. If Rhea and Seteth had not been in the room, she might have kissed him, but that might have been the remnants of the whiskey talking. “The Knights of Seiros are strong.” He continued. “Nobody is denying that. But our enemy’s strength is yet unknown. It is likely that the only warriors who will stand a chance against them are those who wield Relics. Among the knights, there is only Catherine. There are five in our class who have relics. Byleth, Felix, Sylvain, Lysithea, and Ingrid. If you make it an official mission we can bring Hilda along for mission assistance, and that makes six relics on the field with us. With all that in mind, it is obvious who should be dispatched, is it not?”

Seteth appeared to be swayed by the argument and was looking to Rhea for confirmation. She did not look convinced. Dimitri continued. “If the professor leaves, we will go as well. Officially or unofficially. It does not matter. You might as well give us the order to go so we can make proper preparations. We can be ready to depart at a moment’s notice.” He looked directly at Rhea. “Surely you must see that we cannot wait any longer for the knights to gather. Please...Do what must be done and give us the order.” Rhea looked to Byleth.

“Professor...Do you agree with this strategy?” Byleth nodded vigorously. She would have agreed to any strategy that allowed them leave to fight. If Rhea didn’t give the order, she was fully ready to go on her own anyway. “Understood. I will give you the order...but you must promise to return safely.” Rhea looked to Dimitri. “You must promise me that no harm will come to her.”

Dimitri nodded and bowed to Lady Rhea. “I made a similar promise to Captain Jeralt. I will not let him down, nor you.”

Rhea sighed. “Very well…Professor, your mission is to destroy the enemy that is hiding in the Sealed Forest.” Rhea came up to Byleth and held both her hands in hers. “You have the protection of the goddess on your side. Whatever happens, you shall overcome.”

It was agreed they would leave at first light the next morning. As Dimitri and Byleth walked from Seteth’s office, he stopped her and took her hand. "Professor, no matter what enemy we face, we will not fail. I promise you that." He kissed her hand and smiled teasingly at her. "For now, let us get you a cup of coffee."

***

They had failed. Before the battle started, Dimitri had told her that he would follow her to the end, whatever that end may be. Byleth had a feeling he would never be able to follow her here. Wherever it is that she was. All she could see was darkness.

 _“You fool!”_ Byleth heard Sothis’ voice in the darkness. Suddenly she appeared before her. _“What were you thinking, charging right into an enemy’s trap?”_

Byleth didn’t answer. She honestly had no excuse. She knew it was likely to be a trap. Seteth had said as much and she had ignored his warnings in the name of revenge. “I’m sorry, Sothis.”

_“Apologizing won’t make things right! This darkness is terrifying! As you and I are one...I too, am trapped within this void.”_

“Is there a way for us to get out of here?” Byleth asked, looking around. The darkness was so oppressive that she could almost feel it touching her. It was so dark that even the light that usually emanated from Sothis was dimmed. There was no way to know whether the space they were in was small and closing around them, or infinite. 

_“Perhaps. But consider this...This realm of darkness we are in, is separate from the world from which you came. It would take a god to leave this place.”_

“Well, good thing we have one of those.” Byleth looked pointedly at Sothis.

 _“How very brave of you, to joke at times like these…”_ Sothis crossed her arms. “ _If we stay here, in time, our hearts and minds will cease to be. Are you prepared to die?”_

Byleth sighed. “Just two days ago, I would have said yes without hesitation, but now....” Byleth had thought she was alone. That losing Jeralt meant she had lost everything. While the pain was still there and still terrible, she knew that she was not alone. She had friends. She had students that depended on her. She had Dimitri. She had a grandmother she needed to get to know and needed to get answers from. “...no, Sothis. I'm not prepared to die.”

 _“I am happy to hear you say that. That means we have no other choice…”_ Sothis floated closer to her. “ _There is but one thing left to do to save us from the darkness of eternity. I must now use the power of a god. However, I lack a body of my own. And so, I must relinquish all the power that I have...to you.”_

“What do you mean? Why would you give all your power to me?”

 _“I have already taken so much from you. It is the least I can do.”_ Byleth was about to retort, but Sothis held up a hand to stop her. “ _Do not argue. We read in your father’s diary that you were a child who never cried nor laughed. I think I am the one to blame. I must have been asleep, but even then, I feel I was a part of you. With me asleep, you did not have access to your feelings. Somehow I must have been blocking them, which is why you did not start to feel strong emotions until the day I awoke. You cannot say that I have not taken anything from you, dear one.”_

Byleth shook her head. “I'm sure that not having access to my emotions made life easier for me back then. It was ideal for the way I was raised, actually. I bet my dad would thank you for sparing him the drama of having an emotional teenage daughter. I don’t blame you for my stunted emotions, Sothis. I don’t blame you for anything; I blame Rhea.”

_"I do not know how Rhea managed it, but she allowed me to exist inside of you. But it is within you that I found my power yet again. The power of the progenitor god. I am the one who watches over Fodlan and the creatures dwelling there, but I cannot watch from this realm. The time has come for you and I to join as one. And when that comes to pass...I shall disappear.”_

“Disappear?!” 

_“When I say disappear, I do not mean that all I am will be no more. My soul will merge with yours, and you and I will never be apart. But...I will no longer have the chance to speak with you."_

"I'm going to miss you, Sothis. I know it hasn't been exceptionally long that you've been awake with me, I’ve gotten used to having you in my head, doing running commentary on everything."

_"Indeed, through you, I got to see and hear the world. I even got to chastise you from time to time. I may not have always acted like a goddess, but...it was certainly fun. For all that you have done...Thank you. I’m glad that it was you to whom my fate was bound.”_

“Thank you...for being my friend, for helping me, for everything.” Byleth wished she could hug her.

“ _Stop now, you'll make me blush."_ Sothis giggled _._ Byleth was going to miss her laughter _. "Now. We must pray. For if we share this wish, our spirits two will join as one...Your wish...is to return to the forest, stop the enemy, and rescue the little ones. No need for words. I know your heart as though it were my own…"_

Sothis floated closer to her. They were both bathed in a golden shimmering light. Sothis raised her hand; Byleth did the same.

"Goodbye, Byleth."

"Goodbye, Sothis."

Byleth was filled with warmth as Sothis floated through her, and then she was gone. A strange wind came up from somewhere and she felt a surge of power. She pulled out her sword and as it lit up, she realized what she had to do. She took a deep breath and lashed out at the darkness.

***

Dimitri listened to his classmates argue with the man they had all known as Tomas. Nobody believed the professor was lost to them. Dimitri wanted to believe she was alright, that he would see her again. But what if he did not? The Flame Emperor had already stolen the rest of his family and now his minions had killed Jeralt and taken the woman he loved. It was too much. 

“I will slice you into a thousand pieces as you watch with horror…" Dimitri shouted at Solon. "You will know true pain before I finally allow you to die!”

Solon had the nerve to laugh at him. “How trite. But if you wish for pain, I shall oblige." The beginning of a dark magic spell formed in his hand. "If you prefer it so, you shall also be added to the ranks of the dead!”

The Blue Lions readied their weapons, but before any of them could advance, there was a blinding light in the sky. As he looked closer, Dimitri could see that the light was being made by the tip of the Sword of the Creator. The sword was cutting through the sky itself! He felt his heart leap into his throat. If the sword was cutting through, surely, she was on the other side holding it. Suddenly he saw the black of her boots and then her leggings...Byleth dropped right out of the sky, landing on her feet with the grace of a cat. 

It was Byleth, was it not? It looked like her, his heart soared at the sight of her as it usually did, and yet, she was different. Her dark teal hair had turned a brilliant mint green. As she looked over to where they all stood, he realized her eyes had changed to the same bright green shade. She looked like she was glowing. She was glorious. She was beautiful. She was furious.

"So, the Fell Star consumes even the darkness itself and..." Solon started. Whatever he had to say, he didn't get to finish. Byleth jumped at him and cut him down before his next breath. 

"Shut the fuck up, Solon." She said, sheathing her sword.

"Professor?" Dimitri rushed to her. “I am so glad you are ok. I am... I am so relieved. “What’s more, Jeralt’s foe is dead. Though we took little satisfaction from it.” Byleth nodded. She seemed slightly out of sorts. “Professor...I must ask. What happened after we were separated? You are...different.”

“Different?” He nodded at her. “Well...the goddess gifted me her power.”

“The goddess...gave you her power?" Dimitri shook his head. "It is hard to grasp, in all honesty. But having seen you pierce the sky with my own eyes, I find myself unable to doubt it.”

She looked at him, nodded, and fell to the ground. Dimitri threw himself down to check on her. Perhaps she had been injured by that spell after all. “Professor! What’s wrong?!” He was glad she had told him about her lack of heartbeat, or he might have checked, not found one, and despaired. He lifted her hand and felt her pulse. He put his hand under her nose. She was breathing. She seemed to be sleeping. He looked around at the others who had gathered around and were looking at him anxiously. “I believe she is asleep.” He announced. 

“Somehow, that's not at all surprising. How are we going to get her back?” Ingrid asked.

“We could just wait until she wakes up?” Hilda offered. 

“Last time she fell asleep after a battle she slept for two days.” Felix shook his head.

There was a discussion about whether Ingrid could fly her back on her pegasus, but she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to hold her and didn’t want to risk dropping her from that height. Dimitri wrapped his arms under her knees and beneath her back. “Sorry, Professor…” He said, as he lifted her and shifted her weight; she was light in his arms. “But I have no choice but to carry you back.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to save the bridal carry for the wedding night, Your Highness?” Sylvain said with a wink. 

Both Ingrid and Felix both took a swing at Sylvain as they all started walking again. Ingrid mounted her pegasus and flew ahead to let someone know they needed help. Dimitri looked down at Byleth’s sleeping face and blushed. He could understand why the position was called a bridal carry. It was awfully intimate. Her legs hung over his arm, which meant his hand was resting high on the back of her thigh. A few more inches in the other direction and he would be touching her butt. He could not possibly do that. He shifted his hand a bit and adjusted her, so his hand was securely on her leg and nowhere else. She was now turned toward him more, with her head against his shoulder. That was better until he noticed her breasts were pushed up against his chest. If he looked down, he could see directly down her shirt. He frowned and tried to force himself to keep looking forward, but he could not stop his eyes from wandering. He hardened in his trousers and it was extremely uncomfortable as he pushed against the codpiece of his armor with every step.

 _“You are disgusting, boy.”_ His father growled in his head. “ _She is not even conscious, and you are getting sick pleasure from looking at her. She would hate you if she knew.”_

Dimitri tried to ignore both his father’s voice and his own lecherous desires. It was a long walk back to Garreg Mach, but it seemed Ingrid was able to make her way there as planned, since Rhea herself greeted them at the gates. She looked at Byleth sleeping in his arms and smiled in a way he had never seen. “Your Highness, please take her directly to my quarters on the third floor. I will lead the way.”

“Not to the infirmary?” Dimitri asked, as they began to walk. 

“No, it is not medical attention she needs, it is rest. That will be easier in my quarters than in a common space like the infirmary.” Rhea walked quickly across the monastery grounds, but she continued to peek over at Byleth. “What happened out there?” Rhea asked him. 

Dimitri told her about the battle, how Solon had sacrificed Kronya to do a spell that trapped Byleth somewhere. How they had seen her tear her way through the sky to return. That Byleth had said the goddess gifted her power to her. 

“Amazing.” Rhea smiled. “Did she say anything else or seem different to you at all? Other than her physical changes?” 

Dimitri shook his head. “I cannot be sure, Your Grace. She fell asleep almost immediately after defeating Solon."

“I see.” Rhea replied. She smoothed Byleth’s hair back, lingering and looking at the changed color in wonder. They walked the rest of the way in silence. Dimitri had never seen the Archbishop’s quarters before. It was a very large and well-appointed room. Rhea directed him to lie Byleth on the large bed in the center of the room. “Thank you, Your Highness. You are dismissed.”

Dimitri would have preferred to stay, of course. If Byleth had been in the infirmary, Manuela would have let him stay. But this was the Archbishop, and it was her room, so he could not insist. He bowed to Rhea and turned to leave, hesitating at the door. “Will you please...let me know when she wakes. I...and the other Lions...we are all worried about her.” Rhea nodded. Dimitri took one last look at Byleth and left the room. 

***

Byleth did not know if she was awake or dreaming. Everything was fuzzy. She looked up and noticed that she was lying with her head in Rhea's lap. Rhea was caressing Byleth’s head and singing the song she and Sothis had heard her singing the night of the ball. Sothis…

“You must remain still.” Rhea’s soft voice broke through the haze.

“Where am I?” she asked.

“Everything is alright. There is no need to worry. Those who tried to harm you are far away.” Byleth closed her eyes as Rhea continued humming her song. “I have heard whispers of what happened to you...Your appearance...From the moment you took hold of the Sword of the Creator....I prayed that one day the radiant power of Sothis might reside within you...and now here you are." Byleth drifted back to sleep.

The next time she opened her eyes, she knew she was awake. She sat up. Everything was still fuzzy. She reached a hand up and felt that her glasses were not on her face. That explained why she could not see, but not where she was. Even with blurry vision she could tell it was definitely not her room. The bed she was lying in was huge, and there was an enormous amount of light in the room. She heard the sound of a door opening and turned in to see someone walking in, carrying a tray of something. As the figure came closer, she confirmed it was Rhea.

"Ah...you have awoken. How do you feel?" Rhea asked softly, setting the tray down on a table. It was odd, she sounded happy but almost nervous somehow.

Byleth blinked. "I feel…" How did she feel? "I feel sleepy."

"That is to be expected of course. Oh, I am so happy to see you." Rhea said, sitting next to her on the bed, taking hold of both her hands. "It has been so long." Byleth briefly wondered how long she had been asleep.

"I wish I could see you." Byleth laughed. "Lady Rhea, do you know where my glasses are?"

"Byleth?" Rhea asked, sounding surprised. 

"Yes?" 

There was a pause where Byleth only heard Rhea breathing. Byleth squinted to try to get a better look at her expression. Rhea sighed, let go of her hands, and stood up. She watched her blurry figure walk across the room and back, then felt her glasses being placed in her hands. Byleth quickly slipped them on and looked up at Rhea, who was looking at her curiously. “Thank you.”

"I apologize, my dear. I had hoped that with your transformation...well I didn't think you would need them anymore." Byleth swore Rhea looked disappointed for a moment, but perhaps she was imagining things.

"Transformation?" Byleth looked down at herself and saw nothing different. "What transformation?"

Rhea smiled a small smile, grabbed a hand mirror from her vanity and raised the looking glass up so Byleth could see herself. For a brief and beautiful moment, she thought she was looking at Sothis, but it was still her in the reflection, she just looked different. Her mouth dropped open and she was speechless.

"Yes, that is what I said as well." Rhea put the mirror down. "I got very few details from your house leader. May I ask if you know how this happened?"

“I was trapped...somewhere by Solon. Sothis...uh, the goddess, appeared and gave me her power so that we would be able to escape that place.” Byleth explained.

Rhea nodded solemnly. “Now that you have received sacred power from the goddess, there is somewhere you must pay a visit to at once. You must go to the Holy Tomb, so that you may receive a divine revelation from the goddess.”

“A revelation?”

“Yes. Saint Seiros, the first soul to be gifted power from the goddess, received her revelation in the holy tomb. She was told that it was her sacred duty to save the people of Fodlan, and that she must use her power wisely in order to lead them. The words that were handed down to Seiros from the goddess will likely fall upon your ears as well." Rhea clasped her hands in her lap. 

Byleth wondered if she should tell Rhea that she already heard from the goddess. That she had been hearing from the goddess every day for months and that Sothis herself told her that she would not hear her voice again. Byleth hesitated; Rhea continued. 

“We will hold a ceremony at the Holy Tomb at the end of next moon. It is there that you will receive the goddess’ revelation. You may bring a few of your students and it can be your mission for the month.” Byleth was confused. Her question showed on her face and Rhea explained. “It is said that when Seiros received the revelation, she had holy warriors by her side, protecting her. Your students, who have followed you and fought alongside you through the darkest of times, are well suited to stand by you for the ceremony.” Rhea patted her on the knee. “Of course, as the leader of the Church of Seiros, I will be by your side as well. This occasion is too significant to be missed.”

“As leader of the church, or as my grandmother?” Byleth asked, narrowing her eyes. “Lady Rhea, why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“You father did not wish for me to tell you. I believe he would have told you the truth in his own time, had he not died suddenly. I am filled with grief about his loss. He was an ally of many years...and also a dear friend.”

“Many years? When did you meet?”

“It was a long while back. He could not even grow a beard yet. At the time, Jeralt was a soldier of the Kingdom. He was injured in battle, and I saved him just as he was about to perish. That was our first meeting. After that he became a Knight of Seiros."

“Why did he leave the knights?” Byleth asked.

“He...fell in love with one of the nuns here at Garreg Mach. 

“Your daughter.”

Rhea nodded. “Their love produced a child...whom she died giving birth to.” Byleth’s face fell. Her father had told her many things about her mother over the years, but not how she died. He only told her that she fell ill soon after having her but he did not tell her that her mother had died as the result of childbirth. “It was her decision, Byleth. She weighed her own life against yours and, in the end, implored me to save you. Your father...never truly accepted that it was her decision. He thought I had something to do with it, but I respected her will. Nothing more. Still he took you and disappeared without warning. I thought I'd lost you forever."

"But how? How is it that I am alive if my heart isn’t beating? What am I really? I still have so many questions. " Byleth asked.

"I know you do, and after your ceremony in the Holy Tomb, I promise that anything that is not revealed to you, I will explain." 

Rhea stood up and busied herself with the tray she'd brought in. Byleth took that to mean Rhea was finished with answering questions. She brought her a cup of Crescent-Moon tea. Having never tried it, she took a cautious sip, it was warm and comforting. 

"Do you like the tea?" Rhea asked after a while. Byleth nodded. "I'm glad." Rhea said, looking wistfully into her own cup. "It was my mother’s favorite." Byleth tilted her head quizzically at Rhea. "That is a story for another time, little one." Rhea took the now empty teacups and replaced them on the tray, excusing herself with an order that Byleth continue to rest at least until dinner, which she agreed to do.

Once Rhea left the room, Byleth picked up the mirror again. "Sothis?" She asked aloud. "Are you still in there?" She was hoping the goddess was wrong, that she'd still be able to hear her, but there was only a deafening silence. A tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another. In the heat of the moment she knew merging with Sothis was the only thing they could do to survive, but not feeling her presence anymore felt wrong. She set the mirror down and decided to sleep just a little while longer. Her last thought as she went under was a hope that she might have the familiar dream of the young girl on the throne.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing away with weekly updates. I'll probably update quicker that way because I tell myself I have the whole week and then I procrastinate. As such, expect another update pretty soon.
> 
> Comments and kudos will make Rhea come to her senses and tell Byleth the truth!


	8. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth has a celebration with her pseudo-siblings, Dimitri is betrayed by his stepsister, and Byleth discovers the truth about the rest of her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when I get rid of weekly updates. Faster updates! I hope you enjoy this chapter because man did I have fun writing the first part. Enjoy!

_**20th Pegasus Moon** _

_**Imperial Year 1180** _

As the weeks passed, Byleth was at the center of most of the gossip at Garreg Mach. People were discussing her grief over Jeralt, her changed appearance and the reasons behind it, and there was a wild rumor that she was engaged to the Prince of Faerghus. She had been trying her best to not be seen alone with Dimitri too much so it wouldn’t fuel things. Without Sothis to keep her company and laugh at how silly it all was, she found herself annoyed most of the time. She was sick of it. She needed a night out and Felix’s birthday provided the perfect excuse. She and Leonie decided to drag him to the village for dinner and drinks when he showed up for their afternoon sparring session. 

"Annette is going to kill you guys. I'm sure she has something planned for me." Felix scowled as they walked through the monastery and out the gates. 

"No, she isn't; we asked her for permission first." Leonie said, looping her arm around his elbow and pulling slightly to whisper conspiratorially. "She seemed glad to be rid of you, actually."

Byleth, who had hold of Felix’s other arm, pulled him towards her and away from Leonie. "That's not true Felix, don't believe a word she says." 

"I won't." He scoffed. "We could have at least still sparred. Instead you two are going to try to rip me in half. Let me go; I can walk on my own.”

“Do you promise to come with us and not run back to the training grounds if we let you go?” Byleth asked.

“No. Because this is stupid. Birthdays are dumb. It’s just another day, why do we need to celebrate?” Felix grumbled.

Byleth held his arm tighter. “Felix! It’s your eighteenth birthday! It’s not every day a young man comes of age.” Byleth smiled to herself, remembering that Jeralt had said the same thing to Dimitri on his birthday. It was getting easier to smile instead of cry when she thought about her dad...most of the time. 

“And you can drink now, you know... legally.” Leonie smirked. 

“Humph. I’ve been drinking since I was thirteen. Frauldarious territory is so cold we all drink at a young age to keep warm. So again, no big deal.” He shook his head. 

Byleth grinned as they arrived at the same restaurant where she had brought Dimitri on his birthday. A fact she decided not to tell Felix. "Maybe not, but here we are, and we are going to celebrate anyway."

A short while later they were all seated and both Byleth and Leonie were chugging ale like it was water because the spicy chicken Felix had ordered was burning their mouths. “Hot!” Leonie cried, sticking her tongue out and fanning it with her hands. “Whose stupid idea was it to order this “extra spicy.”

Byleth’s eyes were watering and her nose was running. She sniffed loudly. “It isn’t that bad, Leonie. Just a little like a Bolganone spell went off in your head you know. That’s what we get for letting Felix order.” Byleth took her coat off. “Is it just me or is it really hot in here.” Leonie nodded; Felix smirked. 

“Wimps.” He said through a mouth full of extra spicy chicken. He waved over the serving girl. “Can we get another two ales each for these two, please.” He asked.

“And a... double whiskey... for the birthday boy.” Byleth huffed as she tried to cool down. Felix rolled his eyes as the serving girl walked away. 

“I don’t want whiskey, ale is fine.” Felix lifted his glass to show them he had only drunk about a third of his pint glass, while the girls had each had two. 

“Nope!” Leonie drained the last of her third pint and burped while the serving girl brought the next round. “You need to catch up, and whiskey will get you there faster.” Byleth, meanwhile, picked up another piece of the chicken and took a bite.

“Fuck! This is the hottest thing I have ever had in my mouth, and I love it.” She moaned. Leonie spit the mouthful of ale she had just drunk back into her glass and tried to keep from choking and Felix turned red. 

“You can’t say things like that By!” Leonie giggled. Byleth looked confused. “I swear, you are so dense.” 

“Why not?” She asked. She had turned exceptionally red herself from a combination of the overheating and the alcohol. Leonie was still laughing so she turned to Felix, who rolled his eyes at her.

“I’m not explaining it to you! And neither is Leonie.” Felix tipped back his whiskey in one gulp. “I’d need at least four more of these to sit through that conversation.”

“Good idea! Whiskey all around!” Leone called out to the serving girl who nodded as Byleth reached for another piece of chicken even though she was breaking a sweat and panting. Felix reached out and smacked her hand.

“Stop fucking eating it!” He moved the plate away. “Order yourself a desert or something. I’m done with you having an orgasm over the chicken, it’s embarrassing.” 

Byleth frowned. She picked up her ale and finished it off while she waited for the serving girl to come back with the whiskeys. She was feeling very warm and content, not to mention she was starting to feel tipsy. Maybe she would order desert after all. She and Leonie ordered cake and they sat for another hour drinking and eating. Byleth was enjoying her cake far more than she had the spicy chicken. It was a good idea to order something sweet. She liked sweet things. Like Dimitri. Dimitri was sweet. She sighed. “I wish Dimitri was here.” She sat up suddenly and put her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, I did _not_ mean to say that out loud.” Leonie laughed boisterously.

Felix grimaced. “I wish you hadn’t. Fucking gross.”

“We should have invited him!” Leonie said and threw back another whiskey and shook afterwards. “I know you’ve been avoiding spending time with him alone, but in a group it should have been ok.”

“I couldn’t invite him, Felix hates him.” Byleth had switched from whiskey back to ale. “Besides him being here would just remind me of all the stupid rumors and gossip and I’m trying to forget all that right now.” Leonie nodded seriously holding her empty whiskey glass to her chest.

Felix signaled for another round of drinks and shook his head. “I don’t hate the boar. I just...I don’t hate him, ok... only... maybe a little bit…. Kind of.” He turned to Byleth who noticed that he was flushed, and she guessed it was all the whiskey that appeared to be catching up to him. They may drink at a young age in Fraldarius, but apparently whiskey wasn’t on the menu, he hiccoughed. “What rumors and gossip are you talking about? Who do we need to beat up?”

Byleth smirked. “You’d have to beat up everyone in Garreg Mach for the gossip, but most of it is true so it doesn’t bother me as much.” She shook her head, and her vision swam. She was well past tipsy. She leaned on her hand and picked at her cake with her fork. “The rumor... is that I am engaged to Dimitri, and that’s not true, so it does bother me, so I’ve been trying to stay away from him as much as possible.”

Leonie laughed. “But…” She struggled to speak through her laughing. “You are... engaged to Dimitri!”

Byleth sat up and dropped her fork. “I am not!” She turned to Felix, suddenly feeling like she had to make it clear to him that she was not engaged. “Felix… I’m not, I swear.” Felix slapped Byleth on the shoulder, probably harder than he intended to. “Ow!”

“Sorry…crest plus alcohol...bad.” He put his hand gently on her shoulder and looked at her solemnly. “Eisner...I have to tell you something. You... sort of are... engaged to the boar. But, he asked you accidentally because he’s an idiot, and you said yes accidentally because you’re an idiot! So, it shouldn't really count.”

Leonie laughed even louder than before. “Holy Seiros, I am drank...I mean...drunk.” She put her head on her arms on the table and continued to shake with laughter. “You’re both idiots…that's funny.”

“You _are_ drunk, Leonie.” Felix slurred while patting her awkwardly on the head then turning back to Byleth. “Listen...also... I think I may have started that rumor. I wrote a letter to my dad telling him what an idiot the boar was for proposing to his teacher on accident, and he wrote back saying “well too bad they’re engaged now”, but he was joking. Someone probably read one of our letters, or both.”

“There’s just no respect for privacy anymore.” Leonie said, eating her cake with her fingers. 

Byleth didn’t understand. As the band set up and started to play, Felix tried to explain what official courtship was in noble circles, but Byleth was too intoxicated to understand, or Felix was too intoxicated to explain it properly. Leonie had fallen asleep, but every once in a while, she would laugh at something they said, so it wasn’t a deep sleep. 

“Does that mean you are engaged to Annette?” Byleth asked. “Congratulations!”

“No!” Felix’s head fell back. “Ugh…That’s the same thing the boar asked me! How are you both so stupid?”

Leonie laughed. “Practice. Lots of practice.” She said with her head still on the table. Byleth reached over and flicked her ear.

“Annette and I are just dating. I’m pretty sure the stupid boar probably meant to ask you if you would date him, but he’s too dumb to do that, so he proposed. Like an idiot. Because he’s an idiot. It’s just a misunderstanding though. People will get over it.” Felix waved his hand dismissively and turned back to the stage. “This band is good. I should bring Annette here.”

“I’ll invite Raph and we can have a triple date with Byleth and His Highness!” Leonie raised her head, thought better of it, and put it back down.

“Since when are you dating Raphael? I thought you were just friends.” Byleth shook Leonie. “You are supposed to be my best friend, you aren’t allowed to have a boyfriend and not tell me.”

“I thought I was your best friend.” Felix interjected half-heartedly as he listened more to the band than their conversation.

“Fat chance, Fraldarius.” Leonie laughed. Byleth poked Leonie in the arm continuously, hoping she could annoy her enough to get her to answer. Maybe the Jeralt method worked on her too. Leonie swatted Byleth’s hand away. “Cut it out! I wanted to tell you, By, but you were busy… grieving... and... merging with the goddess and stuff. It just didn’t come up.” Leonie yawned. 

"Is that why you've been so busy lately?" Byleth pouted. “You know, when Dimitri kissed me, I told you right away. How long have you been dating Raphael without telling me?” 

Leonie blushed. “Actually, it’s been since the night your dad died. I was sad and I felt alone. And I was worried about you in the infirmary and he was really comforting. It kind of just...escalated from there.” Her blush deepened. “Goddess, I need another drink.”

“That’s like...almost two months!” Byleth’s mouth dropped in shock. “Why doesn’t anyone ever tell me anything? You aren’t hiding anything else from me, are you?” Leonie dropped her head back into her arms and groaned. “Leonie Pinelli, what are you not telling me.”

“We...had sex?” Leonie whispered, still hiding her face. 

Byleth gasped. "When did that happen?"

“What?” Felix turned around suddenly. “Leonie, you had sex with Raphael? Ouch. How does that even physically work with the two of you!” He held up a hand. “No, you know what, forget I asked. I don’t want to know.” He turned back to watch the band again and shook his head. “Why do I hang out with you two?”

“Because you love us, Felix.” Byleth leaned her head on Leonie’s arm. “So... First of all, how dare you not tell me. Second, when did this happen? And third, Felix may not want to know, but I do...How? How does that even work Leonie, he's so big and you're so little!” Byleth laughed.

Leonie left her head down but turned to look at Byleth. "First, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Second, what was the second question…" Leonie giggled. "Oh right, when. So, the first time... was that first night we hooked up and then pretty regularly ever since." She winked at Byleth and laughed again, which turned into a yawn. “And third...well I’ll tell you that later By. Once Felix isn't around.” 

"Thank the goddess." Felix mumbled.

Byleth shook her head in disbelief. "Since the first night? You said it escalated from there. How do you escalate from being just friends to having sex on the same day? That seems really fast."

Leonie rolled her eyes. "Well excuse me if we didn't spend half a year making googly eyes at each other, kiss once, and then immediately get engaged. That seems pretty fast to me."

"Ok, but the engagement was an accident. We've only kissed a few times...and never even using tongue much less... having sex." Byleth blushed.

"Will the two of you shut up...you're going to make me puke." Felix snapped. Byleth and Leonie laughed. Leonie put her head back down on the table and Byleth turned to listen to the band with Felix.

Eventually, the music was over, and they decided to head back to the monastery. The problem was that Leonie was now fully asleep. Byleth and Felix threw one of her arms over each of them and helped walk her back, dragging her part of the way, but finally getting her into her room. Felix stayed outside while Byleth got Leonie into her pajamas and tucked her in. 

“She is going to be so hungover in the morning.” Byleth whispered to Felix as she closed Leonie’s door.

“So are you. So am I. You are a terrible role model.” He smirked. “But thanks for giving me a good birthday.” They walked through the dormitories to Byleth’s room and sat on the stairs in front of Dedue’s door. 

“Felix, can I ask you something and have you answer it seriously for once?” she asked. 

“I’m just drunk enough to say yes to that question.” He huffed out a short laugh. “What? What do you want to know?”

“Why do you hate Dimitri so much?”

Felix sighed heavily. “I already told you, I don’t. It’s...It’s complicated.”

“Explain it to me.” Byleth crossed her arms.

“Fine.” Felix leaned back on his elbows. “You have to understand... my relationship with the boar started before either of us was even born. I was literally conceived to give him a friend and advisor. Just like my dad was with King Lambert.” He shook his head. “When we were little we were always together. You could even say that... at one time, we were best friends.”

“So, what happened?"

“Duscar happened. Duscar happened and everything changed.” Felix closed his eyes momentarily. “It’s hard to talk about. Everyone just kind of left him alone afterwards, you know. They kept telling us to give him space, but I think everyone gave him too much space because they didn't know what to do or say. I didn’t see him for almost a year after it happened and by then he had closed himself off.” Felix frowned and sat back up. “A year after that, his Uncle Rufus made him a commander for a unit sent to quell an uprising in western Faerghus. I was part of that unit. That was when I saw what he had really turned into.” He crossed his arms on his knees and put his head down on them. “He was like an animal. A bloodthirsty animal who not only didn’t care that he was killing people, he was enjoying it. It was disgusting. He was disgusting. I can’t think about him the same ever since. As much as he tries to pretend that he is still a perfect little prince, he isn’t; not anymore. He's...damaged. Even he knows that. I may hate him, but he hates himself far more than I ever could.”

“So...you do hate him?” Byleth asked, wondering if Felix was right about Dimitri hating himself.

“Yes...and no. I hate what he became. That he allowed his grief to turn him into a monster. The friend I used to have died in Duscar with my brother." He looked at her. "Sometimes... I think I see glimpses of who he used to be, usually when he’s with you. And it's nice, but it isn’t real. The Dimitri he lets you see isn't the real one. The boar is who he really is now.” Felix shook his head. "He's just good at hiding it."

"Maybe you're being too hard on him. You say everyone gave him too much space after Duscar, what if he needed help? What if he still does?" She asked.

"Then… I'll help him, I guess. I'm the future shield of Faerghus, it's my job. But it isn't your job, Byleth." He shook his head. "Look, I know you really like him...but you need to be careful that he doesn’t chew you up and spit you out. Don't fall for the prince act so hard, you know. You deserve better than a bloodthirsty animal."

"What if it's too late? What if I already fell for the prince act?" She paused, then whispered, sadly. "What if I already love him?"

"Honestly, Byleth...if you love him…then...I'm sorry. You'll probably end up like me at some point. Loving and hating him at the same time."

Byleth laughed bitterly. "Well, that fucking sucks." He laughed with her. 

"It really does." Felix smirked. 

"You couldn't just lie to me and tell me we'll live happily ever after?" 

"No. You want someone to make you feel better, I'll go find Annette for you. You want the truth, you come to me." He smacked her on the back. "I may be an asshole, but I'm honest."

"You are an asshole. No wonder you stink." She smirked at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Can I...as long as we're being drunkenly honest...can I tell you something?" She nodded. "Sometimes you remind me so much of Glenn that I want to punch you in the face."

She nodded. "I get that. You remind me of my dad sometimes, and I get the same urge." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

They talked for a while more, mostly about the upcoming mission and Felix’s disappointment that there wouldn't be a chance for combat if everything went as planned. Eventually the midnight bell rang and she sent him to his quarters and she went into hers. As she lay in bed she thought about Dimitri and wondered who he really was. Was he her sweet and steadfast prince or Felix’s bloodthirsty boar? Or was he somehow both at once?

***

_**27th Pegasus Moon** _

_**Imperial Year 1180** _

The ceremony in the Holy Tomb did not go as planned. It went from bad to worse quickly. As Byleth expected, nothing happened when she sat on the throne. She had not heard from Sothis in a month, and while she held slim hope once she saw the throne in person, she didn't really think it would work. Rhea, on the other hand, could not hide her disappointment and Seteth and the students could not disguise their confusion. They were about to leave the tomb when all hell broke loose. The Imperial army was working for the Flame Emperor, and they were there to steal crest stones from the graves of the goddess' children. 

Byleth was disgusted. If these truly were the resting place of Sothis' children, she would do everything she could to protect them. She shouted orders and soon she and her students were engaged in a battle with the Imperial soldiers. Even Rhea and Seteth joined the fight, both looking far more fearsome on the battlefield than Byleth would have ever thought. Dimitri had rushed ahead, as he was prone to do, and was locked in a battle with the Flame Emperor himself. As the last of the Imperial soldiers around them was defeated, Dimitri reached up and grabbed the Flame Emperor’s mask and pulled it off.

Dimitri staggered back in shock as the red and white mask fell to the floor, and the Flame Emperor took a few steps back, with her battalion surrounding her. The Flame Emperor was a woman. Byleth looked at the face that had been behind the mask. Those familiar lavender eyes. The Flame Emperor was Edelgard.

Byleth thought back to the conversations she’d had with Edelgard the whole year. Saving her from the bandit leader, talking about her past at the slumber party, Edelgard talking to her after her dad died - and she had been the Flame Emperor the whole time. They knew the Flame Emperor was behind the bandit attack, and had been responsible for so many of the things that had happened that year, including her dad’s death. All around her, everyone was in shock. Byleth heard a maniacal laugh echo through the chamber. 

She looked to her left and realized the sound was coming from Dimirti. She had heard him laugh so many times before, a small self-conscious chuckle that always made her melt. He usually laughed like he was trying to stop himself from doing so. The sound that was coming from him was nothing like that. This laugh made the hair on her arms stand up; it was unhinged. The look on his face was a far cry from the princely mask he usually wore. Byleth looked to her right, at Felix. His eyes were open wide and he had his sword drawn and ready, but he was looking at Dimitri, not Edelgard. “This is bad.” Felix mouthed at her. Byleth looked back to Dimitri and took a small step forward. 

“Is this some kind of twisted joke?!” He screamed at his stepsister. He readied his lance and took a step forward, crushing Edelgard’s fallen mask in pieces under his boot. Byleth rushed forward and tried to hold him back. If Edelgard was truly the Flame Emperor, they needed to be careful, even if the battalion with her was small, she may have more reinforcements. He couldn’t just rush in and attack. Her hand brushed his shoulder, but he pushed her away.

“I’ve been looking for you, _Flame Emperor_ …” Dimitri said, with a sneer. He took another step forward. Neither Edelgard nor the battalion of soldiers who surrounded her moved. “Years ago, at Duscar, I saw that armor on the field. Giving orders. This whole time, it was you.”

“That was not me, Dimitri. You may have seen this same armor, but it was not me inside it.” Edelgard said, in her regular tone of voice, as if they were discussing the weather and not an assassination that led to the genocide of almost all of Duscar. Her voice may have betrayed nothing, but she raised her axe as Dimitri continued to walk towards her. 

“As if that makes a difference.” He shook his head. “The Flame Emperor took everything from me! You are the Flame Emperor. So, I will take that head from your shoulders and hang it from the gates of Enbarr!” He rushed forward and it was as if time stood still. For a moment, Byleth thought she had activated the divine pulse. She didn’t. He was just moving that fast, cutting through her soldiers as if they were no more than training dummies. He threw a javelin that narrowly missed Edelgard, and yet she still didn’t move. Her soldiers were falling quickly. The last one ran at him and Dimitri put his hand out, holding the man from the face. Byleth assumed he would push the man away, instead his crest activated, and they heard a sickening crunch as the man’s skull was crushed in Dimitri’s hand. Edelgard alone was left standing. He had taken out all six of her soldiers by himself, in less than a minute. He walked up and stood towering over her.

“Before I break your neck, there is one thing I must ask you.” Dimitri growled. 

“Stay out of my way.” Edelgard stood firm.

Dimitri pointed his lance in her face. “I don’t recall giving you permission to speak. Answer my question. That is all you have left to do. Flame Emperor…” He shook his head and looked at her with pure disgust. “No... Edelgard. Tell me now. Why did you cause such a tragedy?”

She said nothing, did nothing except look up at him in contempt. 

Dimitri laughed and got even closer to her. “It was foolish to think I could reason with a lowly beast. You are a monster.” Dimitri raised his lance. There was a blinding flash of light and Hubert appeared beside Edelgard, surprising Dimitri enough to pause his attack. 

“Come, Hubert.” Edelgard held out her hand to him. Hubert took it and they disappeared. Dimitri dropped to his knees in frustration, banging his fists on the stone floor. Byleth heard a crunching sound and for a moment thought he had broken his knuckles, until she saw that he had cracked the stone floor. 

“To flee is futile, wicked girl. The Church of Seiros will raise its entire army against you until you have been captured and punished!” Rhea shouted after Edelgard as if she could still hear her. Seteth walked up to Rhea and put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her, but she shoved it away. “They have defiled the Holy Tomb and dishonored the goddess. This crime will never be erased!"

Byleth was torn between going to Dimitri or going to Rhea, but the decision was made for her. “Come, Professor, Seteth…” Rhea commanded. “Let us go to my office and plan for our next course of action. The rest of you...await orders.” Rhea turned to enter the lift that had brought them below the ground. 

Before she followed, Byleth went to where Dimitri was still kneeling on the floor and put her hand on his shoulder. “Dimitri...”

“We weren’t able to defeat her.” He put his hand on her hand and shook his head. Deduce stepped up behind him. “I will kill Edelgard. With my own hands. I swear it, Professor!” He said, not looking at her. “For both of us. I swear I will end her.”

Byleth looked to Dedue, then to Felix, Sylvain, and Ingrid in a silent plea. Ingrid nodded and rushed toward Dimitri. Byleth turned and joined Seteth and Rhea in the lift, seeing that Flayn had joined them as well. 

***

“This is unforgivable...I cannot fathom that the heir to the Adrestian Empire would embark on such a violent course of action.” Rhea paced furiously as she spoke. "I can assure you we have not heard the last of them. We are in for a fight." She stood in front of Byleth and took her hands. “Professor, listen closely. If our enemies invade the monastery, I will have no choice but to stand upon the battlefield. If something happens to me...I am entrusting my sacred duties to you.”

“I don’t understand. Why me?” Byleth said. "Wouldn’t Seteth be a better choice?" 

Seteth sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't understand either, Rhea. Why would you entrust Garreg Mach and the church to Professor Eisner? First the random appointment to the professorship, giving her the sword of the creator, and now this..." Seteth pressed her. “Rhea, please talk to us. What are you hiding? What is the meaning of all of this?”

“You must have guessed by now, Seteth. The truth of who she is.”

“Clearly not, or I would not be asking!” Seteth shouted. Byleth had never heard him raise his voice. “You have still not even explained to me why she called you her grandmother.”

“Seteth…” Byleth turned to him. “My mother was Sitri, did you know her?”

The color drained from Seteth’s face and he nodded. “The baby thought to have died in the fire all those years ago…” He looked at Byleth “...has returned to us?”

Flayn stepped forward. She had been quiet through all of the conversation so far. “Does this mean that the professor...is she one of us?”

“Yes, and no. In a way she is one of us, but she is also much more.” Rhea sat down, looking defeated.

“What does that mean? There are questions I have that you said you would answer after the ceremony in the tomb. The ceremony is over. I want the whole truth.” Byleth kneeled at Rhea’s side. “Please, you say I am one of you, but not. What are you? What am I?”

“She deserves answers, Rhea.” Seteth stared daggers at Rhea. “It is time for us to stop hiding the truth about the about us. If she truly is Sitri's daughter, it is time for us to tell the professor everything.” 

“Enough!” Rhea threw her hands up. “No more, I beg of you. I thought...there in the Holy Tomb...I would be able to see our dearest wishes to fruition. When I was young, I heard her voice there...I was so sure...."

“What did you think was going to happen down there, when I sat on that throne?” Byleth asked. “You weren’t just hoping for me to receive a revelation.”

“No I was not. Dear child...I will now tell you everything. We...Seteth, Flayn and I, are...Nabatean. We are the last of the children of the goddess. Sothis... was my mother.” Rhea paused and Byleth tried to wrap her head around what that meant. Rhea took a deep breath and continued. “You, my dear professor, as Sitri’s daughter you are part Nabatean as well, but you are also a vessel. One who carries the power of the progenitor god within. I had hoped that, with your change, you would become one with the power contained within, and the progenitor god would return to this world.”

“You thought...I would become Sothis?” Byleth asked standing up and moving away from Rhea. Seteth and Flayn looked to Rhea, shocked.

“Yes.” Rhea brought her hand to cover her mouth, as if surprised that she had admitted it. “I was there the day your mother brought you forth into this world. Sitri had always been frail. Giving birth proved to be too much for her in the end. On that fated day, it looked as though neither of you would survive. In those final moments, she spoke, saying, “My heart...give it to my child.”

“I have my mother’s heart?” Byleth asked, putting her palm to her chest. “But it doesn’t beat. How is that possible?”

“That is correct, the heart that lies within your chest is none other than hers. It was the only way you could be saved. It is not beating for you, just as it never beat for her. The heart within you, which was hers before, it is the crest stone of the progenitor god…the heart of Sothis.”

Byleth’s mouth opened in surprise. “How? How did you have Sothis’ heart? How did my mother end up with it?”

“Rhea...that is why the Sword of the Creator is missing it’s stone. You...removed it? And you placed it inside of Sitri?” Seteth shook his head. “Why?”

“I hid her crest stone inside Sitri, and later you, in order to revive my mother. Sweet child...I am sorry. I wanted to see my mother...even if it meant doing that which is forbidden.” Silent tears fell down Rhea’s face. “I thought I could regain all I had lost, if only I could revive her. And so I tried to bring her back by burying a crest stone within a child from Sothis’ own bloodline. But Sitri grew up lacking the conscience of the progenitor god. Then she fell in love Jeralt, whose life I had saved using the power of my blood, Sothis’ blood. That means you are the child of a mother born of the progenitor god’s blood, and a father who carried my own blood. With the addition of the crest stone, I knew, deep in my heart that you would be capable of housing the conscience of the progenitor god.”

“You were right.” Byleth admitted. “Sothis awoke in me shortly before we came to the monastery, but she said she had been with me my whole life.”

“You spoke to her?” Flayn rushed up to Byleth. “What did she say?” Rhea and Seteth also looked to her for an answer. 

Byleth shrugged and smiled softly, her eyes filling with tears. “What didn’t she say? She never shut up.” Rhea looked scandalized, but Flayn laughed.

“That does sound like her.” Seteth grinned.

“And yet she merely gifted her power to you and then disappeared once more.” Rhea shook her head. “My dearest wish did not come true...but perhaps I was wrong to want that, because here you are, still with us, and I am happy that you are. This is why, if anything happens to me, I would like you to be my successor.” Rhea stood up. “You alone wield the power of the progenitor god, even I have never been able to claim that. You are part Sothis, part Sitri, part Jeralt, and part of me as well. Byleth, this duty is yours and yours alone.”

“We have protected Garreg Mach, and all of Fodlan for a very long time.” Seteth walked over and pulled Byleth into a hug and Byleth almost fainted from surprise. “It appears that you are part of our small family, and as such, that duty falls to you as well.”

Flayn flew in to hug Byleth on the opposite side from Seteth. “I am so happy that you are part of our family, Professor. I had hoped you would be!” She giggled. “Although I admit I had hoped that you would become family by marrying my father, but this is even better!” Seteth blanched and Byleth laughed, hugging Flayn tighter. Rhea walked up to the group and smiled, although she did not join in the group hug. 

“It has been a long day, and I fear we are in for a long road ahead of us. We can continue this discussion tomorrow morning over tea and breakfast, and you can ask anything you want. We must stand strong together if we are to stand against that girl and the Imperial army.” Rhea took one of Byleth’s hands. “No more secrets, I promise you. All of you.” She looked at Seteth.

“I’ll believe that when I see it, Seiros.” He said, sarcastically, crossing his arms.

“Seiros?!” Byleth turned to Rhea.

“I would say that is a story for tomorrow, Cichol." Rhea replied, smirking at Seteth, who narrowed his eyes at her.

“Cichol?! As in Saint Seiros and Saint Cichol?” Byleth turned to Flayn.

“And Saint Cethleann, of course!” Flayn replied with a giggle and a playful curtsy. 

Byleth shook her head. She couldn't believe it, and yet knew it to be true all the same. She felt happier than she had since her father died. She would always miss her dad, but it was so nice to be able to look forward to having breakfast with her family in the morning, and she had a hundred questions for them. Somewhere in the corner of her happiness she was also worried about Dimitri. The revelation of Edelgard as the Flame Emperor seemed to break him, and she only hoped she'd be able to help him put himself together the way he'd helped her, but she was afraid that what she'd seen of his behavior in the Holy Tomb was only a look at the boar that Felix talked about. If Sothis awakening allowed her to feel emotions for the first time, it seemed merging with her was making her feel everything more strongly, and she was nearly always feeling two or more things at once now. It was torture and she hated it, and she loved it. How she wished Sothis was there to explain it all to her.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love the friend dynamic between those three and I feel like I'd enjoy hanging out with them. Coming up...we prepare for war!
> 
> Your comments and kudos inspire and enliven me!


	9. War on the Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War is coming, Garreg Mach prepares. Dimitri and Byleth sleep together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's Dimileth week apparently? Here is my offering even though it doesn't fit the prompt for today (Beloved) literally, it fits metaphorically. No shenanigans yet. They get a bit steamy, but really only fall asleep. I loved writing this, I hope you enjoy reading it.

**24th Lone Moon**

**Imperial Year 1180**

Byleth awoke earlier than usual. In her life as a Mercenary, she almost always rose with the sun. Often, the company would have to travel for days before getting to their next job, so traveling at first light was routine. Since becoming a professor, her job was only a quick walk away. With that and having a proper bed and room of her own for the first time in her life, she had begun sleeping in much later. Not that morning. She lay in bed stretching and wondered what she was going to talk about in class that day, or the whole week for that matter. It was the final week of classes before graduation. All of her students had passed their final exams and had been certified into their Master classes. She was not sure she had anything left to teach them, or if there was anything else they needed to know. Except for maybe how to survive a war – because war was on the horizon. _Metaphorically._ In reality, the war was somewhere beyond the horizon, but almost certainly marching in their direction from Enbarr. Unfortunately for Byleth, although she had been through easily hundreds of battles in her life, war was a different animal. One that she knew nothing about. What advice could she possibly give them? Today’s lesson: Don’t die! Tomorrow: How to kill your former classmates! In the weeks since Edelgard’s unmasking, life at Garreg Mach had made for some interesting conversations.

A knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts. “Who is it?” she called, getting up and throwing her cloak on over her tank top and shorts and putting on her glasses. She opened the door to reveal Alois.

“Good Morning, Byleth!” he roared, always a little too loud to Byleth’s ears, but especially in the morning. “I’m afraid we are cancelling classes today. All staff and class leaders…well the two remaining class leaders, are to meet with Lady Rhea in the Cardinals’ Room at the eighth bell.”

Byleth blinked and processed Alois’ words. She would need to get Dimitri, send Felix to tell the rest of the Lions and her newly adopted Eagle students about the schedule change. Perhaps she should also grab Ferdinand so that the Eagles had a representative at the meeting, and make sure Claude made it there, just in case Hanneman forgot to pass on the news. Realizing that Alois was still awaiting her response, said flatly. “There go my plans to take my class fishing all day.” Alois laughed.

“If only I could find a way to _lure_ you to the meeting instead!” Byleth quirked an eyebrow at Alois’ joke. “You know _lure,_ like a fishing lure!” Byleth closed her eyes and shook her head, which only made Alois laugh more. “Jeralt used to make that exact same face!” He laughed as he turned and took his leave. “See you at the meeting!” he called. Byleth could hear his booming laugh echo through the courtyard, even with the door closed.

After getting dressed, Byleth climbed the stairs to the second floor of the dormitory and knocked on Claude’s door, Felix’s door, and finally on Dimitri’s in quick succession. She was grateful for the convenience of having them all next door to each other, even if Felix wasn’t thrilled with the arrangement most of the time. Felix opened his door first, still in his pajamas, and looking surprised to see Byleth.

“Oh, it’s you. The sun isn’t even fully up yet. Did you wake me this early to ask me if I want to spar? Because that’s the only acceptable reason.”

“No.” Byleth smirked, and Felix’s face noticeably fell. At that moment Dimitri opened his door and stepped into the hallway, already dressed for the day. She wondered what time he woke up, but then looked closer at the dark circles under his eyes and figured he most likely never went to sleep.

“Good morning Felix...Professor. What can I do for you so early this morning?”

Felix scoffed. “That’s what I’d like to know.”

“Well, we’re waiting for one more.” Byleth said as she walked back to Claude’s door and knocked again. “I’d rather not repeat myself.” Felix rolled his eyes and went to close his door.

“I’m going to get dressed then. Stop wasting my time and knock again when you’re actually ready talk to me.”

“Felix! Do not speak to our professor in that manner.” Dimitri called to him as he disappeared behind his slamming door leaving Dimitri and Byleth alone in the hallway. He smiled at her. She could not help but drop her gaze to his lips before forcing herself to look him in the eye instead. Eye contact was another thing Byleth struggled with normally. It made her rather uncomfortable to look most people in the eye. With Dimitri, she had the opposite problem. She looked him in the eye and wanted to stay there forever. 

“Thank you for defending my honor, Dimitri.” she whispered, with a smile of her own. Dimitri blushed. She continued to hold his gaze as she walked backward to knock on Claude’s door for a third time, trying not to think of her very handsome house leader standing in front of her. She was definitely not thinking of the few kisses they had shared and how soft his lips were, and she absolutely was not wanting him to kiss her again. Because she was still his professor and they couldn't be together while she was. She forced herself to look away from Dimitri’s captivating blue eyes and instead shouted back through Felix’s door. “You better be nice to me Felix or I’ll bust you back down to Myrmidon and make you come back to the academy again next year.” She went from knocking to banging on Claude’s door.

Felix opened his door, now fully dressed and re-doing his ponytail. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” She took in his appearance. “I’m curious, do you sleep with your clothes on under your pajamas? How did you get dressed so fast?”

Felix shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m fast.”

“You even have your shoes on. You were barefoot 20 seconds ago.”

“You exaggerate.”

“I do not. I am perfectly serious at all times.” Byleth said as she knocked repeatedly on Claude’s door with both fists as if she were practicing brawling on it.

“Seriously weird maybe.”

Dimitri watched the rapid-fire verbal spar with wide eyes. Byleth was the one person he had met who could keep up with Felix, verbally or physically, since Glenn.

 _"Maybe they are more than just friends? My brother is a better man and a better match for her than you will ever be."_ Glenn hissed at his ear. " _She doesn’t_ _love you. She has been avoiding you...and who can blame her? She saw what a monster you are and couldn’t handle it. You’re better off without her. She’s a distraction you don’t need."_ Dimitri closed his eyes in frustration and tried to pass it off as sleepiness when Claude finally opened his door.

“I heard the words ‘seriously weird’. I assume you're calling for me?” Claude said with a laugh. Byleth stood in front of his now open door with her hands still raised in fists. A passerby would have thought she was challenging Claude to a fistfight. Claude reached out and lowered her hands.

“No, Byleth is the weird one.” Felix answered. “You’re strange maybe, but nowhere in the same league as Eisner here.”

“Thank you, Felix, I’m flattered.” Byleth turned to Claude. “I have been knocking for a while now, what took you so long? I was about to have Dimitri break your door down.”

“I sleep with earplugs so I can’t hear Lorenz snoring next door.”

“Huh. Really?” Claude nodded and held up a piece of cotton and pointed to a matching piece in his left ear. “Wow. Well, as much as I’d love to get into _that,_ I have news about something important. Claude, I’m assuming that you haven’t heard from Hanneman yet this morning?” Claude shook his head. “I figured. Listen, classes are cancelled today. Staff and House Leaders have been summoned to a meeting with Lady Rhea. I need the two of you…” she gestured to Dimitri and Claude “…to meet me in the Cardinals' Room for the meeting at eighth bell. Dimitri, since you are already dressed, can you see if Ferdinand wants to join us as well, to represent the remaining Black Eagles? I’m sure he’ll say yes.” Dimitri nodded. “Felix, can you go pass on the message to everyone that we won’t be having class today? All Lions, Eagles, and Deer.” Felix scowled. "Please."

“Why do I get messenger duty?”

“Because I trust you. And you’re the fastest.”

“I’ll just tell Annette, she’ll make sure everyone knows in ten minutes, five if I tell her it’s a secret.” He turned to walk toward the stairs, calling over his shoulder, “But you still owe me a spar for waking me up early, By.”

“Sure thing, Felix.” She replied, turning back to Claude and Dimitri. “Are you going to the meeting in that?” she gestured to Claude’s pajamas.

“What, are you saying my sexy, stripped pajamas aren’t the very height of fashion? Because I disagree.” Claude ran his hands down the front of his pajama top. “Such fine silk and beautiful colors!”

“Claude, go get dressed.”

“Yeah, yeah.” he mumbled and disappeared back into his room leaving Byleth alone with Dimitri again. 

Being alone with Dimitri was a bad idea and she had continued avoiding being alone with him as much as possible, even though the engagement rumor was largely forgotten and replaced by gossip about Edelgard being the Flame Emperor. She was mostly avoiding him because once she'd realized she loved him during her conversation with Felix, she didn't trust herself to not blurt it out. Especially since he'd been looking haggard since that night in the Holy Tomb, and she felt powerless to help him. She just wanted to hold and comfort him. She could tell that he was slipping, but he refused to admit it. She wanted desperately to reach out and caress his face and tell him she was there for him. But if she did that, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from kissing him. Even though she had seen his ferocity for herself the night in the Holy Tomb, something in her wanted him just as much, if not more. She should've just left, but she couldn't help herself.

"Did you get any sleep last night, Dimitri?" 

He sighed. First, he had Dedue being a mother hen and now she was doing it too. "I am fine, I assure you."

"That wasn't the question." She pressed.

"Yes, I slept just fine, thank you for asking." He hated not telling her the truth, but he did not want her to worry.

She nodded slowly. “So... you’re lying to me now. That's new and disappointing." Dimitri looked down at his feet but said nothing. Byleth sighed. She couldn’t help him if he didn’t let her. "I'll see you at the meeting, Dimitri. Don’t forget Ferdinand.” She turned to follow Felix down the stairs before she did or said anything stupid. Maybe she would see if Leonie was free for breakfast before the meeting.

By the eighth toll of the cathedral’s bells, they were all seated in the Cardinals’ Room as requested. Lady Rhea was solemn at the head of the table, with Seteth seated at her right hand looking stressed and more disheveled than Byleth had ever seen him. Alois, as acting Captain of the Knights of Seiros, was seated on Rhea’s left holding a large tankard of what smelled like coffee. Catherine, Shamir, and Gilbert were also there representing the Knights on Alois’ side of the table. On Gilbert’s other side, were Yuri and Anna. Seated on Seteth’s side of the table were Hanneman, Manuela, and Byleth, then Dimitri, Claude, and Ferdinand. Rhea stood and addressed the room.

“Let us recount the situation as it stands. That wicked girl has deposed her father and taken her position as the Emperor of Adrestia. The Adrestian Empire has officially declared war upon the Church of Seiros, as well as our allies. One of our scouts returned this morning with news. It is as we have feared. The Imperial Army seems to be making their preparations to march for an assault on Garreg Mach. If the information we have is to be believed, they will be at our gates a week from tomorrow.” She paused as those around the table expressed varying degrees of shock. “We must decide, as a church, as a school, and as a community, what we must do to protect those who reside within our walls, and how to swiftly and without hesitation, deal with those who seek to do us harm.”

“One week.” Seteth shook his head. “That is not enough time. It will require all of our efforts just to prepare our defenses before then.”

“What is her objective?” Byleth asked.

“There is no question on that front.” Seteth answered. “She clearly wishes to conquer all of Fodlan. And in order to achieve her own selfish ambitions, she plotted with ill meaning strangers and defiled the Holy Tomb. We don't know who they are yet.”

“Regardless of who their mysterious new allies are, we must stop the Empire...and quickly.” Rhea stated decisively. 

The hours passed as they hashed out details. The merchants in the Marketplace would stay open through the week and then close, save the armory and blacksmith. Yuri would be helping the knights with the evacuation of everyone in Abyss, unless they wanted to stay and join the fight. Everyone incapable or unwilling to fight would be evacuated by Friday. All the church staff; nuns, priests, and bishops, would go. The orphanage and neighboring village at the base of the hill would be told to evacuate as well.

Rhea turned her attention to Seteth’s side of the table. “As for the school, my dear professors and house leaders, all the undergraduate students will need to be informed that classes are being cut a bit short and they have been given leave to go home for the year. As for those of you in the Officer’s Academy, as of this moment, you are no longer students, but rather leaders from your territories. Gather your classmates and let them know you have all been given a choice. Those of you who want to stay and fight for Garreg Mach are welcome to stay. If you have those in your class who do not wish to fight, they can also be given leave to go home, but keep in mind that this is the exact situation for which you have been training. For those students who wish to stay, we will hold a small graduation ceremony on Saturday as planned, but please have everyone staying write or messenger home, and let their families know not to come if they had been planning to do so. While we might be able to use the extra fighters, we would not want anyone to be ambushed on their way here.”

Rhea paused and looked directly at Ferdinand. “I realize that girl’s actions have made the choice exceptionally difficult for you remaining Black Eagles. We are proud of the Black Eagle house and would love for you all to stay and fight alongside us. That said, you are, of course, also free to go home.” Her serene face turned hard. “But know this, if you choose to fight for her cause, you will be given no mercy.” Ferdinand nodded solemnly. At the mention of Edelgard, Byleth noticed Dimitri’s grip on the table tightened. Rhea schooled her expression back into her practiced serenity and looked around at everyone in the room once more. 

“Finally, I have an announcement that brings me great pride.” She looked at Byleth. “In times of turmoil it is routine for a successor to be named in the event that something should befall the Archbishop. I have asked Professor Byleth Eisner to take on the sacred duty, and she has accepted.” There was a round of polite applause around the table. Dimitri and Claude both looked at her in surprise. “She is hereby promoted to the position of Primary Bishop, with the expectation that she will someday succeed me as Archbishop.” 

“Good going, Eisner!” Catherine beamed at her. Byleth blushed furiously. She had not expected for Rhea to announce her new role to everyone.

“Now…” Rhea continued. “I must ask you, above all, do not succumb to fear of the coming events. War is frightening, but Garreg Mach has seen war before and we have never fallen. We will not fall now. The Goddess will protect us.” With a final look around the room, Rhea dismissed them.

***

**29th Lone Moon**

**Imperial Year 1180**

The week passed in a flurry of activity. Hanneman and Manuela were busy helping the younger students with evacuation, so the former students of the Officer’s Academy were left under Byleth’s command. She could not have been prouder of her students. All the students were given the same choice – to leave, or to stay and fight, and they all made the decision to stay, even those Byleth thought for sure would leave. Hilda, who usually tried to get out of doing anything at all, was breaking a sweat helping Felix and Caspar with weapon inventory and maintenance. Gentle Linhardt, who hated the sight of blood and the sounds of battle, gathered all the remaining mages and together they scoured their tomes for any spells that might be useful. And Bernadetta, sweet shy Bernie, was out of her room and helping Mercedes and Annette with those in the village, assisting them in packing their meager belongings and preparing for evacuation.

Word came on Saturday afternoon, just after the graduation ceremony. The Imperial Army was on the move. They would arrive in a few days. Byleth spent those days trying her best to keep them all busy, not only so they would be well prepared, but so they could not sit and think themselves into a panic. Through it all, Dimitri remained by her side and she couldn’t help but lament the fact that she was officially no longer his professor, as he was no longer a student, but it was not the right time for them to be together, even if he had said he wanted to be with her after graduation. He'd said that before the world was turned upside-down. She was fairly sure Dimitri was slowly losing his mind from a combination of stress and insomnia and the Imperial army was due to attack any day. What did she expect, for him to have gotten his graduation badge and then turned around and swept her off her feet even with everything that was happening? Of course, she didn't expect that, but she couldn't help but feel disappointed, which meant she had expected something. She was doing her rounds the Sunday night before the invasion and came upon him in the training grounds. 

He hadn't heard her come in. She stood in the shadows and watched him attack a training dummy. He had improved immensely since the beginning of the year, his practiced and proper form giving way to the movements of a true warrior. It was a warm night and he'd removed his shirt. She could see the muscles in his chest and arms flex with every movement and blushed, thinking about some of the things Leonie had told her about Raphael, and how much she wanted to do those things with Dimitri. She felt pure desire course through her and had to stop herself from walking up to him and tackling him to ground right then and there. She shook her head at herself; she was a mess. She was about to leave the training grounds and leave him alone when he turned his back to her to get a drink of water. She brought her hand to her mouth. It was dark in the training room with only a few torches lit, but she could still see that his back was covered in scars. A long vicious one that ran almost the length of his entire back, and what looked like burn scars all over. 

He'd told her about his injuries from Duscar. How he'd been cleaved in the back by the same axe that took his father’s head and lay shielding Dedue from the flames until they were found by Gilbert, barely but miraculously hanging on to life. Dimitri had told her about it, but she had never seen the evidence of the attack. If the physical scars were that bad, she couldn't imagine the mental and emotional scars he bore. She'd been able to stop herself from trying to seduce him, but she couldn’t stop herself from trying to comfort him. She stepped forward quietly. He must have been lost in thought himself because he didn't notice her until she was a few inches away from touching him. She saw his muscles tense and watched as his grip around his lance tightened.

"Dimitri, it's just me." She said softly. The grip on his lance loosened but he seemed to tense even more. 

"Professor..." He knew her voice of course. He didn't turn to face her. He knew that she could see his back. It was too late for him to hide it. He only ever trained without a shirt late at night when he thought he was alone, He bathed at night or early morning when the sauna and bathhouse were empty. Even on long marches and camping out, he made sure nobody could see it. He hated the pity and inevitable questions that came with revealing his scars to people. But she was not just anyone. He could not hide anything from her. He felt her hand touch the base of his neck where his scar started and trace it down the length of his spine lightly. He felt her breath on his skin, followed by the shame of feeling himself get an erection. Few had seen, and nobody had touched his bare back since the healers when he was thirteen. He wondered what it would feel like for her to touch him everywhere. “What...are you doing?” He squirmed and tried to adjust himself without using his hands. He was happy she could not see his face, or the front of his pants. He had long ago come to expect his body’s reaction to her, but that did not mean he wanted her to see it. He felt the familiar tingle of healing magic. He chuckled humorlessly. "Ah, I see. I am afraid it is four years too late for healing magic on that particular wound."

"Maybe." She ran her hand back up along the axe scar then on to his burn scars and released magic there as well. "But I have my own scars, and I was raised by and with mercenaries. I know that scar tissue can hurt if left untreated. Tell me it isn't helping, and I'll stop."

He hummed in response. She was worried about scar tissue; it was almost laughable. It had been a miracle that the blow that left that scar had not killed him. His attacker must have assumed he had not needed to use a lot of strength to hit a kid in the back. He had not counted on that kid having a crest of Blaiddyd. And he did not realize he should have removed the axe before he ran like the coward he was. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. On the other hand, his scars _were_ uncomfortable, tight and itchy most of the time, often painful. Her healing magic, and her hands, which were running all over his back, felt amazing. He swallowed. "It...it is helping." 

"Imagine that." She finished the spell. "Any other scars I can help with?" He finally turned to face her. His jaw twitched. "Dimitri?"

"No. Not physical ones." He replied. He looked so sad. So tired. She wished she could take the weight from his shoulders and carry it herself. His broad, muscular shoulders... She chastised herself in her head. There he was, in obvious anguish, and she couldn’t keep her mind from wandering. 

"Healing magic cannot help with the other scars left behind from Duscar, professor. Only revenge can. Only taking her head will end the suffering. And it is so close. She will be here soon, and I can fight her and finally end this."

She didn't want to send him down a revenge spiral, so she changed the subject in an attempt to redirect him. "Speaking of fighting...you'd be in a much better place to do that if you slept. When was the last time you got a decent night's sleep?"

She had caught him in his lie the week previously and he had not liked how it felt to lie to her. He scoffed. "Years. It has been years." She tilted her head at him. "Since Duscar I have been plagued by headaches that make it difficult to sleep and I often have nightmares when I do. I do not sleep if I can help it.” He shrugged. “My crest helps me with stamina, so it has never bothered me in battle. I will be more than physically capable of fighting her, do not worry about that."

"I'm not worried about you physically, Dimitri. Sleep does more than restore your body. Not sleeping will wreak havoc on your mind, your emotions…Do you have a headache right now? Is that why you're here training instead of sleeping." He nodded. She took a step forward and furrowed her brow, looking at his head. She held up her hand and the glow of healing magic pooled in her palm. "May I try something?" She didn’t wait for him to answer. She manipulated the magic so that it split and seemed to come from the tips of her fingers on both hands.

His mouth dropped open. "How are you doing that?" 

She shrugged. "It’s something Rhea showed me. Since merging with the goddess, she and Manuela have been training me in faith magic more. It's...weird to describe, but stronger than a regular Heal or Physic spell.” She looked at him curiously. “Have you ever seen a healer or physician about your headaches?" He shook his head sheepishly. She sighed. "Why does that not surprise me?" She figured he wouldn't answer that so she didn’t wait for him to do so. "Describe your headache for me. Where is it in your head and what does it feel like?"

"Well…" He frowned in thought. He had never had to describe a headache. "It feels like squeezing and throbbing here…" He gestured to the sides of his head. "...and there is a sort of low buzzing sound…all over really." He shook his head. "But please do not concern yourself with this. It is not important."

"It's important to me." She brought her index and middle fingers to each of his temples and he could see the light of the magic coming from them. "Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and concentrate on the squeezing feeling you talked about." 

He did as she said. He felt the warmth of the magic flow from her fingers and relax his face and jaw. He tried to concentrate on the squeezing pain, but soon found he could no longer feel it. He opened his eyes in shock. "Did it work?" She asked. 

"Yes." He whispered in awe.

"Good!" She smiled the biggest brightest smile he had ever seen on her face. He had thought her small smiles were mesmerizing. He couldn’t help but smile with her. He thought she was so beautiful in that moment that he almost pulled her close and kissed her. But then he remembered that she had been avoiding him and may have reconsidered wanting to be with him since seeing what a monster he could be firsthand. She probably just pitied him. His smile faltered. Hers did not.

"Ok, I have an idea...come with me." She turned to walk out of the training grounds, knowing he would follow her. He quickly put his training lance on the rack, threw on his shirt without buttoning it and caught up to her. They walked to her quarters where she went in and started digging in her wardrobe. He waited outside the door watching. 

"Here we go!" She walked to the door and handed him a dark gray tunic and soft black pants. "These were my dad’s, but they should fit...more or less." She pointed to the stairs next door to her room that led to the sauna and baths. "Go take a warm bath, put these on, and come back. I'll leave the door open."

"But…"

"No buts." She turned him around and gave him a push. "Indulge me, please." 

What else could he do but listen to her? True, she was no longer his professor, but following her commands was still ingrained in him. He sat in the hot bath and thought about the kinds of commands he would rather get from her and felt himself get aroused again. He considered taking care of it on his own, but she was waiting for him, so he did not have the luxury of time. He got out of the bath, got dressed, and threw his dirty clothing in the laundry. He felt a little strange not wearing underwear while wearing another man’s pants, but he could not put on his dirty ones and he was not about to ask to borrow a pair. He tried not to think about it. He picked up his shoes and walked barefoot back to her room. Jeralt’s clothes were a little loose, but something in him was flattered that she was letting him wear them. Perhaps she did not find him disgusting after all. He walked up to her open door and knocked on the door frame. She turned to him and smiled.

“Come in.” She closed the door behind him, took his shoes from his hand and put them in the corner of the room. In the time he had been gone, she had lit a few candles for light, and prepared tea. “Sit.” She pushed him towards her bed, and he sat on it awkwardly. He could not believe he was sitting on her bed wearing her dad’s pants and no underwear. She had changed into a pair of dark blue shorts and a matching tank top, and her hair was piled messily on her head. His eye followed the curve of her neck, down the thin straps of her top. She walked over to him and gave him a cup of tea. With him sitting and her standing, her breasts were practically at eye-level and he could not stop staring. He blushed as he took a sip to tea and hoped she could not see it. He sighed. He did not think he would ever be able to smell chamomile again and not think of her. 

“Are you not going to have tea?” He asked, noticing she was just sitting in her desk chair watching him owlishly. 

She shook her head. “No, this experiment is about you. Finish the tea and then lie down.” His eyes widened and she pretended not to notice. “Wait don’t lie down, actually...Is your hair still wet?” She stood up, walked to his side, and ran her fingers through his damp hair. He shivered beneath her hands and moved his free hand to rest on her hip as he looked up at her. She grinned. She was excited by the fact that her touch would make him react that way, but her plan for the night was to get him to sleep – nothing more. She stepped away, back to her wardrobe, and pulled out an extra towel. She climbed on her bed and sat cross-legged behind him and started to gently dry his hair. After a few moments, he leaned forward and put his teacup down, then shifted on the bed to face her. 

"Professor…" He reached for her and caressed her cheek.

"I'm not your…" 

She didn't get to finish reminding him that he should be calling her by her name. He leaned forward and kissed her, his other hand falling to her waist. They had kissed on a few previous occasions, of course. Short, sweet, innocent kisses. Kisses that conveyed their growing feelings, sealed their promises to each other, and comforted through grief. He had thought of them frequently over the last few months. He thought about them most when he lay in bed late at night, not sleeping and trying to drown out his headaches and the voices of the dead. They were the only thoughts that stilled the voices at all, so he thought about them almost nightly. He had built those stolen kisses up in his mind as being the height of passion. He clearly did not know anything about what passion was. He realized that every time they had kissed before, they were always shy, and they moved away from each other quickly. Now, they kissed and didn't disengage. The end of each kiss brought the beginning of another. He wanted more.

He reached up and pulled the clip in her hair, accidentally breaking it in the process. Her hair fell around her shoulders and he buried his fingers in it. She gasped lightly and he took the opportunity of her open mouth to open his own and explore. A gentle touch of her tongue on his and he felt like he had been hit by an errant Thoron spell. Dimitri felt a thundering in his chest and a hunger he hadn't felt since losing his sense of taste. He wished that he could taste her. He knew he couldn't, but it didn't stop him from trying. The feral thing in him that Felix called a boar wanted to devour her. Their tongues hungrily intertwined, and it was far messier than he would have thought, with a lot of excessive saliva and their teeth clattering occasionally, but what they lacked in experience, they made up for with enthusiasm.

"Wait, sorry." Byleth pulled away and tried to catch her breath. "I have to do something about these stupid things, they're smashing my face." She reached up and moved her glasses to the top of her head and blinked a few times to allow her eyes to adjust. 

Dimitri stared. "You look so different when you aren't wearing them."

"You look different when I'm not when I'm not wearing them." She squinted and cupped his face. 

"Can you still see me?"

"Of course." With her hands still on his cheeks, she pushed him away. "You're just a blurrier the further away you are." She pulled him closer again. "I can see you better the closer you are."

"I'll just have to stay close." He captured her mouth again, only for her to pull away a minute later.

She shook her head slightly with a small laugh. "Wait, what am I doing?” She laughed into his chest. “I'm trying to get you to relax and I’m failing miserably."

"Nonsense. I am relaxed." He tried to pull her to him again. “I have never felt more relaxed.” She put her hands on his chest and pushed him back. She pulled her glasses back on and took in his flushed face, his quick breathing, his elevated heartbeat, and the very noticeable bulge in his pants. 

"Hmmm...You look pretty excited to me...not at all relaxed." She climbed off the bed and bent to pick up the teacup on the floor front of him. He watched her. She had kissed him...a lot. She still wanted him. He was surprised and grateful. He was ravenous. He would not let her escape again. She put the empty teacup on her desk and his arms encircled her waist and pulled her back to him. She laughed. "Fine." She leaned down and pressed her lips almost to his. "One more kiss, and then we get you to sleep." He grumbled but nodded. One kiss could last a long time. He reached out and took her glasses off and set them aside. Their lips met again and again, and his arms tightened around her, pulling her down and she had to straddle him or otherwise lose her balance. He experimentally moved his hips against her. She groaned and pulled away from the kiss but didn't stand up. "This is really hard…um... difficult I mean. You're making this difficult." She moved her hips back against him. He drew a gasping breath and ground back, matching her rhythm, holding her flush against him and kissing along her jaw. “Dimitri… How am I supposed to stop when you feel... so good?” 

“Do not blame me for that...It is your doing after all.” He winced, but chuckled. He looked at her, his pupils blown, and lips swollen. "Do we...have to stop?"

She nodded and brushed her fingers along his jaw. "I'm sorry.”

"It is quite alright." He flushed and buried his head in her neck, he peppered it with kisses before whispering in her ear. "I am rather used to being in this state around you. 

She sighed heavily and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I swear If I wasn't so worried about your lack of sleep…this would be a very different conversation." He groaned as she disentangled herself from his arms and put her glasses back on. 

"Stop worrying. I can sleep another time."

"You could, but we both know you won't." He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand and cut him off. "Dimitri, do you trust me?"

"Unequivocally."

"Ok, then…" She cupped his face in both hands. "Trust me when I tell you that not sleeping for weeks at a time will affect you negatively. On and off the battlefield. You need to sleep. I need you to sleep...you did so much to help me when I needed it, please just let me try to help you." He nodded. She rewarded him with a grin and one last quick peck on the lips. "Thank you. Now...lie down under the blankets and scoot towards the wall." She figured he’d be more comfortable under the blankets, plus there was the added bonus that they'd have a layer between them, since evidently, they had trouble not touching each other. Once he was lying down, he looked up at her expectantly. She sat on top of the blankets next to him.

"Is your headache still there?" He nodded. "Really? All this time... continuously?"

"Yes. I cannot feel the pain as strongly when I am distracted or doing something else, particularly when doing physical things like training or…kissing you." They exchanged a look. "But the moment I try to relax, or there is nothing to distract me...the pain returns at full force."

"Close your eyes." He nodded and acquiesced. "Don't feel like you have to concentrate on anything, if you get sleepy just let it happen."

Byleth summoned a healing spell and held it in her palm. She first put her hand on his forehead, he grimaced slightly, but soon his brow evened out. She tried to visualize what a physical manifestation of the throbbing nature of his headache would look like. According to Manuela, students who lacked the ability to visualize had a lot of trouble with all but the most basic of healing spells. She had told her that just about anyone could throw healing energy across a battlefield, but to heal a cut, a broken bone, or a burn required the ability to visualize the body coming back together. It was even harder with aches or pains that weren't visible to the eye. 

Rhea had been teaching her how to visualize what the pain might feel like and use the magic and visualizations to ease it. It was a perfect technique for Byleth. As a child who didn't speak, she spent a lot of time in her own imagination and the visualization part came easily to her, but it had never worked until she tried it on Dimitri in the training grounds. She had visualized large hands squeezing Dimitri’s head, and then visualized removing them with magic. Now, feeling empowered by her earlier success, she imagined the throbbing to be a river running wildly through his head and imagined a dam to stop it. She thought of the buzzing he mentioned and pictured hundreds of bees on his head. She ran the magic through her fingers and her fingers through his hair and pictured the bees scattering until they were all gone. 

She had no idea how much time had passed, at some point she stopped channeling the magic and was just playing with his hair, but she looked down and saw that he was breathing evenly and had fallen asleep. She smiled and kissed him on the head. She stood quietly, put her glasses on her desk, and grabbed an extra blanket. She lay on top of the blankets next to him, pulled the extra one over herself, and allowed the exhaustion of using so much sustained magic lull her to sleep.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few updates will probably happen quickly. This chapter and the next three contain some of the first things I wrote for this fic, so they are almost done. After that updates will be a bit more spread out. 
> 
> I love reading all comments, no matter how long or short!


	10. The Night Before, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the day before the Imperial Army attacks. Leonie and Sylvain play wingman, Dimitri tries to find Byleth, and Byleth takes a walk and tries to get people to call her by her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost there folks! This is the first of 3 parts chronicling the action at Garreg Mach on the night before the big battle. These chapters started as a thought experiment where I thought about the episode of Game of Thrones before the Battle of Winterfell and wondered, what would each of the residents of the monastery be doing the night before a decisive battle? Enjoy!

_**30th Lone Moon** _

_**Imperial Year 1180** _

It was hard for Byleth to believe it was Monday again. The week since the meeting with Rhea had flown by. All the evacuations were complete. All the weapons and provisions were prepared. They were as ready as they could be. There was nothing else to do but wait. The Imperial army would be at their gates the following morning. Less than twenty-four hours stood between peace and war. 

Byleth sat in the dining hall sharing an after-dinner drink with Leonie, Manuela, Catherine, and Shamir. At the next table over, Alois, Caspar, and Raphael were having an after-dinner dinner. Raphael had the idea that they should load up on food to make sure their muscles had enough energy the next day. Caspar and Alois agreed, once Manuela told them eating carbohydrates actually was a good way to store energy. They all sat down to eat again once Manuela let them know which foods had the most carbs. Alois had to stop at seconds, but Caspar and Raphael moved on to third and fourth helpings, respectively.

Alois held up his extra plates and offered them to the women at the neighboring table. “Any extra carbs for you ladies? _Wheat_ love for you to join us! Ha! Ha! _Wheat!”_ He laughed and held the plate out to Catherine.

Catherine held up her glass of ale. “I’ll drink my carbs, thanks.”

“Here, here” said Manuela, holding up her wine glass. Alois shrugged and placed his extra plates back on the table, where Raphael and Caspar pounced on them.

“I’m pretty sure wine doesn’t have carbs,” Shamir said, looking to Byleth and Leonie for confirmation. “Does it?” Shamir took the bottle from in front of Manuela and squinted at the label. Leonie shrugged and took a drink of whiskey from the flask she and Byleth were sharing.

“Of course, it does.” Manuela replied. “Wine is made from grapes, which have sugar. That’s what carbohydrates are. It’s science.” Manuela reached to take the bottle from Shamir’s hands. “Give that back! You’re drinking ale, why do you care?”

Shamir laughed and handed it over. “Science? How do you know all this, Manuela? I thought you were a Faith healer?”

Manuela raised a finger. “I am a Physician. Faith, Reason, Science…I use whatever it takes to get the job done.” She went to refill her glass, changed her mind, and took a drink from the bottle.

“You’re a consummate professional Casagranda!” Catherine said, reaching across the table and slapping Manuela on the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“Catherine, don’t break Manuela please. We’ll need her healing abilities for tomorrow.” Byleth said with a smile.

“Thank you Byleth. Although you’re becoming quite the healer yourself.” Manuela said, as she reached over and smoothed Byleth’s hair behind her ear. “Still, I hope the other side needs their healers more than we need ours.”

“I’ll drink to that!” Leonie raised her flask for a toast. Catherine and Shamir raised their ale glasses, Manuela raised her wine bottle, and they clinked them all together.

“I don’t have a drink, but I agree.” Byleth raised her empty hand. Leonie tried to hand the flask back to Byleth but she waved it away. “No. No more for me Leo. A little buzz is nice, but I can’t be getting drunk when I have soldiers to lead tomorrow.”

“True, but that doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in other...intoxicating things.” Leonie jabbed Byleth with her elbow. “You... should go find His Highness and jump his bones.”

“Leonie!” Byleth blushed and giggled.

“Wait, who’s jumping whose bones?” Shamir asked.

“Nobody.” Byleth answered.

Manuela patted Byleth on the back. “Good girl. Remember what I told you, men are nothing but trouble.”

“I don’t think she’s as good as you think she is Manuela.” Leonie leaned around Byleth to try to get Manuela’s attention. “Ask her where the prince slept last night, or don’t... I’ll tell you. He slept in her room, in her bed. With her in it!” Shamir and Manuela both looked at Byleth in shock.

“Why is that a big deal? Aren’t you two engaged or something?” Catherine asked.

Byleth snatched the flask from Leonie, took a drink, and handed it back. “No, Catherine we’re not engaged. And yes, he did sleep in my room, in my bed, with me in it, but nothing happened. Well, not nothing...I healed his headache and put him to sleep.”

“You healed his headache?” Manuela asked in surprise. “The visualization technique worked?” Byleth nodded. “Well that’s worth celebrating.” Manuela took another swig from the wine bottle. 

Byleth blushed. She wasn’t being entirely truthful. While they hadn’t had sex, what they did was pretty intimate, and she was sure that if she had not been insistent about him sleeping, they probably would have done it. At some point in the night, even though he’d slept more or less soundly, he had woken up and asked her to get under the blankets with him, and she had. When she woke up early that morning, he was still asleep with his arms curled around her. He looked so cute, she couldn’t help herself and she’d kissed him awake. They spent a few minutes that morning sharing lazy kisses and languid touches, until they realized that the sun was up and Dedue was probably going to be looking for Dimitri soon. He’d left her room with a promise to return Jeralt’s clothes later and Byleth went to find Leonie, drag her to breakfast, and tell her everything that happened.

“Come on... Byleth. Leonie whined “You like him; he likes you….We might all die tomorrow. Take a chance and don’t die a virgin.” Leonie giggled and shook Byleth’s arm. “Come on, do it for me!”

“You’re a virgin?” Manuela, Shamir, and Catherine all said at the same time.

“Wow... I should have made the three of you do choir practice together with that kind of harmony.” Byleth scoffed and crossed her arms. “And yes, I’m a virgin. I spent almost my entire life sharing a room with my crazy overprotective dad. He fired some highly capable fighters from the company just because they talked to me, can you imagine if one had made a move?”

“Gotta love the captain.” Leonie grinned. “Ok, then; let’s vote. Who thinks Byleth should go find and fuck the prince?” Leonie raised her hand. Catherine and Shamir both laughed and raised theirs too. Byleth blushed furiously. Leonie looked at Manuela who crossed her arms instead of raising her hand. “Manuela, you’re voting no?”

Manuela shook her head. “I abstain. On the one hand, going to war is not a good reason to make rash decisions, so that’s a no vote. But...and I can’t believe I’m saying this...If you do have feelings for each other, there is nothing wrong with it. Sex can be a beautiful thing with the right person, so that’s a yes vote. Mostly I abstain because this is not a decision to be made by committee, only Byleth can make this decision. Oh, and his Highness too, I suppose.”

Leonie nodded in agreement. “Manuela, you make some excellent points…. but you’re outvoted. The ayes have it; Byleth, go get laid!” 

Catherine and Shamir both whooped. Byleth shook her head. “You guys are impossible.” She stood up from the table. “I think I’m going to take a walk and clear my head.” She stood up and pointed to the flask. “Leonie, do me a favor and don’t finish all of that.”

Leonie nodded and screwed the cap on to the flask. “Good point. Can’t fight if we're hungover, huh? Want me to keep you company on your walk?”

Byleth shook her head and pointed to Raphael. “No, I need for you to stay here and keep an eye on your man. Make sure he doesn’t eat all the food we have. What if we end up in a siege situation and we starve because Raph has eaten all the food in the monastery? I’ll see if I can find Hilda or Linhardt to come collect Caspar.” Byleth laughed as she walked away from the table.

"Hey, By!" Leonie caught up to her and hugged her from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder. "Listen, I know I tease you, but that's only because you make it so easy. I just...." She spun Byleth to face her and grabbed her hands. "I want you to be happy. Being with him seems to make you happy. If you don't want to go that far, or you aren't ready, don't do it. But...you should ,at the very least, tell him you love him." 

Byleth nodded. "I'll think about it."

Leonie smiled. "Good! Then after you do that...you know, fuck his brains out." 

Byleth pushed her away and watched her walk up to Raphael and rest her chin on his shoulder and try to throw her arms around his arms to restrain him from eating, but she was not able to get her arms all the way around him. She settled for wrapping her arms around his neck instead and he turned to kiss Leonie on the cheek, leaving a bit of sauce behind. Byleth couldn’t help but think they were adorable as she walked out of the dining hall and into the fading light of the evening.

**

Dimitri never complained about the room assignments in the dormitory the way Felix and Sylvain often did. Felix always said he was cursed because his room was “between the two most annoying people in the academy” and Sylvain complained because his room was next to Dimitri’s and he often called him out about his late night gallivanting with various women. He figured that Sylvain catching him returning to his room that morning must have been some kind of cosmic payback. He had ignored him at the time, but after dinner Sylvain caught up with him and dragged him to the Knight’s Hall for a talk.

Sylvain pushed Dimitri to sit on the couch and started to build a fire in the fireplace. “Your Highness, don’t be coy. I know a walk of shame when I see one. You were gone all night, returned just after dawn wearing strange clothes and looking all...disheveled. Disheveled in a remarkably familiar way, might I add. And you’ve been in a better mood today than I’ve seen you in all year.” Sylvain laughed. “Come on, tell me...you closed the deal with the professor, right?”

“She is not our professor anymore.” Dimitri answered, avoiding the question.

“Right. Not our professor anymore...I see. You were just waiting until it was less taboo before you made your move.” Sylvain nodded. He turned away from the fire and sat next to Dimitri. “For me, the forbidden aspect would’ve made it hotter, but I can see why you’d be turned off by it. Was it good?” He clapped Dimitri on the back and shook him. “What am I saying, of course it was good! You guys had all that sexy tension built up! I’d ask if you made her come, but I know you... you’re a giver – of course you did. Probably more than once. Tell me everything!”

“Sylvain, stop. I did not...make love to her last night.” Dimitri blushed.

“Interesting.” Sylvain stroked his chin and smiled. “So far, I’ve implied you were with her last night twice. You know what you didn’t do? You didn’t deny that’s where you were. If you’d spent all night in the training grounds or skulking around the monastery, you would have said so.” Dimitri’s mouth dropped open in shock at how easily Sylvain had read him. “You may not have...made love…to her, but you were with her all night.” Sylvain laughed. “Also, who says ‘making love’? You are so far gone over her it’s almost endearing and not pathetic. Almost.”

Dimitri sighed. He did not feel comfortable talking about personal things with most people, but he guessed that if he had to talk to anyone, he could do worse than Sylvain. He was one of his oldest friends after all, and he did have a lot of experience with women. “I did...spend the night with her.” Sylvain’s eyes widened in shock. “But we did nothing like you are probably thinking. Except...we did kiss a little.” Sylvain’s mouth dropped open and Dimitri blushed. “Well...we kissed a lot.”

Sylvain threw his arm around him. “Your Highness! I am so proud of you!” He laughed. “Not as proud as I would be if you’d actually, you know...fucked her. But still, progress is progress!”

Dimitri winced. “Do not call it that! You are so vulgar sometimes, why did I think I could talk to you?”

Sylvain only laughed harder. “Who else would you talk to? Dedue? He wouldn’t say anything back. Felix? Ingrid? Get out of here! Face it, Your Highness I may not be your _best_ friend, but I’m your best friend for this.” Dimitri felt himself blush, but he nodded. Sylvain was right. Dedue only saw himself as a retainer and would rarely let himself slip into anything that would be considered friend territory. Felix barely tolerated him at the best of times, and there was no way he could talk to Ingrid about women.

“You are right. I guess you are the only one I can talk to about this.” 

Sylvain threw his head back and laughed. “Yes! Now, tell me everything. What happened. Why did you stop at kissing? It’s obvious you two want each other.”

Dimitri blinked. It was obvious that they wanted each other. He did not think that was true at all. He was not even sure she wanted him until the night before. “We...She only invited me to her room to try to heal my headache and get me to sleep. We were not supposed to be kissing at all, but she was there and... I could not help myself.” He blushed. “She did heal my headache afterwards. I slept better than I have in years.”

“Wait...you slept? You never sleep.” Sylvain blinked at him in surprise. “No wonder you’re in such a good mood. Man, all kidding aside...if she was able to get you to sleep, she’s really good for you.” Dimitri nodded. He had not slept through the whole night since before Duscar. He awoke a few times the night before but waking and seeing her there next to him made him feel safe and he was able to go back under without much trouble. Not having a headache helped tremendously. He was still not sure how she did it, but he was thankful she did. 

“So... you slept with her without sleeping with her.” Sylvain shook his head. “Oh, Your Highness…. Well, we still have time. Tonight, is the night before a big battle. The biggest we've ever faced. That seems like a great time to make a crazy decision. I know I’m planning on making my own terrible decision later. You need to go to her and…” Sylvain chuckled. “...make love to her.” He laughed boisterously. “Gah, I can’t even say that with a straight face. But… go get her. What have you got to lose? Except your virginity, that is.”

After Sylvain stopped laughing, he gave Dimitri a lot of unsolicited, unwelcome, and embarrassingly detailed advice about what he should do to the professor, and how. Dimitri bolted from the Knight's Hall as quickly as he could. He thought about what Sylvain had said about making crazy decisions the night before a battle. Tomorrow was the day he had been waiting for. Four long years he had thought of nothing but getting revenge on those responsible for Duscar, until he came to Garreg Mach and thoughts of her began to crowd out his thoughts of vengeance. His father and Glenn chastised him every day for allowing himself to be distracted by her, but he had not heard them since the day before. Something in the back of his mind thought it was strange that they were quiet the day after he managed to sleep, but he figured they were quiet because they knew they would be avenged the next day and there was nothing Dimitri could do to get the Imperial army there faster. Whatever the reason, he was just happy they were quiet. Tomorrow he would get his vengeance, tonight he welcomed a distraction. He went to his room and picked up Jeralt’s clothes, which he had washed and folded. He would go to her room to return them and see where the night led.

***

As Byleth left the dining hall, she made her way into the courtyard and decided to take a shortcut through the rose garden. She spotted Lorenz and Ferdinand having tea and dessert in the gazebo with Lysithea and stopped to say hello. 

"Hello, Professor!" Ferdinand greeted her warmly. "Would you like to join us for a cup of tea?"

"Or dessert, perhaps?" Lorenz offered.

"Is there whiskey in the tea? Because if there isn't, I'll pass." She deadpanned. Both Ferdinand and Lorenz looked scandalized, but Lysithea giggled.

"She's joking gentlemen. You two didn't have the pleasure of being in Professor Eisner's class all year so maybe you don't know, but she answers direct questions sarcastically most of the time." Lysithea said with a grin.

Ferdinand chuckled. “Very funny, professor.”

“Ferdinand, I’m not a professor anymore, please call me Byleth.”

"Sarcasm?" Lorenz looked somehow more scandalized than he did before. "How common. A true noble should always speak genuinely in order to be better understood by the masses, professor."

Byleth blinked at him. "Well, I'm not a true noble so I don't need to worry about what a true noble should do. And my dear Lorenz, as I just said to Ferdinand, I’m no longer a professor, please call me Lady Eisner." Lorenz narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh, but Lady Eisner!" Ferdinand set his cup down and looked at her in awe. "You are a vessel of the goddess herself and the future Archbishop, what could possibly be more noble than that?"

"Being the future Queen of Faerghus, perhaps." Lorenz mumbled into his teacup. Byleth looked at him coolly and turned back to Ferdinand.

Lysithea broke out in giggles again. "Would you like a piece of cake...Byleth."

Byleth grinned widely at Lysithea. She was always the one who learned something new the fastest. "I will take a piece, thank you. But I'll take it to go. I'm trying to find either Hilda or Linhardt to rescue the dining hall from Caspar."

"Oh, I can help with that. Linhardt and I were trying out spells in the classroom. I was reading and next thing I knew he was asleep. I left him there a while ago." Lysithea said as she cut a piece of cake for Byleth.

"Speaking of things that aren't noble." Lorenz shook his head. "Can you imagine the Lord of a territory, just falling asleep anywhere and everywhere?"

Byleth shook her head. "I couldn't agree more!" Lorenz looked shocked that she agreed. "Between you and me Lorenz, the only thing worse would be if he snored. Can you imagine how not noble it would be to snore so loudly that it could be heard in another room?" She raised an eyebrow at Lorenz.

"How ghastly!" Lysithea winced and handed Byleth her cake and a fork.

"Indeed." Lorenz said, not looking at Byleth. She swore she saw a small blush on his cheeks, while Ferdinand chuckled knowingly.

"Well, we have a big day tomorrow. Make sure you all get some rest tonight." Lorenz nodded, still not looking at her.

"Will do, Lady Eisner." Ferdinand said earnestly.

"Night, Byleth." Lysithea mumbled through a mouthful of cake. Byleth turned and walked away. 

"Goodnight, _Professor_!" Lorenz said to her back. Byleth laughed to herself and wished she had recruited Lorenz if only to make him work with Leonie. She would have beat the snobbery right out of him.

***

Dimitri knocked on Byleth’s door and got no response. The practice around the monastery was to leave doors unlocked unless you were in your room. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. Disappointed, he dropped Jeralt’s clothes on the bed and decided to go look for her. Although if she was not in her room, she could be anywhere. He noticed a large group of people starting to gather outside and stopped to ask Annette what was going on since she appeared to be giving orders.

"It's a surprise Your Highness!" Annette shouted. "But you should stay, it's going to be super fun! Or at least convince Mercedes and Marianne to stay!"

"Marianne and I are going to do some last-minute organizing of healing supplies for Manuela, but maybe afterwards." Mercedes replied.

"Will you stay, Your Highness?" Annette asked.

"Well, I was actually looking for the professor...to ask about some battle tactics for tomorrow... " Dimitri realized what a silly excuse that was considering their battle plans were already made and set in stone days ago.

Mercedes giggled. "Well, whatever your reason for looking for her, I saw her in the dining hall having drinks with Leonie, Manuela, Catherine and Shamir. She's probably still there." 

Dimitri thanked Mercedes and walked towards the dining hall.

***

Byleth walked through the mostly deserted monastery eating her cake. _Eating cake in a “dessert”ed place._ She laughed to herself and decided she had been spending too much time around Alois. As she walked toward the classrooms in search of Linhardt, she peeked into the Blue Lions room and saw his familiar shape slumped over a book on the desk. She set down her cake plate and walked over to shake him gently.

“Lin, wake up.” He blinked and focused his emerald eyes on hers. “That can’t be comfortable Linhardt. Go sleep in your room.” He nodded and without saying a word, stood and began to wander out of the room. He stopped, picked up the rest of Byleth’s cake on the way out, and took a bite. Byleth frowned.

“Thanks for the cake Professor.” He mumbled through a yawn and a mouthful of cake. She shook her head and had to laugh. He was going to be no help with Caspar. She hoped she'd be able to find Hilda. As far as she knew, the two weren't together, but anything Hilda asked Caspar to do, he did. For Hilda, that made him marriage material for sure.

“Professor!” a cheery voice called out. Byleth opened her eyes to see Mercedes and Marianne.

“I’m not your Professor anymore, please call me Byleth.” She replied, for what felt like the hundredth time that week.

“I’m not sure I can do that.” Marianne said quietly.

Mercedes chuckled. “I will try, Byleth...We are meeting up with Gilbert, Ignatz, and Ashe in the Cathedral just after sundown to offer prayers to the Goddess for everyone’s safety tomorrow. Would you like to join us?”

Prayers. It had been such a long time since she talked to Sothis. A little bit of prayer might be nice, even if she could no longer hear Sothis talk back. “Sure.” She replied. “I can meet you there later.” 

"Great!" Mercedes smiled.

"Oh, Professor...His Highness was looking for you a while ago, did he find you?" Marianne asked.

Byleth shook her head. “I haven’t seen him since this morning.”

Mercedes grinned at Byleth. “He looked much better today. Well rested. I didn’t sense the usual pain coming from him that is usually present.” 

Mercedes, it turned out, was a special kind of healer. She didn’t use visualizations for any type of healing, she used empathy. Byleth did not envy her the skill. As an empath, she literally felt the pain others were feeling, so she knew exactly where it was and how to fix it, which made her one of the best healers they had.

“Oh, I healed his headache last night.” Byleth paused before she revealed too much. “Maybe he slept better because of it.”

“You were able to heal his headache? By visualizing?” Byleth nodded. Mercedes pulled Byleth into a hug. “That’s amazing. No wonder he is looking for you.”

Mercedes let go of Byleth and looked into her eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry Byleth, I’m sure His Highness will find you before the night is over.” Mercedes also had the uncanny ability of picking up on non-pain related feelings as well.

***

Dimitri made his way into the dining hall. He looked around and located a table with Manuela, Catherine and Shamir. Much to his disappointment, Byleth was not with them. He continued to look around the room, but other than a few knights and kitchen staff, the three women were the only ones there. He walked over to see if they knew where she had gone.

“Good evening, Ladies.” He bowed. For some reason they all looked incredibly rosy cheeked as they smiled at him.

“Your Highness! How good to see you.” Manuela cooed. “What can we do for you?”

“I was looking for the professor, have you seen her? Mercedes told me I might find her here.” He asked.

“Got another headache, do ya?” Catherine winked at him. Manuela giggled.

“I...uh.” He sputtered. “No, I was just...looking for her.”

“She went for a walk. Said she wanted to clear her head.” Shamir answered. “Don’t mind these two.” She gestured at Manuela and Catherine. Dimitri bowed to Shamir in thanks, said goodbye to the others at the table, and turned and walked out of the dining hall. On his way out he heard Manuela’s voice carry.

“That boy has got it so bad.” 

Dimitri shook his head at himself. Evidently, his feelings were transparent to everyone at Garreg Mach. He stood at the top of the stairs and looked out over the fishing pond and greenhouse. For a moment he thought he saw her on the pier, but it was Flayn, with Seteth. He sighed and decided to head toward the Cathedral to see if Byleth was there, it was as good a place as any to start the search.

***

Byleth had walked with Marianne and Mercedes for a while until they parted ways, the girls heading for the infirmary and Byleth toward the reception hall. She made her way through the reception hall and the entrance hall, offering nods of acknowledgement to the groups of soldiers and knights she passed along the way. As she stepped out of the Entrance hall, she stopped to say hello to the Gatekeeper.

“Greetings Professor. Nothing to report.” 

Byleth raised her eyebrows at him. 

“Well...nothing to report to you. You know what’s happening more than I do right now. Still, rest assured that you can count on me to inform you of any changes.” 

He bowed a short bow and Byleth walked down the stairs away from him and past the marketplace. It was striking how different the marketplace looked when it was almost empty. The only stall that remained open was the blacksmith, and there was a small line of people getting last minute repairs. As she continued toward the pond, she considered fishing for a while, but then spotted Seteth and Flayn sitting on the dock with their fishing lines cast. She walked up behind them and crouched to her knees.

“Catch anything so far?”

Seteth flinched and almost dropped his pole. “Professor! It is not prudent to sneak up on people. You almost scared me right into the water.” Flayn shamelessly giggled at her father’s reaction.

“Apologies Seteth. I’ll try to make more noise when I walk so you can know when I am coming.”

“Please do.” He replied with a smirk.

“Humor? From you Seteth? Is this a pre-battle jitters thing, or do I only get to see this side of you now that Rhea named me her successor?”

He chuckled softly. “Both.”

“Oh, Professor! Since you are back there, would you mind braiding my hair for me like Petra taught us at the party? I would prefer to have it out of the way for tomorrow.” Byleth agreed and sat down cross-legged behind Flayn. “Are you worried about tomorrow, Professor?”

“I’m not your professor anymore, or a professor at all really. Can't the two of you please call me Byleth?” She sighed. “I think I would be crazy not to be worried about tomorrow, Flayn. It is war after all.” Byleth ran her fingers through Flayn’s long hair and parted it into sections. “Do you want me to leave it loose on top to cover your ears or pull it all back tightly?” she asked, touching the pointy tip of Flayn’s left ear with her finger. 

“Covered, please” she answered. “I must admit, I too, am worried Your Grace.”

“Your Grace?”

“Well, as the successor to the Archbishop, that would be your title now. Since you no longer wish to be called Professor” Flayn responded cheekily.

Byleth grimaced. “Go back to calling me Professor please” Flayn laughed. “So, you’re worried too?”

“Well yes. The last time there was a great war, there were so many casualties, including my mother; and I was also gravely injured. I lost so many hundreds of years as I slept and healed. You could not imagine the changes that took place in the world in that time, and I missed all of them.”

“Everything will be alright Flayn. I will make sure you are protected this time.” Seteth gently cupped Flayn’s chin and made her look up at him. “I will not lose you.” Flayn smiled at her father. He turned and looked at Byleth. "Or you. You are family now too. I will do all I can to protect you both."

Byleth smiled at Seteth, but the thought of falling asleep and missing hundreds of years made her hands stop midway through Flayn’s long braid. “You told me you slept for a long time, but…hundreds of years?” Flayn nodded, the smile falling from her face. Byleth noticed that Seteth also appeared troubled at the thought. It was probably not a good topic of conversation when the Imperial Army was less than a day away. She cleared her throat. “So...Seteth, are you having more luck with the fish, now that you’re using bait?”

Byleth finished braiding Flayn’s hair while they talked of the different techniques of fishing. Once she was done, she stood and left them to their time alone. “Make sure to catch a lot of fish. Last I saw, Raphael and Caspar were eating us out of food.” It warmed Byleth’s unbeating heart to see Seteth and Flayn together, but it did make her miss her own father terribly.

Thinking of her father, Byleth decided to go to the greenhouse to get some flowers to take to Jeralt and Sitri’s graves. Upon entering, she found Dedue tending the Duscurian plants. “Good evening, Dedue. I am surprised to see you here alone. I would have thought you would not want to leave Dimitri’s side right now.”

“You are not wrong. My place is with his Highness, but he requested to be left alone this afternoon. He threatened to release me from duty altogether if I did not leave.” Dedue sighed. “I don’t understand why he will not allow me to help him. Although he did seem better today." He quirked a lip in a slight smile. "You would not know anything about that, would you professor?" Byleth wondered if Dedue heard Dimitri’s voice in her room the night before, and decided to change the subject.

"I'm not your professor anymore, Dedue. Call me Byleth, please."

"I could no more call you by your name than I could His Highness, no matter how much he asks. However, I did consent to his wishes and leave him alone for tonight. I will be back at his side in the morning.” He sighed. “Honestly, I just came here for some quiet. There appears to be some sort of loud gathering outside of our rooms.”

Byleth nodded. “I understand the need for quiet sometimes. I'll leave you to your thoughts." He nodded gratefully. She gathered a small bouquet and waved him goodbye on her way out. She wondered what he meant about the loud gathering outside their rooms and decided to investigate on her way to the graveyard. The dormitories were even emptier than the rest of the monastery. Whatever anyone was doing that evening, it appeared they were not in their rooms. Even Bernadetta was not in hers when Byleth passed by and knocked. She heard music in the distance and continued through the dormitories, her curiosity peaked even further. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts II and III coming as soon as I can finish editing them. My goal is to post them all this weekend, so fingers crossed!


	11. The Night Before, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A song, a squabble, a spar, and a splinter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part II of the events of the night before the battle. We talk a bit about the Fraldarius brothers. This chapter mostly born of the fact that I have put almost 600 hours into this game and in every route that I have played I have either had or recruited Felix. I even married him once. Let's have fun with our favorite sarcastic swordsman.

As Byleth followed the sound of the music to the top of the stairs, she spotted a group of people in the courtyard. Intrigued, she walked closer. Claude was sitting in the middle of the group, playing a guitar, a soldier she didn’t know was playing violin, and to Byleth’s shock, Bernadetta was playing the trumpet! She approached Ashe and Felix, who were part of the surrounding crowd of soldiers and knights watching and clapping along. Ignatz was also there, although she almost didn’t notice him since he was deep in concentration capturing the scene in a drawing. As surprising as it was to see Bernadetta playing the trumpet, Byleth was even more surprised when she noticed that Felix was holding and playing a tambourine while watching the performance with an amused grin. It was easy to see and hear why he was so amused. Annette and Dorothea were singing a duet.

_“Oh, our army will fight, fight, fight,_

_All day and night, night, night!_

_Our lances, swords, and axes held tight...”_

“Did Annette write this song?” she asked Felix, who nodded proudly. Byleth smiled. On either side of Annette and Dorothea, Hilda and Petra were doing a modified version of the dance that Dancers do on the field. Caspar was standing nearby cheering them on, which meant the food supply was safe. “Did she also teach Hilda and Petra the Dancer dance?”

“She did.” He replied with a deepening smile.

“She’s amazing. I’ll never understand how the two of you are together.”

Felix shrugged. “You’re right By, she can do so much better than my cranky ass.”

“I’m glad you’ve come far enough that you can own your crankiness, Felix.”

_“Our spells and our arrows will fly, fly, fly!_

_Joining our Pegasi in the sky, sky, sky!_

_Our gauntlets will make our enemies cry...”_

“Hey, be prepared, we are going to have to sing this next part with them.” Felix told her with a grin. Byleth panicked. 

“Don’t worry professor, it’s easy.” Ashe assured her. “Just repeat what they say. It’s a call and response thing.” Byleth nodded at Ashe ready to join in the fun.

 _“To the field!”_ The girls sang.

 _“ To the field!”_ everyone else shouted in unison.

“ _Till the end!”_

_“ Till the end!”_

_“We will fight, we will defend!”_ Annette and Dorothea held the last note theatrically, then joined in the dance with the other girls before starting the song all over again.

“As amazing as this is to watch, you still owe me a spar. We’ve been so busy this week, we’ve hardly trained at all. No time like the present, Eisner.” Felix motioned toward the training grounds. “It should be empty right now. Nobody around to see me kick your ass.”

Byleth raised an eyebrow at him. “I have time before evening prayers. Let me go put these flowers in my room, and then you’re on.”

“Hell yeah. I’ll meet you there.” Felix turned and handed the tambourine to Ashe. “Here Ashe, you take over for me.” Ashe smiled and shook the tambourine wildly. He had a complete lack of rhythm, but looked so happy that it didn’t even matter.

Byleth entered her room to drop off the flowers and take her jacket off. It was another warm night and she didn’t want to get too hot while sparring. She was going to throw it on her bed when she saw the clothing she had let Dimitri borrow sitting on her bed. He had been in her room at some point that evening. Where had he gone? She put it out of her mind for the moment and walked to the training grounds. She was sure she'd see him later. 

***

Dimitri walked toward the Cathedral and saw Ingrid sitting on a bench alone. He paused, then went and sat next to her. “Are you alright, Ingrid?”

“Your Highness!” Ingrid looked surprised to see him. “I’m fine. I’m just watching the sun set...and thinking about tomorrow.” She sighed. “Mostly, I’m thinking about Glenn.”

“I see.” Glenn was a difficult subject for Dimitri, but he figured if it was difficult for anyone else it would be Ingrid and Felix. “Anything in particular?”

“It’s silly but, now that I’m certified as a Falcon Knight, I just wonder if he would be proud of me. I was so proud of the knight he was; it would be nice to know that he might be proud of me in return.”

“I am proud of you Ingrid. I am sure he would be as well.” Dimitri sighed. “I owe you an apology. In a just world, you would be happily married to Glenn. He...truly loved you. And it is clear that you cared deeply for him as well. In a way, I am responsible for you losing the joyous future that should have been yours. I know my words can change nothing...but I am so sorry, Ingrid.”

“No need to apologize, Your Highness.” She shook her head. “I am lucky to have had his love for even a short time.” She laughed softly. “Well, we believe he loved me. It was hard to tell. He was Felix’s brother after all. That family is not big on displays of affection.”

“That is true. When we all trained together as children we always spent as much time arguing as we did training.” Dimitri recalled with a small smile. “I will never understand how Glenn and Felix came to be so argumentative with Rodrigue as their father, he is so kind.” They both chuckled.

“I recall being at the Fraldarius estate after Glenn was killed. Lord Rodrigue saying that Glenn died like a true knight really comforted me.” Tears filled the corners of her eyes, but they did not fall. “Felix didn’t appreciate it, but that thought has gotten me through a lot of dark times since Glenn’s death. A noble death as a true knight is one of the best things one can hope for as a warrior. Glenn was the perfect picture of a perfect knight - noble and virtuous. In the end, he laid down his life - the ultimate sacrifice. I feel proud of him in ways words can’t quantify. Proud that he passed from this realm to the next as a perfect knight.”

“Proud? Why?” Dimitri shook his head. Glenn’s ghost had spoken to him thousands of times since Duscar, and Dimitri was sure that he did not think there was anything to be proud of. There was nothing noble or virtuous about his sacrifice. It was horrid, terrifying, and Dimitri wished that nobody had ever or would ever sacrifice themselves for him. “Are you truly trying to turn his needless death into an ideal to uphold?”

“Needless death? How can you say that? Glenn gave his life for you - for everyone - and this is how you speak of his sacrifice?” Ingrid stood up and began to pace.

“You weren’t there, Ingrid. I was. You did not witness his last moments. I did.” Dimitri tried to reach out to her to get her to sit back down. “If you had seen what I saw, you would not feel that way. His death was not ideal at all. If you think it was you would do well to rethink those ideals, my friend.”

She turned to him, enraged. “Pardon me? I don't care to hear your interpretation of his final moments. He was and will always be a true knight. He served in your guard! He took great pride in what he did - in protecting you! The very least you can do is not spit on his memory!”

“Ingrid, that...is not my intention at all.” He shook his head. “Please, sit. Allow me to explain my position. I do not want to go into tomorrow with you angry at me.” 

Ingrid relented and sat back on the bench. She took a few deep breaths. “I am sorry. I have mismanaged my feelings and I got carried away. I am so caught up in my own feelings, that I didn’t think of what yours might be. Of course it has been harder on you, having witnessed it.”

Dimitri shook his head. “No, I should be the one to apologize. I did not intend to say such things. I am disgusted in my own inability to express myself. Will you allow me to try to explain?” Ingrid nodded. “At Duscar, I saw countless corpses, including Glenn’s.” He closed his eyes tightly. “Ingrid, I doubt you would have been able to stomach seeing him like that. They were unable to bring his body back after all. He must have died an agonizing death, full of pain and regret. That is what I saw in his face.” 

Ingrid looked down at her feet, saying nothing. Dimitri continued. “In that wasteland, there were no beautiful proud deaths that could have been written about in the heroic tales you enjoy. Not one. I do not want you to hold on to such ideals if they would cause you to die a death like that. Not even for the sake of loyalty or duty. Not for me.” Neither said anything. They watched in silence as the last piece of the sun dipped below the horizon.

“Thank you, Your Highness.” Ingrid finally broke the quiet. “I think you have made me finally understand a truth about Glenn that I was trying to avoid.” She looked at him. “I understand what you are saying. It sounds as though he died with a heavy heart - a heart that carried regret. I had suspected as much, but instead of acknowledging it, I twisted my memory of him to fit an ideal I’ve been upholding.” She sighed. “Your Highness, I will not sacrifice my life for anyone.” She looked out beyond the horizon. “Letting go of the idealized version of Glenn I have might help me to move on...maybe I can finally try to live my life for someone instead of dying for someone.”

“Oh? Living for someone...anyone I know?” Dimitri asked, surprised. 

Ingrid shook her head and blushed. “Yes...but no. It has been difficult to even think that way about anyone. I have been so wrapped up in losing Glenn.” She paused. “There is someone I sometimes think I may have feelings for...but it’s ridiculous. Forget I said anything.”

“Does this someone have red hair and a dubious reputation, by any chance?” Dimitri asked. 

Ingrid’s mouth fell open and she turned to face him. “How…”

Dimitri chuckled. “I would say it was a lucky guess, but why else would you get so upset about the things he does? It is rather obvious if someone were to pay attention.”

Ingrid laughed with him. “What about you, Your Highness? You’ve been in love with our professor for months, even if someone wasn’t paying much attention, they could still tell.”

“Guilty as charged. I was actually looking for her now. Have you seen her, by any chance?” Dimitri asked.

“Not since dinner, sorry.” Ingrid replied.

“I will continue my search.” He stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Ingrid, whatever happens...do not die on me tomorrow, promise me that.”

“Yes, Your Highness. I swear it on my lance.” Ingrid nodded, looking up at him. 

“Or…” Sylvain’s voice broke in behind them. “You could always swear on my lance, Ingrid. It’s bigger.”

“Sylvain!” Ingrid shouted, but blushed. “You’re disgusting!”

“What? It’s a fact, The Lance of Ruin is way bigger than Luin is.” Dimitri shook his head. He thought about the conversation he’d had with Sylvain earlier and his friend’s plan to make a terrible decision. He had a feeling that decision was confessing his feelings to Ingrid. He figured he should give them their space. He was happy for them. She would be able to keep him in line, he would be able to loosen her up. They would be good together if she could let herself open up to someone again. If him talking to her about Glenn helped her at all, it was worth it.

“I will see the two of you in the morning.” Dimitri said as Sylvain took the spot Dimitri had vacated next to Ingrid. 

“Good luck on your search, Your Highness.” Ingrid said, turning to Sylvain. “Sylvain, His Highness is looking for the professor. Have you seen her?” 

Sylvain grinned. “Is he now?” He laughed. “Last time I saw her, she was watching the crazy musical performance happening in the courtyard, but she could be anywhere by now. You know she’s always running around someplace. I’d say you’d be better off staying put in one place rather than trying to chase her around. Knowing her, she’ll turn up wherever you are at some point.” Sylvain winked at Dimitri. “Good luck finding her, Your Highness.”

Dimitri thought about Sylvain’s logic as he walked away from them. He could keep wandering around trying to find her, or he could go sit somewhere and collect his thoughts. He tried to think of a place where there would not be too many people at that hour and found himself in the Knight’s Hall sitting before the fire Sylvain had started earlier. He wondered if she was looking for him. He desperately hoped she would find him. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to be with her. 

***

Byleth picked up a wooden training sword from the rack and did some quick stretches. Felix was right. With all of the preparations to get done, she had neglected her training that week. They got into position and started to fight. As she dodged and spun away from his attacks, she noted how good it felt to let out some of the excess energy in her body. It felt natural to stop planning and overthinking everything and just allow her instincts and muscle memory to take over. She hadn’t realized she was holding herself so tightly with all of the stress she was under. She felt herself loosen further and landed a hit on Felix’s left side.

“Damnit.”

“Don’t leave me an opening just because you aren’t holding your shield. What if you lose it in a real battle?” He nodded and got back into his fighting stance to start again.

Going through all the training in the last year at the academy, Felix had improved so much that he was getting to the point where he was a real challenge for Byleth. He still had not beat her, but he was getting close. The sound of the clanking of their training swords echoed through the otherwise empty training ground. She had him on the defensive and was sure she was about to notch another win when-

“Ouch! Damnit, I yield!” Byleth threw her sword down on the ground while Felix looked at her perplexed. “I just got the biggest splinter in my hand! Look!” She held out her left hand for him to inspect.

“You’re right, that’s a pretty big one. You should go take that out... or something.” Felix reached up to fix his ponytail.

“No shit Felix. I thought you guys did maintenance on all the weapons last week.”

“Not the training weapons! Why would we waste time doing that? We aren’t going to take training weapons to a fucking war battle.” He scoffed.

“I guess not.” She picked at the splinter. “Ugh, this is pretty deep. I’m going to see if I can catch Merci before evening prayers and see if she has a needle I can borrow to take this out.”

“Or, she could just heal it? She is a healer, you know. Or you could do it, don’t you know how to heal stuff?”

“No, I can’t. I mean, obviously I know healing magic, but you can’t use it on yourself. Besides, faith magic doesn’t work on stuff like this.” Felix looked at her in confusion. “You would know all this if you listened to me in class during magic lessons.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Pass.” Byleth shrugged and crossed her arms and they stood staring at each other for almost a full minute before Felix sighed and gave in. “Ok, fine I can see you really want to tell me why a healing spell wouldn’t work on a splinter, so just spit it out.” Felix started spinning his sword and stabbing at invisible opponents.

Byleth smiled. “Thank you for your rapt attention Felix. One last lesson for you, just for fun. When it comes to healing magic, spells can fix the damage done to the body by something, but not remove anything foreign from it. Think of it this way, let’s say you get shot with an arrow…”

“This lesson is flawed already. I can dodge any arrow shot at me.” Felix frowned. “Well...almost.”

She looked at him, shocked. “Did someone finally land a hit on you?” Felix had been recruiting his fellow classmates to shoot blunted arrows at him to dodge ever since she suggested it months ago, and he’d gotten really good at it. “Was it Claude...Ashe?”

“Bernadetta.” Felix rolled his eyes.

“Bernie, really? I’m surprised you were able to convince her to shoot at you.”

He scoffed. “It wasn’t easy. She fought me on it for weeks. Eventually I told her she was causing our army irreparable harm if she didn’t do it and she gave in.”

“Felix!”

“What?” Felix shrugged. “She’s the fastest sniper we have. I needed to train against the best.” He dodged to the right. “I dodged her first arrow, but she notched and fired off another one before I even came out of my dodge. Hit me right in the middle of the chest somehow.” He shook his head. “If she wasn’t so panicky all the time, she’d be terrifying.”

“That’s high praise coming from you.” Byleth tilted her head, thinking. “Ok then...let’s say Bernie shoots you with an arrow….and the arrow breaks and leaves the arrowhead lodged somewhere inside you…”

“Lodged inside me? Gross. I’m not sure what you’re into, but no thanks.”

“A healer, Felix, can close the wound, but not until the arrowhead is removed. This splinter is pretty much the same, just on a smaller scale. It’s also why we still need antidotes for poisons. Poisons are foreign.”

“That’s racist.” He laughed, spinning his sword again.

“Foreign to the body, Felix.” She threw a leg out and tripped him, but caught himself before he fell. “Come on, be serious for two seconds. I’d love to go into battle tomorrow thinking I taught you something, I can die happy.”

“In that case…” He paused and cleared his throat. “Fascinating stuff _Professor!_ You’ve made me reevaluate my life choices.” He bowed to her in an exaggerated fashion. “As of now, I’m going to renounce being a War Master and switch to being a Holy Knight in the grand Faerghus tradition, which I hate, so I can be just like my dad – who I also hate!” Felix shook his head and laughed humorlessly as he picked up her sword from the ground and returned it, with his, back to the weapons rack. 

“As for lessons, here’s one for you.” He held up his hands. “Splinters... are one of the many reasons why we wear gloves when we train.”

“Gloves don’t go with this outfit. Besides, they really aren’t my style in general.” Byleth wiggled her fingers. “I like to feel my weapons in my bare hands. I feel like I get better control that way.”

“Kinky.” He deadpanned. “Speaking of things that aren’t your style, I don’t accept your yield. This spar is officially a draw. I demand a rematch as soon as possible.”

“Well, I’m pretty busy tomorrow, what with the Imperial Army attacking in the morning and everything, but once we are done with that, I’ll make sure to schedule something.”

He laughed as they walked out of the training grounds together. The sun was setting in earnest. She would lose the light soon. She turned toward the Cathedral to find Mercedes and Felix turned to walk back to where the music was still going strong. 

“Hey, Byleth!” She stopped and turned back to face him again. “Since we might die tomorrow, I need you to know something. You… have actually taught me a lot this year. And not just about weapons and battle. We’re cut from the same cloth, you and I. And…”

“And?”

“You’ve always been slow on the uptake. You know what I’m trying to say.” Felix rolled his eyes.

“Maybe. Why don’t you say it so we can be sure?” She raised an eyebrow at him and motioned for him to continue.

“Stop messing around.” He seemed to be looking everywhere but at her. “Fine! Listen carefully. I’m not going to say this more than once.” He took a deep breath. “You are my best friend and I love you, and you are not allowed to die tomorrow. That’s all,” he mumbled quickly.

“Felix..”

“What? You have something to complain about? A smart-ass comment?”

She walked closer to his side and leaned against him with her head on his shoulder. He leaned his head on her head. “I love you too Felix. You can’t die tomorrow either.”

“Yeah ok...You still hug like a cat, you know.”

“You love cats.”

“I do.”

“You love me.”

“Not anymore.” He pushed her away playfully. “I hate you. Shut up. Feelings are stupid.” Byleth laughed. “Seriously, shut up and go get rid of your stupid splinter. If you leave it in there too long it will get infected.”

“How do you know that?” She asked.

“What? I know things. Like I said, my dad is a Holy Knight. I’d have to be an idiot to not know anything.” 

She shook her head at him. “All this time you’ve been holding out on me.” 

He shrugged and waved her off and she stood and watched him run over and grab Annette in a hug from behind and spin her around mid-song. 

“Felix!” Byleth heard Annette’s voice shout as she walked away. “Put me down!” 

The sun set completely as Byleth walked toward the Cathedral hoping to find Mercedes. She passed the benches overlooking the bridge and noticed Sylvain and Ingrid sitting on a bench together. Sylvain looked red in the face, and Ingrid was gesticulating wildly. She wondered what they could possibly be fighting about the night before they went to war. Byleth considered intervening but stopped in her tracks when Sylvain reached out to grab Ingrid’s hands in one of his own, he placed his other hand on Ingrid’s cheek, pulled her close, and kissed her. Byleth was stunned. She fully expected Ingrid to slap him, but she didn’t. Instead she put her arms around Sylvain and drew him in closer. Byleth grinned and looked away, continuing toward the Cathedral. She thought about the two of them and realized that it, in a way, them being together did make a strange sort of sense. Nobody cared about Sylvain like Ingrid did, and nobody watched out for Ingrid as much as Sylvain. 

She was happy for them. She was happy for Leonie and Raphael. She was happy for Felix and Annette. Goddess forbid, if something were to happen to any of them the next day, they would at least know how they felt about each other. Suddenly, she was consumed by the thought that although she had wandered all over the monastery in the last couple of hours, one of the few people she had not seen was Dimitri. She realized in that moment that Dimitri was the only person she wanted to see. Her walk had taken her just about everywhere in Garreg Mach, except for the Knight’s Hall and the Stables. Knowing Dimitri, of those two, where would he be more likely to be? She could see Gilbert walking across the bridge to set up for evening prayers and remembered that she had promised to meet the others for evening prayers at sundown, and she needed to find Mercedes and borrow a needle. It wasn’t the best time to go looking for Dimitri. And yet. She picked at her splinter and decided it really wasn’t that bad. The last of the sun’s rays disappeared and twilight fell upon Garreg Mach as she walked away from the Cathedral and towards the Knight’s Hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter from me that's somehow less than 5000 words?! 
> 
> Part III will be up later today. Coming up in Part III? Well...You read that last sentence. We all know what's coming up in Part III...lol.


	12. The Night Before, Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth finds Dimitri in the Knight's Hall.
> 
> *Rating change to Explicit for this chapter only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are folks. Way back in the prologue Sothis mentioned Byleth was carrying little ones. Hold on to your hats, because those babies are about to get made.
> 
> I mentioned in the summary that this is the first fic I've ever written. This is also the first smut I have ever written so hopefully it turned out ok. Kind of scared to publish it, but here we go.

As soon as Byleth stepped into the Knight's Hall, even before her eyes really adjusted to the semi-darkness, she spotted him sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, which was the main source of light in the room. The firelight reflected off his pale skin and hair, making it seem almost as if he glowed. The war was starting in less than eighteen hours. Leonie was right, she should at least tell him she loves him, just in case anything were to happen the next day. She never wanted him to doubt how she felt about him, and if something happened to him, something that she could not change, like with her father; she wanted to be sure of how he felt about her. She walked in the room and the sound of her boots on the stone floor announced her presence for her. He turned to face her, and she smiled.

“Hi Dimitri.”

“Professor! I have been waiting for you.” 

“I’m not your professor anymore.” she said. Although she had been saying it to everyone repeatedly in the last week, including him, there was something different in her tone that time. Less of an automatic response to the title everyone still insisted on using, and more of an active reminder that she was not his professor anymore. She laughed. “After last night, I think you can call me by my name.”

“Apologies.” He stared at her as she sat next to him. “It is still difficult for me to call you anything but Professor. You know I have trouble being informal.” He looked down at his hands which were resting on his knees. He found himself unable to handle looking at her when she was so close to him. It was all he could do to keep from pouncing on her like an overeager cat.

“You didn't seem very formal in my bed this morning." He blushed. "Anyway, if you want to be formal, Flayn says my official title is ‘Your Grace’ now. But please don’t call me that either. Just call me Byleth.” He chuckled. 

“Well, you are the only person who calls me by my given name. I suppose it would only be fair if I returned the favor...Byleth.” She blushed.

There were only two people who regularly called her by her name. Leonie and Felix. Between the two of them, she also had numerous nicknames. Alois and Rhea also said it sometimes, but not often. She had managed to get Manuela, Lysithea, and Mercedes to call her by her name that very evening. Everyone else called her Professor. But despite the many times she heard her name from anyone else, it did not prepare her for how it would feel to hear him say it. There was an ache in the pit of her stomach and a warmth that spread throughout her body, as if the crest of flames in her blood turned to real flames running through her veins. She smiled widely and he visibly melted.

“I like...hearing you say it.” Her blush deepened. “Names aside, you said you were waiting for me. How is that? I didn't even know I was coming here until a few minutes ago. I’m supposed to be in the cathedral right now." 

He chuckled. “It was Sylvain’s idea, actually. I was looking for you and I felt like I was following your trail all over the monastery. He said I would have better luck if I stayed in one place and waited for you to come to me. It worked. I have not been here for very long.”

“Sylvain thought of that? Impressive. He must have paid attention during strategy lessons after all.” She reached over and smoothed his hair from his face. “So, you were looking for me? Any particular reason why?”

He sighed and pressed his head to her hand. “I wanted to see you. I suppose I got lucky that you decided to come to the Knight’s Hall. What brought you here if you were heading to the cathedral?”

She could've lied. Said that she was passing by and stopped to grab a book from the shelves behind them. She turned to face him, put her arm on the back of the couch, rested her head in her hand, and decided to tell him the truth instead. The next day was going to be a big day. It could be her last day, or his. “As it turns out, I was looking for you.” She looked in his eyes and held his gaze.

“Me?” He turned his gaze to hers, searching. “Was there something you wanted?” He held his breath, not allowing himself to hope that he was reading her signals correctly.

She stood up, took her glasses off and set them carefully on the mantle of the fireplace and sat back down next to him, closer than she had been before. She reached out and caressed his cheek. She swallowed. “You.”

Dimitri wasn’t sure how it happened. Whether it was he who moved closer or her, all he knew was in the next moment, when he let his breath out, it was mixed with hers, and then they were kissing. She kicked her boots off and swung her legs on to the couch and leaned back, he followed her. He would follow her anywhere. He was half standing, half sitting, and it was not comfortable, but as he ran a hand over those incredible leggings of hers, he did not care.

Byleth noticed his position and shifted underneath him to give him more space and he just about climbed on her completely, she figured he would've if he wasn't so tall. He settled one of his legs between hers, although he kept the other foot on the floor. She buried her fingers further in his hair to give her leverage to adjust a bit, pulling his hair in the process. He hissed in a way that indicated he didn’t mind.

She was practically hyperventilating, struggling to take in enough air to fill her lungs. Part of it was because being with him felt so good, but admittedly the main reason was because she was squashed beneath him on the couch, and it was cramped and uncomfortable. She wiggled underneath him, trying to free one of her legs. On her way to lowering one of her feet to the floor, she accidently grazed the hardness in his pants with her knee. He gasped and she felt his hot breath on her ear. She was completely open to him now, as she ended up with one leg on either side of him. He settled in-between her legs, pushed up and looked down at her.

“Byleth…you are so beautiful.” He captured her mouth again and she couldn’t help but grind against him. Earlier when she sparred with Felix, she thought it was a good release of energy, all muscle memory and reflexes, but this – this was unlike anything she had felt before. She didn’t have muscle memory for this, but somehow her body knew what to do because it was her body that wanted him. Even when her legs were pressed together and trapped under him, she could feel heat build in her core and the slickness gathering there. In their current position, it was only getting more prominent. She was sure that he could feel it, as pressed against her as he was, with only her thin shorts and his pants between them.

His body was burning at every point of contact and he never wanted to stop touching her. He had kissed her, slept next to her the night before, but he had not touched her like this. His chest pressed flush against her breasts, his hands in her hair, on her back, her sides, her legs...He never could have imagined how good it felt to touch her, even though he imagined it frequently. He was also not prepared for how good it felt for her to touch him. She was touching him in ways he had also imagined countless times, her hand running along his hard length through his trousers, and it felt so good he thanked his ancestors for passing on his crest and its benefits, otherwise he would have been in big trouble.

As he kissed her neck, she was free to notice that while she only wore her tank top, shorts, and tights, he was wearing his full summer uniform. She pulled him from her neck and led him back to her mouth so that his change in position allowed her access to the buttons on his vest. Her small dexterous fingers made quick work of the buttons on both his vest and shirt, and she pushed them off his shoulders. He moved back briefly to remove them and drop them on the floor and removed his shoes and socks as well. He turned back to look at her and bit his bottom lip. 

It was just not fair that he had removed his shirt and vest, yet she was still wearing her shirt. He reached for the hem of the bottom of her tank top. She smiled and pushed him back, taking her top off on her own. The sight was dizzying. He was about to pull her back to him, but she had her arms behind her back and he was not sure what she was doing until her bra came off and joined the rest of the clothes on the floor. His mouth dropped open. He had imagined that moment hundreds of times. In his imagination he was able to pretend he was suave and unaffected by the sight of her bare breasts. In reality, he was sure his heart stopped completely. He swallowed. He froze.

She sat up to meet him and pressed her chest against his and kissed him. They both sighed into the kiss and reclined back into their previous position on the couch. His hands, which had been touching anything they could reach, had a new target. He palmed one of her breasts, his large hand barely big enough to hold it. She arched into his touch and moaned in his mouth. He began to kiss her neck, making his way down her collarbone, to the swell of the breast he was not holding, kissing his way down until he licked her nipple and then took it fully into his mouth. She tangled her hands in his hair and pulled until he looked up at her. He held her gaze as he took her nipple between his teeth gently. She cried out his name and threw her head back.

"I have wanted to do this since the moment I met you." He moved up and claimed her lips once more. "You came out of the inn and I forgot all about the bandits until you started giving orders."

"Since then?" She laughed. "I liked you quickly, but not that quickly." She rolled her hips against him. "It took at least a few minutes into our walk to Garreg Mach, right about the time when you asked if you could show me around." He chuckled. “I almost went with the Golden Deer because I thought it would be too dangerous for me to be around you so much.” He stilled. 

“You almost didn’t pick the Lions?” 

She nodded, running her hands on his chest. “But in the end, I just couldn’t stay away. I regret nothing.” She reached for his belt, undid it, and removed it. “Sorry, this was poking me.” They both laughed and resumed kissing, touching, grinding. Eventually he moved his hands to the waistband of her shorts and began to pull them down.

"Actually, Dimitri... stop for second. I don't think we can do this..." She moved underneath him and tried to sit up.

She was still talking, but he had stopped listening. He knew it. He had dared to believe this was going to happen. She said she regretted nothing, but obviously, she was regretting this. He pulled away from her and stammered while looking around trying to find her shirt. "Oh no! My apologies, Byleth. I am so sorry if I misunderstood what you wanted...I just, I got carried away and… well that's no excuse but-" 

She was confused by his reaction and guessed that he hadn't heard everything she said. She held his face in her hands and held fast. "Dimitri, listen to me. I said I don't think we can do this _here_. On this couch. It’s been ok so far but...it's kind of small and cramped, and I'm short, and you're tall, and I don't think it will physically work...you know...lining things up?" She covered her face with her hands, dropped her head down, letting her hair fall in her face, and tried to stop talking. She knew she was babbling. She felt her blood rush to her face and was happy the light from the fireplace wouldn't have shown how furiously she was blushing even if her mint hair wasn't blocking his view.

"Oh...I had not considered that." He sighed loudly. "I'm sorry, I just...really don't know what I'm doing." He grabbed her hands and removed them from her face. "I can understand if you'd rather not continue."

"I don't know what I'm doing either!" She laughed and tossed her head back to move her hair out of her face since he still held her hands. She closed the distance between them and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips. She rested her forehead on his and closed her eyes. "Dimitri, do you want to do this?" He nodded. "Ok, good. Because I want to do this. Stop second guessing that. I still want this to happen...just not on this couch." She broke away from him and stood up, not even caring that all she had on were her shorts and tights. Even though Dimitri had recently had his hands and mouth on her breasts, he averted his gaze while she squinted around the Knight's Hall. 

"Ok, the floor is not an option, I'm not lying on that cold stone naked, or even the rug on the stone floor.

"What about one of the tables?" 

She snapped her fingers. "The tables! See. That's why you were always my favorite student." She took his hand and stood him up, going up on her toes to kiss him. 

"I thought you said Felix was your favorite student." He said, picking her up easily. She wrapped her legs around him. There were two tables in the room. The closest one had benches attached, but people used it to eat sometimes. The one on the other side of the room was covered in books and maps. He carried her to the one on the opposite side of the room.

"Please don't talk to me about Felix when we're half naked." She dropped her legs from around his waist and pushed the clutter on the table to the side. "Or completely naked, for that matter." She bent and pulled her underwear, shorts, and tights down in one swift movement and motioned for him to do the same as she pulled her tights off her feet. It was easier to be brave being further from the light. 

But he could still see her as she stood completely bare in front of him, like a perfect statue. Like a Goddess. He froze with his hands on the waistband of his pants. She smiled. 

"Allow me to help you with that… _._ " She stepped up to him, ran her hands down his chest and abdomen, removed his hands from his pants and replaced them with her own, _“…Your Highness”_ teasing him with her words as well as her hands as she undid his laces and fell to her knees as she slowly pulled both his pants and underwear down. She helped him to step out of them then looked up and realized she was at eye level with his penis, which was so close to her face that it was perfectly in focus. She could see clearly how hard he was, and how big. It was much larger than she thought. "Oh, merciful Goddess..." she whispered. She swallowed and looked up to catch his eye, "and I thought your hands were big."

"Thank you?" He tensed up as he could feel her hot breath on him.

“Should I? Um…” She lowered her gaze to what was directly in front of her then up at him again. “You know, since I am down here?”

He looked down and realized what she was asking as she knelt before him. Just the thought of her doing that, using her mouth in that way, was enough to almost push him over the top. “No. No, no that’s not necessary.” He pulled her to her feet, put his hands on her hips and lifted her up to sit the table. She cocked her head at him, her eyes full of questions. “Even with the benefits of my crest, I just…do not think I will last very long, if you do that.”

“Oh.” She grinned and reached for him and pulled him closer, draping her arms around his neck. "What benefits?"

"Well... you know my crest gives me increased stamina. It also affects sexual stamina so...it can...it takes a long time for me...to...finish?" He sighed. "I have been told that is a benefit." His father accidentally let that fact slip out when he was giving Dimitri 'the talk' when he was twelve. Having had a few drinks to loosen himself up enough to have the talk, King Lambert ended up confusing and embarrassing his son more than giving him information. Until a few moments prior on the couch, Dimitri had never thought his added stamina in that area was a benefit at all. Any time he had failed to ignore his more carnal desires and took care of things on his own, it was just a nuisance because it took so long. "I suppose you will have to let me know if that is true."

"I will." She pulled him to her and kissed him deeply. In her talks with both Manuela and Leonie, a common complaint was that men often finished too soon and still expected to be complimented on their performance. She was happy to know it wouldn't be an issue for Dimitri because she didn’t think she could lie to him without him noticing.

He leaned over her, wrapping his arms around her back. It felt so different from just a few moments before. To think a few layers of fabric and a little more space could make such a difference! He could feel every inch of her skin pressed against him. He wanted more. He wanted everything. He kissed and licked her neck, stopping to whisper in her ear. "Do you want to find out just how big my hands are?" She let out a shuddering breath and nodded. He let his hand travel downward until it rested at the junction of her legs. "Um, I don't know what to do." He thought about the hundreds of conversations he had suffered through with Sylvain, including the one earlier that day, and tried desperately to remember details he had drowned or and ignored.

“Touch me.” She said, simply. He pressed his hand to her warmth, and she inhaled sharply. 

“I just…I do not want to hurt you.” Dimitri whispered, gently tracing a finger along her entrance and watching the reaction on her face. “You know I am not good at doing things that require finesse, and I... break things that are fragile.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not fragile.” Byleth assured him. “You can’t break me, Dimitri. You won’t hurt me…if for any reason you do, I’ll let you know.” 

Dimitri nodded. He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply as he moved his finger harder against her, again trying to remember what Sylvain told him to do without actually thinking about Sylvain. His finger moved inward and he knew he had found his destination. He slowly pushed past the resistance he found there and inserted his index finger into her. Byleth gasped in response. He immediately removed his finger and pulled away. 

"Byleth, are you ok?" Dimitri asked. He shook his head. “I hurt you. I knew I would.”

"No, you didn’t, Dimitri. I'm fine. I swear." Byleth said with a small laugh "It's just going to take some getting used to…your fingers are a lot bigger than mine.” she said closing her eyes and blushing furiously. 

“Oh…right.” The image of her touching herself came into his head unbidden and he felt his knees threaten to give out. He had touched himself, thinking about touching her, more times than he dared to admit. Was it possible that she had done the same, thinking about him? He moved his hand back to her and slipped his finger inside once more, moving slowly as she adjusted. “You…touch yourself like this?” He asked in between kisses he left on her neck. It was tight around his finger as he stroked her, but she exhaled with a moan.

“Yes.” His pace was maddeningly slow, and she wanted to tell him to go faster, but then she felt him add a second finger and she gasped. He pulled his head from her neck and kissed her lips, moving his fingers in deeper with every thrust. 

He put his forehead on hers and greedily watched her expressions change. How could he have ever thought she was not expressive. He brought his other hand to her breast and teased her nipple. “Did you ever touch yourself…and think about me?” Dimitri pushed a third finger inside and felt her open for him.

She threw her head back and he attacked the column of her throat with his tongue. “Yes…” He was not sure if she was answering his question or just approving of what he was doing, and he found that he did not care. She was breathing heavily, and he could tell she was close. He shifted his hand and explored with this thumb, trying to find the spot that Sylvain had told him not to ignore. He brushed up against the little nub and she gasped. Eager to please, he focused his attention there, while he sped up the thrusting with his other fingers.

Byleth whimpered as she clenched around his fingers, biting her bottom lip to keep from crying out too loudly. She had explored her body on her own but had never felt anything like this. There was an added pleasure in being able to surrender herself so completely to someone. Especially for someone as guarded as she was. She felt a pressure building inside her and she knew it had to give soon. The pressure intensified, and then overwhelmed her as Byleth felt herself reach her peak. She shuddered as she spasmed around his fingers. She forgot all about trying to be quiet and her voice calling his name echoed from the stone walls of the Knight’s Hall. 

He was entranced. She was already the only person who called him by his actual name, but to hear his name on her tongue, in that tone, was almost enough to make him come apart himself. He could not believe that he was the one lucky enough to be with her in this way. He slowly withdrew his fingers and watched her face as she finished, and he fell deeper in love with her. “Byleth…” She was clearly still in no condition to focus, so he kissed her instead and she continued to whimper against his mouth. He pulled away and chuckled. “Byleth…are you alright?” 

She nodded and started to giggle. “Hi.” She said, trying to contain her laughter. He looked at her quizzically. She nodded again. “I’m fine…good… really, really good.” She laughed and then kissed him. “I don’t actually have words for how good that was, sorry.” She laughed again, taking deep breaths until she was able to calm down. “It’s your turn, I think.” Before he could say anything, she reached down, wrapped her hand around his length, and whispered in his ear because she could not say what she wanted to say and look him in the face, unless she wanted to die of embarrassment. “I want you; I want to feel you inside me.” 

It was his turn to shudder. He helped her scoot further onto the table and climbed onto it with her. He briefly worried about it holding their combined weight, but it was a very sturdy table. She was stroking him slowly as she looked up at him. “Byleth…before we do this…are you absolutely sure?”

She nodded. “I am absolutely sure.” She let go of his member and instead wrapped both arms around his neck to bring him down to her so she could kiss him. How could he still doubt that she wanted to be with him? It was almost as if he didn’t know…then again, she had never said it out loud. She broke the kiss and held his gaze. “Dimitri…I love you.”

His eyes widened. She loved him. How? What had he done to deserve the love of a woman who was practically a goddess? He smiled down at her and figured it was finally safe to say what he had to keep himself from saying every time he saw her. “I love you, Byleth.” He kissed her and it almost felt different in a way, kissing her, and knowing that she loved him. 

He broke away from their kiss and held on to his length to center himself on her. She moaned as the head pushed against her entrance and she felt just how big he was, even compared to his three fingers. She took a deep breath and tried to relax. Leonie had told her it wouldn’t hurt as much if she relaxed.

"Byleth…If it hurts or you need me to stop or slow down…”

“I’ll let you know, Dimitri. I promise.” He kissed her softly. She nodded and wrapped her arms around him, and he began to push in slowly. She buried her face in his neck and winced. There was definite pain and pressure. She reminded herself to relax as tears sprang to her eyes and rolled down her face. She was glad he could not see her face, or he would surely stop. She had promised she would tell him to stop if she was in pain, but she didn’t want him to stop. At the edges of the pain, it also started to feel good, so she concentrated on that. The tears stopped. She was so busy trying to relax that she had forgotten to breathe. She exhaled loudly and she could tell her voice carried the evidence of the pain.

Dimitri stilled; he was only about halfway there. “Are you alright? Byleth?” She squeezed herself closer to him and he felt her nod against his shoulder and her breath met his ear. Her face was wet. “Beloved...are you crying? We...we can stop.”

“No! It’s… just a little much, but…keep going. I’ll adjust.” She kissed his cheek. “Please, don’t stop. Please. I want to keep going.” He exhaled sharply and nodded. He no longer needed his hand to help guide him in, so he stroked her head gently and slowly pushed in the rest of the way until his hips met hers.

She tried to sigh, but it came out a moan. She had thought that his fingers would have prepared her, but there was no preparation for what she felt. She felt fuller than she thought she ever could. She wrapped her legs around his waist and felt him move deeper still. He gave her a few moments to adjust and waited for a signal to continue. He looked at her questioningly, she nodded, smiled, and kissed him. He began to move. The pain was all but gone and the pressure was starting to give way to pleasure as he pulled out slowly and then thrust back in. He continued to thrust slowly and shallowly. It felt amazing, but she could tell he was holding back.

“You can go faster Dimitri, harder if you want to.” She groaned as he thrust in harshly on his following motion. “Good…you don’t have to hold back… or be gentle with me.” He began to pick up the pace of his movements and she gasped with every snap of his hips. She knew he was not physically gentle by nature. She had trained and fought by his side enough to know the kind of strength and raw power contained inside of him, and she wanted it. She wanted to feel his strength. “Harder.” She half moaned, half commanded and he growled in response. He slipped his hand between her back and the table and picked up the pace again, using the new leverage to move her against him. She moved with him and met each snap of his hips with a roll of hers. She focused on the feeling in her body, the sounds of his grunting and ragged breathing in her ear, she looked up at his face, brow furrowed in concentration, his mouth open, his eyes squeezed closed. He was beautiful. She reached a hand up to cup his cheek and his eyes fluttered open. He looked down at her and drew her up to kiss him. His thrusts became more frantic. He tightened his hold around her back and pressed her against him even more as they moved together, and he reached new depths that had her seeing stars. She wanted to tell him how good it felt but had lost the capacity to string words together, instead just making random sounds and more often than not, saying his name.

“Byleth…you are mine.” He growled in her ear. The timbre of his voice made her clench more tightly around him. “Tell me…tell me you are mine.”

“I am…Dimitri. I’m all yours.” She moaned, breathless, boneless, as she felt the pressure building and building until she could take it no more and exploded for the second time that night, shuddering in his arms as she gasped for breath. “I love you, so much.” 

She was so tight around him already, but as she clenched around him while she spasmed in his arms, he knew he would not last much longer. His thrusts became erratic. It was her words of love that knocked him over the edge. He buried himself as deeply into her as he could go and cried out as he spilled himself into her. “I love you. I will always love you.” He continued to thrust shallowly as the rest of his spend emptied into her before he realized what he had done. "Oh...Byleth…I am so sorry" Dimitri stammered through his gasping.

"Why? That was…amazing.” Byleth assured him.

“It was.” He kissed her gently, still trying to catch his breath as he finally stilled inside her. “I meant…I was supposed to pull out before I…finished.” He winced at his stupidity, recalling Sylvain telling him that he had to remember to pull out unless he wanted a bunch of royal bastards running around. Although the thought of getting her pregnant did not scare him as much as he thought it should have.

Byleth squirmed against him, still too caught up in the aftermath of her own pleasure and momentarily confused by his statement. She ran over everything Leonie told her in her head. Why was he concerned about that? “Oh!... Oh, right.” She reached up and cupped his cheek. “Um…I’ll just…go see Manuela in the morning. I think she has a special tea for stuff like this.” She reached up to kiss him again and he sighed finally pulling out and taking her hand to help her sit up. She felt empty compared to how she felt only moments prior and she felt fluid flow out of herself.

“Goddess, we made quite a mess of this table.” Dimitri laughed.

“I can feel it, and I am kind of glad I can’t see it.” Byleth laughed in return.

He wrapped his arms around her and caressed her bare back, kissing her softly. "How are you feeling?" Dimitri asked softly.

She smiled. “I’m ok. Happy. Maybe a little sore, but Leonie told me it would be worse the morning after, so ask me in a few hours.” 

“You know how you asked me not to talk about Felix when we are naked…” He started.

“Right, sorry.” He kissed her again. Even after what just happened, he could not get enough of her. She pulled away. "How are you?”

“Not convinced that I’m not dreaming this.” Dimitri chuckled.

“Hmmm” She held him to her, not wanting to let go yet. “That would mean I’m dreaming too and I never have dreams anymore.” She shrugged. “Must be real.”

“Must be.” He smiled.

“It’s getting late. We should probably get dressed and go to my room." She said.

He nodded, thrilled that she wanted him to stay with her again. "Stay here." He kissed her softly and hopped off the table to collect their discarded clothing. He handed her everything and she put on her glasses and shirt leaving her bra on the pile with her tights. No need to put it back on it she was just going to take it off again in her room. She watched as Dimitri put on his clothes and shoes, then had to suppress a laugh as she watched him attempt to mop up their mess with his socks. "This is not working very well...but it is better at least."

She moved to jump off the table to put on her underwear and shorts and realized she was far sorer than she'd originally thought. She put her hands on her abdominal muscles. "Wow...that's actually kind of painful." She let out a breathy laugh and leaned on the table. "Dimitri, my legs are shaking. I can't feel my legs." He stood in front of her and helped her finish getting dressed, including getting her boots back on as she leaned on him and giggled the whole time.

"Are you going to be able to walk back to your room?" He was concerned that she was in pain and having trouble standing, of course, but there was a primitive part of him that was also very proud of himself over how undone she was.

She laughed in earnest. "No, I don't think I can." She reached up and hugged him. "Goddess… What did you do to me, my love?" He chuckled, feeling his heart soar at hearing her call him that. He scooped her up in his arms, handing her the rest of her clothes along with his vest and ruined socks. 

She looked at him with a grin. "Are you going to carry me the whole way?"

"I carried you all the way from the Sealed Forest like this. I can manage the trip to your room." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek before resting her head against his shoulder as he effortlessly carried her back to her room. Once there, he helped her get a change of clothes, picked up Jeralt’s clothes he had dropped off earlier, and picked her back up to carry her to the bathhouse. 

By the time they were cleaned up and dressed, her legs had stopped shaking and she could walk again but he carried her down the stairs and to her room anyway. "A girl could get used to this." She teased, as they got into bed together and sat next to each other. 

She brushed his hair out of his face. "Any headaches?" He shook his head. "Good...Can I try to help you fall asleep anyway? Two good nights of sleep are better than one."

He nodded. "Any night I could lie next to you would be a good night." 

She grinned at him. "You already have me Dimitri, you don't have to sweet talk me." She released a small spell that she imagined to be like warm water flowing on his head.

He hummed in satisfaction but shook his head. "I am completely serious Byleth. I love you, and I will never leave you as long as you want me by your side." He kissed her softly. "Will you stay by mine?"

"Of course, Dimitri. I love you." She looked at her hand to see if doing the healing spell had any impact on her splinter. As she expected, it didn’t.

Dimitri followed her gaze. “Is something wrong with your hand?” 

“Not really. I got a splinter while I was sparring with Felix earlier, it’s not that bad. To be honest, I completely forgot about it for some reason...” She leaned over and kissed him. “I must have been distracted.”

He held her hand and kissed her palm. “You cannot just leave it in there.”

“I’ll take it out in the morning.” She whispered. “We should try to sleep for now.”

They lay down and he wrapped his arm around her as she cuddled into his side. She was almost asleep when she heard his voice. "Byleth...tomorrow during the battle, stay near me. I know you are more than capable on your own, but I would feel better if you were where I could see you." She nodded against his chest and they eventually both drifted off to sleep, oddly at peace, even with the war arriving at their doorstep in a few short hours.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this chapter was such a writing challenge for me that now that it's done I feel like I can do anything! Like, I'm going to take over the world now!
> 
> With this chapter, that's the end of the material I had saved up so the next update will take a little longer. Hopefully, I've left ya'll with enough food to snack on until it's done. 
> 
> Comments? Yes, please!


	13. The Battle of Garreg Mach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Imperial Army arrives earlier than expected. The troops are forced to fall back, and so does Byleth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last! The final chapter before the time skip. I honestly never thought it would take me over 70,000 words to get to the war phase lol. Here you go! Hope you like it.

Byleth’s day began when she was startled out of sleep by a loud noise. She squinted out the windows and judged that the sun was already fully up by the amount of light entering her room. She had slept in later than usual. She looked at Dimitri’s sleeping face. He was so peaceful, so cute. She curled up closer to him, and he tightened his hold around her, his eyes still closed. It was so strange to her that they had always been so shy with each other any time they touched, and now lying next to him and being enveloped by his warmth felt like the most natural thing in the world. She replayed the events of the night before in her head and smiled, thinking she should wake him up with a kiss before going to see Manuela about the tea and splinter. She couldn’t resist and kissed him gently, only to be surprised by him returning the kiss eagerly. She hadn’t realized he was awake, but it was a pleasant surprise. There was a harsh knocking on her door, and she realized that the knocking must have been the noise that had woken her. She broke away from Dimitri and sat up, his arm falling from around her as he grumbled. As she sat up, she had to bite her lip to keep from grunting. Her abdominal muscles felt like she had done a thousand sit ups the day before. She realized she wouldn’t be able to stand and get to the door quickly. Not to mention that Dimitri was there, and she didn't want anyone to see him. She cleared her throat.

"Who is it?" She called out, reaching for her glasses, and standing up gingerly.

"Professor, it is Dedue. It is quite urgent!" His deep voice said on the other side of her door. Hearing the conversation, Dimitri sat up as well. Byleth held a finger to her lips. She walked slowly over to the door and opened it enough to peek out.

"What's going on Dedue?" She asked.

"Professor, His Highness is missing. He has usually checked in with me by now.” Dedue shook his head. “I have looked everywhere. I cannot find him.”

"Byleth sighed. "Dedue…"

"What if an Imperial spy made it in last night and abducted him, or worse?" Dedue looked panicked.

"Dedue…"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Dedue, stop." Byleth put a hand on his chest and took a deep breath. “He’s here.” She opened the door further and saw Dedue’s eyes widen. When she finally opened it completely, his mouth dropped open.

"Good morning, Dedue." Dimitri said sheepishly, still sitting under the blankets on Byleth’s bed. Byleth leaned on her desk. “I am sorry to have worried you.”

"Your Highness! I... I apologize I did not realize." Byleth had never seen Dedue blush so furiously. She averted her eyes. She could not look at either of them. 

"If you would give me just a moment, Dedue. I will be right out." Dimitri tried extremely hard to sound as if he was not mortified and tried to look dignified despite the fact that he was blushing to his ears. Dedue bowed to Dimitri, looked at Byleth and bowed again, then hurriedly escaped the room, closing the door behind him.

Byleth shrugged at Dimitri and couldn’t help but smile. "Well...good morning?"

He chuckled and got out of the bed, making his way over to her. His blush deepened. "I... was hoping to spend more time with you this morning." He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply, the bulge in his pants against Byleth’s hip making it clear what he wanted to spend the morning doing. "But it does not appear we have time." He trailed kisses along her jawline. 

"Not with Dedue waiting outside the door, no." She pushed him away slightly and rubbed her lower stomach. "You may have to give me a few days to recover anyway." He blushed darker. She kissed him softly. "I'll see you in a little while. We can walk out to the outer wall together?”

He nodded, then sighed. “Today is the day I have waited for, for such a long time. It is hard to believe." As he changed out of Jeralt’s clothes and back into his summer uniform, he thought about how much had changed in only a few days. A week ago, he would have said that the fight was all that he cared about. He had not cared if he lived or died in battle as long as he took Edelgard’s head first. He found that instead of the excitement he felt about the battle previously, he felt nervous. He had never thought of what his future held other than revenge, but he wanted a future with her. He had never felt as though he had something to lose, until now. He would not lose her. Once he finished getting dressed, he pulled her close again and held her in a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. "I will see you out there, beloved." 

He released her and walked over to open the door only to reveal Leonie standing next to Dedue. Dimitri waved at her awkwardly and stepped out of the room, looking back at Byleth one last time before walking away with Dedue in tow, as Leonie entered the room and closed the door, scrutinizing Byleth.

"Good morning Leonie…"

"Good morning indeed...looks like you had a good night too." Leonie crossed her arms, grinning. Byleth cocked her head. Leonie pointed at her. “The prince just left your room, and you have a hickey on your neck." Byleth’s eyes widened and she touched her neck. "Don't worry, your collar will cover it." Byleth walked slowly back to her bed and sat down. Leonie raised an eyebrow at her. "So... you have a love bite _and_ you're walking like you just got off a horse after a full day's ride across rough terrain - You had sex!" Leonie flew at Byleth and tackled her to the bed. “Admit it, you and the prince had sex last night!”

Byleth yelped in pain and grabbed her abs. Leonie looked at her expectantly. Byleth blushed and nodded. "Yes. We did."

Leonie screamed. "Holy shit, tell me every single detail!" She sat up and pulled Byleth back into a seated position, watching her grimace. "Oh man, judging by the state of you, I'd wager it was pretty good. Let's get you dressed, grab some breakfast and you can tell me absolutely everything!" 

***

As they had breakfast and Byleth recounted everything for Leonie for a third time, they were interrupted by a panicked looking Seteth and Catherine. 

"Professor!” Seteth called out to her. “We've just had word that the Imperial army is closer than we expected. The enemy has reached the outer wall. They're about to break the defensive line and will be heading through the woods toward the wall that surrounds the village soon. They must have marched through the night. We were counting on having more time until they arrived, but it looks like that is not the case.”

“We need to move." Catherine was furious. “We have some support troops from the local nobles in the village, but the army we’re facing is immense. No matter how you look at it, with them inside the outer wall, we are at a disadvantage. Fighting in the village is going to be much harder than fighting on the open plain or the forest.” 

Byleth’s eyes widened and she looked to Leonie who was similarly shocked. They both stood and followed them toward the exit of the dining hall as Seteth continued, shaking his head at Catherine. “It does not look to be their full army at the wall. Less than a hundred soldiers total, but the Empress is among them.”

“Less than a hundred?” Byleth shook her head. “I know she didn’t learn strategy from me, but she has to know that you can’t lay siege to a fortress like Garreg Mach with so few fighters.” She shook her head. “It’s a bad strategy. Edelgard being among them is also strange. Why send your ruler on the frontlines?”

“Maybe they want to try to negotiate?” Leonie volunteered.

“Maybe, but unlikely.” Byleth answered. “Edelgard doesn’t strike me as a negotiator, but we can’t afford to underestimate her abilities as a fighter or as a leader.”

“They must have reinforcements waiting.” Catherine said. “It would be pointless to come all this way with so few people.”

“I agree.” Seteth nodded. “I fear they may be just the initial assault. And as they are early, nobody is in position yet. We are not ready. We were expecting to engage them from inside the outer wall.”

"We need to mobilize." Byleth said, struggling to keep up with the group, and trying not to wince. "It's about a thirty-minute walk from the outer wall to the village wall. We need our archers in place on the village wall now so they can hold them off while everyone else gets in position in the village. We can’t let them reach the monastery." 

"On it!" Leonie said. "I'll see if we can get some fliers to help give rides to our main snipers and their battalions." She turned to Seteth. “Can your wyvern battalion help?”

“Of course.” He nodded. “That is an excellent idea.”

Byleth looked around the dining hall, which was largely empty except for a few people, but she knew one of them was Ingrid. “Ingrid!” She called across the hall and motioned for her to come over to them. “Go with Leonie and Seteth. We need you and the other pegasus riders to help give the archers a ride to the village wall right now.” 

Ingrid’s eyes widened. “The village wall?”

“Leonie can explain on the way.” Byleth said turning to Leonie. “If you see Manuela, Lysithea or Linhardt, they can help by warping people." Byleth said. “It might be a good idea to get some mages on the wall too.”

Leonie nodded and quickly hugged Byleth. "I'll tell everyone I see that it's time to go." Byleth nodded, squeezing Leonie back before she, Ingrid, and Seteth ran out of the dining hall.

Catherine turned to Byleth. “Rhea is already heading out to the village wall. Let’s rouse the rest of our army...starting with this bunch.”

Byleth nodded and turned to face the few people in the dining hall. Beside her Catherine whistled loudly to get everyone’s attention. “Everyone...” Byleth began, her voice loud and much steadier than she felt. “The time has come! Grab your weapons and head to the village immediately. Spread the word to everyone you see on the way!”

“Let’s kick some Imperial ass!” Catherine shouted.

***

The next half hour was mayhem as their army made their way to through the village and to the wall. She would have felt better if she'd been walking with Dimitri as planned, but with everyone moving out more quickly than expected, she hadn't seen him. Walking through the deserted village felt eerie. Byleth had never been so nervous for a fight as she walked with her battalion. She was still sore and not walking as fast as she was capable. Evidently, having exuberant sex the night before a big battle may not have been the best idea. She hoped nobody would notice she was slightly incapacitated. 

"Byleth!" She heard Felix call from somewhere behind her. She turned her head and suddenly he was beside her. "What is going on with you?"

She tried to appear nonchalant. "What do you mean?"

"You're hurt." He pointed at her hands. "And you're wearing gloves; you hate gloves."

She nodded. "Yeah. I ended up not taking out the splinter last night and didn't have time this morning so…" He furrowed his brow at her. "I went to bed early. I'll take it out as soon as this is over."

He looked like he didn't believe her. "That doesn’t explain how you hurt yourself."

"I didn't..." 

"Stop lying to me. You're moving like you're injured." Felix made her stop walking. "What hurts?"

"Just my abs. I must have overtrained last night."

"We only sparred for one and a half rounds." He pointed out. They usually went for at least three, and usually five.

"I trained on my own afterwards." She started walking again. 

"I thought you went to bed early." He stopped her again. "I don't know why you're lying to me but it's pissing me off. Why didn't you have someone heal you?"

She shook her head. "It's superficial, Felix. I can fight through it. I can't have our healers wasting any magical energy on something this trivial."

"I guess not." He sighed. "Well, nobody is going to ask me for healing so...here." He held out his hands and released a healing spell on her midsection. She felt instant relief, and annoyance, when they started walking once more.

"Since when can you do that?" He rolled his eyes at her. "You and me? We're going to have a chat when this battle is over." He scoffed and ran off toward the wall to get in his place. Byleth walked up to hers, beside Rhea and Catherine, with Alois on her other side. She took in her surroundings. 

She ran her eyes along the village wall and spotted Claude and the other archers, arrows notched and ready as Bernadetta, Ashe, Ignatz, and Shamir manned the four ballistas mounted on the wall. She saw Lysithea, Lorenz, Annette, and Dorothea on the wall as well. Ready to either heal or attack.

It was still early morning but already the sun's rays were heating up the air around them. She spotted Felix wiping his brow, even after all this time, he was unused to the heat. Petra, who was next to him sent a small wind spell and he smirked in thanks. Further downfield Byleth saw Leonie, Raphael, Hilda and Caspar exchange a sweet group hug and then lift their silver axes and shout out a war cry that was picked up by Dedue and the other surrounding fighters until it spread throughout their entire army. Byleth was sure the sound echoed all the way through the Oghma mountains. Her heart lifted at the thought that Edelgard’s army heard it as they walked toward them through the woods. She hoped it intimidated them as much as it invigorated her.

“We have the goddess’ protection on our side.” Alois said as he took in the sight of their army next to her. “We have nothing to fear. Victory will be ours!” He put his hand on her shoulder. “Your father would be proud of you, kid.” On Rhea’s other side, Catherine had finished shouting and was rolling her neck and back, warming up.

Sylvain raced by on his horse headed toward the cavalry on her right. She could see Ferdinand and Dimitri at the front of the cavalry formation, Dimitri was easy to spot because of the bright blue of his cape. He was looking around the battlefield as well. Their eyes met. He looked relieved to see her and nodded at her. She nodded back.

Byleth looked up and saw Seteth and the wyvern lords circling the battlefield as well as Ingrid and the other pegasus knights. Seteth flew down to where Flayn stood with Manuela, Marianne, Lindhardt, and Mercedes, where they had set up a healing station. He gave her a hug before flying back to the front of the line. She closed her eyes and prayed. _Sothis, help me get them all through this battle._

The first line of Imperial soldiers came into view at the entrance of the village wall. "Loose." She heard Claude’s voice ring out followed by the hiss of arrows flying and clanking as they hit shields. She heard a loud boom, saw, and smelled smoke, and knew Dorothea had fired a Meteor spell. Although the archers and mages managed to stop most of the forces from entering the village, some made it through. The fighting began in earnest. 

In the confusion of battle, she could hardly tell what was happening other than the feel of her sword hitting enemies. They were pushing the invading soldiers out of the village when she saw Ferdinand in trouble. He was off his horse and squaring off against Hubert. She knew he did not have much resistance against magic. She was running in their direction when Hubert hit Ferdinand with a Banshee spell and Ferdinand fell to the ground, lifeless. Byleth reached for the divine pulse and ran to Ferdinand sooner, pulling him out of the way of the spell and he was able to use the momentum to whip his lance around and strike Hubert in the shoulder.

Hubert staggered, but laughed sardonically. “You may have defeated me today, but what you fail to appreciate is that we have, at our backs, a force you cannot hope to defeat.” He smirked at them both. “I can afford to retreat. We still have the advantage.” Ferdinand lunged forward to strike him again, but Hubert disappeared in a flash of light before the hit could land. 

Ferdinand turned to Byleth. “Thank you for the assist, Lady Eisner.” 

Byleth took a deep breath and nodded as Ferdinand ran back into the fray. Using the pulse was always difficult for her since her dad had died. She had thought that she had unlimited power to change things. She hated never knowing if she would be able to save someone, or if fate would rob her of her chance. She used the pulse more times in that battle than in any other so far. She saved Caspar from the jaws of a demonic beast, Ingrid from a fall that would have killed her when her pegasus was shot from underneath her, and Marianne and Flayn when a Meteor spell hit the healing station. She was getting tired and knew her magic was draining. She figured she had two uses of the pulse left. 

Byleth ran toward the group of commanding soldiers and helped Dimitri, who was engaged in fighting them. Edelgard stood just a short distance away in her Flame Emperor armor. She carried a large shield which was almost as big as she was. Byleth saw Dimitri rush up to Edelgard and watched as one of her generals buried an axe in his stomach. He was dead before he hit the ground. She reached for the pulse instinctively. She would not lose him. As he barreled toward Edelgard again Byleth rushed to flank him and tore through the general before she could attack him again. 

Byleth rounded on Edelgard, full of fury. “What are you doing, Edelgard? Don’t you see that this is madness? What are you trying to accomplish here?”

‘It’s futile to discuss my goals with you. I wish you were someone whose heart could be swayed by my words and deeds.” Edelgard raised her shield. “If it were so, I would have done anything to make you my ally.”

“You never tried! When did you ever try to talk to me, Edelgard?” Byleth raised her sword but did not advance. Maybe she could talk some sense into her and stop the fighting before the war had a chance to escalate. Dimitri had other ideas.

“You are early.” He said to Edelgard, stepping between her and Byleth. “No matter I... we are all tired of waiting.” He raised his lance. “Now, let us separate that sick head from your neck, shall we?”

She laughed at him. “You never were one for patience.” She looked around Dimitri at Byleth. “It is clear that you have made your choice by siding with him. It is too late to talk things out.”

Dimitri stepped forward and his lance clashed against Edelgard’s shield, knocking her back. She spun and countered with an upward slash of her axe that Dimitri dodged. Byleth unleashed the whip of the Sword of the Creator and used it to rend Edelgard’s shield from her hands then and dragged her forward so she could deliver a blow to the empress’ face with her elbow. Dimitri took advantage of Edelgard’s surprise to knock her off her feet with a low sweep with his lance. He held the point of the silver lance to her throat. “I will allow you a moment to confess to your crimes and atone before sending you to the eternal flames where you belong.”

Edelgard reached up to wipe the blood from her nose and sneered at them both. “You have fought well, but now your fight is over.” Edelgard tried to crawl backward a few steps, but Dimitri pushed the point of his lance closer. “Send in our reserve troops and give my uncle the signal!” She shouted. Dimitri stabbed downward with his lance. Hubert appeared to Edelgard’s right and they both disappeared in a flash of purple light. Dimitri’s lance was buried into the ground where Edelgard had been.

“Damnit!” Dimitri yelled, dropping to his knees. “We were so close.” 

Byleth put a hand on his shoulder. “Our fight isn’t over, Dimitri.” He looked up to see what she was seeing. Their small army had drawn the Imperial troops away from the village and back through the woods toward the outer wall. From the where they stood, Byleth could see the reinforcements Edelgard spoke of. Imperial troops were pouring through the entrance of the outer wall by the thousands, as well as over it, in all directions. 

“What...is this?!” Rhea asked behind her. “We...we cannot stand against an army of this size. This is not a siege; it is an invasion.” She walked up to Byleth and took both her hands in her own. “Everyone here, young and old, is in your hands. Give the order for evacuation. Lead everyone out through the tunnels in Abyss and make your way through the mountains. I will hold them off to give you all time.”

By the time Rhea finished speaking, most of their small defensive force was standing and watching the incoming invasion with eyes wide. Byleth turned to Dimitri, who looked to be near tears, but he stood and nodded at her. Byleth addressed the crowd. “You have all fought well, this battle may be lost, but we must live to fight another day in hopes that we can win the war. We cannot hope to stand against this invading force today. Lady Rhea has given the order to evacuate. You have all been briefed on this contingency. Go now, and may the goddess protect you until we all meet again.” 

“Fall back!” Catherine roared. The cry was picked up as everyone turned and rushed back to the monastery as fast as their feet would carry them. Every soldier, knight, and former student knew what they had to do. There was no arguing with the order, as everyone knew that it would not be given lightly. “Fall back!” The words were screamed over and over, mixing with the sound of the thunder of thousands of feet marching towards them. 

Seteth landed next to Rhea and Byleth on his Wyvern. “Everyone is evacuating. You both should go too.”

“No. You and Byleth go. I have put her in charge.” Rhea said solemnly. “I will not allow another Red Canyon tragedy to happen here.” Byleth watched as a glowing green light surrounded Rhea and in the next moment there was a giant white dragon where Rhea had just stood. “Go!” The dragon said and then took to the sky and shot a fiery breath at the invading army. 

The dragon swept back and forth over the invading army plying them with flames. Seteth offered Byleth a ride back to the monastery on his wyvern, but she declined, saying she had to stay behind until she made sure everyone had evacuated. She looked back to see Rhea was still trying to hold the wall. A horde of six demonic beasts came through the opening and set upon her, dragging her down as she fought them. Byleth felt enraged. She had lost her father, lost Sothis, almost lost so many today, she would not lose Rhea. Not when she had just started to build a relationship with her. She figured she still had one pulse left and she would use it to save Rhea if she needed to. Forgetting all about her promise to evacuate, she pulled out her sword and ran towards Rhea and the beasts. She reached them just as they fell into the wall in a pile of wings and claws, causing part of the wall to crumble and revealing the cliffside the monastery was built into. Some of the beasts were crushed by the falling pieces of the wall, but Rhea was still fighting two of them. If she didn’t help Rhea, there was a chance the beasts would push her into the ravine that was just beyond the cliff. She rushed forward and used the whip of her sword to attack one of the beasts. Her attack blasted it backward into the ravine, which allowed Rhea to throw the other one in behind it.

The dragon turned to face her. It was terrifying and beautiful all at once. "Why have you come?" Rhea asked her. Her voice still somehow discernible through the dragon's low rumbling tone.

"You’re my family, Rhea." Byleth shouted. "I can't leave you to fight them all alone." Byleth let out a gasp as she was hit by a surprisingly sharp pain in her side. It was not the same ache that she had been having all day. For a moment, she thought she had been stabbed. She looked down and was relieved to see that she had not been. She put it out of her mind and looked up at Rhea, resolved to stay and help her fight. 

"Byleth, it is not safe for you here. I don't know how long I can hold them back. You need to fall back and evacuate." Rhea growled. Byleth shook her head and held her ground. "I love you. Please go." 

"Byleth!" She heard Dimitri’s frantic voice in the distance, calling her. She looked around and saw him running toward her, Felix and Dedue close behind him. Why were they not evacuating? 

_"BYLETH! Look out, behind you!"_ She was stunned to hear Sothis' voice a second later. 

She turned around just in time to see Thales shoot a miasma spell at her. She held strong and took the hit. She was thankful that her magic resistance softened the damage from the blow, but the spell still pushed her backwards. She tried to dig her feet in to slow her momentum and stay on her feet, but she couldn’t find her footing. Suddenly, there was nothing but air underneath her. She screamed for only a moment, then fear like she'd never felt gripped her and stopped her scream in her throat. She was falling. She felt the wind rush past her ears. She saw the blue sky directly above her and thought of Dimitri’s eyes. She reached for the last use of the divine pulse and found the power was not there. She could not believe this is how it would end. She squeezed her eyes shut and braced for impact.

" _BYLETH_!" She heard Sothis' voice once more. Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this week I learned that it is far harder for me to write battle scenes than it was to write the smut in the last chapter. I had such a mental block for days! Anyway...next up Byleth sleeps and wakes up!
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated and loved!


	14. Presumed Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Byleth falls. We have attempted search and recovery, and attempted reconnaissance and rescue. Some missions are more successful than the others and one of our beloved ships hits an iceberg. 
> 
> CW: Grief, torture, briefly implied sexual assault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you know how I said that the last chapter was going to be the final chapter before we hit the time skip...
> 
> That...that was a lie. And I apologize for that. (Coco reference anyone?) 
> 
> I was originally not doing to do this chapter after all, but it demanded to be written. It demanded to be written so much that it ballooned to this monstrosity. It's long, but honestly it is one of my favorite chapters I have written so far and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. We also get our first not Dimitri or Byleth POV. Hello there, Felix!

Dimitri had gotten used to hearing voices in his head over the last four years, but the voice that was ringing in his ears was no ghost begging for revenge; it was a memory. Over and over he heard Byleth screaming. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the spell hit her and push her off that cliff. It had happened only moments before and yet he had already replayed it a hundred times.

"No... no, no, no…" Dimitri was on his knees. He was shaking. Tears streamed freely down his face and he sobbed as he relived the scene in his mind again, hearing her scream as clearly as if she were right next to him. But she would never be next to him again. "Please...no." Dedue tried to help him stand, but he was beyond help. His chance for vengeance had slipped through his fingers and the woman he loved was dead. What reason did he have to stand? 

Felix walked carefully along the side of the cliff, looking down. He couldn’t see much, but that was better than seeing what he was looking for. He turned away from the cliff and looked around. The stream of Imperial soldiers was still pouring into Garreg Mach. He, and the rest of their small group were well hidden behind the bodies of the fallen demonic beasts and rubble, but their luck wouldn't hold out forever. They needed to move. He looked at Dimitri and almost felt bad for him. As much as Felix hated to admit it, he cared about the stupid bastard, and knew this was another loss he didn’t need. Felix knew the boar and Byleth loved each other. Dimitri was almost human again when he was with her. Felix had been stupid enough to hope that she’d be able to bring the old Dimitri back. But Byleth was gone, and with her, he feared, went the last of the sanity the boar had left. He made his way back over to them. "We can't stay here. We need to move, meet up with the others in Gaspard as planned."

"No! No, no, no..." Dimitri wailed. "Byleth…she…"

"Shut up, Boar. You're going to get us caught and killed." Felix looked up. He tried to ignore the tears that sprang to his own eyes. He tried to ignore the grief he was feeling. There was no time for it. He could mourn her later once they got to Gaspard. He squinted and saw a wyvern in the distance, headed in their direction. He pulled out his sword and waited. As it got closer, he saw the rider had green hair and a passenger with red hair was with him. Seteth and Leonie. They landed next to Felix behind the fallen pieces of the wall and dismounted. He sheathed his sword.

"What happened? You guys were supposed to find By. Where is she?" Leonie asked. She looked at Dimitri who was sobbing into his hands, to Dedue, who only shook his head, then back to Felix. "Felix, where is she?"

He shook his head. He had to keep his voice steady. He had to be the strong one. He took a deep breath. "She's gone."

"Gone?!" Leonie repeated.

“Gone?” Seteth closed his eyes. “And Rhea?” Felix looked at him, confused. He hadn’t seen Rhea out there. Seteth grimaced. “The dragon. Where is the dragon?”

“The dragon was Rhea?!” Felix asked.

“Wait, wait.” Leonie broke in. “What do you mean Byleth is gone? Where did she go?” 

"I mean she’s gone! She got hit by a spell and it pushed her back toward the..." Felix looked at the cliff. "She...fell, Leonie. She's...." He couldn't hold his tears back. "Fuck." He screamed and stalked away as Leonie went to sit next to Dimitri and started to cry with him. Felix needed to get a grip. Crying wouldn't do him any good. Crying wouldn't get them out of this.

“Felix…” Seteth had followed him. “I know you are hurting. I am too. I don’t know how much she told you but Byleth was-”

“Family, yeah I know. Rhea too.” Felix clenched his jaw. “They took her, Rhea. The mages took the dragon and warped away after Byleth...fell.” Seteth exhaled sharply. Felix turned to look at him. “Is Flayn ok?”

He nodded. “She is fine. I sent her on her way to Gaspard with Catherine and Manuela. They will see her there safely until we get there.” 

Felix was relieved to hear at least three more people were safe. There was another question he needed to ask. He wasn’t sure he wanted the answer, but he needed to know. “Were there any other losses?” 

Seteth shook his head. “Miraculously, I do not think there were. Everyone seems to be accounted for... except for Rhea and Byleth.” He hesitated. “We need to get moving. We cannot stay here. With the walls breached, the monastery is no longer safe.” 

Felix nodded. He stomped over to Leonie, Dedue, and Dimitri. "This is bullshit. You two need to stop crying and we need to get out of here."

"Felix, how can you say that?" Leonie asked through her tears. “You said she was your best friend and you’re acting like you don’t even care that...that she's...dead.” Dimitri let out a strangled, choking sound.

"I can say that because I know her.” He looked around at all of them and shook his head. “She may not be...dead. If anyone could survive that fall, she could. I didn’t see her down there when I looked...She can't be dead!" Felix willed his tears not to fall. He kicked Dimitri’s boot. "Come on...we saw her cut her way through the fucking sky. It's possible she survived. We can at least go down there and look for her." Leonie wiped her tears and stood up nodding. Dedue nodded sternly. 

Seteth placed his hand on Dimitri’s shoulder. “I agree. Byleth being what she is, who she is...there is a chance.”

Dimitri shook his head. He did not need to be given hope that she had survived. If he held onto that hope and she really was gone, it would be even worse the day she showed up as one of his ghosts. He had stopped crying and was trying to catch his breath. Felix sighed and bent into a squat in front of him.

"Dimitri…” 

His head snapped up. It had been years since Felix had called him anything but Boar, even longer since he’d called him Dimitri. It was ‘Your Highness’ ever since they were old enough to realize Dimitri was going to be king someday. 

“We can find her." Felix held his gaze. “We can try at least. Even if she is dead. We owe it to her to find her. But for what it’s worth, I don’t think she is.” Dimitri nodded and he finally allowed Dedue to help him to his feet. Felix turned to Seteth. He’d had enough of being in charge. “What do we do?”

“Right.” Seteth nodded. “It will take the others longer to get to Gaspard having to go through the tunnels and mountains than it will for us following the river. We have a couple of days to go down there and search before everyone starts to worry. I will fly us all down and we can start looking.”

Felix nodded, but said nothing. He watched as Seteth flew Leonie, Dimitri, and Dedue down in turn. He climbed up behind Seteth when it was his turn. He didn’t particularly like flying. He looked at the Airmid river flowing below and wondered if it would have been better or worse if she landed in the water. She may have ended up washed downstream miles away. They had two days. If they didn’t find her in two days, it meant she wasn’t down there, dead or alive. It meant either the river or the Empire took her, like they did Rhea. Felix wasn’t sure which was worse.

***

The two days passed quickly. They searched everywhere. In the water and under every rock. There was no sign of her. Dimitri was hopeful. Every moment that they did not find her was another moment he could let himself believe she was still alive. He did not sleep the first night, or the second. He offered to take watch outside the small cave they were sleeping in. He was tired of their pitying looks. He knew they all loved and missed her too, but they did not love her like he did. He had spent the previous night crying and remembering every moment he spent with her. He did not want to ever forget even the smallest interaction. 

_“You’re pathetic.”_ Glenn’s voice rang out in his head. He was shocked when he realized he had not heard from his ghosts in days. 

“You have returned.” Dimitri said aloud.

 _“Of course, we have! You failed us! Again! And now you sit and grieve over losing a woman? What about your vengeance? What about us?”_ Glenn yelled.

“I did not forget you. I will avenge you; I swear it.” Dimitri wiped his tears with his sleeve. “I just...miss her. I love her so much.”

“ _It is your fault she is dead.”_ His father growled at him. “ _You love her so much, but you did not protect her. If you had been standing by her, you could have saved her. You chose to evacuate and save yourself, like a coward. You only turned back when Rodrigue’s boy noticed she wasn’t with you.”_

“She told me to evacuate. I did not know she was not behind me. I... I tried to get to her.”

 _“Poor thing.”_ Patricia, usually silent, spoke up. _“She didn’t know the Blaiddyd family is cursed. She sealed her fate when she gave herself to you. You cursed her the first time you touched her, just like your father cursed your mother, like he cursed me.”_

Dimitri almost expected his father to retort, but his ghosts never really talked to each other. Only to him. He shook his head. “No, no, I did not curse her. All I did was love her. I can love her and still avenge you, I can!”

 _“So far you have not done either one very well.”_ Glenn scoffed. 

“I am sorry. I will do better, I swear it.” Dimitri’s tears rolled down his face. He took a small comfort in the fact that, though his ghosts had returned, Byleth was not among them. She might still be alive. He looked up at the stars. He found the Blue Sea Star in the sky. The legends said that the goddess returned from there once, maybe Byleth could return to him alive as well. 

“ _Don’t be ridiculous!”_ Glenn laughed. “ _She fell off a cliff. She’s dead. She obviously just doesn’t care enough about you to haunt you.”_

In the cave, the others were still awake sitting around a small fire in silence, all trying to avoid the fact that they could clearly hear Dimitri talking to himself outside. 

Seteth cleared his throat. “I have to ask...who is he talking to?”

“Ghosts.” Felix rolled his eyes. “His dad and stepmom, and my brother.” Dedue glared at him. “What, Dedue?” Felix crossed his arms. “I know you follow his orders blindly, but you can’t tell me you believe this nonsense. Besides, if my brother were going to haunt anyone, I’m pretty sure it would be me.”

“You believe in ghosts, Felix?” Leonie asked.

“No. That’s why I’m pretty sure that whatever the boar hears, it’s all in his head. He needs help, from a therapist not from an exorcist.” 

“He keeps saying he loves someone...someone he misses.” Seteth was eavesdropping shamelessly. “Can I assume he is talking about…” 

“Byleth, yeah.” Leonie’s eyes filled with tears again. She sat up from where she was leaning on Felix. “Oh, but nothing happened between them while she was still a professor, Seteth.”

Felix smirked. “Well...not nothing.”

“His Highness and the Professor were not involved while we were still students. They respected the rules.” Dedue said, crossing his arms and glaring at Felix again. 

“Right, they just kissed a bunch and were technically engaged, not involved at all.” Felix scoffed. ” Perfectly in accordance with the rules, right Seteth?”

“Felix!” Leonie smacked his arm.

“What? Seteth doesn’t care.” He gestured at Seteth, who opened his mouth, but then closed it and shrugged. “See...he doesn’t care. I mean, By isn’t a professor anymore and the boar isn’t a student anymore. She may be dead and he’s definitely insane... we’re at war, Byleth and Rhea are missing… seriously, who the fuck cares that they kissed?”

“Evidently His Highness does.” Seteth quipped and they all looked at him in shock. “What?”

“You…said something funny, which is weird enough.” Leonie was trying hard not to laugh. “But you told a joke about someone breaking one of your rules. That’s shocking.”

“Oh please…” Seteth shrugged. “They would hardly be the first professor and student at the academy to fall for each other. If anyone understands that it is me. Why do you think we even have that rule?” Seteth blushed and looked down at his hands.

“You, Seteth? You fell for a student?” Leonie asked, grinning.

Seteth smiled. “No... a professor. When I was a student...an exceptionally long time ago.”

“That’s so cute. What happened?” Leonie asked.

“I married her.” He smiled sadly. 

“I did not realize you were married, Seteth.” Dedue stated.

“Sadly, I no longer am. I lost her... years ago.” Seteth crossed his arms. “I know a bit about how His Highness must feel. Perhaps I should go out there and speak to him.” They could hear Dimitri sobbing outside.

“Give him a few minutes.” Felix said, shaking his head. “I mean, I know they loved each other... or whatever, but he’s acting like he just lost the love of his life. The last time they kissed was months ago, he shouldn’t be this broken up over a crush that never went anywhere. They never even told each other how they felt.” Seteth nodded, Leonie and Dedue exchanged a look like they knew something he didn’t. Felix hated not knowing things. “What?”

“They did actually tell each other how they felt.” Leonie said. “And it wasn’t months ago, Felix…” Dedue shook his head at Leonie, but both Felix and Seteth urged her to continue. “Ok fine...Sunday night she healed his headache and they made out and he slept in her room, in her bed...with her in it.”

“Wait...he slept?” Felix asked. “He never sleeps!”

Leonie nodded. “And then Monday night, they...you know, had sex.” Seteth’s eyebrows shot up and Felix’s mouth dropped open. “I know, right?”

“Leonie, I do not believe either of them would want that information divulged.” Dedue scowled at her.

“Well neither of them are in this cave, so....” Leonie pointed out.

“Monday night? The night before the battle?” Felix asked. Leonie nodded. “That lying little...she told me she went to bed early!”

“Oh, they were in bed pretty early.” Leonie smirked. Dedue frowned.

Seteth shook his head. “No wonder he’s so upset.”

***

The next day as they walked along the Airmid river on their way to Gaspard, Felix kept an eye on the water, both hoping he would spot something of hers and hoping he wouldn’t. By the time they arrived in Gaspard, some of the others had already arrived. Once the news about Byleth and Rhea was dropped, nobody wanted to stick around much longer and were ready to depart again with plans to keep in touch and regroup once they had a plan against the Empire, or a leader to fight behind. Their battalions and soldiers all dispersed. The former students of the academy stayed a day longer and had a funeral service for Byleth. Felix was annoyed and didn’t want to attend. Why would he go to a funeral when there was no body found, no proof, she was just presumed dead. In the end, Leonie forced him to go. She and Raphael were the first to leave Gaspard, since they had a long way to go and were travelling on foot, while a lot of the others had wyverns or horses. Leonie and Felix shared a hug before they left. 

“I promise I’ll let you know if I find her.” Felix told her. Leonie looked at him almost pityingly. By the way she’d been crying at the funeral, Felix guessed she was sure that Byleth was gone for good, but he wasn't ready to give up on her just yet. 

The next group to leave, Claude, Lysithea, Hilda, Marianne, Ingrid and Lorenz, had the furthest to travel, even on Claude and Hilda’s wyverns and Ingrid’s pegasus, it would be a long trip. They were going to drop Ingrid off in Galatea and then continue into Daphnel and the rest of the alliance territory. Ferdinand, Caspar, Bernadetta, and Linhardt departed on horseback soon after. They had a slightly safer journey, travelling around the mountains into Adrestia as Adrestian nobility. It helped that Hevring, Varley, Bergliez, and Aegir all bordered each other, so they would not be passing through enemy territory, but since they were not sure what they would find when they got to their territories, Professor Hanneman went along with them to ensure they each made it home. Dorothea, on the other hand, decided there wasn’t much left for her in Adrestia, and decided to travel to Brigid with Petra instead. They departed with the rest of the Eagles but were planning to split from the group once they reached Hevring and travel to Brigid by boat from there. Alois went home to his wife and daughter in Remire, with a promise to return to service the moment he was called. Gilbert decided to accompany the Lions back to the Kingdom at Annette’s insistence. Seteth, Flayn, Manuela, Catherine, and the rest of the Knights of Seiros were planning to split up and continue the search for Rhea. Seteth left Felix with a promise of his own to contact him if they found a trace of either Rhea or Byleth. 

Out of everyone, Seteth, Flayn, and Felix were the only ones who genuinely believed Byleth was still out there somewhere. Except for maybe the boar, but who knew what he actually believed. He may have just been in deep denial. He was a mess and Felix was worried about him. Dimitri had not slept since the night before the battle. He was not talking to the others unless he had to, and he spent most of his time alone, muttering to his ghosts. They needed to get him home to Fhirdiad. Maybe once they were home, he could find some comfort before he took the crown. There was no way he could lead the country in his current condition. 

Eventually, after everyone else departed, the only ones left at Ashe’s house were Gilbert and the original Blue Lions, except for Ingrid. They planned to leave for Fhirdiad at first light. They all had to borrow horses from Ashe, except for Sylvain, who still had his. Felix usually preferred to walk, but there was no way he would make it all the way to Fhirdiad on foot, much less all the way to Fraldarius. He minded less once Annette agreed to ride with him. He expected a smart-ass comment from Sylvain but was surprised when Sylvain told him he and and Ingrid had said a tearful and romantic goodbye before she left with the Alliance group. Upon finding out that they had gotten together the night before the battle as well, Felix was stunned. He briefly wondered how many other people had decided to be together that night, then decided he didn’t want to know. For being a bunch of logical, badass warriors – they were all a bunch of emotional soft-hearted romantics. It was gross.

When the sun came up the next morning, Felix was up early and thought he would be the first one at the stables, instead, he found Dimitri grooming his horse and staring off into space.

“Did you sleep?” Felix asked in greeting. Dimitri shook his head. “You haven’t eaten anything either. You need to. We can’t have you falling off your horse on the way home.” Dimitri nodded, looking down and saying nothing. Felix sighed. “Dimitri...I know you’re grieving for her. We didn’t do the right thing for you last time you lost someone. We gave you too much space. I’m not going to let that happen this time. I won’t let you drown in your grief again, but you have to do your part.” Dimitri looked up. “Follow me and eat something.” Dimitri put down the horse brush and followed Felix to the kitchen. He agreed to eat some bread and fruit. It was better than nothing. 

“You know, you’re going to feel like a colossal idiot about all this moping when we find her.” Felix scoffed, drinking his coffee.

Dimitri swallowed thickly. “You...really think she is still alive?”

“Yes. I really think she’s still alive.” Felix frowned. “We didn’t see a thing in all the time we searched. Not a boot, not a hair, not the smallest blood stain, nothing. I think those mages found her and took her like they did Rhea.” Dimitri looked stricken. “But she’s valuable. They won’t hurt her. We just need to get to the Kingdom, get you crowned, and regroup. Once you’re in charge you can send a team to the Empire to find her and get her back.” 

Dimitri nodded. “Let us depart then.”

An hour later Annette and Felix waved goodbye to Ashe from their horse as they followed Dimitri on his horse with Dedue beside him. The sight of Dedue on a horse almost made up for the whole ordeal. He was as uncomfortable on horseback as Felix was flying and it made Felix smile genuinely for the first time in days. Sylvain and Mercedes rode next to him and Annette, and the girls chatted as they rode. Gilbert brought up the rear. They made it as far as Gideon on the first day and stopped at an inn for the night. The next day they would cross the Tailtean Plains into Fhirdiad. Felix and Sylvain both sent letters to their fathers letting them know that they would be staying with Dimitri in the capital for a while before heading home. Felix was sure his father would be thrilled. 

When they woke up the next morning, the town seemed out of sorts. People were staring at them as they rode out and Felix swore, he saw people crying. Felix knew people outside the capital sometimes reacted strangely to seeing Dimitri but crying seemed a bit much. They rode across Tailtean quickly, eager to get to Fhirdiad. As they reached the city Felix noticed more staring and more groups of people crying. He got an unbelievably bad feeling. They approached the castle gate and the guard stepped forward and stopped them.

“Your Highness.” He bowed. “I apologize...We...we were told to arrest you the moment you arrived and take you down to the dungeon cells.”

“What?!” Felix shouted. “Why?”

Dimitri shook his head. “Arrest me? On what grounds?”

The guard winced and it seemed like what he was about to say was difficult for him, but under the circumstances, Felix found it hard to feel bad for the man. “Your Uncle, the King Regent, has been murdered. You are the prime suspect, according to the witness.” More guards surrounded Dimitri’s horse; their sounds drawn. “We must take you into custody on Cornelia’s orders, Your Highness.”

“This is bullshit! We just got here, how could he have killed his uncle?” Felix dismounted his horse and pulled his own sword. “I won’t allow you to take him.”

“Felix!” Annette called out to him, dismounting, and trying to catch his arm. 

“I’m sorry Lord Fraldarius, we have our orders.” The head guard said as Sylvain, Dedue, and Gilbert all dismounted, following Felix’s lead, and drawing their weapons. 

Dimitri shook his head. “There must be some misunderstanding.” Dimitri’s head was buzzing. On top of everything else, his uncle had been killed. His stepmother was right. His family was cursed. “There is no need for force, I will come with you willingly and we will get this straightened out.”

“We’re coming with you.” Sylvain said. 

“I’m afraid we can’t allow that, Lord Gautier.” The guard looked sheepish. “The castle is closed to all visitors until the inquiry is over.”

“Our families have never been denied entry to the castle. We have been welcome since Loog built it; we grew up here; we're hardly visitors!” Felix shouted; his sword still drawn.

“Again...I apologize, Lord Fraldarius.” He bowed. “Our orders come from Cornelia. Nobody is allowed inside.” He turned to Dimitri. “Come with us, Your Highness. Please.”

Dimitri nodded and dismounted. The head guard pulled a pair of strange looking restraints out of a wooden box and placed them on Dimitri’s wrists. 

“You are handcuffing him? Surely that isn’t necessary!” Gilbert admonished them, clearly shocked. "To think that any guard in the Kingdom's service would dare to put a Blaiddyd in chains...You have known this boy all his life, you know he is not capable of what he stands accused of.” The guard repeated his defense that they were only following orders. As soon as the cuffs were locked into place, they glowed for a moment and then stopped. Dimitri fell to the ground in a dead faint. 

“What did those things do to him?!” Felix shouted. Mercedes gasped and had rushed forward and pushed through the guards. 

She held up a healing spell as they moved to restrain her. “Wait...please. He has been through a lot this week, without his crest...he won’t make it to the castle without healing.” The head guard nodded and allowed Mercedes to approach Dimitri on the ground. She released the healing spell and Dimitri opened his eyes. Mercedes gasped again and released another healing spell against his chest. Dimitri was pulled to his feet, leaving Mercedes behind on the ground. Her eyes were full of tears. The guards pulled Dimitri forward and walked him through the open gate toward the castle.

"Mercedes? What happened to him?" Felix demanded, rushing to her and helping her stand. She was unsteady on her feet.

She wiped her tears with a handkerchief from her pocket. "The cuffs, they dampened his crest. He's been depending on it to avoid sleeping and eating...I... I didn’t realize how much pain he was in." Mercedes put her hand on her heart and wept; she faltered on her feet. Dedue caught her and she cried into his chest.

The head guard had not followed the others into the castle. He cleared his throat. "Lord Fraldarius, Lord Gautier...your families have always supported the royal family...I would recommend that you find a safe place to stay here in the city and stay there. Do not roam the city. Do not attempt to travel back to your territories. You will not arrive if you do."

Felix gripped his sword. "Is that a threat?!"

The guard shook his head and Felix noticed his eyes were full of tears. "No, sir. It is a warning. Your father...Duke Fraldarius, he has always been kind to me. Allow me to repay that kindness by saving his son...since I have failed his rightful king." He bowed and made his way back to the tower.

"This is bad. This is very bad." Sylvain muttered.

Annette insisted they all go stay with her family until they could figure out what to do. Gilbert hesitated saying his brother would deny him entry, but Annette’s determination to reunite her parents won. They arrived at Baron Dominic’s home and he welcomed them all with open arms, including his wayward younger brother. All day they waited for news. The town crier came through hours later with the announcement that the person responsible for the death of the King Regent had been arrested and would stand trial. Felix rushed out and accosted the bellman before the others could stop him. 

“The person responsible? Did they say who it was?” Felix asked. 

“No, sir. I was not given that information.” He replied. 

“The trial, when is it? Where?” Felix demanded.

“I was not given that information, sir. They said it would be a closed trial with only a judge present.” He turned and scampered away before Felix could ask him any more questions. A week passed before any news reached them again. 

“Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! The accused in the case of the murder of the King Regent, Rufus Blaiddyd, has been found guilty! A sentence of execution has been handed down and will take place in the coming days!” The crier’s voice rang through the city of Fhirdiad and the neighboring towns. 

“We need a plan. We’re breaking into that castle tonight.” Felix said. The crier had said they had days, but not how many. They decided that night Felix and Sylvain would do reconnaissance, since they knew the castle best. They would break in and see what they were up against then would make the plan and get him out the following day. Dedue wanted to go, but they decided he was too big to be inconspicuous, and Annette was forbidden to break into the castle by Gilbert, Baron Dominic, and her mother. Mercedes was forbidden to break into the castle by Annette. All three were resentful about the decision. 

***

When she had him placed in his cell, Cornelia told Dimitri that the restraints on his wrists dampened his crest, saying that no prison had been built that could hold a Blaiddyd crest holder. She had been right. If he had his full strength, he could bend the bars or break through the stone walls. He could not believe that he was being held prisoner in his own home, for a crime he did not commit. He and his uncle Rufus had never truly gotten along, but Dimitri would never have raised a hand against him. His uncle had joined his other ghosts. He was angry at first, but was now mostly quiet, content to stare at him from the corners of his cell, like his stepmother. His father spoke to him most.

“ _You are a failure and a disgrace, boy. Edelgard was right there and you missed your chance. You ran home with your tail between your legs and now look at you! Prisoner in your own castle.”_ His father screamed in his ear.

Cornelia and her guards had not let him sleep in days. They gave him no food, only dirty water he tried not to drink after drinking it the first day left him with terrible stomach cramps. With his crest, his stamina would have helped, without it, he was fading fast. 

_“You will doubtless join us soon. You will not survive this much longer, boy. You are weak! The Kingdom will be better off without a spineless wretch like you to lead it. Perhaps someone better can avenge us all once you are gone. Glenn’s brother, perhaps.”_ Dimitri covered his ears, but he could still hear his father clearly. Still, he would rather hear his father than hear Glenn.

Glenn only spoke to him any time he dared to think of Byleth, reminding him that her death was his fault, and that the only reason she had not joined them in haunting him was because she did not care enough about him to haunt him. He tried not to think about her as much as possible, but he could not help himself; he loved her. Not thinking about her would be like someone suffocating not thinking about air. His body and his mind could withstand the torture he was being put through, but his heart was shattered. By his count, he had been in jail for a week, which meant two weeks had passed since she fell. He missed her so much it hurt more than the hunger pains, more than the bruises the guards left behind during Cornelia’s nightly interrogation sessions. The moon shone into his small window, and he remembered dancing with Byleth in the moonlit courtyard the night of the ball, when he held her in his arms and kissed her for the first time. He would give anything to hold her just one more time. He curled up on his cot on the floor and let himself cry for the first time since he had been thrown in jail.

 _“Oh, stop moping! At least you got to be with a woman before you died! I didn’t have that luxury, thanks to you!”_ Glenn scoffed. Dimitri only sobbed harder, if only to drown out the sound of Glenn’s voice. 

There was a rattling of keys and his cell door opened. He heard multiple people walk in before hearing the clang as the cell door was slammed closed. He swallowed his next sob and felt a burning in his throat.

“Don’t stop crying on my account.” Cornelia said with a laugh, her voice playful. “I’m almost disappointed in how quickly we were able to break you. I expected you’d be stronger, even without your precious crest to help you.” She snapped her fingers. “Stand up.” Dimitri sighed and did as she asked. He had found that resisting only made it worse. Cornelia smirked at him. “Are we ready to confess yet?”

Dimitri stood tall, despite how terrible he felt. He looked her directly in the eye. “No. I did not kill Rufus. I did not order or arrange for him to be killed. I have told you so a hundred times.”

She shook her head and looked at him as though he was the lowest creature she had ever seen. “Still so damn proud...We’ll see how proud you really are soon. It appears that our interrogation tactics haven’t been working to get a confession out of you, so far. We will be trying something new tonight.” Cornelia reached for the dagger she kept on her belt and held it to his throat. He held firm. She bit her lip and then walked around him and cut the back of his shirt open to his waist and pushed it off, revealing his back to her. He felt the point of the dagger tracing his long scar and held his breath. His shirt pooled around his restraints. 

“Hmmm...and here I was hoping for virgin skin.” Cornelia laughed. “I’d forgotten the mess Duscar made of you.” She stepped back around him and cut his shirt free from his hands. “Up against the wall please.” She pushed him forward until his face and body were flush with the cold stone wall of the cell. He felt her breath on his ear as she whispered behind him. “Don’t worry, Your Highness, I’ll take good care of you. By the time we are done with you tonight, I doubt those old scars will even be visible...” She raised his arms and hung the chain of his cuffs to a hook on the wall. Dimitri heard rustling and the sound of whips snapping behind him. He could not contain his gasp. “Ah...you know the sound I see. Good... I will ask you one last time. Are you ready to confess to the murder of King Regent and Grand Duke of Itha, Rufus Blaiddyd?”

Dimitri took a deep breath. “No.” 

“As you wish.” She grabbed the waistbands of his pants and underwear, pulling them down. “Step out.” Tears rolled down his cheeks as he complied. He was glad she could not see them. “Gentlemen, if you would...let’s start with fifty.” 

Dimitri leaned his head on the wall and closed his eyes. He wondered if it would be worse if he braced himself, or if he tried to relax. He did not have time to think about it before the first lash landed and he found it did not matter what he did. The pain was excruciating. He could not even find a thought to distract himself. There was nothing in the world except the sound of the cracking of the whips and the pain as they hit his back, his butt, the backs of his legs. He felt pain in his throat, and it registered to him that he must have been screaming. Repeatedly, when he seemed at the brink of fainting, they stopped and Cornelia threw a healing spell at him, not enough healing to help the pain, only to keep him conscious when they started whipping again. They had surpassed the original fifty lashes many times over. 

"Stop." Cornelia's voice echoed off his cell walls, as did her laugh. The guards stopped their assault on his back. She removed the chain from the wall, and he fell to the floor. "Tsk, tsk, Your Highness. A bloody floor is no place for royalty.” Her voice went from sickly sweet to harsh. "Get him on his feet." Dimirti was pulled up and made to stand. The pain was almost unbearable. He had a fleeting thought of Byleth, and how good her healing magic would feel on his back now. “Your Highness…” She had gone back to her playful tone. “My dear boy, you will make this so much easier if you just confess.”

Dimitri shook his head. His voice cracked in his throat. He was surprised he could speak at all. “No...I cannot confess to something I did not do. I did not kill my uncle. It was...not me. I swear it was not me.” 

Cornelia laughed. “Well, of course it wasn’t, you silly thing! We can’t both have killed him after all.” Dimitri’s legs gave out and he dropped to his knees. His head was spinning. He heaved but nothing came out. Cornelia was behind this whole thing. She walked up to him and raised his face with a finger under his chin. “I never asked if you were guilty, Your Highness. I simply said it would be easier if you confessed, easier for me. Either way, I have decided your trial is over.” She laughed. “Well, it was over when it started. We already announced the verdict to the city earlier today, so I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to tell you. Without a confession I had to weigh the outcome on the testimony of our witness….me.” She laughed again. “I therefore rule that you are guilty and have been sentenced to die by beheading. Just like your father...how fitting.” 

He shook his head, his body shaking from the pain. “You monster! Why do this? If all you want is the throne, why not just kill me and take it?”

“Don’t look at me like that!” Cornelia crossed her arms. “I’m simply doing what I must. Your uncle wasn’t even particularly well liked, and yet the people of Fearghus are up in arms about him being killed. Imagine if I killed you? The precious, handsome, universally beloved crown prince?” She sneered at him. “Your pathetic people adore you, you’d die a martyr, and I’d be seen as no more than a usurper!” She shook her head. “No. The Blaiddyd line must not only end; it must be disgraced. The people need to _want_ their new leaders, and there is no better way to do that than to make them hate the old ones…” She cupped her hands around his face and wrapped her long fingers behind his head. “The people are upset about the death of the poor King Regent; when we reveal that the jealous, spoiled, ungrateful prince killed him...the people will turn on you, they will want their pound of flesh. And they will get multiple pounds from your head when you are executed in the morning.” 

Dimitri’s stomach dropped, but his heart soared. He was not upset about dying; he had nothing left to live for. The thought that it would be over in the morning was almost comforting, but he was still nervous about what was to come. If the last few days of torture were any indication, he knew that whatever Cornelia had in store for him, she would not make the last moments of his life easy. He would not be allowed to die quickly or painlessly. He was afraid but relieved that it would soon be all over. He would be with his family again. He would be with Byleth. He could endure a hundred indignities if it meant he could be with her again.

Cornelia pushed his hair back out of his eyes. “Pity...you have such a pretty face.” Her gaze dropped. “Among other things.” She laughed. “You know, my bed is cold without your dear uncle in it anymore.” She stroked his cheek. “I have heard that a Blaiddyd with a crest is far better in bed than a Blaiddyd without one. A strong, young, thing like you..." She ran her hand down his chest and then lower; she gripped him in her cold hand. "What do you say, should I keep you for myself?” He willed his body not to respond to her touch. It was not difficult; she repulsed him. “No?" She stroked him and he grimaced. She laughed and released him. "Oh well…It would never have worked anyway...justice demands a price and you must pay it. Now...what is that phrase?” She held up her dagger again and traced it down the side of his face. Dimitri’s heart was racing as he felt the cold of the steel against his cheek. “Ah, yes...an eye for an eye.” 

*** 

When they were younger, before Duscar, Glenn had taught Dimitri, Felix, and Sylvain how to sneak in and out of the castle. There was a part of the garden where the trees cast a shadow on the wall just after sunset. That part of the wall happened to buck up against a rock formation on the other side. They climbed over the wall and dropped into the garden. It had been years since either of them had been in the castle, but they remembered the layout well. The problem was, even though they had explored and played in most of the castle as children, the dungeon cells were off limits, and the only entrance they knew of was inside the castle. It was too risky to go that way. They crept slowly and kept to the shadows, looking at the bottom of the castle walls to try to spot the small dungeon windows. The silence of the night was broken by an anguished scream. Then another. The hair on the back to Felix’s neck stood up. He looked at Sylvain, who looked like Felix felt.

"That's him, isn't it?" Sylvain whispered as they heard the scream again. 

Felix nodded. He steeled himself and headed in the direction he thought the scream was coming from. He was torn. Part of him never wanted to hear the sound again because he didn't want Dimitri to go through whatever was causing him to scream like that. The other part of him needed Dimitri to keep screaming so they could find him. Dimitri kept screaming. He would stop and then start anew every few seconds. 

"Goddess...what are they doing to him?" Sylvain was trying to whisper but the panic in his voice was clear. 

Felix shushed him. "Shut up and try not to think about it." They heard Dimitri’s frantic screaming again and it seemed to be coming from directly underneath them. He pointed down. "Windows." Sylvain nodded. He didn't want to look but needed to make sure they had found him. Felix crouched down in time to see a pair of guards repeatedly wield whips against someone he couldn't see. But he heard the cracks followed by Dimitri’s screaming. Felix heaved and stood up. Sylvain’s face was paler than usual in the moonlight and Felix knew he could hear the whips as well. He closed his eyes and tried to drown the sounds out until they stopped again. A woman was speaking. Cornelia, Felix assumed, but he couldn't tell what she was saying. "Fucking bastards. How do we get in there."

"There has to be another door. Let's keep going this way." Sylvain suggested. Felix nodded. They had walked away from Dimitri’s window only a few feet when they heard the loudest scream yet. It was horrifying. It went on and on, until it stopped abruptly. 

“Fuck” Felix started shaking. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…did they just kill him?"

"Don't lose it on me Felix. We have to keep it together." Sylvain whispered.

"Wait...look!" Felix pointed a few feet ahead and they saw two guards exit from a door concealed in ivy. They started walking in their direction. "Shit...get down." They both flattened themselves to the ground in the shadows of the castle. The guards didn't notice them as they walked by, laughing.

"I've always wanted to do that." One of the guards said. "Let me see it...Oh yeah, now that's a nice souvenir! You lucky bastard, why did she let you keep it?"

"She didn't, I snatched it when she wasn't looking." The other laughed back. Felix’s hand went to his sword, but Sylvain’s hand landed on top of his and stopped him from drawing it. Once they were sure the guards were gone, they stood up and opened the ivy-covered door. There was a guard inside the door who Felix knocked out with a Nosferatu spell before he saw them. If they were lucky, he would think he just fell asleep when he regained consciousness. He looked around and saw the rest of the area was empty. 

“Come on…” He motioned to Sylvain and they walked along the dungeon hall. There was another corridor leading to a cell at the end. 

“You go.” Sylvain whispered. “You can heal him if he needs it. I’ll keep watch.” 

Felix nodded and walked down the hall. They wouldn’t have too much trouble if the set up was the same the next night. The problem was going to be getting him out of the cell and getting his cuffs off. He held onto the bars and peeked into the cell. It was dark, but there was a ring of moonlight on the floor that allowed him to see into the shadows of the cell. There was a figure lying down on a cot. “Dimitri...is that you?” Felix whispered harshly.

The figure groaned. “Glenn…not you too, not now. I have heard enough. I understand.”

Felix shook the bars. “No, not Glenn...Felix. Listen to me. We are going to get you out of here. We just need to figure out how to get those cuffs off. We’ll be back tomorrow night and we are getting you out.”

“It is too late.” Dimitri mumbled; he groaned in pain as he stood up and leaned against the wall. Felix squinted but he could still not see him. “You are too late, Glenn.”

"Dimitri…" Felix raised his voice through gritted teeth. "Look at me, it’s me, Felix. Are you listening to what I'm saying?" Dimitri stepped away from the wall, limping into the moonlight. He was shivering, wearing nothing but a dirty pair of trousers. He was emaciated and covered in blood. "Oh...shit." Felix bit his lip. Dimitri raised his head and his hair fell out of his face. Felix clenched his fists around the bars and had to fight the urge to punch the wall. His eyes filled with tears. "What the fuck...what did they do to you?" The right side of Dimitri’s face was covered in blood, and there was a gaping hole where his right eye should have been.

"Nothing I did not deserve." His voice was hoarse. "I did not kill Rufus, Glenn...but my father is right. I am a wretch all the same, and I deserve to die for my failures. I could not avenge you; I could not save her. I cannot do anything. Do not waste your time or endanger yourself trying to save me again. My life is worthless." Without waiting for Felix to respond, Dimitri limped back to the dirty cot on the floor and flopped back down. 

"Wait...come over here I can try to heal you. It will help." Felix whispered. "Come on...I don’t know Physic; I can’t heal from a distance…you need to come closer.” Felix banged on the bars. “Please, Dimitri…you can't give up, you stupid idiot!"

"There is no point in healing a dead man, Glenn. It is all almost over anyway. I am ready for it to be over. I deserve for it to be over." Felix didn't know if Dimitri was talking to him or to himself, but one thing was clear. They had to find a way to get him out of there.

***

Felix awoke before dawn to the sound of a bell and a voice crying “Oyez!” He strained to listen. Sylvain burst into the room and Felix sat up. 

Annette woke up next to him and yelled. “Sylvain! What are you doing in here?”

“It’s now! It’s happening now!” Sylvain yelled. “The crier...he said...he said the crown prince will be executed today at daybreak in the city square.”

“What?!” Felix shot up and looked out the window. “That’s...now.” He could hear shouting in the streets. “We need to get down there. Maybe we can still do something. Speak for him or fight someone or...something.” He started throwing off his pajamas and getting his clothes on.

Sylvain nodded. “There’s something else...Dedue is gone.” 

Mercedes walked up behind Sylvain. “He’s gone?”

Sylvain nodded. “Sometime between when we left last night and this morning. I didn’t notice when we got back. I thought he went to bed because he was mad about not going with us last night. But he’s gone.” 

“Shit...Well, we can’t worry about that now. We have to get to the city square.” Felix was fully dressed. “Why am I the only one dressed, we are running out of time, we need to get down there!”

Sylvain ran to change. Mercedes and Annette threw coats on over their nightgowns. Gilbert was dressed already. Everyone, including Baron Dominic and Annette’s mom left the house and ran to the city square. It was a far walk, but they were not the only ones making it. The streets were filled with people all heading in the same direction. Some were crying, some were shouting angrily. They got to the square and saw it too was packed with citizens of Fhirdiad. They roared and booed as Cornelia stepped up onto the platform. Two guards dragged Dimitri, in his school uniform, onto the stage. He had a canvas bag over his head. The headsman was taking practice swings with his axe. Felix wanted to throw up. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen…” Cornelia started. “Citizens of Fhirdiad...today is a sad day for us all. As you all know, our beloved King Regent, Rufus Blaiddyd was murdered last week.” The crowd roared in anger. “After a week of refusing to speak, or tell us anything he might know, our own Crowned Prince, Dimirti confessed to the crime last night.” There was a gasp of shock that ran through the crowd. 

“Let him speak!” shouted a man in the crowd.

“If he did it, let us hear it from him!” another voice cried out.

“Very well.” Cornelia walked up to Dimitri and removed the bag from his head. Felix froze. Dimitri had two eyes again and looked no worse for the wear. Something was wrong. The crowd cheered for him. Cornelia seethed.

“Your Highness, Prince Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd...you stand accused of regicide for the murder of your uncle, King Regent and Grand Duke of Itha, Rufus Blaiddyd. How do you plead?”

Dimitri looked at Cornelia and sneered. “Guilty.” Sounds of shock were heard all through the crowd. Felix noticed how Dimitri stood, tall and proud. Not like someone who had been whipped within an inch of his life the night before. Something was very wrong.

“Why? Prince Dimitri, why did you do this?” Cornelia asked, crocodile tears running down her face. 

“I have my reasons. I won’t tell you what they are. You don’t need to know them.” Dimitri responded, flatly. Felix’s eyes opened wider. That wasn’t Dimitri. It wasn’t the real Dimitri! He shook his head. 

“It’s not him. Sylvain, that’s not him.” He shook Sylvain who was watching the scene with his mouth open. 

Cornelia swept across the platform, clearly playing to the crowd. “I am nothing if not a just and fair woman. I loved Rufus. As his consort, I am in charge now. I can offer you clemency, Prince Dimitri. I will commute your sentence to life in prison. You need not die today as long as you atone for your sins and show remorse for what you have done.” Felix looked around. The crowd was eating it up. Bunch of idiots. 

“I’d rather die.” Dimitri said and spat at Cornelia’s feet. 

“Yeah...no way that’s him.” Annette said.

“As you wish.” She nodded and the guards grabbed him by the arms and pushed him down onto the block. The reaction of the crowd was mixed. Some were cheering and calling for his head, others were openly weeping. 

Felix held Annette to his chest. “Don’t look. It isn’t really him, but don’t watch ok.” Annette nodded. Felix looked at Sylvain who was holding Mercedes in a similar fashion. Cornelia nodded to the headsman and the axe came down. Felix looked away at the last second. 

“Let it be known that this is the end of the cursed Blaiddyd line.” Cornelia said sternly. “My husband was one of them and he told me of their wicked ways. This country will labor under their curse no longer.” She pointed to the body on the block. One of the guards raised the severed head that was not Dimitri’s, but it looked so much like him that Felix clenched his jaw in anger anyway. “This Kingdom was started by a traitor when Loog Blaiddyd turned his lance against his countrymen and started the war that split Faerghus from Adrestia.” Cornelia pointed to the head. “This is what happens when we put traitors in charge. They turn on each other. Countrymen against their own countrymen. A nephew against his own uncle. We will be putting an end to this Kingdom’s traitorous ways today. As of now, the Kingdom of Fearghus is no more. We will be reabsorbed into the Adrestian Empire as he Fearghus Dukedom. Anyone who disagrees, and sides with the traitorous, murderous Blaiddyds, will meet this same fate. Choose wisely.” Cornelia turned on her heel and marched off the platform leaving a crowd of hundreds in stunned silence behind her.

***

They all returned to Baron Dominic’s house where Felix convinced everyone that the man they had just seen executed was not really Dimitri. They all wondered where the real Dimitri was. Sylvain and Felix snuck back into the castle that night to see if he was still imprisoned and were shocked to see that there were no guards on duty when they arrived. They ran down the corridor and Felix’s heart soared. The bars of Dimitri’s cell were wrenched open, and on the floor of the cell lay the broken pair of handcuffs.

“He got out. Somehow he got out.” Sylvain laughed. “Oh goddess, I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so relieved. I wonder how he pulled it off?” Felix shrugged. There was nothing to suggest a struggle. He would have loved to have seen the look on Cornelia’s face when she found his cell empty.

“Let’s get out of here.” Felix said. “This place gives me the creeps.”

Later that night, Felix lay in bed with Annette. He was antsy. He couldn’t sleep. He didn’t know how Dimitri got out of his cell, but what he did know is that he was injured, weak, and most likely being chased. Felix didn’t know where Byleth was either, but he knew she wasn’t dead. She had to be out there somewhere too, alone, injured, being held captive. 

“Fuck…” He groaned into his hands and sat up.

“Not now, Felix. I’m not in the mood.” Annette smirked at him.

“What?” He shook his head and blushed. “That’s...not what I meant.”

“I know, dummy.” Annette reached up and played with his hair. “I know you’re frustrated. Two of your favorite people in the world are out there somewhere and you want to find them.”

“Dimitri is not one of my favorite people in the world.” Felix crossed his arms.

“Except...he is.” Annette giggled. “You like to say that Byleth loves like a cat and I agree, she totally did...does. I used to think you were a cat too, but you aren’t. You, Felix...I’ve come to realize that you love like an albatross.”

“The bird?” He asked, looking down at her. Annette nodded. “Ok, you’ve piqued my curiosity. Why do I love like a bird?”

“Not just any bird, specifically the albatross.” She got up off the bed and grabbed a book about animals from her shelf, turning to a page she had marked. She sat down next to him. “See...They fight to show affection. They bicker and squawk and sword fight with their bills.” She traced her hand along his cheek. “That’s you. You fight and argue with the people you love most. You love to push their buttons, and they push yours like nobody else can. Sylvain, Dimitri, Ingrid, Byleth...your dad.” Felix narrowed his eyes. Annette closed the book. 

“I don’t fight with you, Annette.” 

“No... you don’t.” Annette said softly. Her eyes filled with tears. “We never fight Felix. We’ve been together for almost a year and we’ve never fought. Believe me, I’ve tried to start fights with you and you never take the bait.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” He asked, blinking back tears.

She shook her head and her tears started to fall. “Not under normal circumstances...but especially not for you. I don’t think you love me enough to argue with me Felix. There’s something that holds you back...and I don’t want to be with someone who feels the need to hold back from me.”

Felix exhaled sharply. He was getting soft. He had cried too often that week. “Are you...breaking up with me?”

“No...I don’t know…maybe... but I am letting you go.” Annette held his hands. He shook his head. “If you think Dimitri and Byleth are out there, then I believe you. You need to go out there and find him, find her.” Felix nodded. “You see...I’m telling you to leave me and you’re just agreeing with me!”

“I love you, Annette. I don’t want to leave you, but if that’s what you want...I have to respect that.” Felix dropped his head into his hands. She was right. He just couldn’t fight with her. Why couldn’t he fight with her? Fighting was as natural to him as breathing, and he couldn’t do it.

“I love you too, Felix.” She put her arm around him. “That’s why I’m letting you go.”

Felix got up and got dressed, packed his few belongings, and Annette walked him out to the front of the property. She pulled him into a hug, and he cupped her cheek and kissed her. She sighed. “Be careful ok.” He nodded. “And hey...If along the way, you figure out you do want to fight with me, or fight for me, I’ll be here.” Felix smiled at her, waved goodbye, and disappeared into the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things presumed dead in this chapter: Byleth, Dimitri, and the S.S. NetFlix. RIP?
> 
> As I said, I almost took this chapter out, but I changed my mind. My original plan was for this to be the first chapter of my next project after this fic is done, which is going to be Felix and Dimitri's adventures in the timeskip. I might still do that, we'll see. 
> 
> Next up: Let's do the time-skip again! Byleth wakes up for real this time, I promise.
> 
> Comments give me life! Without them, I am presumed dead as well.


	15. You're Early. I Missed You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth wakes up and makes her way back to Garreg Mach, meeting up with some old friends along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update already? Well, yeah. I pretty much had this one almost done when I decided to write the previous one after all, so enjoy an early update!
> 
> We finally...FINALLY hit the time skip! Stuff is getting real now. 
> 
> Title is a reference to the song Way Down Hadestown from the musical Hadestown because I'm a nerd. Enjoy!!

Byleth didn’t understand what was happening. She didn’t know why she was in Sothis’ throne room, or why she was suddenly hearing the goddess’ voice again. 

_“Oh my, you are still so dense. Yes. Thanks to me, you have survived. Believe me when I tell you it was hard work healing you from all your injuries. There were many. You would have been killed instantly had I not intervened. There are a few minor injuries that have not been healed yet, but I was focusing on the major ones. On saving you. And on saving the little ones.”_

The last thing she remembered, Rhea was still fighting in her dragon form, and Dimitri, Felix, and Dedue were on the field heading toward her. “The little ones? The little ones! My students! The battle!” Byleth was suddenly panicked. She needed to get back to the battlefield and make sure that everyone made it to the evacuation point in Gaspard. “Sothis, is the battle still going, is everyone alive? Were you able to help keep them safe, with me being injured? Where are we? I have to get back there and help!” Byleth stood up.

 _“So many questions at once!”_ Sothis materialized in front of Byleth _._ Byleth stared at her in awe. She had thought she would never hear her voice again, much less see her again. 

_“Sit, please.”_ Byleth sat. _“I am sorry to tell you that I do not know the outcome of the battle you were fighting, but I am quite sure it is over by now. We have been here for some time.”_ She floated so that it appeared she was sitting next to her. _“Byleth, your students, your friends, they are not the little ones I am speaking of saving. I am speaking of your little ones. The little ones you carry inside you.”_

“Sothis, I don’t understand. Inside me?” Byleth asked.

 _“Yes, the children you carry.”_ Sothis answered. She floated from Byleth’s side to in front of her. _“Oh, how silly of me, of course you could not possibly know yet. I seem to have appeared the very moment they did, and that was only a short while ago during the battle.”_

“Sothis, how can I be carrying children?” 

“ _You tell me, you naughty girl!”_ Sothis laughed. _“And just who might the father be? Let’s see if I can find out...”_ Sothis closed her eyes for a few seconds, then opened them widely. _“Oh, I sense crests of Blaiddyd!”_ Sothis clapped her hands. “ _The father is Prince Dimitri! Well, of course, who else would it be? I am both pleased and surprised that you and the little prince finally figured out your feelings.”_

“Sothis, no!” Byleth shook her head, and placed her hands on her stomach, trying to wrap her head around what Sothis was saying. She was pregnant with Dimitri’s children. Children, plural! As in, more than one child. "I know how it happened and with who...but that was just yesterday! It was only once, and it was my first time, and his! How could this happen the first time?" She remembered that she was supposed to have gone to see Manuela that morning and winced. She had forgotten.

 _“Oh, my dear friend. I’m sorry to tell you that sometimes this can and does happen the first time. Even if you had taken the precaution of drinking the tea, I do not believe it would have worked.”_ Sothis giggled. “ _Those teas never worked for me, which is why I fear that the fault for this is partly mine. Byleth...I am the Progenitor God after all. Creator. Mother. I can remember now that I have had hundreds of children, including multiple pairs of twins like yours. It appears that along with my other powers, you may have inherited my fertility as well.”_

“Well, thanks a lot for that.” Byleth crossed her arms. "And I see you have your memories back."

 _“And I see you're still as sarcastic as ever?”_ Sothis crossed her arms and huffed. _“You know, If it were not for the fertility I gave you, I would not have been here to save you from your fall, and you would be dead at the bottom of a ravine with every bone in your body broken.”_

“Thank you for saving me again, Sothis. How is it that you are here?” Byleth shook her head. “I don’t understand. When we joined, you said we wouldn’t see each other again.” She smiled reluctantly. “I am thrilled to see you again. I’ve missed you.”

_“I have missed you as well. As far as why I am here now...Well, as the Progenitor God, I have a small connection to every expectant mother, but I suppose that connection may be stronger because of my heart being present in you. Or perhaps…. it is just because you are you. You have always been a special case, my friend.”_

Byleth grinned. “So, you know I have your heart.” Sothis nodded. Byleth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was all so much to take in at once, she laid her hands on her stomach again and tried to picture the fact that she had two children forming and growing inside her. She smiled, yet tears sprang to her eyes. Twins. Byleth was sure that if she were not already unconscious, she would have fainted. She was going to be a mother. The thought warmed her when she thought of her father and what a great parent he was, and it terrified her when she thought of her mother and how she died. She was exhilaratingly happy that the love between her and Dimirti had created life but devastated that she was there in the throne room and she had no idea where he was, or if he had survived the battle. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling. “Sothis, I know you said you can’t tell what the outcome of the battle was. But can you tell me...do you know if Dimitri is ok?”

Sothis closed her eyes. _“I do not sense that he has passed, but I cannot be sure.”_ She shook her head. _“But you can find that out for yourself. My child, it is time to awaken. You should be healed enough to wake up now. I am afraid it has been quite some time that you have been asleep. Even though time has not passed for you here, it has continued to pass in your world.”_

“How much time has passed?” Byleth was suddenly gripped by an altogether different fear. She recalled the conversation she had with Seteth and Flayn before the battle. What if she had been asleep for hundreds of years? It was entirely possible that Dimitri had survived the battle, but then lived out the rest of his life without her and she would awaken hundreds of years too late.

 _“Do not work yourself up so.”_ Sothis said _“While I cannot say for certain how much time has passed in your world, I can tell you it has not been hundreds of years. What Flayn went through is something only a full-blooded Nabatean can do, and while you do have some Nabatean blood, you do not have that ability. Enough worrying...time to wake up.”_

“But I’m still so tired.” Byleth yawned. It was true; she was exhausted. She wondered how she could be asleep and still be sleepy.

 _“You are tired because you are pregnant. You’ll get used to it.”_ Sothis clapped twice. “ _Get on your feet. Right now! I’ll coddle you no more! You are just like a child, always needing me to hold your hand! But you are not a child anymore, Byleth. You are a mother. And it is time for you to face what comes next, whatever that may be.”_

Byleth stood up. “Will I still be able to hear you once I wake up, Sothis?”

“ _I believe so.”_ Sothis vanished and Byleth heard her voice back in her head. “ _There is only one way to find out. Open your eyes.”_

***

It took every bit of energy she had, but Byleth forced her eyes open. When she opened them, she found herself lying on the ground. She could hear water running nearby and looked up to see a face looking down at her. 

“Hey! Are you awake?” The face asked her in a voice she didn’t recognize. 

“Where am I?” She asked, trying to sit up. The man who had spoken to her took her arm and helped her to sit up. As she changed position, she was struck by a wave of nausea. It was strange, she had never felt it before, yet she knew exactly what it was. She was going to throw up. “I think...I’m going to throw up…” She crawled away from the man and towards the river in front of her and vomited violently into it. She had never been sick before. She hadn’t had so much as a cold, much less the flu, or a hangover bad enough that it involved throwing up. She hated it. Stranger still, as soon as she was finished, she felt much better. She took off her gloves and grabbed a handful of the cold water and cleaned her face, turning back to the man, who was watching her with open concern. “I’m sorry about that...where am I?”

“No need to apologize. I’m surprised you are alive after finding you floating in the river like you were. A little vomit is nothing.” He helped her to stand up. “We are in a village down river from the monastery. I honestly didn’t expect to find someone floating away down the river when I came fishing this morning. What were you doing in there?”

Byleth looked down at herself. She was wearing the clothes she had worn the day of the battle, except for the gloves she had just removed. She even had her glasses on. She realized everything she was wearing was dry. “I was in the river? I’m not wet.”

“I pulled you out hours ago. I didn’t hear a heartbeat, but it looked like you were breathing so I put you by the fire.” He pointed to the campfire she hadn’t noticed.” So, what are you doing here? Garreg Mach is upstream of here, but that place was abandoned a long time ago.”

“Abandoned? What do you mean?” Byleth crossed her arms, hugging herself. Her nausea threatened to return. Garreg Mach was abandoned. How could it be abandoned?

“Huh? You don’t know? Nobody is there anymore. Once the Archbishop went missing the Church of Seiros left, the Empire held it for a while, but they haven’t used it in years.” He shook his head. “It’s a shame. Only thieves frequent it now. Crazy how much can change in five years, isn’t it?” He looked at her suspiciously. “Say...you aren’t a thief are ya?”

She shook her head dismissively. “Five years? What year is it?”

“Um...It’s Ethereal Moon 1185. This week was supposed to be the millennium festival, but it’s been nearly five years since the monastery fell, so who has time to think about stuff like that anymore.” He took a step closer to her. 

Five years. She had been asleep for five years. She thought about the promise everyone had made to reunite for the millennium festival before the ball. It was only a few months ago for her, but five years for everyone else. Would they even remember such a silly thing? “The millennium festival?” She asked. 

“Yeah, but with the war and all...I doubt there’s a soul who has enough blessings worth counting, except maybe the Empress of Adrestia.” He scoffed.

“War?” Byleth exclaimed. “The war is still happening?” How many battles had been fought in the five years she had missed? How many of her former students had died with her not being there to save them? Were any of them even alive to keep the promise of reuniting? She had to find out. She started to walk away and found her legs weren’t as steady as she thought. She swayed and struggled to stay upright. 

“Hey!” He reached out to steady her. “Slow down, will ya! Where do you think you’re going?” 

She was dizzy. She was tired. She needed to get back home. “I have to get to the monastery.”

“Are you crazy? With all the thieves running around? And there’s other dangers too.” He shook his head. “There was a rumor that just the other day some Imperial troops showed up there and they were all slaughtered. Every last one! And you aren’t very steady on your feet. You can’t go anywhere near the monastery, it isn’t safe!”

“I have to go…” Byleth pulled away from him, walking more slowly. “My students are waiting for me.”

“Your students?” He shook his head. “I told you, there haven't been students up there for years. Are you sure you’re feeling ok? You didn’t hit your head, or anything did you? I could take you home to my wife if you need a healer?”

“I’m fine.” She was not fine. That was obvious, but she needed to go back to Garreg Mach and see for herself what was going on there. 

“You just remember I tried to stop you, got it!” He took his hand from her arm. “It’s not my fault if you end up dead!”

Byleth stopped and turned back to him, her face schooled into her old Ashen Demon mask. “Thank you for your help.” She pulled out her sword, pleased that it also was in one piece. “I can take care of myself.” She turned away from him and started to walk upstream, towards the monastery.

“Unbelievable.” She heard him mutter behind her. She couldn’t help but agree. She’d heard a lot of things since Sothis woke her in the throne room and each seemed more unbelievable than the last. She looked up at the mountainside. As she walked, she realized she was just outside Maghred. She decided to double back and go there. From there she could take the road up the mountains to Garreg Mach. It would probably take her two days to get there.

"I don't suppose there is some type of Goddess magic I don't know about that can get me there faster?" She asked, hoping to get an answer.

 _"Very funny."_ Sothis said.

"Oh good, you're still there." Byleth sighed. She was already tired, and she had just started walking.

" _Perhaps you can find a horse in Maghred?"_ Sothis suggested. " _They aren't magic, but it would keep you off your feet."_

Byleth groaned. "Am I going to feel this terrible for the whole nine months?" She was not liking pregnancy already.

 _"Oh, my dear...you will feel so much worse."_ Sothis giggled. _"Sorry, it's just a little amusing to see you so out of sorts."_

The sun was beginning to set by the time she arrived in Maghred. She decided to stop and make camp. She was starving. She fashioned a fishing pole out of a tree branch and green vines she found in the undergrowth. She was cooking several fish over her campfire when Sothis remarked on her survival ingenuity.

"I wasn't always a professor eating multiple helpings in a dining hall, you know." She said, taking a bite of a fish. 

" _I'll remember not to underestimate you."_ Sothis giggled. 

Byleth finished her fish and leaned against a tree covered in her cloak, staring at the fire. Five years. Already, from one conversation with a stranger, she could tell that so much had changed. She nodded off to sleep thinking about Dimitri and wondering how much he had changed and hoping that against all odds his feelings for her were still the same five years later. 

***

She had no sooner opened her eyes the following morning before she was hit by another wave of nausea. She scrambled to the creek where she had fished the night before and emptied her stomach repeatedly. She struggled to catch her breath. "Sothis...I hate...this, make it stop." Sothis didn't respond and Byleth figured she was still sleeping. She heard a noise coming from the trees that sounded like someone stepping on a twig. She dashed the few feet to where she'd left her sword, turned, and leveled it at the man standing before her. A dark-skinned, dark-haired man, who was dressed in bright golden yellow and aimed an arrow directly at her heart.

"Hi there, Teach." He winked at her but didn't drop his weapon. "Fancy meeting you here."

“Claude!” She lowered her sword. He looked almost exactly the same. Sure, the hair was different, and he had the beginnings of a beard, but he still had the same impish smile. She suddenly wanted to cry but held back.

“You overslept, Teach.” He laughed. “Pretty rude to keep everyone waiting like that. Wouldn’t you say?” Byleth’s mouth dropped open. “What’s with that surprised look my friend? You didn’t think we’d all given up on you coming back, did you?”

“You didn’t?”

“Some were quicker to think you were gone for good than others. I’ll admit that I was one of them at first, but I’ve had some talks with a couple of people who were pretty convinced you’d come back. Call me a convert. I knew you’d be back.”

Byleth nodded. “Is there a reason you haven’t lowered your weapon, Claude?”

“It’s been five long years. I have to make sure you’re still on my side. Where have you been, Teach?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “You don’t really expect me to believe that you’ve been napping this whole time, do you?”

“I was. I was asleep for five years.” Byleth said.

“Joking at a time like this...” Claude laughed. “That’s a good one though! Except that’s not your lying face or your sarcastic face. I guess I’ve got no choice but to believe you.” He shrugged and lowered his bow, returning the arrow to his quiver. “You’re not exactly normal to begin with, so it’s not a huge stretch to imagine you sleeping for that long.” Byleth relaxed and sheathed her sword. “Aaand this is where you say, “just kidding” right? If this is a rib, now’s the time to fess up.”

She crossed her arms. “It’s the truth.”

“You must be insane.” He laughed. “And yet...fine. I believe you. I’ll...try to believe you.”

“I guess that’s better than shooting me.” She gestured to his bow. “Pretty bow.”

“Like it? Who would've thought little old me would someday have his very own hero’s relic.” Claude lowered himself to sit on the ground and Byleth followed suit. “So...let's say you _have_ been sleeping for five years...you know for the sake of argument...That means you don’t know anything about what happened after you fell off that cliff, right?”

“Not nothing...but the man who fished me out of the river wasn’t exactly a fount of information.” She looked at him expectantly. 

He sighed. “I guess it’s on me to catch you up.” He paused. “Let’s see...so Garreg Mach was crushed by the Empire and never restored. The monastery is in ruins, and the town is in pretty bad shape too. Can you guess why?”

Byleth thought about it. There was only one reason why Garreg Mach would fall and remain that way. “I know this one. The man who found me said Rhea was missing. She’s probably sleeping somewhere too.”

“Huh. It would seem that’s one possible explanation, since you insist that’s what you’ve been up to. All we know for sure is that Rhea vanished during that battle five years ago. Felix said the army’s mages captured her though. So, we think she might be in the Empire somewhere, being held prisoner. That’s where we thought you were too. The Knights of Seiros have been searching all over for the two of you.”

“Felix said that?” Byleth’s eyes widened. “Is he still okay? What about Dimitri? Leonie, the others?”

Claude’s face fell a bit. “Um, Felix is fine. He’s in Varley right now if you can believe it. He was trying to get to Enbarr to search for you, but he got a little sidetracked. Well he got attacked actually…" 

Byleth sat up. "Attacked?!"

Claude nodded. "But he's fine now. He stayed with Bernie while he was getting better. I think they're traveling to the reunion together too, with Ferdinand and Caspar …” Claude sighed, hesitated. "Uh...Leonie! She's doing great; last time I heard from her and Raph, they were definitely going to try to get down here for the reunion too.” He grinned. “That’s actually why I’m here. I’m supposed to go to Gaspard and meet up with Ashe and a few others and we were all going to travel to Garreg Mach together. It may not be everyone, but I know a few people will definitely be there. And they’ll all be thrilled to see you.” 

"And Dimitri? Have you talked to him at all? Is he coming?" Byleth asked.

“Dimitri…” Claude sighed. “I haven’t heard from him since...well, for a long time. I honestly don't know where he is, Teach." Byleth got the distinct impression that there was more he wasn't telling her.

"He's not in Fhirdiad?" She asked, confused.

Claude shook his head sadly. "I can tell you for sure, Fhirdiad is the one place he isn't. The Kingdom...Teach, Fearghus also fell. They are a Dukedom of the Empire now." Byleth gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Claude grimaced. "Yeah, that's the thing, nobody has seen Dimitri since that happened." Byleth’s stomach dropped and she hoped she wouldn’t throw up again. "But...if you believe Felix, and part of me thinks we should, since he was right about you still being alive; if you believe Felix, then Dimitri’s still out there somewhere. Maybe even closer than we think.” He pointed at her. "Stranger things have happened."

“That’s a really weird way to put it, Claude.” Byleth shoved him in the shoulder. "What aren't you telling me."

"Nothing…nothing that I should be the one to tell you about. I wasn't there. I'd probably screw it all up!" He snapped his fingers. "You can ask Felix when we see him...or, you know...anyone who isn't me." 

"But-"

"No buts!" He pointed at her. “Now, enough small talk. Are you hungry?” He laughed. “From what I heard a few minutes ago your stomach must be pretty empty.” He narrowed his eyes, assessing her. “Or are you sick?” Byleth looked at him questioningly. “I heard you throwing up. That’s what got my attention and led me to you in the first place.”

She shook her head. She was hungry. Ravenous, actually. “Oh...No, I’m not sick. I... just had too many fish last night I think...but I am hungry now.”

“Too many fish?” He clapped her on the shoulder. “This from the woman who matched Flayn fish for fish after the fishing tournament! You ate about a dozen each!”

“Yeah, but...well I’m not sure why it happened...maybe it’s a side effect from all the sleeping.” She shrugged. “Anyway, since you asked, does that mean you have food? Or we can always catch more fish.” Her stomach turned at the thought and she grimaced. 

Claude chuckled. “Nah, it’s not much but I do have some food with me. Not fish.” She grinned. Claude stood and held his hand out to help her up. “Let’s eat up and then get on to Garreg Mach.” They walked through the woods toward Claude’s campsite. It was rather far from hers. She wondered how loud she had been while throwing up. She would need to learn to be quieter. 

“Garreg Mach? I thought you said you were on your way to Gaspard?” Byleth asked as they walked. 

“Just a quick detour.” Claude said. “Word is a whole bunch of Imperial troops showed up at Garreg Mach and got themselves pretty dead. There’s talk of a one-eyed monster that took them out.” He stopped walking and looked at Byleth strangely. “It’s...well...let’s just say it’s a rumor I’m interested in investigating.” She nodded and they started walking again. 

“It’s a two day’s walk from here to Garreg Mach, and a day’s walk from here to Gaspard. You’re going to waste a lot of time travelling between the two.”

“I’m not planning on walking.” Claude shrugged, as they walked up to his tent. “See, this bow on my back isn’t the only shiny new toy I’ve gotten since we last saw each other.” He whistled three high notes in succession and Byleth was stunned a moment later when she saw a pure white wyvern come down from the sky and land a few feet in front of them, screeching in greeting and lowering her head to Claude, who patted her snout. “Meet Omara!” He made cooing noises at her. “Isn’t she pretty?” 

“Claude…” Byleth gasped. She had never seen a pure white wyvern before. “She’s beautiful.” Byleth reached out to pet her and was pleased when Omara sniffed her hand and rubbed against it. Byleth's eyes watered. "Aww...She's like a big cat!" 

Claude let Omara fly off again and he and Byleth sat and shared his stash of bread, cheese, fruit, and dried meat. He opened a wineskin and offered it to her.

"Oh, no thanks. Do you have water?" He eyed her curiously. She realized turning down a drink was out of character for her. "You know...with the throwing up earlier, probably shouldn't risk it."

He nodded and handed her a canteen with water. "So, Teach...when did you say you woke up?"

"I didn't say… but it was yesterday." She said through a mouthful of cheese. "The man who found me said he fished me out of the river in the morning and I woke up a few hours later."

"This river-fishing man...was he cute?" Claude asked, wiggling his eyebrows. "Huh? You can tell me."

Byleth laughed so hard she almost spit her food out. "No! He was old... and grizzled. Not my type at all. Kind of reminded me of my dad actually."

"Yeah, everyone knows your type... it’s a very specific type after all - royal pretty boy, blond-haired, blue-eyed…" Claude pursed his lips. "We should get going."

"We?"

"You're coming with me, right? I'm guessing you'd rather not walk all the way to the monastery." Claude smirked.

She stood up. "I definitely don't want to walk." She helped Claude pack up his campsite and climbed onto Omara's saddle behind Claude. They took to the sky. Byleth felt the air blow in her face, heard the wind in her ears, and screamed. She couldn’t stop screaming. "Let me down! Let me down! I want to walk!" She grabbed on to Claude’s cloak for dear life and buried her face in his shoulder.

"You ok, Teach?" He turned his head to look at her. "Since when are you afraid of flying?"

Tears streamed down her face. She gasped for air. "Since...I fell...off a cliff!" She yelled.

"I thought you didn't remember anything after you fell?" He shouted back.

'I don't." She whined. "But I definitely remember the falling part! Claude...please. Please...can we land?" 

Claude shook his head. "Sorry, Teach. Can't land here. The reason it takes so long to walk to Garreg Mach is it's all winding roads through the mountains. Those are all too small for my baby here to land safely." He rubbed Omara on the neck. “All you have to do is hang on tight for a bit." Byleth groaned. "I can have us there in an hour and a half tops. Just...I don't know...breathe. Close your eyes and think of something happy, and we'll be there in no time." 

It was the longest two hours of her life. When they finally touched down just outside the outer wall, Claude helped her down from the saddle and she immediately turned around and threw up. He awkwardly patted her on the back. 

"I'm ok.” She waved him away. “I just...never, ever want to fly again." 

"Understood." Claude stepped closer and put his hand on her shoulder. "Listen, Teach...I'm not sure what we're going to find in there, but whatever we find, we face it together. We present a united front."

She nodded. "Of course." They walked toward the entrance, leaving Omara with an order to stay put.

“Halt!” A voice came from just ahead. “Who’s there?!”

Claude and Byleth walked through the entrance and a figure stepped out from behind the wall. Edelgard. Like Claude, she had not changed much in the last five years. She was still slightly shorter than Byleth, and she still had the same discerning expression. 

“It can’t be...Professor?!” She exclaimed. She looked to Claude. “And you. I should have known. What are you doing here?”

“We’re here for the reunion.” Claude answered. 

“You’re early.” Edelgard smirked.

“I missed you.” Claude winked and quickly grabbed an arrow from his quiver and had it notched and pointed it at Edelgard a second later. At the same time, both Edelgard and Byleth drew their swords. 

“By my count, you’ve missed me repeatedly.” Edelgard said, gesturing to Claude’s bow with a nod of her head. “I doubt a shiny new bow will help you.”

“Oh, but I’ve been practicing and everything.” Claude jeered. “Why are you here, princess? I don’t suppose _you_ were looking forward to a friendly reunion with your former classmates?”

“I’m here to find out what happened to my troops. I assume you’re the one who killed all my soldiers then?” Edelgard narrowed her eyes at Claude. “The town is crawling with thieves and bandits, but I’m sure they couldn’t have taken out my people so easily.”

“As it turns out, I’m not the one who killed them. I heard about it though. A troop of a hundred Imperial soldiers slaughtered?” Claude shook his head. “Good news like that travels fast. I came to see who might be hiding out here that I might be able to get on my side.” He smiled. “You know…the enemy of my enemy and all that.”

Edelgard turned her head to look at Byleth. “So, it must have been you. Everyone thought you were dead but.... you were alive...what have you been doing all this time other than killing my men?” Edelgard asked. 

“I didn’t kill your men.” Byleth sighed. “I’ve been... sleeping.... for the last five years.”

Edelgard huffed and rolled her eyes. “Joking at a time like this…” 

“That’s what I said.” Claude grinned and raised an eyebrow at Byleth. “I told you that’s a crazy story. You need a better one.”

“Claude, you’re not helping here.” Byleth looked at him sternly.

“Well, I’m not sure I believe you yet.” He chuckled.

Byleth sighed. “Way to present a united front.” 

“So... you’re not allies?” Edelgard’s eyes widened and she lowered her sword a fraction of an inch. She turned to Byleth. “I don’t suppose you would...will you return to the Empire with me, my teacher?”

“That’s an interesting way to take someone prisoner.” Claude laughed.

“Not as a prisoner, as an ally.” Edelgard said. “We could accomplish so much more meaningful change with you on our side. Together we can defeat the false goddess. We will save the world from those creatures like Rhea and Seteth and give humanity its freedom back!”

“I think you know I can’t do that, Edelgard.” Byleth shook her head. “Sothis is not a false goddess and the creatures you want to destroy are my family! My place is here.”

“Here?” She laughed bitterly. “There’s nothing here. The church is gone, as is the Kingdom that once supported it, and its King.” Byleth was momentarily stunned. What did she mean? The King was gone? Edelgard pointed at Claude with the tip of her sword. “Meanwhile, your friend here - his leadership has thrown the Alliance into chaos. He’s maintaining neutrality in their internal conflict.”

“There’s nothing neutral about me, princess. Our conflict is only happening because of your war and I know where I stand on that.” Claude pulled his bow sting even more taught. “It isn’t with you.” 

“My teacher, are you sure about this?” Edelgard asked. 

Byleth nodded. “Absolutely.”

“As expected. I knew your answer before I had even asked the question.” Edelgard said. “That means we are enemies now...you and I.”

“Now I feel left out. What about us, princess?” Claude smirked. “Are we still enemies?”

“As always Claude, you continue to be a thorn in my side. Lorenz is right about you.” She turned back to Byleth and tightened her grip on her sword. “My teacher, the time for discussion has come to an end!” She rushed at Byleth, who blocked her strike with an upward swing of her sword. They pushed against each other’s blades. Claude took a few steps back to get a better shot. “Even though our blades may cross as they do now…” She spun and slashed at Byleth, who blocked again and again. “...there’s no denying that our chosen paths never will.” Byleth and Edelgard turned around each other - fighting and dodging quickly. Someone had taught Edelgard well in the last five years.

“Teach...I can’t get a clear shot, move out of the way!” Claude’s voice called from behind her. Byleth pushed her sword against Edelgard’s and used the momentum to thrust herself back, tucking into a roll and jumping to her feet. Edelgard quickly sheathed her sword and raised her hands, looking down Claude’s arrow, just like Byleth had done a few short hours ago.

“Goodbye, my teacher...Claude...When next we meet one of us will breathe their last.” Edelgard lowered her hands.

“Why wait?” Claude loosed his arrow, but it sailed through the spot where Edelgard had stood, as she disappeared in a flash of light. “Well, that could’ve gone better.”

“It could’ve gone worse.” Byleth said, sheathing her sword. 

“Too true.” He ran his hand through his hair, thinking. “Edelgard mentioned thieves in the town...I think they were most likely the ones who killed those soldiers, no matter what she said. That’s unfortunate. I was hoping it was...well I wasn’t hoping for thieves, that’s for sure.” He turned back and looked at Omara, then at Byleth. “So, I know you said you never wanted to fly again but, can I convince you to hop on for ten more minutes to get us up to the monastery? I’m not sure I want to deal with a nest of thieves right now.” Byleth looked skeptical. “Five minutes. I won’t even take you all the way to the wyvern pens. I’ll drop you off at the Marketplace and find you after I get Omara situated.”

Byleth agreed and they set off. She managed not to throw up upon landing, but it was difficult to maintain. Claude flew off toward the wyvern pens and Byleth walked through the marketplace and up the stairs to the entrance hall. As empty as the monastery had seemed in the days before the battle, it was even worse now. There was nobody anywhere. The hall was in disarray. There were piles of discarded items everywhere. She stepped through to the reception hall and found it in much the same state. It was like a tomb. She pushed through the doors leading to the bridge and the smell hit her before she saw the first body. A soldier in Imperial colors with his head at an odd angle. He was covered in flies. It was nothing she hadn’t seen before, but the smell hit her in an entirely new way. She retched and covered her mouth, happy that Claude was not there to see her. She’d already thrown up around him twice and denied alcohol. With as naturally suspicious as Claude was, she might as well just come out and tell him she was pregnant.

She started to walk across the bridge, where she encountered dozens more dead Imperial troops. Not just dead, but mutilated. Most did not have blood stains on them. They were not killed by any lance or a sword. She saw snapped necks, broken bones, helmets smashed in. As she reached the cathedral the bodies were piled up taller, the damage to the bodies more severe. She traced the trail of bodies with her eyes and the path led to the goddess tower. She swallowed. Her breaths came faster. There was only one person she could think of who could smash a person’s head in a helmet with his bare hands who also had a reason to kill Imperial soldiers. 

“Dimitri…” She whispered his name and began to move toward the goddess tower.  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Claude really suspicious or is Byleth just projecting? Who will be the first person to find out/figure it out? Comment with your guesses! Or really with any other comments because, I looooove comments!


	16. Beautiful Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth continues her reunion tour and finds Dimitri in the goddess tower. Dimitri convinces Byleth and Claude to go rat hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reunited and it feels...not great, actually lol.
> 
> So, today is November 1st! I almost put this fic on hiatus to focus on my NaNoWriMo project, but then I figured nah! I am honestly having so much more fun writing this than I have writing anything I have written in years. As a result I made this my NaNoWriMo project and maybe updates will be much faster. This one is!
> 
> Title from the song "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson, which was originally going to be the name of this whole fic and really encapsulates how my Byleth feels about Dimitri. 
> 
> Enjoy! Bon Appetit!

_He's magic and myth_  
_As strong as what I believe_  
_A tragedy with more damage than a soul should see_

Byleth climbed the stairs of the goddess tower slowly. More corpses littered the steps, each more mangled than the last. She had a fear in the back of her mind, looking at the bodies, that it may not be Dimitri she would find at the top of the stairs, and if it wasn’t him, she wasn’t sure she had enough energy to face whatever it was. It was dawning on her that she should've waited for Claude before she went exploring. She hadn’t eaten very much since Sothis woke her. What little she had eaten; she had thrown up. She felt weak. If there was a fight awaiting her at the top of the stairs, she was in trouble. She had struggled against Edelgard earlier, and while some of that could be attributed to poor grip because of the splinter she still had in her hand, she had to admit that she did not feel strong enough to fight anyone.

On the other hand, if it was Dimitri she found, she worried it would not be a pleasant reunion. She and Claude had been having easy conversation, but he didn't believe that she'd been asleep. Edelgard had tried to recruit her, then kill her. She'd also thought Byleth was joking or lying about where she'd been. From the little she'd picked up from what Claude and Edelgard had said, Byleth was certain that Dimitri had a much rougher five years than either of them had. The thought that he had suffered, and she hadn’t been there to comfort him brought tears to her eyes, especially when her reason for not being there was so unbelievable.

The steps opened to the main chamber of the tower and although the space was mostly dark, enough sunlight shone in through the windows to illuminate various spots and cast others in shadow. She could see a figure sitting on the floor against the far wall. The figure was hidden in shadow, except for a small sliver of light that cut across him. It was a man; she could tell that much from the shape. She had been quiet as she walked up the stairs and she was holding her breath. So far, it did not seem as though he knew she was there. Judging by the sizable bulk of the man, she decided that was a good thing. 

She took half a step closer as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She could see that he was slumped over. Likely injured, if his posture was any indication. Although he was not sitting upright, he was holding a lance, and the lance was steady, and large. She stood, staring at him in silence for a moment before making her way around the tower to try to see him from a different angle, if not a closer one. As she circled the room, the light seemed to shift and brightened her view. She could see him more clearly. His head was bowed forward, and his long hair covered most of his face. She thought of the dozens, if not hundreds, of times she had reached out to Dimitri and pushed his errant hair out of his face, during training, during class, any and every time they were alone. It was longer, and messier, but she knew the shade and the texture and the way it fell stubbornly forward with the slightest turn of his head. Her fingers itched to touch it. It was him. Her Dimitri. 

She walked carefully, slowly towards him. He tensed and she knew that he heard her footsteps. His head moved a fraction, and she could see one of his eyes peeking at her through the strands of hair in his face. The same beautiful shade of blue ringed by a familiar dark circle underneath, although it was worse than she’d ever seen. He looked tired. She wondered when he'd last slept. She took another step forward. His eye widened and he raised his head completely. His hair fell away from his face and she understood the reason why she could only see one eye through his hair. He was wearing an eyepatch over his right eye. Claude had said he'd heard a rumor about a “one-eyed monster” being behind the attack on the Imperial troops. Suddenly, parts of their conversation made more sense. Claude had been coming to Garreg Mach specifically to search for Dimitri, but he hadn't wanted her to know that. She wondered why. It didn’t matter. She'd found him. She took the last few steps needed to stand directly in front of him. 

“Dimitri?” She held out her hand and had to stop herself from pushing his hair back. He looked up at her, at her outstretched hand and turned his head away, she swallowed the lump in her throat. Her tears filled her eyes more completely. He had never turned away from her before. 

“I should have known…” He spoke. His voice was hoarse. Graveled. He sounded so different, older, harder, but it was still his voice. The tone of it shot threw her and goosebumps formed on her arms. “I should have known...that one day...you would be haunting me as well.” His head dropped back down. “You…” His eye closed and he exhaled. “What must I do to be rid of you?” His voice was almost a whisper.

“Rid of me?” She asked in surprise.

He looked up at her. “The others, they all have demands. There must be something you want. If it is vengeance upon those responsible for your death that you seek, I can get it for you. I... I will avenge you. I will kill that woman; I swear it! Anything so you will not look upon me with scorn in your eyes.” He closed his eye and a single tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. "I am used to the scorn I get from the others, but I could not bear for you to look at me that way. Tell me...what do you need, what must I do to release you to a peaceful rest?"

She bent to her knees in front of him so she could look him in the face more easily. She tried to keep from letting her tears fall. “What are you talking about?” She couldn't stop herself and she reached to run her fingers through his hair and push it back. He flinched at her touch and looked at her; his mouth dropped open in a gasp. “I know it will be hard for you to believe, but I’m not dead. I’m not a ghost, not haunting you. I'm here. Everything will be ok. We’ll get through this together.”

“You...It cannot be! You are alive?!” He almost looked happy for a moment before his features turned dark again. He moved to stand, but she had been correct in her observation earlier. He was injured. He hmphed and looked at her again, shaking his head as he used his lance as leverage to help him stand. “If that is the case...that can only mean you are here as an Imperial spy. Did you come here to kill me?”

“Dimitri…”

“Answer the question.” He growled as he succeeded in making it to his feet. Still on her knees, she looked up at him, and up, and up. Where Claude and Edelgard had not grown any taller since she had last seen them, Dimitri had obviously grown considerably. "Did she send you here to kill me?"

“Of course not.” She answered. He grunted at her and turned away from her heading toward the stairs. He was favoring his left side. From the way he walked she figured he had an injury to his right abdominal area. It could be an injury to his liver, kidney, intestines, or appendix. He needed help. She scrambled to her feet and followed him. “Wait! You’re injured.”

“Am I?” 

"Yes." She reached for his arm to try to stop him and he flinched again.

"Do not touch me!" He spun to face her and grimaced in pain, crouching slightly and holding his side. “I do not require your healing or your help. I have gotten by without both for years while you have been goddess knows where!” He paused and tried to catch his breath; they stared at each other. She said nothing. She knew what he wanted to ask, but she would wait for him to say it. He sighed heavily. “Bel- Byleth...if you have been alive all this time, where have you been? Why did you not...” He stopped and shook his head. He was crying, her heart broke. 

“I’ll tell you everything…absolutely everything.” She held up her hands. “If you just let me heal you.” The way he was standing and clutching his ribs, she believed it could be an injury to his liver or spleen. He could be bleeding out and not have much time left. Her vision blurred; her tears finally broke free. “Please.” 

He scowled at her, seething. “Do you not think you owe me an explanation? I... after all that…” He shook his head. “I saw you fall! I thought you were dead! I relived it every day. For five years! Yet you put conditions on you telling me what happened to you?” He groaned and hunched over even more. “How dare you!”

She sniffed, her tears flowing freely. “It isn’t a condition of me telling you. I'll tell you where I've been. It’s just...a long story and... you’re hurt. It looks like you’re hurt badly. You may not even make it down the stairs!” She shook her head. “Please just let me heal you first and then we can talk. Please.” 

He winced. “Do what you will.” He closed his eye and allowed her to approach. 

She stepped up to his right side and moved his cloak out of the way to look more closely at his side. “Can you stand up straight?” He blanched, but stood up completely, his face going paler. She took a deep breath, wiped her tears, and bent to look closer. She didn’t have to bend far. With him no longer crouching and her standing next to him, she noticed that the top of her head just barely reached his shoulder if she stood completely straight. He was tall before; he towered over her now. It both frightened and excited her. She touched his side gently and he drew in a breath and grunted, reminding her of the sounds he’d made in her ear in the knight’s hall. She exhaled a trembling breath and shivered; it had nothing to do with the winter chill in the air. 

Sothis admonished her in her head. “ _He is injured and upset and all you want to do is get his clothes off!”_

“There you are.” She whispered. She had wondered when her friend would wake up and join her. “I don’t want to take his clothes off.” 

“What?!” Dimitri asked. Byleth’s head snapped up and she looked to see him staring at her. She had not realized she had spoken out loud. 

She blinked, trying to think quickly. “Um, I found the injury, I think. I... don’t want to take your clothes off, but I would be able to see this better if you took your armor off.” She said, faintly touching the sleek black armor.

Sothis laughed. “ _Nice cover up.”_

“Forget it.” Dimitri scoffed. 

She nodded. It was fine. She had not really needed him to remove it. When she touched him, her palm felt the wetness of his blood and she saw it when she pulled her hand away. She didn’t know exactly where the problem was, or how bad, so it was hard to visualize what might be happening internally. She figured she would just picture filling him up with healing energy and hope it fixed whatever the problem might be. At least enough to get him stable until she could get him to a real healer. She hoped Mercedes was going to be among those returning for the reunion. She took a deep breath, gently placed both hands on his right side, closed her eyes and let the magic seep from her palms. She pictured his abdomen as a pitcher that she was filling up with water. Slowly his breathing became less labored as the pitcher filled. When she was finished, there was water leaking out of the pitcher in the image in her mind. She pressed her hands onto him more firmly. He inhaled and held it. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. The color had almost returned to his face. “Breathe normally.” She smiled when she felt him exhale against her hands. She closed her eyes and visualized the crack in the pitcher being sealed. She sealed it and polished it until the leaking stopped. She opened her eyes and wiped the blood off her hands on her cloak. She pressed them against him again and was pleased to see that they were clean when she pulled them back. The bleeding had stopped. She looked back up at him again. He had not stopped staring at her the entire time she had been working. She had been able to feel his gaze. “That should hold you for now.” 

“Well?” He was looking at her expectantly. Right. She had agreed to tell him everything after healing him. 

“Can we talk somewhere else? The smell up here is starting to get to me a little." She looked at her hands, which still had traces of his blood on them. "And I wouldn't mind washing my hands."

“You are avoiding the conversation.” He scoffed and shook his head. “It figures.”

“I’m not.” She placed her hand on his arm, pleased when he didn’t pull away. “If you’d like I can talk as we walk, but I would like to get out of the tower.”

“My handiwork displeases you.” He snatched his arm out of her grasp and started down the stairs. 

“Not so much the handiwork, as the scent of the aftermath.” She held her breath and looked around at the bodies as they descended the stairs and walked to and across the bridge. Once they were in the reception hall, she exhaled loudly. “I’m actually rather impressed you were able to take them all out on your own. How did you do that?”

He looked at her stonily as they walked. “Stop changing the subject. Where have you been?” He frowned. “Felix thought you had been captured by the empire and were being held prisoner. Was that the case?”

“No.”

“Did you go with them willingly, then?” He huffed out a bitter laugh he stomped through the entrance hall with her at his heels. It would be easier to tell him if he would stop walking, or slow down. His strides were almost twice as long as hers. It didn’t help that her usually trusty boots were starting to hurt her feet. Nonetheless, she ran a bit to catch up with him.

“I wasn’t in the Empire. Or anywhere else in Fodlan.” She said. They had made it outside with the marketplace ahead of them. He stopped long enough for her to catch up with him then turned to the right toward the pond. “I also wasn’t in Brigid, or Almyra, or anywhere else, before you ask.” 

“That makes no sense. How could you not be anywhere!” His voice had turned harsh again.

“I’ll tell you if you just stop and listen to me. I don’t want to chase you all over the monastery!” He stopped and stared at her. She nodded. She sat at the edge of the pond near the pier and plunged her hands into the water, scrubbing to get the blood off. “Will you sit with me?” He frowned but sat next to her. She pulled her boots off, then dropped her feet into the pond, leggings and all. She looked up at him. 

“So? Are you going to tell me where you have been, or come up with another excuse?” He asked.

" _Go ahead, Byleth. I can tell you're nervous, but you can do this. I am here with you."_ Sothis said. Byleth nodded.

“Dimitri...I...do you remember when Solon locked me in the Zaharas spell, when I merged with the goddess? You said I disappeared, and I was gone for a few minutes, then I came back?” She asked. He nodded, hesitantly. “Well, something similar happened.”

“No.” He crossed his arms and shook his head. “I saw the spell that hit you. It was a miasma spell, and it did not trap you, it pushed you. I saw you fall!”

“You’re right. I did fall. It wasn’t the spell that trapped me, it was Sothis.” Sothis hmphed in her head. Byleth sighed. “Ok, she didn’t trap me, she helped me...When I fell...Sothis told me I broke every bone in my body. I should have died." He looked at her with his eye wide. "But she appeared and she...took me somewhere. I'm not sure what or where it is exactly, all I know is it's a place where time doesn’t pass. While I was there, I slept until I was healed enough for her to wake me. I had no idea how much time had passed when I woke up. For me...one second, I was falling, and I was thinking about you…” His arms dropped and his face seemed to soften. “And the next I had a short conversation with Sothis and woke up. Except when I woke up it was five years later.”

“That can’t be.” Dimitri said.

“I know, but it is.” Byleth looked down. “For me, the battle, the fall, that all happened yesterday.” He was quiet. She wasn’t sure if he believed her. 

_"Give him time to process it. It is a lot to take in right away."_

She decided to ask him a question she’d been wondering about ever since her conversation with Claude that morning. “What have you been doing for the last five years?"

“I have been dead, more or less.” He looked across the pond, avoiding her gaze.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it is true. Everyone has been led to believe that I am dead. I have simply let them believe it.” He closed his eye. “I have spent the last five years with no other company other than the voices of the dead. I might as well be among them.” 

“Dimitri...” She put her hand on his arm.

“This is not important. There are more serious matters at hand.” She blinked at him. “Do you not smell them? Filthy rats. Everywhere...And traces of those who were here long ago. And thieves crawling from the woodwork, attracted by the promise of treasure. Since the monastery fell, order in the area fell right along with it." He pointed toward the wall and her hand fell from his arm. "You must have seen the state of the town on your way here. Vile thieves run rampant. They pillage and loot to their heart’s content. I must kill them. Every last one. It is time to hunt down their nest.” Byleth nodded.

“What do you plan to do?” She asked as she pulled her feet from the water and sat cross-legged so she could reach and rub her sore and swollen feet. He looked at her suspiciously.

“I told you, I will kill them all.”

“That's hardly a plan. You need a strategy; you can’t just rush in there and hope for the best. I taught you better than that." She shook her head. “Besides, even thieves are just trying to survive. You don’t have to kill them to stop them. We can just scare them off and get them to leave.”

“It does not matter what their reasons are.” He barked. “Someone must put a stop to this cycle of the strong trampling the weak. Or do you condone their actions?”

“I don’t condone their actions but being a thief during a war does not deserve a death sentence. Good people sometimes have to do bad things to survive in hard times. Remember, Ashe was a thief once so he could feed his siblings before they were adopted by Lonato. What he did may not have been right, but it was justified.”

“These rats have nothing in common with Ashe. They are not trying to survive; they are trying to profit from the pain of others and the town has suffered even more for it! Do you believe that the pillaging and slaughtering those rats live for is justified?!”

“No, but…”

“What they have done is reprehensible and they must be put down! I intend to give them a taste of the pain they inflicted on others. Even if it means becoming a rat myself. I swore to at least do that much…. I will not let them down.”

Byleth sighed. If she didn’t help him, he was liable to run into town on his own and try to take them all out by himself. Even though she had healed his injury as best she could, he wasn’t healed completely. He would get himself killed. “How many thieves are there? Can the three of us hope to prevail?”

“It does not matter how many of them there are. All that matters is killing those who deserve to die." He paused and looked at her, narrowing his eyes. “Three of us? Who else would be fighting with us?”

“I met Claude on my way here. Did I not mention that? He was heading to the wyvern pens when he dropped me off, so he must be around here someplace.” She answered.

Dimitri’s jaw twitched and he looked down at his hands. “You are with Claude now? You are together?” He asked softly. 

She looked over at him and tried to figure out his tone. Was he jealous? “I’m not _with_ Claude. We just got here at the same time. I was on my way here…alone...and I met up with him on the way. It was just this morning. We definitely aren't together.”

He shrugged. “I do not care what you do or with whom, as long as I have your blade to help me slay those rats.”

“Then why did you ask?” She was pushing her luck, she knew. But she couldn’t help herself. She had a strange energy she couldn’t quite name. There were hints that he still had feelings for her, and she needed to know if there was a chance he still loved her.

“I do not know why I asked. What you do is your business, not mine anymore; if it ever was.” He sounded so bitter. She wanted to slap him, or kiss him, maybe both. She dropped her gaze to his lips. Definitely both.

Sothis laughed sarcastically. _“Oh, Byleth. Really?”_

“What if I still want it to be your business?” She asked, before she could stop herself. They stared at each other. He opened his mouth to speak.

“Hey, Teach! There you are!” Claude’s voice rang out from up above them. Byleth cursed his timing and turned to see him standing on the top of the stairs to the dining hall. “Who is that with you? Is that…hey!” His eyes widened and he jolted down the stairs over to where she and Dimitri sat. “Your Princeliness! Is that you?”

“Claude…” Dimitri crossed his arms and glared at him. He didn’t seem to notice. 

“I’m so happy to see you alive!” He slapped Dimitri in the arm, and he looked murderous. Claude took a step away from Dimitri but kept his tone light. “I was scared to believe the rumor, but it looks like Felix was right again!” Claude turned to Byleth. “Remind me never to doubt Fraldarius again.” Byleth nodded. “Come on you two. I've been poking around. There are still some stores in the kitchens that the Imperials must have left behind. It’s not going to be fancy, but we can scrape something together for dinner.” Claude held his hand out to Byleth to help her to her feet. As she stood Claude laughed. “No fish, Teach. I promise.” She grinned, picked up her boots and followed Claude to the dining hall with Dimitri behind her.

“Since when do you not eat fish?” Dimirti asked from behind them, as if forgetting that he was supposed to be mad at her. 

“I do.” Byleth said, not wanting to get into the reason why Claude thought she couldn’t.

“Don’t worry, Your Princeliness. Just an inside joke between me and Teach here.” Dimitri grunted and didn’t say a word to either of them as they cooked and started to eat their modest dinner. 

Claude had been right. There was not a large amount of food, but there were sacks of grains and beans, along with salted meats and preserved vegetables. She guessed they would be able to survive for about a month with what they had. They would need to find more food if they planned to stay there, but it was a good start. Unfortunately for Byleth, the Imperial soldiers had found it essential to also bring several kegs of wine and mead. Claude filled Byleth’s cup with wine and she pretended to drink it rather than arouse his suspicions further. She declined a refill saying they should save the bulk of it for the reunion, and luckily Claude agreed. Dimitri was still silent but was eating with them, at least. Byleth tried to fill the silence and keep Dimitri in the conversation by telling Claude about the thieves’ nest and Dimitri’s plan to infiltrate it. 

“Well...we have an influx of people who should be here the day after tomorrow for the reunion. Why not just wait until they get here? It would be easier to flush them out with more people.” Claude said. 

“I do not intend to flush them out. I intend to kill them all.” Dimitri said. “And I will do it with or without your help.” Claude looked at Byleth. She shook her head. She needed to get him to trust her quickly. She didn’t want to argue with his plan, but she didn’t want them to get killed either. 

“Would you be willing to wait until morning at least?” Byleth looked at Dimitri and he narrowed his eyes. “I just want to make sure we’re all well rested for the fight.”

“Have you not had enough rest after sleeping for five years?” Dimitri looked at her with scorn.

“Ooh, good one Your Highness!” Claude laughed. “I take it you aren’t buying that little story either?”

“I have not decided yet.” Dimitri snarled. Byleth’s stomach dropped. He didn’t believe her. 

“Crazy stories aside, she’s right. We should at least be well rested if we are going to be vastly outnumbered.” Claude said. “Not to mention that Edelgard might decide to come back with reinforcements since she knows we’re here.”

“Edelgard?!” Dimitri growled. “She was here? When was she here?” He looked at Byleth. “Why did you not tell me!”

“I haven't had a chance; we’ve been talking about other things.” She knew that was a weak excuse. Honestly, she just didn’t want to tell him. In the week leading up to the invasion he had blown up every time they talked about her. She figured five years of war would only have made it worse. 

“Tell me now! What happened? When was she here?” Dimitri shouted. Byleth flinched.

“She was just inside the outer wall when we landed. Said she came to see what had happened to her troops.” Claude gestured to Dimitri. “I assume you are what happened to her troops. Anyway, she saw us, things got a little less than amicable, she fought with Teach, and I tried to shoot her, but she disappeared.” Claude looked at Byleth. “That about covers it, yeah?”

“She disappeared?” Dimitri growled. “How convenient.”

“Well, we didn’t just let her go, Your Princeliness.” Claude smirked. 

“Stop calling me that. I am not a prince; I am nothing but a walking corpse.” Dimitri was seething, but she’d had enough.

“Why would you say that?!” Byleth threw up her hands in exasperation. 

“Because it is true!” 

“It’s what we all believed, well...except for Felix, really, but it obviously isn’t true. I can see with my own eyes that you are alive.” Claude looked at Dimitri seriously. “Speaking of which, I’ve heard that the jail cells in Fhirdiad are as strong as they come. How did you manage to escape?”

“Jail?!” Byleth cried. “You were in jail? Why?”

Dimitri’s expression darkened even more, and he shook his head. “It does not matter why, or what happened while I was there.” He looked at Claude. “But it was Dedue who got me out.”

“What happened to him?” Claude asked. “Why isn’t he with you then.”

“He is dead. He stayed behind. He died in my place.” Dimitri said. He shook his head and pushed back from the table. “We fight the rats in the morning! Meet at the marketplace gates at first light.” He left the dining hall, the hammering of his footsteps echoing behind him. 

“Yeesh, someone’s cranky.” Claude said. Byleth only nodded. “But if anyone can get through to him, it’s you, Teach.” He raised his cup at her and took a drink.

After they finished eating, Byleth offered to clear their plates so she could dump the contents of her cup without Claude noticing. He walked her to her old room. It had been ransacked but the bed was still there, if off its frame. Claude helped her put the mattress back on the foundation. It was a little dusty, but it would be better than sleeping on the ground, and she was so tired. She bid Claude goodnight and he left to inspect his old room and see if it was suitable for sleeping in. As she shut her door, she thought she saw something move in the shadows across from her room, but there was nothing there. She lay down and was asleep the moment her head hit her pillow.

***

Dimitri was ready. They had managed to make him wait, but today those rats would breathe their last. They walked through the town, weapons drawn, looking for traces of the thieves. Byleth took the lead despite his protests. She was the smallest and could more easily hide in corners and peek around walls to make sure the coast was clear. He watched her dart around in awe. She moved with the grace of a cat. As they waited for her signal to move ahead, next to him, Claude was getting on his last nerve. She had said they were not together, but then he had helped her to stand, made her laugh with _inside jokes,_ he walked her to her room last night and went inside it. He was only in there for a few minutes, but Dimitri knew what could happen in a few minutes with men like Claude. He wanted to run him through with his lance.

 _“He doesn’t have your stamina. Of course, he only needed a few minutes. They were probably just holding back in front of you. You’ll probably be expected to attend their wedding.”_ Glenn laughed at him. 

Dimitri’s grip tightened around his weapon and he felt the silver give a little. He needed to calm down. It would be more difficult to kill vermin with a broken weapon. Byleth gave the signal and they both moved forward to join her. 

“It smells of blood and sewage. Seems we have found their nest.” Dimitri growled at Byleth and Claude. “Shall we go rat hunting?” Without waiting for either of them to answer he rushed ahead. “Do not let a single vermin escape!”

The thieves had made their nest in the town square and the surrounding buildings. Between the three of them, they were able to pick off a few, but it was not long before they were outnumbered.

“We need to retreat. It’s only late morning and we are already outmanned. Imagine once they all wake up? They’ll surround us and we won’t stand a chance. We have to fall back.” Byleth said as they crouched behind a low wall. Arrows were flying overhead and occasionally Claude would stand and fire one back. 

“No!” Dimitri shook his head. They had to keep going. “We storm the square and take out the leader.”

“That’s a disastrously bad plan.” Claude muttered.

“We retreat.” She looked at Dimitri. She spoke with the authority of a general. He did not want to obey her, but something in him would not let him oppose a direct order from her. There was a part of his brain that still saw her as his professor. “We tried it your way. It didn’t work. Let’s fall back and regroup.” He nodded reluctantly. They followed her out of the town center, but she was not headed back to the monastery. She was leading them to the other side of the village. 

“Where are we going, Teach?” Claude whispered loudly. 

“See that taller building over there?” Byleth pointed to a three-story building not far away. “Dorothea took me to a shop there to buy my dress for the ball. The owner and her family used to live on the upper floors, and she had us up for tea. Judging by the look of things around here, I’m guessing they aren’t in business or at home. We can hide out there.” She pointed to the wall. “Tomorrow is reunion day and the others will be coming from that direction. We’ll be able to see them from the higher windows and intercept them.” She looked at him. “With reinforcements, we can take them out, Dimitri.”

They made their way into the shop, which had been heavily damaged. It was obvious nobody had been there in a while. “Looks like they didn’t take most of the inventory.” Claude grabbed a red dress from the floor. “Want a new dress, Teach?” 

“Nah, I’m partial to blue, but thanks anyway.” She looked down at herself. “Although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to change my clothes.” She laughed and walked toward the back of the store. “Come on, the stairs to the upper floors are back here.”

They made to the third floor. She was right, they could see over the village wall from here as well as into the town square. He sat on a couch by one of the windows facing the town square. The hours passed. He was getting antsy.

"I'm so bored!" Claude whined from where he sat looking out the window towards the wall and forest beyond. "Hey, Teach - why don't you go grab some stuff from downstairs and put on a fashion show for us before I leave."

She was sitting against the closed apartment door with her eyes closed. "Why don't you?" She laughed. "I think I remember Hilda once telling me that you had really nice legs."

Claude nodded. "Oh, I do. Not as nice as yours though." Dimitri scowled as they both laughed.

"Whatever, Claude." She said, smiling. He hated that Claude had the ability to make her smile. 

“I am going down there. I am sick of waiting.” Dimitri stood up.

“You aren’t going anywhere. The only person leaving is Claude so he can go back to the monastery, hop on a wyvern, and fly down the mountain to see if he can get some of our reinforcements here faster. You sit down.” Byleth crossed her arms and scooted back against the door further. “If you want to leave, you’ll have to kill me.”

“You are no longer my professor; I do not have to heed your orders anymore. Stay or come with me, I do not care. I am moving ahead.”

“You can’t go; it’s suicide.” Claude said simply, finally looking away from his window.

“So be it!” Dimitri roared, looking away from them both and staring out the window. He could see the glow of the fire in the town square and hear voices. A lot of voices. He’d been able to beat the Imperial troops alone largely because he had the advantage of position. They essentially lined up along the stairs in the tower for him to kill one by one. It wasn’t even difficult. Once they noticed they were outmatched, they turned and ran, and he caught up with and dispatched the rest. The last one made it across the bridge and managed to slip his sword through the plates in his armor, but Dimitri got him in the end too. He hated to admit Byleth and Claude were right. The thieves had the advantage position-wise. Even if there were less of them than the troops he had fought, in an open space, they could surround and defeat them easily. Still, he did not want to sit and wait for reinforcements. He wanted to act. He narrowed his eyes at Claude. “I am still going.”

“Can you…” Claude looked to Byleth and gestured at Dimitri “...do something about your boy here, because I can’t.” Claude got up from where he was sitting and sat down on the floor in front of the door next to Byleth. Dimitri frowned, but Byleth stood immediately and came to sit on the couch next to him, looking out the window as well. 

“Dimitri…" She spoke quietly, as if not wanting Claude to hear. "I’m not telling you that you _can’t_ go storm the square alone.” He looked at her, surprised. She turned to look at him. She looked like she was going to cry again. He wished she would stop doing that. “But I am _asking_ you not to storm the square alone. You told me that you would never leave me as long as I wanted you by my side, and I do...I want you by my side. Please don’t go.” 

He clenched his jaw, remembering the promises he made to her that night. It was long ago but he remembered it vividly. When he was alone, and on the run, he tormented himself with memories of her and of all his memories he revisited that night most often. It wasn’t even the sex, although he thought about that too. He thought mostly about afterwards, when he held her in his arms, a man in love and unaware that the world he had tried so hard to rebuild was about to come crashing down around him once more. A small part of his heart brightened at the fact that she was saying she wanted him by her side. He shut it down. He would not rebuild his world again, just for it to crumble, as it always did. “I said that a long time ago.”

“It wasn’t a long time ago for me.” 

He looked at her and shook his head. “You still expect me to believe that?’ 

She sighed and looked outside again. "It's the truth whether you believe it or not. And right now, whether you believe me isn't important. I don't know if you care about me at all anymore…" He saw tears fall down her cheeks and cursed himself for making her doubt how he felt about her. "...but if you ever did, please don’t go out there. Stay here with me and wait for reinforcements." 

He wanted desperately to reach out and caress her cheek. To wipe her tears and tell her that, of course, he still loved her, but he couldn't. He was broken and she deserved better, but he could do this for her. The rats would still be there in the morning. "I will stay." She nodded and said nothing more as they both stared out the window.

"So... what’s the verdict? Can I go grab us some food and reinforcements and trust you won't be dead when I get back?" Claude walked over to them. Dimitri rolled his eye.

"You can go Claude." Byleth said. "Just be careful ok…. Oh! Don't take Omara. Take a regular wyvern. In this moonlight she'll glow and attract too much attention. I’d hate for anything to happen to her."

Claude laughed. "I thought you decided you didn't like her after all?"

"No, I decided I hate flying...Omara I love. Leave her here." Byleth demanded.

"Sure thing, Teach. Thanks to His Highness killing all the Imperial soldiers, I have a few extra wyverns to choose from." Claude walked to the door. "You two behave while I'm gone!" Byleth huffed a breathy laugh and waved at him as he walked out. Claude was always making her laugh. All he managed to do was make her cry.

" _He's a better match for her."_ Glenn scoffed. " _She even said herself once that she considered choosing his class over yours."_

“You and Claude seem awfully chummy for two people who have not seen each other in five years and just met up again yesterday morning.” They looked out the window and not at each other. How many times had he said he would do anything to see her again, and now there she was right next to him and he couldn't even look at her.

“Let me just remind you...again...that it has been five years since _you_ _guys_ have seen me, but it has not been five years since I have seen you. Time hasn’t passed for me.” 

“So you say.” He wanted to believe her, but he could not.

" _Of course, you can't believe her!"_ His father yelled. _"She's lying! She left you because she didn't care about you! She never cared about you! We told you even then that she was just a distraction and that's all she is now!"_

“Even if time had passed for me, it wouldn’t matter with Claude." She shrugged. "You know him, he has that easy rapport with everyone, he was even chummy with Edelgard yesterday, and she was trying to kill us.”

Dimitri’s blood boiled at the mention of Edelgard’s name. “Do not mention that woman!” He could not believe she had been there. She had been so close, and she had been alone. He could have taken her head; he could have ended the war. He hated her. He hated Claude, with his easy smiles at Byleth and their inside jokes. He clenched his fists. 

Byleth sighed. She hated that they kept ending up arguing and sniping at each other. She wished they could go back to how they were, or at least to a point where they could have a conversation without him yelling and her crying. “You know I could be chummy with you if you’d stop trying to keep me at arm’s length. I know you’re upset with me-”

“I am not upset.”

“Angry at me, then…”

“I am not angry!” he yelled. 

She raised her eyebrows. “I’m finding that hard to believe.”

He looked back out the window. “Well I find your story hard to believe.”

“Why? You know about me, my past, what I am. I have never lied to you. I’m telling you; Sothis saved me. I remained there with her until she healed me. I had no control over how long I spent there and the moment I woke up I came to find you!” She was frustrated. If she couldn’t convince him of where she’d been and that time hadn’t passed for her, how would she ever convince him that the children she carried were his? To him, the night they spent was five years ago. The way he was acting about Claude he’d probably assume they were his. That he would believe she would ever be with anyone else but him made her feel sick. Either that or the twins were making her sick again. It didn’t matter, she needed to go. She stood up and walked out of the living area and toward the hall where the privy was. She could feel him watching her. “I’ll be right back. Please don’t leave while I’m in there.”

“I already promised I would not leave. You need not worry. I am not the one between the two of us who has broken that particular promise.” He sounded so angry and so hurt that she almost threw up right then and there. 

“I didn’t break any promises or leave on purpose, Dimitri! I almost died!” She screamed at him in a voice she didn’t know she had. “I’m sorry that I didn’t. You’d obviously be much happier if I hadn’t survived!” She sped to the garderobe, slammed the door, fell to her knees, and threw up, trying to make as little noise as possible. The last thing she needed now was for him to hear her and ask questions. 

_“I’m so sorry, little one.”_ Sothis whispered. 

“Sothis, I thought you said this was called _morning_ sickness. Why am I throwing up now?”

“ _That’s just what it’s called. It can happen at any time. I suspect it is worse for you because you are carrying twins instead of just one. That's probably also why it has started so soon.”_ Sothis paused. _“I’m sorry. I wish there I were something I could do to make it better. To make all of this better.”_

She left the privy and went into the washroom. She pumped some water and splashed it on her face. She stared at herself in the looking glass on the wall. She didn't understand why they didn't believe her. She looked exactly the same. All three had all changed in the last five years, their faces had gotten sharper, their hair longer, Dimitri had grown so much taller and both he and Claude had packed on muscle. Meanwhile she looked the same as she had on the day of the battle. Her hair had not grown one inch, her face was exactly the same. She was even wearing the same clothes. No wonder Dimitri had thought she was a ghost at first.

There was a loud pounding on the door. She opened it to see Dimitri standing before her. She looked up at him, confused. 

“Are you alright?” He asked in a panicked voice. “It sounded like you were sick.” 

On one hand she was thrilled that he seemed to care, on the other, she wasn’t quite ready to tell him why she was throwing up yet. “I’m fine.” She tried to squeeze past him, but he reached out and grabbed her left hand. She winced and yanked it away. 

“What happened to your hand?” He stared down at her. “You once told me you have never been sick, but you were just vomiting; I heard you. And there is something wrong with your hand. What is wrong?”

“Nothing. The two aren’t related.” She held up her hand. “I have a splinter in my hand from sparring with Felix. I never got to take it out because the Imperial army was early, and then I almost died. I’ll deal with it as soon as I can find a needle somewhere.” She tried to push past him again, but he was blocking the doorway. 

“Let me see it.” He held out his hand. She sighed and placed her hand in his palm up. He brought it up to his face and looked at it. She remembered sitting in her bed with him as he looked at the same splinter, he’d kissed her palm then. She held her breath. “I believe you.”

She exhaled. “Thank you.” They stood in the washroom doorway looking at each other for a long time, neither speaking. 

“Why are you here?” Dimitri asked. “If you woke up and found out five years had passed, why did you come looking for me?”

She sighed, exasperated. "Dimitri, I love you. Where else would I be?"

"Love." He laughed sardonically. "The man you loved is dead and good riddance." He turned away from her and stared at the floor. "He was a fool. A naïve, lovesick fool who thought he knew what pain was... because he had a few scars, because he saw a few people die and was forced to take a few lives himself." She took a step closer and looked up at him. He didn't move away. He shook his head, looked down at her, and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Do yourself a favor and forget him. Forget me. Leave me alone." 

"No." Byleth took a step closer and looked up at him. She was still so surprised at how much taller than he was before, and despite the eyepatch and his general state of unkempt, he was even more handsome than he had been. She reached up to trace the lines of his face, sharper and covered with a light stubble that was never there before. He flinched but didn't move away. His grip on her shoulders tightened, trying to hold her at a distance, but she would not be moved.

"What are you doing?" He growled. "You do not know me anymore. I can assure you if you did you would not want anything to do with me, much less want to touch me."

"I doubt that. I may not know who you think you have become, but you are still you, and I love you." She stood on her toes, pulled his face toward her, and kissed him. He gasped and she expected him to push her away, but instead he wrapped his arms tightly around her, backed her up against the doorframe, and kissed her deeply. She was so high on her toes that he was practically lifting her off the ground. She moaned into his mouth and he growled and set her down. He released her and swallowed, taking multiple steps back and she gasped to catch her breath.

"No." He shook his head. "Stop...saying you love me. I... the Dimitri you loved...he loved you with all his heart, but I no longer have one. I have nothing left to give you. I am nothing." His eyes filled with tears and she felt hers do the same. "I mourned you every day for five years. I would not survive losing you a second time. Please...just leave me alone." He turned and stalked back out to the living area as the tears began to spill from her eyes. She closed the washroom door and slid down to the floor, hugging her knees.

 _"Perhaps he needs a little more time."_ Sothis suggested. 

Byleth sniffed and wiped her years from her cheeks, then placed her hands on her stomach. Time. "Sothis, how long do I have before my condition becomes obvious?"

_"Condition?! Pregnancy is not a disease! It is a gift."_

Byleth rolled her eyes. "Ok…then how long before the gifts start to show?"

Sothis appeared in front of her and huffed in response. " _These particular gifts will require a very large...gift box to grow in...when you consider the size of their father...and how small you are...I'd say you have a month, at the most, before people notice. Unless you start dressing very differently."_

"A month? I'm only a few days, maybe a week, pregnant." Byleth shook her head. "No, I remember when Leonie’s neighbor was pregnant, and we asked her a million questions. She said she started to show at seven or eight weeks."

_"Pregnancy is measured differently. You may have conceived only a week ago, but you are three weeks pregnant. And twins show sooner."_

"That's ridiculous."

Sothis shrugged. _"With my first set of twins, I showed incredibly early, about four weeks in. So... you may not even have the full month before someone asks if you've been gaining weight."_

Byleth groaned and it echoed in the small washroom. She had one month, if she was lucky. Four weeks to try to get through to Dimitri before anyone else got suspicious. And reinforcements meant help, but it also meant more people she would need to hide it from. Dimitri deserved to be the first to know, after all. She could keep it a secret until then. Despite what he said with his words, she knew he still loved her, his touch and his kiss told her that. He was hurting...but she was a healer. She could get through to him. She sighed. She needed to give Dimitri space and she didn’t want to spend the entire night in the washroom. Sothis was right about two things; Dimitri needed time, and Byleth needed something else to wear. It was a good thing they were hiding out in a clothing store. Byleth dried her tears and decided to go shopping while they waited for Claude to return. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note about my Dimitri: Since he found love with Byleth prior to the time skip he is not as feral as he normally would be. The memories of her kept him like 15% sane. I figure we can have a lot of fun in that 15%. 
> 
> Up next: Reinforcements and more reunions!
> 
> Lot's of fun guesses for who figures out Byleth's secret first. Are any of them correct? Hmmmmm. I'll never tell!
> 
> Leave me comments! I require external validation to motivate myself! Otherwise I accuse my beta of making 100 different accounts to leave me kudos lol. (I may have actually done this.)


	17. Say Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions galore and the gang fights some thieves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for they delay everyone. I meant to write, I really did...but I have been so distracted this last week. I'm back, so here's an update for you. Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter title from the song "Say Something" by A Great Big World which I listened to as I wrote the scene at the end of this chapter.

Byleth walked around the shop downstairs and tried to find something that she could wear while fighting that would also hide her stomach once she started showing. Things were a mess in the store. It would take her a while to shift through things, but she had time. She really didn't want to talk to Dimitri alone again for a while. To think she needed reinforcements to talk to the man she loved. She figured it would be easier if she stayed downstairs and left him up in the apartment, but he invaded her every thought.

She picked things up off the floor and wondered how long he had been at the monastery. She dusted off shelves and could still feel the ghost of the touch of his lips on hers, how his arms felt around her. She ached to touch him, comfort him. She stepped around broken glass and was consumed by sorrow that he had been imprisoned, hurt, and on his own for the five years she slept. She tried on various outfits and replayed every word he'd said to her.

Eventually, after a lot of searching and no clarity on what she should do about the wedge between her and Dimirti, she found something that might work. It was a short black dress made of loose flowing fabric that fell in ruffles down the body of the dress. She slipped it on over her tank top and shorts and removed her leggings. She tried a few kicks, spins, and squats and deemed it workable. Most importantly, it would hide a growing belly. She also traded her boots for a pair of sandals that laced up her legs. Her feet felt better immediately. Finally, she traded her old cloak for a shorter one that fastened with a piece of silver chainmail. It was close enough to her regular style to not arouse suspicion.

 _"You can definitely hide a few babies in there for a while!"_ Sothis said. _"And you look lovely."_

She made a note of everything she took so she knew how much to pay the shopkeeper if she ever returned, sat on a cushioned seat behind the shop counter, waited for Claude to return and tried not to drive herself crazy thinking about Dimitri. It was only a few hours later that she heard sounds coming from above her and briefly wondered what he was doing up there, but then she heard footsteps outside the door. She drew her sword and crouched behind the shop counter. 

"This place is a mess!" Byleth heard a female's voice and knew right away who it belonged to. She stood up and sheathed her sword. The pink-haired girl squealed. "Professor! You are here! I thought Claude was pulling my leg!" Hilda ran over and threw her arms around her.

"You could use a little leg pulling, short stuff." Claude replied, patting her on the head, condescendingly. Hilda released Byleth and threw a kick at Claude that he dodged easily.

"See if you had longer legs, that would've hit me." He laughed. "Teach! Look who else I found." Byleth was thrilled to see Caspar and Linhardt were with him as well. 

"We've got three more coming Professor!” Caspar shouted as he ran over to hug her. "Gosh you look exactly the same!"

"Claude tells us you were sleeping for five years. That sounds like an ideal way to spend a war." Linhardt smiled at her and hugged her around Caspar. 

Byleth sighed. "So, you believe me?"

"Why wouldn't I? You have never lied before, you look exactly the same, and there was never any real proof you died." Linhardt shrugged. "When I think about all I know about you and about crests and their abilities, it just makes sense that it would be the truth."

"Well now you're making me feel like a fool for doubting her." Claude said.

"You are a fool, Claude. Everyone knows that." Hilda said with a laugh.

"Who else is coming?" Byleth asked. "You said three more?"

"Yeah, these two have been staying with me in Goneril, we met up with Ferdinand and Felix at Bernadetta's house since it's the closest to here. We all traveled together." Hilda answered. "We couldn't all squeeze onto the three wyverns and they didn't want to leave the horses behind, so they're on their way."

"I can’t wait to see Felix!" Byleth smiled.

"Yeah, I know. The rest of us are chopped liver. You'll have to wait though; they're about a five-hour ride away, so it'll be awhile before they get here." Claude rubbed his hands together. "But we've got the beginnings of our reinforcements! I'm going to take a quick break and then head down the other side of the mountain with the wyverns to see if I can find the group coming from Gaspard. They must be wondering why I never showed up." 

"Who's coming from Gaspard, Claude?" Caspar asked.

"It was supposed to be a lot of people. Ashe, of course. Annette and Mercedes, and Sylvain and Ingrid. Leonie, Raphael, Ignatz, Lysithea and Marianne were supposed to meet up there too, but I got a message that they ran into some Imperial troops and had to change route. They're probably going to get here a day late."

"I thought you were coming up with Petra and Dorothea?" Hilda asked.

"I was going to, but I had to leave a little earlier than planned. They may be here a day late too coming all the way from Brigid." Claude said. "We should still be able to take out these thieves with everyone we'll have by tomorrow." 

After resting for a while Claude set off again while Byleth and the others talked and ate a small meal made from the supplies they brought. She thought about the fact that Dimitri hadn't eaten anything before they left the monastery that morning, so it had been over a day since he’d eaten. She pulled together a helping of food for him. She had vowed to give him space, but she couldn’t let him starve.

***

Dimitri sat staring out the window where she had left him hours earlier. He heard someone coming up the stairs and opening the door, but he didn't turn to look. He knew who it would be. He prepared himself to ignore her. 

"Your Highness, the Professor wanted me to let you know some of the reinforcements are here. Obviously, or I wouldn't be here." A tall, thin man stood before him. Linhardt. "We should have more fighters in a few hours, and then another big group tomorrow afternoon." 

" _You don’t need to wait for reinforcements! You killed a hundred Imperial troops by yourself, you can take out a few dirty thieves! Why are you waiting?!"_ His father yelled behind Linhardt.

Linhardt walked over and sat a plate of food on the windowsill. "She also sent you something to eat." Dimitri made a noncommittal grunting sound. Linhardt yawned. "Well, I'll be sleeping in one of these rooms. Caspar said he'd come wake me when the rest of the reinforcements get here. Good night, I'm glad to see you alive, Your Highness."

Dimitri watched Linhardt walk out of the room and felt his heart drop. Glen laughed. " _She sent a messenger! You really did it this time. You pushed her away and she's probably finished with you for good. I’m happy for her. She deserves better and you have more important things to focus on."_

He stared out the window lamenting the fact that she had given up on him, but knowing it was better for her that she had.

***

Linhardt had not been upstairs long before Byleth noticed that both Hilda and Caspar were struggling to stay awake as well. She knew the apartment upstairs had two bedrooms and sent them up to rest. She would wait for the rest of the reinforcements coming that night. She was eager to see them all, but mostly Felix. 

“You can bunk with me if you want to, Caspar.” Hilda said to him, sweetly.

“Oh, thanks. That’s ok though. I’ve had sleepovers with Lin since we were little. I don’t mind bunking with him and giving you privacy.” Caspar said. Hilda’s smile fell slightly. “Night, Professor.”

“I’m not your professor anymore…” Byleth called to Caspar’s back as he went up the stairs. She turned to Hilda. “Aren’t you two together?”

“No…” Hilda said, clearly annoyed. “I’ve been dropping hints on him for years and he just doesn’t get it.” She sighed. “Well, goodnight, Professor….” Byleth opened her mouth to correct her. “Yeah, I know, I know not my professor anymore.” She turned to go up the stairs and then poked her head back around the wall. “Cute outfit by the way! I totally approve.” 

Byleth sat down behind the counter again, put her feet up, and yawned. She had a few hours before the next group arrived. She was exhausted and decided to close her eyes for a few minutes. She was startled awake sometime later by someone shaking her shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw Felix’s looking back.

"Eisner! Stand up!" He demanded. 

She was confused but stood up slowly. She had been so excited to see him it didn’t occur to her that he might be upset with her too. She braced for him to yell at her. Instead he threw his arms around her. 

"No! None of your bullshit, from-the-side, cat hugs!" She had automatically turned to the side when he hugged her as she usually did when anyone hugged her, except for Dimitri. He turned her around and she hugged him properly. He rested his chin on her head.

"I knew it." Felix whispered. "I knew you couldn't really be gone. Nobody believed me but Seteth, but I knew." He squeezed her more tightly and kissed the top of her head. They embraced for a while and Byleth wished her reunion with Dimitri had been this easy. She looked around and didn't see Ferdinand or Bernadetta.

"Where are the others?" She asked. 

"I sent them upstairs to sleep. Bernie was so tired she was about to fall off her horse." He answered with a chuckle.

"I slept through you guys getting here and people going upstairs?" She asked. 

He finally loosened his embrace enough to look at her face. "From what Claude said, you slept through a lot." 

She tightened the hug again. "I have proof..." She thought of the splinter and wondered if he'd remember.

"I don't need it." He scoffed. "I trust you, By."

"What is going on?" Dimitri growled. They broke apart and looked at him. "You should be giving the order to attack now that the reinforcements are here, not doing whatever it is you were about to do."

"Most of our reinforcements are asleep. The rest aren't here yet. You'll have to wait to attack until morning, at least." Byleth crossed her arms. "And we weren't about to do anything." He scowled at her. She kept her face calm. "Just because Felix is actually happy that I didn't die, doesn't mean I'm going to make out with him."

"Please don't." Felix said.

“I’m exhausted.” She turned to Felix. “Can you wake me when Claude and the others get here?” He nodded. She looked at Dimitri. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but it seemed like everything she said or did only made him angrier, and she was too tired to try, so she said nothing. 

Once upstairs, she walked quietly through the living area careful not to not wake Ferdinand, who was curled up on the couch. She opened the first of the bedroom doors and saw Hilda and Bernadetta laying on the bed, sharing a thin blanket. She went in, closing the door behind her. She sat and took off her shoes and cloak. 

“Can I squeeze in with you?” Byleth whispered.

“Of course!” Bernadetta scooted over to make a space between them and Byleth settled in between the two girls. Bernadetta turned over to face her. “Hi Professor....” She yawned and threw an arm around her, snuggling closer. “I’m so happy to see you. And I’m glad you’re here...it’s so cold here and you’re so warm!” Byleth felt Hilda curl up next to her on the other side. 

“Body heat helps…” Hilda said. “Stupid Caspar not wanting to cuddle with me…” Byleth giggled, allowed herself to feel the warmth of her friends, and let her exhaustion overtake her. Her last thought before falling asleep was that she agreed with Hilda. As nice as the comfort of her friends was, she would rather be cuddling with Dimitri under his very warm-looking cloak.

*** 

Dimitri watched Byleth walk away and cursed himself for pushing her away even more. He knew nothing was happening between her and Felix, just like he knew nothing was going on with her and Claude, but it still enraged him to see Felix hugging her. It was his own fault. He could be the one hugging her if he wasn’t such a broken mess. She had kissed him and told him she still loved him, and he pushed her away because he hated himself so much he could not bear to hear it.

Felix came over to where he stood. "Boar…where have you been? I've been all over Fodlan looking for you!"

"You found me." Dimitri replied with a sneer. "Where I have been does not matter."

“Is Dedue with you?" Felix asked. "Claude didn’t mention him, but he disappeared the night you escaped jail and we never saw him again, I always hoped maybe he had found you.”

Dimitri grimaced. Dedue _was_ always with him, like the rest of his ghosts, but that wasn’t what Felix meant. “No. He helped me to escape. His friends from Duscar helped me out of the city and healed me as best they could, but Dedue stayed behind. He died in my place.” Felix scoffed. Dimitri glared at him. How dare he make light of Dedue’s sacrifice? 

“He didn’t die in your place, dumbass.” Felix said. “I know, I was at your so-called execution. Somebody died, but it wasn’t Dedue. It had to have been one of Thales’ people, like Monica and Tomas. This guy looked and sounded just like you. He went up there and confessed to killing Rufus. Dedue would never have done that.”

 _“If he did not die in your place, he must have died another way because he is here with us.”_ His father said. _“How or when he died does not change the fact that he died for you and you owe him the restitution of vengeance.”_

“It does not matter if he did not succumb to the swing of the axe meant for me. He still died for me.” Dimitri said. 

“How do you know?” Felix challenged. “Let me guess...your ghosts.” He shook his head. “Pathetic. When will you understand that your ghosts are just your own guilt and pain trying to make sense of things? They aren’t real!”

“You do not know what you are talking about!” He walked away, back up the stairs, bypassing the second floor where everyone else was and going all the way up to the third-floor terrace. Felix said his ghosts were not real. What did that mean? How could they not be real when they were always with him?

“ _What does my little brother know!”_ Glenn roared. “ _He is not the one who was at Duscar and saw us get slaughtered. You were there, you heard your father’s dying words!”_

 _“I died asking you to avenge me, do not let anyone tell you that is not real!”_ His father yelled. _“You do not answer to the Fraldarius boy, you answer to me! If you want to fulfill our goal you need to take control of this. Wake up and rally your troops, take out those thieves, and then find that woman and take her head!”_

They were right. He could not let anyone deter him from what he needed to do, not Felix, not Byleth. He knew what was required of him. He would take Edelgard’s life and likely die in the process. It would not be a great loss. Nobody would miss him. He stood at the balcony and looked out over the town square where the thieves were laughing loudly. He would wait until first light when the thieves were asleep, and he would make his move, reinforcements or no. He was done waiting. 

***

Byleth had never been more annoyed. She asked Dimitri to wait until the rest of the reinforcements arrived. She told him the reinforcements they had were tired and needed rest. She thought he understood, but Felix had woken them all up pounding on the door at dawn yelling that Dimitri was threatening to leave to attack the thieves’ nest by himself. They all rushed to get dressed, snap up their weapons, and back him up. Byleth hurried to catch up with him. 

“You promised not to leave and storm the square alone!” Byleth yelled at him.

“And I am not. We have reinforcements and I am tired of waiting.” Dimitri snapped back. 

“Ugh!” He was so frustrating. She turned to look at who they had with them. “Ok, Linhardt, Hilda, and Caspar go around the east side. Felix, Bernie, and Ferdinand go around the west side. Dimitri…”

“I am going through the middle, straight to the leader!” Dimitri ran into the building before she could say another word. 

“Shit! You guys go! I’ll back him up. Let’s make this quick but be careful. We don’t need anyone getting hurt.” Byleth ran after Dimitri as the two groups moved to flank them. “Dimitri...wait!” He was weaving and cutting through bandits so quickly she was stunned. She scrambled to catch up. He fought so differently. When she first met him, his form was too proper to be effective on the battlefield, but after training he had learned to loosen up and fight using his strength instead of holding it back...but the way he was fighting now...she had never seen anything like it. He was like a one-man army, but a reckless one. He fought less like a soldier and more like the bandits he used to fight against. He was aggressive, his crest activating every few seconds. He was...exposed - completely ignoring his blind side. “Dimitri!” She ran to dispatch the man vaulting toward him on the right, sword raised. He made no move to show that he had even noticed. “You need to be aware of your right side!” He grunted at her and pushed ahead. She struggled to keep up.

“Well look here boys...I found us a pretty piece of treasure we can all share.” Byleth found herself surrounded by thieves. It was her worst nightmare. There was no way she could take them all. She jabbed her sword forward to hit one, pulled it out a second later and spun to strike one of the ones behind her. The thief closest to her grabbed her arm during her backswing and wrenched her sword out of her hand, his face only an inch from hers. “You’re coming with us, princess.” His breath smelled. In the next moment, the point of a lance erupted through his neck. 

“Do not touch her!” Dimitri’s voice bellowed and rang in her ears. He slaughtered another of the men around her. She bent and picked up her sword, helping him take out the rest. As the last one fell, he turned to her. “Are you alright?” He asked. She couldn’t speak and nodded instead. She was shocked. He had saved her. He blinked slowly and turned back toward the town center. “Let’s go. Stay with me this time!” His voice was still gruff, but it did not have the same harshness it did previously. She followed him until they came to a locked door. 

“We’re going to have to go around or see if one of these guys has a key on them.” She gestured to the fallen men at their feet. 

“Not if you know someone who can pick a lock!” Claude yelled down at them from atop a wyvern, Ashe riding behind him. 

“Ashe!” She yelled. 

“Professor!” Ashe raced to her and hugged her. “Your Highness! You’re both alive!”

“That’s the rumor.” She smiled at him. “Do you think you can unlock this door?” Ashe nodded and went to work. Claude dismounted as a pegasus landed next to him with Ingrid and Annette aboard it. They both enveloped Byleth in an embrace as they waited for Ashe to unlock the door. 

“Your Highness, Professor! I’m so glad you’re both safe!” Ingrid said. “Sylvain, Mercedes, and Gilbert are on the other side of the square. They’ll be so happy to see you too!” 

Ashe unlocked the door and they rushed into the square where the others were already engaged in a fight with the core of the thieves' gang. It didn’t take long before they defeated most of them and the others turned and ran. 

“Yeah! And don’t come back!” Caspar yelled after them. “We’ll be waiting for you if you do!”

Lindhardt looked around at everyone assembled. “How incredible that those present managed to gather, despite the terrible state of things…”

Caspar laughed. “The most incredible part of it is that you didn’t oversleep and miss the reunion!”

"I think Byleth did more than enough oversleeping for everyone." Felix scoffed.

They all walked back to the monastery together. Dimitri was walking far ahead, obviously trying to get away from the group, but Gilbert caught up to him once they were inside the monastery gates and heading toward the dining hall. 

“Your highness, I have been following news of your whereabouts for a while now. I’m relieved to have finally found you.” Gilbert bowed to him. “My place is with you. I can attempt to rally support for you from as many lords as I can in the eastern region of Faerghus. As for the lords from the western regions, they have declared their fealty to the Empire, starting with house Rowe.”

“House Rowe?” Byleth turned to look at Ashe.

“That’s right. Lord Gwendal has sided with the Empire. I knew when we left Gaspard to come here that I wouldn’t be returning. My siblings are still there, but they’re just children. They won’t be made to fight and they will be taken care of. I would have been expected to fight at his side, for the Empire.” Ashe looked at Dimitri. “I didn’t know if you were alive, Your Highness, but Felix said you were, and I couldn’t take the chance of fighting against you when I should be fighting beside you.”

“You are a fine knight Ashe.” Gilbert said. Ashe blushed. “Your Highness, please allow him, allow all of us, to take up arms at your side once more. What we need more than anything isn’t soldiers, money, or supplies...we need the legitimate heir of Faerghus to overthrow the Empire and reclaim the Kingdom!” Dimitri shook his head. “Such is your duty. It is yours alone to bear and well worth fighting for. Only you can gather our troops and lead us back into the light.”

“You know, you should all stay here. After all, it’s right in the middle of Fodlan. It’s a critical strategic location.” Claude said. “You can take over the monastery as your base, raise up an army, and whip some trouble for the Empire.”

“Now you’re talking!” Caspar shouted. “Sounds like fun!”

“So then, Mr. Leader Man, are you suggesting we actually fight back against the Empire? And that you intend to rope us into your little scheme?” Hilda asked. “I mean, aren’t you getting a bit ahead of yourself? The Alliance is in complete discord at present. Lorenz and his father are siding with the Empire. If you are here, who will keep them from spreading their Empire propaganda?”

“You have a point. That’s why I won’t be staying with you.” Byleth looked at Claude with eyes wide. He wasn’t staying? “Sorry everyone, I have to go back to Derdriu and try to keep things afloat, but I will be your ally from there. The cause of all the infighting in the Alliance is because of the Empire. The cause of the unrest in Faerghus is because of the Empire. If we rid ourselves of them, those situations should resolve themselves, but I can’t leave the territory alone.”

“I see.” Dimitri looked down at the ground. “So, you all agree that we must fight back. And you see how that woman...how the Empire cannot be forgiven. That we must wipe them all out until not a single one of them remains.”

“Wipe them all out? Ummm...I don’t think any of us here is suggesting anything that extreme.” Annette said. 

“I agree.” Ferdinand said. “There are plenty of people in the Empire who do not believe in what Edelgard is trying to achieve.”

"They are complicit in their silence. If they do not fight with us, they are against us!" Dimitri a step towards Ferdinand.

"Many don't fight because they have families to keep safe.” Ferdinand countered. “Just because they haven't defected doesn't mean they aren't suffering under Edelgard’s regime, Your Highness. Her war is not exactly popular outside of Enbarr and the surrounding areas. There are many devout followers of the Church in the Empire who are lost. They don't want the church to fall any more than we do."

“All of us are fighting for a different reason, but we have a common enemy.” Claude broke in and stood between Dimitri and Ferdinand. “If we don’t act, the Empire will crush us all eventually. I say we stop them before they have the chance.” He gestured at Byleth. “Not to mention, we have Teach. With her on our side, the church will join us as well. That makes fighting the Empire a moral cause, which means it will be easier to rally support."

"You are all fools. Fight for whatever reasons you want. It matters little. I fight to take that woman's head. If you want to stay and fight, so be it. But do not expect that I will sacrifice my goals to achieve yours." He stomped off in the direction of the cathedral leaving everyone else stunned in his wake.

“That was awkward.” Hilda said. “What’s going on with him?”

“A lot.” Sylvain answered. “But it’s too much to explain on an empty stomach.”

“Right, let’s go make some dinner and we can all get caught up.” Mercedes answered. 

They all went into the kitchens and dining hall to make dinner. Byleth noticed that Mercedes was looking at her strangely as if trying to figure something out. With Mercedes being an empath, would she be able to sense pregnancy or just how Byleth was feeling? She decided not to risk it and kept her distance as much as possible. Once the meal was ready, she grabbed a plate and asked Felix if he wanted to eat outside with her, knowing he hated being around large groups of people. He agreed. As they walked out of the dining hall with their food, Sylvain filled everyone in on what happened to Dimitri after the battle of Garreg Mach. 

Byleth and Felix had just finished eating when Gilbert walked up to them with his usual serious expression looking more grim than usual. 

“Professor...there is something I would like to ask you.” He looked at Felix then back at her. “Would you join me inside for a quick word...alone.”

“Anything you have to ask me you can ask in front of Felix.” Byleth replied. “I’d probably just tell him anyway.” Felix smirked; Gilbert glared at him.

“I wanted to ask what your plans are.” Gilbert said. “The Knights of Seiros have been searching for Rhea, and for you, since that day five years ago. Once news of your survival gets out everyone will flock back to the monastery. Do you plan on staying? “

“Of course, I plan on staying.” Byleth said, “The monastery is the only real home I’ve ever known. What is left of my family is tied to the Church of Seiros and so am I, as Rhea’s successor. Where else would you expect me to be?” 

“You are right, I should have known that.” Gilbert hesitated. “I suppose my real question is, are you planning on fighting with us? You have no real ties to the Kingdom, after all.” 

She glared at Gilbert. No real ties? She could think of two very real ties to the Kingdom growing in her womb. “I do have ties to the Kingdom. My father was from Faerghus. I taught the Blue Lion house. My friends are from Faerghus. Not to mention Dimitri.”

“Yeah, let’s not mention Dimitri.” Felix smirked. “I can’t believe all the time I was looking for him and I never thought to look here.”

“I don’t think he’s been here that long.” Byleth said. “He didn’t answer when I asked.”

“I should have known to check the monastery for him as well.” Gilbert said. “After everything that happened, it would make sense he would make his way back here. He was more at peace here than he has ever been anywhere.”

“What exactly did happen in the Kingdom?” Byleth asked. “I was about to ask Felix when you came over. Claude said he didn’t know, and Dimitri wasn’t exactly forthcoming.” 

“There is much to tell you about that, but I will explain everything in due time.” Gilbert said. She frowned.

“Or you could tell me now.” She crossed her arms. Felix smirked.

Gilbert looked between the two of them and sighed. “Very well...after that battle in which you fell, a certain...incident took place in Fhirdiad. Rufus…”

“Dimitri’s uncle…” Felix said.

“...who was serving as King Regent, was murdered.” Gilbert continued.

“Yeah, by his scheming bitch of a wife, Cornelia” Felix growled. 

“Watch your language please.” Gilbert grunted. “Cornelia is a mage who served the royal family for over twenty years. She was married to the King Regent. She killed him and claimed it was His Highness that committed the crime...”

“You’re being too kind.” Felix cut him off. “Cornelia is a bitch, and we hate her. She framed Dimitri for murder, tortured him in jail and had his doppelganger executed. She would have killed him if he hadn’t escaped.”

“Language, Lord Fraldarius.” Gilbert said. Felix rolled his eyes. “Cornelia is operating out of the royal palace now. She has the support of the Empire. They’ve been building an army to take out the remaining Kingdom forces that are loyal to His Highness.”

“That bitch took over everything.” Felix shook his head. “She’s subdued most of the Kingdom, except for a couple of... rebellious holdouts.” 

“Please refrain from using that word again, young man...Indeed, Fraldarius and Gautier are leading the rebellion.” Gilbert glared at Felix. “Most of Fraldarius at any rate.”

“I was searching for Dimitri, and for Byleth. I’m sorry if that meant I had to leave the Kingdom.” Felix rolled his eyes. 

“The Kingdom was not the only thing you left behind.” Gilbert crossed his arms.

Felix scoffed. “Not this again. No offence but mind your own business _Gustave_. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and you of all people have nothing to say about leaving people behind.”

“So... Let me see if I have this straight.” Byleth interrupted them. “Half of Faerghus is fighting the other half with support from the Empire, and everyone thinks Dimitri is dead. And half the Alliance, led by House Daphnel, is fighting the other half of the Alliance, led by Lorenz - also with the help of the Empire, while Claude tries to hold it together.”

“Yeah, that’s basically it.” Felix nodded. “It’s really not that complicated. The Empire is winning, and we’re totally fucked.”

“Felix! Such language is unacceptable in the presence of a lady. Especially when the lady is the successor to the Archbishop!” Gilbert was scandalized. 

“Probably the future Queen too.” Felix muttered under his breath.

Byleth tried to hide a smile. “It’s alright Gilbert, I’m used to Felix by now.” She paused. “If there is nothing else, I think I’ll retire for the evening. I’m rather tired. Felix, would you mind walking me to my room.”

“Nothing else for now, but we should probably all meet for a strategy meeting in the morning. I will go find His Highness and see if I can convince him to attend. Shall we say nine o’clock in the cardinal’s room?” Byleth nodded. “Have a good night, Your Grace.” Gilbert bowed to Byleth, glared at Felix one last time, then walked away from them. 

“Wow…” Byleth finally let herself laugh. “What is going on with you and Gilbert?”

“He’s an asshole, that’s what’s going on.” Felix shook his head. “He’s pissed off at me because his daughter dumped me, and I left Faerghus. As if it was somehow my fault that she broke up with me.”

“Annette dumped you?” Byleth was shocked. She always thought the two would end up married someday. “When did this happen?” 

Felix laughed. “It happened two weeks after you fell. It’s been years but her stupid dad still hates me.” Felix shrugged. “I mean, we weren't even together for a whole year. She and Ashe have been together for over three! I really don’t know what his deal is, but he needs to get over it.”

“Annette and Ashe...wow...I guess I can see that. So, what happened with you two? Was it your fault?” She looked at him over the rim of her glasses.

“No!” Felix frowned. “It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. We cared about each other, but she didn’t think it was going to work out long term. She was right. We both moved on, and we’re really good friends now.” He looked at her. “Just because you love someone, it doesn’t always mean you should be together.”

“Why do I get the feeling you aren’t talking about you and Annette when you say that?” Byleth knew what he was saying. She’d been telling herself something similar for the last few hours. If it wasn’t for the pregnancy, she’d probably give up on trying to rekindle things with Dimitri altogether. It wasn’t in her nature to beg.

“Because I am. You know I don’t mince words.” Felix shook his head. “I know you love him, but that might not be enough.” She sighed. 

“I don’t want to talk about me and Dimitri anymore. Let’s talk about you some more. You said you and Annette _both_ moved on…” Byleth smiled at him. “Who are you tormenting with your affections now? Anyone I know?”

“Yeah, you know her.” Felix blushed slightly. “But it’s more like she torments me...she drives me up the wall, I swear. In a good way.” He smiled, his whole face going soft for a moment before he caught himself. Byleth stared at him, she'd never seen him make that face. Whoever he was talking about, he was clearly head over heels. She looked at him patiently, waiting for an answer. He blushed even more. “Bernadetta. I’m...courting Bernadetta.”

“Courting, congratulations!” Byleth pulled him in for a hug from the side. “That means you’re engaged right?”

“Yes, that’s what it means.” Felix nodded and patted Byleth’s head. “Look who finally learned something.” 

She shoved him away. “I can’t believe you’re engaged to Bernie! When did that happen? How?” She asked, while looking over to where Bernadetta was sitting and giggling with Annette of all people. “You have to tell me everything. Including why your ex-girlfriend and future wife are over there acting like they’re the best of friends.”

“They kind of are now. I blame Ashe.” Felix smiled. “I blame Ashe for me being with Bernie altogether really…. but it’s a long story.”

"Well, walk me to my room and tell me." Byleth hooked her elbow around Felix's. He looked at her, taken aback. 

"You're actually going to sleep? I thought you were just trying to get rid of Gilbert." He laughed, but then looked concerned. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you go to bed this early. Are you sick?”

“No…” Byleth yawned. "It's just been a long day." They walked to her room and Felix told her the story of why Annette broke up with him and why it was Ashe's fault that he and Bernadetta reunited two tears previously, and then fell for each other almost instantly.

"I'm happy for you. I really am." 

"Thanks. You don’t look happy, but I'm guessing that has less to do with me and more to do with the boar." Felix shook his head. "It seems like he's being a bigger asshole than ever, but there is a reason for that. Just...don’t try to jump back to where you left off right away." His expression darkened. "He's been through a lot."

"You're defending him? That's new." Byleth was slightly annoyed. Felix was supposed to be on her side.

"I'm not defending him...Ok, I'm not only defending him; I’m also protecting you. I saw what they did to him in that prison, he’s probably traumatized. Add in losing his kingdom, thinking you were dead, losing Dedue, and being on his own all time?" Felix shrugged. “It’s a miracle he’s speaking to any of us.”

Byleth nodded and said goodnight to Felix, not eager to continue the conversation further. Every time she thought about Dimitri, she got an ache in her chest and a fear not unlike what she felt when she was falling into the ravine. She lay down and thought about everything that had happened in the few days since she woke up. She was so tired. Part of her wanted to get up and go look for Dimitri, but he’d told her to leave him alone. She had to stop running after him.

“Sothis... what if Felix is right? What if after everything, we just aren’t supposed to be together?” Sothis didn’t answer, which meant she was probably asleep. Byleth rubbed her stomach and thought about her growing children. “What are we going to do, little ones?” She knew not to expect an answer and fell asleep without coming up with one of her own.

***

The next day Byleth decided she needed to give Dimitri space. A lot of space. She also concluded that she should continue to keep her distance from Mercedes just in case she could sense things. It wasn’t that she thought Mercedes would tell anyone. She just wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about it yet, and she still wanted Dimitri to know first. She chose to go to the outer wall with the group waiting for everyone else to arrive instead. Byleth, Felix, Ingrid and Claude set out for the wall and waited. Ingrid was excited to see Dorothea again. Claude wanted to make sure Petra and Dorothea made it safely from Brigid since he left them to travel alone and wanted to ensure the Alliance group made it too. Byleth and Felix were mostly waiting for Leonie. Occasionally, Claude would hop on Omara and fly around to see if he spotted anyone. After a few hours of waiting, he finally returned from a trip saying the Alliance group was not far away. 

Felix turned to Byleth. “I’m going to run ahead and meet them and let Leonie know what to expect. I know you want to surprise her, but I don’t want her to die of shock.” Byleth looked at him quizzically. “I always believed you were still out there. She thought you were gone. I think she didn’t want to get her hopes up in case you never came back.” Felix ran out of the entrance and down the road into the surrounding forest.

A few minutes later he was back and dragging a girl behind him. Byleth didn’t recognize her at first; she looked so different, but it was Leonie. For a moment they just stared at each other. Then they both squealed, and Leonie jumped on her, squeezing her in the tightest hug of anyone so far. 

“You’re alive!” Leonie shrieked.

“Look at your hair!” Byleth yelled at the same time. 

“I’ve missed you, you brat.” Leonie let her go. She had tears running down her face. “How dare you die on me! Don’t do it again!”

“I’ll try not to.” Byleth laughed.

She suddenly felt her feet leave the ground and panicked for a moment until she realized she was being held up and spun around by Raphael. Leonie smacked his arm. 

“Raph, put her down. You’re going to make her dizzy!” He set her down on her feet gently and she greeted Marianne, Lysithea, and Ignatz. 

Felix threw an arm around Leonie who was still crying. “Damn, Leonie. I haven’t seen you cry this much since your wedding.”

“Wedding!” Byleth’s mouth dropped open. “You’re married! I missed your wedding?!” Her eyes filled with tears. “I’ve missed so much.” Leonie hugged her again. 

“I’m sorry By. If I had known you were coming back, I would’ve waited.”

“Felix told you she wasn’t dead.” Lysithea pointed out. 

They all sat and rested while Claude took off on another fly over to see if he could spot Dorothea and Petra. 

“So... married. When did that happen?” Byleth put her head on Leonie’s shoulder. “Do you guys have kids or anything?”

“It’s been a little over two years, and... no.” Leonie laughed. “We’re at war. Only a crazy person would have kids right now.” Byleth was relieved that Leonie couldn’t see her face because she could feel herself blushing. She knew Mercedes would be able to keep her secret if she figured it out, she was just as sure that Leonie could not. 

They sat for a while until Claude flew back over with Petra in front of him on the wyvern and Dorothea behind. “The gang’s all here!” Claude yelled down to them as the girls waved wildly. “We'll meet you at the monastery!” 

They all walked back and everyone, except Dimitri, spent the evening having their long-awaited reunion. It was wonderful being around everyone again, but she missed him. She was a moth drawn to his flame. She didn’t mind catching on fire if she could get him back.

***

Dimitri stood in the cathedral, standing next to a giant pile of rubble, and looking up at the hole in the ceiling. He turned at the sound of footsteps. Her new sandals made a lot less noise than her boots used to. The part of him that was still human recognized how good she looked in her new clothes. Not that it mattered. She was beautiful regardless of what she wore; it was torture. He wanted to embrace her, kiss her again, tell her how much he still loved her. She had said she still loved him. But she had not spoken to him since, except during the fight against the thieves. She probably hated him now. It hurt to look at her. He turned his gaze back toward the rubble. It would be easier to control himself if she stood in his blind spot. 

She held up the plate she held. "You missed the reunion dinner, but I thought you might be hungry."

" _She brought you food, how sweet_." Glenn said, sarcastically. _"Where was she when you were being starved in prison? Where was she when you survived on weeds and vermin in the wilderness?"_

He said nothing.

"I talked to Felix. He was telling me you went through a lot while you were in jail. I can only imagine how hard life has been for you on the run…. I’m here if you ever need to talk, or if you need anything." She set the plate down on the front pew and walked closer to him. "You know, it's really hard for me to go from you loving me to you hating me in the span of a few days. I'd settle for us being friends for now. We were friends once."

Friends. He had never thought of her as a friend. He loved her from the very beginning. And she thought he hated her when nothing could be further from the truth. He considered correcting her but decided it would be easier if she thought that. She had survived. He would not take the chance of cursing her once more. He shifted his gaze from the rubble to the sky outside the hole in the roof, keeping his silence.

"Are you going to ignore me now? After everything we've been through together, we're just not going to talk to each other anymore? Is that what you want...Look at me!"

He turned his head but didn't respond. They stared at each other. He clenched his jaw to swallow everything he wished he could say to her. He wondered what she was thinking but her face was impassive.

She sighed. "Dimitri, say something. I’m just trying to help you. I’m sorry that you went through so much, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there..." 

"I do not need your pity." He spat angrily. 

"It isn’t pity." She took a step forward. 

“I thought I told you to leave me alone.” He growled, looking away from her. "There are plenty of your former students here now, go play Professor somewhere else."

He waited for her to continue trying to break through his defenses. He expected her to reach out to him again. Instead, she turned on her heel and walked out of the cathedral without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, the last of the reunions and someone finds out what Byleth is hiding! But whoooooo. Who will it be?!
> 
> I've loved reading all your comments! In the immortal words of Britney Spears: Gimme more!


	18. You're Pregnant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More reunions and Byleth's secret is out of the bag!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dropping a late night update and ninja-ing away! Enjoy! *backflips into bed*

Over the next few days Byleth and most of the others set about cleaning and making parts of the monastery inhabitable again, while the strongest gathered and buried the bodies of the fallen Imperial soldiers. Dimitri refused to help with either task and remained in the cathedral. He said cleaning was pointless and had suggested they leave the fallen where they lay and let the carrion birds have them. For the first few days, Byleth continued to go to him in the cathedral and try to talk to him, take him food to try to get him to eat or, or sleep, or do anything other than stand at the ruined altar screaming at his ghosts, but he ignored her most of the time, and was hostile toward her the rest. She had stopped going to see him altogether, making a schedule for the other former Blue Lions to ensure he had food taken to him every day instead. She was trying to give him time, but what she really wanted, some days, was to give him a solid punch to the face.

She was working on cleaning the reception hall with Lysithea and Hilda, about a week after the reunion, when she heard a high-pitched squeal coming from the doors leading to the Entrance hall. She turned and saw Flayn running toward her. 

“Professor!” She pulled her into a hug and Byleth noticed that, like her, Flayn looked exactly the same as she had five years prior. “It is so good to see you again! My brother and I never lost hope that you were alive!” A group of people had walked in behind Flayn and they all came to greet Byleth.

“Guess you lucked out.” Shamir said. “Heard you took quite a fall.”

“I’m sure luck had nothing to do with it!” Catherine laughed, slapping Byleth on the shoulder. “Our girl is sturdy and strong. I bet she would survive a fall off a cliff twice as high!”

“Let’s not test that theory, shall we.” Manuela stepped forward and embraced her. Byleth was sure she had not been hugged in her entire life as much as she had since Sothis woke her. “You’ll have to let me look you over to make sure you have no lasting injuries.” Byleth nodded, thinking that there was no way she was going to do that until she was ready to talk about her pregnancy. She had managed to keep it a secret, although some people had noticed her new and odd behaviors of being moodier, sleepier, and not drinking anymore. She told everyone the changes must be because of the long time she slept, and she was fairly sure they believed her. All the same, she was happy the day that Claude departed the monastery and went back to Derdriu because he seemed the most suspicious. 

“I wouldn’t mind sitting in on any such exam if possible, Manuela.” Hanneman broke in. “I’m sure her survival had something to do with her crest.”

“Oh Hanneman, do you ever speak of anything else?” Manuela shooed him away. “Go...clean something.”

“Hmmm. I know you are just trying to get rid of me, but there is a great deal of valuable literature here. Perhaps I will make my way to the library and see what the looters have left us.” Hanneman said. 

“Annette and Bernie are in the library now, Professor Hanneman.” Hilda said. “Although I doubt, we had too many thieves who were stealing books. They’re heavy and have little resale value.”

Byleth saw that Seteth had made his way in and she smiled. He spotted her in the crowd and his eyes widened. He rushed over to her. She smiled. “Long time no see, Seteth.”

“Yes, it is, but this is no time for casual chatter…” Seteth’s eyebrows were raised higher than she’d ever seen them. "Byleth you...you're…" He shook his head in disbelief and Byleth swore she saw tears in the corners of his eyes. His mouth was open but no words were coming out. 

“Alive?” She offered.

"Yes! You're... alive!" He enveloped her in a hug. "Oh, goddess! This is…" 

“Felix told us you believed him about her being alive the whole time, Seteth? Why are you so surprised?” Lysithea asked. 

“Of course! Of course, I believed him.” Seteth squeezed her tighter. “But that...is different from seeing her in person again.”

"Are you ok?" Byleth asked, still laughing, even though she was trying to pull away from the hug. "Seteth, I can’t breathe."

"Oh! Yes, I apologize. I’m not sure what came over me.” He released her and held her at arm’s length looking at her in awe. "Amazing…"

"I look exactly the same, I know." Byleth grinned.

"You have certainly not aged a day since we last saw you." Seteth’s face turned serious. "I don't suppose Rhea was with you?" 

Byleth shook her head and leaned in closer where only he could hear her. "I was with Sothis." She whispered. 

Seteth blinked. "Oh, well in a way, that makes a lot of sense." He put his hand on her shoulder. "With Rhea still missing, that makes you acting Archbishop...Your Grace."

Byleth grimaced. "I don't mind the job, but do I have to take the title?" 

He chuckled. "The title comes with perks. Where have you been sleeping?" 

"My old room is in serviceable shape so…"

"With those tiny uncomfortable beds? That won't do." Seteth turned to the group behind him. "Cyril!" 

A very tall young man sped over. "Yes, Sir?" He turned to look at her. "Professor! Wow, you look exactly the same!"

"Cyril? My goodness, look at you! You definitely don't look exactly the same!" She smiled. "You're all grown up!" 

He grinned. "Just a little. What did you need from me, Sir?"

"Well, as Byleth is going to be taking on the role of acting Archbishop, can you please make sure the Archbishop's quarters are prepared for her starting this evening." Seteth said. 

"Oh...of course." Cyril hesitated. "What if Lady Rhea comes back?"

"I'd move back to my old room, of course. But honestly, it's really not necessary; I can just use my old room now." Byleth looked at Seteth and knew she would not win this argument.

"If Rhea were here, she would insist upon it." Seteth said. It was enough for Cyril, who bowed and immediately ran for the third floor. Flayn followed him, yelling suggestions, and offering to help. Seteth turned to face the rest of the assembled Knights of Seiros and smiled.

"Allow me to introduce our acting Archbishop bishop, everyone." Seteth announced. Byleth blushed at the applause that followed. "Now, please excuse us, there are some things about the position and what it entails that we must go over, we will see you all a bit later." He turned to her. "If you would accompany me to your office, Lady Byleth?" 

"Of course." She nodded and he practically dragged her upstairs to what used to be Rhea’s office, which she guessed was now hers. She sat down and he closed the doors and turned to face her.

"You're pregnant!" He whispered, leaning against the door and smiling widely at her. She was stunned into silence. "You are, right?” He asked, his face turning pale. “Oh, goddess...did you not know?"

Byleth dropped her head onto her desk and groaned. So much for Dimitri being the first to know. She looked back up at Seteth who was staring at her, waiting for an answer. "Yes, I am and yes, I knew...the question is how did you know?"

He smiled and stared at her again, pointing at the area around her. "Nabatean women have a certain glow around them when they are pregnant, like a faint but visible halo. Only a Nabatean male can usually see it. It’s glorious." He smiled wistfully. "I haven't seen one since Flayn’s mother...until today. I suppose your partial Nabatean heritage is stronger than we thought." 

"Seteth...you can't tell anyone. Even the father doesn't know yet. Nobody knows, except you...I blame you for that, Sothis." She said aloud. Sothis floated in front of her.

 _"I'd forgotten all about the glow. How silly of me."_ Sothis giggled.

"You can speak to her again?" Seteth asked.

"Yes, she's right there." Byleth pointed to where Sothis was floating to Seteth’s left.

He turned his head and looked at the space beside him and stood up straighter. "Right, Um...good afternoon, Sothis."

 _"Ooh! He's so cute and uptight."_ She giggled. _“I just want to pinch his cheeks. Just to see what he would do.”_

"She says hi." Byleth grinned, then sighed. "So, I suppose you're going to ask who the father is?"

"The father... is Prince Dimitri, am I correct?" He smirked.

"How! How do you know that?!" She looked down at herself. "Can you see that too, somehow?"

He laughed and took the seat across from her desk. "Don't be silly. I simply put two and two together." Byleth gestured for him to continue. "Well, one would have to know all the information I know to reach the same conclusion. You fell off the cliff and we searched for you. We found not one trace that would have pointed to you dying. I assumed you'd gone into a healing sleep somewhere, which you confirmed. Knowing that you've been sleeping since then would imply you conceived before you fell. It could not have happened since you returned to us, it would be too soon for the glow to appear. " He crossed his arms. "And I know you and the Prince were together the night before the battle."

"Ok, how did you know _that_?"

"Leonie told us while we were searching."

"Of course, she did." Byleth sighed. She decided she had made the right decision in not telling Leonie about the babies yet.

" _He's good."_ Sothis floated next to Seteth. _"Really, impressively smart."_ She made pinching motions near his face.

Byleth nodded. "Sothis says you're really smart and I agree. Why can't you be Archbishop? I'm sure you'd do a better job than I would."

"I'd love to, but traditionally the Archbishop and any named successor has always been female, ever since Seiros." Seteth said.

"That's because Rhea has been Archbishop the whole time. That doesn’t make it a tradition." Byleth argued.

"To you and I, it doesn't. We know Rhea is Seiros and has always been Archbishop. The people don't know that. Every few decades she retired, and her successor took over for a while until she came back with a new name a few years later. People have incredibly short memories." He explained.

"But the successors knew. How did she keep them quiet?" She asked.

"There have only ever been two. Her previous successor was always Sitri, and now we have you." He chuckled. "Nabateans are matriarchal anyway, but your line is especially so. From Sothis, to Seiros, to Sitri, and now you. I'd be shocked if your child was not a girl." 

She looked up at him and smiled. "A-ha...finally something you don't know." 

He nodded. "There is no way to know for sure, of course, but I'd bet the child is a girl."

"No, I mean you keep saying child...I'm not having _a_ child…I'm having _children_." She held up two fingers. "Two of them."

Seteth clapped his hands together. "Two girls! You mark my words!" He smiled. "Flayn will be beside herself with joy!"

"You seem pretty excited too." Byleth pointed out.

"Well of course. It's been centuries since I've been an uncle!" He beamed.

As it turned out, Seteth was the perfect conspirator and ally in keeping her secret. He mandated that she had to wear her "Archbishop uniform" while in the monastery and gave her a dress of Rhea’s that was fitted around her bust, then billowed out from there in waves. It would hide her belly for months to come. He “caught her” pouring herself a cup of wine at dinner later that night and told her it was unbecoming of the archbishop to drink in public. Over the next week he also ensured that she had important church business to take care of every day after lunch, which is when she usually got fatigued and took naps in her new chambers. Every time she lay on the bed, she was thankful he had talked her into taking the room. He was doting and it was adorable. In some ways it made her miss her father because she knew that he would be waiting on her hand and foot if he were there. It also made her angry at the one person she wanted doting on her. In the two weeks since the reunion Dimitri spent an entire week saying nothing to her except, “go away” and “leave me alone” and a second week not seeing her at all, although that was her choice. She was reaching the end of her patience with Dimitri.

***

It was the second week of the Guardian Moon. The most helpful thing Seteth did for her was to book a two hour morning meeting with her every day and arrive an hour late so she could throw up in peace without worry of interruption, and he always had a cup of peppermint tea waiting on her desk for when she was done. She usually used the chamber pot in her quarters or the privy in her office depending on where she was when it hit her. One morning she was walking from the library to her office and she realized she wasn’t going to make it to either place. She ran into the infirmary, happy that Manuela was never around in the early morning hours and locked herself in the garderobe just off the main room. She was getting better at vomiting quietly and she was certain nobody outside in the hallway would hear her. She opened the door to the garderobe when she was finished, and Manuela was standing on the other side of it. She handed her a glass of water. “Drink that; and then I believe we need to have a little chat, Professor.” 

“What do you mean?” Byleth took a drink of water and tried to calm down. It was entirely possible that Manuela just thought she was sick and didn’t know why. 

“We haven’t talked since you came in for that splinter the day we returned. I almost feel like you’ve been avoiding me.” Manuela eyed her carefully. Byleth avoided making eye contact. “You know, I was wondering why my supply of peppermint tea was being depleted. I only ever use it when people are having stomach trouble, and nobody has complained of that particular ailment since we returned. Any idea what might be happening?”

“That’s strange.” Byleth shrugged and took another sip of water. “Maybe someone really likes peppermint tea?”

“Perhaps…Seteth did ask me for some one day, and I noticed it has been going missing ever since then.” Manuela crossed her arms. “But I’ve spent a lot of time with Seteth in the last five years. We’ve had a lot of tea. His favorites are four-spice and ginger. Completely different flavor profile from peppermint.” 

“That certainly is a mystery.” Byleth took another drink and Manuela took the water glass, which was still half-full, out of her hand and did a spell on it. It started to bubble. Byleth swallowed nervously. “What are you doing, Manuela?”

“I am a physician, dear. I would not be any good at my job if I couldn’t read the symptoms I’ve been seeing in you lately, not to mention the fact that Seteth thinks he is being sneaky stealing my peppermint tea, and you obviously have morning sickness, but I had to be sure.” The water stopped bubbling and Byleth was stunned to see that it was changing in color from clear to a bright blue. Manuela nodded. “I thought so.” She set the glass down on a table and smiled at her. “You’re pregnant. Judging by the color on that, I’d say you’re about six weeks along.”

Byleth slumped onto one of the infirmary beds, lay down, and stared at the ceiling. “Almost exactly six weeks.”

Manuela sat next to her on the bed. “May I ask how you know? Are you late? Did you see another healer or physician before we got here?” 

Byleth shook her head. “Sothis told me before I woke up.” 

Manuela’s eyes widened. “Ah. So, it happened before you fell. And I assume Seteth knows.” Byleth nodded. “That explains why he’s been helping you.” Manuela played with her hair gently. “Have you told the father?” Byleth shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, her chin quivering. “I can understand why. It's His Highness, right?” Manuela asked.

“How does everybody know that!” Byleth hid her face in her hands. 

“Oh Byleth, who else would it be?” Manuela made her sit up and pulled her into a hug. Byleth’s tears began to fall. Manuela tried to calm her down as she cried in heaving sobs. 

“Yes...it’s...the father is Dimitri. I’ve only ever been with Dimitri, it was only the one time, and... he... hates... me!” Manuela rubbed her back and Byleth worked to catch her breath. “Manuela...what am I going to do? I’m pregnant and the father of my children won’t even talk to me. He barely believes where I’ve been, how am I going to convince him that I’m pregnant now from the one time we were together five years ago?! I know it’s the truth and it even sounds crazy to me!” 

Manuela furrowed her brow. “When you say the father of your _children_ …” Byleth held up two fingers and sniffed loudly. “Twins! Good heavens!” She stood up and started looking through her cabinets, pulling a small vial from the back of one, and pouring the contents into a small glass. “There might be a way to tell who the father is. To show someone else, I mean. But I don’t like using that test.” She handed her the glass. “Drink this, it will help you calm down.”

Byleth took a drink and felt a comforting warmth spread through her body. Her breathing evened out. “How? Manuela, if there’s a way I can show him, he’ll have to believe me. What is the test?”

Manuela sighed. “The test can show whether an unborn child bears a crest, and which one. If he had a more common crest, it might not make a difference, but nobody outside the direct Blaiddyd line has ever had that crest to my knowledge. If one or both of your children bear a Blaiddyd crest, it will prove he is the father since he is the only person alive who would be able to pass it on.” Manuela frowned. “The issue is that I don't know the spell required to perform that test. The only reason the test exists is because some nobles use it to see if a child is worth having. Since the technology was invented, many wives of nobles have been forced to terminate their pregnancies because there was not a crest present. I could not, in good conscience, ever administer it. So, I never learned.” 

Byleth’s mouth dropped open. She put her hand on her stomach. She had never met her children, had not even felt them move yet, and she was already attached to them. She could not imagine an expectant mother being told she did not have the option of carrying her children to term simply because they lacked a crest. “That’s horrible. I don’t blame you.”

“We do, however, know someone who does know how to administer the test.” Manuela looked into the hall at the door opposite the infirmary. “Hanneman. But I can tell this isn’t news you want to share yet. You would have to be ok with taking the chance of a Crest of Blaiddyd not appearing and Hanneman still knowing your secret.”

“There is a Crest of Blaiddyd. Two, actually if Sothis was right.” 

_“Of course, I’m right!”_ Sothis said with a huff. 

“You want to do the test?” Manuela asked. Byleth nodded. “Understood. But first, we need to give you a full exam to make sure you and these babies of yours are doing alright. Then we can get Hanneman.” Byleth agreed and Manuela closed the infirmary door so they would not be interrupted. She completed the checkup which included Byleth having to answer a lot of questions that made her blush and a physical examination that mortified her even more. 

“My dear professor, I am the only person at the monastery qualified to deliver these children, you are going to have to get used to me seeing things. Believe me, it isn’t anything I haven’t seen before.” Manuela laughed. Byleth covered her face and held her breath throughout the entire exam. “Go ahead and get dressed. Everything looks good. Actually, the fact that you’ve been so sick is a good sign. It means they are growing strong in there.... Now are you sure that you want to ask for Hanneman’s help?” 

Byleth nodded and Manuela left the infirmary to cross the hall and fetch Hanneman. Manuela had agreed to give him all the details before he came into the room. She was already embarrassed enough; she would not be able to live through having to tell Hanneman she’d had sex with Dimitri and was pregnant. They came in a few minutes later and Hanneman was holding a device that looked like a metal torch. 

“Professor. Manuela tells me congratulations are in order.” Byleth grimaced and lay back down. He grinned. “Don’t worry, this is simple and painless.” Manuela stood on one side of the bed and held her hand. Hanneman stood on the other and activated the torch with a spell so a purplish light came out of one end. He held the lit end to her stomach, and they waited. A few minutes later, two bright golden stars appeared above her belly. Byleth recognized the symbol from the kingdom flag and from seeing Dimitri’s crest activate. It was the Crest of Blaiddyd; two of them. 

“My word!” Hanneman exclaimed. “Two...two major crests! This is unprecedented…one is rare enough...” His face glazed over in wonder. 

“How can you tell if they are major crests?” Byleth asked. 

“Well, this test shows minor crests as a blueish-white light. Major crests show up golden. I believe it has been generations since there has been a child born in the Blaiddyd line with a major crest, much less two!” Hanneman removed the torch and the crests disappeared. He took off his glasses and tapped the stem on his chin. “Major crests do also amplify the benefits and complications to the mother.”

“Benefits and complications?” Byleth asked, sitting up. She crossed her arms, hugging herself. “What complications?”

“We hadn’t gotten into that yet, Hanneman.” Manuela said, squeezing her hand. “Byleth, when an unborn child has a crest, depending on which one it is and what it does, they can either make pregnancy easier or more difficult for the mother in various ways.” 

“And the Crest of Blaiddyd?” Byleth asked.

“Well…” Hanneman started, putting his glasses back on. "You must understand, I have done the majority of my research on crests in Adrestia. I don’t have as much knowledge of the crests that are more prevalent in Faerghus. There tend to be fewer crest bearers in the kingdom altogether, usually only one per family, with one very notable exception of a firstborn with a minor crest, followed by a second-born with a major crest.”

“Fraldarius.” Byleth said. 

Hanneman nodded. “It is my theory that there are less children born with crests in the kingdom because of the types of crests found there. All the different crests can be broken up into two major types. Crests that amplify magic or healing, like Goneril, Cichol or Cethleann tend to make pregnancy easier on the mothers. Delivery is also easier. As a result, they tend to have more children and the crests are passed on more. I believe that is why they are more common. Crests that amplify strength...such as Seiros and Daphnel...they make the mother more resilient to outside influences during the pregnancy, but they are still subject to incredibly powerful kicks and movement from the child itself. It can be uncomfortable and even damage the internal organs. Delivery is generally more difficult and there may be complications afterward, sometimes up to years later. Most of the crests found in the kingdom, Gautier, Charon, Fraldarius...they all amplify strength. I do not believe it is a coincidence that those families are smaller, and generally no children are born after the first bearing a crest. Again, I only know of one such case in the kingdom.” He looked down and pursed his lips. “Of all the crests that amplify strength…”

“No crest amplifies strength more than the crest of Blaiddyd.” Byleth nodded and sighed. “Watching them all as students told me that...What does that mean for me? Carrying twins each with a _major_ crest of Blaiddyd? Dimitri’s is only a minor crest and we’ve seen what he can do.”

“I cannot be completely sure. As I said my knowledge of that particular crest is lacking. His Highness is currently the only living person to carry it, and he was less than forthcoming whenever I tried to ask him questions for my research during his time at the academy. From the little I’ve seen of him these days I do not believe he would be any more helpful now.” Hanneman crossed his arms. “What we need is someone who knows more about his family and crest. Someone you would not mind knowing your secret.”

Byleth sighed. “Felix. Felix would know.’

“Do you suppose Lord Fraldarius would also answer questions about his own family and crest?” Hanneman asked, excitedly. 

“Hanneman, focus please.” Manuela said, rolling her eyes at him. She turned to Byleth. “Do you want to tell him now?”

Byleth nodded. “No time like the present, if you are both free. I think it’s better to know what I will be up against sooner rather than later.” She put her hands on her stomach again. “I won’t be able to keep it a secret much longer. Not from him anyway. He’s entirely too observant.” Byleth stood up. “I’ll go find him.”

“Nonsense. You stay here and rest. I will find him and bring him here.” Hanneman said, with a smile. “You’re going to have to learn to take it easy, professor.”

Hanneman left the infirmary and went to search for Felix in the training grounds, once Byleth told him that’s where he was most likely to be. 

“I don’t know how to take it easy.” Byleth looked at Manuela. “Are there things I can’t or shouldn’t do? Can I still lead the army? We are in the middle of a war; everyone is depending on me!”

“Certainly not from the front lines, no. We will have to see what effects the crests have on you to know if we can safely have you out there at all. They might weaken you, or they might strengthen you." Manuela sighed. "Off the battlefield, you are fine to live your life normally, if carefully. You can even still have sex."

"Manuela!" Byleth lay back down and covered her face. "He won't even talk to me!"

"I'm sure he'll come around." Manuela said with a laugh. "He loves you."

Byleth wasn't so sure that was true anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super big shout out to Nobody who was the only person to guess that Seteth would be the first to know! 
> 
> Sorry for the lack of Dimirti in this chapter, but Byleth is avoiding him so I have to avoid him too. I'll make up for it next chapter, I promise!
> 
> Coming up: We have three people who know, and will soon have a fourth. How long before someone spills the beans (spills the tea?) and everyone knows? 
> 
> Leave me your comments! I love them!


	19. I'm Pregnant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth's secret finds its way to more people. Felix is the hero we need *and* deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have an update before bedtime!

Byleth was laying down and desperately trying to drown out what Manuela was saying. She was not successful.

"...something that affects most pregnant women anyway. Like nature's cruel joke. Carrying a child, two children, that share his crest will only make it worse." Manuela looked at her pityingly.

Byleth shook her head. "So you're telling me that even though he's being an ass to me, I'm still going to want him?"

Manuela smirked at her. "Don't you?"

She really did. Byleth closed her eyes and felt herself blush. Sure, she was avoiding him because she was tired of him giving her the silent treatment and she was running low on patience, but if she was honest with herself, she was also avoiding him because all she wanted to do was touch him. Dimitri growled at her and ignored her and her every instinct was to grab him by his cloak and drag him down to kiss her. She thought that not being around him would help, but she thought about him even more, and the more she thought about him - the more she thought about him naked. 

_“Of course, she wants him, it's all she thinks about!”_ Sothis laughed.

“I’ll take that look on your face as a yes.” Manuela said with a small giggle. 

“Is there anything I can do about it? To make it stop?” Byleth asked.

“Have sex with him?” Manuela shrugged.

“Manuela!”

“Byleth!” Manuela laughed in earnest. “No, there isn’t anything you can do. It’s the result of your hormones going a little crazy right now as the babies grow. The way I see it, you have a few options. You can…” Manuela counted on her fingers. “One: Make up with him and go at it. Two: Not make up with him and go at it anyway, which might be fun but not very smart. Or three: take care of things yourself.” Byleth groaned loudly in frustration and the sound echoed through the room. 

“Oh goddess! What’s wrong with her?!” Byleth heard Leonie’s voice. She lowered her hands from her face and saw Leonie rush to her bedside from the door. Hanneman had returned with Felix, and Leonie was with them.

“Lord Fraldarius was sparring with Leonie in the training grounds. When I mentioned you were in the infirmary, they both demanded to come.” Hanneman explained. “I trust that’s alright?” Byleth nodded. Her secret was doomed. 

“What’s going on?!” Felix yelled. He rounded on Hanneman. “You said she was fine! Why is she lying in an infirmary bed if she’s fine?” He shook his head and moved to stand by Leonie, looking down at Byleth. “I knew it. I knew there was something going on with you! You’ve been acting so weird. You keep avoiding sparring with me.” Felix looked at Manuela. “Is she sick?”

“No, not sick, exactly.” Manuela gestured around. “Pull up a chair, or a bed, just...have a seat.” Leonie sat on the bed next to Byleth, and Felix sat at the foot of the bed. Hanneman brought over a chair. Manuela went to the infirmary doors and closed and locked them before bringing over a chair of her own. She looked at Byleth. “Would you like to do the honors, Professor? Or would you like to be a chicken and have me do it.”

She sat up. “Chicken please.”

“Very well…” Manuela sighed. “Byleth is…”

“Wait! No, I can do it.” Byleth shook her head and took a deep breath. Why was it so hard? She had killed bandits and led battalions. Why was it so difficult to say two words? She couldn’t decide if it would be easier to look at Felix or at Leonie, so she chose to look at her hands. “You guys know that Dimitri and I were _together_ the night before the battle when I fell…” Leonie nodded. Felix grimaced. “...ok...well...the thing is...I’m pregnant. With twins. From that night five years ago.” 

The silence was deafening. She chanced a look at Leonie, whose hands were covering her mouth. Tears were sparkling in her eyes. Byleth looked at Felix. He looked murderously angry but was also obviously trying not to smile. It was Leonie who broke first when she screamed and threw her arms around Byleth. 

“Oh, my goddess! Byleth!” Leonie started to cry and Byleth cried with her. “You’re going to be a mom! I’m going to be an aunt! I love you so much! Your dad would be so happy!”

Felix stood up and hugged her on the other side. He sighed heavily. “Do you want me to kill Dimitri? I can if you want me to.” Byleth shook her head. Felix kissed her temple. “Let me know if you change your mind. I mean you’re carrying new heirs technically; we don’t need his crazy ass anymore.”

“Felix, no.” Leonie swatted at him. 

“Here’s the thing…” Byleth said. “He obviously doesn’t know yet, so until he does, I’d really like to keep this a secret.” She looked at Leonie, raising her eyebrows at her. “No blabbing, Leonie.”

“I’m offended that you would think I would…” They looked at each other. 

“Leonie, how is it that both Felix and Seteth knew I had sex with Dimitri when the only person I told was you?”

“Fair point.” Leonie nodded. “I’ll keep my mouth shut; I swear.”

“Lord Fraldarius, the reason we have asked you here is because you are the one person who might be able to give us the most information about the Blaiddyd family history.” Hanneman said, cleaning his glasses. 

“My father is Lord Fraldarius. Call me Felix.” He moved back to his spot at the end of the bed and nodded. “And yeah, I do know a lot more about his family than I care to. What do you need to know?”

“You are aware that women carrying a child with a crest often have certain benefits and complications associated, depending on the crest?” Hanneman asked. Leonie looked confused. Felix nodded. 

“We need to know everything you know about the Crest of Blaiddyd. Especially if you happen to know anything about what His Highness’ mother might have experienced when she was pregnant.” Hanneman looked at Felix expectantly. 

Manuela opened a blank journal and prepared to take notes. “His Highness only has a minor crest, but it may help to know what issues his mother had so we can prepare for what Byleth might experience carrying two majors of the same crest.”

Felix’s mouth dropped open and the color drained from his face. “Major crests?! Two major crests...of fucking Blaiddyd?” He shook his head. “By…” He reached out and took Byleth’s hand. “One major crest is hard, but two?” He frowned. “I have a major crest. Glenn had a minor crest, and it weakened my mom a lot. But my parents were idiots and they wanted to give him a sibling. When Dimitri’s mom got pregnant with him, they decided it was the perfect time to have me so we could be close in age like my dad and King Lambert were. Stupid…” He bit his bottom lip. “Having me put a lot of stress on my mom. She was never the same. She died when I was five. And my major Fraldarius isn’t even as strong as the boar’s minor Blaiddyd.” He frowned even further. “Now I really want to kill Dimitri.”

“Well…” Manuela nodded sadly. “Normally, I would want to see you once a month at first, but I think we should do weekly appointments so I can monitor you more closely, Byleth. It sounds as if this isn't going to be easy on you.” 

Hanneman cleared his throat. “We have to keep in mind that the mother’s crest can also either countereffect or worsen any complications. We don’t know much about the Crest of Flames at all, but since it gives you extraordinary healing ability, I’d have to guess it would work to help nullify the damaging effects a little. Did your mother have a crest Felix?” Felix shook his head. Hanneman nodded. “I suspected not.”

“This is crazy! You’re saying By is going to have a harder pregnancy all because of this crest nonsense?” Leonie shook her head. “That’s terrible!”

“My mom didn’t have a crest. Could my major crest be why pregnancy was so hard for my mom...why she died in childbirth?” Byleth whispered. She couldn’t breathe. She put her hands on her stomach. “Am I going to die and leave them behind? Leave them alone?” She closed her eyes. “Sothis…”

 _“It is alright my little one. You will be fine. You will not leave them. While everything they say about carrying crested children is true, your crest is one of the ones that will help you. I will help you. You know I will let no harm come to you.”_ Sothis said. 

Byleth nodded. "Sothis says my crest is one of the ones that will help, and that she will also help me."

“It makes sense with what we know about your crest, professor. You can rest assured that your crest did not negatively affect your mother.” Hanneman patted her on the shoulder. “If anything, it probably helped her.”

"Still so fucking weird you talk to the goddess…" Felix said.

"So, Felix. What can you tell us about the Blaiddyd crest." Manuela asked.

"Well, I can tell you she's having boys. There has never been a firstborn female Blaiddyd or a female with the crest at all." Felix said. He looked at Byleth. "I'd say that I hope they take after you, but they're all giant, blond-haired, blue-eyed oafs. Congratulations. Feel free to name one after me."

“If I am not mistaken, I believe that there has never been more than one Blaiddyd crest holder in a single generation. Is that true?" Hanneman asked.

Felix nodded. "Well yeah, crested Blaiddyd kids suck. Assuming you get through the terrible pregnancy part, they don't sleep, you have to remind them to eat, and they're always breaking shit. Why would anyone want a second one? " He sighed. "Look, I wish I could be more help. I can tell you all about what the boar was like as a kid, but I don't know much about his real mom. I know someone who does though." They all looked at him. "My dad. He was King Lambert's best friend, and their wives were pregnant at the same time. I'm sure he could tell you some things."

"Byleth, do you mind if Felix writes to his father and asks for information. I'm sure he'd have to explain why he's asking." Manuela asked.

Byleth shrugged. "That's fine. By the time the letter gets to him, I'm sure Leonie will have told the entire monastery and anyone in the village."

"Rude!" Leonie tapped on Byleth’s stomach. "Do you hear that in there? Can you hear how mean your mom is to your future godmother?" 

"Dibs on godfather." Felix said. “You and Raphael can have one and me and Bernie will take the other one.”

Byleth smiled. She was happy she had people on her side who loved her, even if one of them was a ticking time bomb. A week was long enough. She needed to stop avoiding Dimitri. She had to make enough progress that she could tell him before he heard it from someone else.

***

A week had passed since Dimitri last saw Byleth. It was almost worse than the five years he thought she was dead. That she was there in the monastery and was purposely avoiding him hurt more than he was willing to admit. 

“ _This is what you wanted, Your Highness. You told her to leave you alone.”_ Dedue said in the depths of Dimitri’s mind. 

Dedue rarely spoke to him, but when he did, he was usually right. Byleth was avoiding him because he had repeatedly yelled at her to go away. Now he was upset that she had listened to him. He was pathetic. He had told her that the lovesick fool he used to be was dead, yet every time he saw her, the heart he said he did not have any more raced in his chest. An unwelcome reminder that he was, in fact, still alive and still hopelessly in love with her. 

The first day she did not come to see him, it was Ashe who brought him food. He thought maybe she was just busy, but she did not come the following day or the next. He had taken for granted that she had always come back to him before. Every day someone else came and dropped food off for him. It was humiliating. Some of them tried to speak to him. Most did not. Felix came most often and was also the only one who spoke to him regularly. He could always count on Felix to argue with him instead of coddling him. Felix never tried to get him to change back to who he used to be. Nobody else understood that the Dimitri they thought they knew at the academy never really existed. The monster, the boar, is who he had been underneath his charming facade all along. Felix had known what Dimitri really was since the first time he saw it. As much as he hated to admit it, he looked forward to Felix arriving with his meals. He was usually not hungry, but he was frustrated about Byleth’s continued absence and almost always itching for a fight. Since he was being held back from Enbarr and his revenge, arguing with Felix would have to suffice. 

He heard Felix’s quick footfalls enter the cathedral and the sound of him throwing the plate down on the pew. He sounded angry. Dimitri smirked. An angry Felix was the perfect thing he needed in his current mood. Felix would be able to raise his ire and make him forget about his ridiculous emotional responses to a woman who did not care about him anymore. He needed to focus on his real purpose. His vengeance. The retribution his father screamed about in every waking moment that was not filled with thoughts of Byleth, when Glenn would mock him for his fantasies of her. 

“Boar!” Felix shouted at him and shoved his right shoulder, catching Dimitri off guard. “You need to eat your dinner, take a bath, and get your head out of your ass!”

“You do not command me.” Dimitri growled, not looking at him. He expected an argument. He did not expect a mandate. “I heed no orders but my own.”

“Tell that to your ghosts.” Felix scoffed. “Or is that the answer, boar? Do I have to die to get you to listen to me?” 

“As usual, you know not of which you speak.” Dimitri said. “Leave now. I am finished with this conversation.”

“You may be finished with this conversation, but I’m not finished with you.” Felix shoved him again. “You need to start taking care of yourself, you aren’t an invalid or a child! You’re going to be a fa-...a fucking king and we shouldn’t have to bring you food to keep you from starving. Nobody needs to smell your stinky ass because you refuse to take care of your most basic needs! When was the last time you took a bath? Hell, when was the last time you even took your armor off? You’re disgusting! I’m the only one who can bear to come in here anymore and even I’m starting to reach my limit.”

Dimitri frowned. It was true that he had not been taking care of himself. When he was on the run, he did not have the luxury of carrying much with him. He managed to take a few changes of clothes from soldiers or bandits he disposed of, but it had been a long time since he had bothered to change. He doubted his level of cleanliness had anything to do with Byleth rejecting him, but what if it did? He looked down at himself. His cloak and armor still had dried blood from the battle against the thieves on it. It had been weeks since he had paid even the slightest attention to his own care. He felt shame join the ever-present anger in his soul. “I will take it into consideration. Are you finished?”

“No.” Felix pushed him a third time. “Turn around and look at me, you asshole! This is important!”

Dimitri scoffed and looked down at Felix, who was looking up at him with scorn. For being so much shorter than he was, Dimitri found Felix was impossible to intimidate. “I don’t care if you starve. I don’t care if you stink. I don’t care if you want to wallow in your depression and your filth until you rot...having a King to follow has never mattered to me.” Felix fixed him with such an intense stare that it almost made him take a step back. “But Byleth matters to me. And you matter to her.” Dimitri’s eye widened in surprise. “I say this to you as her friend and as someone who used to be yours. Get. Your. Head. Out. Of. Your. Ass. Stop treating her like shit. She deserves better than that.”

Dimitri crossed his arms and looked away from Felix. “Then she should find someone else. I cannot be what she wants.” He shook his head. “I have been through too much, I have seen and done too much to go back to who I used to be.”

Felix nodded. “Nobody is asking you to do that. It’s true; she doesn’t know half of what you’ve been through, and trust me, you have no idea what she is going through. That will never change unless you talk to her, like a human not an animal. She loves you. You obviously love her. This whole thing is ridiculous!”

“She may have loved me once, but I can tell she no longer does.” Dimirti looked down at the ground. “She cannot even stand to be near me anymore. I have not seen her in a week. She has given up on me and rightfully so.”

“Can you blame her? She thinks you hate her!” Felix shook his head. “If you still love her, fight for her; get her back. Again, and I can’t repeat this enough, stop being an ass!”

“Since when are you such a romantic?” Dimitri asked sarcastically.

“I’m not.” Felix said. “I may not need a King to follow but there are plenty of others who do. Those same people need her leadership of this church and this army. If the two of you don’t fix this stupid shit, we are going to lose this war.” Dimitri looked back at him. “We will lose. We will all die. And you will never get to see your precious vengeance…. So fix it.” Felix turned and began the walk out of the cathedral before turning back to face Dimitri again. “One more thing...stop with the sarcasm. It doesn’t sound right coming from you.” 

Dimitri watched Felix walk out and fade into the distance. 

_“None of this matters! You do not need to smell like a rose to cleave that woman’s head from her shoulders!”_ His father screamed.

 _“What does Felix know about love? Why would you listen to him anyway? He hates you. Why would he try to help you win Byleth back when he could easily have her for himself?”_ Glenn jeered. 

_“On the other hand, it might be worth a try, Your Highness.”_ Dedue said. 

He looked at the plate on the pew with food haphazardly strewn on it. He looked down at his grungy attire and ran his hands through his neglected hair. More often than not, Dedue was right. It could be that nothing would come of it, but he could try. Dimitri picked up the knapsack that contained his extra clothes and made his way to the bathhouse, hoping that it was late enough that he would find it empty.

***

Byleth took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. Her vision swam and the piles of correspondence, requisitions, and work orders on her desk blurred together. She took a deep breath. No nausea, which meant it was work related and not pregnancy related. 

“Eisner!” Felix walked into her office, knocking on the doorframe as a formality. “What’s going on? You look stressed.”

“I am stressed.” She put her glasses back on. “What can I do for you Felix?”

“Nothing. I’m doing something for you.” Felix plopped down in the chair in front of her desk. “I had a little talk with the boar last night when I took him his dinner…”

Byleth’s eyes widened. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“Who am I, Leonie?” Felix laughed. “No, I didn’t tell him. But I did tell him a few other things. It might have even worked. When I took him his breakfast this morning he looked a lot better. Smelled better too.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Byleth crossed her arms. She made sure to keep her face neutral, but it was hard to deny that him taking steps to take care of himself was a good sign.

“Don’t act like you don’t care. If you want to be able to tell him about your newest recruits…” Felix pointed at her stomach. “...your first step is getting to the point where the two of you can talk without fighting. I think he might be ready to talk.” 

“So, you’re saying I should go talk to him?” Byleth rolled her eyes. “Gee, why didn’t I think of that?”

“No. I’m saying you go in there and you don’t talk to him.” Felix crossed his arms and smiled. “By, I’ve said this to you before...you’re a cat. When a cat loves you, they stay nearby. They don’t always come up to you, but they maintain proximity. If a cat stays away, they don’t care about you or they’re afraid of you. The boar may not understand the cat metaphor, but he understands your behavior. He was used to you being there and then suddenly you were gone. He thinks you’ve given up on him.”

“How do you know that?” Byleth’s hand went to her stomach. She wanted to give him time to get used to her being back, she didn’t want him to think she had given up on him. 

“He told me, obviously. I’m not a mind reader.” Felix scoffed. “So... what you do is you grab some of this bullshit…” He indicated the paperwork on her desk. “...you get enough food to share, and you get yourself a change of scenery. You can read this crap in the cathedral as easily as you can here. And then you sit there, in cat-like proximity, and you wait for him to talk to you. Trust me, he will.” 

Byleth bit her lip and nodded. Felix helped her to gather her work into a pile and they walked to the kitchens. She packed a small basket with food and Felix carried it into the cathedral. Dimitri turned to see who had entered. Seeing Byleth with Felix he raised an eyebrow. Byleth settled into a pew and dropped her stack of papers. Felix handed her the basket and nodded to Dimitri in greeting. 

“Are you all set?” Felix asked. 

She nodded and took a deep breath, trying not to stare at Dimitri. “Thanks, Felix.”

“Yeah, yeah…” He waved off her thanks and left the two of them alone in the cathedral. 

Byleth took another series of deep breaths. She could feel Dimitri’s gaze on her as she picked up the paper on the top of her stack. It was an estimate of costs from a stonemason and a glassmaker for how much it would be to repair the fallen section of the cathedral roof and ceiling. She sighed and looked up at it. Lysithea and Linhardt had found a variation of the blizzard spell that made a solid sheet of ice and had used it to patch the hole temporarily. It would work for now, but a more permanent solution would be needed before the weather turned warmer. Spring was a few months away, so it wasn’t an immediate need. She put it on the floor in her “later” pile and picked up the next page. It was a letter from a merchant about returning to the marketplace. It would definitely help with their meager food supplies if they had someone with merchant connections. She would need to respond right away. She put it in her “now” pile. 

“What are you doing?” She looked up. Dimitri was staring at her. 

“I’m working.” She shrugged. “Felix said I looked stressed out and needed a change of scenery, so here I am, changing scenery.” She shook her head. “It isn’t making it any easier, but it is nice to get out of my office. I feel like I've been living there this past week.”

“You have an office?” Dimitri asked, looking confused. 

She nodded. “I guess maybe you haven’t heard. I’m officially the acting Archbishop now.”

“That explains the outfit.” He looked surprised. “I do not think I have ever seen you wear white...It suits you.” 

“I’m starting to get used to it.” She nodded and motioned to the paperwork around her. “But I’m not used to this. I never knew just how much minutiae is involved in keeping a place like this running, much less how to repair and get it back to where it’s running at all.” She laughed at herself. “I thought it was all taking meetings and performing ceremonies. I may not be cut out for this.”

“I am sure you can do anything you put your mind to.” He said, looking back at the altar. His voice softer than she’d heard it since she woke up. 

A small smile played on her lips as she looked at the side of his face. “I guess we’ll see.” She picked up a letter from a minor lord in the alliance containing a marriage proposal and immediately put it in the “no” pile and smiled more widely. Dimitri was talking to her. It made her feel warm despite the chill in the air. Byleth opened the food basket, took out a sandwich and took a bite. She saw that he was staring at her again, in her peripheral vision. She swallowed. “Would you like one?”

“Oh...no, thank you.” He answered, looking away. His face was red. 

“Well, I have plenty if you get hungry later.” She didn’t push. Felix told her to keep it light. She didn’t need to pressure him into connecting with her. She just had to be there. They spent the next hour in each other’s quiet company, the only sound being the shuffling of her paperwork, or Dimitri mumbling something to himself. Or to his ghosts, she supposed. Occasionally, she would look up at him. Many times, she’d caught him looking at her. She’d smile at him and then go back to her work. More than once she looked back up immediately and caught him blushing. It reminded her of her days as his professor when he would sit in the front row of her class, blushing to his ears and staring at her with a gaze so heavy she could’ve drowned in it. That he still looked at her that way gave her hope. 

She yawned. She had managed to sort almost everything. Her three piles on the floor had grown and she had more things than she wanted to deal with in her “now” pile. She wondered how many of them she could get Seteth to do. She yawned again and her eyes felt heavy. It was about the time she would normally go to her quarters for “important church business” and take a nap, but she didn’t want to leave just yet. She changed position and put her legs on the pew since most of her things were on the floor. She tried to read the report they had managed to obtain about House Gloucester's dealings with the Empire, but it was long and boring. Why did they need five pages to say that Lorenz was an asshole and working with the Empire? She realized she’d read the same sentence three times. She put her glasses on top of her head and thought maybe she would close her eyes for a few seconds before getting back to work. 

She opened her eyes sometime later and found herself lying on the pew covered by a furry blanket. She put her glasses on and realized the fuzzy blanket was Dimitri’s cloak. She sat up a bit and saw that he did not appear to have moved, except that she had proof that he had. She snuggled into the fur of the cloak and even though it had been freshly cleaned, she could still faintly smell him. It took her back to the nights they slept in her bed together before the invasion, when she slept curled up in his arms and woke him with kisses. She felt a warmth course through her and settle between her legs. She bit her bottom lip. Manuela was right. She still yearned for him, like a flower thirsted for water. She sat up and looked around and saw that her piles had been carefully moved to the pew behind her. The light was waning, and she knew she had been asleep for much longer than she intended. 

She swung her feet off the pew and stood, wrapping the cloak around her. He seemed to notice she was moving and watched her approach him. 

“You made a big mistake.” She said. He looked confused. She shook her head. “You’re never getting this cloak back. It’s mine now.”

He smirked but turned serious quickly. “You slept a long time. I have never known you to sleep in the afternoon. Are you sick?”

She shook her head. It was the perfect opening. She could tell him. I’m pregnant. Two words. I’m pregnant. All she had to do was say it and he would know, and she could deal with whatever happened after that. She opened her mouth. “I’m…” She hesitated. “I’m...tired.” He nodded. One day of him being kind to her wasn’t enough. She couldn’t trust how he’d react. It was too soon. It didn’t matter if she was ready, he clearly wasn’t. She sighed, unwrapped the cloak from her shoulders and handed it to him. Her eyes started to water. She blinked and willed herself not to cry. “Thank you for letting me borrow it.” 

He reached out to take it. “What is wrong?” She knew he could see that she was holding back tears. “Byleth?” 

She shook her head. “Nothing. I’m just...” Pregnant. Alone. Scared. “just...overwhelmed with things right now. But I’ll be fine.” She turned and stacked up her piles. She pointed to the food basket. “You can have the rest of that if you want it.” 

“Byleth…” He said, as she turned away from him to hide the tears that were starting to fall. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Dimitri.” She kept her voice level and made herself walk out instead of running out like she wanted to. It was a start, but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t tell him yet. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost named this chapter Felix to the Rescue, but honestly so many of the past chapters (and future chapters) could probably be called that. What can I say...I love Felix. 
> 
> Coming up: The cat is out of the bag! But who lets it out? So far, most people think it will be Leonie and who knows, you may be right!
> 
> Comments always appreciated! Oh, who am I kidding? Comments loved and adored!!


	20. The Cat is Out of the Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone spills the beans. The cat is let out of the bag. Petra struggles with idioms and Dimirti sees a doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Almost everyone finds out in this chapter. Almost... Everyone enjoy!

Over the next two weeks Byleth’s life settled into a predictable routine. Her mornings were filled with being sick, meeting with Seteth, and making decisions she did not feel qualified to make. She was no closer to feeling comfortable about telling Dimitri about the babies and she was running out of time before she really started to show or her secret got out. After the day she fell asleep in the cathedral, she started taking Dimitri lunch every day again. She would sit and read in the cathedral until she got sleepy then leave to take a nap until Seteth came to get her for the afternoon war meetings. Sometimes Dimitri would talk to her, others they were silent the whole time. Occasionally, he was in a dark mood and they would argue. It was as if for every step they took forward, they took two steps back. Not rushing to attack Enbarr was the main sticking point in their disagreements. She invited him to the war meetings so he could know what was happening and why it was smarter to wait, but he refused to attend. Felix attended as the kingdom representative in his stead. With Ferdinand representing Adrestia and Hilda representing the Alliance, it was not lost on Byleth that none of the original house leaders were present. 

The day of her eight-week exam arrived. Manuela insisted on only one person accompanying her to her appointments, so Felix and Leonie usually competed over who would get to go with her. That morning Leonie won the sparring session they used to determine the winner. After breakfast, Leonie and Byleth walked to the infirmary and Leonie held her hand as Manuela performed a new spell over her abdomen, which was starting to get obviously rounder. 

“Look how cute your little bump is getting!” Leonie pointed. “There’s babies in there!”

Byleth grinned. It was easy to be excited around Leonie. She didn't focus on the fact that the children’s father was unstable, or that their crests were going to make her miserable. She was simply happy for her. It was refreshing. She knew that Leonie was probably worried underneath it all, but she never showed it around her. When Byleth was overwhelmed by and nervous about everything, Leonie was her calming port in the storm. Not only that, but she had managed to go two weeks without letting the secret slip. She hadn’t even told Raphael. Between Seteth’s doting, Leonie’s emotional support, and Felix’s intervention when it came to Dimitri, Byleth was almost confident she would make it through the rest of her pregnancy in one piece.

All of a sudden, the room was filled with a whooshing sound. It was a steady thumping rhythm, which was joined by a second contrasting rhythm. Byleth looked around. She didn't see where the sound could be coming from. Manuela was smiling and directed Byleth’s attention to her bump. The spell was like a cloud hanging over her abdomen and she could clearly see that it was pulsing in two different parts in time with the whooshing sounds.

"What is that?" Byleth asked her.

"What you are hearing...and seeing, is two very strong heartbeats."

Heartbeats. She didn't know why she was surprised, but it did not occur to her that her children would have heartbeats when she didn't. Byleth was full of love for her babies already and hearing them only made her love them more. Leonie squeezed her hand as tears filled her eyes. She looked down at their intertwined hands and couldn’t help but wish that Dimitri was there with her for this. But he wasn’t. And she wasn’t going to let his absence ruin the moment for her. She squeezed Leonie’s hand back and they sat and listened for a few moments more before Manuela ended the spell and the whooshing stopped. 

“Everything looks good. So far, you don’t seem to be experiencing any ill effects that are out of the ordinary.” Manuela pursed her lips. “I have to guess that either your crest is strong enough to completely counteract the babies’ crests, or whatever the effects are, we haven’t seen them yet. Have we heard back from Lord Fraldarius?”

“No, Felix said he’d tell us right away if he did.” Leonie said. 

Manuela nodded. “And no progress on telling His Highness, I presume?” Byleth shook her head. “It would be helpful to pick his brain as well if he is willing to talk once he knows.”

 _“He might have been here now if you had told him. How many conversations have you had now where he seemed stable? You have had the opportunity. Why are you still holding back?”_ Sothis scolded her. 

“I’m just...I’m too scared to tell him.” Byleth said to both Sothis and Manuela. Leonie squeezed her hand. 

"I know what you need!" Leonie said, breaking the tense silence that followed Byleth’s declaration. “Other than a big dose of courage, of course.” Byleth cocked her head at Leonie. “You need lunch and a slice of pie! Mercedes was making some earlier, I bet there is plenty left.”

Byleth smiled. Pie sounded amazing. “But I have to take lunch to Dimitri…”

“Allow me to do that for you, professor. I’d like a chance to look in on him anyway.” Manuela snapped her notebook shut. “For now, I prescribe that you have pie and get a small break from His Royal Fussiness. You can always take him dinner.”

“This is going to sound really strange, but do you think Mercedes would mind if I topped her pie with tomatoes?” Byleth asked. 

“Your cravings have gotten very specific and kind of gross.” Leonie grimaced. “I don’t think she’d mind but if you don’t want anyone to ask questions we don’t want to answer, I would recommend eating them separately.”

They all walked to the dining hall together where Byleth grabbed a helping of Daphnel Stew with a side of sliced tomatoes and a piece of Mercedes’ delicious peach pie. She also packed a food basket for Dimitri and sent Manuela on her way with instructions to tell Dimitri she would be by after the war meeting, which he was welcome to attend. 

***

Dimitri heard the clicking of heels on the stone floor of the cathedral and knew that Byleth was not coming to bring him food that day. He frowned, wondering why. What had he done to drive her away again?

“ _You mean, other than yell and argue with her?”_ Glenn asked. “ _Perhaps she has finally tired of you.”_

 _“It is all well and good if she has! Then you can stop this nonsense about a united army with the Church and Alliance and go to Enbarr and take that woman’s head. All she is doing is holding you back from what you need to do!”_ His father yelled at him. 

“No, no I promised her I would stay.” Dimitri grumbled. 

“What was that Your Highness?” Manuela said, setting the basket down. “Who are you talking to?”

Dimitri turned to see the physician eyeing him with open curiosity. That was the last thing he needed, the resident doctor thinking he was crazy. 

“Nothing, no one…” He said, looking away from her. “Where is Byleth?”

Manuela hummed. “I am happy to see you are concerned about her whereabouts. She had an important meeting to attend to and sent me in her place. She said she will be by after the war meeting, unless you would like to attend it, in which case you are more than welcome.”

“Those meetings are a waste of time.” Dimitri shook his head. “And I am not concerned about her whereabouts. I was just...expecting her.”

“Well…” Manuela stepped up to him and crossed her arms. “I volunteered to take her place. I was hoping you would come see me in the infirmary, but that hasn’t happened so far. According to what I’ve heard, you’ve had a rough go of it since I last saw you. I’d like to check you out. We need to make sure you are fit enough to fight before we send you out there again.”

“I do not need healing.” Dimitri growled. “My crest helps me to cope. I am fine.”

Manuela chuckled. “I may not have Professor Hanneman’s level of knowledge, but even I know that the Crest of Blaiddyd doesn’t speed up healing. If you are relying on your crest’s benefits to help you after injuries then what you are doing is using your stamina to help you push on despite the damage, not healing the damage itself. If you do that too much, no matter how strong you are, your body will break down. You need to allow yourself to heal.”

Dimitri clenched his jaw. “My health is none of your concern.”

“If only that were true.” Manuela sighed. “Believe it or not, I am actually quite invested in making sure you are healthy.... We wouldn’t have to tell anyone. You wouldn’t even have to go to the infirmary, we can do the exam here.” Dimitri did not respond but his eye widened. “I won’t even make you undress as long as you remove your armor…” Dimitri crossed his arms. “Humor me… and I’ll leave you alone for at least six months unless you sustain any injuries.”

Dimitri sighed. He was beginning to tire of the strong-willed women he was surrounded by. “Fine.” He said. 

“Excellent...take off your cloak and armor and have a seat please.” Manuela motioned to a pew. 

Manuela asked him a lot of questions. Some he did not answer. Most he replied to with only a grunt or a shake or nod of his head. She made him lift his shirt and healed the myriad of wounds and scratches she found on his chest, including the stab wound Byleth healed the day she arrived. 

“You’re lucky none of these have gotten infected the way you’ve been ignoring them. Although this one has been recently healed…” Manuela looked up at him. “Byleth?” He nodded. “All done here...may I see your back?”

“No.”

“Your Highness, please.” Manuela said. “I saw it once before, when you were a student here. I know you don’t like people looking at it…”

“It is worse now.” Dimitri said flatly. She asked again. He did not care enough to stop her. “Do what you will.” He pulled his shirt over his head and winced at her gasp. 

“Oh...Your Highness.” Her voice broke. “I am so so sorry.” He hung his head. Dedue’s friends had healed him the best they could, but without magic it was slow going and not very effective. They only managed one day of healing before he was on the run again. “I don’t think there is anything we can do about the scarring, but I can at least try to provide you some comfort.” She ran her healing magic along his back as Byleth had so many years ago. It was a relief. His back always felt hot, even in the dead of winter, and the magic was cooling and comforting, but he wished it were Byleth healing him instead of Manuela. Manuela’s magic was stronger than Byleth’s, but it felt different. He realized it was because Manuela wasn’t touching him. The times Byleth had healed him, she made physical contact. He could feel Byleth’s love whenever she healed him. He was a fool. He knew all he had to do was ask her and Byleth would heal him at a moment’s notice. His cursed pride would not let him ask it of her. 

“I can see the scars continue down past your waist. If you are uncomfortable showing me, I can heal through your trousers…” 

Dimitri shook his head. “That is not necessary. There was some damage further down, but the brunt was on my back.”

“Very well…” She moved from behind him to stand in front of him. She put her hand on his chin and raised his face up towards her. “I don’t suppose you will let me see what’s underneath the eyepatch?”

“No.” Dimitri moved his face away from her. “There is nothing underneath the eyepatch. Nothing but scars.” 

Manuela nodded, taking a seat next to him. “Your Highness...this may seem like a sensitive question, but...how have you been dealing with all of this? How do you feel?”

Dimitri blanched. “How do you think I feel?”

“Well, in soldiers I have seen with similar types of injuries and in situations where they lived through horrific events and trauma…” Manuela crossed her arms and looked into his eye. “I would expect you to be experiencing depression, anger, guilt, a large amount of fear and anxiety…” She reached out to hold one of his hands. He tried halfheartedly to pull away, but she held firm. “I have known some cases where people were driven to the brink of madness. Driven to hurt others or to hurt themselves...in rare cases people heard things and saw things that were not really there...” 

Dimitri looked down but said nothing. He did not expect that she would actually try to guess how he was feeling, much less guess correctly. Manuela was describing almost exactly how he felt, but he could not admit that to her. Felix had told him that his ghosts weren’t real. That the voices in his head belonged to nobody but himself. Could he have been right, or were the ghosts that haunted him real?

“ _Of course we are real.”_ His father hissed in his ear. Dimitri winced. 

“When you are ready to talk, you know where to find me.” Manuela patted and released his hand. “Think about what I have said. Therapy...talking, it will help you. Sleeping will also do wonders. I can give you herbs that will help you sleep if you need them. You do not have to worry about discretion, I will tell no one. I do not talk about any of my patients with other patients. No matter how much I’d like to sometimes…”

She left him, reminding him of the food in the basket and telling him to try to get at least a little bit of sleep each night. He doubted he would ever go see her. If he was fated to be a mad king that died on the battlefield, he would let fate play out. He had nothing else to live for but his revenge and nothing to look forward to except his own demise. No amount of therapy would change that.

***

Raphael, Felix, and Bernadetta joined Byleth and Leonie for lunch. Byleth made sure to keep her pie and tomatoes separate.

"Would you like to join us for our knitting circle after lunch, Professor?" Bernadetta asked.

Byleth raised an eyebrow. "Knitting?"

"Yes. Annette and I have been teaching Ashe, Ignatz, and Shamir. It helps keep our fingers dexterous for quick arrow work. Even Felix joins us some days.”

"It works. My fingers definitely feel nimbler." Felix said.

“That’s what Bernie said.” Leonie laughed into her cup. Raphael chuckled.

"You knit, Felix? The bow isn't even your primary weapon." Byleth smiled. "I'd love to join if only to watch you knit."

"Leonie goes too sometimes." Felix scoffed.

“I’ve been knitting and sewing for years, that’s not news to Byleth.” Leonie said, reaching over to hold Raphael’s hand. “What about you babe? Want to come knit with us? I can teach you to make some gloves for Maya.”

Raphael agreed and they all finished eating and made their way to the grassy area in front of the old classrooms where the others were sitting and waiting. 

“Professor!” Annette called out to her. “I’m so happy to see you are joining us!”

They all settled in with their needles and yarn. Annette sat next to Byleth and showed her how to make a basic chain so she could build from there. “We’ll start you with crochet first, professor. It’s a little easier for beginners. You only need the one needle and it’s easier to fix if you mess up!”

“What are we all making?” Byleth looked around to see that everyone was working on projects of different sizes. 

“We’re making blankets, mostly.” Shamir said. “It’s cold here and the looters took a lot of the bedding in most rooms.”

Ashe held up a large blanket he was working on. “This one is almost done! But don’t be discouraged if yours is smaller, Annette has been teaching me for years and I knit pretty fast now.”

Byleth felt at peace surrounded by the sounds of nature, clicking needles, and friends chatting. She watched as a curious black cat stalked Bernadetta’s yarn skein and pounced on it, pulling out the last few rows of stitches she had done. 

“Midnight, no!” She and Felix worked to disentangle the cat from the yarn it had playfully rolled itself up in. “You silly thing! Look how small my blanket is now!” Bernadetta held up her much smaller blanket. Felix held the cat in his lap and pet it. He leaned over and kissed Bernadetta on the cheek.

“It’s ok, Bernie. You can just make it into a baby blanket for Byleth. You have at least seven or eight more months to make a bunch of small ones.” He laughed. A silence fell over the circle as Byleth stared at Felix and everyone else stared at her. “Oh shit…” Felix winced. “Sorry, By.”

“Felix…” Byleth whispered, dropping her needle, and cradling her head in her hands.

“Baby blankets?” Ashe shook his head. “You don’t mean.” He smiled widely and covered his mouth.

“You’re having a baby?!” Annette shouted. “That’s amazing!”

“Two babies!” Leonie announced. 

“Leonie…” Byleth said. “Really?”

“What? All I did was answer a follow up question, I didn’t tell the secret! If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at Felix.” Leonie said, defending herself. It was true. If Byleth had placed a bet on who would have been the one to tell someone she was pregnant, her money would have been on Leonie, not Felix. “For once, it wasn’t me! I feel so vindicated!”

“You knew and you didn’t tell me?” Raphael pouted at his wife.

Leonie shrugged. "She told me not to. I may be a blabbermouth, but not when it's something important."

“I swore them to secrecy, like I am swearing all of you to secrecy now. Nobody else can know before I tell the father.” They all agreed a little too quickly for her liking. She considered using a divine pulse to change the subject or stop the cat from attacking Bernie’s yarn, but thought better of it.

“So... who’s the lucky guy?” Ignatz asked. 

“Well, it’s His Highness, obviously...right?” Annette looked at Byleth for confirmation. “Or...wait. He isn’t even talking to anyone right now.”

“Apparently, that’s a turn on for some people.” Shamir laughed.

Byleth sighed. “Ok...yes, Dimitri is the father. But it’s a long story and I don’t want to explain it, so... please don’t make me.”

Everyone mostly left her alone about it after that, returning to the safe topic of knitting versus crocheting and which was the better technique for blanket making, and which was best for keeping their fingers nimble. On the outside she was engrossed in the conversation. On the inside, she was freaking out. In the span of two weeks, she had gone from only Seteth knowing, to five people knowing, to now eleven people. It was snowballing out of control. Each time the bubble of people who found out got bigger, it more than doubled. Everyone would know soon enough. She had to tell Dimitri before even one more person found out. She had to tell him today.

Through the rest of the knitting and most of the war meeting that followed, Byleth thought of nothing except what she should say when she told him and how he would react. Then she got news at the war meeting that changed her plans. The Empire was sending troops in their direction, and they were being led by Caspar’s uncle Randolph. She had fully planned on going to see Dimitri after the meeting and telling him she was pregnant, but he had to be told the news about the Imperial troops arriving in a week, and he would not be happy. Their conversation would end in a fight. She was a coward and decided to let Felix take him dinner and give him the report instead. 

***

Unknown to Byleth, while she and Ferdinand, Hilda, and Felix were at the war meeting, Annette was organizing a celebration dinner. Walking into the dining hall was a bit of a surprise when Byleth saw that just about everyone was present and sitting at one long table. Dimitri was missing, of course, and Ferdinand and Sylvain were on stable duty and would be by later. Felix went to take Dimitri food and said he would be back. 

“What are we celebrating, Annette? You didn’t say.” Hilda asked her. 

“Oh...um...just all of us being here together.” Annette answered. “You know, we haven’t all eaten together since the reunion a month ago.” She winked at Byleth, who hoped that nobody had noticed. 

She was starving. She piled food on her plate and sat between Hilda and Leonie making sure to sit on the opposite end of the table from Mercedes, who was looking at her strangely as usual. 

“Hey, professor!” Caspar shouted at her from the other side of Hilda. “I think you might be under training. I never see you in the training grounds anymore.”

“Of course, she doesn’t have time to train as much, she’s leading the church now. She’s busy.” Leonie said. 

“That is true. My brother keeps her very busy these days.” Flayn said.

“Um...I’m sure she’s also trying to build her strength up after her long sleep.” Ashe said. Byleth was thankful for him trying to steer the conversation another direction.

“I’d love to pick your brain about that sometime, professor.” Linhardt said. “It would be interesting to see how the stasis affected your muscular tone and stamina.” 

Ignatz shook his head. “From what I understand, time didn’t pass for her, so I don’t think she has really changed at all physically. Is that right, professor?” Byleth nodded. 

Mercedes narrowed her eyes. “I’m not sure if that’s true…” Byleth looked up and locked eyes with Mercedes. “I can’t put my finger on it, but you seem...different.” 

Byleth looked away. “I’m not sure why that would be. I don’t feel any different.” 

“Well your appetite certainly hasn’t changed. I’ll never understand how you can eat like you do and not gain any weight…” Hilda looked at her more closely. “Although...maybe you have a little.”

“Hilda! Don’t be rude.” Leonie said on her other side. 

“No, I don’t think you have. You just look so different out of your normal top and shorts.” Dorothea said. “I think it’s just the cut of the dress that makes it seem like you look bigger since it’s so loose and wavy. But it makes your boobs look great!” 

“It does! It’s a beautiful dress. I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude.” Hilda blushed. “You have to admit you do eat a lot though.”

“That is not new, Hilda.” Petra said. “When we were in academy our professor would eat many lunches with all of us. More than one each day.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy appetite.” Ingrid said. 

“That’s right!” Raphael said. “You gotta keep your muscles fed.”

“Plus, she’s eating for two now...no wait, three!” Annette said. She gasped, realizing what she said and slapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh, goddess! I’m sorry!” Annette threw herself onto Ashe’s shoulder. There were varying levels of shock on the faces of everyone at the table as they all looked from Annette to Byleth. 

“Is it a redhead thing? The inability to keep secrets?” Byleth asked, looking up at the ceiling as the table broke out in excited chatter around her. “Are Ferdinand and Sylvain really bad at keeping secrets too? It’s a good thing they had stable duty and aren’t here yet.”

At that moment Felix came back and dropped off some sweet buns for Byleth before sitting in the seat Bernadetta had been saving for him. “So, did I miss anything interesting while I was wrangling the boar? What’s everyone so excited about?” He asked.

“Annette spilled the beans.” Leonie said. 

“Leave it to Annette.” Felix smirked.

“I know Annette is tending to be clumsy, but I do not recall seeing beans in the kitchen, where were they spilled?” Petra said. “I can help to clean up.”

“Oh, Petra.” Annette giggled. “It’s just an expression. It means I told her secret.”

“Is eating for two or three also an expression? I do not have understanding what is meant by that. Is it meaning eating two or three meals at one time?”

“It means she’s pregnant…” Catherine said. “But...how? I mean, I know how, but...seriously, how? When?”

Byleth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt arms around her and then a calming feeling came over her. She opened her eyes to see Mercedes hugging her from behind. 

“That’s what it was!” Mercedes said with a giggle. “I knew there was something off about your energy, and it’s because I was getting the babies’ energy too.”

“I’m sorry, Mercedes.” Byleth leaned into her, enjoying the warmth of the hug. “I’ve been avoiding you because I thought you’d be able to tell and I didn’t want everybody to know.”

“Well, everyone knows now.” Ashe said. “The cat is definitely out of the bag.”

“What cat?” Petra asked, looking around. “Where?”

“The cat is with the beans.” Felix said, smirking. “Don’t worry about it.” Petra frowned at him.

“Not everybody knows…” Byleth said. “The father still doesn’t know. Nobody can tell him, I have to be the one to tell him first.”

“Nobody really talks to His Highness except for you anyway, professor.” Marianne said, speaking up for the first time, as Mercedes took her seat across from her again.

Byleth shook her head. “How does everyone always know it’s Dimitri?! For all you know, I’ve been having a hot affair with a random bandit somewhere!” She crossed her arms as the table erupted into laughter. 

“Oh, come on! Who else would it be? Everyone knew years ago that you two loved each other.” Hilda said. “Nothing has changed. It’s obvious you both still feel the same, even if he is being all scary these days.”

“Still...I’m not ready to tell him just yet.” 

“Tell who what?” Sylvain said, walking up to the table with Ferdinand at his side and taking their seats next to Dorothea and Ingrid. 

Byleth sighed. “Everyone else knows, I might as well tell you since... knowing Ingrid and Dorothea they’d just tell you two anyway.” The two girls shrugged at each other and laughed. “I’m pregnant…” Sylvain opened his mouth. Byleth held up her hand. “Yes, Dimitri is the father. No, he doesn’t know yet, please don’t tell him. I just...I don’t know how to break the news.” 

Sylvain stood up and hugged her. “I know you’re scared, professor. But you’ll find the right way to tell him. He’ll be thrilled! Who knows, this might be what gets him to snap out of it.”

“Doubtful.” Felix said.

“Don’t be so negative, Felix.” Bernadetta said. 

“Listen, I’ve made a decision.” Annette said, as she climbed on her chair and clapped her hands. “Attention all ladies, as your former Sleeping Celebration Queen, I call an emergency sleepover tonight to help the professor figure out how to let His Highness know about his imminent fatherhood.” 

The silence at the table broke into excited chatter once more, as Hilda and Annette went into party planning mode. 

“Can the guys come this time?” Caspar asked.

“Nope. Girls only!” Annette said. 

“Aw, man.” 

“Don’t be sad, you can have a sleepover with me in my room any other time, Caspar.” Hilda winked at him. Caspar looked confused. 

“Don’t worry, Caspar. I’ll explain it to you later.” Sylvain laughed.

“Well, as for this sleepover, we can’t do it in the Blue Lions room again, all the classrooms are still a wreck.” Annette said.

"We can use my room; it's huge." Byleth offered, with a grin. “Then I can still sleep on my comfy bed.”

“Well, obviously we have to do everything we can to make sure our little mommy is comfortable.” Mercedes said.

“Mommy!” Bernadetta, Annette, Lysithea, and Flayn all squealed together. 

“That’s...just adorable.” Sylvain laughed. “Our class mom and dad are going to have actual kids together. Talk about wild.”

Byleth smiled more widely than she had since the day everyone reunited. She had been so afraid of anyone finding out that she was pregnant that she had been keeping her distance from everyone. She missed them. She’d forgotten how supportive they all could be. If anyone could help her figure out how to give Dimitri this life-changing news, it was the group assembled at the table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like poor Dimitri will be the last to know. But in the next chapter...he will find out!!!
> 
> I love reading all your comments. Someday when I finish this fic, I'll be really sad not to get them lol. For now, bring em on!


	21. The Last to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain pays Dimitri a visit, an impromptu sleepover is held, and Byleth goes to see Dimitri and tells him everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is up past her bedtime and is going to be a mess in the morning? Me! Who benefits from this? You! Have this crazy update while I talk myself out of having a late night snack!
> 
> In this chapter, finally, the main event! Dimitri finally finds out what we have all known since the Prologue. But first we get bro-time with Sylvain and I name and/or reference all of my ending ships during the sleepover scene!
> 
> Enjoy!

Dimitri sat on the front pew, picking at the dinner that Felix had brought him. Along with the food, he had brought him the news that an Imperial troop was heading for Garreg Mach. It excited him more than he knew it should. His new allies, the so-called resistance army, had been living at the monastery for a month, playing at war with their endless meetings and complete inaction. They were at a standstill. Dimitri had never been particularly good at standing still. It was maddening. The thought that something was finally happening was a relief. He heard heavy footsteps behind him and turned to see Sylvain carrying a plate. 

“Your Highness!” Sylvain called out to him. 

“Felix already brought me dinner.” Dimitri grumbled. 

“Oh, this isn’t dinner...it’s dessert!” Sylvain sat next to him and held out one of the two forks he was holding along with a plate containing a giant piece of pie. “Share with me - we’re celebrating!” 

Dimitri crossed his arms. “Celebrating what?”

“Good things, Your Highness! Good things!” Sylvain grinned so widely his smile seemed to take up his whole face. Dimitri was finding it difficult to resist asking him what he was so happy about. That was something he would have done before - years ago when he was young and naive and he looked up to Sylvain, literally and figuratively. “Are you going to ask me what the good things are?”

Dimitri stabbed the pie with his fork. He did not want it. It smelled good, but Dimitri knew he would not be able to taste it. He took a bite anyway and sighed. “What good things?”

Sylvain clapped him on the back and laughed. “Good things for you! Except...it looks like I’m not actually allowed to tell you what they are but trust me...good things are...let’s say...developing.” 

“Developing?” 

“Indeed! They are developing and will soon be ready to burst forth into the world. That’s a joke, you’ll laugh later, I’m sure.” His face turned serious. “You know, it was really hard to keep hope alive all those years we were looking for you. We knew you didn’t die at that execution, but there was no way of knowing that you were ok after you escaped. I’ll admit that I lost hope more than once. But we found you. And that, combined with the good news I’m not allowed to tell you...well that gives me a whole lot of hope, Your Highness. I have faith in you.”

“Your faith in me is misguided.” 

“See, I don’t think that’s true. As your oldest and wisest friend, let me give you a little bit of advice, or insight...if you will. You, His Royal Highness and Rightful King of Faerghus Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, you...are a fighter. Not a fighter like a soldier, a fighter in life. You have survived things that would have killed a lot of people. Things I know I would have never survived. That’s how I know you are going to survive this.”

“You’ve gotten sentimental in your old age.” Dimitri looked toward the altar, frowning, but unable to argue with Sylvain. Compliments always made him feel uneasy. 

“Maybe so...or maybe I’m just here killing time because Ingrid is at some crazy sleepover the girls are having in the Archbishop’s quarters and I’m lonely.” He shrugged. “Maybe I just wanted to share a piece of pie with an old friend and tell him that for all the bad he has seen...something good is on the way. Multiple somethings!”

Dimitri had no answer. He had no argument. Perhaps Sylvain was right. The Imperial army would be at their door within a week, maybe it was an omen that something good was about to happen. Perhaps they could win this war and he would be able to avenge his fallen family.

“Well, we’re out of pie and I’d like to blame you, but you only took one bite.” Sylvain laughed and stood up. He held his hand out for the fork and Dimitri gave it to him. “I will say one more thing...and please don’t hit me…” Dimitri glowered at him. “...be nice to the professor. She does a lot for you, for all of us, but specifically for you. You have no idea how much she is doing for you right now! Just...I know you’re hurt and angry and I get it, but just promise me you’ll try to stop being a jerk to her, ok? Goodnight, Your Highness.”

Sylvain winked and walked away from him, not waiting for him to respond, which was a smart thing for him to do. It appeared he had learned a thing or two about Dimitri in their long friendship. Dimitri was exceptionally good at accidentally promising to do things, and he always kept his promises. He did not know why he fought with Byleth so much. He did not want to fight with her. He would try. For the sake of the promise he did not intend to make, he would try to be nicer to her the next time he saw her. 

***

Cyril had insisted on helping Byleth set up her room by bringing extra pillows and blankets and helping everyone carry their sleeping bags and other bedding up the three flights of stairs. 

“Thank you, Cyril.” Byleth said. "I'm sure this is probably strange for you. I bet Lady Rhea never did anything like this. I know you would have preferred we left her room unoccupied until we find her."

"She sure didn't have sleepovers." He laughed. "But I've gotten used to the way you do things Lady Eisner, and I don't mind about the room. I'm sure she'd be thrilled about becoming a great-grandmother! She'd want you to use her room for sure."

"Oh, I didn’t know you knew…"

"Well, Flayn told me. I was worried you might be sick or something." She looked at him questioningly. "I've emptied your chamber pots in the morning…" She blushed. "But I asked Flayn and she set me straight. Congratulations, by the way." Byleth nodded her thanks and made a mental note to stop throwing up in her chamber pot.

He left the room once everyone was present. They were all getting settled when there was a knock on the door. 

"Can we not have a sleepover without interruptions?!" Annette walked over to the door. 

"At least we know it isn't Claude this time." Hilda said with a giggle.

"It would be most surprising if it was him." Petra said.

Annette opened the door to reveal Linhardt carrying his bedding. 

"Sorry I'm late." He said, stepping in and claiming a spot by the fireplace in between Hilda and Lysithea.

"Lin, no boys allowed! That's the rule!" Bernadetta said, throwing a pillow at him, which he caught and fluffed.

"Thanks for the pillow Bernie. Always so helpful." She scowled at him. "As for the rule, I figured I was at the last sleepover you all had, so it didn't apply to me." He shrugged.

Annette sighed. "Do we even need to vote to see if he can stay?" There was a lot of laughter and shaking of heads, so Annette determined the vote was unnecessary. "Just remember to behave yourself or we'll kick you out."

He nodded, slumped over to rest his head in Lysithea's lap, and yawned. "I'll be good, I promise." Lysithea rolled her eyes but started absently playing with his hair.

“Well, that’s just not fair.” Hilda crossed her arms and nudged Linhardt with her foot. “Caspar asked to come, and we said he couldn’t. I want a cuddle buddy!”

Lysithea patted Linhardt on the head and pushed him off her lap and in Hilda’s direction. He leaned on her shoulder and put his arms around her. Hilda laughed. “Lin, you need to talk some sense into your friend. I’ve been flirting with him for years now and getting no response. I’m not getting any younger!”

“ _You’re_ not getting any younger?!” Manuela said, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrow. “As the eldest here, I think if anyone should get to complain about still being single, it’s me. Maybe Catherine and Shamir too. Anyone over thirty.”

“Hey, how did I get dragged into this?” Catherine laughed. “I’m only single because I want to be. I’ve had plenty of offers.”

“Relationships are overrated. Once was enough for me.” Shamir said. “But if you want one Hilda, you still have plenty of time. You’re what...twenty-one?”

“Twenty-three!”

“The issue isn’t time.” Linhardt said, still leaning on Hilda. “You will never get anywhere with Caspar if you just keep dropping hints and expecting him to make the first move. He has been my best friend almost all my life, so trust me when I tell you that he is denser than the mountain this monastery is built on. You say you’ve been flirting with him for years? I can guarantee you he hasn’t noticed. You’re going to have to be direct.”

“But a girl can’t make the first move!” Hilda wailed dramatically, pushing Linhardt off her shoulder. “It isn’t proper.”

“Oh, screw propriety!” Leonie said. “I made the first move on Raph…. Ok, raise your hand if you think it's ok for the woman to make the first move." Everyone but Hilda raised their hands.

"Bernadetta! Marianne! I'm shocked either of you would agree to that!" Hilda shouted across the room. "You two would never…"

Marianne turned bright red. "No, I wouldn't. But the question was “would it be ok”, and it would be...for someone else."

"I made a threat to my future husband telling him that he should be with me to strengthen ties between our countries, or else we would make war with his homeland. Is that counting as moving first?" Petra asked.

"Damn, Petra…" Catherine laughed. "I like your style."

“I made the first move with Ashe.” Annette said. “And Bernie technically did make the first move on Felix when she shot him.”

“You shot Felix?!” Dorothea asked. “Why?”

“She shot him twice!" Ingrid said, chuckling. "And if you have to ask why, you obviously haven’t spent enough time around Felix.” 

“I have to agree with Ingrid on that one.” Byleth said with a laugh. “I’m impressed you managed to land two arrows on him though, Bernie. In Varley's forest terrain and with how fast he is, hitting Felix even once would be impressive. Two is amazing.”

Mercedes giggled. “She hit him with cupid’s arrow too...that makes three.”

“I... It was an accident! I didn’t know it was him! It was terrible, he ran, and I had to track him for two days! When I found him, his wounds were infected, and he was so sick!” Bernadetta buried her face in her pillow briefly, hiding her furious blush. The room erupted in laughter. She looked up and bit her bottom lip and looked at Hilda. “But...after he was better, and we’d gotten to know each other...I... I actually was the one who kissed him, so I did make the first move.”

“I didn’t know that! Go Bernie!” Annette whooped. 

“Hang on…” Hilda broke in. “She kissed your ex-boyfriend and you’re congratulating her? I don’t get it. You two are such good friends. Isn’t it weird knowing you’ve both been with Felix?”

“Not really.” Annette shrugged. “Felix and I are friends now. Plus, Bernie and I became friends through Ashe long before she was with Felix. We kind of accidentally set them up. I’m happy for them.”

“Plus... if I avoided being friends with everyone who has kissed Felix...I’d have to avoid almost half the people in this room.” Bernadetta said, smirking and looking a lot like her sarcastic fiancé. 

“What?!” Byleth clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Wait...Show of hands...how many people in this room have kissed Felix?” Ingrid, Leonie, Annette, Bernadetta, Dorothea, Lysithea and Mercedes all raised their hands. Byleth was shocked. She smiled widely. It had been a long time since she'd had this much fun. “Annette and Bernie, hands down. The rest of you...explain. Starting with you, you brat.” She shoved Leonie, who was sitting on her bed with her. “How is it possible I didn’t know this?”

Leonie laughed. “It was like the first day I was here at the academy, before classes started. Before you even got here. We were sparring and I won. He got all mad and got in my face. I figured it was the best way to get him _out_ of my face. It worked.” Byleth looked at Ingrid.

“First kiss. We were four or five I think...” Ingrid smiled. “Glenn always made fun of him, making jokes about Felix trying to steal his girl.” Ingrid looked at Dorothea. “He almost stole Ferdinand’s girl too.”

“No, he didn’t. I wasn’t his girl yet when it happened, and it wasn’t that serious.” Dorothea blushed and giggled looking at the other two girls with their hands still raised. “Felix drank a lot at Leonie’s wedding. He was...very friendly at the reception.”

“He really was. He kissed me at Leonie's wedding also.” Mercedes said, giggling.

“Yup...Leonie’s wedding for me too.” Lysithea shrugged. “He was working through some feelings that night I think.”

Linhardt looked at Lysithea. "You didn't tell me you kissed Felix at Leonie's wedding."

"I didn't. He kissed me. It was meaningless, if not entirely unpleasant." Lysithea crossed her arms. "It was at least an hour before I saw you there and we started talking."

Ingrid raised her hand again. “If it makes you feel any better Lin, I’m pretty sure Felix also kissed Sylvain at Leonie’s wedding.”

“See Bernie, if you had been at my wedding maybe you two would have gotten together sooner! Love was in the air!” 

Bernadetta shook her head. “I don’t think so. But...it doesn’t matter if I wasn’t the first person he kissed, or the first he loved... as long as I’m the last.” Her voice was soft, as usual, and although there was a blush on her cheeks, there was also a quiet confidence that Byleth was happy to see.

“That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” Manuela said. “And a very healthy way of looking at things Miss Varley.”

"That was something I had to learn too, being with Sylvain." Ingrid rolled her eyes. "I doubt I was one of the first hundred girls he kissed."

“But it isn’t as though Felix was your first love either, Bernie.” Linhardt said, teasing her. 

"That was a stupid, nonsense crush! He never even knew, and it would never have worked if he had." Bernadetta said. 

"He didn't know? It wasn't Caspar was it?" Hilda asked. Bernadetta shook her head. "Oh, come on, you have to tell us who it was!"

"You'll all make fun of me." 

"We won't!" Flayn, Hilda, and Annette all said together.

Bernadetta bit her lip then sighed. "It doesn't even matter; it was a million years ago! But if you must know, for a few years before, and while we were at the academy...I had a crush on...Hubert." She hid her face back in her pillow.

"Hubert!" Leonie yelled. "That would've been my last guess!"

"Our Bernie likes her men dark. Hair and attitude." Linhardt smiled at her.

"Whatever Lin, everyone knows unrequited love doesn't count!" Bernadetta shot back.

Linhardt looked away from Bernadetta and at Lysithea. His smile fell and his eyes were downcast. "You're right. It doesn't."

Lysithea shrugged and looked up at the ceiling. "It isn’t unrequited, Lin." Lysithea said softly, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Just...impossible."

"I disagree." Linhardt shook his head and reached for her hand. "Lysithea…" She turned to look at him and frowned.

"For the record, I agree with Lin." Hilda said.

"It's not up for debate! You can't debate facts." She looked away from his face and down at their joined hands.

"You can if you do enough research." Linhardt argued. "A diagnosis is not a fact. A diagnosis can be changed with more information." 

"I agree with Linhardt." Manuela said. "There may be a way…"

Byleth was confused while watching the exchange. "I feel like I'm missing something here."

"Something we aren't here to discuss. I refuse to talk about it anymore right now." Lysithea huffed. "I just...can't." She released Linhardt's hand and burrowed under his arm, wrapping her arms around his thin frame. He kissed her gently on the top of her head. "Besides, aren’t we here to talk about the professor and His Highness anyway? Her diagnosis is far more pressing than mine." 

"Right!" Dorothea said. “So, how did this happen, professor? When? He has been rather unapproachable these days.”

Byleth shook her head. “It happened five years ago. The night before the battle where I fell.”

“Wow…” Ingrid said, in awe. “I know he isn’t in the best place right now, but I can’t help but be really happy for you guys.”

“Are you going to tell him soon?” Flynn asked. 

“I want to. I just don’t know if it’s the right time.” She looked around the room at the smart, accomplished women around her, and Linhardt. “What do you all think? Should I tell him now or wait?”

Leonie scrambled to stand on the bed. “Wait before anyone says anything...raise your hands if you think she should tell him now.” Leonie raised her own hand, along with Ingrid, Flayn, Annette, Linhardt, Marianne, and Catherine. “Ok, seven votes. Now, who thinks she should wait?” Mercedes, Bernadetta, Lysithea, Hilda, Dorothea, Shamir, and Petra raised their hands. “Seven.” She turned to Manuela. 

“I abstain.” Manuela raised both hands.

“That was less than helpful.” Annette laughed. “Ok, let's hear some reasons! I think you should tell him now. Everyone loves babies! Maybe this is just what he needs to snap him out of it.”

“Or maybe what he needs to snap, period.” Shamir said. “There’s no guarantee this news won’t send him off the deep end.”

“I do not believe that would happen.” Flayn said, shaking her head. “His Highness is still good underneath the abrasive shell he is hiding himself in. Give him the chance to rise to the occasion.” 

“I agree.” Ingrid said. “I’ve known him my entire life, and I know the sweet, open-hearted person he has always been...that’s still who he is. He’s just lashing out because he’s just hurt.” She looked at Byleth. “But nothing would hurt him more than hearing this from someone other than you.”

“I know I would hate it if someone I loved was keeping such a big secret from me and I heard it from someone else.” Marianne said. “He should know...you should tell him before someone else does.”

“We _have_ already proven we’re pretty bad at keeping secrets.” Leonie laughed. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? If he’s a jerk about it, we can just...I don’t know...beat him up.”

“He’s been beat up enough.” Manuela said, grimacing. 

“He has been. Both physically and emotionally.” Mercedes said sadly. “I only managed to take him meals once since we started the rotation. It was horrible. I could just feel the pain coming from him in waves...I don’t think he’s ready to deal with something like this.”

“If he is in a bad mental place, it is likely that he will not react in a good way.” Petra said. “Perhaps you should take a guard when you tell him. Or at least your weapon.”

“I... don’t know him very well…” Bernadetta said. “But Felix does. He knows him better than almost anyone except you, professor, and he thinks His Highness is going to freak out no matter when you tell him! But I think waiting might help him to freak out a little less maybe…if he can get better in that time. Felix said he's made a little progress.”

“Like I said earlier, you don’t have a lot of time to waste trying to make a decision.” Lysithea said. “Those babies aren’t going to stop growing just because you don’t know what to do. And I think you’re having a problem deciding because it’s such an emotional thing for you. What you need is someone who has no emotional stakes in your situation to tell him, so that if he does freak out, at least he doesn’t freak out on you.”

“That’s a great idea!" Hilda shouted "If he says something asinine, you’ll never know, and you won’t have the memory of him being terrible about it. If someone else tells him, he’ll still know and then he can seek you out when he is ready to talk to you.”

“I have no emotional stakes about anything. I’ll tell him.” Shamir said. 

“No, you won’t.” Catherine said. “That would be a terrible idea. I don’t necessarily disagree that someone else telling him might be a good plan though, if it was the right person. But whoever does it, needs to do it quickly.” She pointed at Byleth’s belly. “It was harder to see that bump of yours in the dress you were wearing earlier, but that won’t last long. He’ll be able to see it soon enough.”

“I don’t know about that.” Dorothea shrugged. “He’s so closed off from everything and everyone, do you really think he’d notice? If you wear a cape over the dress it could buy you another month or so at least.”

“We are forgetting a crucial thing here.” Linhardt said. “His Highness is the best person to tell you what might be in store for you since you are carrying and raising children who bear his crest.”

“That’s not true, Felix wrote to his dad and asked about His Highness’ mom. We’re waiting for a response.” Leonie said. “But I still think you should tell him now.”

“Well, I don’t know about carrying them, but I can tell you one thing from growing up with His Highness and staying at the castle a lot…” Ingrid sat on the bed next to Byleth and pulled her into a hug. “I’m very sorry...but if those kids are anything like him, you are never ever going to sleep again.”

Byleth laughed, but she was even more conflicted than ever. "I'm almost positive I've said everything you all just said to myself at some point. I still don't know what to do." She turned to Manuela. "Are you sure you don't want to vote? A win in one direction or the other might help."

Manuela shook her head. "I'm afraid I won't be casting a vote, but I will say this…" She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Whatever you decide, if you tell him now or tell him later, if he does react badly, please let me know." 

Byleth nodded. "Enough about me, let's talk about someone else. Anyone else!"

"Ignatz asked Marianne out!" Leonie blurted out. "On the way here for the reunion. But she hasn't said yes or no yet!"

Marianne's mouth fell open as everyone threw advice at her. Byleth sat and listened but couldn't focus. She felt restless, like her legs coursed with energy even as everyone started settling in for the night. She watched them all lie down and was happy to see Linhardt holding Lysithea. She’d have to find out what was happening there once she figured out her own crazy life. It was part of her job as Archbishop to give counsel. Not to mention her job as their friend. 

Leonie curled up next to her as she had so many times in their youth.

"What are you going to do By?" She whispered as they lay and listened to the sounds of everyone falling asleep.

"I don't know." Byleth sighed. "But I can’t sleep. I think I'm going to take a walk."

"To the cathedral?"

"Maybe...probably. I'll just see how he's doing and make a decision from there."

Byleth stood up and walked around the sleeping people on the floor.

"Byleth…" Manuela whispered. "Good luck."

The night air hit her, and she felt another surge of energy. She'd forgotten to grab her cloak and it was cold, but refreshingly so. Byleth thought about what Dimitri had told her about Fhirdiad in the winter. She couldn’t imagine that kind of cold would be refreshing. She put her hands on her belly as she walked. Was she truly ready to tell him? Everyone had made compelling arguments on both sides. She walked across the bridge and stood in the cathedral doorway. 

" _You know, you have not asked me for my vote."_ Sothis said. Byleth could see Dimitri standing before the altar where he always stood. She stopped walking even though she was only wearing socks and knew that he would not be able to hear her approach. She wanted to be absolutely sure she would not be noticed until she was ready.

"I know your vote, Sothis. You think I should tell him now." She whispered, biting on her thumbnail.

_"I do. And my vote breaks the tie. Go in there and tell him. Right this minute! Byleth...I know you. You love him. You believe he still loves you. If you are ever going to get back to where you need to be, you need to tell him! He deserves to know, and he deserves to hear it from you!”_

She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly like she’d seen Manuela do earlier, and stepped into the cathedral. Dimitri was silhouetted in the moonlight coming in from the hole in the roof. As the light passed through the ice covering it, the ice bounced the light around illuminating the space. He looked almost ethereal in the pale light. Peaceful. Felix said he had taken the news of the upcoming imperial attack well. That he was excited something was happening and he was eager to fight. She approached slowly and sat on her usual pew in the front, looked at his plate, and saw that he had eaten. It was a good sign that maybe he'd be in a mood to talk to her. 

She waited for him to talk to her first. Ever since Felix’s advice to stay in proximity and wait for him to talk, she'd found that he reacted far better when he was the one to start the conversation. He had watched her walk in and sit down. He knew she was there. She sat on her hands to keep them from shaking. She was shaking anyway. She was nervous and cold. She cursed herself for leaving her room without a cloak or coat to cover her pajamas. She felt exposed almost more than she felt the cold. 

"I thought all the women were having some sort of sleepover in your quarters tonight?" He asked. Byleth opened her eyes and cocked her head at him. “Sylvain came to see me. He mentioned it.”

Byleth’s stomach dropped. Had Sylvain told him? "We are having a sleepover. But I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk. My feet brought me here." As if it were a coincidence that she ended up with him in the cathedral and not in the greenhouse alone. “Did Sylvain say anything else of interest?”

Dimitri huffed and crossed his arms. “Not especially. You know Sylvain.” She nodded. He turned back to the altar. He seemed calm. It didn’t seem like Sylvain had let it slip. She breathed a sigh of relief, but she still had no idea how to broach the subject. She thought about what Ingrid had said about never sleeping again.

"Dimitri, can I ask you an odd question?" He turned to look at her and didn't say no. She took that to mean yes. "I know you rarely sleep now, and you slept very little when you were in the academy, but did you sleep when you were a kid? Or did your crest keep you awake even then?"

"That is an odd question." He said. She shrugged. It was an odd question. She was an odd person. She still wanted to know. He shook his head. "No. I have been told I did not sleep much at all as a child, even as a baby."

Byleth nodded. He stared at her. He seemed to be expecting an explanation. "It's just...I've always been a bit of an insomniac too. And I’m a pretty light sleeper when I do sleep…” She took a deep breath and held his gaze. “With the genetic combination of my insomnia and your crest, I don’t know if our children will ever sleep.”

He blinked slowly at her. “The fact that you still believe in a future where we conceive children together is a testament to your misplaced optimism.” He looked away from her again and shook his head. “It is likely that I will die in the course of this war. Stop trying to imagine a future with me. It will only hurt you in the end.”

She released her hands from under her legs and hugged herself. “I don’t need to imagine conceiving children with you, Dimitri....because I’m pregnant.” He snapped his head around and stared at her. “I thought you should know.”

Byleth had always thought that Dimitri had an unusually expressive face, especially for someone of his station. He wore his heart on his sleeve. During his time at the academy, it was always easy to tell how he was feeling, just by looking. Even with a quarter of his face obscured by the eyepatch, his face was just as expressive as ever. Byleth knew the look on his face. It was hatred. She had seen him look at Edelgard that way and now it was directed at her. She panicked. 

“Congratulations.” He sneered at her. “I am sure the father is thrilled.” 

Byleth closed her eyes. No. That's not how she wanted the conversation to go. She needed to word it differently to make it clear to him that he was the father from the beginning. She didn’t want to have to convince him of that. She would just try again. She reached for the divine pulse and found herself in the throne room with Sothis. 

“ _I’m sorry, Byleth. You can’t use the divine pulse right now. “She_ said. 

“Please, Sothis! I know it is supposed to be for life and death situations only, but can we just make an exception?” Byleth asked. 

_“I am afraid not.”_ Sothis shook her head. _“It is not a matter of your reasons that keeps you from being able to use it. It is the little ones. You cannot use the power while you are with child. So many things change so quickly, especially in the early days. Having them travel the river of time could be disastrous. The most you can do is pause, which is where we are now. I am afraid you will have to go back to the moment you tried to use the power.”_

“Oh, Sothis...he hates me. He won’t believe me.”

_“He does not hate you. He will believe you. You will find a way. Be brave little one. Are you ready?”_

“No.”

Time resumed. Shit.

Dimitri still sneered at her. He had said he was sure the father was thrilled.

“He doesn’t seem to be so far.” She crossed her arms and looked at him pointedly. 

“Whoever he is, he is a fool and so are you to even think of having a child during a war!” He stomped over to the pew she was sitting on and leaned over her, putting his hands on the backrest on either side of her. She could hear the wood creak in his hands. His face was inches from hers. She could feel his hot, angry breath on her face. 

“Who is it? Claude? Felix? Sylvain? Someone else?” He cupped her chin harshly. “You certainly did not waste any time.” He let her go and stood up straight. She opened her mouth to correct him. “No! You lied to me!” He dropped his head and fisted his hands in his hair. He was hyperventilating. “Only... a few short weeks ago you were... telling me you loved me...even now you have the nerve... to sit here and talk to me about what _our_ children would be like...all while you are carrying another man’s child! Why...why are you toying with me?!” 

His voice echoed through the cathedral and through Byleth. She took a deep breath. “Dimitri...breathe. I am _not_ carrying another man’s child. I am carrying yours!” 

“You cannot be!” He shook his head. “No. Apart from that misguided kiss the night before we fought the thieves, you have not touched me! If you are carrying a child, there is no way it can be mine.”

“They weren’t conceived since I woke up. We conceived them that night in the knight’s hall, Dimitri. Before I fell.” 

“That is impossible! It was five years ago!” 

“It isn’t impossible! And it wasn’t five years ago for me.” She shook her head and sighed. “I can prove it if you’d like…if you don’t believe me. They have your crest...a simple test can show you.”

He staggered and sat on the pew next to her. “How…”

“How?! We had sex five years ago. You didn’t pull out and I didn’t get tea from Manuela the next morning because the Imperial army was early. That’s how.” He scowled. She stood up and started to pace. “Then I fell off a cliff and got trapped in stasis, where Sothis told me I was already pregnant when I fell. Me being pregnant was the only reason she was there to save me. When I woke up it was five years later for everyone but me...everyone but me...and these two babies. Twins, Dimitri. Yours and mine. You’re going to be a father.” 

She put her hand on her belly. Her pajama top and pants were not as good at hiding her growing bump as the dresses she wore around the monastery and on the field. To someone who didn’t know, it might have looked like she ate too much at dinner. For someone who looked at and studied her body as much as Dimitri had, the difference was obvious. A dozen different emotions played on his face and Byleth had hope because at least a few of them looked like he might have been happy. She remained quiet and let him collect his thoughts. She knew it was a lot to process. Her hope dwindled when his expression settled on angry.

He stood up and stomped over to her. “Get rid of them.” He whispered.

“You don’t mean that.” Byleth took a step back. His words felt like a slap across her face. She crossed her arms over her belly and took a second step back. Tears started to fill her eyes. 

He took a step forward. “I do. I have need of you as a tactician and a soldier, nothing more. You are of no use to me heavy with child and too feeble to be on the battlefield!” 

“Manuela said there is no reason I can’t still fight now, and later as long as I am not on the front lines.” 

“Ridiculous! I’ll say it once more. If they are truly my children you carry, then they are cursed. The entire Blaiddyd line is cursed. For your own good and theirs, I would advise you to be rid of them.” 

“I didn’t ask you for your advice!” Byleth screamed up at him, her tears hot and burning her eyes. She struggled to hold them in. “I’m not asking you for anything. I don’t want anything from you! Nothing you won’t give freely.” 

“I have nothing to give you.” Dimitri scowled. She wished she knew what he was thinking, although if his words were any indication of what his thoughts were, then maybe she was better off not knowing.

“Dimitri...look at me, please.” He looked at her. Tears formed in his eye as hers finally fell. She was pregnant and she was crying, and he was responsible for both. He was worse than a wretch. She took a deep breath and a step toward him. “I know you hate me now, but you didn’t always. We loved each other. Even though that may be over for you, these babies were conceived in love... and I love them. You don’t have to love them. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to have anything to do with them, or me, but you can’t ask me not to have them. They are innocent and they don’t deserve your hatred or your scorn even if you think I do.”

A tear rolled down his cheek. “I do not hate you. I…” He wanted to tell her he loved her. That he had always and would always love her. He wanted to tell her that he had dreamed a hundred times during her class that she would have his children one day. He wanted to apologize for telling her to get rid of them, because he did not want that. He wanted to be there for her and raise their children together. He could not say any of it. He did not deserve the happiness of being with her. He did not deserve to build the family he never had and always wanted with her. She deserved better. “I could never hate you.”

She nodded. They stood in silence or a few moments, the air between them heavy. The silence was only broken occasionally by her sniffling as she attempted to stop crying. He sighed. He could not be with her. It would only endanger her and hurt her. He could not stand to see her hurt. “If you insist on keeping them, I do not want you on the battlefield.” 

“You don’t get to make that decision. I am the one leading this army. You refuse to even attend the war meetings.”

“I will start going.” He took a step closer to her. “I do not want you fighting.”

“Good. You should’ve been going to the meetings anyway.” She took a step closer to him, all but closing the distance between them. “But you still don’t get to make that decision. You don’t get a say in this. Because... you’re right...these children aren’t yours.” 

He looked at her, his eye narrowed. “What do you mean? You said…”

“The man that fathered these children was my Dimitri - the one you say is dead. He loved me. He would never have told me to get rid of his children.” He looked down at his feet, ashamed. “So, you’re right, they aren’t yours...they’re mine. My dad was a single parent, I can be one too. So, it’s for me and my doctor to make the call about whether I fight or not. If someday you decide you want to be the man I know you are in there somewhere... if you decide to accept the responsibility and gift of being their father, then maybe I’ll let you weigh in.”

She was right. Fatherhood was a gift he was not worthy of and a responsibility he would only fail to live up to, just like all the others in his life. “If I am as horrible as you say, why tell me at all?”

“I never said you were horrible.” She ran her hands through her hair in obvious frustration. “I just wanted you to hear it from me before you heard it from anybody else. Trust me, this isn’t the type of thing that stays a secret. It won’t be long before it’s obvious regardless of what I wear to hide it.”

“Who else would tell me? Who else knows?” 

She shook her head. “Almost everyone. I wanted to tell you first but…” 

“You should have told me first!” He shouted, interrupting her and she blinked and nodded, taking a step back from him. She used to look at him adoringly, like he was the most important person to her, and now the only thing he saw in her eyes was fear and anger. He hated it. He hated himself for provoking her. He thought about his promise to Sylvain and how he had broken it a dozen times over. Sylvain... had mentioned celebrating good things. Did that mean Sylvain knew? "You say almost everyone knows. Do you mean to tell me that I am the last to know?"

“Not the absolute last...I know I should have told you first but...I thought you’d react badly.” She crossed her arms and frowned at him. “I can’t imagine why I would’ve thought that when you are obviously taking it so well, silly me.” 

“I…”

“Stop.” She interrupted him and huffed out a bitter laugh. “You know what, Dimitri...I am done with this conversation for now. I wanted you to know and now you know. Goodnight. I’ll see you at the war meeting tomorrow, or not. I really don’t care.” 

He swallowed and squeezed his eye shut. He could not look at her. He opened his eye again to try to think of something to say to her and saw her retreating from the cathedral. 

_“There goes your chance of avenging us. Without her help you are useless! You will lose this war!”_ His father snarled at him. “ _How could you be so stupid?”_

“I am sorry, Father.” Dimitri had been awake for almost a month straight, standing on his feet almost the entire time. He was suddenly tired. He pushed through every time he got sleepy. He did not have the strength anymore. He was no closer to avenging his family and every day that passed, it seemed like his goal got further away.

“ _That couldn’t have gone worse. For someone who claims to love her as much as you do, you’re really good at hurting her.”_ Glenn laughed at him, as usual. “ _You’re a monster. Admit it, you take pleasure in her pain! You are punishing her for leaving you even though it wasn’t even her fault.”_

“No, I did not mean to hurt her.” But he had. He knew what he was going to say would hurt her and he still said it. He hurt the woman he loved. She was the mother of his children and he cut her with his words at every opportunity. Dimitri hated Edelgard for everything she had done, but he was just as bad as she was. He was a monster. He backed up against the wall, into the corner, as if he could put distance between himself and their voices. He covered his ears, but he could still hear them.

 _“She is better off raising them alone without the stink of this family on her.”_ His stepmother, usually quiet, spoke up. “ _Let her go. Your sons would be better off having no father than having you as a father.”_

His sons. They were not even born, and he was letting them down already. Dimitri let himself slide down to the floor and covered himself in his cloak, trying to hide from his ghosts. Tears began to fall down his face. He did not want to let Byleth go, but he could not stop pushing her away. He wanted nothing more than to raise his sons with her and he had told her to get rid of them. 

_“I thought I told you to take care of her…”_ A new voice. Sir Jeralt. Dimitri’s blood ran cold. _“I told you to protect her and love her...I should have known better than to count on you. You are not worthy of my daughter or grandchildren.”_

“I am sorry, Sir…” He cried. “I am so sorry I let you down…”

“ _You are a miserable wretch, rightful king or not. Cornelia should have finished the job and killed you.”_ His uncle said with a huff. _“You should just finish it for her. What do you have to live for? The vengeance you will never get? The woman you chased away? The children you are unfit to raise?!”_

_“You are a disappointment to me, boy. You have always been...You are a disgrace!”_

_“You would only continue to ruin her life if you tried to be there for her. You’re vile, why would she want you after this?”_

_“She deserves better than you. Better than this entire reprehensible family.”_

_“You could never be good enough for her. It was always inappropriate for you to be with her, but you were selfish, and you pursued her anyway. You should be ashamed of yourself!”_

His body shook with wracking sobs as he wept. Dimitri never wished to hear from his ghosts more than he wished to hear Dedue’s voice among the throng in that moment. He needed just one word from his friend to let him know that all hope was not completely lost, but he was the only one among them who was silent. Eventually their screaming voices blended into one loud cacophony and he could no longer distinguish who was speaking or what they were saying, so he lay curled up into himself and let their shame and disappointment wash over him while he prayed to the goddess he was sure hated him that he would be able to fall asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah. A note about Dimitri here and how I am treating his ghosts. Dimitri, like many of us with mental health issues in real life, suffers from a terrible internal monologue and he engages in cripplingly mean self-talk. Real talk, if anyone ever said anything as mean to me as I can say to myself...I'd have to fight someone and I've never even been in a fight. But...it's going to be ok! Our boy will be getting the help he needs in my fic and it won't just be Byleth's love that saves him because...ew.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Did you like it? Hate it? Love to hate it? Tell me!


	22. Fiercely Maternal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manuela gives Dimitri homework and Felix gets a letter from his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we pull a Jasmine and Aladdin and explore "a new fantastic point of view" through Manuela! Dimitri starts to get some of the help he needs, or he will if he is a good boy and does his homework. 
> 
> CW: Mental Health, suicidal thoughts. I can't say this enough, if you are having mental health issues, find a counselor or therapist to talk to. It really does help. Take care of yourselves out there!
> 
> Song for this chapter: "Evermore" by Dan Stevens from live-action Beauty and the Beast.

Manuela lay on the chaise in Byleth’s room, listening to the breathing of the sleeping people around her, and waiting for Byleth to come back. She thought about the other women in the room and wondered what it said about her that everyone she considered a friend was so much younger than she was. She tried not to wonder what it meant that they were all so young and most of them were in long-term relationships, meanwhile there she was - eternally single and over forty. Not that she regretted the decisions she’d made in her life. Most of them were in their early twenties. In her early twenties, Manuela had been riding high as the “Divine Songstress” of the Mittelfrank Opera and casually dating those who flattered her the most. The thought of marrying any of the men she had known at the time was terrifying. Still, all these years removed from trading the stage for the classroom, she was lonely sometimes.

She was happy for her students though. Worried about a few, but happy for the most part. She sighed. She had not voted in the discussion earlier because she was torn. It was in her nature to be a bit indecisive, but in this case, it was tougher because she was the treating physician for both parties involved. What was good for one, might not be the best thing for the other. If Byleth told him and he took it well, that was the best-case scenario. There would be no more secrets, he could be involved, and having something positive to look forward to would really help the battle with his mental health. But if she told him and he did not take it well, he could spiral even further, and Manuela was not sure that His Highness could afford to spiral much further than he already had. On the other hand, sometimes hitting rock-bottom was helpful. On the other, other hand…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. She looked to see Byleth walking into the room, trying to be quiet. “Byleth…” She whispered to her and waved her over. “How did it go?”

Byleth sighed and sat next to her on the chaise. The light from the fireplace was enough for Manuela to see that her eyes were red and puffy, she had been crying. Manuela held her breath.

“I told him.” Byleth whispered. “It didn’t go well. At all...He...He told me to get rid of them.” She started to cry again. Manuela nodded and pulled Byleth into a hug. “Manuela, he can’t really want that, can he? 

“I don’t think he does, no.” Manuela rubbed Byleth’s back, trying to soothe her. “But he still should not have said it.”

“I just...I want to hate him, but I don’t. I’m so mad at him. I hate what he said, and I hate how he’s acting, but I still love _him_.” She pulled away and rubbed her nose on her sleeve. “Goddess, I am the world’s biggest idiot.”

“You are not. Trust me, you aren’t the first person to be made a fool for love, dear. This feeling won’t last. Eventually, you will either work things out, or your love will subside. You just have to figure out which one of those you want and work to achieve that outcome. Neither will be easy.” 

“Love stinks.” 

“I believe I told you that years ago and yet you still went and fell and fell in love on me.” Manuela smirked. “Although I’m pretty sure you were already in love with him by that point.”

Byleth grimaced. Manuela looked up and saw that Leonie had sat up in the bed. She guided Byleth over and had her lie down next to her friend, who held her close. “Try to get some rest.” She whispered, giving her one last hug.

Byleth would be in good hands in Leonie’s care. She also had a room full of people who would help and comfort her. Unfortunately, His Highness was probably not in as favorable a position. She bent and tapped Leonie’s shoulder to get her attention. 

“I’m going to go check on His Highness. I’ll be back.” 

Leonie nodded; Byleth frowned. Manuela put on her shoes and made her way out of the room and down the stairs to the infirmary. She threw a few supplies into her physician’s bag, put on her coat, and made her way to the cathedral. 

At first, she thought he had left. He was usually visible from the entrance, standing at the altar, but he was not there. She walked further into the cathedral. Other than the light coming through the ceiling and lighting the area around the rubble pile in the transept, it was dark, the rest of the cavernous space left in shadows. She conjured a faith spell for light and moved her hand around trying to see if he was somewhere else. She didn’t see him. She had almost given up when she heard a sound coming from her right. It was a sound she knew well. Someone was crying, and she knew who it was. She walked towards the sound slowly until she came to the wall separating the transept from the chapel housing the statues of the saints. She looked down and saw a large mass on the floor. Bringing the light closer, she could see that it was him, lying on the floor covered by his cloak. 

She didn’t know if he had heard her and she didn’t want to startle him. She bent to her knees beside him and moved her hand toward the wall, shining the light of the spell toward him in hopes that he’d see it. He inhaled sharply, a choking desperate sound that broke her heart. 

“Your Highness…” She whispered, trying to soothe him with her voice. “It’s me, Professor Manuela. I’m going to release this heal spell to see if we can’t get you to a place where you are calm enough to talk to me. Is that alright with you?” She would not treat him without his consent. In a medical emergency, she wouldn’t have asked, but with something like this, treatment was something he had to choose. He was shaking with emotion. She didn’t know if he was agreeing or disagreeing as his words came out as whimpers and sobs in between him trying desperately to catch his breath. Manuela was not an empathic healer like Mercedes, but even without that gift, she could feel the pain he was in and tears pricked at her eyes. She pulled back the cloak to reveal his tear-stained face. He winced and turned away from her. “You don’t have to talk...just nod if it’s ok for me to help you or shake your head if you want me to leave you alone.”

She was afraid he would shake his head. She fully expected he would refuse care. His face was turned to the floor and he was still mostly covered by his cloak. All she could see was the back of his head, but she would be able to determine a shake from a nod. She waited, held her breath and finally, he nodded. She let her breath out, relieved. The fact that he had agreed to treatment meant he was not too far gone. She hoped that in his emotional state, she would be able to get around the walls he had built and get him to talk. She released the heal spell and waited a few moments, listening for a change in his breathing or a break in his crying. Hearing neither, she released a second, more targeted healing spell at the base of his skull and held it. She heard his breathing even out, a sniffle. She ended the spell and after a moment he raised his head off the floor.

She stood and lit the nearby beacon, and they were bathed in a warm flickering light. She returned to where she had been kneeling beside him and looked at him more closely. She was struck by the realization of just how young he was. Underneath the matted hair and angry expression, his face still held the same boyish good looks she remembered from his academy days. For all his bluster and bite, he was still such a young man. He was only twenty-three. She was old enough to be his mother. She felt a warmth bloom in her heart that was fiercely maternal. He had been through a lifetime of traumatic experiences all while laboring under the intense expectations of being the future king. Expectations that were likely placed on his shoulders when he was too young and in too much pain to bear the weight of them. She wondered how long he had been dealing with his depression without help, if he’d ever had help at all.

“You stopped them.” He didn’t face her, but he tried to sit. She helped him. His eye was closed, but tears were still managing to escape. “How...how did you get them to stop?”

“Stop what?” 

“The voices...my family...their ghosts haunt me.” He shook his head; his voice trembled. It was a far cry from the harsh growling and snapping she had heard in their previous conversation. “It is no more than I deserve. They are right, I am a disgrace, a disappointment, a miserable wretch who deserves nothing but the same pain he inflicts on others…”

“Your Highness…” She sighed. That he had such a terrible self-image was not a surprise to her given his condition, but it was still hard to hear him say such things about himself. “I think you know that’s not true. You are none of those things.”

“I am. And that is why Byleth...why she hates me. I do not deserve her. She...the children...they would all be better off without me. The world would be better off without me. I should have just died in that cell in Fhirdiad.”

Manuela shook her head. It was worse than she thought. She repeated the spell that focused healing energy on the base of his skull and sustained it again. “More things that aren’t true. You know they are not.” Ending the spell, she put her hand on his shoulder. He flinched. “You are many things, from what I know and have heard about you, a liar is not one of them. Why do you say these things, knowing they are lies?”

“They do not feel like lies. They feel true.” 

“Ah...feelings. I can work with those.” Manuela stood up and moved to sit on a nearby pew and patted the seat next to her. “Come sit with me and let’s talk a bit about what you are feeling. A lot of what I’m hearing is what you think about yourself. Exploring those thoughts and the feelings behind them will be harder. So... let’s start with the easy one. There is one thing you just said that I know for sure is completely false. Byleth doesn’t hate you.” On the contrary, she had just said that she loved him, but it wasn’t Manuela’s place to tell him that. 

Dimitri stood slowly and stumbled over to sit next to her, slumping over and burying his head in his hands. He looked so tired, so broken. Manuela resisted the urge to hug him. “She may not have hated me before, but she certainly must now. I said terrible things to her. She should hate me. If I were her, I would hate me...I hate myself.”

“Your Highness…” Manuela felt her tears stinging at her eyes again and stubbornly willed them back. He ignored her. Getting through to him would be difficult. She needed a way to disarm him. “Dimitri…” He looked at her. The blue of his eye all the brighter for how red the surrounding white was. “I just saw her. She doesn’t hate you. She doesn’t, I promise...She did say that things didn’t go well when she told you. Can you tell me what happened? Or better yet, how did you feel when she told you?” His tears were silent, but still falling steadily. She noticed that tears were spilling out from underneath the eyepatch. She wished he would let her see the extent of the damage to his eye, but that was a fight for another day. 

"I felt like a failure. Like I ruined her life, like I should never have pursued her in the first place, just like her father said."

"Jeralt said that?" Manuela pursed her lips. "From my talks with him, he seemed to think it was cute how much you liked her."

"He did not say it when he was alive...his ghost said it tonight. He also said I was selfish and that I should be ashamed of myself.”

Manuela reached into her bag and pulled out a journal and pen. “Your Highness...you’ve mentioned you hear the ghosts of your departed loved ones, plural. May I ask how many ghosts? Who are they? When did you first hear them? Do you also see them?”

He sighed. He had finally stopped crying. She worried that meant he was building his walls back up. She was worried she had asked too much too soon, but to her surprise, he answered. “I mostly hear them, but occasionally I do see them as well. The first were my father and stepmother, and Glenn, Felix’s brother. I saw them before I heard them. I started hearing them not long after I recovered from my injuries from Duscar, but my stepmother rarely speaks. They were the only ones with me for a long time. My father and Glenn speak to me the most.” He paused; his jaw tightened. “When I was in jail, I started hearing my uncle. Dedue joined them after he died while helping me escape, but I don’t hear from him as often. Tonight, was the first time I have heard Sir Jeralt.”

“I see... I understand if it is too painful, but I would like to hear a bit about the things they say to you, each person specifically. Starting with what they were saying to you tonight if possible.” Manuela took copious notes as he rehashed what he heard that night. She did not believe for a second that the Prince was being haunted by real spirits, but she figured knowing what they said and when would be helpful in assisting her to find a way to aid him in getting rid of them. 

“You are writing a lot. May I ask what?” He asked, squinting at her journal. 

“Just a few notes that I might find helpful later.” She had noticed that a few patterns started to emerge very quickly, but she did not want to tell him what they were. If he was ever going to truly reconcile himself to the idea that the ghosts were his own thoughts, and not the actual spirits of his loved ones, he needed to do the work on his own. 

“Are you planning an exorcism of some kind? To banish them from my head?” He asked. 

“No, the church stopped sanctioning such things about a decade ago. We’ll be trying something else.” She reached back into her bag and pulled out a blank journal and handed it to him along with a pen and an ink horn. “This is for you. I’m giving you a few assignments...or prescriptions, if you would prefer to think of them that way.” He narrowed his eye at her. “I would like you to establish a routine consisting of five things. First, the meal delivery service stops today. I would like to see you in the dining hall at mealtimes starting tomorrow. Three times a day.” 

He scowled. “I am not always hungry.”

“You don’t always have to eat a lot. I want you to get into the habit of going there during mealtimes and eating regularly. If you are hungry - eat. If you are not, have a cup of ginger tea to stimulate your appetite and try to eat something small anyway. The second and third things can be done together. They are exercise and a change of scenery. You used to spend a lot of time in the training grounds, now you spend all your time standing here. I want you training, and I want you outside. I understand if this is a place of comfort for you, but it is also dark, and gloomy, and filled with bad memories. I’d like you to spend the bulk of your time elsewhere, even if it just means going for a walk.” 

He nodded. She paused, knowing the last two things would be the hardest. “The fourth thing is using this journal to document what your ghosts say to you. You can fill it out at the end of the day….”

“I have not written in many years. It may not be very legible.” He blushed slightly. Manuela patted the journal in his hand. 

“That doesn’t matter. I’m not going to read it. The only person that needs to be able to read it is you. I want you to write down everything your father, stepmother, Glenn and Sir Jeralt say to you and what you were doing at the time...you don’t need to write down anything Dedue says, but I do want you to pay careful attention any time he speaks and try to do what he asks. As for your uncle...Your Highness, this is especially important...any time your uncle speaks to you, you don’t listen, you don’t write it down, you come find me. Regardless of the time of day or what else might be happening. If he talks to you, you come to me right away. Can you promise to do that?”

“I can.”

“Good. Now the last thing. You aren’t going to like it…”

“The last thing is sleep, is it not?” He asked, looking down at his hands. 

“Yes. Just like with eating, you don’t actually have to sleep, but I want you in your room, out of your armor, and in your bed every night. There are things I can give you to help you sleep, but I’d like to see if you can do it without them first.”

“Professor Manuela, my room was heavily damaged. It is not habitable. It does not matter if it was, even in my year at the academy I was never able to sleep more than two or three hours a night except on two occasions...the two nights preceding the Imperial invasion...when I slept with Byleth in her room. I cannot do that now.”

“Hmmm. Not with her, no. But she is no longer using that room and I know for a fact it is habitable. Would you be willing to try to sleep there?” He didn’t answer. She nodded. “Come with me.” 

Manuela stood up and Dimitri followed suit. She led him out of the cathedral, across the bridge, and toward Byleth’s old room. She had him take his armor and boots off and piled them into a corner of the room. In the tunic and pants he wore under his armor; it was easier to see how undernourished he was. Regular meals would do him good, as would training. 

“Lie down please.” He looked uncomfortable but did as she asked. Manuela pulled the desk chair up to the side of the bed and sat. She did a spell meant to calm and relax him. He took a deep breath and looked up at her. 

“Professor Manuela...when I was younger, after Duscar, the healers in the castle wanted to give me various potions every day, to help me sleep, eat, make me...less sad. I never took them, my uncle said they were a crutch, and I did not need them. Will you be asking me to take medication?”

“Yes, but not right away.” He looked confused. Manuela put her hand on her chin and tapped her fingers. “Let me see if I can explain this in a way you can understand. You successfully took the certification for Holy Knight, right? So, you know a little about faith magic and healing?”

He nodded and sat up. “Lord Rodrigue is a holy knight, as was my father before he was crowned...I will admit that I barely scraped through the faith portion of the exam. I believe my riding and lance scores carried me. Had you been my professor you may not have given me a passing grade.”

She chuckled. “Well, let’s see how you answer this little question and I’ll let you know...” She stood and grabbed his dagger from his pile of armor and weapons. “This is a nice long dagger, perfect for this demonstration.” Still sheathed, she pointed the tip of the dagger at her abdomen. “There are two basic types of injuries someone could sustain with this dagger. We could take the tip and make a shallow cut of two inches long, or we could take the dagger, which is two inches wide and stab someone with it to the hilt.” She turned to the side and held the dagger against her. “As you can see, with how long it is, it would hit all kinds of things in there, but when pulled out, it would leave the same two inch cut on the surface as the first attack. Would you heal both the cut and the stab the same way?”

“Of course not.” He shook his head. “One is a surface injury that may only require a basic heal spell or a bandage, the other...there may be deep internal damage or bleeding. It would require a lot more healing on the inside.”

“That, Your Highness, was a perfect answer.” She sat back down. “To the untrained eye, both injuries look the same, but they are not. One is far more serious and will take longer to heal. With melancholia it is much the same. Again, there are two basic types, and you can’t heal them the same way. The first kind of melancholia is like the cut, where the pain is on the surface and there is no deeper hidden trauma. The second kind is like the stab wound.”

“Would medication not help both types?” He crossed his arms. She was glad to see he was engaged in the conversation. Even through everything that had happened to him, he was still a diligent student at his core.

“Yes. Medication... is like a bandage, but you must apply it in the right manner. It is remarkably effective with the first type of melancholia. The bandage alone can fix the problem completely. For people with the second kind, applying a bandage too soon may do more harm than good. It will mask what is on the surface, without dealing with the deeper problem. The symptoms may stop for a while, but the pain won’t, because the internal damage isn’t helped by the bandage, only the symptoms. Understand?”

He nodded, frowning. “You believe I have internal damage.” 

“I do.” She held up the dagger and gestured along the length of the blade starting at the tip. “The loss of your mother at a young age, Duscar, thinking Byleth had died, your imprisonment and everything that came with it….everything you have been through, each traumatic event, was like adding an inch to the dagger, compounding the damage that came before it and leaving you vulnerable to more injuries every time it wasn’t dealt with. We will apply the bandage of medication, but we must fix the inside of you first. 

“Would a stab wound not bleed out without any kind of bandage?” He asked.

“So, it isn’t a perfect metaphor…” Manuela shrugged. “The point is, I don’t want to get you on medication and have you feeling so good you think you don’t need to do the internal work. The internal damage is where your problem lies. Do you know how we start fixing that?”

“Talking about it?” He said, narrowing his eye at her, a hint of the gravel returning to his voice.

Manuela smiled. “I believe I would have given you that passing grade, Your Highness. You’re an excellent student. I can see why you were her favorite.” He winced. “You still are…. but if you want to become my favorite patient you have stiff competition. While we work on the deep-rooted damage, you need to...let’s say... apply pressure to the wound by doing your homework. Lie down please.” She pushed his shoulder until he lay back down on his back. She counted on her fingers. “Eat, train, go outside, write in the journal, and try to sleep. Can you do that?”

Dimitri didn’t say anything. He stared at the ceiling. His brow furrowed and his eye glassed over. He squeezed it shut but tears started to escape, and his chin trembled. He shook his head. “Your Highness...”

He sniffed and opened his eye. “My father says this is a waste of time and I should be focused on defeating Edelgard and not on myself and my weak constitution. And my...my uncle says that the damage is too great on the inside and there is no hope of ever healing it no matter what I do. He says I should take that dagger after you leave, run myself though with it, and save everyone the wasted effort…”

Manuela sighed. “We will deal with Edelgard in due time, your father will have to be patient. As for your uncle, his name was Rufus, right?” She asked. Dimitri nodded. Manuela cleared her throat. “Attention Rufus Blaiddyd...if you can hear me...kindly fuck off and leave your nephew alone!” Dimitri’s eye widened and the corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. “Feel free to tell him the same thing any time.” 

“You believe my ghosts are real?” 

“I believe they are real to you. If yelling at them helps, by all means, yell at them.” She picked up her bag and turned her back to him so she could slip the dagger inside it without him seeing. While reaching into the bag, she pulled out a vial containing a mild sedative and set it on the desk next to the journal. “This will help you sleep if you need it. But first, count backwards from one hundred. If you get to one and don’t fall asleep, drink this and count again. I’ll see you in the dining hall for breakfast in the morning, Your Highness.”

She was about to leave when she heard his voice behind her. “Will it work? Do you honestly believe all of this will help?”

“I do. It will not happen right away. You’ll have good days, and you’ll have bad days. You’ll have victories and setbacks. But...in my professional opinion, I do believe that if you do the work, you will see an improvement.” He nodded, turning to lie on his side with his back against the wall. If she had to guess, she figured that the nights he had slept in that bed previously, Byleth had lay on the side he was facing. She slipped out the door and walked back to the Archbishop’s quarters, finally allowing herself to cry. 

When she stepped back into Byleth’s room, Leonie and Byleth were still awake. Leonie waved her over. She dropped her bag, kicked off her shoes and coat, grabbed her blanket and joined them on the bed with Byleth in the middle. They fit easily. 

“This bed is gigantic.” Manuela whispered. “Someday soon you may be able to have a lot of fun on it.” Leonie snorted. 

“I doubt that.” Byleth whispered back. “How is he doing?”

“I thought you said you didn’t care how he was doing.” Leonie said.

“I know what I said.” Byleth sighed. “Manuela...is he ok?”

Manuela brushed Byleth’s hair back from her face. “No, sweetie, he isn’t...I don’t think he has been for an awfully long time. But I think he can be with a lot of work and a lot of help. I can’t really tell you anything more without his permission though.”

Byleth frowned. “Is it fair of me...if I’m still mad at him? Knowing everything he’s been through and still going through… Am I allowed to be mad for what he said and how he reacted? Because I'm really, really mad and I don’t know how not to be mad.” 

Manuela nodded. “Of course. I would never tell you not to feel your feelings. I would say however, that since you are mad at him, you should stay away from each other for a little bit. There are a lot of raw nerves between the two of you and I think you might be exponentially more capable of hurting each other right now. The immediate crisis is over. He knows about the pregnancy; you don’t have to hide or worry about him finding out anymore. Now you can just give each other space until you are able to come together peacefully.”

“That’s a good idea.” Leonie said, with a yawn. “You’re really good at your job, Manuela.” Byleth nodded in agreement. Manuela smiled at them. They bid each other goodnight. As they settled down to sleep, Manuela prayed that she was good enough at her job that she would be able to help him. She prayed that he would allow himself to heal and his ghosts would leave him eventually. She prayed that the part of him that spoke in his uncle’s voice would be the first to go. 

***

Byleth awoke earlier than everyone else. As soon as she opened her eyes she was hit by a wave of nausea. She scrambled over Manuela and rushed into her adjoining bath and closed the door. With a silent apology to Cyril, she picked up her chamber pot and told herself she would stop throwing up in it tomorrow. It was nice not to have to hide it anymore. She was sure the entire room full of people outside the door could hear her. She drew some water, washed her face and teeth, and looked at herself in the mirror. 

_"You look terrible."_ Sothis remarked.

"Thanks a lot." She couldn't be too mad at Sothis for pointing out the obvious. She really did look terrible. Her eyes and face were red and puffy. She was still trying to get used to crying all the time. It was like when her dad died all over again except worse, both because there was no end in sight and because half of the time she cried, it was over the most mundane things. Today at least she had a good reason for crying through the night. 

_“I’m sorry he didn’t take it well.”_

“That’s an understatement. He couldn’t have taken it much worse. I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I’m nauseated enough already.” Byleth combed her hair with her fingers. Only a month after waking up and her hair had grown down to the middle of her back. “Sothis, is pregnancy making my hair grow faster? It has never grown this fast before.”

 _“Yes. And I think it looks lovely. Don’t you dare cut it.”_ Sothis appeared before her. “ _Just think if you let it grow, in a year it may be as long as mine.”_

“Long hair isn’t very practical for the battlefield.” 

“ _Have you never heard of a braid?”_ Sothis huffed. “ _Besides, despite what you told the prince last night, Manuela has not actually cleared you for battle yet.”_

“She will.” Byleth walked out of the bath and was surprised to see that she hadn’t woken anyone up except for Mercedes, who beckoned her out onto the balcony for a cup of tea.

“It sounded like you were having a rough morning.” Mercedes said, handing her a cup of peppermint tea and studying her face. “Oh, and bit of a rough night as well, it seems. May I?” She held up her hand, ready with a healing spell. Byleth nodded. Mercedes first placed her hand on Byleth’s belly, and she felt her lingering nausea subside. Next, she cupped Byleth’s face in her hands and she felt the rawness that came from crying all night go away as well.

“Thank you, Mercedes.” Byleth smiled, as she leaned on the balcony railing and looked down at the bridge leading to the cathedral. “Can I just have you follow me around all day healing me?”

“I’d love to!” Mercedes giggled as Leonie stepped out onto the balcony. 

“Good morning! Felix is at the door for you Byleth. He said he doesn’t want to come in and wake everyone.”

Mercedes raised her eyebrows at Byleth, and she shrugged in response. She maneuvered through those that were still sleeping and cracked the door open, stepping out into the hall with Felix.

"What's going on?" 

"Two things, I got a letter back from my dad…" He held it up. "...and the boar is missing. He's not in the cathedral."

"Missing?! Wait...Manuela talked to him last night, she probably knows where he is." She poked her head back through her door and saw most people were starting to stir. “Leonie, can you wake Manuela and send her out here?” Leonie nodded and Byleth closed the door and turned back to Felix. 

“Why did Manuela talk to the boar last night?”

Byleth sighed. “Because...I told him last night…” 

“About the pregnancy?” She nodded. Felix gaped at her. “You told him?! What did he say? What happened that he needed to see a fucking healer? Did you kick his ass or something?”

“No, I didn’t. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind. He said…” Byleth paused. She had told Manuela exactly what Dimitri said, but she hadn’t told Leonie. Something held her back. That same something was holding her back from telling Felix. “He said a lot of things...I said a lot of things. It was terrible. So terrible that when Manuela went to check on him, she was gone for well over an hour.”

“Damn.” Felix shook his head. “I’m sorry, By. I thought you were going to wait to tell him. See if he made more progress.”

“I was. But...anyway, it doesn’t matter now.” Byleth shook her head as Manuela and Leonie stepped into the hallway. “The point is he knows, and he isn’t happy about it.”

“Then he’s an even bigger idiot than I thought. Do I need to go kick his ass?” Felix asked.

“Nobody will be kicking his ass.” Manuela said. 

Leonie scoffed. “That’s too bad, I kind of want to.” 

“We can’t very well beat him up if we don’t know where he is.” Felix said, turning to Manuela. “Byleth said you might know why he isn’t in the cathedral.”

“I can’t really discuss it, but I can tell you when I left him, he was in a bed and agreeing to try to sleep.” Manuela answered. 

“Where? All our former rooms on the second floor are trashed. That’s why I’ve been bunking with Bernie.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s why.” Leonie laughed. 

“Shut up.” Felix said, but Byleth swore he was blushing just a little. “Seriously, Manuela, where is he?”

She sighed. “If you must know, he is in Byleth’s old room.”

“That’s kind of creepy.” Leonie said. 

“Completely creepy.” Felix agreed. 

Byleth wasn’t so sure it was creepy. It was sort of sweet that he wanted to sleep in her old room. She reminded herself that she was mad at him and crossed her arms. “Why my room?”

“I was trying to get him to sleep. He said it was the one place he has ever slept more than a couple of hours.” Manuela shrugged. “Also, I knew it was empty.”

Byleth sighed. “I guess that solves that mystery then.” She turned to Felix. “What about this letter from your dad?”

“Oh, here I’ll let you read it.” He handed it to her. “Read fast, we need to get to the training grounds.”

“Training grounds, why?” Leonie asked. 

“I haven’t cleared her for training, Felix.” Manuela reminded him. 

“You will.” Felix motioned for Byleth to head the letter. 

_Dear Felix,_

_I was in the middle of composing a response to your previous letter when I received the newest one. You can imagine my surprise upon reading it! Please give my congratulations to Lady Byleth and His Highness both. The combination of the news that you finally found His Highness after all your years of searching, and that we have the next heirs to the Kingdom on the way has filled me with hope that I have not felt in years. I have not disclosed the news of the children to anyone, per your request of secrecy, but I can tell you the men have been buoyed by the announcement that his Highness has been found alive and safe._

_I also received a letter from Gilbert. He tells me you are in immediate need of additional troops. I have gathered reinforcements and have planned to send them to the monastery at the end of the next moon. I, however, cannot afford to leave the front line for very long. Would you be willing to meet us south of Fraldarius in Ailell, the Valley of Torment? Ailell is halfway between the monastery and our territory. There, I will deliver the soldiers you require._

_As to the question in your letter, Dimitri’s mother and your mother spent a lot of time together when they were both with child, so I do know quite a bit about the issues the Queen had carrying a baby with the Blaiddyd crest. She was very tired, and very hungry. She was violently sick, but only about halfway through the pregnancy, whereas your mother's wasn’t as bad, but lasted the whole time. I think her crest really helped her. She had a minor Crest of Lamine. The biggest problem she had was once His Highness got big enough, he started to cause damage while moving. He bruised several of her ribs on multiple occasions and even managed to break a few! If Lady Byleth has a healer nearby most of the time, she should be fine on that front._

_Now, for the benefits! Queen Irina was a healer and never much of a fighter until she was pregnant. When she was, she gave even the King a run for his money in sparring matches. Her strength and speed were more than doubled, and most of the time he couldn’t land a hit on her. She only ever lost sparring matches because she got tired. I recommend going to the training grounds and seeing what Lady Byleth can do. With her previous skills and the benefits from the twin Blaiddyd crests, I would think her to be practically unbeatable!_

_I look forward to seeing you, my son. It has been too many years since I have seen you, and although I know you will make a face at my sentiment - I miss you, Felix. I wish I could go spend some time with you at Garreg Mach. I am trying to see if I can convince your uncle to watch the territory for a while so I can do so, and I am hopeful that he will agree. If he does not, I will still see you in Ailell at the end of next moon. Make sure to dress appropriately, it is almost unbearably hot for those of us used to colder climates. Let me know how the sparring session goes and make sure to give my love to Lady Bernadetta._

_Farewell until I see you,_

_Lord Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius_

Byleth looked up from the page, handed the letter to Manuela and smirked at Felix. "Practically unbeatable, huh? Care to test that with me?" It was clear that Felix was excited about sparring and seeing how strong and fast she was, and she was interested as well, but Byleth could not stop thinking about the fact that baby Dimitri had broken his mother’s ribs more than once. 

"Absolutely. I've been waiting five years for a rematch." Felix grinned.

They agreed to meet at the training grounds in an hour to give Byleth time to get dressed and clear everyone out of her room. She put her hands on her stomach as she got dressed. “If you two could do me a favor and not break any of my bones, I would really appreciate it.” Sothis giggled in her head. 

***

Manuela left Byleth’s room and went to check on the prince on her way to the training ground. She opened the door to Byleth’s old room and found it empty. She frowned and wondered if he'd gone back to the cathedral. She walked into the training grounds and was surprised to see him there. The broken pieces of two training lances sat at Dimitri's feet as he assaulted a training dummy with a third. 

"Good morning, Your Highness." Manuela called from the door. He stopped his movement in mid-swing and his crest activated, a silvery star directly above him, causing him to snap the third lance. "I'm happy to see you training!"

"You told me to train." He kicked the broken lance pieces away.

"I did. I'm glad you listened. Were you able to sleep?"

"A little…" He closed his eye and shook his head. "I had to take the sedative, but I had a nightmare early this morning and could not go back to sleep afterwards, so I came out here."

"A nightmare? What about?"

"Nothing important." He bit his lip. He looked as though he wanted to say something else. She waited. "Professor Manuela...did you take my dagger?"

"Yes." She sighed. "How long was I gone before you went looking for it?" He looked down at his feet, his shoulders slumped. "Did your uncle speak to you again and tell you to find it?"

He did not look at her. "Yes."

"Did I not tell you to come find me any time he spoke to you?" Manuela crossed her arms.

"Yes. But you were going back to Byleth’s room. I did not think she would want me to go there."

"You're right, she wouldn’t. But that isn't the point. He talks to you, you find me. No matter what."

The door to the training grounds opened and Felix walked in. He stopped in his tracks. "Boar. You’re training?"

“I was.” Dimitri went to walk out. 

“Wait...spar with me. I need to be warmed up before Byleth gets here.” Felix stepped in front of him. “I also just really want to fight with you since she said you were an asshole when she told you she was pregnant.”

Dimitri ignored Felix and looked at Manuela. “You are going to let her fight? Is that not dangerous, in her condition?”

“That’s what we are here to determine, Your Highness.” Manuela said as Leonie and Byleth walked in. A heavy silence settled over the training grounds as Manuela, Felix, and Leonie looked back and forth at Byleth and Dimitri, who were staring at each other. Byleth broke eye contact first and walked away, toward the weapons rack. Dimitri sighed and stalked out of the training ground without another word or a look back.

“Well that was totally awkward…” Leonie said.

“I swear the temperature dropped about ten degrees.” Felix looked at Manuela. “What exactly happened when she told him?”

“Yeah, all she told me was that it didn’t go well. I know you got more details from both of them.” Leonie whispered. “Spill it.”

“I can’t do that. She is my patient and so is he. Anything they tell me is confidential.” Manuela insisted. “Besides, we aren’t here to gossip, we are here to watch these two spar, so let’s get at it.”

Felix walked over to Byleth and put his hand on her shoulder, saying something Manuela could not hear. Byleth shook her head and picked up a training sword. Felix did the same. Manuela and Leonie watched, entranced, as in match after match Felix failed to land a hit on Byleth and she drove him back with strength that was far more than anything they had seen from anyone but the prince. Felix called for a break and stood with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. 

“Leonie! Get over here and help me fight this monster!” Felix called to her. 

Leonie brightened, ran to grab a training axe and stood on the opposite side from Felix. Byleth cracked her neck, raised her sword, and proceeded to fight them both at once. With both trying their hardest, neither managed to hit her. She had disarmed Felix who was hanging back and watching her battle with Leonie when in the middle of an upward arc against Leonie’s axe, two golden stars flashed above Byleth’s head, and both training sword and axe broke upon impact with each other. 

Byleth stared at her hands. “Oh shit.”

Manuela smiled. She would need to keep an eye on her stamina since Lord Rodrigue had mentioned the Queen being tired was the only reason she ever lost a sparring match, but she was thrilled with what she had seen. “Byleth...I’m hereby clearing you for combat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I don't manage to finish the next update before Thursday, have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I will be cooking and eating far too many carbs, and I can't wait. This year, which has been insane, I can be grateful for each and every one of you who reads this. Writing this story has been the most fun I have had all year!
> 
> Leave me your comments and I'll be EVEN MORE thankful!


	23. Set the Place on Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri attends a war meeting, the Imperial troops attack, a fire is set, and things get hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter I officially complete NaNoWriMo 2020! I have never actually finished before in all the years I have been doing it. If anything writing this story has made me get used to writing every day! Enjoy the update!
> 
> Song for this chapter: Believer by Imagine Dragons

_By the grace of the fire and the flames_

_You’re the face of the future, the blood in my veins…_

_My life, my love, my drive, it came from pain_

Dimitri said a lot of things he regretted when he talked to Byleth the night before. When he walked into the Cardinals’ room and was faced with a roomful of surprised stares, the thing he regretted saying the most was that he would start attending war meetings. 

“Your Highness!” Gilbert stood up and bowed to him. The others added their greetings, all except for Felix, who glared at him, and Byleth, who pointedly ignored him.

“Come, sit. We were just beginning to discuss plans for the arrival of the Imperial troops next week.” Gilbert continued. Dimitri took Gilbert’s seat across from Byleth and he went to sit further down the table next to a man that he was surprised to see - Alois. 

“Your Highness, it is so good to see you!” Alois laughed. “Looks like me showing up is what was needed to get you to attend the meetings.”

Dimitri grunted in response and chanced a look at Byleth only to catch her looking at him. He held her gaze and it felt like all the air went out of the room. He could feel everyone else watching them as they stared each other down for the second time that day. He wondered if everyone present knew she was pregnant, worse, if they all knew how he had reacted when she told him. Byleth looked away from him and toward Seteth. 

“As I was saying before the interruption, I don’t think we should repeat the strategy from the last battle that was fought here. We had a lot more people fighting five years ago than we do now. We are going to be outnumbered. There is no way we can hold the wall." Byleth looked around at everyone gathered around the table. "We need new ideas, fresh tactics."

“Whatever our plans are, I move that we bring Caspar in for the meetings this week. General Randolph is his uncle. He may have insight as to what he might do.” Ferdinand said. 

“I agree.” Hilda said. “Good idea, Ferdie. I second.”

Byleth looked around the table. “Does anyone have an issue with Caspar joining us.” Seeing no disagreement, she nodded. “No need to vote then. I will ask Caspar to join us starting tomorrow. Any other ideas about the fight itself?”

"We could set the place on fire. That might even the odds." Felix said.

"Will you take things seriously for once? This is no time for your sarcastic nonsense" Hilda said. "We are not setting Garreg Mach on fire."

"I agree with that." Seteth said.

Felix shook his head. "Not the monastery proper, I’m not crazy. Somewhere further away, but close enough that we can still plan and contain it." He looked at Byleth. "You taught this in your strategy lecture – use your environment to your advantage and don’t neglect the element of surprise. I move that we fight them using fire to direct them where we want them. That way they can't spread out and overtake us.” 

Byleth nodded. “Solid plan. I second.” 

Dimitri remembered that specific strategy lecture. Felix mentioned clearcutting a forest to secure a matching route and they all thought he was kidding, but Byleth showed them why it would be a good strategy if executed correctly and commended Felix on thinking creatively. Dimitri was not a fan of fighting near fire after Duscar. Fighting in Remire had shown him that, but he would not allow his fears to keep him from his goal. 

"Where would we set the fire?" Ferdinand asked. "A fire in either the dry grass outside the wall or the forest inside the wall could get out of hand quickly."

“True, but with there being less of us and possibly more enemies than expected, attacking with fire could be most useful if we could figure out where to do it.” Gilbert said.

“It isn’t like you to agree with me.” Felix scoffed. 

"No, it is not. But I will not pretend it is not a sound strategy. We could use the fire to confine the enemy troops to a small location and then surround them." Gilbert said. “All in favor of setting a fire?” Everyone but Ferdinand and Dimitri raised their hands. “Very good. We just need to find a place out there where we can set the fire safely.”

“That’s obvious. We need to let them in past the walls and into the village.” Byleth said.

“What?! Why would we let them in?” Hilda said. 

“There’s a portion of the village that burned when the dragon set fire to it five years ago.” Byleth stood up and pointed to a section of the map. “If we can lead them here, we can light up this same area again without damaging anything else. We can trap them, surround them, and defeat them.”

“If they reach the interior, we won’t be able to protect the monastery.” Seteth said. “It’s risky.”

“They will not reach the interior. We will drive them back.” Dimitri said, looking at Byleth. She blinked and looked back at the map. 

“How do you propose we draw them to the burned buildings? That area is off the main road.” Seteth asked. 

“We use me as bait.” Byleth said with a shrug. 

“No!” Dimitri shouted.

“Absolutely, not.” Seteth agreed. 

“No way, Byleth.” Felix shook his head. 

“Look…” Byleth said, clearly annoyed. “Edelgard is sending troops because she saw Claude and I here. Claude went back to Derdriu and has been operating there for over a month. No doubt, she will be aware of that because of Lorenz. For all she knows and has directed these troops, I may be the only person here. I can be at the village wall on horseback and have them chase me to the designated area.” She pointed at the map. “All of us who can cast fire can set the place aflame once they are in position, and those who know wind magic can direct it until we have them surrounded. Then everyone else can attack. They won’t know what hit them if they think I’m here alone.”

“You should not be on the field at all, much less be the person who draws the enemy in!” Dimitri slammed his fist on the table. “I command you to stay behind.”

Felix rolled his eyes. Hilda stifled a giggle. Gilbert winced. 

“You do not have command over me in general, Your Highness, but especially not at this table.” Byleth crossed her arms. “Rightful king of Faerghus or not, the resistance army is made up of soldiers from all over Fodlan. No one person has authority over everyone. If you’d like to propose keeping me off the field, you can call for a vote, but you better have a good reason.” She raised her eyebrows at him, almost daring him to admit why he did not want her fighting.

Dimitri stood up, leaning on his hands on the table. “Very well. I call for a vote. I move that due to her pregnancy, with twins no less, Byleth should be forced to stay off the battlefield for her own health and the health of the children she carries. Children who are the future heirs to the Kingdom of Faerghus.” A quick glance around the table showed that most people already knew, as only two among them looked surprised. 

“You are pregnant? And His Highness is the father?!” Gilbert asked standing up. Alois’ jaw dropped. “Is this true, Your Grace?”

Byleth sighed and shook her head, looking at Dimitri over the rim of her glasses, with open scorn. “Yes I am. And yes...he is.”

Gilbert turned to face him. “By the Goddess! I second your motion, Your Highness.”

“All in favor.” Dimitri raised his hand. Gilbert, Alois, Ferdinand, and Seteth raised their hands. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Byleth said, running her hands through her hair in frustration. “Seteth?”

“Your safety is a great concern for me, Byleth.” He answered. She glowered at him.

“All opposed,” Felix said, raising his hand. Byleth and Hilda joined him.

“Looks like you are staying off the field, Your Grace.” Dimitri said. 

“No. I’m not. I refuse and object to your motion.” She said. “Would it change any of your minds if you knew that Manuela tested my abilities and defenses and cleared me for battle just this morning? I am in better fighting shape than I have ever been.”

“That’s right.” Felix said, standing up as well. “Leonie and I sparred with her for almost an hour this morning. At the same time. Neither of us managed to hit her even once. Her strength is off the charts and her magic resistance is unparalleled. She wouldn’t be in any danger!” 

“Your father would not want you endangering yourself or his grandchildren, Byleth.” Alois said, standing up as well. “I promised him I would look after you. My vote is to keep you safe.”

“My dad had me on the battlefield since I was ten. He knew he could trust me as a fighter then, and he would trust me as a fighter now.” 

“Everyone sit down.” Seteth said. Begrudgingly, they all took their seats. “If what you say is true, I change my vote. I trust Manuela’s judgment in medical matters implicitly. But that brings us to a tie. Can we not come to some kind of compromise? What if we have one of our best healers follow her at all times?”

“And an extra knight to protect her as well.” Ferdinand offered. “That would make me feel better enough to change my vote.”

“No. We don’t have many soldiers as it is. We can’t spare two of our best people to do nothing but shadow me. That would leave two battalions without leaders.” Byleth said. “This is ridiculous. I’ll be fine.”

“What if it is only one person acting as both guard and healer.” Felix offered. “I can do both. And I don’t lead a battalion so that wouldn't be an issue. It is my job as the future Shield of Faerghus to protect the royal family. That isn’t just the boar prince anymore. You are carrying the future of the royal family. I can do it.”

Dimitri frowned. Something uncomfortable coiled in his stomach at Felix offering to protect Byleth. She was _his_ to protect. 

_“Just let it go. He will be far better at protecting her than you could ever be.”_ Glenn said. _“You can barely do a basic Heal spell. And how are you going to protect her when you have a giant blind spot? She’d be better off out there alone.”_

Byleth nodded. “I could live with that. I move that I be allowed to fight, with Felix acting as my guard and healer, on the condition that Manuela clears me. If she ever says that I have to stop, I will heed her directions.”

“I second.” Felix said. 

“All in favor.” Seteth said, raising his hand. Byleth, Felix, Hilda, and Ferdinand raised their hands.

“We know who is still opposed.” Byleth said. “No need to raise your hands. Our vote wins and I’ll be fighting. Better luck next time, Your Highness….” She smirked at him. He felt his anger rise again and wished they were alone so he could yell at her, shake her... kiss her. His heart was racing, and he realized it was not only anger he felt. He wanted to sweep all the maps off the table and take her, claim her as his once more, even with the rest of the war council watching. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks and hoped everyone would attribute it to outrage and not his adolescent desires returning uninvited. 

“Now can we get back to the important stuff, please.” Byleth continued, oblivious to the effect she had on him. It was just like being her student all over again. “Felix, can you give a report on what your father wrote to you.” Dimitri sat up straighter. Lord Rodrigue had written to Felix?

Felix nodded. “Yeah, so my old man says he can have reinforcements for us at the end of next moon. He wants to meet up with us in Ailell for the exchange. I move, we do that.”

“I oppose. Ailell lies on the border between Kingdom territory and Alliance territory but humans dare not approach that place.” Gilbert said. “I do not believe it is a good idea for us all to travel there. The temperature is extremely hot, especially for any soldiers from the colder Kingdom territories.”

“We don’t all have to go. We can take a small group. It’s only a soldier exchange and it’s in an area where the enemy won’t think to look for us.” Felix replied. “If you think it’s going to be too hot for you, you can always stay behind, Gilbert.”

“I second Felix. He is right. In Ailell we can meet up with the reinforcements without our enemy ever finding out.” Dimitri said. “Fraldarius is even further north than Fhirdiad. If Lord Rodrigue can handle the heat, so can we.”

“Great. All in favor.” Felix called for the vote, which only Gilbert voted against. “I guess we’re going. I’ll write and let him know. I wonder what my old man will say when he sees you now, Boar. That spectacle alone will be worth the trip.”

Dimitri hmphed and looked at Byleth. She was writing something and had a small smile on her face. He wondered what she was thinking about. He remembered a time when her smiles were directed at him. He wondered what would have happened if she had not fallen in that battle. She said Sothis told her she was already pregnant when she fell. What if she had not chased after Rhea? Where would they be now? Married with four-year-old children, perhaps. It was foolish to wonder, but he could not help himself. He noticed the meeting was coming to an end and realized he had spent the rest of it staring at her and he could not remember one word of what was said in the last half hour. He struggled to find the thread of the conversation and scowled when he discovered that in the time that he was daydreaming of their past, she was gambling their future and had convinced the others to let her be the bait for the impending attack. Without paying attention, he had voted to allow it.

***

Manuela was in the infirmary doing inventory on her medicines so she could give Byleth an accurate count of what needed to be ordered, when Dimitri walked through the doors. He did not look happy.

“Your Highness, what brings you in?” Manuela asked, fearing the worst. 

He sat in one of the chairs and levelled his gaze at her. “How could you clear Byleth for battle? Aren’t you her doctor? Shouldn’t you be telling her she needs to stay safe?”

“Ah, so you heard about that.” Manuela grinned. She was relieved that he was there about Byleth and not coming to ask about his dagger again on his wretched uncle’s orders. “I assure you, I did a very thorough assessment and she passed. She is in no more danger on the battlefield than anyone else. I would say she is in considerably less danger than anyone else, actually. But I can’t discuss any specifics with you without her permission.”

“Why not? If she is carrying my children, do I not have the right to know about their care?” 

“Once they are born, yes. Right now, so long as they reside in her, their care is her care and she has the right to privacy if she wants it, as do you. I would assume you are not comfortable with me discussing your treatment with her.” 

Dimitri shook his head. “No. I do not want her to know how bad things are with me…” He looked down. She hadn’t had a lot of conversations with him, but she could tell there was more he wanted to say, so she kept silent and waited. “Professor Manuela, I cannot lose her again. I do not want her fighting.”

“I know. Truthfully, I don’t want any of you fighting. It makes my job a lot harder. However, this is war, and it must be fought. Right now, she is perfectly capable of fighting. If at some point she isn’t, I will tell her.” She sighed, unsure if she should voice her concern. It would not change things but having the conversation could still be helpful. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Of the two of you, I would think being in battle is actually more dangerous for you.”

“For me?!” He scowled, which she expected. 

“Yes. Much of the trauma you have experienced has been in battle or caused by violence. Things may happen out there that will trigger your anger or feelings of self-harm. It may bring out the ghosts. That worries me.” Manuela steepled her fingers and looked at him. If she thought for a second that he would heed her order, she would tell him to refrain from fighting. “I won’t tell you not to fight. I doubt you would listen if I did. All I will ask is that you be careful. Do battle with your body and your mind; try to leave your emotions out of it as much as possible. And if any situations come up that trigger you, come see me afterwards and we can talk about them.” 

He nodded, said nothing else, and left the infirmary. She wondered how receptive he and Byleth would be to sitting down for a dual counseling session and made herself a note to ask Byleth at her next appointment. 

***

The week passed quickly. Byleth all but ignored him. He did not see her in the dining hall or the training grounds, both of which he frequented now. She had to be avoiding him on purpose. The only place he saw her was at the war meetings and he was sure that she fixed it so that the only seat available when he arrived was on her left, keeping her in his blind spot, with at least one person between them, usually Felix. He tried voting with her. He tried voting against her. He agreed and he argued, and she ignored him either way. He cycled between her behavior making him angry and breaking his heart. Manuela told him to give Byleth space, like she was giving him space. He did not understand why it was so difficult for them to talk to each other when it used to come so easily. It was frustrating. He was more than ready to take out some of his frustrations on the Imperial soldiers who on their away. He looked to the sky to see a wyvern approaching.

Caspar’s wyvern landed next to Byleth. “They are almost to the tree line. They should be at the village wall in about ten minutes.”

“The fire attack is ready! All mages are in position!” Gilbert yelled. “Now to draw the enemy’s attention.”

“On it!” Byleth yelled, turning her horse toward the wall. “Everyone else in your ambush positions. Once the fire is lit, take them out.” 

Dimitri watched her ride away and had to squash down the urge to run after her. This was the plan. He would stick to it. The first wave of their attack was all magical, which meant he had to wait until the second wave of attack. He was not good at waiting. The minutes that passed felt like hours. He closed his eye to listen for her horse returning. When he heard it, he looked up in time to see her dismount. She was standing in position in the middle of the street surrounded by the burned-out shells of buildings. He heard the roar of the soldiers following her before he saw them. Byleth stood still as a statue as they approached. His heart was beating wildly. If their plan did not work, she would be killed. This was idiocy. He moved to go to her, when she raised her sword in the air, giving the signal and the onslaught began. 

From atop a nearby building, Dorothea released a Meteor spell right into the middle of the advancing troop. Next to her, Lysithea used various spells to draw them all into the area where they wanted them. Then Byleth, with Mercedes, Sylvain, Leonie, and Hanneman all released Ragnarok spells into the troop as Ferdinand, Caspar, Linhardt, Raphael, Alois and Flayn shot Fire spells at the buildings surrounding them. Cyril, Shamir, Petra, Seteth, Annette, and Ashe used careful bursts of Wind to spread the fire until there was a ring of fire around them. Dimitri smelled the smoke and felt the heat from the flames. He closed his eye and took deep breaths like Manuela had instructed him to do. This was not Duscar. This was not Duscar. 

Dimitri rushed forward and began to engage with the first soldier he came across, dispatching him quickly. He looked through the smoke and chaos, trying to find Byleth. He saw her, surrounded by Imperial troops. Felix was nowhere to be seen. He yanked his lance from the body of a second soldier and turned to strike another, while moving steadily in her direction. As he made progress toward her, he watched her, in awe. 

She was fighting in a frenzy, her sword lashing out at any soldier foolish enough to advance on her. One such fool tried to block her sword with his lance, thinking he would have the advantage. Dimitri watched as his crest, two crests of Blaiddyd, lit up in gold directly above her. She blocked the incoming lance with her bare left hand, wrenching it from the soldier’s grasp and shattering it, while slicing into him with the sword in her right. The remaining troops around her took steps back and she advanced on them pushing them closer to the flames. The flames, just like in Duscar, where he had first lost everything. And Byleth was recklessly running through them with no regard for herself or the children she carried. His children. That was _his_ crest that was activating above her. There was no denying now that it was his children she carried. 

Dimitri heard an enemy voice amid the throng. “All units retreat! I’ll take on our pursuers! Carry away the injured soldiers!” The voice sounded like it was under water. He could focus on nothing but Byleth and the crest of Blaiddyd that flashed above her repeatedly, like fireworks. 

“ _You could have a family again, Your Highness. You could build a new family with her.”_ Dedue said. 

“ _You won’t have a family with her if you don’t protect her! You lost her to Solon’s spell, you lost her when she fell off the cliff...how many times do you plan on letting her die?! One of these times, she may not come back.”_ Sir Jeralt roared at him. 

Dimitri ran to where she was, grabbed her by the upper arm, and pulled her behind a building, away from the flames and retreating Imperial soldiers. "Byleth! Get down! Where is Felix? He was supposed to be watching over you. Are you trying to get yourself and our children killed?!"

"Let go of me!” She snatched her arm out of his grasp. “Obviously not. And I don’t need a babysitter. I sent Felix to back up Ingrid and Sylvain; they needed the help more than I did. I handled myself just fine on my own. I know what I’m doing.” She turned away from him and peeked around the corner of the building. “Besides, why would you even care if we were all killed? That's what you wanted, right? For me to get rid of them, for me to leave you alone?" 

Her words struck him. That is not what he wanted, at all. Before he could respond she was moving away. He followed. 

“I think I see Randolph up ahead. He looks just like Caspar but with brown hair.” Byleth moved to advance toward Randolph, back towards the flames. She stopped to tussle with a retreating Imperial battalion. Dimitri shadowed her, his veins filling with rage as they fought. He did not understand why she would not listen to him. The Imperial troops were starting to retreat, she did not need to be out there fighting any longer. But he knew her, she would not be satisfied until she knew every enemy soldier had retreated or died. She was still trying to keep them all safe at her own expense. He shouted to his own troops for backup.

“Chase them down! Leave none standing. Eliminate them before they can regroup." He grit his teeth. “I will deal with the general.”

"Yes, Your Highness!" Gilbert yelled at the troops surrounding them. "You heard him, go!"

Satisfied that they would help Byleth take care of the stragglers, he advanced on Randolph. “So many units and you still cannot defeat us. The Empire’s generals are not as formidable as I had heard.” Dimitri sneered at him, levelling his lance at the much shorter man. 

“Quiet! Don’t think you’ll get away with mocking me!” Randolph raised his sword. He was obviously tired, possibly injured. “We heard about a one-eyed demon...So, it’s you. You’re the one who’s been going around killing the Imperial troops!”

“If the Imperial troops stayed in the Empire and out of territory that does not belong to them, they would not have to worry about me killing them.” Dimitri growled back, circling him. 

“You bastard! Life is worthless to you, isn’t it?!” Randolph spat at him and lunged with his sword pointed at his chest. 

Dimitri dodged easily and laughed. His life was worthless and so was Randolph’s, along with every other Imperial soldier who dared to attack on land they had no claim to and taking lives they had no right to take. All on that woman’s orders. “You took the words from my mouth, general! Both of our lives are forfeit. If one of us falls here it would be a fitting end for monsters like us.”

“I am nothing like you!” 

“Wait! Capture him! He could have valuable information that would help us.” Ferdinand said, stepping up to Dimitri’s side.

“Very well. It looks like you get a reprieve, general. For now.” Dimitri stepped back as a spell from Lysithea restrained Randolph while Caspar stepped forward to put cuffs around his uncle’s wrists. 

“Caspar! What are you doing here?! Why are you fighting against your own people? Against our cause?” Randolph asked him, with eyes wide. 

“You know I left Bergliez years ago! And I left because I don’t believe in the Emperor’s cause or her methods! You are fighting on the wrong side Uncle Randolph.” Caspar stepped closer to him. “Help us. Help us stop her and put an end to this war.”

“I would rather die than betray my Emperor.” Randolph said, standing up straighter. 

Dimitri stepped up to them. His shadow covered them both. He looked down at Caspar. “Leave the prisoner to me. I will get him to talk or grant him his wish.” He looked around at the rest of the resistance troops. “The rest of you make sure there are no enemy soldiers left hiding and take care of this fire. We do not need it spreading.” He pulled Randolph into an abandoned building and forced him to his knees. 

“Wait...I have family waiting for me...please. I can’t die here…” Randolph begged.

“That is quite a change in tone.” Dimitri sneered down at him. “A beast of your depravity, prattling on about family after you just professed you would die out of loyalty to a monster like Edelgard.”

“As though you could understand such things as loyalty or love...you heartless monster.”

“You are a monster too, General Bergliez. You have just yet to realize it. As a general you must have killed countless souls without a shred of mercy. Do you still remember the sound of them begging, just as you are begging now? Or now that your life is at its end, will you hold to the lie that your hands are not as stained red with blood as mine?”

“This...this is war. I did what I had to do for the Empire...for the people...for my family!”

Dimitri laughed. “So, you are piling up corpses for the people and for your family. Well I am doing the same for the salvation of the dead...After all is said and done, we are both murderers. Both stained. Both monsters. We are the same.”

“You’re wrong!”

“Am I? I can smell the rotting flesh upon your hands even now, General.”

“Enough! That’s enough! Kill me if that is what you mean to do!” 

“I will not kill you right away. Not if you have information you would like to give us. Otherwise, yes. I will allow you to die, after watching your friends die, one...by...one... all because of your blind loyalty to your murderous emperor!” Randolph looked down, tears falling from his eyes. If you would rather not watch, I will do you the honor of removing your eyes first so that -”

“Dimitri, stop!” He felt himself be pushed back as though he had been hit by a large boulder, but it had been Byleth who pushed him and was now standing before the kneeling general with her sword at his throat.

“General Randolph Bergliez, I am the acting Archbishop of the Church of Seiros. I oversee this land you have invaded. Do you have any information you would be willing to give us in exchange for status as a prisoner of war?” 

He shook his head. “No. I do not.” His voice was a whisper. 

She sighed. She was hoping he would comply so she wouldn’t have to kill him. Still, killing him was better than letting Dimitri torture him. “You understand that refusal of prisoner status would mean your life ends here?” 

“I understand.” He nodded and looked at her. His brown eyes flitting back towards where Dimitri stood for a moment before meeting her green ones once more. “Thank you.”

“Very well.” She cleared her throat. ‘Then as a matter of military necessity and to spare you unnecessary suffering, I sentence you to die for your crimes here today. For aiding the empire with the unjust invasion and conquering of neighboring lands during a time of peace and starting the war that has claimed thousands of lives. Do you have any last words?”

“Fleche...Please forgive me…” Randolph lowered his head and Byleth raised her sword. 

“May the goddess have mercy on your soul.” She swung her sword and the general's head hit the ground followed shortly by his body. Byleth walked out of the building, not sparing Dimitri another glance or word. He followed, grabbed her by the hand, and pulled her into a neighboring building.

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked. “I said I would handle the general!”

“I couldn’t bear to watch you torture him. This is war, killing is inevitable, but torture is unacceptable. One day it might be one of us that is facing death at the hand of an enemy and I would hope they would make it quick. It is the honorable thing to do.” Byleth shook her head and looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a week. “I miss the Dimitri I once knew. He understood the concept of showing mercy to our enemies.”

“I have told you before. The Dimitri you once knew is dead! He was thrown in prison and tortured! He was shown no mercy from his enemies, therefore I show none for mine anymore. All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you. If you do not approve of what I have become, then kill me.”

She took a step towards him. How could she have forgotten that he had been tortured? “You know I can’t do that.” 

“If you insist you cannot…” He took a step closer to her, looking down at her. “Then I will continue to use you and your friends until I either get my vengeance, or the flesh falls from your bones! I will torture and kill whoever I have to in order to take her head.” 

He was so close. His voice tore through her, setting every hair on edge. His words should have scared her, repulsed her; they didn’t. They excited her. She’d held back in every interaction they had since the day she returned, but she could not hold back any longer. She grabbed the fur of his cloak with both hands and pulled him toward her. His eye widened in surprise. She wondered what he would do if she pulled his face towards her and kissed him. She pictured him returning her kiss roughly and backing her up against the wall. But she didn’t want to kiss him. Not when he was like this. Not when she was still so angry with him. She hesitated. Dimitri grabbed her wrists and pulled away. 

“What are you doing?!” He growled.

The twin Blaiddyd crests flashed, and she easily twisted her hands out of his grasp. She tangled them in his hair and pulled. He grunted as she pulled him flush against her, leaning on the wall for stability. She pulled him even closer, her mouth against his ear, whispering. “You want to use me?” He sighed loudly and she enjoyed the feeling of him succumbing to her. “What if I want you to use me? Right here and now.” 

He groaned. “You do not want that…”

“I do. What if I did this...” Her fingers felt for the spring latch of his codpiece and tripped it. The piece of armor fell to the ground with a soft clang, landing on the dirt floor as she put her arms around his neck and hoisted herself up, wrapping her legs around his waist as she kissed his neck before returning to his ear. “Would you take what’s yours? Take me...use me?”

He snaked his hand underneath her and held her up as he ground himself against her, pushing her against the wall. She moaned against his shoulder. He lifted her up, so their faces were even and pushed his head against hers. "Are you sure you want this? With me? Not the Dimitri you once knew...me?" He asked through gritted teeth, holding her tighter. "I might hurt you. I have already hurt you."

"My body currently carries a major crest of flames and two major crests of Blaiddyd...you literally can't hurt me." 

“I did not mean physical pain.” 

“Who do you think you’re talking to, Dimitri? Before I was the Archbishop, before I was a professor, I was the Ashen Demon. I know how to turn my emotions off. Right now, I don't care how much you've hurt me or what an asshole you've been...right now, I just want you." He bent his head down and aimed to kiss her, but she turned her head, so his kiss landed on her neck. She gasped at the feel of his tongue on her throat and squeezed her legs around him more tightly.

She didn't just want him. She craved him like she did the tomatoes she couldn’t seem to stop eating. Indulging in this craving was all she wanted, even though she knew it was a bad idea. Even though she was still furious about what he said when she told him she was pregnant. At that moment she didn't care. She took her hands from around his neck, trusting him to hold her up, grabbed one of his hands, and removed the gauntlet and glove, dropping them on the floor with the discarded codpiece. “Touch me.”

He moved his hand between them, reaching under her dress and pressing his fingers against her through her shorts. She moaned at his touch and wanted more. He kept trying to kiss her and she kept deflecting him to her chin, her neck, anywhere but her lips. Her head was swimming. She heard Manuela telling her to be smart, she heard her dad telling her to never be with a man who disrespected her, she heard Leonie tell her she deserved better, she heard Felix tell her Dimitri was a lost cause. She heard Sothis…

_"Byleth, I know you want him, but he isn't himself right now. And frankly, neither are you. Don’t do something you'll both regret."_

She ignored them all and reached down to stroke him. He stilled and put her down quickly. 

"No. Stop." He took a step away. "I cannot do this...I cannot give you what you want. Not like this. Most of the time you refuse to even look at me. You do not _really_ want me. I can feel your anger…You will not even let me kiss you.” She leaned on the wall and looked up at him. He was flushed but looked defeated. 

Tears filled her eyes. “You’re right. I’m still so angry. I want you...but I don’t at the same time. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have…”

He shook his head. “Do not apologize to me. I do not blame you. I am broken, sullied...an inhuman monster. I am cursed. You deserve better than me." He dropped his gaze to her stomach. "All of you deserve better than me." He bent to pick up his dropped armor and glove.

“Wait!” She grabbed his bare hand and put it to her chest. “You say you’re a monster; what does that make me? I’m not even fully human, remember? And I’ve killed just as many people in the name of war and battle as you have, if not more. If anyone is a monster here, it’s me.” He swallowed, pursed his lips together. “If an inhuman monster like me can be their mother, what makes you think you can’t be their father? You aren’t cursed and neither are they.” She stared at him as he stared down at her stomach and knew that if her heart could beat it would be thundering under his hand. “We don’t deserve better than you, we deserve you...” He shook his head and moved his hand from her cold heart, clenching it into a fist at his side. “Why not, Dimitri?”

“I do not know why.” He said. “I just know I am not worthy of it.”

She took a deep breath, reached out and lifted his chin so he was looking at her face. “That’s because there is no reason. You keep saying the old you is dead, but that’s impossible. There is no old you, there’s no new you, there is just you...and I miss you, Dimitri. Please, come back to us. Come back to me and we can figure everything else out.” 

He stared at her, not saying anything. After a few moments of silence, he pulled her into his embrace and bent to press a gentle kiss on the top of her forehead. She felt his tears fall on her face. “I am sorry, I cannot do that. Not right now.” 

Then he was gone. Walking away from her again. “Predictable.” She slid to the ground and sobbed into her hands until she was interrupted by Felix a few moments later. 

“By, are you hurt?” She shook her head. “Good. Now, next time you stay by me so I can protect you and heal you if you need it! That was the deal we made to have you in battle. We can’t have you running off to chase a wild boar!” Byleth sobbed harder. “I saw him stomping out of here, that’s why I knew where to find you. What happened?”

She struggled to catch her breath and answer. “We got into an argument, that’s all.”

He sighed. "Do you want to go back to the monastery?"

She shook her head again. “Not yet.”

"Okay." With that Felix sat down against the wall next to her leaning his head on her shoulder. They sat in silence for a while.

" _I like him."_ Sothis said. _“What are we going to do about the other one?”_

“I really don’t know.” Byleth shrugged. Felix looked at her strangely. She pointed at her head. “Sorry, I was...answering Sothis.” 

Felix raised an eyebrow at her. “Sothis…still so weird that you can talk to her.”

“She said she likes you.” Byleth’s breathing began to even out. 

Felix laughed. “If this is my life with her liking me, I’d hate to see the alternative.” He looked at her. “What did you argue with the boar about?”

“The usual. Revenge, torture, our relationship and whether we will ever be able to fix it…” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You’ll figure it out. You’re a master tactician, remember.” Felix grinned, standing up and helping her to her feet. “Come on, let’s head back.” 

They walked back to Garreg Mach in silence, the haze from the remaining smoke from the fire hanging heavy in the air. She had tried giving Dimitri space. She tried being mad and not being mad - she had even begged. She was done. It was time to give up. She took a deep breath and put her hand on her stomach. She would be strong for her babies on her own and give up the dream of a man who could not, would not even try, to pull himself together. If she had to raise them on her own, she could. She would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter killed me. I had one part written a long time ago, but the unwritten part just did not want to come out onto the page. I'm happy with the finished product though, and I hope you are too!
> 
> Comments loved and appreciated as always! 
> 
> Like seriously, my beta was at my house when I posed the other night and as the comments started to come in and I read them, she can attest to the goofy grin on my face. Let me know what you like and what you don't like. Any characters you want to see more of?


	24. Two Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and the gang go to dinner after a lecture. Leonie and Felix ask two questions. Dimitri makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! Man, the last chapter got some fun reactions! On one side we have #teamDimitri who feel we have to protect him at all costs and on the other side we have #teamByleth who agree that a woman is allowed to feel her feelings if her man is being a jerk. As for me...I'm #teamDimileth. I want them both to be happy, but not at the expense of each other, because they are both going through some heavy stuff. Anyway, enjoy this update that took me way too long to write!
> 
> Song for this Chapter: "All I've Ever Known" from Hadestown the Musical!

Felix stole glances at Byleth as they walked back to Garreg Mach in silence. She had stopped crying, but he could tell she was still upset. The way she was holding herself, he could also tell she was tired. It wouldn’t be the best time for him to yell at her, but he wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer. He could feel his agitation rising with every step. He had stomped into that building after watching Dimitri leave it with every intention of screaming at her for leaving his side when he found her. Then he found her, and she was sobbing on the floor, so he only managed a short scolding instead of the full-fledged lecture he wanted to give her. 

All the crying was still weird to see, coming from her. After her dad died, she cried a lot, but once she was done with the initial grief period he didn’t see her cry again until she came back. Now she cried all the time. Sylvain loved to tease him about what a cry-baby he had been in his younger years. He had worked hard to learn how to stamp down his emotions. It was a good thing he would never know what it was like to be pregnant. He would hate to have so little control over his emotions again.

He knew that she was upset about whatever argument she’d had with Dimitri. He was probably off somewhere being upset about it too. Felix huffed in frustration. Between Byleth and the boar, they were going to kill him from sheer annoyance. They were both idiots. All they needed to do was sit and actually talk to each other and he was sure they could figure out their crap so they could focus on winning this war. He looked at Byleth again and briefly considered asking if she wanted him to carry her the rest of the way. Walking this slow was a real test for him. When at long last they finally reached the monastery, Leonie was waiting for them just inside the gate. 

“There you are! Thank the goddess!” She pulled Byleth into a hug. 

“Don’t hug her; we’re mad at her, remember?” Leonie released Byleth and they all walked through the mostly empty marketplace. “Listen, we really need to talk.” 

“Ok…What are we talking about?” Byleth asked.

“You, being an idiot.” Leonie said, crossing her arms.

“Oh.” She sighed. “Well can we at least eat something while you yell at me? I’m feeling kind of weak and really hungry.” She turned to head toward the dining hall. They didn’t follow.

“You’re weak and hungry because you overdid it out there! I’m not joking around, Byleth. We’re really pissed at you.” He closed the distance between them and grabbed her upper arm to stop her. “You were supposed to wait in position for me to come to you and back you up. You didn’t. What if you had gotten hurt?”

She stopped walking but pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Look, I’m sorry I ran off. I know I was supposed to stay with you...but... everything turned out ok. I’m fine.”

“Stop talking and listen.” He crossed his arms. “You got lucky. Sure, you didn’t get hurt, but what if you had? 

“Just because you’re impervious to magic and can dodge and counter weapons, that doesn’t make you invincible!” Leonie yelled. “What if someone hit you with something from behind? You can’t dodge what you can’t see.” 

Felix scoffed. “I can tell you what would have happened. You’d have an arrow or an axe in your back with nobody to heal you. It was my job to watch your back and you didn’t let me do my job!”

“You’re right I-”

“I know we’re right!” Leonie screamed.

“I’m sorry I-.”

“I don’t fucking care if you’re sorry! I need to know that you aren’t going to do it again! I swear I will go to Manuela and ask her to take your battle clearance away or call for the vote to keep you off the battlefield myself!” Felix was screaming. He needed to calm down. He’d seen how she responded to screaming all the times the boar roared at her. He took a deep breath. “I’m worried about you. You seem a little self-destructive these days. It reminds me of someone else we know. Are you going to blame his crest for that too?”

She shook her head. “It’s my fault. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. I don’t know what to say to fix it. I feel like I’ve said and done all the wrong things today.” Her eyes filled with tears. 

“Don’t you dare start crying again!” Felix took a step closer to her. “All you need to say is that you won’t be reckless and run off on your own on the battlefield again.” 

“I won’t”

“You won’t what?” Leonie asked.

“I won’t be reckless and run off on the battlefield again.” She looked between them. “I promise you both, I won’t do it again.”

“Good. I may not lead a battalion, but everyone knows that a good leader protects their troops.” He pointed to her stomach. “Those are your troops to protect Byleth. They have no protection on the battlefield except what they get from you. You need to remember that, or you’ll do what bad leaders do and get your troops killed making mistakes that could be easily avoided.”

“I’ll keep my troops safe from now on, I swear.” She stepped away from them, shaking her head. “Goddess, I’ve been so mad at Dimitri for saying he didn’t want the babies and trying to keep me from fighting that I put them in danger just to spite him. I’m just as bad as he is. Worse!” 

“What do you mean he doesn’t want them?” Felix asked, narrowing his eyes. 

“When did he say that?” Leonie asked.

Byleth sighed. “The night I told him I was pregnant...he told me to get rid of them. Because he and his entire line are cursed or something.” She shook her head. “The point is he told me to get rid of them and when I said he couldn’t possibly mean that he told me very clearly that he did.”

“He told you to get rid of them?!” What an asshole!” Leonie said with a huff. “Wait though...didn’t you say he was voting to keep you off the battlefield to keep you and the babies safe? Obviously, he didn’t mean it when he told you to get rid of them. Or maybe he changed his mind?”

“Or maybe he was just trying to piss me off. Even if he doesn’t want me to get rid of them anymore that doesn’t mean he wants them. He literally just told me that. He says we deserve better than him. So I begged him to come back to me so we can make this work and he said no.” Byleth said. Felix noticed she had started crying again. “I give up. There’s only so much rejection a person can take.”

“I get that, but you can’t give up. I mean...It’s only been a week since you told him. He probably needs more time. You need more time. This is a crazy situation for the both of you. Didn’t Manuela say you should give each other space?” Felix asked. 

“Yes, but...what’s going on here? Why are you defending him? You guys are _my_ friends, you are supposed to be on _my_ side.” 

“I’m not on anyone’s side. You’re both idiots.” Felix rolled his eyes. 

“I’m on your side, By.” Leonie said, placing her hand on Byleth’s shoulder. “If you want me to tell you he’s an asshole, I can do that. He’s being an asshole. But I don’t see how pointing that out is going to help. I can’t just tell you what you want to hear when it might not be the truth.”

“The truth?” Byleth huffed out a laugh. “The truth is he doesn’t want me.”

“Or that he isn’t ready to admit that he does. Remember what Manuela said, he is not ok right now.” Leonie said.

“Neither am I! Ugh...can we just...drop this until I can eat something, please? I’m starting to get dizzy.” Byleth said, walking toward the dining hall again. They got to the steps leading to it and saw Dimitri being pulled inside by Sylvain and Ingrid. “On second thought, maybe I’m not hungry.”

“Don’t be stupid, you need to eat.” Leonie said, trying to pull her up the stairs. “We’ll just sit far away from them.”

Felix wasn’t interested in watching Byleth mope and pine over the boar all through dinner. He remembered seeing that a few of the eateries in the village had opened back up when they walked through. “Wait...I have an idea. Let’s go have dinner in the village. Leonie you go get Raph, I’ll see if I can convince Bernie, and we can all go eat and get your mind off things.” Byleth nodded excitedly. “Meet at the gate in twenty minutes.”

Felix rushed through the dormitories toward the room he shared with Bernadetta. He knocked four times before unlocking the door - their signal letting her know it was him so she wouldn’t be startled. 

She was startled anyway. “Felix!” She grabbed and held a pillow up in front of herself. “I’m changing! Close the door!”

“It’s closed.” He smirked, engaging the lock. “And I’ve seen you far more undressed than that.” He laughed as he caught the pillow, which she had thrown at him, and tossed it on the bed. “Are you up to going out to dinner tonight in the village? Us, Byleth, Leonie and Raph?” He started to take off his armor and get cleaned up, knowing it would take a while for her to answer him. 

Bernadetta hummed a high-pitched note as she thought about it. “I don’t know...I already went outside for the battle today and that was really hard.” She slipped her tunic on over her shorts and started fidgeting with her hair. “The battle went well for us, so... don’t you think we’d be tempting fate if we left the monastery again?! Something bad is bound to happen, right? It would be so much safer to just stay here.” She chewed on her lip. “Or – you could go without me!...Oh, but you’ll hate me if I don’t go, won’t you?!”

He shook his head and walked up to her, holding her hands in his. “Bernie...deep breaths.” He inhaled and exhaled with her slowly a few times. “I know battle days are hard for you. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I definitely won’t hate you; I love you.” He kissed her on the cheek. “I am going to go though. We’re trying to cheer Byleth up. She had another argument with the boar and then we yelled at her.”

“Oh no. Poor professor...and His Highness too. Can’t we just...lock them in a room together until they learn to get along?”

“What is it with you Varleys and thinking locking people up in rooms fixes any and all problems?” Felix pulled on a clean shirt. 

“Felix! You know that’s not what I meant.” She hid her face in her hands. “I just meant I wish they could find a way to get along.”

“You and me both, sweetie.” He pulled her hands from her face and pulled her in for a kiss. “Come to dinner with me. Please?”

She sighed. “Ok…but if we get murdered, I’m blaming you.”

***

Half an hour later they found themselves sitting at the same restaurant Byleth had taken both Dimitri and Felix to for their birthdays five years prior. She was happy to see they were back in business and told herself she should come to dine at least once a week to help make sure they stayed afloat. They placed their orders. Everyone was having ale with whiskey on the side, except for her. She was having tea; which Leonie thought was hilarious for some reason. As they waited for the server to bring their drinks and chicken, spicy for Byleth and Felix, mild for everyone else, she leaned on Leonie’s shoulder and yawned. She was exhausted. Her limbs felt heavy and she could barely keep her eyes open or concentrate on the conversation around her. It was normal to feel a little tired after battles, but this felt different. She had an appointment with Manuela the next day, she’d make sure to ask her about it. 

Leonie raised her glass in a toast when their drinks and food came. “To my best friend, Byleth. May she keep her promise and not do anymore stupid things in battle that could get her, and our godchildren killed.”

“Here, here!” Raphael said, tipping his glass back and looking at his wife. “What do godparents do anyway?” Leonie shrugged. 

Felix slammed his whiskey glass down once it was empty. “She better not do anything like that again. I’m going to get Lysithea to teach me how to Warp by our next fight so I can throw you off the battlefield next time you piss me off.” 

“Um...Warp is really hard to learn. It might take you a long time. But I know Rescue so I can always yank her back if you need me to until you master it.” Bernadetta said. She took a sip of her whiskey and grimaced. 

“Yes!” Felix slapped both of his palms on the table. “New plan Byleth. Until I learn how to Warp, if you screw up again, I’ll sick my beautiful and terrifying Bernie on you.” Bernadetta blushed. 

Byleth laughed. She’d gotten an influx of energy once she started eating. “Thank you all for the loving mockery and threats. I get the point. No more leaving Felix’s side in battle.” She shook her head. “Honestly...I don’t know about being in battle at all. I felt great while I was fighting but afterward, I felt weird and incredibly tired.” Byleth looked at the chicken in her hand. "This chicken isn't nearly as spicy as I remember it but it’s the only reason that I’m not asleep right now."

"Speaking of chickens, Leonie says we're eating here because you’re too scared to run into His Highness in the dining hall." Raphael chuckled. "And here I thought you were fearless, Professor."

"I'm not afraid of him; we just need to stay away from each other. I make him angry; he makes me sad; I make him sad; he makes me angry...it's tiring and I’m over it." Byleth said, waving the server over. "Can I get a bowl of Gautier cheese sauce, please?"

"What's the cheese for?" Felix asked, smirking. “To go with your whine.”

Raphael spit the drink of ale had just taken back into his glass and laughed, choking. Leonie banged him on the back. “Breathe, babe. That was good Felix. Been hanging out with Alois since he got back?”

“I’m not whining. Just stating facts. We aren’t getting along. That is unlikely to change any time soon.” Byleth rolled her eyes and held up a piece of chicken. "And the cheese is for dipping my chicken in, obviously."

"Ew, Byleth" Leonie giggled. “That’s gross.” Byleth shrugged.

"So... wait...” Bernadetta said, her eyes a bit glassy and her cheeks flushed. “You don’t think you'll ever be able to get along with His Highness again? Like ever? That's so sad!!" 

Byleth shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. Even though the thought of never getting along with Dimitri again made her want to throw up all her chicken. "Honestly, it's fine. We just won’t be together. I've been thinking about it, and I have a plan." They all looked at her questioningly. "For what I'm going to do after the war is over."

"Won't you still be Archbishop when the war is over?" Felix asked.

Byleth shook her head. "Probably not. Not if we find Rhea." She really hoped they found Rhea. Not only because she was family, but because Byleth hated being in charge of the church. She just wasn’t good at it. The ceremonies made her uncomfortable and all the paperwork made her want to rip her hair out. If it weren’t for the “vessel of the goddess” stuff she would be the last person who would be chosen to hold the position.

Sothis yawned in her head. _“But you were chosen. And I think you are better suited for the job than Rhea. At least you offered that general prisoner status. She’d have killed him no matter what.”_

Byleth sighed as Felix handed her the bowl of cheese sauce across the table and asked the server for another round of drinks for everyone. She dipped the chicken in the cheese, took a bite and grinned. Heavenly.

"So, what's this grand plan of yours? I gather it doesn't involve being Queen of Faerghus?" Felix asked.

"No. It doesn't." She closed her eyes and thought about their conversation in the abandoned building. When she opened them again, they were full of tears, but she willed them not to fall. "Dimitri rejected me, ok. Multiple times. He doesn't want me. He has made that crystal clear." Byleth tore into a chunk of cheese-covered chicken. “Being with him is not an option anymore, so he doesn’t factor into my plan.”

“So, what is the plan? Don’t keep us in suspense.” Leonie asked. “Are you going to become a street performer?”

“I’d pay to see that.” Felix laughed. 

She had been giving the matter a lot of thought since telling Dimitri about the twins. It wasn’t so much what he said after she told him that struck her as what he said just before. He said he would probably die in the course of the war and that she should stop trying to imagine a future with him. Imagining a future without him was painful, but she had to be prepared if it came to that. She took a deep breath. “Once the war is over, I want to find what’s left of my dad’s old company and reform Jeralt’s Mercenaries. Take the twins and hit the road, just like my dad.”

“Sounds fun. Can I join?” Felix asked, grinning at Byleth. “My grandfather lived a really long time, so I figure my dad will too. That means I have a good twenty years to do whatever I want with my life before I have to take over as Duke Fraldarius.”

Byleth sat up and smiled. “Sure! The more the merrier!” She looked at Bernadetta. “What about you, Bernie? You don’t seem like you’d like life on the road as the wife of a traveling mercenary.” 

Bernadetta leaned over onto Byleth’s shoulder and blinked up at her in confusion. “Where are we going travelling to?”

Felix laughed and moved Bernadetta’s empty ale and whiskey glasses away from her. “No more refills for you, Bernie.” He turned his attention to Byleth. “She’ll will be fine on the road." Felix put his arm around his fiancé and pulled her away from Byleth to lean on him instead. She slumped onto his shoulder happily. "We’ll get her a tent, and she can stay in it most of the time. Or a covered wagon for her and the twins.”

“That’s a great idea, count us in too!” Leonie said, hugging Raphael’s arm. “You can’t have Jeralt’s mercenaries without Jeralt’s best apprentice.”

“You guys would seriously drop your plans and do this with me?” Byleth looked around the table. “Really?”

Felix looked at her as though she had sprouted a second head. “Of course not. I thought you were being sarcastic. I was just playing along. It’s a bad plan.” Byleth pouted. “The vessel of the goddess, former acting Archbishop, and mother to two Blaiddyd crested kids living life as an _anonymous_ traveling mercenary? That’s never going to happen, Eisner. You’re dreaming if you think you can go back to that.”

“Traveling for a living sounds more like a nightmare than a dream to me.” Bernadetta shivered. “You know, I once had a nightmare that I was being chased by a giant monster, but then he turned out to be really nice. Like you, Felix.”

Byleth scowled and turned to her best friend. “Were you just playing along too? You always wanted to be part of my dad’s mercenary company. You wouldn’t do this with me?”

“I was just telling you what you wanted to hear.” Leonie shrugged. “If there were no kids involved, I would be there with you in a heartbeat but...you can’t be serious about wanting to raise your kids as wandering mercenaries. Think about your childhood and how hard it was sometimes. Do you really want that kind of life for your kids?”

“What do you mean, that kind of life? My dad gave me a great life. I was happy back then. Things were simple.”

“Things were simple because you didn’t have emotions back then. I don’t think you were happy. Think about when we were little. You used to be so in awe that I had my own bedroom and went to school and had friends. You complained about getting up early, sleeping outside and eating bad food all the time. You said more than once that you wished your dad would settle somewhere so you could have a normal life."

"Ok, but…"

"You learned to fight too early. Killed too early. Captain Jeralt was a great father; there is no doubt that he did a fantastic job. But you can’t pretend that mercenary life is an ideal environment for raising a kid. Much less two.” Leonie reached across the table and held her hand. “You know I love and support you no matter what, but if you actually try to do this, I will have to shatter your other knee to keep you from leaving.”

Byleth dropped her head onto the table. Leonie let go of her hand and patted her head. “What am I supposed to do then?” Byleth wailed into the table. 

“That’s easy…” Bernadetta yawned, closed her eyes, and snuggled closer to Felix. “Just like in a storybook, you have to fix things with His Highness, get married, and live happily ever after. You’re going to need a fairy godmother though, probably.”

Felix leaned over and kissed Bernadetta's forehead. “She’s drunk, but she’s not wrong. Why are you just giving up? Because you’re mad at him?”

“It isn’t just because I’m mad at him.” Byleth threw her chicken bone onto her plate. “You don’t understand.” Dimitri didn’t even plan on being alive at the end of this war, how could she realistically factor him into her plans? He was just going to leave her one way or another. It was easier to put up a wall and guard her heart. 

She took a sip of tea and a deep breath. “I don’t know how many times I have to say this before you believe me. I’m giving up because he doesn’t want to be with me, and he doesn’t want to be a father to his children. He said so himself. Repeatedly. I’m giving up because that’s what _he_ wants.”

“What about what you want?” Raphael asked.

“I know what I don’t want. I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me. If he gave me even the smallest inclination that he still wanted me, I could keep trying but....” Byleth sighed. “But the nicest thing he has said to me in weeks is that he doesn’t hate me. That doesn’t exactly inspire hope that everything will work out. Why should I keep trying when he has made it clear he doesn't want me to?”

“Because you have to!” Raphael said. “The two of you are just...supposed to be together. Everybody knows that.”

“Hey Byleth…Byleth..." Leonie patted her shoulder like she was trying to get her attention, even though Byleth was already looking at her. Being the only sober person at a table of drunk people was getting annoying.

"Yes, Leonie? What?"

"I’m going to ask you two questions.” Leonie held up three fingers. “I don’t want you to overthink the answers, and don’t lie to me because I’ll be able to tell. Are you ready?"

"Was that the first question?" Leonie looked at her, confused. Byleth sighed. "Yeah I'm ready, go."

"Question one...do you love Dimitri?”

All four stared at her. Byleth blushed, immediately and deeply, and opened her mouth before she could stop herself. “Yes.”

“Good, progress.” Leonie clapped her hands. “Question two...ideally, would you want to raise the twins with him?” 

Byleth bit her lip and looked down at her belly but didn't answer. Ideally...If they weren’t at war, yes. If he wanted her, yes. If he wasn’t planning on dying in this war, yes. But they are at war, a war he didn’t plan on surviving, and he didn’t want her. Somehow, with all of that, the answer was still yes. Raising the babies with him didn’t seem likely, or even possible, but she couldn’t deny that it was what she wanted.

“By...answer the question. No overthinking. First thought that pops into your head. Do you want to raise the twins with him?”

“Of course, I do.”

“I thought so.” Leonie smiled at her, leaning over on Raphael’s shoulder. 

“That’s why you have to keep trying, professor.” Raphael said, kissing Leonie’s head. “You gotta fight for what you want. His Highness may not be saying it or acting like it, but I’m pretty sure he still loves you.”

Byleth shook her head. “He doesn’t.”

“He does.” Felix said. “He has the same dopey look on his face any time he looks at you that he used to have all those years ago.” 

“He totally does.” Leonie agreed.

“His love is like the tropical pitcher plants in places like Brigid. They can be unattended for ten to twenty years and still grow and thrive.” Bernadetta mumbled. “But they’re carnivorous so you have to be careful around them or they’ll bite, but even if they do bite, they can’t hurt you.”

Byleth huffed out a laugh. "That was strangely poignant and beautiful, Bernie."

Felix kissed Bernadetta on the head and mumbled into her hair. "Everything about you is strangely poignant and beautiful." 

Bernadetta giggled. Byleth looked at them and was struck at how much all her former students’ lives had changed and she missed all of it. She didn’t even know everything that happened in her absence. It was like she fell and then woke up in an entirely different world. Even just her friends sitting at the table with her had changed in ways she never could have guessed. 

The people she left behind five years ago were not the people she sat with now. Bernie was so much more confident. And she seemed less anxious. She was out at a restaurant in the village the same day she participated in a battle. Five years ago, after battles she’d stay in her room for days. Felix was different too. He was never as openly affectionate with Annette as he was being with Bernadetta. It was like he finally found someone he was comfortable enough around to drop his guard a little. For Felix, that was no small feat. 

Byleth looked at Leonie and Raphael and was so sad to remember that they were married, and she had missed it. Their relationship, the engagement, the wedding. Things Leonie talked to her about wanting when they were younger and Byleth had not been there when any of it happened. It made her feel lonely in a way that she had never felt before. She was quiet through the rest of dinner, though the others were drinking enough that they didn’t notice.

As they walked back to the monastery she sat with her feelings of solitude and realized they weren’t new. Until Sothis woke up, her inability to connect with people meant she felt alone most of the time and she never even realized she was lonely because she didn’t have a name for it. It was like being cold all the time but not noticing because she’d never had warmth to compare it to. Then Sothis awoke the same day she met Dimitri and it felt like she suddenly stepped into the warmth of the sun for the first time. She started feeling things, connecting with him, connecting with everyone. And then she felt loss for the first time and kept losing. She never really felt the pain of her mother’s death until seeing her grave. Then she lost her father, lost Sothis, lost everyone when they all lost her for five years. Her chest was starting to feel tight and she was having trouble breathing. She remembered the feeling from when her father died. It was grief. She was in mourning for what she had lost in the time she missed. She was guarding herself against feeling the sorrow of what she might still lose in the future. 

***

Dimitri had managed to sleep at least a few hours each night since he started sleeping in Byleth’s old room. He knew, realistically, that there was no way the sheets still smelled like her, but it still seemed like they did. It was usually comforting but that night it just made him feel worse. He could still feel her lips on his neck, her breath in his ear, and what it felt like to hold her in his arms again. He was also still feeling the sting of the rejection he felt when he realized that despite trying to seduce him, she would not kiss him. 

_“It was probably only her hormones that led her to do the things she did.”_ Glenn said. _“She didn’t actually want you. You were just in the right place at the right time.”_

“I know.” Dimitri mumbled into his pillow. Besides the rejection, he felt something else. When Byleth had lowered her hand to try to touch his penis, he had frozen and was overcome by shame and fear. He was hit with the memory of the last person who had touched him intimately...Cornelia. Of all the things that she did to him that night, her mocking attempts at seducing him were by far the least physically painful, so he did not understand why he was still thinking about it now. He realized that in the five years that he was on the run, he never even touched himself, other than to wash, but he had not connected his lack of sexual appetite to what happened to him in that prison cell. He thought those inclinations were simply gone. His dormant desires had returned when Byleth did and yet he still did not touch himself. Something about Byleth touching him, even though he wanted her to, took him right back to Cornelia’s cold hands touching him, which brought back the memories of everything else that she did to him that night. It made his back hurt and he felt phantom pain in the eye he no longer had. He lost more than his eye in that cell. That night was the first time that he actively wished for death. It was not the last. He should probably mention it to Professor Manuela. 

“ _Why would you need to mention it to anyone?”_ His uncle said. “ _It is a shameful thing, and you should be ashamed that it happened. You are disgusting and Cornelia must have seen that in you. That is why she wanted you, however briefly. How can you live with yourself?”_

“Professor Manuela said I should ignore you, uncle.” He grumbled and turned over to lie on his back. “Leave me alone.” A knock on the door interrupted his uncle’s response. He considered ignoring it; there was not anyone he was interested in seeing anyway, except for the one person he was sure was not on the other side of the door. In the end, the persistent knocking was grating on his nerves and he stood and opened the door only to have Felix stumble into the room, since he had been leaning on the door while pounding on it relentlessly. 

“About time.” Felix said. “Were you asleep or something?”

“No.” Dimitri was confused. He had no idea why Felix would be there to see him, but there was something he wanted to talk to him about. He closed the door then crossed his arms. “You were supposed to be with Byleth on the battlefield and she ended up alone and surrounded. She said she sent you to back up Sylvain and Ingrid. How could you agree to that? Why would you abandon her?”

Felix blinked. “She didn’t send me anywhere. She ran off and I couldn’t find her in all the chaos. I didn’t find her until after the battle.”

“Why did she tell me she sent you to back up Sylvain and Ingrid then?”

“I don’t fucking know!” Felix scoffed. “I don’t understand half the things she does. If I had to guess, she probably didn’t want to admit to you that she disobeyed orders and ran off on her own.”

“I do not believe she cares that much about what I would think.”

“Well then you aren’t thinking what she’s thinking, because she thinks what you think is really important...I think.” Felix laughed, pulled out the desk chair, and sat down. 

Dimitri was reminded of the days when they were little, and his father and Lord Rodrigue would drink a bit too much and tell them stories about all sorts of things they should not have heard. “Felix...are you drunk?”

“No.” Felix shook his head. “Only just a little bit. It’s hardly noticeable. Sit down. I have to ask you something serious.” Dimitri sat on the bed and looked at him. “Ok...so like I said...I am a little bit drunk. Just drunk enough to come here and ask you two questions I would never, ever ask you otherwise. Don’t lie. I’ll be able to tell if you are lying to me because you’re a horrible liar. No overthinking, just your gut reaction answers. Can you do that?”

Dimitri had a feeling what the subject of the questions would be, and he did not want to talk about her, but he nodded anyway. 

“Good. Question one…” Felix stared at him and Dimitri swore he could feel Felix’s eyes boring into his face. “Do you love Byleth?” Dimitri sighed and opened his mouth, but Felix interrupted. “Not... do you think you deserve her, or do you think she loves you...just, do _you_ love _her_? Yes or no.”

“You already know the answer to that.” He looked down at his hands.

“Do I?” Felix crossed his arms. “I thought I did, but the last information I got on the subject makes me doubt what I know. Answer the question. Do you love her?”

“ _Don’t admit it! He’s only here to mock you!”_ Glenn said. 

“ _I do not see the harm in telling the truth if you believe he already knows the answer.”_ Dedue said. Professor Manuela had told him that he should try to listen to Dedue. 

“Yes. Of course I...of course I do.” Dimitri whispered. 

“Yeah...No shit.” Felix left the chair and sat on the bed next to Dimitri and slapped him on the back. “Everybody knows that. Except her, apparently…now the second question is harder. You’re going to want to go into a huge speech about it – but don’t. I don’t want to hear it. All I want is a simple yes or no.” 

Dimitri nodded. “I will try…”

“Good enough. Question two...ideally, would you want to raise the twins with her. Together, as a family?”

Dimitri shook his head. “There is too much – “

“Yes or no…”

“I am not deserving of – “

“Yes or no…”

“She does not want – “

“Dimitri! No excuses. No explanations. It’s a simple question about what you _want_. Do you want to raise your sons with her?”

Dimitri sat back and looked at Felix. His heart stopped. “Sons? Do you know for sure they are boys?”

Felix shrugged. “No, but they’re firstborn Blaiddyds, of course they’re boys. Stop changing the subject. You. Her. Kids. Together. Yes or no?”

Dimitri swallowed. Raising his children with Byleth by his side holding his hand – it would be a literal dream come true for him. But who was he that he should get to hold her or have a family with her? His father would tell him to say no because Dimitri was only a tool for revenge and had no right to decide to have a life of his own while Edelgard still walked the earth. Glenn would tell him it does not matter what he wants because Byleth does not want him. Patricia would tell him to keep his distance and not curse Byleth with his presence any further. Sir Jeralt would tell him he is not worthy to be a father to his grandchildren. His uncle would tell him that he will die in this war, that he will probably not even live to see the end of the war or see his sons be born, so what he wants is irrelevant.

Then he remembered what Dedue said to him earlier, when he saw his crest activate in Byleth during the battle. Dedue said they could be a family. He said Dimitri could build a new family with her.

“Boar! Answer the question; I’m getting bored.”

“Yes. If it was possible... I would want that.” 

“Fucking finally!” Felix shouted. “I swear between the two of you, you’re going to drive me crazy.”

Dimitri let out a loud exhale and felt like a giant weight had been lifted off his chest. It felt good to finally admit what he wanted out loud. He was always at such odds with himself, either listening to his ghosts and being focused only on his revenge or daydreaming about a future with Byleth instead of paying attention at war meetings. To think it was Felix of all people who helped him get to that point. “Why are you here, Felix? Drunk or not, this is not like you. You do not even care about me.”

Felix stood up and crossed his arms. “Excuse me? I don’t care about you? _I_ don’t care about _you_? Who the hell else spent the last five years looking for your dumb ass? Nobody, that’s who! Just me… plus, like I said in the meeting last week, it is my job to look after the royal family. That’s you. That’s your kids. That’s... Byleth eventually, I’m sure. You know – once you both get your heads out of your asses.”

“You have been so hostile to me for so many years.”

“I’m mean to everyone. Especially people I care about because... I’m a fucking albatross! That’s what I do!” Felix pointed at Dimitri. “And you’re one to talk about being hostile. You have been an absolute asshole to everyone for the last month and a half and you’re not an albatross, so you don’t even have an excuse. Bernie is right, you’re a pitcher plant!”

“I am a plant?”

“Yes, but the time for being a plant is over! Time to be a man. Forget about whatever bullshit argument you and Byleth had today. She has an appointment with Manuela tomorrow morning at the tenth bell. Be there when it’s over at half past ten and talk to Manuela together. Fight for what you want. Figure your shit out together before those kids are born.”

Dimitri nodded. “Thank you, Felix. I will think about it.”

“Don’t thank me; don’t think about it. Just stop being an idiot and be there. Show up!” Felix walked to the door and paused before leaving. “Remember, be a man...not a plant!”

Dimitri had no idea what Felix meant about not being a plant, but as he lay in bed waiting for sleep to find him, he thought about what it meant to be a man. He thought about the kind of man he wanted to be. His fading memories of his father, before he became a ghost, were of a fair, kind, and loving man. A man who was stronger and loved stronger than anyone Dimitri had ever known. He thought about Lord Rodrigue, the man he saw as a second father. He was also kind, compassionate, brave...the type of person who would reach his hand out to help save a lost soul. That was the type of man Dimitri wanted to be, not the wretch he was. It would be another month before he saw Lord Rodrigue again in person. The thought of him seeing how far he had fallen was enough to push him to make the decision. He would go to the appointment in the morning and prove he was strong enough to fight for what he wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next we have mental health hours with Manuela and our lovebirds will finally get a little bit of help!
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Leave me your comments! Good, bad, ugly...I love them all.


	25. Lonely Too Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to our show: Mental Health Hours with Manuela! Tonight's very special guests Byleth and Dimitri!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love dropping an update before going to bed. I get to sleep and wake up to all kinds of juicy comments! I hope you enjoy this one. It took me a long time to write it even though I knew almost everything I wanted everyone to say. I just wanted to do right by those two crazy kids. Your author *may* be a little to invested in these characters.
> 
> Title comes from the song for this chapter: Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars 
> 
> CW: Mentions of sexual assault in a therapeutic setting. Take care of yourselves. Better yet, find yourself a Manuela in your life to help take care of you!

_You’ve held your head up. You’ve fought the fight_

_You bear the scars. You’ve done your time._

_Listen to me_

_You’ve been lonely too long_

Manuela was preparing for her day when Felix walked in through the infirmary doors looking bedraggled.

"Felix, what can I do for you so early in the morning?" 

"Got anything for hangovers?"

"Advice. Eat something greasy and don't drink so much next time." She laughed and Felix winced.

"That's helpful." He scoffed and lay down on one of the beds. "Can I lie here till Byleth gets here for her appointment?" Manuela nodded and he made himself comfortable. "I did a stupid thing last night. Maybe stupid. Probably stupid." Manuela listened as he told her about the conversations he had with both Byleth and Dimitri the night before, including the two questions they had asked them and the answers they gave. “So, I told him to be here today at the end of Byleth’s appointment so you could talk to them both.”

“Well... that's not necessarily a stupid thing; I have been wanting to sit and try to counsel them both together. If anything, it might just not be the right time. From what you said, warm and fluffy conversations with you aside, the last conversation they had with each other was an argument. But we’ll see what Byleth says and deal with it if he shows up. I’m rather hoping he does.”

“Me too.” Felix closed his eyes and Manuela smiled at him. For all his snark, he really cared about his friends. She turned to her medicinal herbs and mixed him a tea blend to help with his hangover. By the time Byleth arrived, Felix was feeling much better. 

Manuela found herself distracted through much of the physical part of Byleth’s checkup, trying to find the right time to introduce the idea of couples’ counseling with His Highness. She finished writing down the newest measurements. Byleth was measuring a little big for nine weeks. Manuela originally had her due date as being the eleventh of the Horsebow Moon, but if the current trend continued, the babies might be born earlier. That wasn’t uncommon for twins, but she would need to keep an eye on it. 

“Everything looks good. Any new or worsening symptoms?” She asked.

“Actually, yes. Yesterday during the fight, the Blaiddyd crest activated a lot, and I felt great when fighting - strong and competent, but I was also not myself. I was rash and impulsive and by the time we got back here, I was exhausted…. I don’t think I should fight on the front lines anymore. I can still direct things and shout orders from the back. It’s just...” She put her hands on her stomach. “Not worth the risk. The rash and impulsive thing I did yesterday was only embarrassing, next time it could be something much worse.”

“I agree. I want you to take it easy and stay off the battlefield and, in the meantime, I’ll see if I can find something to help you mitigate the symptoms off the battlefield.”

“Can she still train?” Felix asked.

“She can for now. Just keep it light and if you feel tired stop right away.” Byleth nodded. “Has the crest activated any time you weren’t fighting?”

“Yes. After the fight. I was...arguing... with Dimitri and it went off then too.”

Manuela hummed in response. “Sounds like it is activating during moments of high adrenaline so far. Try to stay as calm as possible. Remember the breathing exercises we worked on.” She had Byleth take a few deep breaths and nodded. “Good...Now any other symptoms that Lord Rodrigue mentioned? Breaking things, increased appetite or fatigue?” 

Byleth nodded. “All of it. Luckily, the broken things have been only weapons so far.”

“Just wait.” Felix scoffed. “The boar broke all kinds of things when he was younger. It took him years to figure out how to control his strength and he still breaks shit.”

Manuela saw her opportunity. “Speaking of His Highness. There is something I wanted to ask you about, Byleth.” Byleth raised her eyebrows at her. “You know I have been counseling His Highness, I was wondering if you would be willing to attend sessions with him occasionally. See if we can’t work to rebuild some of the trust between you, improve your communication, and reduce the frequency of your arguments since they seem to be escalating. What do you think?”

She looked completely taken aback. "I... really don’t know. I want to say yes, I feel like yes is the right answer...but part of me thinks, what's the point? He doesn't want me. Counseling won't change that." She looked down at her hands in her lap.

Manuela looked at Felix. According to what he had told her, the prince still loved her and wanted to be with her, but she didn’t feel right telling Byleth that. She wasn't the person Byleth needed to hear it from. If she could just get them in the same room together…

"Less than twelve hours ago we convinced you not to give up, and here you are, giving up again." Felix shook his head. "Look...I shouldn't tell you this but, last night after dinner I went to see him, and I asked him…" 

Manuela panicked; Felix shouldn't be the one to tell her either. She interrupted him. "Felix asked him to come by after your appointment today to try out counseling with you. I would love the chance to talk to you both together, but if you aren’t comfortable, we don’t have to do it. If he comes, we’ll just let him know you aren’t ready to take that step."

Byleth fidgeted with her hair. "He won't come. _If_ he were to show up and try...then I would be willing to give it a try too, but that's not going to happen. He won't come.” She sighed. “It's sweet how much everybody wants this to work for us, but this isn't a storybook like Bernie said. It's life. There’s no fairy godmother who will fix all my problems."

"What about Manuela?" 

"Excuse me? I'm not a fairy godmother. Fairy older godsister maybe. Or hot fairy godcousin." 

Felix smirked. "Whatever. You may not be able to fix all their problems but talking to you can’t possibly make things worse. And I have a feeling he'll be here."

"Well, I won’t hold my breath." Byleth mumbled, laying back on the bed. “I’ll wait ten minutes. Wake me up if he gets here, otherwise I’m taking a nap.”

A few moments later, Dimitri stepped into the infirmary. His eye swept the room and landed on Byleth lying in the bed. He frowned and rushed to her bedside, looking down at her. “Is she alright?” 

She opened her eyes and inhaled in surprise and blushed. “I’m fine.” They stared at each other. Manuela watched them. Their faces showed a myriad of different emotions, but they didn’t seem able to keep their eyes off each other, until Dimitri got flustered and looked out the window instead. Manuela smiled and got an idea. Maybe she could help them after all. 

“Well, this awkward silence is my cue to leave.” Felix said, standing up from his seat. “See you at the meeting later, boar. Byleth don’t forget, you and the troops are having lunch with me and Bernie today.” She nodded. 

Manuela followed Felix to the door to lock it behind him. “Good work Felix. They are lucky to have a friend like you.” He rolled his eyes and waved her off before speeding down the hall. 

***

“So, I’m glad to have a chance to talk to you both. I’ve spoken to you each individually for a while now, and I thought it would be a good idea to speak to you together to see if we can improve your communication with each other.” She handed each of them a handkerchief and sat in a chair facing them.

“What are these for?” Dimitri asked, holding up and looking at the handkerchief as if it were a dead animal. 

“Just in case you need it.” Manuela sat down and opened a new notebook. “Now, one important thing before we get started...I’m going to ask you questions. When you answer, I want you to focus on _your_ feelings and thoughts. Don’t attempt to speak for each other or infer things about what the other is thinking or feeling. None of us is a mind reader. You can talk about each other's words and actions, but steer clear of naming each other's feelings." 

“Let’s get started, shall we?” She looked to them for agreement and eventually both nodded. “So... This may seem a bit unconventional, but before either of you talk, I’m going to have you start with a connection exercise. Please sit on the edges of your chairs facing each other…” She paused as they reluctantly stood up and turned their chairs to face each other. Although neither was looking at the other; they were both looking at her with similar vexed expressions. They looked like sullen teenagers. This was going to be fun. 

“Good, now scoot forward on your seats, close enough that your knees are almost touching.” She held up her timer. “This sand glass measures three minutes. I’m going to ask you some questions and turn this timer. While the sand runs, I want you to look at each other and think about the answers, maintaining eye contact with each other the entire time.”

Byleth’s eyes flicked to Dimitri’s face briefly. “That sounds really awkward and uncomfortable.”

“I agree.” Dimitri looked down at his hands. "Why do we have to do this?"

“Amazing! Not even five minutes into couples’ counseling and you already agree on something.” Manuela held back a laugh. “Listen, both of you...You’re going to have to trust me. If you must know why I'm having you do this, both of you have some extraordinarily strong walls built up right now. This exercise will help break them. You must maintain eye contact for the full three minutes, no talking...Can you do that?” 

Byleth nodded. Dimitri grunted and Manuela took it as an agreement.

“Very good. Since you two seem to be particularly...volatile...together lately, I want to get you to a place that’s more positive before we dig in a little deeper. So, for the next three minutes I want you to think about this; what was the first thing you noticed about your partner; what attracted you to them? When did you first realize you were in love?”

Byleth’s mouth dropped open and she gasped slightly. “Manuela…”

Dimitri shook his head, glared at Manuela, and crossed his arms.

“Trust me. I know what I’m doing.” Manuela smiled at them and indicated that they should look at each other and once they finally did, she turned the timer. “Three minutes, starting now.”

The sand began to run in the timer. Dimitri’s arms remained tightly crossed and Byleth mirrored his position. Neither looked incredibly pleased, but at least they were looking at each other. A few seconds passed as they stared each other down. “It’s ok if you blink; it isn’t a staring contest.” Manuela said. Byleth blinked. Dimitri huffed and followed suit.

"Remember what you’re supposed to be thinking about. What did you first notice, what attracted you first, when did you realize you were in love?" 

Manuela noticed a slight redness had begun to color and creep up Dimitri’s cheeks as she repeated the questions. His jaw tightened and he reached up to run his hands in his hair. 

Byleth’s eyes widened at the gesture and she started blushing as well. She uncrossed her arms and placed her hands in her lap. The corner of her mouth raised slightly. 

He closed his eye and dropped his head as he uncrossed his arms and placed his hands on his knees, his fingers a slight movement away from touching hers. His fingers twitched as if he wanted to touch her, before curling into fists.

“Look up please, Your Highness.” Manuela reminded him and he did. She looked at the timer. Half of the time had passed.

Dimitri blushed fully now as he looked back at Byleth. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he pursed his lips. If Manuela had to guess, he looked like a man who was trying not to smile. His hair had fallen back in his face when he looked down. Byleth bit her bottom lip and shook her head. She reached up and pushed his hair back from his face. He flinched. She grasped her hands back together tightly in her lap and looked down at them, as if chastising herself for reaching out to him. 

"Eyes up, Byleth." Manuela said.

Byleth looked back up at him and Manuela saw her eyes were shining with unshed tears. As the last grains of sand ran through the timer, Manuela deduced that she was looking at two people who obviously still loved each other, but who were both guarded and hurting. She could feel the energy between them, good and bad. It would be hard work to get them to a good place, and it would take a lot more than one session, but it was clear from the exercise that they had a foundation strong enough to build on. “Time’s up. As we move forward, I want you to keep the answers to those questions in your mind. I'll ask for the answers a bit later. You can turn back and face me." She waited as they adjusted. "Now, who wants to start and tell me what problems you are experiencing in this relationship?"

Neither of them made eye contact with her. It reminded Manuela of asking a question in one of her classes when her students had not studied their readings the night before. Clearly, neither of them wanted to be called on to go first. She considered her options. Dimitri was far more closed off than Byleth was. It might be easier to open him up if she spoke first. On the other hand, he was also more defensive and listening to her talk might shut him down. Manuela sighed. "Neither of you thinks there's any problems in your relationship?"

Dimitri scoffed. "We do not have a relationship. We were together for a grand total of two days five years ago before she left me. And now we have nothing."

"If we have nothing then why are you here?" Byleth said through her teeth. “And I didn't leave you, I fell off a cliff and almost died."

Dimitri glared at her. "If you had stayed with me instead of chasing after Rhea that would not have happened."

"I know that. I made a tactical mistake."

"It was not a mistake; it was a choice."

"How? I didn't know what was going to happen. I was just trying to help her." Byleth started to cry. She had failed. She hadn’t saved Rhea and almost killed herself, leaving him behind to pick up the pieces. "I didn't leave you for five years on purpose, Dimitri. You have to know that." 

He did not answer. What did it matter if she did not mean to leave him? "You still left me.” He mumbled. 

“Accidentally! It was a battle; anything could have happened.” She wanted to yell at him that he had died in that battle rushing towards Edelgard, and if the twins had been conceived a few minutes earlier, she would not have had the divine pulse to save him, and he’d be dead. “Any time we fight there is a chance we won’t make it. My luck just ran out. Are you really mad at me for that?”

“Yes...no. I... I was…” The truth was he was devastated. “I saw you fall; did you know that?” Byleth shook her head. His voice trembled. “Well, I did. And it replayed in my mind a hundred times every day that I was in prison. And it hurt more than the torture. But after a while it was easier to be angry than to be sad.”

"Dimitri, what happened to you in prison? Felix told me you had been tortured but didn't say exactly what happened." Byleth asked.

He shook his head. "I cannot...I am not ready to talk about that." He was definitely not ready to talk about it with her.

"That's alright, Your Highness. You can talk about it when you are ready. Let's get back to the fall." He nodded. “Now that she is back, are you still angry with her?”

He shook his head. “I do not want to be but....”

“But you are.” Byleth crossed her arms. “Maybe not about the fall itself but what led to it.”

“Yes.” Dimitri sighed. “I do not know how not to be angry about it.”

“So be angry! But not at me... If Thales hadn’t shot me with that spell I wouldn’t have fallen. Be mad at him. Or...if Edelgard had not invaded we would not have been fighting at all. Be mad at her. Be mad at the beasts that attacked Rhea and broke a hole in the wall. Why not go all the way to the top and be mad at Seiros for building this place into a mountain surrounded by cliffs!”

“I am! I am angry at everyone!”

“Good.” Manuela scribbled down some notes. “Feeling your anger is better than repressing it. You should be angry about what happened, just make sure your anger is directed at the right person or people. Byleth was not to blame for her fall.” He frowned but nodded. 

"I want to backtrack just a little." Manuela broke in. "Your Highness, you said you were only together for two days. That doesn’t seem right to me. I personally saw the two of you canoodling on the night of the ball. And there were rumors you were dating long before that. You did not grieve her like someone you were only dating for two days. How long were you together, Byleth?"

"I guess technically he's right. We were only officially together for two days, because we said we would wait until after he graduated to be together. But it feels like a lot longer.” She shook her head. “I guess he hates me so much that everything that happened between us before those two days doesn't matter to him anymore."

"Byleth…no mind reading." Manuela reminded her. “Can you rephrase that using your feelings?” 

"Fine…. Him saying we were together for only two days makes me feel like the bulk of our history together meant nothing to him. It makes sense that he would say we have nothing now if that's what he believes." Byleth looked from Manuela back to Dimitri. "But it isn’t what I believe.”

“Now that you’re talking a bit, let’s see if we can get back to the original question...Byleth you had a valid question earlier that I’m curious about as well...” She looked at Dimitri. “Your Highness, if you don’t believe there is a relationship between the two of you anymore, why are you here trying to fix the problems?”

Dimitri did not know how to answer that. He did think they still had a relationship. He also did not consider them to have only been together for two days. He did not know why he had said either of those things. It was as if the words were just falling out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

“ _You said it because you’re just trying to hurt my girl’s feelings.”_ Jeralt grunted in his head. “ _You’re lashing out like the animal you are.”_

Sir Jeralt had a point. Dimitri knew Manuela would press him until he said something, but he did not want to admit he was unfairly taking his anger out on Byleth. Shame pooled in his stomach. “I do not know why I said that. I am here because I am not a plant.” Manuela cocked her head at him. "Something Felix said. He also told me to fight for what I want. That is why I am here."

Manuela hummed in response. "And what do you want?” 

“I am not sure.” 

“I have a feeling you are, but I don’t want to set a bad example and mind read you. You don’t have to answer right now. But I want you to think about it and be ready to answer next time I ask." He nodded.

“Byleth, what do you think the problems in this relationship are?”

“Well…” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “It feels one-sided. Which makes sense if he thinks we aren’t even in a relationship.”

“I do not think that…”

She glared at him. “But you said it. Whether you meant it or not doesn’t matter because that’s how it feels to me anyway. For two months I have done nothing but reach out to you only for you to reject me, over and over. I don’t want to do it anymore.” She looked at Manuela, tears running down her face. “A big problem for me is that I’m tired of being rejected. It makes me want to run away.”

“Leave me again, you mean?”

“Your Highness, we covered that. She didn’t leave you.”

"Believe me, right now I'd like to leave everything and everyone.” Byleth scoffed. “You know, I wanted to go after the war was over…. Just run away and be a mercenary again. But Leonie and Felix talked me out of it."

"A mercenary?" Manuela asked. “Not Archbishop?”

Byleth nodded. "My dad raised me on the road. I thought I could do the same with the twins…"

“You would leave and take my sons with you?” 

She instinctively wrapped her arms around her belly, almost as if she were protecting it. "You…" Her voice shook. "You didn't seem so concerned when you told me to get rid of them.”

He winced. "I apologize for saying that...I was angry and caught off guard...I did not mean it." He whispered.

She nodded and clenched her jaw. "Good to know." Her face was impassive. "I still don't see why it matters to you what my plans are for after the war. You've made it perfectly clear that I have no reason to hope for a future where we raise these kids together. The nicest thing you've said to me in weeks is that you don't hate me. And you also said that you plan to die in this war, so why do you care?" Byleth huffed in annoyance. "And stop calling them your sons-”

“They are mine.” He did not know what changed, but now that he could tell that her stomach was growing and after seeing his crest shining above her on the battlefield, he had started to feel possessive over them. And her.

“I know that.” She rolled her eyes. “I meant we don't know that they are _boys_. Your line might be mostly male, but mine is mostly female. Seteth is as convinced I’m having girls as Felix is that I'm having boys. They have a bet going."

"Girls?" Dimitri was dumbfounded. "I would never have thought I would have daughters…The last female born in my family was generations ago."

"Well, it shouldn’t matter to you anyway. You said you don’t want to be with me, so if you survive the war you can find yourself someone else to wear the queen's crown and bear you a dozen sons. If you don’t think we have a relationship anymore, if you don't want one – fine. We won't be part of a future you clearly don't want. I'm done begging you to love me."

“When did you ever beg me to do that?”

“Yesterday, after the battle.”

“Is that what that was?” Dimitri shook his head. “That is not what it felt like. How were you begging me to love you while refusing to even kiss me at the same time as trying to have your way with me?”

“I was talking about what I asked you afterwards...And why would I want to kiss you? You hate me!”

“Byleth, stop mind reading….”.

“You are the one who hates me! That did not stop you from trying to...have sex with me!”

“Your Highness...you stop mind reading too.” Manuela broke in again, raising her voice slightly. “I will only say this once more. Stop trying to guess or name what your partner is feeling.” 

"Fine. I _feel_ like you hate me." Byleth said.

"And I feel like _you_ hate _me_!"

Manuela sighed. "And your feelings are valid, but in this case, I know...and you both know full well, that neither of you hates the other or you wouldn't both be here. Understood?"

Neither would look at the other or at her. Manuela sighed. “Do you understand, or do we need to do another connection exercise?” 

“I understand.” Byleth said. Dimitri nodded.

“Good. Now, before we go any further, what happened yesterday after the battle?”

Dimitri crossed his arms and blushed. He looked pointedly at Byleth. “That is a question for her. I cannot explain what happened. I do not even know what happened.”

Byleth sighed. “Manuela, do you remember a few weeks ago we had a conversation about my hormones and what I should do about them. You gave me three options.” Manuela nodded. She remembered the advice well. “And you know how I said earlier that after the fight I did something rash and impulsive that was embarrassing?” 

Manuela nodded again, understanding. “You, rashly and impulsively…tried to seduce His Highness?”

Byleth shrugged. “It was option number two: don’t make up with him and go at it anyway. You were right, not very smart.” She closed her eyes. “After he rejected me physically, we talked, and I asked him…” She looked at Dimitri. “I told you I missed you and I asked you, I begged you to come back to me so we could figure things out. You said no.”

“Your Highness…” Felix had told Manuela that Dimitri admitted he still loved Byleth and he did want to be with her and raise their children together. There was something else at play. “Why did you say no?”

Dimitri sighed. “Because...I am not good enough. Regardless of what I want, she should not want to be with me.”

“Your Highness, no negative self-talk allowed in this session.” Manuela said.

“It is not negative self-talk. It is the truth. She deserves to be happy. She could never be happy with me.”

“You don’t know that.” Byleth whispered. She had told Raphael the night before that all she needed was the smallest indication that Dimitri still wanted to be with her, and she would keep trying. It sounded like he did, but she had to be sure. “Dimitri...do you _want_ to be with me? Do you want to be a father to your children? Because if you do, you need to let me know right now. Because if you say no... I promise this is the last time I will ask.” She held her breath. 

He felt raw and open. It was a horrible feeling. His ghosts all screamed in his head, telling him to say no, shouting that she was ready to give up and he should let her.

 _"Tell her the truth, Your Highness. You don’t want to lose her. Say yes."_ Dedue’s voice rang out above the rest.

“Yes...” He whispered.

Byleth covered her mouth with her hand and choked back a sob. 

“Let’s take a little break.” Manuela poured Byleth a glass of water and offered one to Dimitri, who declined. “Take a few deep breaths, both of you.” Byleth was wiping her face with her handkerchief and Manuela noticed that Dimitri had not used his, but he had ripped it to shreds between his hands. She gave them a few minutes to compose themselves, once they were calm, she continued. 

“Believe it or not, you have done really well for your first session. We have a lot we can work on for next time. Before you go, I want to go back to the first questions I asked you about where you began...see if we can’t end this session on a high note.” 

Dimitri grinned. “High note…that is funny.” Manuela looked at him questioningly. “Because you were a songstress.”

“Wow…” Byleth shook her head. “Make sure you tell Alois that one.” 

He smirked. "Alois is funny."

"If you say so." Byleth’s lips quirked into a small smile.

"Will you just look at the two of you? You have one small breakthrough and suddenly you're smiling at each other." Manuela grinned. "That's going to make this next part easier." It was amazing how different their demeanor was. They were good for each other. They brought out the best in each other most of the time. They just needed to figure out how to communicate.

“Byleth…” Manuela cooed. “Let’s start with you. Shining sense of humor aside, what did you first notice about His Highness and what attracted you first?”

Byleth sighed. She had to hand it to Manuela. If she had asked her this question in the beginning, she would have struggled to say anything about it out loud. But she felt more open to talking about it now. “It’s hard to say. Um...The day we met was the same day Sothis first awoke in me.” Byleth remembered when she first told Manuela about Sothis’ presence in her mind and all the aftereffects of their merging. She was speechless for a full five minutes. She told Dimitri shortly after the merge as well and he seemed far less surprised.

“You both know I didn’t really have emotions before that day. Everything was so new and overwhelming. I was...drawn to him from the beginning...” She hadn’t realized that what she felt for him was different from what she felt for everyone else until much later. She had thought he was just her friend and her favorite student. Byleth remembered that her dad, Leonie, and Sothis teased her about it for weeks before she came to understand that she had fallen for him. “...but I don’t actually know what attracted me first.”

“Well, you said you were drawn to him from the beginning...what drew you in?” Manuela asked. 

“At first?" Byleth asked. Manuela nodded. When they were fighting the bandits, she noticed he was an exceptional fighter and was strong for his build. He was so lanky then, all long legs and arms and sharp, angular movements. Growing up watching one of the best lancers ever, she knew what to look for and knew right away he had a lot of potential. 

"We were fighting, and I wanted to reach out and correct his form…” She flicked her eyes in his direction. “After the fight when we were all walking here, he was just...so friendly and polite, but there was a sadness I saw in him even then. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted him to like me." She blushed. 

"Anything else?' Manuela asked. Byleth looked at Dimitri.

" _You also thought he was really cute and had a sexy voice!"_ Sothis screamed. " _You should tell him that! He's obviously feeling bad about himself after that fiasco yesterday. I think you not kissing him really hurt his feelings. Say something nice!"_ She huffed. _"Ooh...if I had solid legs, I would kick you! What is the point of talking to you if you never listen to me?"_

Byleth sighed and decided to listen to Sothis. 

"I also noticed he was really cute...and I liked his voice." She shook her head. “It was kind of jarring, actually. I had never been attracted to anyone before so…”

“Really? Never?” Manuela was shocked. 

She shook her head. “I mean, if you asked me, I could have told you objectively if someone was good-looking or not. But he was the first person I was ever physically attracted to.” Her blush deepened. “Like I said, he was cute.”

Manuela looked at Dimitri and found him blushing as well but shaking his head.

"Cute?!" He said, the growl in voice making a return. "I was hardly cute then; I am definitely not cute now."

Byleth shrugged. "That's your opinion. She asked for mine. You were inarguably cute. Even my dad thought so." 

He hmphed.

Dimitri dismissing Byleth thinking he was cute screamed of the poor self-esteem Manuela knew he suffered from. The fact that Byleth was speaking only in the past tense was probably helping him distance himself from the fact that she still found him attractive. Manuela couldn't have that. Not after the progress they had made. She decided to push and cleared her throat. "Do you still think he's cute, Byleth?"

Byleth looked at him and opened her mouth to answer but Dimitri cut her off. "You do not have to answer that. The last thing I need is false flattery."

"What makes you think I would lie?" She asked. He answered with a withering glare. Byleth rolled her eyes at him and looked at Manuela. "No; I don’t think he's still _cute._ Although there are moments when I still see it...cute isn’t the right word anymore." She looked back at him. "You're too...manly to be cute. I think you're…. ridiculously handsome...and I still really like your voice..." 

_“You can do better than that! You think he is sexy! I’ve heard you think he is gorgeous! Your thoughts go into great detail, you know. His voice makes you melt! Speak up, Byleth!”_

She trailed off and covered her face with her hands. "Can my turn be over now? I feel like I have answered the question.”

"Of course." Manuela held back a grin and turned to Dimitri. "Your Highness, same question."

"I do not see the point of this. How will talking about how we felt then help now?" He grumbled and crossed his arms again, but a hint of a blush was still visible on his cheeks.

"I’ll tell you when we are done. Humor me. What did you first notice about Byleth and what attracted you to her?" 

He frowned.

Byleth smirked at him. She sat up straighter in her chair and rolled her shoulders back, then looked down at her chest and then back at him. "I don't think Dimitri wants to admit what he first noticed about me, Manuela." 

"That was not the first thing I noticed!" 

Byleth raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s not what you said in the knight’s hall.”

He sighed, blushing furiously. "It was not the only thing I noticed."

"Well?" Manuela asked, trying not to smile. "What was?"

He shook his head. He did not want to talk about this. He would almost rather discuss the torture he went through in prison. In detail. But Byleth had answered the question about him, and her answer felt like a healing spell. He owed it to her to reciprocate. 

"I did...notice that she was beautiful first, but..." He looked at her. How could he not have noticed? His entire life, he had mostly been surrounded by courtiers looking to marry into a higher position. Women who were only interested in being the next queen. They dressed and acted accordingly. They were attractive. Some were even beautiful, but he was never interested in any of them, for many reasons. He was extremely interested in Byleth when he first saw her. “More than that I found her...intriguing.” 

"Why is that?" Manuela asked. 

"She was so different from anyone I had ever met. Beautiful, of course, but also strong, smart, brave…” She had led them against those bandits without a second thought and had a sound strategy within moments. She fought like nobody he had ever seen. He winced. "I knew right away that I liked her, but I thought that nothing would ever come of it.” 

He had tried to tell himself that her fighting style was a bad thing. He mistook her lack of expression for lack of remorse and told himself that someone who could cut others down without remorse was someone who could not be trusted. He looked down at his hands in his lap. How ironic. He shuddered to think of what his past self would think of who he was now.

"I see…" Manuela nodded and wrote down what he had said. She noticed Byleth looked at him and hung on his every word. He stared at his hands and did not notice. "Do you still think she is beautiful... strong, smart, and brave?"

He nodded, his answer scarcely above a whisper. "More beautiful than I remembered. Stronger. Braver. Perhaps not as smart, seeing as she has allowed herself to get involved with me."

"What did I say about negative self-talk? Not allowed" Manuela said. He nodded. "And when did you realize you were in love with her?"

He frowned. "That is unfair, she did not have to answer that question."

"She will." Manuela looked pointedly at Byleth then back at Dimitri. "She answered the last question first. Now it's your turn...Actually, turn your chairs and face each other for this one. Talk to each other." They complied, although they were hesitant. “Go ahead, Your Highness.”

He shook his head and looked at Byleth. He felt like his heart was being squeezed in his chest. "I am not sure when it happened...because I tried so hard not to fall in love with you.” Byleth nodded.

“Why is that?” Manuela asked.

“She was my professor. It was improper for me to like her in that manner.” Once she was named the professor over the Blue Lions, he had done everything he could to ignore his feelings. But they had spent so much time together and every day he liked her more. 

“But you did.” Manuela said. He nodded. “Talk to Byleth, tell her when you realized you loved her.”

He closed his eye. His heart was thundering. He was sweating. Why did he insist on wearing full armor and a fur cape? He took a deep breath and looked at her again. Goddess, he loved her so much. She deserved to know that, but he could not bring himself to say it. It would be easier to talk about loving her in the past. 

“I... I think I realized I loved you the first time I saw you smile. It was just after we rescued Flayn from the death knight.” When she smiled for the first time, he knew it was futile to try not to fall in love with her, because he loved her already. She smiled at him now and he was reminded that he would love her forever. 

Manuela raised her eyebrows. She remembered the incident with the so-called Death Knight very well. “Your turn, Byleth. Tell him when you first realized you were in love with him.”

She looked at Dimitri and bit her lip, thinking. “It was a lot later for me, I think.... I didn’t know what love was for a long time, so I can’t be sure. Sothis told me I was in love with you constantly, but I didn’t believe her.”

 _“For the record, I was right.”_ Sothis giggled.

“I first realized it after my dad died. You took care of me that whole time, but the night we talked in the rain in the graveyard...that’s when I knew I loved you.” He stared at her and she felt a jolt of electricity course through her. 

“Wonderful.” Manuela said, closing her notebook. “Your Highness, you asked earlier why I was having you do this.”

He nodded. 

“I’m not just trying to drown you in nostalgia in hopes that you will rekindle things. However, I did want to remind you about how you felt about each other before life got in the way. We will be discussing what happened in the past, but the details of the events that happened to you are not as important to healing your relationship as knowing how those events affected you emotionally. I want to help both of you come to terms with what has happened. Not to you, but between you. Does that make sense?”

They looked at each other briefly then back at her. They both still looked confused. Two peas in a pod.

“Many of your current issues are based on how past issues and events have affected you. The anger, resentment, and grief you both have built up needs to be dealt with for you to move forward. Your insecurities, caused by all those negative feelings, are harming the chances of this relationship moving forward.”

“How do we even do that?” Byleth asked. “It sounds impossible.”

Manuela shook her head. “It is possible. You will need to continue counseling with me. Right after Byleth’s weekly appointments works well for me if it works for you two.” They nodded. “You will also need to do your homework.”

“Homework?” Byleth asked. 

“More homework?” Dimirti asked. “You already gave me homework.” Byleth looked at him, a question in her eyes. He shook his head.

“This one doesn’t involve writing anything. You’ve been lonely too long, both of you. If you have shown me anything today it is that you have missed each other. There is a certain energy between you, even when you are arguing. I’d like you to see more of each other.”

“We see each other every day during war meetings.” Byleth said. 

“I want you to see each other socially. Ideally, I’d like you to engage in an activity together that you can enjoy and will allow you to connect and talk to each other. Knowing the two of you, I would recommend sparring, but seeing as there is still a lot of anger between you, I’d rather not have you brandishing weapons at each other, even wooden ones.” 

“I would never hurt her.” Dimitri said. 

“I know, but accidents happen. And it isn’t just her I’m worried about. With the unpredictability of the babies’ crests in the mix, I’d be worried about you as well.” Manuela tapped her chin with her finger. “I have it. Tea! I remember seeing the two of you having tea together constantly. It’s one of the reasons everyone assumed you were together.”

Byleth crossed her arms. “He was my house leader. We had to meet and talk about things.” 

“I was a professor here for six years, Byleth. I never spent anywhere near as much time with any of my house leaders as you did with yours.” Manuela laughed. “The tea, all the shared meals, the training together, the _constant_ touching and blushing...ugh you two were disgustingly adorable.”

“Everyone assumed we were together?” Dimitri asked.

“Just about everyone, yes.” Manuela nodded. “The student-teacher thing was only slightly scandalous, what with you being so close in age. Nobody would have dared to question the Crowned Prince once he made his choice.” 

Byleth shook her head. “So, all that time we held back…” 

“Pointless.” Manuela said, chuckling. “Much like this conversation. Back to your homework. I want you to have tea together every day. You choose the time. It doesn’t have to be for very long. Just enough for you to connect with each other and have a cup of tea and conversation that isn’t about war plans. And that’s it. You’re free to go for today.”

Byleth stood up. Dimitri did not. 

“Professor Manuela, can I speak to you for a moment...about the herbs to help me sleep?” He looked at her, hoping that she would see through his excuse and understand that he wanted to talk to her without Byleth in the room. 

“Of course.” Manuela turned to Byleth. “You don’t have to stay for this, Byleth.” She nodded and exited the infirmary, looking back at Dimitri one last time before closing the door behind her. Manuela turned back to Dimitri. “Do you really want herbs to help you sleep?”

He shook his head. “No. I just wanted to talk to you about something. I heard from my uncle yesterday.”

“Oh, I see. Just a moment.” She stood, walked over to her shelf, and grabbed the notebook where she took notes on Dimitri’s solo counseling sessions. She sat in the chair that Byleth had vacated since it was closer to him. “What happened?”

“I told him to leave me alone. Then Felix arrived. He did not speak again after the first time; I did not want to bother you with it when I knew I would see you this morning.”

“What did he say?”

He exhaled loudly. “I was remembering something that Cornelia did to me while I was in prison. He told me I should be ashamed that it happened because it was a shameful thing. He told me I was disgusting, and Cornelia knew it, which is why she...did what she did. He asked me how I could live with myself.”

Manuela paused in her notetaking. “Shameful? That isn’t a word you have used about Cornelia torturing you before.”

He shook his head. “There is something I have not told you. That night...after the whipping, but before she took my eye...she had stripped me naked for the whipping and she…” He winced and Manuela’s heart broke because she guessed what he was going to say. “She touched me...intimately...without my consent.”

“Dimitri...I am so sorry that happened to you.” Manuela already hated this woman, Cornelia, without ever meeting her. Now, she hoped someday she would meet her. if only to kill her herself. “It is not your fault. You did nothing to deserve this, despite that your uncle may say.”

“I do not even know why it is bothering me so. It was nothing compared to everything else she did to me. I have hardly thought about it since. But yesterday, after what happened with Byleth…” He sighed. “When Byleth touched me, even though I wanted her to, it brought it all back... and I felt sick with guilt and shame that I allowed her to do that to me.” He looked down at his hands. “Afterward when I was in my room remembering everything, I realized that Byleth was the first to touch me since Cornelia did, I have not even...touched myself.”

“In five years?” Manuela asked. He nodded. At his age that was almost unthinkable, but with his mental health issues, and now this new information about Cornelia assaulting him sexually, she was not surprised. Every time she thought her heart couldn’t break any more, he found a way to break it again. “Your word choices indicate that you do not think it was a big deal compared to everything else that happened that night, but what you experienced yesterday and throughout the last five years indicates that deep down you know it was.”

“No. She was simply mocking me, trying to see how weak I was….to see if I would agree to do what she wanted.” He shuddered.

“Perhaps that was part of it. It may have been about her asserting her power over you or it may have just been sexual for her, or both. Her motivations don’t really matter. By trying to figure out her motives we give her more power than she deserves. She is irrelevant. What matters is how it affected you. How you felt when it happened; how you feel now.”

“I felt powerless. She stripped me of my power in every way, and then she took my kingdom to add insult to injury. And I felt dirty, used, guilty and ashamed. I felt like it tainted what Byleth and I had. I feel like it will taint everything going forward. I felt like it was somehow my fault.”

“What she did was wrong, Dimitri. Wrong on every level and on the same level as the whipping and removing your eye.” She wanted to reach out to him but thought better of it remembering how he had flinched at Byleth’s touch. “You are allowed to feel anger or sadness or any number of things about it, but not guilt and certainly not shame. Because you did nothing wrong.”

He looked at her. “Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

He nodded. “Will I... ever be able to…” A tear rolled down his cheek, followed quickly by another. “Will I be able to be with Byleth without thinking about it?” 

Manuela stood up and got him a new handkerchief. She wanted to hop on a wyvern and fly to Fhirdiad and give that woman a piece of her mind, followed by a piece of her sword. The pointy part. 

“Yes. There is no reason to believe you can't move past this and have a normal sexual relationship with Byleth. But probably not anytime soon. Especially if she doesn’t know what happened that night.”

“You think I should tell her? About all of it?”

“If she is truly to be the woman in your life, I think it would be wise for her to know the full extent of what happened. It was a major life event that you shouldn’t keep secret. Keeping it a secret may help those unwarranted shameful feelings hang around longer. If she knows, she can help you through the processes of healing. She's getting to be a great healer, you know."

He nodded. "I know. I am just...afraid she will see me differently if I tell her."

“She won’t” Manuela smiled softly at him. "Thank you for trusting me enough to talk to me about this. About everything. I will do everything I can to see you come out of this war whole and happy, Your Highness."

She watched him leave and breathed a sigh of relief that she made it through the conversation without crying. Counseling sessions were always the hardest thing she did as a physician. It was harder when she was as emotionally invested in her patients as she was Byleth and Dimitri. The future King and the future Archbishop...if she messed up, the entire continent was doomed. She looked out the window and stretched, wondering if it was too early for a glass of wine. She decided it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they loved happily ever after....
> 
> Yeah, that's not how therapy works lol. But at least they have taken those first steps! Also, like Manuela, I kinda can't wait to kill Cornelia.
> 
> On a more serious note: Dimitri and Manuela's conversation there at the end is through the lens of my own trauma and what I wish someone had said to me. If you are going through something similar, seriously find someone to talk to. Counseling and therapy for everyone!!
> 
> Coming up next: Byleth and Dimitri do their homework.
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always. Leave me comments so I can read them when I wake up!


	26. Seven Broken Teacups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri and Byleth do their homework and teacups get broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Don't worry, I did not abandon the story! I was sick for a week and wrote maybe a paragraph in that entire time. But I'm all better now! Just in time to drop this update on you in honor of Dimitri's birthday. 
> 
> So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our best boi, who owns the distinction of being the first and only fictional character I have ever had a crush on despite being an avid reader and watcher of movies and tv shows my entire life.
> 
> Enjoy this long long long update! 
> 
> Song for this chapter: "Arms" by Christina Perri as it embodies the mental state of our two lovebirds well in this chapter.

**_Sunday_ **

**_1st of the Pegasus Moon_ **

Dimitri was heading to the training ground when he literally ran into Sylvain and Felix. He was thinking about everything he and Byleth had talked about in their counseling session with Manuela earlier that day and he must have been so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice they were walking toward him. He walked right into Sylvain, who fell to the ground. 

“Watch where you’re going boar!” Felix yelled. “I get you have a blind spot, but you need to be aware of your surroundings!”

“I wasn’t even in his blind spot!” Sylvain laughed as Dimitri helped him to his feet. “Don’t fret, Your Highness; I’m fine. What has you so distracted you didn’t notice two of your oldest friends?”

“Nothing. I am not distracted.” Dimitri grumbled. “I was just going to go train. I did not see you.”

“Sure, sure. That’s understandable.” Sylvain grabbed his arm and spun him in the opposite direction from the one he had been walking in. “But...to make it up to me, I insist you join Felix and I for dinner. You can train later.”

“Seriously?” Felix asked.

“Yeah!” Sylvain started to drag Dimitri to the dining hall, while Felix begrudgingly followed. In truth, Dimitri was allowing himself to be dragged. If he really did not want to go, there was no way that Sylvain would be able to move him without help. “Come on, you two! When was the last time just the three of us had a meal together?”

“I don’t think just the three of us have ever had a meal together.” Felix said. “There was always someone else there. Our dads, our brothers, Ingrid.”

“Well, not tonight.” Sylvain threw an arm around each of them. Dimitri still found it astonishing that he was taller than Sylvain now. “Tonight, it’s just the three of us and I for one, am excited.” Felix grumbled and Dimitri made several half-hearted attempts to pull away as Sylvain led them to the dining hall.

Had he been asked before today; he would have said that his old friends did not really care about him other than as a figurehead to fight behind. Now, he could hear Manuela’s voice in his head telling him not to mindread them. At one time, he had chastised Edelgard about always looking for deceit behind every word people said and failing to trust her allies. She had likely been that way because she had been planning to betray them all even then. He was shocked to realize how like her he had become in his mistrust of others. Perhaps it was time to start taking people's words at face value again.

 _"Ridiculous! You cannot trust any of them. They are not your real allies! If they were, they would not be hindering your path to the Imperial capital!"_ His father raged in the depths of his mind. Dimitri did his best to ignore him as he sat down to have dinner with two people he once considered his best friends.

It was not until they had almost finished eating that Dimitri thought to ask Sylvain where Ingrid was, since they usually had dinner together.

"Stable duty with the Pegasi. She'll eat dinner with Petra after they finish. Then she'll have dessert with me." He winked.

"Ugh, I've told you before, I don't want to hear about your sex life with Ingrid. Or even allusions to it. It grosses me out." Felix grumbled. "That goes for you too boar, once you and Byleth make up. They’re both like sisters to me and I don’t want to hear about it." 

Dimitri’s mouth dropped open. "We are nowhere near that point."

"Felix! You wound us. His Highness would never kiss and tell. And I honestly meant Ingrid and I have plans to have dessert later." Sylvain laughed.

"Then what's up with the winking?"

"Aw, I only added that to make his Highness uncomfortable. You remember how bashful he always was about sex." He pointed at Dimitri’s face while elbowing Felix next to him. "He still is! Look, he's blushing! Can you believe he was the first of us to sire a child? Oh, Your Highness… I'm shocked you'll have two kids soon and I don't have any!"

"None that you know of anyway." Felix mumbled.

"Soon?!" Dimitri looked across the table at Sylvain in shock.

"Well yeah, nine months isn't a long time. That time is going to fly, you know." Sylvain answered.

"Seven months. She's already two along." Felix smirked and raised an eyebrow. "And Manuela said they're probably going to be born early."

"Stop it Felix, you're freaking him out."

"How am _I_ freaking him out?"

As Dimitri listened to the surprisingly soothing sound of the bickering of his friends, he realized he was freaking out, as Sylvain so eloquently put it. Seven months or less. He would be a father in seven months or less. That was all the time he and Byleth had to find their way back to each other. It seemed like they were so close and so far away at the same time. He scanned the dining hall to see if he could find her so he could talk to her about their homework. A calming cup of tea was just what he needed.

He spotted her a few tables away sitting with Hilda, Lysithea, Linhardt, and Caspar. He would have rather not spoken to her around so many others, but he needed to, so he excused himself from Sylvain and Felix’s argument and walked toward them. He was still a few steps away when their conversation started to reach his ears. 

“It’s an area of crestology that doesn’t have a lot of data.” Linhardt said. “I’d love the opportunity to study you.”

“You’ll have to ask Hanneman. He already asked to study me first.” Byleth said. "I wouldn't want to be the cause of a fight between the two of you."

"I would love to watch that fight!" Caspar said. “He’s taller than you Lin. That means he’d have the advantage if we go by your theory!”

“He’s also older and slower.” Byleth shrugged. “I think Lin could take him.” 

“An interesting thought experiment, but I’m sure Professor Hanneman wouldn’t mind if I studied you. We’re working on a project together. We are trying to figure out how to remove someone’s crest. Seeing how a mother’s crest and unborn child’s crest manage to co-exist might be useful for our research.” He paused and looked at Lysithea. “As you know, it’s a very important project to me.” 

“And as you know, it’s a pointless project.” Lysithea said. “You can’t remove one of my crests. It isn’t possible.”

“Remove them both if you can! Crests are overrated.” Caspar grinned and took another bite of his dessert. “I’ve never missed not having one.”

“ _You_ really don’t need one.” Hilda reached over and squeezed his bicep. “You’re so strong anyway, having one would just be unfair.”

“Aw, thanks, Hilda!” Caspar blushed and turned to face Dimitri as he walked up to the end of the table. "Hiya, Your Highness! What brings you by?" 

They all looked up at him, everyone but Byleth had a similar look of surprise on their faces. He supposed he had not been very sociable in the last two months, so his approaching them must be just as odd for them as it was for himself.

“If you will all excuse me…I do not mean to interrupt but...Byleth, can I speak with you for a moment?” She nodded, stood, and followed him away from the table. 

He swallowed. “I was wondering if you were free for tea now. I mean, if we are to have tea daily, I was wondering if after dinner would be a good time for you?”

“Oh…” She looked up at him. Her expression was hard for him to read, but she nodded. “Of course...now is a good time.” She looked back toward the kitchens. “I can gather what we need. Would you like to go get us a table in the garden or we can always meet in my quarters?”

He frowned slightly. As if he would feel comfortable having tea in the Archbishop’s quarters. He had only set foot in the room once and all he remembered was Lady Rhea shutting him out after Byleth’s transformation. “The garden is fine. Do you...need any help with preparing things?”

She shook her head. “I can manage.”

He nodded and walked out of the dining hall and toward the rose garden. He hated how formal they were with each other. Their conversation during counseling had felt almost like it used to by the end of the session, but somehow, they were back to the conversational tones of polite strangers. He sat and stared at the sky, wondering if they would ever get to a place where they were just comfortable with each other. 

It did not seem they were going to reach that place in one day. Once Byleth joined him, set out the tea supplies and sweets, and sat down, they settled into an uncomfortable silence as the tea steeped. He preferred the overly polite conversation to no conversation. Occasionally they made eye contact for a moment, but neither seemed to be able to find anything to say. He did not know what she was thinking about, but if he had to guess, he figured her thoughts were on what was said during their counseling session, just like his. Although if he learned anything from counseling it was that he should not be trying to guess what she was thinking. 

He was thinking about what Manuela had told him after Byleth left. The thought of telling Byleth the details of what he had been through when he was imprisoned seemed even more daunting to him in that moment than winning the war. Even if he did work up the courage to tell her everything, he was sure it was a conversation that was too heavy to have over tea. Still, he figured they should talk about something. 

“Do you...” She spoke.

“Is there…” He said at the same time. 

“Oh, go ahead.” She said, blushing and shaking her head.

“No, no... you first. I insist.”

“I was just...going to ask if you wanted a cookie.” She held out the plate of treats and he nodded and took one, even though he didn’t really want it. “What were you going to say?”

“I was wondering if there was anything you wanted to talk about?”

“That’s funny, I was hoping you would have something you wanted to talk about.” She started pouring the tea. “This used to be so much easier when I could get you to talk for hours about weapons and equipment upkeep.”

He smirked slightly. “Weapon maintenance is very important.” He cleared his throat. “But I think we have even more important things we should probably talk about.” She nodded. Neither of them said anything. 

They sat in silence. As uncomfortable as the starring exercise had been during their session, this was far worse. He cleared his throat. “Do you believe this is going to work?” She cocked her head at him. “This. Manuela’s homework. Do you think it will help us?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. But she was right…” She looked down at her hands. “I’ve missed you.”

He nodded. “I have missed you too.” He swallowed and decided to be open with her. “I think I have missed you more since you have been back than I did when you were gone. I did not think that was possible.”

“Dimitri...I am so sorry. I’m sorry I left you.” He started to interrupt but she held up her hand to stop him from speaking. “It wasn’t my fault that I fell, or that I was gone for so long, but I’m still really sorry you were alone all that time. Do you think you can forgive me?”

“I can.” He nodded. “I have. I am simply happy you returned to me at all...uh, to us, I mean.” 

“Me too.” She nodded and pushed his cup toward him. 

He picked it up and sniffed it. “Chamomile.”

She nodded. “Is it still your favorite?”

He looked at her. “Yes...but I always assumed you served it because it was your favorite.”

“No, I usually bought it just for you.” She shook her head. “Until coming here I was a strict coffee drinker, actually. But Manuela banned me from drinking coffee right now. So, these days I drink peppermint tea more than anything else.”

“That is an odd choice for you. I cannot say I ever saw you have peppermint tea before.”

“I never did until recently. It’s supposed to help with morning sickness and nausea.” She absently stirred a sugar cube into her tea. “I suppose it does some days; on others it doesn’t seem to make a bit of difference.”

“Have you been sick a lot?”

She nodded. “Every day. Sometimes multiple times a day.”

“I am so sorry, Byleth.” He sighed. “This is all my fault...I should have been more careful.”

“It’s not your fault…” She huffed out a laugh. “I mean, maybe partly your fault…but I was there too, and I was a very willing participant.” She shrugged and picked up her cup to take a sip, an obvious blush coloring her cheeks. 

“Yes, I remember…” And he did. For all the things he had forgotten, or tried to forget, the details of that night were burned into his mind. He felt heat rise to his cheeks. Were they really sitting in the courtyard drinking tea and remembering being intimate with each other? He cast about in his mind for something else to talk about as he watched her blush deepen. He could not help but wonder exactly what she was thinking about. 

“Anyway, I have no regrets about it.” She glanced down at her stomach and smiled softly. She looked beautiful with the setting sun behind her. It was like looking at a painting of the goddess. He looked away from her. His attention was drawn back almost immediately when he heard a familiar crunching sound followed by her gasp. He turned to see her frozen in shock, holding the shattered remains of her teacup, as tea spilled through her fingers and onto the table. “What happened?”

Her mouth was open in shock. “I broke it…I picked it up and it just…”

“It imploded?” She nodded and he could not help but grin at her, wondering if the look on her face was what he looked like when he accidentally broke things. “I know that feeling well.” 

She nodded again and set the broken pieces down on the table. “This...I’ll happily blame on you. I’ve never broken a teacup before.” She put her hands on her stomach and looked down. “Or I guess I should blame you guys for making me break stuff. Little troublemakers.” 

His heart stopped. She was talking to them. He wanted to jump up and rush to her side. He wanted to kneel next to her and rub her belly and talk to the babies as well, not that he would know what to say to them. He settled for picking up the broken pieces of her cup for her. He folded up the wet tablecloth as well, putting both in the basket she had used to carry the supplies. 

“Some of these shards are quite sharp. Did you cut your hands?” He asked. She inspected them and shook her head. “Good. You may want to bring a sturdier cup for yourself tomorrow.” He held up the thicker coffee mug she had brought out for him. “Those thin china cups were never long for this world in my hands. It looks like you may be dealing with the same issue for now.”

“Maybe. I’m hoping that was a fluke.” She ate another cookie. “I’m done with my tea, obviously. But I’ll sit with you while you finish yours.” 

They looked at each other. He could tell she had more to say. He knew there was so much more he wanted to say, but he did not. Instead, they sat in a much more comfortable silence while he finished his tea. He offered to take the supplies back to the kitchen and bid her a good evening. As he watched her walk away, he was thankful to Manuela for telling them to spend time together. 

***

**_Monday_ **

He could not find her. She was not anywhere in the dining hall. When he thought about it, he had not seen her all day. She had not been in the war meeting that day either. Seteth had said she had other important business to attend to, but that was hours ago. He started to worry. It was not like her to miss meals and he did not think she would forget they had agreed to have their daily tea after dinner. He left the dining hall and walked toward her quarters. 

_"She's just blowing you off."_ Glenn jeered. " _One teatime with you yesterday was enough for her to realize she doesn't want to be with you anymore."_

“You are wrong, Glenn. She said she missed me, and I believe her, not you.” Dimitri mumbled aloud as he climbed the stairs. He remembered that Manuela told him he should take note of what his ghosts say and when. “But I will be sure to write down your opinion on the matter.”

“Your Highness, is there something I can help you with?” Seteth was walking out of the audience chamber when Dimitri was walking into it.

“Yes...I am looking for Byleth. I know you said she was busy earlier but…”

“Allow me to stop you there.” Seteth interrupted him, though not unkindly. “She was not busy earlier. She is not feeling well and took a sick day. I did not wish to broadcast it to everyone at the meeting, for her privacy, but there is no harm in telling you now. She has been in her quarters all day.”

He had never known her to be sick, much less sick enough to take a sick day. “Can I go see her?”

“You can try.” Seteth nodded. He started to walk away but stopped. “If I may say so, Your Highness...I remember well the nights when we were searching for her all those years ago; I know that you care about her a great deal and I know that she cares about you just as much. I pray that the two of you will be able to work things out.” 

“I...am not sure how to respond to that...”

Seteth chuckled. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. If you will excuse me, I am meeting Flayn for dinner. You will likely find Byleth in her quarters.” He gestured toward the staircase that led to the third floor, bowed slightly, and departed, leaving Dimitri feeling flustered as he started to walk up the steps.

Once he was in front of her doors, he hesitated. If she was not feeling well, chances were good that she was not in the mood to see him, much less have tea. Still, he wanted to check on her and make sure she was alright. He knocked. There was no answer. He knocked a little more loudly and put his ear to the door. He thought he heard a faint groaning sound. 

“Byleth?” He knocked a third time, even harder. “Are you alright? Do you need help?” He heard more noises coming from inside that did not sound good. He was going to have to break her door. What if she needed help and nobody could hear her? He was about to ram into the door with his shoulder when he thought to try the doorknob first. It was unlocked. 

He stepped into her room. It looked much like he remembered from when Lady Rhea inhabited it, only not as cold. There were little touches all over the room that would have told him whose it was. Piles of her books and notes all over the desk, her shoes by the wardrobe, the sword of the creator strewn in a corner of the room with some other weapons, a blue blanket on the bed. The one thing he expected to see in the room was the one thing he did not see. Her.

“Byleth?” He looked out through the door leading to the balcony. He heard a noise behind him coming from the washroom. He turned and walked slowly in that direction. The door was ajar. He stood next to it. He did not want to walk in on her in the bath. He had not considered that might be where she was. “Byleth, please answer me. I just want to make sure you are alright.”

“Ah...ugh...D-Dimitri? Why? What are you doing here?” Her voice sounded strange. Weak. He frowned. The next sound he heard was a terrible retching followed by Byleth groaning. She was crying.

“I am coming in…” He pushed the door open and saw her half sitting, half laying on the floor, holding on to a chamber pot for dear life. He gasped. “Byleth…”

“No...no please. Don’t...” She knew tears were streaming down her flushed face. She was probably sweaty too. She wasn’t wearing her glasses, so everything was blurry, which didn’t help with her dizziness. She knew her hair was disheveled and her dress askew. At least she wasn’t naked. She felt another wave of nausea and covered her mouth with her hand, holding it back just long enough to speak. “Please go…” She didn’t want him to see her like this. She needed him to leave before the next wave. He stepped forward and the next wave crashed over her. She retched into the chamber pot even though she knew nothing would come out but bile. She had nothing left in her system and could not hold anything down to replenish what she had been losing all day. 

He rushed over and kneeled next to her, brushing her hair from her face. She looked up at him. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. “What can I do?” He asked. “What do you need?”

“Nothing…” She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“You are not fine.”

“It’s just...morning sickness.” She gagged then grimaced. “I’ll be fine. Dimitri, please...I don’t...want...”

He peeked into the pot and was relieved to see it was empty. He needed to get her to her bed and go get Manuela. “Can you stand?” She sniffed and shook her head. “Alright.” He stood and walked back out into her room. He removed his cloak and gauntlets and set them on the floor before going back in the washroom. She was sitting with her knees bent and her head in her hands. He walked over and bent down in front of her. 

“I am going to help you to your feet.” She nodded, her face still in her hands. He threaded his arms underneath hers and wrapped them around her back, easily pulling her to a standing position. He thought about letting go once she was standing, but the moment he was going to move, her knees wobbled, and she almost fell out of his grasp. 

She cried out and shook her head, holding on to his upper arms for balance. “My legs are shaking...I can’t feel my legs…”

He wondered how long she had been on the floor. “If I guide you, do you think you can walk back into your bedroom?”

“No…” She sobbed and shook her head. “I don’t think I can.”

He nodded and put one arm firmly around her waist to hold her up. With his other hand, he directed her to put her arms around his neck. Then he bent, and with a quick adjustment to get his arm under her knees, he lifted her up. He could hear her sniffling in his ear as he carried her to her bed and sat her in it. He pulled away from her and looked around the room wondering where she kept her pajamas.

She cleared her throat. "Pot…" He turned and looked at her again. "Can you...bring me an empty chamber pot."

"Of course." He nodded and went into the washroom. 

_"It is a good thing you have gotten over Cyril emptying your pots when you've been sick. His help has been invaluable today. You probably shouldn't have dismissed him for the night."_ Sothis chastised from the corner of the room. " _If you hadn't, he could have helped you off the floor and you wouldn't be as embarrassed as you are about Dimitri carrying you."_

Byleth knew she was blushing over Sothis' words as he handed her the chamber pot. She hugged it and hoped he would just think she was just flushed from being sick. She sniffed. "Thank you."

He asked her where he could find her a nightgown to change into and she sheepishly pointed to an armoire where he found them. He pulled out the topmost one in the drawer he was directed to. He turned his back to her to give her privacy while she changed. He went to her shelf and busied himself making her some peppermint tea. He could hear the rustling of fabric behind him. 

" _You're disgusting. She's sick and you're thinking about the fact that she's changing behind you?"_ Dimitri did his best to ignore Glenn as he made Byleth’s tea. 

_"How dare you think of my daughter that way! She is only sick like this because of you. If any other man were the father of her child, she wouldn't be dealing with the effects of your damned crest."_ Jeralt growled. " _She should have chosen the father of her child better."_

The delicate handle of the teacup he was about to fill snapped off in Dimitri’s fingers, taking a piece of the rim with it. He could not disagree with Jeralt. He knew, from talk he heard around the castle as a child, that his mother had suffered from similar bouts of sickness throughout her pregnancy with him. He sighed. Behind him Byleth was taking heaving breaths. He turned to look. She had changed and was back to hugging the pot. She looked up at him.

"Nothing...is coming out anymore. But I'm still...so nauseated. It's never lasted this long."

"Have you eaten today?" She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Had water, tea, anything?" He shook her head again. "I am going down to the kitchen. I will be back." He left before she could protest.

In the dining hall he spotted Manuela sitting with Seteth and Flayn. He sped over to their table and told her what was going on. She excused herself and rushed out of the dining hall. He walked to the kitchen and pulled out a basket. He grabbed a thick coffee mug for her tea and with the help of one of the cooks, filled a small pot with broth. The cook added a sackful of salted crackers and sent Dimitri on his way with a promise to tell Byleth she hoped she felt better soon. 

When he arrived back in Byleth’s room, Manuela was sitting on the foot of the bed and Byleth was gone. Manuela pointed to the washroom before he could ask where she was.

"I gave her some medicine and she has orders to come see me in the morning. She should be fine for now. I also gave her a stern talking to about coming to me for help when she needs it. She's entirely too proud."

"I am well aware of that." Dimitri said, putting the basket down and taking the mug out to prepare Byleth’s tea. 

“Like speaks to like, after all.” Manuela grinned at him. “Still, I’m extremely glad you found her. She might have spent the entire night on the floor otherwise. I will leave her in your care, but feel free to come fetch me if things take a turn again." She gave him some final instructions and left. He sat and waited for Byleth.

By the time Byleth came out of the washroom she was feeling much better. It was amazing what a little medicine and a quick bath could do. She was happy to see Dimitri sitting at her desk. "You're still here." 

He nodded. "I hope that is alright. I wanted to make sure you ate something before you went to sleep."

"It is, thank you. I'm famished."

He pointed at her bed and she sat down. He brought over a mug with steaming peppermint tea and set it on her bedside table. "Manuela said to sip it."

He pulled the chair over next to the bed and opened the basket, handing her the crackers. "Daisy said to take small bites and save a few for morning. She also said to tell you she hopes you feel better soon." 

Byleth smiled.

He took out the soup and a spoon and held it out to her. He was reminded of taking care of her after her father died. "I imagine I don't need to force feed you this time..."

"You imagine correctly." She took the soup and spoon and began eating. 

He sat with her while she ate and listened as she talked about how she was going to catch Daisy a hundred fish for the kitchen once she felt better. He listened, once her dinner was gone, as she told him the next day was Hilda’s birthday and Caspar was finally going to confess his feelings for her. He listened as her voice slurred and her eyes grew heavy as her tea turned cold. He listened to her bid him goodnight as he gathered everything back into the basket.

"Good night, Byleth." He whispered and left her room.

" _One night of taking care of her means nothing. Don't go getting your hopes up that she still loves you."_ Glenn said.

Dimitri didn’t listen.

***

**_Tuesday_ **

Byleth picked up the two coffee mugs full of tea she had prepared and walked up to the table where Dimitri had just finished his dinner and was sitting alone. She placed his mug next to him. He looked up at her quizzically. 

“Tea.” She said.

“I see that.” He picked it up and sipped it. “Are we staying here in the dining hall?”

“No, I was thinking you might want to come for a short walk with me.” She grinned. “Something I’ve been helping with is about to happen at the fishing pond and I’d like to watch. I think I mentioned it last night. Hilda’s birthday surprise?”

Dimitri nodded. He stood and picked up his tea. Together, they walked out of the dining hall. She led him to the wall overlooking the fishing pond and they leaned on it, drinking their tea. 

He cleared his throat. “You appear to be feeling much better today.”

“I am... I wanted to thank you again for helping me last night.” She shook her head. “I’m so embarrassed that you had to see me like that.”

“You do not have to be embarrassed with me.”

“I know. It’s hard not to be though.” She put her cup on the ledge next to her and looked out toward the pond to where Caspar and Linhardt were standing at the end of the pier. Well, Linhardt was standing. Caspar was nervously jumping up and down and shadowboxing. She knew that Lysithea would be leading Hilda there any minute. 

“Have you been sick like that before?” He asked, snapping her out of her reverie. 

She nodded. “Just not as bad. Manuela said that morning sickness is usually the worst at nine weeks, so I’m hoping this is the worst of it and it gets better from here.” Manuela had given her a bracelet that dampened crests. An old friend in Adrestia had sent it to her. Byleth was supposed to wear it during the day for the rest of the week. She would still be sick, but not to the extent she had been the day before. 

“I believe we are about to see what you have been waiting for.” Dimitri gestured with his mug and Byleth saw that Lysithea was leading Hilda to the pier. “If I may ask, why is this significant for you?”

“Well, you can’t cuddle for warmth with someone without getting close.” He looked at her in surprise. “The night before we fought the thieves when everyone first reunited, I cuddled up with Hilda and Bernie. Between that and seeing her at war meetings every day, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Hilda. She’s been in love with Caspar for years but refuses to make the first move and just tell him how she feels. She hides the reasoning behind nonsense about noble traditions, but...I think she’s just scared to be vulnerable enough to put herself out there and find out he doesn’t feel the same way about her. He's too dense to pick up her hints so Linhardt told him and here we are.”

“Maybe he is not dense.” Dimitri said, as they watched Linhardt and Lysithea walk away and leave the other two alone. Caspar handed Hilda a small bunch of flowers. “It could be that he is also afraid to be vulnerable.”

“Maybe.” Byleth smiled as they watched the scene before them unfold. 

Caspar was talking and gesticulating wildly. Hilda was swaying and sniffing her flowers. It continued for a few moments and Byleth wondered what they were saying. She had a good idea of what it was when she saw Caspar stop fidgeting and rub the back of his neck. She swore she could see his blush all the way from where they stood. Hilda stilled and looked up at him with her eyes wide. She had to look up pretty far. Hilda was one of the two shortest of her former students and Caspar had grown like a weed in the five years that Byleth was gone. Caspar closed the gap between them, pulled Hilda into an embrace, and kissed her. Next to her, Dimitri huffed out a short laugh while Byleth instinctively covered her mouth in shock, even though she knew it was going to happen. 

“Perhaps it is good to be vulnerable sometimes.” Dimitri said. 

“I agree. If only it wasn’t so hard to do.” She brought her hand down from her face and accidentally brushed it against the mugs they had sitting on the ledge. They both watched as the cups tumbled and smashed to pieces below. Caspar and Hilda both turned to look for the cause of the sound. Dimitri turned around, as if that would hide him. 

“Oops.” Byleth waved at Caspar and Hilda, who were walking hand in hand away from the fishing pond. “I should probably get down there and clean that up. I wouldn’t want any of the cats or dogs to step on a piece of our mugs and get hurt.” 

“Allow me. You were ill yesterday. You should not be exerting yourself.” 

“I can do it, Dimitri. I’m fine now.”

“Did we not just have a conversation about allowing ourselves to be vulnerable? Let me help you.”

She sighed. “I meant emotional vulnerability...but you’re right. Manuela says I need to learn to accept help.” She gestured to the ground below them. “Feel free to clean up my mess.”

He smirked. “I will.”

She shook her head. “Have a good night, Dimitri. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He nodded and she watched as he bounded down the steps to pick up the broken pieces of their cups. 

***

**_Wednesday_ **

They were sitting at one of the tables in the garden and Byleth was sipping her tea when Dimitri spotted it. The sleeve of her cloak had pooled at her elbow and it revealed a familiar bracelet on her wrist. She was only wearing one, so there was no chain connecting it to a second one, and it was a bit thinner, but it was unmistakable. Her bracelet was exactly like the cuffs Cornelia had forced him to wear in jail. He had spent a week staring at them and trying to take them off, he remembered them well.

"Why are you wearing that?!" He stared at her wrist in disgust. "Do you know what that thing is?"

She looked at the bracelet in confusion. "This? Manuela gave it to me. It dampens crests…"

"I know what it does!" He growled. A throbbing pain erupted behind his eyepatch. "Why are _you_ wearing it? Why would she give you that? You have to take it off!"

"I can't. Part of why I was so sick was the babies' crests are making my morning sickness worse. I'm wearing it during the day this week to cut down on their influence since the sickness is at its peak right now." She looked at him. "Mothers of crested babies have used them for years. Why are you so upset by it?"

He shook his head. He wanted to explode at her. He wanted to reach across the table and tear it from her wrist himself. 

" _This is a mockery of your pain. Of everything that you suffered."_ His uncle spoke and Dimitri could not ignore him. The pain in his lost eye intensified the sound of his voice. In comparison, Byleth’s voice sounded so far away. " _You cannot tell her what happened in that cell. She will think you weak; she will see you as the soiled, rotten soul you are! Speak not a word!"_

"Dimitri…"

He could not hold it in. "Because I was forced to wear them when I was in prison! Twin cuffs that looked just like that and did just what that bracelet does!" He roared, trying to catch his breath. "If it were not for those contraptions…" He shook his head. His entire body seemed to shake with it. "If they had not dampened my crest my increased stamina would have helped me when they gave me no food; it would have helped me when they tortured me and did not let me sleep. With the increased strength I could have escaped; I would not have been too weak to fight back…" He squeezed his eyelids shut. He refused to cry.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Manuela knew. She knows everything."

"She didn't tell me." Byleth reached for his hand across the table and he flinched away, snatching it out of her reach. "Dimitri...why won't you talk to me about what happened to you?"

"I am not ready to talk about it!" 

"You just said Manuela knows everything…"

"I am not ready for _you_ to know!" He yelled. "It is not something I want you to know!"

"Why?" She shook her head. "Do you not trust me? Have I-"

"That is not why...Do you think this is easy for me?!" She shook her head. Upon seeing tears in her eyes, his strength wavered, and a few slipped out of his against his will. He took a deep breath. "I am not prepared for it to change. I am not ready to see you look at me differently."

"What makes you think I would?"

He stood up. "Because I know what happened! And I think of myself differently! Why wouldn't you?!" He shouted. He was starting to cry in earnest and so was she. "I have to go..."

"Dimitri, please stay… Please...talk to me." She looked down at the table. "Stay until you finish your tea at least?" 

She was reaching, he knew it and so did she. Still, he picked up his cup and she watched as he drained it in three large gulps. The hot liquid burned on the way down his throat and the heat settled in his chest. He exhaled sharply and slammed the cup back onto the table, breaking it in the process. He looked at her and even though his vision blurred he was appalled by the pity he saw in her eyes. The pity he knew would increase tenfold if he told her what she wanted to know. He hated her pity, so he ran away from it. He turned and ran from her.

***

**_Thursday_ **

Dimitri had a terrible night. He was plagued by nightmares when he slept and when he was awake, his ghosts were screaming in his ears. He tried not to listen to any of them, but it was difficult. Through it all, Dedue’s voice kept telling him that he should not have yelled at Byleth about the bracelet, that she had no way of knowing what it signified to him, and that he should apologize to her for his behavior. He did not want to wait until their daily teatime to say he was sorry, but she was not at the war meeting again that day. He wondered if she was taking another sick day, but he did not get a chance to ask Seteth before the meeting started. He was so worried he could scarcely pay attention all through the meeting. They could have voted to opt out of the war altogether and he would not have noticed, which his father’s ghost yelled at him about all afternoon. 

He was, therefore, shocked, to see her at dinner. She was sitting with Annette, Ashe, and Mercedes, smiling, and laughing and not looking the least bit ill. He watched and waited for her to finish eating so he could go over and apologize before tea. He was about to go to their table when she stood up and looked straight at him. Their eyes connected across the room. Her face was blank. She shook her head and walked out of the dining hall. He stared after her and was about to follow until he realized that Mercedes was standing in front of him. 

“Hello, Your Highness.” She bowed. “Byleth told me to tell you she gave back the bracelet and she is not in the mood to do homework. She said you would know what that meant.” 

He nodded. “I do. Thank you, Mercedes.” Mercedes smiled and returned to sit with Annette and Ashe. He understood what Byleth’s message meant. It meant she did not want to speak to him, but he had something he wanted to say to her, and he needed to say it before he lost his nerve. He left the dining hall. He was not sure if he was really going to go try to talk to her until he found himself at the foot of the staircase leading to the audience chamber. He did not know if Byleth had gone to her quarters, but he did not care. If she was not there, he would wait. 

Dimitri knocked on the door and was startled when she opened it. She looked equally surprised to see him standing there.

She frowned. “What are you doing here?” She did not move to let him in. 

“I need to speak with you.”

“I’m not interested.” Byleth tried to close the door but he stopped her. 

“Please. I would like to apologize....”

She crossed her arms. “For what? Yelling at me? Walking out on me? Making me feel so guilty about wearing a device that was helping me that I gave it back and I’ve been sick all day again? Not telling me about what you went through because you thought I would judge you? Not knowing that you could tell me anything and I would never judge you?!”

“Yes.” He grimaced. “All of that.”

“Go ahead then.” She sighed and let him in. “But make it quick because I gave the bracelet back to Manuela and I’m not sure how much longer I have before I need to throw up again.”

He took a deep breath and watched as she moved to sit on her bed. “I am sorry. I apologize for everything. But if you really need the bracelet, you should get it back. My being uncomfortable with it should not matter if it helps you. I should not have yelled at you and I should not have walked away in the middle of an argument.”

She nodded. “And?”

“And... I am sorry that I have not told you...that I cannot tell you about what happened to me. I would like to, but I cannot.” She huffed and shook her head. “It is not because of you. I do trust you. I know you would not judge me. It is just too soon.”

“Too soon?”

“Yes. Too soon for us to talk about it.” He sat on her desk chair, leaving it at her desk instead of moving it closer. “We have only just started speaking to each other again. I do not want to jeopardize that by talking about something so…” He groaned and put his elbows on his knees, burying his head in his hands. “I cannot express what I am trying to say...”

“Well, I’m not supposed to try to guess anymore.”

“I know. But you can if you would like.”

“Dimitri, look at me...” He removed his hands from his face. “I understand that it’s a difficult thing for you to talk about. Is it...is it harder to talk to me about it because we are trying so hard to keep the peace between us and keep our interactions amicable? Do you not want to talk to me about it because you know that it won’t be a pleasant conversation?”

He did not understand how she could sometimes read him so wrong, like when she thought he hated her, and others know exactly what he was thinking. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes.”

She raked her hands through her hair. “I guess I understand that considering how our last serious conversation went…” 

“I would like to apologize for that again as well. It could not have been easy for you to have to tell me you were pregnant with the way I had been treating you.” He stood up and walked over to the side of the bed. He thought about sitting next to her and decided against it. Instead, he took a knee in front of her, as if waiting for her to knight him. “I am working on my anger, and figuring out how to live with these ghosts...”

“Ghosts? What ghosts?” 

“That...is something else I am not ready to talk about yet. This is not easy, but I need you to promise me that if I start treating you badly again, you will tell me. I do not want you to suffer for my behavior and I would hate to get so lost in my own madness that I do not realize I am being cruel to you.”

“Ok...I promise to tell you if you’re being an ass.” She smiled slightly. Even her small smiles were enough to melt his cold heart. 

“Thank you.” He sighed. “And I will tell you everything. You should know and... I suppose I want you to know. I just need time.”

She nodded. “I won’t press you about it again. You can tell me when you’re ready.” She looked down at the floor. “Doesn’t your knee hurt, kneeling like that?”

“Yes. It is decidedly uncomfortable.” 

“Get up then.” She chuckled and it turned into a yawn. “You should probably go, actually. I wasn’t trying to be mean when I had Merci give you that message. I’m tired from being sick all day and I really am just not in the mood to have tea…. I tried actually.” She pointed at her shelf and the pieces of a broken teacup sitting on it next to her teapot. “I never even got to the point of pouring it when I broke the cup.” 

He stood up. “You should get the bracelet back from Manuela.” 

She shook her head. “I don’t want to wear it if it’s going to bring up painful memories for you.” 

“Please. Your health is more important to me, truly. I was just not prepared to see it yesterday and I reacted badly. It will not happen again.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.” He nodded and walked to the door. “I will see you tomorrow. Have a good night until then.”

“Goodnight, Dimitri.”

He walked from her new quarters to her old room, where he was staying, and managed to have a much better night than the previous one. 

***

**_Friday_ **

Byleth gathered her belongings and quickly got up from the table and left the war meeting. The last thing she wanted was to talk to anyone, especially Dimitri. After the meeting they had just had, any conversation between them would surely end in an argument. War meetings were never a pleasant affair, but today’s had been particularly contentious. They had been discussing their next course of action after meeting up with Rodrigue and getting their much-needed reinforcements. 

Dimitri was insistent that they move toward Enbarr so he could kill Edelgard and win the war. 

Ferdinand disagreed and said they would face more resistance than they thought. Felix agreed with Ferdinand and added that it would be best to try to retake the Kingdom first. They voted and it ended in a tie, which led to a lot of arguing on all sides. Byleth was drained. To add to that, even with wearing the bracelet again, she was still feeling sick. She just needed to get back to her room without anyone stopping her. She made it all the way down the stairs and halfway through the empty reception hall before she heard Dimitri’s heavy footsteps behind her, catching up. She cursed his longer legs and tried to speed up. 

“Byleth, wait!” She kept walking and felt his hand around her upper arm and was forced to a stop. She had the urge to rip the bracelet off just to be able to overpower him and leave. 

She looked up at him. “Let go of my arm.”

He let her go. “Byleth…”

“Dimitri, I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Well, I do.” The growl in his voice was back. He was seething. “We need to talk about what just happened in there. You did not vote with me to march for Enbarr. Why?!”

“Because I think it’s a bad idea. Like us, talking now, is also a bad idea.”

“How could it be bad? You saw the map! We have the advantage!”

“And you heard Ferdinand, and you know he’s right. I know that getting back at Edelgard is important to you, but we can’t do it without more help!” She shook her head. “I don’t want to argue or hear arguments about this anymore. We just sat through a three-hour meeting that was nothing but people arguing about this. I’m serious about us not talking right now.”

“Manuela said we are supposed to talk.”

“Yes, about non-war related things.” She started to walk again. He followed and she stopped. “Why are you so eager to fight with me?”

“I am not looking to fight! I just want to talk about- “

“You want to talk about why I’m wrong for wanting to retake Fhirdiad before trying to go further into Adrestia.”

“Yes...”

“That conversation will end in a fight and I don’t want to fight with you!” She sighed. “It feels like every time we make some sort of progress with our communication, something happens, and we get into a fight. Then one of us runs away from the other. We need to learn to both walk away before the fight happens and cool down before talking. _Before_ we get mad at each other and say things we might regret out of anger.”

“That sounds like something Manuela would say.” Dimitri narrowed his eyes at her. 

She held up her hand to show Dimitri that she was wearing the bracelet again. “I talked to her this morning. It’s one of the many things she said to me.” She paused. She knew he would not like what she was about to say. “Dimitri, I think we should cancel our tea today and talk tomorrow.”

He shook his head. “I do not want to cancel. We do not have to argue. We can talk about other things!” 

“No. See, this is what I mean; we’re arguing already...” She shook her head. “We are both in bad moods from that meeting. That is unlikely to change in the next hour no matter how good dinner is. I’m mad right now, but I am not mad at _you_ ; are you mad at me?”

He closed his eye. “I am angry…” He looked at her. “But I suppose I am not angry at you, no.”

“Good. I’d like to keep it that way. Do you want to have tea with me after lunch tomorrow since we don’t have war meetings on weekends?”

“I would prefer not to cancel today…”

“If you would prefer, we can have tea today, get into a huge argument, end up mad at each other and then not speak again for a week or more.” She shrugged. “Your choice.”

“We would have to talk on Sunday for counseling.”

“And... you’re arguing with me again, Dimitri.”

He sighed. She could tell he was annoyed. She held her breath. “Very well. We can cancel for today and meet after lunch tomorrow.”

She relaxed. The thought of going straight to her room and going to bed after dinner sounded wonderful. Perhaps she would take a long bath. She smiled. “And all the teacups and mugs in Garreg Mach will live to see another day.”

“Indeed. It is likely in my current mood I would break at least one.” He grumbled.

“True, but so would I. Since this thing also dampens my crest, I feel a little clumsy and off balance. Chances are I’d break one too.” 

He nodded and bowed to her, then walked away. He was clearly still angry, but a bit calmer than he was a few minutes ago. She wanted so badly to pull him back and into a hug, which was an odd sensation for her since she didn’t particularly enjoy hugs. She walked toward the dining hall to grab something small to take up to her room for dinner. Her bathtub was calling her name. 

***

**_Saturday_ **

They were sitting in the courtyard again. Taking the previous evening to be apart had been a good idea. Their conversation had been pleasant thus far. Byleth felt more like herself. On Manuela’s orders, she had taken the bracelet off again to gauge how her morning sickness was doing, and she was thrilled to have only thrown up in the morning so far. Dimitri was telling her that he had trained with Felix that morning and Felix had shown him his Zoltan sword. The look on his face was the most pure and excited Byleth had seen in an awfully long time. He looked...cute. Her teacup exploded in her hands a few seconds later.

"Teacups, pens, chairs...this morning I broke the string on my sandals.... I’m getting so sick of the Crest of Blaiddyd!" Byleth exclaimed, as she used her napkin to towel off the tea that was sure to stain her white dress. She looked at Dimitri, who was looking at her with his eye wide. "No offense, of course."

"Perhaps you should have chosen the father of your children better and you would not have this issue." Dimitri grumbled around a cookie. He was being sarcastic. Byleth thought he might be spending too much time with her. It didn’t stop her from being sarcastic back.

"Yeah...perhaps I should have. Believe me if I could go back..." Byleth trailed off as she busied herself picking up the pieces of the broken teacup and cleaning the spilled tea.

 _"Oh, why did you say that?! Look how sad he looks now."_ Sothis said.

Byleth looked up to find Dimitri was staring at her. He did look sad. She sighed. "I'm sorry. I... I didn’t mean that. I was being sarcastic.” 

“I understand.”

“Do you?” She looked at him. “Dimitri, you know that even if I could go back... I would never choose anyone else but you." She felt the heat rise to her own face at her words and saw the mirror effect on Dimitri’s face.

He shook his head, but the corner of his mouth turned up slightly. "Even if everything would be so much easier with someone else?"

"I've never shied away from hard work." Byleth shrugged. “I’m a former mercenary, remember?”

"What you are, is a glutton for punishment."

Byleth grinned, which turned into a laugh and Dimitri visibly brightened. 

"Maybe I am a little."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Dimitri finished his tea. She closed her eyes, leaned back in her chair, and breathed in the crisp late winter air, feeling more relaxed than she had since waking up.

"Byleth…" She opened her eyes and looked at him. "I would never choose anyone else either."

She looked down at her lap. As handsome as she thought he was, he was definitely still cute sometimes. “I’m excited for us to go talk to Manuela tomorrow. I think she’ll be proud of our progress.” 

“I wanted to ask you about that…” She looked back up. He cleared his throat. “I would like to, if it is acceptable to you that is...I would like to go earlier and be present for _your_ appointment with Manuela. For the babies’ appointment?”

She felt warm and knew she must be blushing again. She nodded. “Leonie won the spar this week, so she will be there instead of Felix...but I would really like it if you were there too.” She held his gaze, and she felt the warmth spread from her face all through her. Dimitri wanting to be there was what she wanted most. She wanted him to be interested in the twins so that the interest could turn to excitement. They both looked down and were silent for a while. 

“Dimitri?” He looked up at her again. “Earlier this week, you asked me if I thought this was going to work. If our homework would help us?” 

“I did ask you that. You said you did not know.”

“I didn’t.” She took a deep breath. “But I know now. I do think this is going to work.”

He nodded slowly. “I believe it will, as well.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you go. Hope it was worth the wait! I'll try to stay healthy for you guys so I can finish my updates on time. I probably won't get the next one done by Friday, so Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!
> 
> The greatest gift I could receive? You know what I want...a pony! Just kidding, gift me your comments and kudos!


	27. I Won't Give Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri attends Byleth's appointment, followed by counseling where they learn how to understand each other better. Byleth and Dimitri connect in the training grounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry this update took me so long, I had the worst writer's block. I haven't even finished my story for Dimitri week yet! If you haven't read it, go check out The Fallen Prince, which I do plan on finishing this week. 
> 
> My beta told me she never got the email letting her know about the last update, so if the last chapter you read wasn't Byleth and Dimirti drinking a bunch of tea, you might have missed one!
> 
> Chapter title and song for this chapter: "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz, a song I love so so much.

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got  
Yeah, we got a lot at stake_

****

**_Pegasus Moon - 8th_ **

When Byleth and Leonie walked into the infirmary, Dimitri was already there. Byleth was happy to see that he was eager enough to have gotten there early. When she told Leonie that Dimitri had asked to attend the appointment, Leonie quickly went from constantly offering to beat him up, to planning what she called, “the wedding of the millennium.” Byleth just rolled her eyes at her best friend, but secretly the thought of marrying Dimitri gave her butterflies in her stomach. Part of her would marry him that day if he asked, but the other part knew that they weren’t anywhere near ready for that yet.

When Byleth saw that Manuela was holding out an infirmary gown for her to put on, she got a feeling in her stomach that was altogether different and uncomfortable. “Are we doing that today?!”

“That was the plan, yes.” Manuela said. “Remember, we were going to do it last week, but Felix was here, and you said you would rather do it when Leonie was here.”

“Ok, but Dimitri is here today so…” Byleth sighed and crossed her arms. “Can we do it next week?”

Manuela crossed her arms in return. “Byleth, you can’t keep putting it off. This should be done within the first twelve weeks and you are already almost there. I have to check to make sure things are developing correctly. It’s especially important since you are having twins. We only have to do it once now and then again once you are near the end. It will just be in and out in no time at all.” 

She grimaced. “Do you have to phrase it like that?” Manuela said nothing, just held out the gown to her again.

“Byleth...I can leave the room, if it would make you more comfortable with whatever is happening.” Dimitri offered.

Byleth snatched the gown from Manuela’s hands. “No, you can stay. There is nothing in the world that would make what is about to happen more comfortable.” 

“Take everything off and put it on with the opening in the front, like a robe.” Manuela said as Byleth went behind a drawn curtain to change into the infirmary gown. As she undressed, she listened to the conversation on the other side of the curtain. Manuela was explaining to Dimitri that Byleth was going to have a pelvic exam and what exactly that entailed. 

“You are going to do what?!” Byleth heard Dimitri shout and she tried to fight the urge to peek around the curtain to see his expression. Maybe his distress would help her feel less nervous about it herself. She took a quick look and saw Manuela smiling at a very red-faced and uncomfortable looking Dimitri. 

“It really isn’t that invasive. I’m very gentle; I assure you.” Manuela said. 

“Perhaps I will leave the room after all.” 

Byleth finished changing and came out from behind the curtain, holding the gown closed. Dimitri was now sitting in a chair looking pale and Manuela was feeling his forehead. “You would never make it through the delivery if just hearing about a simple pelvic exam is causing you this much discomfort, Your Highness. This is one of the main reasons men are not usually allowed in the room when their children are born.”

“My mom always used to say men are all excited to make babies, but when it comes to the business of bearing and birthing them, it’s a different story.” Leonie laughed.

Dimitri looked at Byleth. “I will not get to be in the room when they are born?” 

Byleth shrugged and looked at Manuela for an answer. “Will he?”

“Traditionally, men aren’t in the delivery room, Your Highness, especially nobles. And based on this...” Manuela motioned to Dimitri and shook her head. “As of right now, I’d say the answer is no. But we can revisit the question once we are closer to the birth if you’d like.” 

“If I may ask, if I am not allowed, then who will be there with her?” Dimitri asked. 

“I will, of course!” Leonie said, rubbing Byleth’s shoulder. “And Mercedes has offered to be there too.” Dimitri nodded but he did not look satisfied with the answer. 

Byleth bit her lip and took her place on the bed. She put her knees up but kept them held closely together. 

“Now…” Manuela turned to Byleth. “We’ll do the breasts first, that’s the easy part.” Manuela reached under the opening of the gown and Byleth winced. Dimitri looked away.

“Ah! If this is the easy part, I’m in trouble. They hurt like crazy! Even when I accidentally touch them, they hurt. Is that normal?” 

“Yes.” Manuela closed the top of the gown again. “The pain is probably at its peak right now. Things usually calm down in that area at the twelve-week mark and don’t really pick up again until your milk comes in.” Manuela picked up a glove from the table beside the bed and put it on. She looked at Byleth. “Ok...are you ready?”

“No, but let’s get it over with.” Byleth lay her head back and pouted. Manuela covered Byleth’s bottom half with a sheet and tapped on her knees. She let them fall open and decided she needed to distract herself. She looked at Dimitri. “Hey Dimitri...do you really want to be in the room when they are born?” She tried to hold his gaze but winced and closed her eyes as Manuela inserted her fingers and started the pelvic exam. “Ow…oh, that hurts...”

“Breathe through it, By.” Leonie said, squeezing Byleth’s shoulder. 

“I would want to be there but…” He blanched as he watched Manuela press on Byleth’s abdomen, knowing what her other hand was doing under the sheet. He closed his eye tightly. “If it is worse than this…”

Manuela shook her head. “Relax and try to breathe normally, Byleth. We are almost done.” She looked from Byleth who had her eyes squeezed shut and was still holding her breath to Dimitri who also had his eye closed and wondered, not for the first time, how the two of them ever got over their shyness long enough for Byleth to get pregnant in the first place. She withdrew her fingers. “All finished. You can both open your eyes now.” Manuela walked away from them to wash her hands in the nearby basin. 

“Still want to be in the birthing room, Your Highness?” Leonie asked with a smirk. Dimitri glared at her and she laughed. 

“At this point, I don’t even want to be there. That was horrible!” Byleth said.

Manuela sat down and opened her notebook. “Despite your discomfort, I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear that everything seems to be progressing well. I was worried that you might have some trouble, being as thin as you are, but it seems they will have ample room to grow in there.”

Byleth took a deep breath. “Growing, great. That’s great, but what about coming out? Will they have enough room to come out?”

“I think your pelvis is big enough that you shouldn’t have an issue with that. Twins are usually smaller than single births anyway.” Manuela looked at Dimitri. “Although with you being as large as you are...do you happen to know how much you weighed at birth, Your Highness?”

Dimitri furrowed his brow as he tried to remember. “Nine...and a half pounds, I believe.” 

“Goodness, you were a big baby!” Manuela giggled even as Byleth paled. “Don’t worry, Byleth. I’m sure you won’t have two nine-pound babies.”

“Manuela, what if they are that big? What if I can’t handle it? If I thought that stupid pelvic exam was painful, how am I supposed to get through childbirth? Twice! What if I can’t do this?” She looked at Dimitri, who looked at her, clearly concerned, before turning back to Manuela. “What if I don’t make it? What if they don’t?”

“Byleth…” Manuela started, but Byleth interrupted her. 

“No, Manuela.” Byleth put her hand on her unbeating heart. She was panicking and she didn’t know how to stop. “You know what my mother did to save me...what if something happens and I have to give up my heart so one of them can live? How would I even decide which one to save? I wouldn’t be able to save them both the way my mom saved me…”

“Nothing is going to happen to you or your babies.” Manuela said softly. “You will not have to make that decision.”

“But my mother…”

Manuela stood up and sat on the bed next to Byleth, putting an arm around her. “My dear, I have been talking to Seteth to get a little bit of your mother’s history, and he told me Sitri had been sickly her whole life. You, on the other hand, have always been perfectly healthy. There is no reason to believe you will meet the same fate she did.”

Byleth nodded. “I know, but...I’m scared. I don’t want to die in childbirth or lose my babies. If I lived and they didn’t…” Byleth shook her head. “Manuela, it would kill me.” Leonie hugged Byleth on the opposite side from Manuela. 

_“I already told you; I will not let anything happen to you, or your little ones. I saved you all from falling off a cliff, you don’t think I can get you through childbirth?!”_ Sothis admonished her from the foot of the bed. “ _Be strong. You will be just fine.”_

“Byleth, it is ok to be scared, normal even. I can guarantee you there has never been a first-time mother who wasn’t terrified by those same thoughts at some point. You know I would never tell you to deny yourself your feelings.” Manuela patted Byleth on the head. “That being said, I don’t want you to be consumed by these fears. You will get through this as women have gotten through it since time immemorial. I have complete faith in you.”

Byleth felt the warmth and love from Leonie and Manuela and it fortified her enough to look up at Dimitri. He was staring at her. She held his gaze, and she was able to feel his support even though he didn’t say anything for the rest of the short appointment. 

He was silent as Manuela asked Byleth about her symptoms the previous week and she told her about the crest making her break things and how she felt so much sicker when she wasn’t wearing the bracelet. He said nothing as Byleth told Manuela that even though it helped her symptoms, she didn’t want to keep wearing it since it also made her feel more tired and off balance when she did. If Manuela noticed that Dimitri was quiet, she didn’t say anything about it. 

Soon enough the appointment was over, and Leonie bid them goodbye. Manuela sent Byleth back behind the curtain to change and followed Leonie to the door where they giggled about something Byleth couldn’t hear. Manuela locked the door and when Byleth was dressed again she saw that Dimitri and Manuela had moved to the chairs where they were sitting during counseling the week before. She took a deep breath and walked over to her designated chair. No matter what Manuela had in store for them for counseling this week, Byleth was sure it would not be anywhere near as torturous as a pelvic exam.

***

“Ok you two, before we do anything else this week, let’s go ahead and talk about the elephant in the room.” She turned to Dimitri. “You got very quiet...well no, you basically shut down after Byleth mentioned her fears during the appointment just now. Can you open back up and tell us how hearing that made you feel?”

He nodded slowly and looked at Byleth. He had just gotten her back, the thought that he might lose her again was too painful to think about. He had realized, listening to Byleth express her fears, that he had a lot of the same fears that she did. “I suppose... I did not know l was so afraid of losing her again, but hearing it said aloud...I realized how much it scares me.” He turned to Manuela. “Is there a real possibility that she could...die?” He covered his mouth with his gloved hand, as if saying the words out loud made them more likely to happen. 

Manuela nodded. “There is always a _possibility_ that something can go wrong in childbirth, but in this case, I do not think the _probability_ is high. At all. It used to be more common, but it is rare now unless there are underlying complications. Not to mention she will have me and Mercedes there.” Manuela looked to Byleth. “Believe it or not, that is saying something. I have personally delivered over a hundred babies and I have not lost a mom yet. Plus, Mercedes is probably the best healer I have ever met. Between the two of us, we will take good care of you.” She turned back to Dimitri. “We will take care of them, Your Highness.”

Dimitri nodded and looked at Byleth. “I also...it made me feel terrible that I could not comfort you when you were upset, like Leonie and Manuela did. I wanted to and I could not. I felt...useless.” 

Byleth cocked her head. “What do you mean? I thought you were supportive.”

“I just sat there. I did not hug you the way they did, or hold your hand, or do anything that would have actually comforted you.” He looked down at the floor. 

“And yet, I’m telling you that I felt comforted by your presence. You didn’t have to _do_ anything.”

Dimitri shook his head. “You do not understand.”

“No, you don’t understand.”

“This seems like a good time to go into our connection activity this week.” Manuela said, standing and getting to pieces of paper and pens from her desk and bringing them over. “For the record, I think you are both right. Neither of you understand the other. But after this activity, maybe you will.”

Manuela gave them each a paper and pen and explained that she was going to be reading them pairs of phrases. The phrases described things people did to show affection and love in relationships. For each pair they each had to pick which of the two options would be more meaningful to them. It was easy enough and Dimitri far preferred it to the eye contact exercise from the week prior. When they finished, they handed their papers to Manuela and waited while she looked them over. 

“This reminds me of being in the academy and waiting to get an exam grade back.” Dimitri said, crossing his arms. 

“It was certainly easier being on the other side of a test.” She looked at Dimitri and smiled. “I bet you did better than I did.”

“Doubtful. I must have gotten at least half of them wrong.”

Manuela laughed as she wrote on one of their papers. “This isn’t that kind of a test. There are no wrong answers.”

“Really? Because some of them felt like they would be the wrong answer.” Byleth said. 

“I agree. That is what made it difficult.” Dimitri ran his hand through his hair. “For some options both of them felt wrong and for others both felt right.”

Manuela nodded. “Would it surprise you to learn that you did not agree on many of the answers?” They looked at each other. “It doesn’t surprise me. If anything, it solidifies what my opinion already was, but I’m glad I did the test to be sure. The two of you experience love and affection differently. Let's revisit the conversation you were just having before we started this.”

“Dimitri, you felt that you weren’t doing enough to comfort Byleth because you didn’t hug her or reassure her physically in any way. That is because you give and receive love through physical touch.” Dimitri’s eye widened in shock. “Not necessarily romantic touch, but touching is important for you to feel connected to someone. Think about your early relationship together and remember all the times you touched before things were romantic between you.” 

Dimitri thought about it and remembered all the sparring, every time she would adjust his form, how she held his hand as she led him around the monastery as they ran looking for Seteth after they found Flayn, all those times she brushed his unruly hair out of his face and left him blushing, when they held hands the night of the ball as they walked to the goddess tower, dancing with her in the moonlight, the countless pats on the shoulder, back, and arms, any and every time she leaned on his shoulder, carrying her from the sealed forest after she merged with Sothis. There was no denying it. Every touch, no matter how small, was like a sonnet straight to his heart. 

“I believe you may be right about that.” He said. 

Manuela smiled sadly. “My theory is that’s also why the things that happened to you in prison and in the past five years have affected you the way they have. The torture, the fighting - I believe negative physical contact is worse for people who experience love through touch. Especially since you have not had any positive contact in a long time to balance out the negative.” Dimitri nodded.

“Then why…” Byleth looked at Dimitri. “Why do you wince and shy away any time I try to touch you? I mean, that day in the village after our last battle; I understand why you pulled away then. But every other time?”

Dimitri shook his head and opened his mouth to respond but found he did not have an answer to give. "I am not sure."

“It’s ok if you don’t know, Your Highness. That’s one of the things we are here to figure out.” Manuela turned to Byleth. “As for you, Byleth, you don’t primarily experience love through touch, but I’m pretty sure you knew that already.”

Byleth nodded. She’d lived through enough awkward hugs and pats to know she didn’t like most people touching her, except for a select few. Thinking about it, she realized that she didn’t really like touching other people either, except for Dimitri. She wanted to touch him all the time.

“Earlier, you didn’t understand where Dimitri was coming from in saying he didn’t feel like he comforted you because you felt supported merely by the fact that he was there. That’s because you give and receive love through spending time with people. You don’t necessarily have to talk or touch just spending time with them is enough. Now, I want you to think about your early relationship and see if you think that’s accurate.”

Byleth thought about it. She remembered all the late nights reading in the library together, or pouring over maps in the classroom, doing weapons maintenance, having tea, hundreds of shared meals, being near him on the battlefield, him being there for her when her dad died, him standing next to her as she demanded that Rhea give them the order to fight Kronya. If she thought back further, she realized it was the same with others she loved. She thought of all the breakfasts she shared with her dad and the hours they spent fishing without saying a word. 

“That makes a lot of sense.” Byleth finally said. 

Manuela nodded. “I thought it might. For you, being left alone or ignored is just as bad as a slap in the face would be.” Byleth nodded and remembered how much it hurt every time Dimitri told her to go away and how it hurt even more once she did.

“You might be wondering how this helps. Well, it is good to know what the other responds to best, so you can know how best to show affection and so you can recognize affection when the other is giving it.” She looked back down at her papers. “Funnily enough, you both have the same secondary result, which is words. That’s why fixing your communication is so vital. You can lift each other up and destroy each other very easily just with what you say or withhold.”

They looked at each other. Manuela could tell by the looks on their faces, and what she knew about them, that there was probably a lot that they were withholding from each other, including probably the most important thing after admitting that they wanted to be together. She wondered how long it would take before they could say that they loved each other out loud. They both still had so many walls up. 

“Speaking of communication, tell me about your homework for the last week. How did things go at tea, other than all the broken teacups, of course?” 

They went over the events of the past week. All the conversations they had and didn’t have. The smiles, the fights, all of it. Manuela listened diligently through it all and took copious notes. When they finished, she looked back and forth between the two of them. It had gone far better than she thought it would, but they still had a lot of work to do. 

“First of all, I want to apologize to you, Your Highness.” She looked at Dimitri and frowned. “You told me that they dampened your crest with handcuffs in prison, but I never made the connection between those cuffs and the bracelet I gave Byleth. Had I known; I would have prepared you during one of our solo sessions.” He nodded. “Although we have had counseling since the day you two fought about the bracelet. Why didn’t you mention it to me?”

“I did not think it important enough to mention.” He avoided looking at her.

Manuela hummed in response. She would need to dig into that further in his solo session. "Well...I have to say, even with that one argument, I am rather pleased with your progress. You have almost mastered how to have a simple conversation with each other again. If you’d like you can graduate to having meals together.”

“Good! I can make sure you are actually eating.” Byleth said. Dimitri huffed.

“Once you can have multiple meals together without fighting, I can teach you how to argue properly. Until then, continue to try to de-escalate conflict rather than fighting it out.” She laughed. “That might sound odd considering what I’m going to say next, but I am going to give you permission to spar with each other. Keep it light though, we don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

“You are letting us spar?” Dimitri asked.

“Yes.” Manuela nodded. “We are feeding Byleth’s emotional needs by having you two spend time together having tea and meals. We also need a non-threatening, non-sexual or romantic way to meet your need for touch. So – sparring.”

“How ironic that fighting is the only non-threatening way for us to touch.” Byleth smirked. She didn’t exactly agree that sparring with Dimitri was a non-sexual activity, considering how attracted she was to his new physique, but she figured it would be better not to mention that. 

“I did carry you last week.” Dimitri pointed out. “That involved touching and was non-threatening as well.” He did not consider it non-sexual though as it had made him recall the night they had sex and he had carried her from the knight’s hall to her room. If she had not been so sick, he would have been unbelievably aroused by carrying her around her bedroom.

“Sparring and carrying aren’t the only ways to touch in a non-threatening manner, you know. And things don’t have to stay non-sexual and unromantic. In fact, it’s better if they don’t... eventually.” Manuela turned to Dimitri again. “But guidance on that is going to have to come from you, Your Highness. You have a lot of trauma in this area to heal from. You will need to show her when, where, and how you will allow physical contact.” Dimitri frowned, but nodded. 

Manuela turned to Byleth. “If you are comfortable, I think it might be helpful to allow him to initiate contact with you first. And just know that if you try to reciprocate and he turns away, it isn’t anything you have done and try not to take it personally.” Byleth frowned. “I know that is easier said than done. Just remember that you being understanding will help him heal.”

“I know. And I do want to help him heal.” Byleth sighed as her eyes teared up. “It would just be a lot easier if I knew exactly what I was helping him heal from...but I understand that he needs to work through stuff before telling me.” She shrugged and put her hands on her stomach as her tears began to fall. “It’s just that...not knowing means I keep trying to guess what happened and my mind goes to the worst-case scenarios...and I just really hope I’m wrong because I hate the thought of something so terrible happening to you. But…I do understand that you need time, Dimitri. I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

“Thank you.” Dimitri felt himself start to cry as well. “I apologize for making you wait. I wish I could just tell you, but it is just extremely hard for me to talk about it.” He looked at Manuela. “Could you tell her?”

Manuela shook her head. “I’m afraid not. In fact, I don’t think I should be present when you tell her. It is a conversation that needs to be had just between the two of you.” He sighed and Manuela stood and gave them each a handkerchief. “Compose yourselves, and then we will try to end the session in a happier place.”

Once they both calmed down, Manuela flipped open her notebook again. “Here we go, I’m going to ask you a question and as fast as you can I want you each to give me five answers but don’t talk to me, talk to each other. One at a time, alternating responses with no repeated answers. Got it?” They nodded. “Your question, what were some of your favorite things about doing your homework last week? This can be things that happened or things that you talked about. Byleth, you start.”

“Cookies.” Byleth said, shrugging. 

“All the teacups you broke.” Dimitri followed.

“You brought me food when I was sick.”

“I liked listening as you babbled yourself to sleep.”

“You said you forgave me for the time I was gone.”

“You said you missed spending time with me.”

“You called me glutton for punishment.”

“You said you would never choose anyone else, even if you could.” He smiled.

“Your smile.” Byleth bit her bottom lip. Dimitri blushed.

“Your smile.” 

Byleth shook her head. “That’s cheating, she said no repeated answers.”

“It was different, technically. You were talking about my smile, I was talking about yours.” 

“I’ll allow it.” Manuela grinned at them both. “Before we finish up, I want to tell you that I’m enormously proud of you for the work you are doing. It will get harder, but don’t give up, because it is so worth it.”

“I won’t give up.” Byleth said, looking at Dimitri.

“Nor will I.”

***

**_Pegasus Moon - 19th_ **

Manuela had been right, things between them got harder. Then they got easier. Then they got hard again. In the past two weeks, Byleth and Dimitri had consumed gallons of tea together and broken a dozen teacups and even more training weapons between them. They’d had numerous meals together. Dimitri even joined her at the knitting circle once. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they argued before they could manage to de-escalate. Byleth cried more than she wanted to, but that was nothing new or noteworthy as she cried all the time now. Dimitri had also cried a few times and Byleth thought that was far more significant. 

They had made little progress on him opening up to her about what happened while she was gone, but after a difficult counseling session where they talked about their respective abandonment issues, he did tell her about how they had searched for her after she fell and how heartbroken he had been. He told her about her funeral service in Gaspard and how Felix never believed she was gone. Once he got to the part of the story where they left Gaspard and returned to Fhirdiad, he clammed up. Byleth didn’t press him to talk about it further. 

Despite all the sparring, they hadn’t touched very much either. She was trying to wait for him to initiate contact, like Manuela had told her to, but Dimitri’s weapon of choice kept him at a distance. Since Byleth wasn’t sparring as acrobatically as she used to, so she wasn’t touching him as much as she would if she were fighting in her normal style. Her belly wasn’t that big yet, but she figured she should not be rolling around on the ground or trying to tackle him. Still, she was tired of being so removed from him and waiting for him to initiate things. She figured she would give him an opportunity and see if she took it.

That afternoon, after the war meeting but before dinner, Byleth asked him if he wanted to spar with her. He agreed. When they reached the training grounds, he reached for a wooden lance and she put her land on it, not letting him take it. 

“I was thinking we could work on brawling.” Byleth said, raising an eyebrow at him. She took off her cloak.

“Brawling?” He shook his head. “I am not going to hit you.”

“Good. I won’t hit you either.” She walked out into the open and empty training arena and began to stretch her arms. “Just shadowboxing, maybe a little light grappling?”

He followed her, stood in front of her and crossed his arms. “Byleth…

She stepped up to him and lightly shoved his left shoulder with the palm of her hand before dropping into a fighting stance. “Dimitri…”

“Fine. Wait here.” He walked to the side of the arena and she watched as he removed his cloak, gauntlets, and armor. It took him a little while, but when he stood back in front of her, he was wearing only the black long sleeve doublet and pants he wore under his armor. Without the extra bulk of the cloak and armor, he looked smaller, more vulnerable. She smiled at him and dropped back into her fighting stance.

“Why are you smiling?” He asked, mirroring her stance. 

“Because you’re cute.” He shook his head and blushed. She threw a light but swift kick at his left knee and grinned when she made contact. “And I’m trying to distract you.”

“It is working.” He looked down at her and dropped out of his stance. “I have no idea how I am supposed to do this without hurting you.”

She shrugged and put her hands on her hips. “I know. Maybe I don’t want to fight. Maybe I’m just looking for an excuse to touch you.”

He regarded her as she stood there, and he realized he could feel the heat of when she shoved his shoulder and when her leg made contact with his knee. He wanted her to touch him again. “I have an idea.” He held up his hands. “Go ahead and throw a few punches. Do not hold back.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to break your hands.” She chuckled and jabbed with her right hand into his left. She clearly had not put a lot of strength behind the punch, but she seemed pleasantly surprised when his hand did not move in the slightest. She punched with her left into his right with a little more force and he still did not move. “Ok, Your Highness, you just remember you told me not to hold back.”

“Bring it on, Your Grace.” Dimitri grinned at her. He was amazed as he watched her fight. He could not believe this crazy woman was the mother of his children. She had thrown a few more punches when on her next jab he closed his left hand over her right fist. She threw her left and he caught it just as easily in his right. She looked up at him, breathing heavily from the workout. He was breathing just as hard and his heart was racing in his chest. He looked at their hands and loosened his hold enough to allow her to intertwine her fingers with his. They stood in silence holding hands. It had been so long since he had held her hand. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles and felt most of his blood rush to his face. The rest of it rushed below his belt. He cleared his throat. “Perhaps we should switch to weapons?”

She nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

He did not trust himself to have what he wanted. Not yet. Still, he shook his head. “It is not what I want.”

“Dimitri...I want to give you a hug; would that be ok?”

He wanted to say no. He wanted to tell her she should not want to touch him. He also really wanted her to hug him, so he nodded. She stepped up to him and dropped his hands. She leaned her head into the middle of his chest and snaked her arms loosely around his waist. He marveled at how short she was. The hug only lasted a few seconds before she pulled away, but he felt lighter than he had in years.

“I think I’m done sparring for today. Do you want to have dinner with me?”

“Of course.” 

She walked over to the side of the arena and put on her cloak as he started to put his armor back on. She watched for a while then stepped up to him and started to help. 

“This thing is complicated.” Byleth shook her head. “I don’t understand how you guys can wear these things.”

“It is not so bad if you are used to it.” He huffed out a short laugh. “I can get in and out of it fairly quickly when I need to.”

“Good to know.” She grinned. “Hey, listen. Tomorrow is Felix’s birthday, and I was thinking of getting a small group together for dinner in the village tomorrow night to celebrate. Do you think you might want to come?”

“Do you think Felix would want me there?”

“Not that he would admit.” She reached out and traced the blue star on his armor with her index finger. “But I think he would. I would...I do want you there.”

“Then I will be there.”

As they walked to the dining hall, he swore she walked closer to him than she usually did. His hand brushed against hers until he finally made himself reach out and hold it.

 _“It was one hug and an invitation to dinner.”_ Glenn scoffed. _“Just because she’s holding your hand, it doesn’t mean she loves you; don’t get so excited about it.”_ But Dimitri was excited. He realized that like all those years ago in the academy, his ghosts tended to leave him alone in her presence. He also noticed that, out of all his ghosts, he was finding it easiest to ignore Glenn and his rumblings about Byleth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year to those who have already rung it in! To those, like me, who still have a few hours of 2020 to go - hang in there!
> 
> My New Year's Resolution as far as this fic goes is to work through my writer's block instead of watching Netflix and to try to motivate myself intrinsically instead of depending on comments to motivate me. Although if you want to leave them, you know I love getting them! Seriously, I love getting comments.
> 
> Coming up: Felix's birthday party and we prepare to head to Ailell.


	28. In and Out of Rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth throws Felix a birthday party where Manuela passes of a connection exercise off as a party game. Decisions are made at and after a war meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! It feels like it has been so long since the last update, and that's because it has. Sorry about that. Enjoy this one!

Byleth had promised Felix that his birthday dinner would not be a big deal. He told her repeatedly that he didn’t want a bunch of people there. The entire thing had gotten out of control very quickly and Byleth was incapable of finding a way to reel it back in. He would not be happy with what awaited him inside. She was pacing nervously outside the restaurant when Felix and Bernadetta walked up.

“Hi Bernie. Happy birthday, Felix!” 

“You already said that to me today.” Felix reminded her.

“I’m saying it again.” She peeked through the window of the restaurant and looked at the multiple tables that were filled by friends, soldiers, and allies. “Listen, don’t be mad at me, but there’s more people waiting for us in there than I originally intended. A lot more. It somehow went from being a small dinner to a huge party.”

“What the hell, Eisner? I thought I asked you to keep it small.”

“Sorry, it just...escalated. Evidently, people like you and want to celebrate the fact that you were born.” Byleth shrugged. “At first, it was just going to be you two, Leonie, Raph, Ingrid, Sylvain, Dimitri and me…”

“The boar is here?” 

“Yes, Dimitri is here. You can blame yourself for that; you're the one that got us into therapy and that’s the only reason we are getting along now.”

“If helping you led to this crazy party, consider me filled with regret.”

Bernadetta nudged him with her elbow. “Oh! Be nice, Felix!” 

Felix rolled his eyes. “Alright, so us, you and the boar, Leonie and Raph, Sylvain and Ingrid. How did that become a giant party?”

“Well, I did plan on it being just the eight of us, but then I decided to invite all the original Blue lions, so that added Ashe, Annette, and Mercedes. Ashe and Annette mentioned something at knitting circle, and Ignatz and Shamir wanted to join us, which meant we also got Marianne and Catherine. Catherine invited Alois…and Alois invited some of the other knights, who invited Manuela, who invited Seteth and Flayn. Then Flayn invited Cyril.”

Felix crossed his arms. “Is that all?”

“No...” She paused and watched him grimace. “I had to ask Lysithea for help with the non-sweet cake recipe you like, so I invited her. She invited Lin. You know that wherever Lin goes, Caspar goes, and Caspar invited Hilda. Hilda said something at the war meeting and Ferdinand asked if he could come since you two are war meeting buddies, and I said yes. Ferdinand invited Dorothea and Petra.”

“So... basically everybody? Everybody is here.”

“Not everyone. Hanneman was elbow deep in research and said to give you his regrets and tell you happy birthday. And Gilbert said he didn’t want to leave the monastery alone while everyone was “out gallivanting” so he stayed behind, but I think he just didn’t want to come because he hates you.”

“The feeling is mutual. I guess if he isn’t here, the rest can’t be that bad.” He looked at the restaurant door and sighed. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

They walked in and everyone yelled out happy birthday to Felix, who at least had the good graces to half grin and wave at everyone in response. 

Byleth sat at a table with Bernie, Felix, Sylvain, Ingrid, and Dimitri. It felt almost normal for Dimitri to be there at her side. He even joined the conversation a few times, egged on by Sylvain mostly. They ate delicious food while the band played and Byleth swore that Felix looked like he was enjoying himself more often than not, like when Bernie dragged him out to dance after the cake cutting. Ingrid looked annoyed when Sylvain pulled her away from her cake to go dance, but she smiled up at him on the dancefloor and Byleth grinned at them, as well as the others dancing. Judging by the wild dance moves she spotted, they were all spurred on by the drinks that had been flowing freely all evening. 

Dimitri and Byleth were left alone at their table since everyone else was dancing. Byleth was drinking steamed milk with chocolate and she said it was so good she almost did not miss ale. Dimitri had ordered a hot chocolate as well so she would not feel as if she were not the only one not drinking. She had expressed her surprise that he was not drinking with everyone else and looked even more shocked when he told her he rarely did. His crest made it so he did not feel the effects of alcohol like everyone else. Since he could neither feel it nor taste it, he indulged only when he had to for reasons of social obligation.

He shrugged it off after mentioning it, but it was a reminder to him of one more thing, of what seemed like a hundred things, that made him feel like he was set apart from everyone else. One more thing he had to deal with that meant he could not connect with others in a particular way. Another reason for him to distance himself when distance was already a consequence of the station he was born into. In rooms full of people, Dimitri had almost always felt lonely. When Byleth was outside waiting for Felix to arrive, he had felt uncomfortable sitting in the restaurant full of people. Even sharing a table with just Sylvain and Ingrid, the surrounding tables full of loud conversations made him want to sink into the floor, blend into the walls, or escape altogether. 

Once Byleth was sitting with him, he was in a far better mood, although he still had to drown out the surrounding crowd. Their jumbled voices reminded him a little too much of his ghosts when they all talked to him at once. But Byleth had the ability to quiet his ghosts. With her beside him, the noise of the crowd fell away and he felt like he could breathe. She sat close to him, but they were not quite touching. He wanted so badly to put his arm around her and pull her closer, but refrained. He watched her as she speared a piece of cake with her fork; she held it up to him.

“Do you want a bite of the cake? You didn't get a piece for yourself.” She was eating the sweet frosted cake, not the one Felix liked. Leave it to Byleth to ensure they had both types of cake for the party. 

He shook his head. “Thank you, but...sweets are a bit wasted on me, just like alcohol. Although, I am flattered you offered me a piece of yours.”

“Flattered? Why?”

“Felix and Leonie once told me that you do not like to share your food with other people.”

“They're right, I don’t.” She continued to hold the fork out to him.

“Yet you are offering me a bite of your cake. And you have shared food with me before, at this very restaurant, years ago.”

She shrugged. “I guess I don’t mind sharing with you because I don’t consider you to be ‘other people’. You’re just...Dimitri.”

“I am not sure how to take that.” He said he did not, yet his body stirred as it had when she hugged him the day before. As much as being set apart from the crowd usually made him feel like an outcast, being set apart in her eyes made him feel special.

“It’s a compliment, trust me.” She ate the bite of cake that she had offered him and moaned. “This is so good.” She quickly picked up another piece and held it out to him. “I know you can’t taste it, but the texture is amazing; it just melts in your mouth. Here, eat it.” 

She was insistent and he found it adorable. He leaned forward and allowed her to feed him the cake, even though it was more than a little embarrassing. It tasted the same as everything else he ate - like nothing, but she was right about the texture. He nodded at her. “That is a good texture.” 

She grinned at him. “Unfortunately, that’s all you get unless you get your own piece. After all, I do have to share the rest with these two.” She pointed at her stomach with the fork. An image came to him unbidden, of Byleth sitting at the table of the great hall in Blaiddyd Castle, holding out food to one of two blonde haired, blue-eyed infants sitting with her, just as she had held the cake out to him. His father yelled in his head, telling him that he was not meant for such things. His duty was to kill the emperor and end the war. He knew his father was right. He would die trying whether he failed or succeeded. If he were honest with himself, he knew that the future he imagined was one he would not live to see. His heart seized. How could he want something so much while at the same time run toward a future that would not allow him to have it. He watched the revelers on the dance floor and knew his decision to invade the empire was dooming most of them as well. 

Byleth noticed that Dimitri had gotten a bit sullen and even more quiet. She wondered what he was thinking, but knew better than to ask. Instead, she just sat beside him and gently laid her hand on his. He only flinched slightly, but she attributed that to the fact that she was sitting on his right and he probably didn’t see her move, since he quickly recovered and intertwined their fingers. The party started to die down and Byleth noticed some people were getting ready to leave. Seteth, Flayn and Cyril were the first to leave, with Seteth coming over to tell Byleth not to stay out too late because she and the babies needed their rest. They were followed out by Alois and most of the knights. Ignatz accompanied Mercedes and Marianne back to the monastery not long after. Soon, only a few people were left listening to the music. They had pushed tables together so they were all sitting in one large group. Almost everyone other than Byleth and Dimitri was tipsy or worse. Manuela, in particular, was looking rosy-cheeked and off balance as she stood at the bar ordering another glass of wine. Byleth released Dimitri’s hand long enough to bring Manuela over to their table and ordered her some coffee instead. She handed Manuela the coffee cup and then slipped her hand right back into Dimitri’s and squeezed it as she sat down. 

Manuela noticed and smiled at them. “I’m very happy for the two of you, and not the least bit jealous, I swear.” Manuela looked from their joined hands to the people surrounding her and gestured at them all. “Still, me and a bunch of couples. It’s times like these I really wish I weren’t single.”

“We aren’t a couple!” Shamir said as she shoved Catherine off her shoulder. 

“Hey! I was comfortable there!” Catherine laughed.

“You aren’t?” Leonie asked from where she was sitting on Raphael’s lap.

“No! Why does everyone always think that?” Shamir asked.

“Maybe they just see what you refuse to.” Lysithea said, picking at what remained of the cake. 

“Maybe that’s the pot calling the kettle black.” Hilda laughed looking over at Linhardt, who was slumped over on the table next to Caspar, fast asleep. 

“Nobody asked you, Goneril!” Lysithea yelled and threw a balled up napkin at Hilda.

“I’m telling you anyway!” Hilda yelled and threw it back. Both girls started giggling. 

“Hilda’s right. You two are crazy about each other and everyone knows that. You’re only not together because you’re stubborn.” Manuela pouted. “Or maybe one of you just refuses to admit how you feel because you think it will never work just because it can’t work long term, but love doesn’t have to be eternal to be meaningful.” Lysithea rolled her eyes. 

“I am not coupled either, Manuela. It does make for feeling lonely.” Petra leaned her chin on her hand. 

“But Pet, you have a fiancé; he just lives in another country.” Dorothea patted Petra’s head. Petra hummed in response but did not seem appeased. 

“We are to marry someday, but now the distance is long and I have not seen him in many moons. I wonder if he is forgetting me. It is winter, what if he is being with others to stay warm? What if he has made for himself a harem of concubines?” 

“Nobody could ever forget you, Petra!” Ferdinand said with a smile. “Rest assured that no true noble would break an engagement by forming a harem, and your fiancé is no mere noble; Dorothea tells me he is a prince!”

Petra nodded. “He is a prince. I am supposing you are right; I should not be worrying. Although it is hard to be missing him all of the time.”

“Oh but just think...” Annette broke in. “Being apart now only means your reunion will be that much sweeter!”

“This is boring.” Felix grumbled. “If we’re just going to sit around talking about relationships and shit, I’m leaving.”

“Fe, don’t be such a party pooper.” Sylvain said. “We could play a game or something. Truth or dare?”

“No.’ Dimitri said. 

“No way!” Felix yelled at the same time.

“Why is that a bad idea?” Byleth asked, looking between the two of them.

Ingrid chuckled. “Because whenever we played at the academy those two never wanted to answer questions and Sylvain always dared them to get naked. Get naked and jump in the fishing pond. Get naked and run through the courtyard...”

“Well then I vote for truth or dare...” Bernadetta said, slightly slurring and looking up at Felix with a blush on her cheeks.

“Bernie! I’m shocked to hear you say something like that!” Caspar roared with a laugh. “You used to be so shy. I guess Felix _is_ rubbing off on you!”

“Yeah he is!” Sylvain laughed and held up his hand for a high five from Dimitri. Dimitri crossed his arms and shook his head. “Come on man, don’t leave me hanging...Ashe, up high!” Sylvain leaned across the table and held his hand up to Ashe.

Ashe blinked at Sylvain’s hand and then carefully reached up and shook it. 

Manuela stood up and clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. She was a bit wobbly on her feet, but still easily commanded the spotlight in any room like she was up on a stage. She pointed dramatically at everyone surrounding her. “I have an idea for a game we can play that will reveal the _truth_ to any couple who plays, but only if you _dare_ to try…”

“Ooh, that sounds intriguing.” Hilda cooed at her. 

“I call bullshit.” Felix hiccoughed. “You’re just going to make us stare at each other, I’ve heard of your tricks from Byleth!” 

Manuela walked over and patted Felix on the head. “No, no Felix. No staring. You can even close your eyes if you want. Everyone couple up and sit in a chair across from your partner!”

“I am not having anyone for a partner.” Petra pouted as everyone else came together. 

“You can partner with me Petra, Lin is asleep.” Lysithea said, waving Petra over to where she was sitting. “Not that Lin and I are a couple, because we’re not.”

“Sure, Lysithea.” Leonie rolled her eyes at her. 

“Good, now sit on the edges of your chairs, facing each other…” Manuela walked up behind Ferdinand and pushed him forward toward Dorothea. “Then lean forward until your foreheads are touching. Just your heads!”

There was a large amount of laughing as they did what she said. Manuela walked amongst the group egging on those like Felix who weren’t participating and pulling apart couples like Sylvain and Ingrid who took the opportunity to kiss. Byleth looked at Dimitri and took a deep breath. He stared at her. 

She shrugged and leaned forward. “She’s just going to make us do it in counseling if we don’t do it now.”

Dimitri sighed. “Fair point.” He leaned forward in his chair and gently touched his head to Byleth’s. She could understand how Sylvain and Ingrid ended up kissing. Her face was so close to Dimitri’s that the temptation was almost unbearable. She saw him lick his lips and wondered if he was thinking the same thing. 

“Now…” Manuela took a sip of her coffee. “What you want to do is take seven breaths together. But you have to sync up. It will probably take a couple of breaths before you get into a rhythm, but once you do...count seven breaths. The couple that finishes first, is the most connected and on the same page. Any guesses on who may win?”

“We can win this!” Caspar said. “Let’s go Hilda!” 

She kissed him and nodded. “We totally can!”

“No way.” Felix grumbled. “You two have only been together for about a week. My money is on Ashe and Annette. They’re practically the same person.”

“Aww, thanks Felix.” Annette giggled and looked at Ashe. “I think we can win it.” Ashe agreed.

“I believe in you guys, but I think it will be Leonie and Raphael.” Byleth said. “They’re married. And of all the couples here they’ve been together the longest.”

“That isn’t true, By.” Leonie said. “Technically you and His Highness got together before me and Raph. I vote for you guys.”

Dimitri frowned at Byleth. “You are not betting on us?” 

“You are?” She whispered back. 

“I suppose not.” He cleared his throat and frowned in thought. “Sylvain and Ingrid have known each other the longest. Maybe them.”

Lysithea was staring at Petra with so much determination she was almost cross-eyed. “This has nothing to do with how long people have known each other. It is about connection and communication. I think Petra and I can take it!”

“Knowing Lysithea, I’m sure she can do anything she puts her mind to. I think Lysithea and Petra will win it.” Raphael said.

“I will do my best!” Petra said. “But I think Felix and Bernie will win. They are both very fast and so will breathe faster than everyone else.”

“I’m going for Catherine and Shamir.” Sylvain said. “Have you seen them on the field together? They are always on the same page.” Ingrid agreed and so did both Shamir and Catherine. 

“If all bets are in, let’s get started. Heads together...Oh, and no talking. Sylvain and Ingrid, no kissing! Ready, set...breathe!” Manuela said. 

Byleth held her breath to try to get a sense for Dimitri’s breathing pattern. Just when she thought he was doing the same thing he inhaled. She took a breath and tried to end it when he ended his, but she could not match him. He breathed far too slow for her. 

Sothis giggled in her head. “ _You two are way off.”_

“Breathe faster, Dimitri.” She whispered. She felt his nod against her head and was about to hold her breath to listen again when her thoughts were interrupted. 

“Done! Seven breaths!” Raphael stood up and picked Leonie up and kissed her. 

“Looks like the win goes to the old marrieds after all. Good guess, Byleth.” Manuela said. “The rest of you keep going.”

“How will you even know if we aren’t cheating. I could just say we did it and you would never know.” Felix grumbled. 

“Less talking, more breathing, Felix.” Manuela answered. “The point is not really winning. It’s the challenge of seeing if you can do it.”

“I don’t like this game.” Felix shook his head at Manuela and frowned. “Bernie…” He turned back to her. “I don’t like this game.” 

She cupped his face and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “It’s your birthday, we don’t have to play if you don’t want to.” He grinned and leaned on her shoulder instead.

“We did it!” Both Annette and Ashe said at the same time.

“We’re awesome!” Annette said. 

“We really are!” Ashe replied, pulling her into a hug. 

Felix cheered. “I was almost right!”

“Aw, man!” Caspar sat back in his chair. 

“Felix! We were almost done and you cheering made me gasp and got us all messed up.” Hilda groaned. Felix only yawned in response.

“That’s ok, just start again.” Manuela said.

To everyone except Raphael’s surprise, Petra and Lysithea were the next to finish, followed shortly after by Hilda and Caspar. Byleth and Dimitri had still to get past two synchronous breaths before they fell out of rhythm each time. She giggled. “This is impossible. We just breathe too differently.”

“I am inclined to agree with you.” He whispered back. She could feel his breath on her face. It smelled like hot chocolate and cake and every time she caught a whiff of it, she got distracted wondering if that’s what it would taste like. Then she had to remind herself not to kiss him and fell out of sync. Sylvain and Ingrid on the other hand, did not stop themselves and were kissing again. Dimitri sighed. “We are almost in last place.” He was right. Only Shamir and Catherine and Ferdinand and Dorothea remained with them. 

“Come on Catherine! Control your breathing.” Shamir groaned. 

“Me? You’re the one breathing all weird.” Catherine said.

“Oh! That’s because she doesn’t breathe in, out, in, out.” Raphael jumped in. “She taught me years ago. She breathes in, out, and then out again before breathing back in.”

“Hey, you remembered!” Shamir laughed.

“In, out, then out again.” Petra tapped Catherine on the shoulder. “Can I be trying with Shamir? I think I know how to breathe in that pattern. I have done it before. It helps you to stay still and quiet while hunting prey.”

“Exactly!” Shamir shouted. Catherine vacated the chair and they all watched as Shamir and Petra touched heads and breathed together until they finished the challenge. 

“Well, I’ll be damned, you did it.” Catherine slapped Petra on the back.

“Petra, come try with me! Ferdie and I just can’t do it.” Dorothea waved her over to their end of the table and Petra bounded over.

Byleth motioned for Dimitri to come closer again. “Let’s try one more time.”

He nodded. They were on their third breath together when Dorothea whooped loudly. 

“Now, I understand! Thanks, Petra.”

“I think I am the champion of this game.” 

“I think you are.” Manuela chuckled, hugging Petra. “You are highly adaptable and able to connect with others easily. Exceptionally good qualities to have.” 

Dorothea sat back in front of Ferdinand and explained that the breathing together was as if they were singing a song together, breathing in the same places, only without the singing and that it was just a matter of timing. Soon enough they finished the challenge as well. 

“We lost.” Dimitri shrugged, but Byleth noticed he looked rather amused.

Byleth shrugged back. “No wonder, neither of us is musically inclined.”

“It’s alright. I’ll just have you try on Sunday.” Manuela draped herself around Byleth’s shoulders. “Maybe it’s the pressure of being around everyone. You might do better with less of an audience.” 

“Speaking of audiences…” Dorothea said. “We are the only ones left in this one. I think it may be time we head out and let these nice people close up.”

They all walked back to the monastery in a large rowdy group. Byleth and Dimitri were walking behind everyone to make sure they didn’t leave anyone behind after they realized that Felix had fallen behind at one point. They found him sitting in the middle of the street in front of the restaurant. Sylvain had picked him up and slung him over his shoulder in a perfect mirror or Linhardt on Caspar’s shoulder as they walked back to the monastery. 

Sylvain laughed as he walked backwards and looked back at Byleth and Dimitri. “Look at you two, hanging at the rear of the group and making sure everyone else makes it; being responsible. You might as well be parents already.”

Felix banged on Sylvain’s back. “Turn around so I can talk to Byleth!” Sylvain did as he was asked, and Felix smirked at Byleth. It was clear that he’d had way too much to drink. “Thanks for throwing me a great party, mom. I had a good time.”

Byleth laughed. “Any time, Fe.” She thought about her life as she watched everyone walk and she was filled with warmth, even though the night was chilly. She watched Sylvain and Caspar carrying their best friends, while the rest of the group talked and laughed together, and she realized that nights like this one were what she was fighting for in this crazy war. While others were fighting for their countries, or because of a sense of duty, or even for revenge, Byleth was fighting to have more nights like this. She wanted nothing more than a future where the people she was surrounded by could get together in a time of peace. She wanted for them to be an honorary extended family to her children. She wondered if that was a foolish dream in the midst of a war where she knew she could lose any of them at any time.

_“I know that I can’t make this dream happen for you, or even assist you with my power to turn back time to keep everyone safe anymore, but I do not think it is foolish of you to believe that this future you dream of will come to pass. You trained them well, you lead them well, and you will watch over them, as you always have. This is how I know already that you will be a great mother, my friend.”_

Byleth grinned. Sothis’ voice was another comfort that she was happy to have again, even if she did not hear from her as often as she used to. When Sothis had first awoken all those years ago, Byleth could not go even an hour without hearing Sothis’ voice on most days. Now, she only heard from her friend a few times a day. When she’d asked Sothis why she was away for such long periods now, she said it was because she was “busy with the little ones”. Still, it was nice to have her back at all. 

Byleth felt more hopeful than she had felt in a long time. She reached out for and found Dimitri’s hand and held it for the rest of the way to the monastery. Maybe they couldn’t breathe together, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t starting to find their way back to being on the same page. 

***

**25th of the Pegasus Moon**

It was the last war meeting before they were to set off for Ailell the next morning to meet Lord Rodrigue for the soldier exchange. The small group making the trip were going to travel on horseback along the mountain range through Charon. Lord Charon had managed to stay out of much of the fighting by swearing fealty to the Dukedom while secretly remaining loyal to the Kingdom and the royal family. Upon hearing that Dimitri was alive, he was fully invested in wanting to displace Cornelia and the Dukedom so Dimitri could retake his throne. While Catherine had not taken her place as part of House Charon again, Catherine and her father were at least on friendly terms, so he would ensure that their party got through safely and shelter them for the first night of their two-night march, as well as on the return trip. 

From Charon, they would cross into Galatea where they would spend the night with Ingrid’s family before heading to Ailell on foot to meet Rodrigue and his soldiers. As far as long trips went, it was going to be an easier one since they had places to stay along the way and no need to lug along heavy camping equipment. Byleth was excited to get out and get a change of scenery, but first she had to get through this meeting. 

“Any new business?” She asked.

Seteth stood up. “New business is rather the same as our old business. Tomorrow you will leave to meet our reinforcements and we still have no idea what to do once you and they return. Should we dispatch our troops to the Kingdom capital or the Imperial capital?” He asked, looking to Byleth.

Unfortunately, Byleth was still of two minds on the subject and did not have an answer. She looked around the table. "I know we have gone through this a dozen times, but we always end up in shouting matches. We need to talk through the pros and cons of each option so we can figure out which is the correct one." 

“It’s true. We remain divided on our next course of action.” Seteth nodded as he sat down. “I anticipate a second and third wave of attack on the monastery. That the empire has not sent further forces to try to flush us out of here is surprising, if not suspicious. They may be planning something on a larger scale. With our current forces, we would have our hands full just defending our current position against another attack.”

“It is a good thing Lord Rodrigue has offered to send backup then.” Hilda said. 

“A very good thing.” Alois said. “We have not been able to push forward in any direction. In a manner of speaking, we have been stuck. We need to carefully discuss where we should move next once the reinforcements make movement possible." 

“What else is there to discuss?" Dimitri argued. "We spend too much time talking and not enough time taking action. I am tired of waiting around. We will take the Imperial capital. There, I will kill her, and we end the war. Nothing could be more to the point.” 

“I hate to agree with you, boar, but I hope that once my old man delivers his soldiers to us, then our war against the Empire can finally begin in earnest. This inaction is maddening.” He crossed his arms and looked down at the map on the table. “Where I disagree with you is, I still think we should try to take Fhirdiad back before trying to push further into Adrestia. Taking back the kingdom would get us a lot more reinforcements, which we will need if we hope to make any sort of significant progress toward Enbarr.” He looked at Dimitri. “Besides, we can’t forget our people in Faerghus need our help right now too. We can’t just defeat the empire and ignore the damage they have done.”

“We must head to Enbarr first!” Dimirti growled, banging his fist on the table. “Where we find Edelgard we find the end of the war. What better to help the people in the other territories than to remove the threat against them?” 

“Just give it up already. You talk a good game, but we all know you only want to go to Enbarr to get your revenge.” Felix glared at Dimitri. “Wasting time thinking about stuff like that will only dull your blade. Revenge is not the only important thing here.” 

Hilda raised her hand. They looked at her. “The thing is, even though his reasons may not be the greatest, His Highness is right. Defeating Edelgard would put an end to the war. That would benefit the Kingdom and the Alliance more than a protracted, drawn out war that puts everyone in harm’s way. We need to end this thing as soon as possible.”

Felix sighed. “My father has been in harm's way for five years now. He has suffered multiple invasions by the Dukedom. It would be a shame to waste the soldiers he sends to help us by running headfirst into an invasion into the Empire. We know we can’t hope to sustain that even with a boost to our numbers.” Felix shook his head. “Emotions and reasons aside. Invading Adrestia isn’t the logical move here.”

Dimitri scoffed. “Logic? You want to discuss logic?” He stood up and bent to point out their location on the map and trace the path they would have to take through Faerghus. “The march to Fhirdiad would be long and through territory fully engulfed by enemy forces. If we managed to reach it, Fhirdiad is buried in snow at this time of year, which is not kind to an invading army, especially when more than half of the forces have never experienced such weather.” He stood and walked to the other side of the table squeezing between Gilbert and Alois to point to the other side of the map. He picked up a pointer and moved it along the map. “On the other hand, from here we are well positioned to take the Great Bridge of Myrddin after a much faster and more pleasant journey at this time of year. With the bridge secured, we would have a clear path through most of the empire.”

Gilbert nodded. “I agree with you, Your Highness. Although there are many in Fhirdiad who never believed in that farce of an execution and remained loyal to you, and even though the rumors of your return are already stoking the fires of the resistance in Fraldarius and Gautier, I agree that the path toward Enbarr would be an easier one, at least until late spring at the earliest. That is too long to sit and take no action when the Empire could send more troops our way at any time. We should make taking Myrddin the next goal, even if it is just to stop Imperial troops from crossing the bridge and coming to us.”

“Since Bernadetta, Caspar and Ferdinand are on our side, once we have control of the bridge, we should be able to march unimpeded through Varley, Aegir and Bergliez, and take Fort Merceus.” Dimitri said. “Once Merceus is ours it will be easy to get to Enbarr, kill Edelgard, and end the war - all before the snow even melts in Fhirdiad.

“The snow only melts in Fhirdiad two months out of the year.” Felix scoffed. “But I will admit that I’m impressed you’ve put this much thought into this plan of yours. I thought you were just blindly rushing toward Enbarr.”

“I agree that you have put a lot of thought into it, Your Highness.” Ferdinand said, also standing up and walking to stand next to Dimitri. He held out his hand and gestured toward the pointer. “May I?” Dimitri narrowed his eyes at Ferdinand, but nodded, handed him the pointer, and took his seat again. Ferdinand stood between Alois and Gilbert where Dimitri had stood moments before. He began to move the pieces representing their troops and the Fraldarius reinforcements to Garreg Mach on the map. 

“While I commend you for the thought you have put into your plan, it pains me to tell you that it will not work, Your Highness.” Ferdinand pointed at the Great Bridge on the map and moved all the pieces there. “Let us assume we can take the bridge, which is not a given at this point, but let us assume we take it.”

“Rest in peace to Lorenz if we do.” Hilda said, putting her chin in her hand. 

“Unfortunately, yes. Right now, the Gloucester soldiers are holding the bridge for the empire and Lorenz is the commanding officer there. Still, I agree we need to take it both to protect ourselves from further invasion and for when we move toward Enbarr, but I do not agree that the journey to Enbarr would be easier than the one to Fhirdiad.” Ferdinand moved the pieces into Varley on the map and then moved two back to the bridge. “After crossing the bridge, we would have to leave troops there to hold it while we moved on into Varley. Even though Bernadetta is on our side, her father is under house arrest, and there are bound to be Imperial troops in the area.”

“So, we fight them!” Alois said. “How many troops can they possibly have making sure one bureaucrat stays in his house?”

“More than you think.” Felix grumbled. 

“But not an unbeatable amount.” Ferdinand said. “So, let us say we get through Varley, we’d have to leave more soldiers there as well, both to protect the place from more soldiers returning and to make sure Lord Varley doesn’t turn traitor and let the Emperor know we are coming.” 

“Which is something he would totally do if he thought it would help his situation. He’s a complete jackass.” Felix frowned and looked at Gilbert. “He’s worse than you.”

“Perhaps, you just cannot get along with the fathers of the women you get involved with.” Gilbert scowled at Felix. “Or anyone for that matter.”

“Or maybe I fall for women with shitty fathers.” Felix shot back. 

“We are getting off topic.” Ferdinand said, trying to suppress a smile. “His opinion of you notwithstanding, Sir Gilbert, Felix has the measure of Lord Varley right. He would not hesitate to make a move against us, so we would need to leave troops there to guard him and Varley manor.” He moved another two pieces to Varley Manor on the map. ‘After that we’d move into Aegir.” He pushed the remaining pieces further on the map. 

“I’m beginning to see where you are going with this.” Seteth grumbled, his fist on his chin. 

Ferdinand nodded. “My father is also imprisoned, but not at home. He is in Enbarr. My territory is being held by Lord Arundel and the mysterious soldiers that Edelgard has been working with. We do not know where they are from, but we do know they have been making Aegir their base during the war. If we manage to defeat them…”

“We will have to leave more troops behind to hold Aegir.” Byleth said. Dimitri crossed his arms. 

“We will.” Ferdinand left two more pieces in his home territory and moved the now small amount to Fort Merceus. "That takes us to Fort Merceus, which is the capital city of Bergliez. Having Caspar on our side will not help us here at all. He abandoned his family years ago, and I need not remind you that we just killed General Randolph Bergliez a few weeks ago. We are likely to face a great deal of resistance just getting there.” He moved a piece completely off the map. “Merceus is impregnable. There is no way we could take it without sustaining heavy losses.” He moved another piece off the map, leaving only one piece left. “We would have to conquer it and hold it. That does not leave anyone to push further into Enbarr and face Edelgard. We need more reinforcements than just the ones we are picking up in Ailell if we want to make this work.”

“What if we were to get more reinforcements from the Alliance?” Byleth looked to Hilda.

“Well, if we either defeat or get Lorenz on board with us, it would make it easier. They could help us with holding the bridge and moving into Varley at least. That would free some people up for the rest of the fighting.” Hilda sighed. “I’ll write a letter to Claude and see if he’s had any luck getting through to Lorenz.”

“Lorenz will do what his dad wants him to do.” Felix grumbled. “And right now, Lord Gloucester is in the Emperor’s pocket. Claude said she promised him control over Alliance territory if she wins the war.”

“It almost seems as if we have no choice but to take back the kingdom first. We need more people.” Seteth said.

Dimitri shook his head. “All we need is one person to be able to move past Fort Merceus. Me. It will be harder for them to track me if I am alone. I can sneak in there and take her out. I move that we direct our attention to the Imperial capital.”

Gilbert sighed. “I second.”

“Stop enabling him! You can’t beat her and all her forces in Enbarr alone, boar.” Felix threw his hands up. “I move that we direct our forces to taking back the kingdom capital.”

“I second.” Ferdinand said, pointing at the map.

“Should we even bother taking a vote on this right now?” Byleth asked. She looked between Dimitri and Felix and both looked more determined than she had seen them in a while. No matter which way the vote went, it would be a long trip to Ailell. She sighed. “Ok...show of hands, who thinks we should direct our forces to taking Enbarr?” Dimitri, Gilbert, and Hilda raised their hands. “And who thinks we should direct our forces to taking Fhirdiad?” Felix, Ferdinand, Alois, and Seteth raised their hands. 

“Seteth?” Dimitri looked at him, his eye wide. “Is finding Rhea not your primary goal? You know she is likely to be in Enbarr. Why are you voting to go to Fhirdiad?”

“We do still need to look for Lady Rhea, so I agree that we should get to Enbarr as soon as it is possible. That being said, taking Enbarr with our current numbers, even with reinforcements, does not seem to be possible.” Dimitri glowered at Seteth. Seteth turned to Byleth. “Your Grace...you did not vote.” 

“I know.” Byleth said, looking at the map, looking at Felix, looking at Dimitri. He stood up and looked at her. 

“You were entrusted with leading the church, Byleth. One would think the logical step for your cause is for us to march to Enbarr. If Lady Rhea is being held prisoner in the Empire, we don’t have time to waste taking back Fhirdiad. Can you deny it?” 

She looked back at Felix. 

“Come on, By. You’re a tactician. Look at the map! Look at our numbers! We can’t do it without taking back Fhirdiad and adding their numbers to ours.”

She didn’t know what to do. If she voted with Felix, it would be a majority vote. They would be tied to going to Fhirdiad first. It was the right move to make, but Dimitri would never forgive her, and they had just started making real progress. If she voted with Dimitri it would be a tie and they would have more time to discuss it and hear back from Claude. 

“I agree…” She spoke, her voice tight. Felix brightened and Dimitri scowled. “I agree with Dimitri. I vote that we see if Claude can help us with reinforcements and try to take Enbarr first.” 

“Bullshit.” Felix grumbled. “Maybe I need to bring my girlfriend in here to vote for my ideas too.”

“That isn’t why I voted the way I voted, Felix.” 

He shook his head. “Yeah…I don’t believe you.”

“Felix does have a point.” Seteth said. “Not about you voting to go to Enbarr because of your relationship with His Highness, but about the fact that we need to add another person to this council. Our votes end in ties far too often.”

“That’s a fine idea!” Alois said. “Any thoughts on who to add?”

“What about Petra?” Byleth suggested. “She is the princess of Brigid. I know as a vassal state their allegiance should be to Adrestia, but if they want their freedom and sovereignty again, we might be able to get them on our side as well.” 

“Petra would be a great addition!” Ferdinand beamed. “She’s brilliant.”

“Yeah, and she doesn’t have a boyfriend here who can make her sway her vote.” Felix said, looking at Byleth. “I move we invite Petra to join the war council.”

“Second.” Ferdinand said quicky. “All in favor?” Everyone raised their hands, and it was decided that Byleth would ask Petra for her thoughts on the matter during the trip to Ailell. They convened the meeting and Dimitri caught up to Byleth as she walked through the audience chamber to the staircase that led toward her room. 

“Wait, I need to ask you something.” She stopped and looked up at him. He looked uncomfortable. “Did you vote with me because of our...relationship, or do you agree with me about the strategy?”

She looked up at him. “Do you want me to tell you the truth, or avoid a fight?”

He furrowed his brow. “The truth, of course.”

“Felix was right. I didn’t vote to go to Enbarr because I think it’s the best strategy. I think it’s a bad idea, actually. We should take back Fhirdiad first.”

“Then why did you…”

Byleth shrugged. “I wanted to support you and... I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”

“I appreciate your support but...you cannot do that again.” He shook his head. “You cannot lie on my behalf or to spare my feelings. If we disagree about something, we need to work through it, not build on falsehoods.”

She nodded. “Fine. That means I’ll be changing my vote at the next meeting and you aren’t allowed to yell at me about it.”

“Not if I can convince you that my strategy is sound.” She raised an eyebrow at him, and he scratched the back of his head. “Gilbert would agree with anything I said, but Hilda voted for my strategy. If I have learned anything about her while sitting through these meetings, it is that she is a lot smarter than she wants people to believe she is. My idea cannot be all bad.”

“I give you permission to try to convince me, but not until we get back from Ailell. I’d rather have a pleasant trip with no arguments.” She started walking toward the stairs again. He followed.

“I will not try to convince you until we return; you have my word.” He smirked. “But if you think we are going to make it four days without arguing about something, you have not been paying attention.”

That got a real laugh out of her and he blushed. “Come with me to put my stuff down and we can have dinner.” He nodded and followed her up the stairs. They spent a pleasant evening together having dinner and tea. Byleth went to bed excited for the next day’s journey. If she was being honest with herself, she was looking forward to going to Ailell for more than just a change of scenery. She was hoping that Lord Rodrigue might be able to talk Dimitri into taking back his kingdom before heading to Enbarr. If Lord Rodrigue was anything like his son, he would be sure to see that taking back the kingdom was the right thing to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, did I have trouble with this chapter. I had some issues this week where the ghosts in my head were almost as loud as Dimitri's. My particular ghosts all sound like me and they were telling me that this story is no good and nobody wants to read it anymore, which made it really hard for me to sit down and write. I fought through it though, and I'm glad I did. 
> 
> Your comments keep me going! Seriously every time I get one, no matter how long it is, it gives me enough strength to fight my own crazy brain and keep writing. I love you guys!
> 
> Coming up next: Ailell is hot and our lovebirds are doing so well and making so much progress! It would be a shame if something messed that up...


	29. Too Hot to Listen to Bad Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth, Dimitri, and eight others head to Ailell to meet up with Lord Rodrigue for a soldier exchange. They all bond on the way there before things quickly fall apart as the temperature rises in Ailell. Gilbert has a good idea and a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update again! This time is was life that got in my way. Darn you work and sleep and random power outages!! I also had an issue because this chapter was SO FUN to write, which may be evident by the behemoth that it ended up being. Enjoy!

As their group of ten rode toward Charon, Byleth was struck by bittersweet memories of all the travelling she used to do with her father back in her mercenary days. She had travelled with her class a few times during her tenure as a professor, but for the majority of her life, travelling meant time with her dad. She remembered riding with him at her back until she insisted, she was big enough to ride a horse of her own, remembered thousands of rowdy nights around campfires as she watched her dad drink and laugh with the others in the company. She thought of how patient he was whenever he taught her a new skill with a sword, or all the times he tried and failed to turn her into a lancer. Byleth placed one of her hands on her stomach and tears began to form in the corners of her eyes at the reminder that he would not get to meet and teach his grandchildren. She felt grief come over her like she had not felt it since the weeks that followed his death. 

She knew, logically, that he had been gone for five years, but for her, it was less than six months. When he first died, she spent those two weeks locked inside her grief, but after that everything happened so quickly - her merging with Sothis, Edelgard being revealed as the Flame Emperor, getting ready for the invasion, that she didn’t have time to let her mind grieve, much less get used to him being gone before her fall. Since she had awoken, her days were, again, filled with so much that she scarcely had time to think. It was there, in the hours of mostly silent riding through the Faerghus countryside full of memories, that she finally felt Jeralt’s absence more than she ever had. She wondered if it would ever stop hurting this much when she thought of him. 

She looked at Dimitri, who was riding next to Gilbert at the front of the group. With the five years that had passed, it had now been almost a decade since the tragedy of Duscar took Dimitri’s father, and he did not seem to be grieving any less. If anything, his grief over his father seemed to be his main driving force in this war. 

“Eisner!” Felix called to her from where he was riding on her left side. She turned to look at him. “What’s up? You’re looking moody. Are you uncomfortable? Do we need to stop and take a break?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m not so pregnant that I can’t still ride a horse for a few hours.” 

He scowled at her. “Then what’s going on? Something’s wrong.”

“If you must know, I’m thinking about my dad.”

“Oh.” He blinked in surprise. “What about him?”

“Just…” She shrugged. “Everything, you know. How we used to travel, training and stuff. I miss him.” She shook her head and blinked at her tears, insisting that they not fall. She couldn’t talk about this without crying and riding on a horse was not usually the best place to cry. She turned back to look at Felix again. “Are you excited to see your dad? It’s been years since you last saw him, right?”

Felix shrugged. “Yeah... it’s been about two and a half years, but I wouldn’t say I’m looking forward to it. You know my relationship with my dad isn’t the greatest.”

“Not to be Gilbert, but your relationships with dads in general aren’t the greatest.”

He huffed out a laugh. “That’s true...I did like your dad though.” Byleth nodded remembering all the times Felix pestered her dad to spar with him. “My dad on the other hand...well let’s just say that I would be excited to see him, but I know I’m not the person in this group he is the most excited to see, so I temper my expectations.”

Bernadetta and Petra had been riding just ahead of them and Bernadetta slowed down so they could catch up. 

“Felix don’t think I can’t hear you! We talked about this, remember.” Bernadetta pulled up to Felix’s left side and held out her hand. Felix rolled his eyes but held it. “Of course, your dad is excited to see Dimitri. It’s been five years and everyone but you thought he was dead! That doesn’t mean he doesn't love and isn’t excited to see you.” He nodded and released her hand. “At least your dad isn’t as bad as mine.”

“How would you know? You’ve never actually met my dad.” 

Bernadetta shrugged. “Very few dads could be worse than mine.” 

“You have talked about your father before, Bernie. He is seeming very unpleasant.” Petra said, now riding on Byleth’s right. “If I were to ever be meeting him, he would receive a part of my brain.”

Felix laughed. “I think you mean you would give him a piece of your mind.”

“Is that not the same as what I said?” Petra asked. 

“It’s a bit different.” Byleth grinned. “But we know what you meant. I think we’d all like to give Lord Varley a piece of our minds, or our fists.”

“Oh!” Bernadetta blushed. “You are all sweet to want to stand up for me. I’m not sure I’m worth all the trouble though.” Felix narrowed his eyes at her and steered his horse to move right beside hers. He leaned toward her and began to whisper something to her. Byleth, wanting to give them their privacy, sped up a little and turned to Petra. 

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something, Petra.” Byleth looked over at her. “Would you be interested in joining the war council as a representative of Brigid?”

“The war council? What does it do?”

“Mostly, we sit around and argue instead of making decisions.” Byleth chuckled. She explained the purpose of the council, who was on it and why, and the fact that they needed another person to join. 

“I would be loving to join, professor!” Petra smiled. “At times, I think people are believing I am not very smart because of my way of speaking. It gives me much happiness to know you do not think that.”

“Are you kidding? I was never officially your professor but working with you in seminars and getting to know you, I could see you’re brilliant.” Byleth grinned, seeing the other girl blush. “And don’t worry so much about the language thing. Speaking more than one language is impressive. You speak Fodlanese a lot better than I could ever speak Brigidan.”

“I could be teaching you if you are wanting to learn. It is not so hard. Dorothea learned many words when she was staying with me.”

“That might be fun.” Byleth nodded. “I’d love to see it someday. Growing up surrounded by mountains and forests, it’s hard to imagine the tropics of Brigid.”

“When the war is ended you could come to visit! I would be saying to bring His Highness with you, but I know he is not enjoying the heat.” Petra giggled. “When we were in academy, I was in the sauna most days, because it was reminding me of home, and there was a time that he was almost fainting in the sauna with you! Do you remember?” 

Byleth nodded. She remembered the one and only time she’d taken Dimitri in the sauna with her and the fact that he had overheated very quickly. Although knowing what she knew now, she wondered if a part of that was him being overwhelmed by being there with her. She’d have to ask him about it. “It’s a good thing you like heat, since we’re going to Ailell.”

“That is why I volunteered to come on this mission and asked Linhardt to also come. Hevring is also warm, being in the south of Fodlan. I am unsure how all the others more used to the cold will like it. You too, professor. We will see how you handle the heat in Ailell before we are deciding if you should be coming to Brigid.”

“You are going to Brigid?” Dimitri asked. Byleth was surprised to see him on her left side. She had not noticed that he had left his position at the front of the group and was now riding next to her. 

“Maybe.” 

“But not soon.” Petra said. “It would be far too much of a trip for you while you are expecting the babies.”

“Speaking of expecting babies, how are you doing? Are you tired? Hungry?” Dimitri looked at her with open concern. “We were thinking of stopping for a break and lunch since there is a stream up ahead where we can rest and water the horses as well.”

Byleth wanted to protest and say that she was fine and everyone asking her how she was doing was getting on her nerves. She wanted to say she didn’t need to take a break, but the truth was she was starving and her back hurt. She reached forward and rubbed her horse’s neck, thinking she must be tired too, as they were nearing the four-hour mark from when they had left Garreg Mach. “Lunch and a break sound like a great idea.”

Dimitri nodded and maneuvered back to the front of the group to talk to Gilbert. She sighed. She’d forgotten how much she liked watching him ride a horse. Soon, they pulled off the main road and into the forest. They found the stream and dismounted, letting their horses rest and drink while they sat under the trees for lunch. 

“Professor, is it true you are planning to visit Brigid?” Bernadetta asked.

Byleth nodded. “Someday. I’ve always thought it sounded like such a beautiful place.”

“I’ve always thought so too! If it isn’t too much to ask, do you think I could join you when you do decide to go?”

“Bernie, I’m shocked.” Ingrid grinned. “You want to go somewhere? Not only somewhere, but all the way to Brigid?”

Bernadetta blushed. “Growing up I had a book about the plant life in Brigid that was my most prized possession. I always dreamed of going but never would have thought I’d have the courage. If the professor is going, I would be much less scared.”

“She wants to go so she can bring back pitcher plant saplings and plant them at home.” Felix explained. 

“Home, Varley? Or home, Fraldarius?” Linhardt asked. “Because I don’t think they would survive in the cold of Fraldarius.” 

“Home Fraldarius. If Felix is going to be the Duke someday, he will need to be there.” Bernadetta answered, looking at Felix. “Besides, even if we win the war, I have too many negative memories of Varley to want to settle there. As for the plants...”

“We have a greenhouse.” Felix said. “The plants will be happy there.”

“Speaking of plants, Felix...there is something I have been meaning to ask you.” Dimitri said. “You once told me that I was like a pitcher plant. What did you mean by that?”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Oh that. After I decided Byleth was a cat during our academy year, Leonie, Ingrid, and I started assigning animals to people when we were bored on marches and stuff and soon it spread to everyone. We never gave you an animal though, since I already called you a boar.”

“Why am I a plant now?” He asked.

“The plant thing was something Bernie said. I just ran with it.”

“You told him about that?” Bernadetta gasped. “Oh goddess! I apologize, Your Highness. I hardly even remember saying it! I didn’t mean it! Please don’t kill me!” She buried her head in Felix’s shoulder. “Felix, save me!”

Felix smirked and kissed her on the head. “He’s not going to hurt you, right?” He looked at Dimitri, who shook his head. 

“Of course not; I have always understood why Felix called me a boar, even agreed with him. I am curious why you think I am a plant.”

“Oh...well...” Bernadetta sat up and dried her eyes on her sleeve. “I said your love for Byleth was like a pitcher plant because you can leave them unattended for years and they basically still thrive, and... because they bite.” She blushed furiously. “So, he took my observation and decided you’re a plant, I guess.”

“I don’t think His Highness is a plant.” Ingrid shook her head. 

“Thank you, Ingrid.” Gilbert said, crossing his arms. “It seems a bit disrespectful to refer to your king as-”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Ingrid interrupted Gilbert with a wave of her hand and looked at Felix. “I think you’ve just misclassified him, Felix. He was never a boar either. He is fiercely loyal and affectionate, but he will bite if he is mistreated or threatened…”

“Of course!” Felix said, pointing at Ingrid. “Why didn’t I see it before? He’s a dog!”

“Absolutely a dog!” Ingrid laughed. 

“Now that _is_ insulting!” Gilbert growled. “You cannot say such things-”

“I do not mind, Gilbert.” Dimitri said. “Although, I would rather be a wolf than a regular dog. After all, Blaiddyd does mean ‘wolf lord’ in the ancient tongue. Can I be a wolf instead?”

“No. You don’t get to pick your own animal; you’re assigned one based on your behavior.” Ingrid said. “Otherwise, do you think Felix would have ever chosen to be an albatross?”

“Not to mention, and please don’t take offence, Your Highness, but I don’t know if you’re cool enough to be a wolf.” Lysithea broke in. 

“He's definitely not cool enough.” Felix shook his head and looked at Dimitri. “Face it, you’re just a regular dog. More like a puppy, actually...”

“A Blaiddyd rex puppy!” Ingrid laughed then laughed more when Dimitri frowned at her. 

“Aww, I love Blaiddyd rexes.” Byleth said. “I’m partial to cats, of course, but the rexes are the cutest of the hounds around the monastery.”

“Of course, you like the Blaiddyd rexes the most.” Felix rolled his eyes at her. “They’re mopey.”

“And they howl the loudest.” Byleth smiled and looked at Dimitri from the corner of her eye. “They’re the sweetest ones too though.”

“How are you telling the difference?” Petra asked. “All the hounds look to be the same.”

Linhardt stretched and raised his head slightly from where he was lying on Lysithea’s lap. “That’s easy if you know what to look for. Blaiddyd rexes have sad eyes and droopy ears. Aegir hounds always have alert ears and tails, and Edmondions are the friendliest; they always look like they’re smiling.”

“How are you so knowledgeable about so many random things, Lin?” Bernadetta asked.

He shrugged. “I read.”

“So, let me get this straight you assigned people animals and... I’m a cat.” Byleth said. “Felix is an albatross, and Dimitri is a puppy. Does everyone else have animals?”

“Cat.” Lysithea said. 

“Cat.” Linhardt said at the same time.

“So many cats…” Byleth looked around. “Bernie, are you a cat too?”

She shook her head. “Felix said I’m a red panda.”

“Now those are adorable!” Lysithea said.

“Why a red panda?” Ingrid asked, looking at Felix. “I thought we assigned her a cat during the trip to the Rhodos coast when she didn’t want to get wet.”

‘We did, but that’s before I spent time in Varley and got to see some red pandas.” Felix explained. “Besides both being cute, they’re both territorial, solitary, prefer to stay in their dens all day, don’t usually like to interact with people, and will run away if they think they are being threatened, but if you back them into a corner, look out.” 

Byleth nodded. “That does sound exactly like Bernie.” She looked at Ingrid. “What about everyone else.” 

“In the Blue Lions we also have Leonie the honeybee and Dorothea the butterfly. Mercedes is a penguin. I’m a lion...” Ingrid smiled. “Oh, so are Petra and, believe it not, Hilda.” 

“I still disagree with that. Lions are just big cats.” Felix said. 

“Maybe, but lions are different.” Ingrid said.

“It’s funny Petra and Hilda are lions since they were two of the three girls in the officer’s academy who were eligible to transfer and did not join the Blue Lion house.” Linhardt said. “We decided Marianne was a fawn, so it’s a good thing she didn’t transfer out of the deer house.”

“For the record, I wanted everyone in my house.” Byleth said, finishing the last of her sandwich. “Seteth wouldn’t let me.” 

“I am a lioness?” Petra asked. “I like that! Does that make...my future husband...a lion then?” She shook her head. “That does not seem to fit him.”

“Nah, just because you’re a lion doesn’t make him a lion.” Felix said. “The only couples we know who are the same animal are these two cats-” He pointed to Lysithea and Linhardt.

“We aren’t a couple!” They both said. 

“...and Ashe and Annette who are both foxes. Most couples are different. I’m a bird and Bernie is a bear.” He pointed at Byleth and Dimitri. “Cat and dog…”

“Technically, red pandas aren’t bears…” Linhardt said, yawning.

“Hilda and I are lions but Caspar is a spotted hyena and Sylvain is a crow.” Ingrid said. “You just need to think of your fiancé’s personality and find the animal that works best.”

“I will have to do some thinking on it.” Petra said. “Was every student having an animal? What about the other deer and eagles?”

Felix narrowed his eyes, thinking and looked to Ingrid. “I think the only other black eagle we assigned was Ferdinand. He’s a horse.” Byleth was happy he did not mention Hubert and Edelgard, since that would be sure to sour Dimitri’s good mood. 

“Let’s see, as for the rest of the Golden Deer…” Ingrid said. “Ignatz is an owl, Claude is an otter, Raphael is a bear...and I think that’s everyone.” Byleth noticed Ingrid didn't mention Lorenz.

“I want an animal.” Catherine said. “Does Shamir have one?”

“We didn’t do it for faculty other than Byleth, but Shamir is a wolf for sure.” Lysithea said. “I’m not sure about you though.”

Byleth tapped on her chin with her finger. “Well, you did say during the slumber party that the only reason you’re still single is because you want to be. I have also heard you say you chew men up and spit them out.” 

“That is sounding like a praying mantis to me.” Petra said. 

Catherine exploded into a raucous laughter. “Whoo! I’ll take it!”

“As much fun as you all seem to be having at each other’s expenses, it is time for us to press on.” Gilbert said, standing up and walking towards the horses. 

Catherine watched him walk away. “I think he's a Gorilla.”

“Or a bullfrog?” Dimitri said, standing up and holding his hand to Byleth to help her stand.

“He’s an asshole.” Felix mumbled under his breath.

Byleth took Dimitri’s hand, stood up, and grinned at him. “Ready to get back on the road, Your Puppyness?” He glared at her and nodded, saying nothing, but his lips were pursed so tightly that she could tell he was trying not to laugh. She watched him as they all mounted their horses again and was pleased when she saw a grin finally break through on his face when he thought nobody else could see him.

***

Their night in Charon was uneventful. They arrived late in the afternoon and scattered to their sleeping quarters. After another long day of travel and a quiet night spent in Galatea with Ingrid’s family, they woke early the next day to begin their climb up the mountain road that led to Ailell. 

"Remember to fill your canteens and try to carry as little as possible." Byleth paced in front of the assembled group as they all readied to leave. Everyone was dressed in far less than they usually wore, except for Dimitri. 

She walked over to him. "Are you trying to melt? Take off the cloak and armor."

He shook his head. "I will remove the cloak if you insist, but not my armor."

"It's just a soldier exchange, we won't even be fighting anyone."

"Are you suggesting we leave our weapons behind as well?" He crossed his arms.

She shook her head and sighed. "You know what, Dimitri...wear the armor; wear the cloak if you want; I'm not going to let you goad me into an argument about it.”

He felt a slight smile twitch on his lips. “Is that because I said we could not go four days without arguing about something?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged and turned to face everyone else. “Let’s go!”

The walk was tiring and difficult. The terrain was rocky and there was little to no vegetation so there was nothing to soak up the burning rays of the sun. With every step Dimitri could feel the temperature rising. He did not want to admit that Byleth was right, but they had not gone far up the mountain and he was already sweating. He took a drink from his canteen and pressed on. By the time they reached the rendezvous point, he was out of water and was beginning to feel completely overheated. He was dizzy and could not focus on what anyone else was doing. Steam was rising from pools of lava on the ground further obscuring his vision. The ground, the surrounding mountains, even the very air seemed to be on fire. 

“Dimitri!” He heard Byleth’s voice through the fog and realized she was standing next to him holding something in front of his face. He could not tell what it was. “Drink this and come with me.” She pushed the object into his hands, and he saw that it was her canteen. He did not want to drink all of her water, but he was desperate and took a small drink as he allowed her to pull him where she wanted him to go. He assumed the water was helping since it seemed as though the temperature was dropping. 

“You’re ridiculous!” Felix walked up to him and reached for the ties of his cloak as Byleth removed his gloves. “Take these stupid things off before you pass out!” Dimitri grunted.

“Stand here.” Byleth said positioning him in front of a large rock. “Lin, hit him a few times.” Dimitri braced for impact instinctively. Why was she having him spar with Linhardt at a time like this? Instead of the physical blow he was expecting, he felt a cool breeze on his face, followed by another. He sighed. 

“This was the best idea ever, professor.” Ingrid said from somewhere nearby. “It doesn’t get as cold in Galatea as it does where these two are from and even I am having trouble with this heat. No wonder Sylvain didn't want to come.”

Lysithea was sitting on top of the rock that Dimitri now realized wasn’t a rock at all, but rather a block of ice that she was keeping cold with magic while Linhardt cast wind over it to cool the surrounding air. Felix called out to her. “When we get back to Ingrid’s we’ll make you the biggest birthday cake ever." 

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Lysithea said. 

"And Lin you can take the longest nap in history.” Ingrid sighed as the cool air hit her face.

Linhardt shook his head. "I think the professor's record for longest nap will be hard to beat."

“I mean it. I don’t know if we’d all survive this otherwise. I’m going to punch my dad for wanting to meet here. What was he thinking?” Felix grumbled and turned around so the cool air could hit his back instead. 

“Indeed. This valley is not a place I would ever care to return to.” Gilbert said. 

Linhardt blew another gust of wind over the ice. “Historically, there have been battles whose outcomes were determined in large part by the climate. I could see how fighting in conditions such as these would be a factor.”

“Professor, be honest; how are you holding up?” Catherine asked her. “This can’t be easy for you right now.”

“Honestly, I feel like I’m at my limit.” Byleth wiped the sweat from her brow with her forearm. “I knew it was going to be hot, but I never thought it would be like this.” Dimitri handed her canteen back and she took a long drink.

“Ah! I’m not sure I can take this heat anymore.” Bernadetta cried out. “I think I’m starting to see things.” She pointed in the direction opposite from where they were all facing. “Near those mountains over there...Is it just me or, is there a group of people gathered there?”

Petra turned to look where Bernadetta was pointing. “You are not seeing things…a group of people is there.” Petra said. “Felix, your father and his troops should be coming from the north and east side of the canyon…that cannot be them.” They all turned around to look at the group lining the foot of the mountain that surrounded the valley. The group was heading in their direction. 

“Fuck...that isn’t our banner. Someone else knew we were going to be here.” Felix growled, unsheathed his sword, and squinted to try to determine who the mysterious group was. “We may have trouble. That’s Lord Gwendal’s banner.” 

“House Rowe?” Dimitri felt his anger rise as he readied his lance. “They were one of the houses that curried favor with that witch and sold out Faerghus!”

Catherine turned to Byleth. “Will you have us meet them in battle or stay here and wait for Rodrigue?”

“Me?” Byleth’s eyes widened as she looked around at everyone. “Why should I decide?”

“You’re the acting archbishop.” Catherine said as she pulled out Thunderbrand. “You’re the highest-ranking person here.”

Byleth opened her mouth to answer but no words came out. She looked at Dimitri and he saw the question in her eyes. “There is but one option; we fight.” He said, looking at Gilbert. “How kind of them to save us the trouble of killing them later.”

“Aren’t they your former allies?” Byleth asked. "What if we can convince them to join our side?"

“I will not repeat myself.” He shook his head. “That banner belongs to the Gray Lion. It is a waste of breath to exchange words with one such as him.”

“His Highness is right.” Gilbert stepped forward and took his axe off his belt. “If Lord Gwendal is here on Cornelia’s orders, there will be no negotiating with him.” Gilbert looked at Byleth; she nodded. “Everyone, prepare for the attack.”

Dimitri looked around at the burning hellscape they were now expected to fight in. This was the second in as many battles where he was going to be forced to fight surrounded by flames. He heard his father’s voice ringing out in his head, telling him this was another ambush, just like Duscar, and he was transported back there. Back to the day and the place where his life changed forever. He gritted his teeth and tried to focus on where he was before turning around to face Byleth once more. “Except for you...please...stay back and stay with Felix!”

She wanted to argue, but she remembered what happened during and after the last battle she took part in. She already felt weakened by the heat, she could only imagine how terrible she would feel if she tried to fight under these conditions. She nodded at Dimitri and he rushed off with Gilbert and Ingrid chasing after him. She sighed. At least he had backup she could trust to keep him safe. She turned to the others.

"Judging by what I can see, it looks like they are heavily armored and almost all of them are flying or on horseback. We need to take away that advantage.” She looked around at who was still around her. “Bernie, shoot down the fliers and Lysithea, Dark Spikes to anyone on horseback within range. Lin, they’re going to get really hot as soon as they start dropping to the ground - hit them with fire. You three take out as many as you can from a safe distance. Petra, Catherine and Felix take out whoever they can’t reach.” They all nodded their understanding and followed the others, except for Felix, who stayed behind. 

“Felix, you need to go.”

“No.” Felix said. She turned to look at him and he shook his head at her. “I have my own orders, remember. I’m staying with you.”

“There’s only ten of us. With me out that leaves nine of you to take on all those soldiers. We’re completely outnumbered, and we can’t spare anyone else sitting out. I’ll stay back here where I’m supposed to. You go fight.”

“And incur the wrath of the boar puppy? No thank you.” 

Byleth huffed impatiently. They listened to the fight from afar and tried to watch what they could from their vantage point. Felix grumbled about his father being late and the fact that if he and his troops had been on time, the fight would have ended already. Suddenly, they heard a sound behind them and saw that a group of soldiers had either broken through or gone around. Whatever the reason, Byleth and Felix now had a large group of soldiers heading straight for them. 

“Shit. Looks like I’m fighting after all.” Felix stepped in front of Byleth. 

“Don’t be stupid. You can’t fight off all those people by yourself.”

“Yes, I can.”

She pulled her sword and stood next to him. “I won’t let you.”

“Byleth…” He growled. “Get back!”

“I’m not going to let you get hurt for me.”

“That’s literally my job, dumbass!”

“Shut up and get ready to fight!” She yelled. “We’ll get rid of them faster if we work together. Did I teach you nothing?!”

“If you die, I’m going to kill you!” He yelled back as he thrust his sword at the first soldier that reached him.

*** 

On the other side of the valley, Dimitri was facing off with Lord Gwendal’s men, trying to find a way to the man himself when a dark-haired man on a white horse rode up to him and Gilbert. He had a large group of soldiers with him. He dismounted and turned to direct his men into the fray before turning back to face them.

“Rodrigue!” Gilbert yelled at him. “It is about time!”

“Forgive me for the delay, old friend.” He looked from Gilbert to Dimitri and exhaled sharply. “Your Highness...Dimitri!” He pulled him into a tight hug and Dimitri did not even have time to flinch. “I can’t believe it’s really you! Look at you...you’re so tall!” Dimitri awkwardly returned the hug and Rodrigue laughed. “Do try to temper your joy, will you? This is a war after all!”

“To say something like that as a time like this.” Dimitri shook his head and tried to suppress a grin. “You have not changed one bit.”

“We’ll have time to catch up later.” Gilbert grunted as he pulled them apart. “We have more pressing issues at the moment.”

“What on earth could be more pressing than greeting my godson who was thought to be dead for five years?” Rodrigue asked. Gilbert glared at him and gestured to the fight still raging around them. “Right. How did you manage to get yourself into this mess?” Rodrigue asked as he levelled his lance at an approaching soldier and quickly put him down. 

“My guess is we must have a spy...among our number at the monastery.” Gilbert growled in between swings of his axe, swords clanging off his giant shield. “Someone who must have disclosed where we were to meet... and when.”

“To think that Cornelia has spies even inside Garreg Mach. I would say it’s unbelievable, but I put nothing past that woman anymore.” Rodrigue looked around the battlefield. “I see the banner of the Gray Lion...let’s see if we can’t find Lord Gwendal and put an end to this nonsense.”

They fought their way forward, toward the grizzled, gray-haired general Dimitri remembered from his youth. Lord Gwendal was always loyal to his father, and now he was Cornelia’s stooge. Dimitri’s simmering rage was threatening to boil over. 

“Well, well, it looks like the Shield of Faerghus has arrived with a few friends.” Lord Gwendal scoffed. “Watch out! We can expect more out of him than these young ones.” He called to his men. 

“I will show you what you can expect from the young ones, you doddering, old fool!” Dimitri sneered at him. “To think, a man praised as a lion is degraded to a mere traitor’s underling!”

“Can it truly be? The long-lost Prince himself?” Lord Gwendal scoffed. “Is that supposed to be an insult? You may think Cornelia is a traitor, but she is still our leader.”

“His Highness is our rightful king, Gwendal.” Rodrigue said. “You know that. Your fealty should lie with him!”

“I am first and foremost a knight of House Rowe.” He countered. “That means I serve at the will of the leader of Faerghus.” He looked at Dimitri. “Perhaps that was supposed to be you at one time, but your rule never came to pass. You may have been the Crowned Prince, but you were never crowned as king. The Kingdom of Faerghus is as dead as we all thought you were. I fight for the Dukedom now.”

“How dare you!” Dimitri growled. “You are nothing but a lowly beast scavenging for scraps and fighting your own countrymen. You have forgotten the dignity of knighthood.”

“I may be lowly, but this beast is loyal to his master.”

Dimitri felt a laugh escape from his mouth. “Well then, I had better kill the pet and deliver its head to that master!” He stepped forward and swung his lance at the much older man, who managed to block it.

“Does a whelp like you really intend to kill me?!” He thrust his lance at Dimitri. He dodged it easily. “I believe I would like to see you try. Do your worst!”

They fought and just as Dimitri thought he was going to faint from a combination of the heat and his exertion, he found that his strikes were finally finding purchase on Lord Gwendal’s form. He drove him back until he could go no further, a pit of lava was at his heels behind him. Dimitri hesitated only for a second, remembering this same man attending functions with his father, laughing with him, and serving him. But Lord Gwendal’s loyalty for Lambert didn’t transfer to Dimitri. The old man would never bend the knee to him if he genuinely believed Cornelia was the rightful ruler of Faerghus. He landed the final blow and Lord Gwendal fell to the ground. 

“Ah...so I have found a place to die. Here in the valley of torment. How fitting.” He coughed, blood coming out of his mouth. “Young one... Your Majesty...I thank you, my king.” He closed his eyes and was still. Dimitri blanched. 

“What?! Why would he thank me? Why did he call me...after fighting with me...why?”

Gilbert stepped up to his left side. “It is the way of knights to follow their master’s orders without argument. Lord Gwendal was a good knight; he followed his orders. In his final moments, he followed his heart, he died a good man.”

“He died. Now he is just a corpse, nothing more. What a waste.” Dimitri forced himself to look away from the old general. “Let us finish this and get out of here.” 

They walked back to the extra supplies Rodrigue brought, where he reached inside of a baggage cart and retrieved a long lance. It was Areadbhar, the heroes’ relic of the Blaiddyd family. The lance wielded by his father. 

Rodrigue held it out to him. “I almost forgot. Take this, Your Highness. The time has come for it to be wielded by its true master.”

Dimitri gasped. “Areadbhar…”

“The very same. I managed to steal it back from one of Cornelia’s underlings in Fhirdiad.”

“Understated as always, Rodrigue.” Gilbert said. “It must have been a true struggle to get it back.” Rodrigue shrugged.

“I... I am grateful, my friend.” Dimitri said, his voice almost a whisper. “Thank you.”

With his new lance in hand, Dimitri, Gilbert and Rodrigue joined the others in dispatching the remaining soldiers that did not flee once Lord Gwendal was killed. Ingrid said they should offer them the chance to defect and join the resistance, but they already had a spy in their midst. They could not take the chance of picking up another. When they finished, they walked back to where they had left Byleth and Felix. Even with his diminished field of vision and the hazy air, Dimitri could see there were many bodies surrounding where they both sat on the ground, Byleth leaning on Felix. They were both clearly injured as Byleth was shakily directing a healing spell to Felix’s abdomen and he had one aimed at her upper arm. Dimitri rushed over to them, leaving the others behind.

“What happened here?” He looked at Felix, who grimaced at him and shook his head. He looked at Byleth. “Were you fighting?!”

“We got surrounded and outnumbered. I wasn’t going to let him fight alone while I stood by and did nothing. He would have been killed.” She was breathing too quickly, almost gasping for air and she was so tired from the fight, the heat, the sustained magic use trying to heal the gash on Felix’s stomach.

“You are injured!” Dimitri yelled. "Both of you."

“And we would both have been killed if I had not helped fight back.” She looked up at him. “At least we’re alive.”

He frowned. “I do not want you going on any more missions after this!” 

She sighed. “Dimitri...I don’t want to talk about this now." 

She looked up and saw that the rest of the group had reached them. Linhardt walked up to her and Felix, his hands glowing.

Felix grunted. "Heal Byleth first. My healing magic is shit; she needs it more than me."

"Mine is just a surface wound in the arm, it looks worse than it is. Felix’s is more serious." Byleth argued.

"Your arm is covered in blood. That arrow might have hit an artery. Stop being so stubborn and go get healed!" Felix grunted at her. Linhardt shook his head and sat on the ground next to Byleth, directing healing magic to where the arrow had caught her left arm. 

Byleth frowned at Felix. “Your guts were almost ripped out and you’re calling me stubborn?”

“They didn’t fall out though, did they?”

"I'll take care of this one." Rodrigue said, dropping to a crouch in front of Felix. He placed his hands on Felix’s abdomen. He winced. "How are you doing, son?"

"I'm fine, great actually. I can wait for Lin to finish with Byleth. You don't have to heal me." Felix slapped weakly at his father's hands. "Leave me alone, old man! I said I was fine."

Rodrigue chuckled. "It's nice to see you haven't changed." His hands began to glow with magic and Felix could not keep himself from sighing in relief. His dad helped him to his feet once the gash was closed and pulled him into a hug. "I've missed you, son."

"Ugh..." Felix wiggled out of the embrace and was annoyed at the hurt look on his father’s face. "Yeah, ok...I missed you too, but it's too hot for hugging. We need to get the hell of here." 

Linhardt looked up at them; Byleth was slumped over on his shoulder. "I don't believe she is in any condition to walk out of here just yet."

"I thought she said the wound was superficial?!" Dimitri grunted, falling to his knees beside Linhardt and Byleth. “She was talking just a second ago, what happened?”

“It was superficial. The wound is not the problem.” Linhardt lifted her uninjured arm and let it go. It dropped like a stone. “She’s not unconscious, but she’s so drained she’s pretty close to it. She just needs a little more healing and rest.”

Catherine walked up to Linhardt. “Why don’t you and Lysithea get the ice and wind thing going again and Rodrigue can heal Byleth until she wakes up enough for us to go. Honestly, everyone needs to cool down and rest after that fight. If we start the trip back to Galatea like this, we won’t make it.” Linhardt agreed and he and Rodrigue switched places. 

Byleth squinted up at Rodrigue and yawned. “It’s nice to see you again, Lord Rodrigue.”

“Your Grace, you have no idea how happy I am to see you again as well.” He placed one hand on the back of her head and the other hovered over her stomach. “May I?” She nodded and he placed his palm on her growing belly and started to let healing energy flow into her from both hands. “Nice to meet you too, future heirs to Faerghus.” He said, patting her stomach before he smiled at Byleth. “I used to do this for my wife when she was pregnant. It helps to bring your energy up.”

She hummed, content as the energy flowed through her. “It’s working. You’ll have to teach Felix and Linhardt how to do it before we part ways.”

Dimitri frowned. He knew there was no rational reason why he should be annoyed about Rodrigue of all people touching Byleth’s stomach, but he was. There had been many times since their reconciliation that he had wanted to reach out and touch her belly, and say something to his children growing inside, but he had stopped himself. He clenched and unclenched his fists. 

After a few minutes, Byleth was able to stand. Dimitri went over to her. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine; I promise.” She looked him over and her gaze settled on his face. “Are you alright? You look troubled about something.” 

He was troubled. Besides being angry with himself for not being able to give in and touch her stomach when he really wanted to, he hated the fact that Lord Gwendal had waited until his dying breath to swear fealty to him. At the same time, he was disturbed about someone swearing fealty to him at all. He did not feel like a king and being called Your Majesty made him even more uncomfortable than Your Highness. Byleth was looking at him, waiting for an answer. He shook his head. “We can discuss it later.”

“If you two have a moment, there is a pressing Kingdom matter that I would like to discuss with you now.” Gilbert said. “You as well Rodrigue.”

Dimitri frowned. “Go on.”

“If you would wait a moment, I would like to bring Felix into the conversation too.” Gilbert frowned but acquiesced and they waited for Rodrigue to drag Felix away from Bernadetta and Ingrid. 

“This is a matter of some delicacy. Perhaps we should move away from the group a bit.” Gilbert motioned to an area not far away in the shade of the mountain and they started walking to it. 

“I am glad to see you are looking so well Rodrigue.” Gilbert said as they walked.

“Don’t let looks deceive you. I’ve had a rough go of it ever since I crossed blades with those traitors in Fhirdiad.” Rodrigue said, looking at Dimitri. “When I heard you’d been executed, I rushed there as fast as I could, blind with fury. When I got there, I was fed some garbage about not being able to see your body. The next thing I knew, I was gripping my blade and... anyway I didn’t know that Felix thought you had survived until I got back home and found him and Sylvain waiting for me.” He turned to his son. “You have done well to locate His Highness, Felix. I am truly grateful and proud.” Felix only hmphed in response. 

“And you, Your Grace. I have you to thank as well.” 

“Please, call me Byleth.” She shook her head. “And there really is no reason to thank me. I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s not how Felix tells it in his letters.” Rodrigue shook his head. “You may not have been here during the last five years, but in the last few months you have been instrumental in helping His Highness come back to us. We are in your debt and I will repay you for this someday, I swear it.” 

She was red in the face and he was sure it was not just the heat. Dimitri decided to rescue her from further embarrassing compliments. “I believe we are sufficiently far enough from the rest of the group. What was it you wanted to talk about, Gilbert?”

“Yes, and why could it not wait until after we left this hell hole?” Felix asked.

Gilbert glared at Felix before shifting his gaze to Dimitri. “We needed to speak here because I wanted Lord Rodrigue’s input on some important Kingdom business.” He looked back at Felix. “Is that a good enough reason for you?”

Felix rolled his eyes and looked at Rodrigue. “Do I really need to be here for this? The less time I spend around Gilbert the better.”

“Gilbert said it was important Kingdom business. I won’t always be around and as my successor it is your job to advise your King so...yes. I would say you need to be here.” Rodrigue answered, smirking at his son. In that moment Dimitri was struck by how similar they were. He realized that in most of his memories of Lord Rodrigue, he looked a lot more like Felix currently looked than the older man he now was.

“We need to discuss our next move in the war for the minds and loyalty of the people in Faerghus.” Gilbert said. “Lord Charon quickly came to our side and to our aid once he knew His Highness was alive. Lord Gwendal swore fealty to you as his king with his dying breath. If we had gotten to him sooner...we might have been able to sway him.”

“What are you saying?” Dimitri asked. 

“I am saying that we need to send out an announcement, not only throughout Faerghus, but all of Fodlan, letting everyone know that you are alive, reminding them that you are the rightful king of Faerghus, and informing them that you intend to fight to take back your throne.” Gilbert said. Dimitri frowned. 

“That’s not a bad idea, Gilbert.” Rodrigue said. “As evil as she is, Cornelia’s plan was nothing short of genius. After seizing power, she invited the Imperial army to Fhirdiad. Then she reorganized her troops and chased me down, me and everyone else who dared to express loyalty to the royal family. I suspect there are many who still supported you in secret. The news that you are still out here and are still fighting could bolster the hope of those who have had no hope in so long.”

“I think it’s a great idea.” Byleth said. 

“It couldn’t hurt.” Felix shrugged. 

Dimitri was not sure how he felt about it. He could feel all of them looking at him waiting for his permission to carry out the plan. Sending out those announcements would mean he was agreeing that he had intentions of being king. He had let go of such dreams and plans long ago. The pressure to say something was almost as oppressive as the heat, even as they stood in the shade. “I... I agree with you sending out the announcement.”

“Wonderful.” Gilbert said, what passed for a smile flashing on his face. 

Rodrigue turned to Byleth. “Your Grace, may I ask something of you?”

She nodded.” Only if you call me Byleth. Otherwise, no.”

He laughed. “Byleth...I wish to fight at your side.” He bowed. “I would like to accompany you to the monastery and make myself useful to you and the resistance army in any way I can.”

“Are you senile already, old man?” Felix scoffed. “Who will protect our territory while you’re with us at Garreg Mach?”

“I expected it might come to this, so I left those matters to your uncle. He has my complete faith.” He looked from Felix back to Dimitri. “I must keep my promise to our fallen king...to my dear friend.”

“What promise?” Byleth asked. 

“An incredibly old one. I swore it over twenty-three years ago. I am Dimitri’s godfather. I promised, in front of the goddess no less, to watch over him if anything ever happened to his parents.”

Felix scoffed. “If being a godfather makes you make such dumb decisions, I withdraw my application.”

“Too late, you’re stuck.” Byleth laughed. “You’re getting the firstborn too, so extra responsibility.” Felix rolled his eyes and tried not to smile. 

“Speaking of the children…” Gilbert cleared his throat. “There is one more idea I would like to propose. Along with the announcement of you staking your claim to the kingdom, it would bolster your case if we also announced that the King, along with his wife, are expecting the next heirs to the Kingdom. It will keep us from being drowned in marriage proposals and give the people at least a partial explanation for what you might have been doing over the last five years.” 

“There’s only one problem with that, Gilbert.” Byleth and Dimitri looked at each other, then she looked back at Gilbert. “We aren’t married. You know that...right?” 

“I am well aware of that fact. You must get married as soon as possible. It will legitimize the children as rightful heirs if something were to happen to you, Your Highness. We can always just say you were married a year or two ago.”

Dimitri shook his head. There was no way he would agree to shackle her to him. He had just agreed to officially announce he was going to fight for his throne - a throne he did not deserve, and he was not sure he even wanted. It was sure to make him a target. It would make her even more of a target than she already was. He looked at her. She was staring at him and she did not look happy. There was no way she wanted to marry him. He could not force her into a marriage she clearly did not want. If they were to marry and he died, as the queen consort, she would never be able to marry again. Even though the thought of her being with someone else made him queasy, he did not want to take away her options, no matter how badly he wanted to marry her. He shook his head again. “It is not a good idea right now.”

"Your Highness…" Gilbert stood up straighter. "I have held my tongue on the matter of your unborn illegitimate children thus far, but I can do so for no longer. Those children will be born soon. Legitimizing them is for their protection, and yours."

“Nobody would buy that we got married one or two years ago. I just woke up a few months ago.” Byleth said, crossing her arms. “People know that.”

“Technically, the only people who know that are us at the monastery, Claude, and Edelgard. Claude is on our side and Edelgard didn’t believe you. Nobody would question it.” Felix said. “You were both missing from the public eye for the same five years. It would be easy to work a story out. Dimitri escaped from prison, you got married and went into hiding, and now you’re back. Simple.”

“You can’t tell me you agree with this crazy idea?” Byleth asked. 

“Why wouldn’t I want you two to get married?” Felix shrugged. “You said it yourself, it’s my fault you’re getting along again. Besides, neither of you can tell me you won’t end up married anyway... someday.” 

“If things are ever questioned, I do have a letter in my desk at home that Felix wrote five years ago in which he told me that you had asked Byleth to court officially.”

“And I have the letter you wrote back saying that means they were engaged.” Felix said, looking at his dad.

“The two of you getting married is the smartest thing to do, politically, as well as for the children.” Gilbert said. 

“Oh goddess, you’ve all lost your minds...” She ran her hands through her hair. As soon as Gilbert said it, Dimitri had shaken his head. He didn’t want to marry her, and she didn’t want to marry someone who didn’t want to marry her. She felt tears sting her eyes. She thought they had made so much progress, and yet he dismissed the idea of them marrying out of hand. She had to get away from them all before she started to cry. 

Byleth looked at Dimitri, who was still frowning. She looked at Rodrigue and Felix. She finally settled her gaze on Gilbert and narrowed her eyes at him. He glared back and she crossed her arms. “Let me make this clear to all of you. I don’t care if getting married is the smart thing to do; I refuse to get married for the sake of politics.”

“Why should it matter if it starts out as a marriage for political reasons?” Gilbert asked Byleth. “Felix says you are headed in that direction anyway. You would just be pushing forward the date.” 

“Because we aren’t ready!” Byleth said. “We only just started getting along again, it’s too soon to add the pressures of marriage to this situation.”

“You may not want the pressures of marriage, young lady…” Gilbert crossed his arms and looked down at Byleth’s stomach. “...but it is clear you have already enjoyed certain benefits which should be reserved for the marriage bed. Getting married would hide your indiscretion. There is no reason the children should suffer for their mother’s lack of propriety.”

“Excuse me?! _My_ lack of propriety?" Byleth looked at Dimitri then back at Gilbert. "It isn’t as though I conceived them alone."

Gilbert squared his shoulders. "Young men will do what they will, a lady should know better. Even a common-born one." 

"Gilbert…no." Rodrigue shook his head.

“Asshole…” Felix muttered.

Byleth reached for her sword and Gilbert stumbled in his haste to take a step back from her.

Dimitri put his hand on her arm to stay her hand and took a step toward Gilbert. “You have gone too far, Gilbert! You are not to speak to her that way! Not now and not ever." 

"I simply-"

"No, Sir Gilbert…" His voice was quiet, but his anger was palpable. “She may not be my wife, but you will show her respect. I do not think I need to remind you that she may have been born a commoner, but she is now the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros. Unless you intend to tender your resignation and renounce your title as a Knight of Seiros, I would recommend you find a way to hold your tongue the next time you think about saying such things to her."

“I apologize, Your Highness…” He looked at Byleth. “Your Grace.”

“I’ve had enough of this conversation. The answer is no.” She looked at Dimitri. “Like Dimitri said, it’s a bad idea. And it’s just way too hot to listen to bad ideas right now.” Byleth turned and walked away from all of them. 

***

As they started their trip back to Galatea the energy felt awkward. Byleth knew that nobody else had heard their conversation, yet she still felt like everyone was staring at her. She hated it. She was at the back of the group and not speaking to anyone. Dimitri was lagging even further behind. Either he was still struggling from the heat, or he too didn’t feel like talking to anyone. He caught up to her and she decided it was the former.

"Are you alright?" Dimitri asked, walking at her side but without looking at her. “That was a pretty intense conversation back there.”

"No. I'm not." Byleth answered shortly. "You talking to me right now isn’t helping."

"Are we not supposed to be trying to talk?" He sighed when she didn’t answer. “We are missing counseling tomorrow, Manuela told us to make sure we talk during this trip and something just happened that I think we need to talk about.”

"Oh, you mean Gilbert proposing marriage to me for you? I agree, we should talk about that, but this isn’t a good time. Please feel free to talk to me about it when it isn’t this hot."

"Why does the temperature matter?"

She fanned herself with her hands. "Because we are both in bad moods from this infernal heat. If we try to talk about this right now, we’re going to fight. Every time we fight, I either get turned on or pissed off, or both." She pulled a hair tie she borrowed from Felix from her wrist and gathered her hair into a ponytail. It was past her mid-back now and she was starting to get frustrated with it. "Arguing with you makes my blood boil for one reason or another and it's boiling enough already without your help. Can you hold this?" She stopped walking and handed him her sword and supply bag. He held her things while she pulled her dress over her head and wiggled out of the sweaty, sticky fabric, revealing her tank top and shorts underneath. The outfit clearly showed the growing swell of her belly that the dress hid so well. She noticed his eyes widened at the sight of it as she shoved the dress in the bag with his cloak and then took it and her sword back. "It's just too hot for me to fight with you right now, Dimitri." 

"Can we not talk about it without fighting?" 

“I don’t think I could talk about anything without fighting right now, much less this. I just...need everyone to leave me alone until I can cool off. Please."

He shook his head. “Sometimes, I truly do not understand you. You say you want to communicate with me, and we have been playing at having conversations and solving conflict, but now that we have something important to talk about, you refuse to talk to me.”

“That’s right. I refuse to talk to you right now. I don’t refuse to talk to you about it later when it isn’t so hot!”

He growled. "Ugh...you are impossible. If you fare this badly in the heat, are you any better in the cold?”

“No. Actually, I hate the cold.”

“You know Fhirdiad is under snow most of the year. How are you going to survive living there?”

“I wouldn’t survive living there.” She stopped and stared at him. “Maybe it’s a good thing we aren’t getting married and you’d rather focus on taking down Enbarr than taking back Fhirdiad.”

He stared back at her and she couldn’t read his expression. “Perhaps it is a good thing.” 

They did not say another word to each other the rest of the trip back to Ingrid’s house. When they arrived back on the property Byleth went straight to the quarters she was sharing with Catherine. From the looks of the room, Catherine had already dropped her things off and made for the bathhouse. Byleth was about to do the same when she heard a knock on the door. She sighed and cracked the door open. It was Dimitri.

“Can we talk now?” He asked. “It is not as hot here...and I do not want to leave the conversation where we left it.”

She opened the door fully. “Come in... I’m still hot and cranky, but I don’t want to leave the conversation where we left it either.” He walked into the room and she closed the door behind him before turning and leaning against it. “I don’t like us sniping at each other. Especially when it seemed like we were finally making progress.”

"If we are making progress, why will you not consider Gilbert’s idea?"

"We haven't made enough progress for that. Besides, you didn’t consider it either. You said no first." 

She moved away from the door, sat down on her bed, and started to remove her sandals. Her feet were covered in dirt and she had a blister forming on her left heel. Before he could stop himself, he sat on the floor in front of her and helped her take them off. Her hands froze and she stared at him.

He shook his head. "Why would you wear sandals when you knew the last leg of this trip was walking up and down a mountain?" He had removed her shoes and started rubbing her left foot.

"Because I'm an idiot and a glutton for punishment, obviously.” She waved her hand at him. “Remember, my taste in men makes that clear." 

He huffed out a laugh and she felt his breath on her leg. Her breath quickened. They sat in silence and he continued to rub her foot, moving from her toes to her ankle. His face was scrunched in adorable concentration. 

_"He is trying so hard, Byleth."_ Sothis said softly. _“Talk to him.”_

She sighed. "I'm wearing the sandals because my feet and ankles are swollen, and they don't fit in my boots anymore. But sandals don't provide a ton of support so basically my entire lower body hurts, especially my stupid knee. So, I think I was walking weird to make up for that...and that’s how blisters are made. I assume the swollen feet thing is just one of the many joys of pregnancy." She rested her chin on her hand and watched him as his hands traveled from her ankle up her calf to her knee. His hands were more calloused than they were five years prior but somehow his touch was still as soft as she remembered. He reached behind her knee to undo the straps and remove her knee guard. He massaged her knee. She swallowed. "What are you doing, Dimitri?"

He let go of her leg and looked down. "I was just...concerned about you. With this heat and…" He raised his hand and reached for her stomach but redirected his hand and ran it through his hair instead. "...everything else...like this marriage idea of Gilbert’s."

She rolled her eyes. "Like you said, it’s a bad idea.”

“I never said it was a bad idea. I said it was not a good idea right now.”

“I fail to see the difference.” 

"What I said does not dismiss the idea altogether, just the timing. After all, Gilbert did make some good points.” He stood up and sat on the bed next to her. “Is the thought of being married to me so abhorrent to you? Even if it is for your own protection?"

"What is abhorrent to me, is marrying you because it is _Gilbert’s_ idea and not yours or mine. Or marrying you because it will protect me if something happens to you. Marrying you and ending up a widow even before our children are born because you rush off to Enbarr and die. Or marrying you because it will look good on paper, or save Gilbert the trouble of finding you a more suitable wife..." She shook her head. "When I was younger, I never thought I'd get married, but I knew even then that if I did it wouldn't be a marriage of convenience."

“It is only the timing that is convenient. That does not mean the marriage would be.”

“Then why did you say no?” He looked down at his hands and didn’t answer. She nodded. Whatever his reasons were for holding back, the important thing was they existed. He may not want to tell her what they were, but they were there. As long as he had those reasons, she would not agree to get married. "Dimitri…” He looked at her. “Today has been an awfully long day and I’m really tired. I'm going to lie down, ok.” He nodded and she spread out on the bed, purposely turning her back to him. She heard the door to the room close and the tears she'd been holding back began to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random question/poll. I always get itchy to break long chapters like this one into two parts when I see the word count go over 10K. My beta says long chapters are fine. Thoughts? Do you guys prefer the entire arc of a scene in one chapter, or would you prefer longer ones be split up?
> 
> Thank you all for your words and encouragement last week. It really helped me push through the nonsense my brain was trying to feed me. A big thank you to all my readers, both the commenters and the silent ones. I appreciate you all.


	30. Love and War in Lone Moon, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group returns from Ailell and gets down to the business of war. The war council makes a decision for once, and Byleth and Dimitri are faced with making a life-changing decision of their own. They struggle to remember to use the tools they have learned when the chips are down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys all said you liked long chapters right? Here ya go!

**_1 st of the Lone Moon_**

The ride from Galatea back to Charon had only just begun and already Byleth was both physically and mentally uncomfortable. Two days of riding followed by an unexpected fight in intense temperatures had taken far more of a toll on her body than she thought it would. After mostly avoiding conversation with everyone at dinner, she had left Lysithea’s birthday celebration afterwards early and then not slept very well because she was up all night thinking about Dimitri. When she woke up, her morning sickness was terrible, so she’d skipped breakfast. As a result, she was sore, hungry, annoyed, and in no mood to be on a horse surrounded by people who spent the morning asking her what was wrong. She needed to work on being able to slip on her Ashen Demon face again. It was getting far too easy for other people to read her emotions. 

_“It looks as if you are not the only one with easily read negative emotions today.”_ Sothis said. _“Poor Dimitri looks as if he is having a rough time up there.”_

Byleth looked up toward the front of their group where Dimitri was riding in between Gilbert and Rodrigue. Sothis was right; he looked to be in an even worse mood than she was. She could see that both men were talking to him. Byleth could tell by his posture and the downturn of his mouth that he did not like what they were saying. Part of her felt bad for him; she obviously took no joy in him being unhappy. A bigger part of her was just grateful that they were talking to him and not to her. If there was a sacrificial lamb on the altar of political nonsense, Byleth would rather it was him than her. She wondered if that made her selfish. 

“ _Of course, it makes you selfish. You know he would step between them for you, yet you would not do the same for him. Then again...he does know them better than you do.”_ Sothis giggled. “ _And besides, you have your own disgruntled Lord Fraldarius to deal with.”_

Byleth looked to her left and, sure enough, Felix was watching her again. He frowned. 

“What?” She said. “Why are you staring at me?” 

“What’s going on with you?”

She shook her head. “Is that a serious question? Do you not remember the conversation that happened yesterday? You know, Gilbert’s stupid idea…” She glared at him. “...an idea you agreed with. I still can’t believe you took his side. Gilbert...a man you hate, and you took his side over mine.”

Felix furrowed his brow. “I didn’t take Gilbert’s side.” He shrugged. “I just think you guys should go ahead and get married.”

“And I think that nobody else should be trying to make that decision for us, much less trying to force us into it before we're ready.” She glared at him. “Enlighten me, how is your thinking we should get married not the same as Gilbert saying we should get married?”

“I don’t know. It just isn’t.” Felix sighed. “Gilbert brought it up and wants you to do it for stupid reasons. Most of what he said yesterday was unacceptable and idiotic, but...he was right about one thing. Getting married would protect your kids if something happened to Dimitri.” He looked to the front of the group and shook his head. “And we all know that with the way he fights on the battlefield, something happening to him is more than likely. Isn’t it my job as a godparent to look out for the kids? Getting married would be the best thing for them.” Felix rolled his eyes. “Besides, you idiots love each other; why not get married? Are you really telling me you haven’t thought about it before yesterday?”

Byleth shifted on her horse, trying to get more comfortable as she avoided answering Felix’s question. Of course, she had thought about it. Imagined it. Hoped for it. What she hadn’t hoped for was someone else telling them to get married.

“Answer the question, Eisner.”

She sighed, exasperated. “Yes, I’ve thought about it but...I don’t want it like this.” She blushed, knowing her next words would make her sound like a lovesick fool. “I guess I wanted him to ask me, not have someone else propose on his behalf without his consent.”

“He did ask you. He asked to court you officially five years ago. You said yes; you’ve technically been engaged ever since.”

She rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t count. Neither of us knew that’s what it meant.”

“That doesn’t change what it meant. Just like this being Gilbert’s idea doesn’t change how you feel about each other. I don’t get what the big deal is.”

“It’s a big deal to me because it feels like an arranged marriage, like I’m being sold or something.” She paused. “About a year before we came to Garreg Mach, my dad received an offer to marry me off and he didn’t take it. He said he would never force me into an arranged marriage, and I was so thankful to him for that. A lot of our friends’ fathers wouldn't hesitate to marry their daughters off by force if the price was right, and I had felt lucky that it wouldn't happen to me; but here we are." He looked at her like she was a child and she glared at him. "Come on Felix; how would you feel if you were being forced to marry someone?”

He shrugged. “I almost was.” He pointed just up ahead. "Ingrid. After Glenn died my dad offered me as her husband instead. Her dad agreed to it. It almost happened, but Ingrid’s mom said no. She said they should wait and revisit it later, but they never did. Otherwise, we'd probably be married already."

"And that wouldn't have bothered you?"

"Probably not. We get along ok, I'm sure we would have grown to love each other eventually if we'd been betrothed at thirteen and neither of us ever dated other people. I mean, my parents' marriage was arranged too. A lot of noble marriages are. Marrying someone you want to marry is almost unheard of in noble circles, except for the soft-hearted Blaiddyds" He laughed. "Even in the middle of a war, and with her dad under house arrest, both my dad and Bernie's had to agree to us getting engaged before I could ask her."

"That sounds terrible." She was quiet for a while. "So, then you get it? If you had asked your dad if you could marry Bernie and he said you had to marry Ingrid after all, you would have been upset, right?”

Felix nodded. "Yeah, I guess we got lucky on the betrothal front with the war happening and everything. But your situation is different. The person you want to marry and the person you say you're being forced to marry, is the same fucking person."

"I know! I just...it feels wrong somehow.” She shook her head and groaned. “I can't explain it." 

"Alright, don’t get even more stressed out about it!” He held out his hand. “I've told you what I think and now I'm done. I promise I won't mention it or try to push you about it again if you agree to stop being mad at me. Deal?" She shook his hand and agreed. 

They had a much more pleasant trip to Charon after that. She even participated in the conversation at lunchtime, where she was told that Lysithea and Linhardt were officially together after Lysithea kissed him the night before while all hopped up on sugar from her birthday cake. Byleth had not spoken to Dimitri since their conversation after returning from Ailell. She would have spoken to him when they stopped for lunch, but he sat by the stream with the horses, alone. She figured after a few hours of his advisors in his ears, he probably needed some time to himself. 

Dimitri was in a foul disposition by the time they reached Lord Charon’s manor. He had to listen to Gilbert and Rodrigue make plans about taking back the kingdom and what they would need to do once they took it the entire ride from Galatea to Charon and he was sick of it. While he cared about what happened to his homeland, he was certain he would not live to see any of the changes they talked about, much less be the person who implemented them. To make matters worse, instead of getting to go rest in the knight’s quarters, like Linhardt immediately did upon their arrival, Dimitri was being forced to attend a formal dinner with Lord Charon, his oldest son Conrad, Rodrigue, Gilbert, and Felix. He felt a modicum of relief that Felix, at least, looked as disgruntled about attending the dinner as he felt. 

Dinner was a dour affair. He could tell that Lord Charon had his cook prepare his best dishes and Dimitri had to pretend to like them. He and Catherine’s older brother Conrad made a big show of swearing him fealty and he had to force himself not to grimace while it happened. 

“Your Highness…Ah, Your Majesty...” Lord Charon said as he stood and bowed to him. “I agree wholeheartedly with the plan to announce your return and your intention of retaking the kingdom and your throne. Know that the full support of House Charon and its knights will be behind you.”

Dimitri nodded. Behind Lord Charon Rodrigue motioned for him to say something; Felix kicked him under the table. “Um...thank you, Lord Charon. Your support will be invaluable, and your loyalty is appreciated.” He was shocked to hear himself speak and sound somewhat like who he was expected to be. He supposed all those hours spent tutoring him in manners in his youth were still rooted in his brain somewhere. 

Evidently, the one sentence was all that was expected of him that evening, but even saying that one statement made him feel like a fraud. Lord Charon had called him Your Majesty and named Dimitri his king. Just like Lord Gwendal before he died. It was more than he could bear. Dimitri was not a king, regardless of what anyone said. He did not feel like a king, was not worthy of being a king, could not possibly be capable of doing what a king needed to do.

“ _You aren’t ready to be called a husband either, are you?”_ Glenn asked. 

“ _Certainly, not worthy of being my daughter’s husband.”_ Jeralt agreed. 

“ _You would be incapable of protecting her from your family’s curse if you married her. If you really loved her, you would keep your distance before you make the mistake of giving her your filthy name.”_ Patricia said. 

“Boar…” Felix sat to his right and was trying to get his attention. He turned to look at him and noticed that the others were all getting up. While Dimitri was being harassed by his ghosts, dinner had ended. Felix narrowed his eyes at him, studying him. “Come spar with me before we go to bed for the night.” Dimitri nodded, stood, and followed Felix out of the dining room. They went to the small training ground next to the knights’ quarters and sparred until Felix finally tired. Even though they did this all without saying a word to each other, Dimitri felt much better than he had when they entered the training ground. 

They sat on a bench cooling off and wiping the sweat from their brows; Felix sighed. “Look, I could tell you were freaking out at dinner. Don’t let all of this throw you into a tailspin and make you lose all the progress you’ve made.” He looked at Dimitri and it was almost as if they had gone back in time to when they trained together as children and spoke as friends. Dimitri felt his heart clench in his chest. “I get it. Between the king stuff and the marriage stuff, it’s a lot to deal with. If you start feeling like everything is crashing in on you, just find me and we can spar until that feeling goes away. 

“Thank you, Felix.” 

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” 

They heard footsteps and Dimitri looked up to see Rodrigue walking toward them. “I should have known I would find the two of you here.” He laughed. “Felix, do you mind if I have a word with His Highness alone?”

“Go for it. I’ve had enough of being your second for one day, old man.” Felix said, rolling his eyes and standing up. He threw a mocking salute at his father. “Happy to be dismissed.”

Rodrigue laughed and threw an arm around Felix. “Have I mentioned I missed you?”

Felix grimaced. “Once or twice, dad.” He looked back at Dimitri. “Don’t forget what I said.” 

Dimitri nodded and watched Felix as he wiggled out from under his father’s arm and walked out. He could not imagine ever speaking to his father the way Felix spoke to Rodrigue or his father openly hugging him as often as Rodrigue forced hugs on Felix. Perhaps that was because Dimitri had now spent almost as much time with Lambert’s ghost as he had with the man when he was alive. He frowned. Sometimes it was difficult to think about his father as the person he used to be or would have been, and not the ghost he ended up. 

Rodrigue sat on the bench next to Dimitri. “I have something else for you. I just wanted to wait until we were alone to give it to you.” He brought a small box out of his coat pocket. “I rescued this from the castle the same day I stole Areadbhar back.” He sighed. “I know both you and Byleth were taken aback by Gilbert’s insistence that you get married, but if you do decide you want to...” Rodrigue opened the box to reveal an engraved silver ring with a shining emerald in the center. “...you might want this.”

“Is that…'' Dimitri looked closer at the ring and recalled the portrait of his parents on their wedding day that hung in the great hall of Blaiddyd castle. He swallowed. “That is my mother’s wedding ring.” 

Rodrigue nodded. “It is. I should know; I helped your father pick it out.” He closed the box and handed it to Dimitri. “It is yours now. Whenever you decide to give it to her is up to you, although I would recommend sooner rather than later.” Rodrigue put his arm around Dimitri. “I know you will make the right decision regarding the marriage. I have faith in you.”

Dimitri shook his head. “I am afraid your faith in me might be misplaced. It has been a long time since you have seen me. You do not know what I have done, who I have become. I would not be a good husband to anyone. Byleth deserves better than me.”

“I don’t believe that for a second; you would make a fine husband. What you have done is not as important as what you will do, and from what I have seen...I could not be prouder of who you have become.” He paused. “Do you _want_ to marry her?” 

“She does not want to marry me.” 

“That isn’t what I asked.” Rodrigue studied him and Dimitri shrank under his intense gaze. The clenching in his chest from earlier in the evening returned and tightened. Of course, he wanted to marry her. He wanted to marry her like he wanted to keep breathing, but he knew, even without his father reminding him, that he was not meant to have those kinds of things: love, marriage, a family, peace. He was built for destruction and chaos and destined to die on the battlefield in the near future. Byleth was the vessel of the goddess and he was a vessel for the revenge of his loved ones. There was no way the two could ever coexist. “Dimitri, think of nothing else but your feelings for her. Not the logistics, not the reasons you have for being wary, just your feelings. Do you want to marry her?”

“Yes.” He whispered, his voice barely audible, but loud enough for Rodrigue to hear. Loud enough for his ghosts to hear and resume their cruel taunting. They did not stop their barrage of torment for the entirety of the night and they continued to scream at him all the way from Charon back to Garreg Mach the next day. 

***

**_3 rd of the Lone Moon_ **

Upon their return to Garreg Mach, Byleth dragged herself up to her room and fell asleep for almost an entire day. Manuela came in to check on her at one point, and unless she was hallucinating, Dimitri also stopped in to bring her food. He’d sat at her bedside and told her he wanted her to get up and eat something. She wanted to reach out and touch his arm to let him know she appreciated having him there, or to say thank you for caring enough about her to make sure she didn’t starve, but her tongue and arms felt as if they were made of iron, so she could say and do nothing but nod and soon fell asleep again. After the one day of rest, she felt good enough to return to her regular routine. 

She sat at her desk, with Seteth in the chair in front of her. They drank tea and Byleth told him about the trip to Ailell and what happened while they were there. 

“I fail to see the problem. Do you not want to marry him?”

“In general, yes. At this time and under these circumstances, no.” Byleth said, crossing her arms. Seteth raised an eyebrow at her. “For some reason, all of this is just bringing up a lot of unwelcome thoughts for me. I don’t know if I’m really mad about getting married or if it’s everything else. Besides, as I mentioned, it doesn’t matter if I want to marry him; he doesn’t want to marry me.”

“Of course, he does. Don’t be silly.” Seteth waved off her response. “You say you are mad at everything else. What is everything else?”

Byleth huffed. She hated that everyone, well Seteth and Felix so far, kept brushing her off when she said that Dimitri didn’t want to marry her. They didn’t see his face when Gilbert mentioned it. Better to focus on her anger about other things; it was easier to think about than him rejecting her, again. “Well, I guess it all boils down to the fact that I have never had very much agency in my own life. I always thought at least when or whether I got married was the one thing I would have control over.”

“A lack of agency?”

She nodded. “Yes. Starting with the day I was born. I was dead; Rhea brought me back. My entire existence went against my life plan. I’m not even supposed to be here!”

“That is debatable…”

“Maybe, but what about after that? I could have grown up here in the monastery, but that choice was taken from me when my dad stole me away. After that, I was a mercenary because he was a mercenary. If he had been a farmer, I would have been a farmer. I just...followed along with what I was told to do until I came here where, all of a sudden, I got made a professor. Guess what? That isn’t something I chose either. I was terrified at first. I didn’t know what I was doing at all!”

“You ended up a very capable professor.” 

“That isn’t the point!” She took a deep breath. “I had to merge with Sothis to save our lives, no choice there. I’m going to be a mother, and even though I’m excited now, I wouldn’t have chosen for it to happen now or like this.” She motioned to all the paperwork on her desk. “And don’t get me started on all of this. I am going to be Archbishop. All because Rhea is my grandmother, but I have little understanding of the church and the thought of spending my entire life in this office making decisions about requisitions and repairs makes me want to pull my hair out...”

“I think I am seeing the pattern.” Seteth put his teacup down on the desk. “I take it part of the problem with marrying Dimitri is that Queen is another title you would be forced to take on.”

“Seteth, look at me. I’m not a queen. I can get away with being Archbishop because Rhea herself named me her successor, but queen?” She shook her head. “Just the thought of it is laughable.”

“I disagree. I think you would make a stunning Queen of Faerghus.” 

“What do you know about anything anyway?” She rolled her eyes, but blushed. “Being thousands of years old doesn’t mean you know stuff.”

“Actually, it does.” He grinned. “Would you lash out at me if I told you I am in favor of you two getting married soon?”

She frowned at him. “I would have to try very hard not to.”

“Then I shall take my chances. I think you should get married, and if you decide to do so; I would be happy to perform the ceremony for you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” With that they got to work and worked in silence for a while. Byleth watched Seteth sign paperwork and decided to give voice to one of her biggest fears when it came to marrying Dimitri. If anyone could understand it, it was him. “Seteth…” He hummed in response but did not look up from the report he was reading. “I’m also scared to get married because I’m afraid I won’t die.” His head snapped up. “I know I’m not a full-blooded Nabatean like you and Flayn, but I am descended from Rhea, and fused with Sothis. What if I can’t die?”

“You can die, Byleth. So can Flayn and I, and Rhea. We are not immortal; we can be killed by any means that would kill a human, even old age. It is just that our old age is much longer. We age very slowly compared to humans, but eventually we too would grow old and die. Even Sothis aged and would have died eventually if she had not been killed.”

“I don’t want to age slowly and watch Dimitri grow old and leave me. I don’t want to be stuck grieving him for hundreds of years.”

“I can understand that.” Seteth nodded solemnly. “I have often wished that I died along with my wife so that I did not have to spend so many years missing her. But the time we had together was precious, and I would not trade it for the world. If you feel that way about His Highness, that is all the reason more why you should get married. Even if one of you dies much sooner than the other, it will still be worth it.”

Byleth leaned her chin in her hand. “Manuela said something like that the other night at Felix’s party. She said love doesn’t have to be eternal to be meaningful.”

“Manuela said that?” Seteth blinked in surprise. Byleth nodded. “That...is very wise of her.” He sighed. “For what it’s worth, I do think you are aging. At least, faster than Flayn or I at any rate.”

“What makes you say that?”

He pointed at her. “Your hair. I am not sure if you have noticed, but Flayn and I don’t have to get our hair cut very often. The fact that yours seems to be growing is an indication that time is passing more normally for you.” He smiled and picked up his tea. “But you shouldn’t listen to me. Just because I’ve lived thousands of years doesn’t mean I know stuff, after all.”

Byleth stood up and walked around her desk. She stood by his chair. “Can you stand up?” He stood and she leaned against his side. He hugged her. “Thank you, Seteth. You’ve been more help than you know.”

“You are most welcome, Your Grace.” He let go and she sat down behind her desk again. He remained standing and started to gather the majority of the documents from her desk. “I must attend to some other business, but before I leave you, I have one more thing to say. We have entered the Lone Moon. As it is the end of the year, this is the perfect time to reflect on your life in the past year and think about where you would like to be in the next. I believe you would find it helpful.”

She nodded and watched him walk out of her office, his arms full of paper. If she was sure about anything, she knew that one year from now, she would prefer for Seteth to be sitting behind the Archbishop’s desk instead of her. 

***

Later that afternoon, Byleth walked into the Cardinals’ Room for their first war meeting since returning from Ailell. It was strange that with just two extra people at the table, the room looked much fuller. She took her seat next to Felix and made eye contact with Dimitri, which she intended to be fleeting, but instead found that she couldn’t look away. She thought about what Seteth had told her about love and marriage being worth it, even if it was short-lived, and felt herself blush. He raised an eyebrow at her and she looked away as Seteth called the meeting to order. 

“First of all, I would like to welcome our two newest members of the council, Lord Rodrigue Fraldarius and Petra Macneary. We are happy to have you.” There was a polite round of applause. 

Felix raised his hand. “We have way too many people representing the Kingdom now; it’s lopsided. Not to mention that we added two new people so we still have an even number and ties will still happen.” He smirked. “I would like to resign from the council and spend my afternoons training instead. With my dad here, I don’t need to be here.” 

On the other side of Felix, Ferdinand shook his head. “Absolutely not! You have been here from the beginning and your insight is invaluable. You are logical and unbiased, even though you are representing the kingdom. I move to deny Felix’s request to resign.”

“You can’t do that!” Felix groaned. 

“I second.” Rodrigue said. 

“All in favor?” Ferdinand asked for a show of hands and everyone raised their hands except for Felix and Gilbert. Ferdinand clapped Felix on the back. “Sorry, Felix. You are stuck with us.”

“I hate you.”

“Felix is right about one thing; we are still an even number; we will need a tie breaker.” Seteth said. "But I suppose we will cross that bridge when we get to it. Any new business?"

Rodrigue cleared his throat. “Seteth, if I may?” Rodrigue went on to detail what happened with Lord Gwendal in Ailell and the conversation with Lord Charon. He revealed their plans to announce that Dimitri was still alive, still king, and intent on fighting for his country and throne. 

“That’s awesome!” Hilda beamed at Dimitri. “Good thinking, Your Highness! You can add House Goneril to your list of supporters, and I’ll write to Claude to get him to sign on. It will look really good to have the Archduke of the Alliance backing your claim too.”

“Linhardt and I are still technically the heirs of Aegir and Hevring. You should put us on there as well so everyone will know you have support even in Adrestia.”

“And Brigid!” Petra said. “I sent a letter to my grandfather when we were in Charon. I was asking for his support for you as well. You can put down my name as support while we are waiting for him to be writing back.”

Gilbert was furiously taking notes as Dimitri looked increasingly uncomfortable.

“Thank you, all of you.” Rodrigue said with a smile. “Now, I did not bring this up only to get your support, but because I have a motion, I would like you to consider. I move that we change the dynamics of our fighting force and switch from being a resistance army made from fighters from all over Fodlan, to being the Kingdom army, fighting for King Dimitri, under his banner. We would still make decisions as a council, but we would present a united face against the Empire.”

“I second.” Gilbert said.

“Any objections?” Seteth asked. Byleth could not help but notice that the only person who looked like they objected was Dimitri himself. They went around the table and everyone agreed to the new arrangement much quicker than Byleth would have thought. The only hesitation came from Alois, who asked if the Knights of Seiros could still keep their designation, since many of them were more loyal to Rhea than anything, and he did not want to anger them. It was agreed that the Knights of Seiros would continue to operate as their own unit and support the newly founded Kingdom army. 

“If there are no further objections, shall we vote?” Seteth said. “All in favor of fighting under the Kingdom’s banner with support from the Knights of Seiros…” He raised his hand. All the other hands around the table went up, except for Dimitri’s and Byleth’s. “Your Grace? You do not agree?”

“It isn’t that.” She looked at Dimitri. “I don’t want to agree if you don’t.”

“I…” Dimitri looked around the table. “I was not aware that I got a vote on this.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Of course, you get a vote.”

Dimitri looked from Felix back to Byleth. She cocked her head at him. He nodded and raised his hand; she raised hers in response. 

“Unanimous.” Seteth said, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “We don’t have many unanimous votes at this table.”

“I doubt we will for the next item.” Ferdinand said. “We said we would revote on our next move after you returned from Ailell.”

“Ugh, do we have to go through this again?” Felix asked. 

“We do; so, let us discuss it.” Seteth said. “Rodrigue and Petra, since we have not heard your opinions on the matter, we will start with you. Do you think we should prioritize retaking Fhirdiad, or making progress toward Enbarr?”

Rodrigue motioned for Petra to speak. “I would be voting to move towards Enbarr. It has been a long time that Brigid is being a vassal state of Adrestia. If we are wanting our freedom, Edelgard must fall.”

Rodrigue chuckled. “You added two people to the council, and it looks like it is still going to be a tie. I vote to retake Fhirdiad first.”

Dimitri sat up in his chair. “How could you say that? You of all people know how things have suffered under Imperial rule. To end it, we must go to Enbarr. If we defeat Cornelia, another Imperial puppet will just take her place. We must deal with the source of the problem.”

“Fhirdiad is in a terrible state right now and it’s all thanks to Cornelia’s rule. Her tyranny is unbearable, and so the rebellions are endless. Refuges are starving to death in the streets.” Rodrigue shook his head. “I find it hard to believe that anyone the Empire would try to instill in her place could possibly be worse than she is.”

“That miserable witch.” Dimitri growled. “If only I had been able to kill her years ago.”

“If I may speak freely, Your Highness…” Rodrigue hesitated. “Felix has told me of your plans to invade Enbarr, but they require more reinforcements than we currently have. If we saw positive responses to the news of your return from those in the kingdom, would you consider changing course to take back Fhirdiad before we embark to Enbarr? Conquering the kingdom would allow us to gather countless more reinforcements.”

Dimitri shook his head. “There is no time for that. We must annihilate Enbarr before all else.”

“Think this through. I understand wanting to destroy the Empire and the Emperor. I want that so much it hurts. But which is more important, the living or the dead?” 

“Silence!” Dimitri shouted, as he banged his fist on the table. Byleth was in shock at Dimitri shouting at the man she knew he had long considered his mentor. 

“No, Dimitri. You will hear me out.” Rodrigue said, his voice steady, which only seemed to raise Dimitri’s ire even further. 

“Are you asking me...asking the dead to forgive that woman?” Dimitri shook his head. “Forgive Edelgard for everything she had done?”

“No, I would not ask that of you. What I am asking is that you prioritize the Kingdom capital over the Imperial capital for now.” Rodrigue took a deep breath. “As Lambert’s oldest and most trusted friend, I am confident that he would have advised the same.”

“Do not dare to put words into the mouths of the dead. They are your words alone even if you borrow their lips.” Dimirti growled. “I know what my father wants.”

“Dimitri…” Felix started. “Don’t start with that.”

“No! Until I offer up that woman’s head, Father will remain a slave to his lingering regret and hatred. Even now he suffers. It is ceaseless. As we waste time with idle chatter, his suffering continues.”

“This is getting us nowhere.” Seteth said. “Let us see how we stand. All in favor of turning toward retaking the kingdom?” Seteth raised his hand, followed by Ferdinand, Felix, Rodrigue, and Byleth. Dimitri glared at her. 

“I told you I was changing my vote.” She said, unflinching. 

“Fine.” Dimitri said. “I can count and know how this will end, but – all in favor of heading to Enbarr?” He raised his hand and was joined by Gilbert, Hilda, Petra, and Alois.

“Alois?” Ferdinand turned to him. “Last time we voted you voted to head to Fhirdiad, what changed your mind?”

“Well, we have more reinforcements now, and I thought more about it and agree with His Highness that the weather is not conducive for us to invade Fhirdiad at present.”

“Then we have a tie, again.” Seteth said. 

“Well, wait just a minute…” Hilda said, pointing at Dimitri. “Didn’t we just vote to march under his banner? To name and support him as king? We said we would still vote on issues as a council, but in the event of a tie, shouldn’t the leader of our army make the final decision? Isn’t that what swearing fealty to a king means?”

Rodrigue winced. “You make an excellent point Lady Goneril.” He looked at Dimitri and sighed. “I apologize, Your Highness. You are my king. Our king.” He looked at Felix, who shook his head at him. “Wherever you lead, House Fraldarius will follow, as we have always done. I will change my vote to marching for Enbarr.” Dimitri only blinked at him as both Felix and Ferdinand frowned. 

Seteth nodded. “Very well. The vote is carried in favor of pushing through to Enbarr.”

“Your Highness…” Rodrigue turned to Dimitri once more. “I will say one more thing and I pray to listen. There are those who take up their sword in the name of revenge, and yet along the way lose the strength and composure to follow through. You would do well to bear that in mind.” 

The rest of the meeting was a tense affair. Felix seethed beside her and Dimitri continued to glare at her from across the table even though the vote had gone in his favor. When the meeting concluded, Byleth was eager to escape the meeting and lock herself in her office for a while, but Dimitri caught up to her in the audience chamber. 

“You changed your vote.” He said, reaching out and stopping her. 

She turned to look at him. “You told me to change my vote if I didn’t actually agree with you. I don’t. It isn’t the right move.” 

“Even now?” He shook his head. “Even when the vote has passed and the plan of action is in motion, you will not support me on this?”

“I will always support you, Dimitri. That doesn’t mean I have to agree that your plan makes strategic sense; it doesn’t.” 

“Let us not pretend that you only care about logic and strategy.” Dimitri looked down at her. His gaze was not harsh; he looked almost sad. “There are other things that would make strategic sense that you are not in favor of doing.”

She sighed. “You’re talking about getting married?” He nodded. “You’re right. I don’t want to get married because it makes strategic sense. That’s a bad reason to get married.” She crossed her arms. “Can you give me a better one?” 

He looked down at his feet and sighed, saying nothing. After a few moments of silence, he spoke again, much more softly than before. “I think we should skip tea together today. We need more time to think if we want to talk and not fight.” He looked back up at her. “Can we resume having dinner and tea tomorrow?”

Byleth felt tears sting at her eyes. She had missed spending time with him for the past few days, but she would not push him. “That’s a good idea.” She said. “I’m still a little tired from all the travel and everything. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dimitri.” He nodded and she spun on her heel and turned toward the staircase that led to her room instead of going to her office. 

***

**_6 th of the Lone Moon_ **

Byleth was thrilled to be out of the monastery and out in the village with Mercedes. It was wonderful to be on a mission that wouldn’t lead to a battle for once. Mercedes had found Byleth scowling into her tea at breakfast and asked her if she wanted to come along for a walk in the village. She was on a quest to go scouting the buildings nearby to see if there was one that was undamaged and suitable for the church to turn into an orphanage. The war had caused a lot of children to lose their parents and Mercedes was eager to do her part to help them. Byleth happily agreed to go with her and she was glad she did. The fresh air was doing wonders for her bad mood.

It had been four days since they returned from Ailell and three since the conversation she’d had with Dimitri where he cancelled their teatime and asked to resume the following day. The problem was that they didn’t resume having meals and tea together the next day, or the one after that. Three days had passed, and they kept putting it off for one reason or another. Somehow, they are back to being overly polite and cordial with each other and have not had a real conversation, much less an important one, since they returned from Ailell. It made her want to throttle Gilbert every time she thought about it. 

Mercedes reached over and smoothed the spot between Byleth’s eyebrows with her index finger. It was glowing with magic. “Now, now...no frowny faces. I know you are worried but thinking about things too much will give you more of these nasty headaches.”

Byleth nodded. It was amazing how much better she felt. “I didn’t even realize I had a headache. I thought I was just in a bad mood.”

Mercedes giggled. “One certainly can cause the other.” She pointed down a street to their left. “Let’s try that way. Closer to the town square.”

Byleth followed where Mercedes led and was amazed to see that the town was once again as bustling with activity as it was before the war. People had returned in droves. All manner of businesses were opening up and the residents that had abandoned the town had returned. They sat in the town square for a while, watching the activity around them. 

“It’s so nice that the people have returned to this place. I was tired of seeing the ghost town it had turned into.” Byleth said.

“Don’t be so modest. Much of this has to do with your return. Having an Archbishop in place, even an acting one, has been a boon to the area.” 

The heard a commotion not too far away and saw a group of people swarming in a bunch. Byleth looked at Mercedes and they stood to check it out. They could just hear the town crier in the middle of the crowd. He was handing out pamphlets. 

“Oyez! Oyez! His Royal Majesty, King Dimitri I has returned and is fighting for his throne! Read all about it here!” Byleth and Mercedes each grabbed one of the pamphlets and read it. 

**_Attention people of Fodlan and beyond,_ **

**_We, the undersigned, are proud to confirm the glorious news of the return of His Royal Highness, Prince Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd and hereby proclaim, that by right of birth, he shall henceforth be known as His Royal Majesty, King Dimitri I, rightful King of Faerghus._ **

**_Under his incomparable leadership, the Resistance Army of the Kingdom of Faerghus, with support from multiple allies, is resisting the tyrannical occupation of Fodlan by the Adrestian Empire, and the rule of Empress Edelgard von Hresvelg as well as any who support her._ **

**_We are also hereby excited to announce that King Dimitri, along with his wife, are expecting twin heirs to the Kingdom within the year! Our greatest congratulations to the happy couple!_ **

**_All hail, King Dimitri! Long may he reign!_ **

**_With the support of,_ **

**_Duke Fraldarius, Margrave Gautier, Count Galatea, Baron Dominic, and Lord Charon of Faerghus; Archduke Reigan of the Leicester Alliance along with leaders of House Goneril, House Ordelia, and Margrave Edmund, also of Leicester. Ferdinand von Aegir, Linhardt von Hevring, and Bernadetta von Varley of the Adrestian Empire, Her Royal Highness, Princess Petra Macneary of Brigid, and Lady Byleth Eisner, Acting Archbishop of the Church of Seiros._ **

Byleth heaved and felt her breakfast threaten to make a reappearance. Mercedes put her hand on Byleth’s belly, and she felt her nausea subside, but not her anger. 

"I have to get back to the monastery." Byleth said. 

"I'll go with you."

It felt like they ran all the way back. People called out to her in greeting as she walked from the gate to the Cardinal’s room, but she acknowledged no one. She walked in, where she knew Rodrigue and Gilbert would be and saw that Dimitri was there with them. All three looked up at her in surprise as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Byleth…" Dimitri looked at her. She was disheveled and hyperventilating. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"This happened." Byleth held up a pamphlet.

Dimitri did not know what she was talking about. Rodrigue looked just as confused, but Gilbert looked almost smug.

"Is that the announcement of Dimitri being named King?" Rodrigue asked. "Why is that upsetting you so?"

"Because that isn't the only thing in the announcement!" She yelled, glaring at Gilbert. She looked at the paper in her hand and read aloud. "We are excited to announce that King Dimitri, along with his wife, are expecting twin heirs to the Kingdom within the year!" Dimitri’s stomach dropped.

"Oh Gilbert...tell me you didn't…" Rodrigue looked at him. 

"I did what I had to do. For the future of the Blaiddyd family as well as Faerghus."

Dimitri stood up and held out his hand. She pushed the pamphlet into it and turned back to Gilbert as he read it. He could not believe the words he saw on the page.

"How dare you!" Byleth spat at Gilbert. "We told you we needed more time and yet you are still trying to enforce your will on us. I will tell you again since you seem too simple-minded to understand; I will not be forced into marriage. Not by anyone."

She turned back to Dimitri. She looked angry and hurt, everything he felt. He looked down at the paper in his hand, the words mocking him. "Why?" He asked, his voice full of gravel. "Why did you insist on going through with this charade of naming me your king if you are still going to treat me like a child and do things behind my back?!" He crumpled the paper in his hand and turned to Rodrigue. "Did you know about this?"

Rodrigue shook his head. "I didn't. When I saw the proof, I promise you that wording was not in there."

"Do not blame Rodrigue. I acted alone. You may not like it, but it is for the best." Gilbert looked at Byleth. "You will notice that I did not name you as his wife. That was intentional. If the two of you decide you do not want to marry each other, that is fine." He turned to Dimitri. "But you will be getting married. If not to Byleth, then to someone else we will choose for you. At your age, to be unmarried is to have a weaker claim to the kingdom."

Byleth scoffed. "And how will you explain it when this wife you choose doesn't produce the children you have already announced?"

"They will have the children." Gilbert looked Byleth in the eye, and then at her stomach.

"No!" She took a step back.

"Yes. I have tried to explain to you that marrying His Majesty is for _your_ protection as well, but you refuse to understand." Gilbert shook his head and looked at Byleth, not kindly. "Understand me now, Lady Byleth. Marrying Dimitri also protects your rights to your children. Any noble who bears an illegitimate child with a commoner has the right to take the children and raise them with the commoner in question having little rights to seeing their children. With royalty, His Majesty would have full custody automatically. You would have no rights at all." 

Byleth looked at Rodrigue. "Is that true? Can they be taken from me?"

"Technically, yes, but..."

She looked at Dimitri and he shook his head vehemently. "I would never. Byleth, you know I would not do that to you." She nodded at him and turned back to Gilbert. 

"But someone else could on your behalf."

"I would rather it not come to that. I prefer it if the two of you got married.” He sighed. “I am sure if you can both swallow your pride; you would prefer it as well. Take the time to think about it. If you do decide not to wed, or do not have an answer for me by the end of this moon, we will have no choice but to start searching for a suitable wife."

"We?" Dimitri asked, looking at Rodrigue. 

He shook his head. "My hands are as tied as yours now. That announcement has gone out to every corner of Fodlan and beyond. By the end of next moon, I doubt there will be anyone capable of reading it that won't have had the opportunity to do so. We will have to move fast if we end up having to arrange a marriage to someone else." Rodrigue sighed. "I'm sorry. Both of you. It should not have happened this way."

"No. It shouldn't have." She turned and walked toward the door. "I won’t be attending the meeting today. Have fun explaining why to everyone else."

Dimitri ran after her but was stopped before he could reach her by Rodrigue, who had run after him.

"Let me try talking to her, Your Majesty." Rodrigue patted him on the shoulder. "Do me a favor and don't go back in there. Go find Felix and spar, perhaps." 

Dimitri nodded. If being unmarried was going to hurt his claim to his throne, he was sure killing one of his advisors would not do him any favors. 

***

Byleth sat in the cathedral with her head in her hands, Sothis floating next to her. 

“How could this happen, Sothis?”

“ _He seems to be quite insistent that the two of you get married. Would it not be easier if you just did?”_

“It would get Gilbert off our backs, but it would not make things easier. We aren’t ready for marriage. Besides, he doesn’t want to marry me...and don’t you dare disagree with me about that!”

“ _Very well. If you want to lie to yourself to make yourself feel better about the fact that you are breaking each other’s hearts by being stubborn about this, be my guest. I have babies to attend to.”_

Sothis disappeared just as Rodrigue walked up to the pew where she was sitting. “May I?”

“Since when does anyone care about what I want?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Sit if you’d like, but I warn you I’m probably not good company right now.”

Rodrigue sat down next to her. “Oh, I’m used to the people I’m speaking to scowling and glaring at me. You’ve met my son.”

“I have.” She shook her head. “I always thought he was being a little unfair to Gilbert, but now I see he was right about him all along. He is an asshole.”

“Today I would be prone to agreeing with you. What he did was wrong. He should not have interfered in the first place, and he certainly should not have had that announcement sent out or given you an ultimatum.” He shook his head. “If he had just let you be, I think you would have given him what he wants eventually.”

“Rodrigue…” She looked at him. “Is it true? Will being unmarried hurt Dimitri’s chances of being king?”

Rodrigue nodded. “The people of Faerghus are very traditional people. The king and queen being a loving couple for everyone to admire has been a tradition for as long as Faerghus has been Faerghus. You have to understand that Dimitri has been looked to as the future ruler his whole life. He had to grow up and come of age surrounded by intrigue over who he would marry. Even though the royal family has always eschewed arranged marriages, poor Lambert was constantly receiving marriage proposals for him, as was Rufus after him. Most everyone knew though, that the Blaiddyds always marry for love, so it was a frequent topic of conversation among the people. They loved to speculate. What would the woman be like, the woman who would steal his heart and be their queen? The kings of Faerghus have always been _born_ to rule, but the queens of Faerghus have always been _chosen_ ; chosen for the king and the people to love. A Blaiddyd king is not a king without a queen.” 

“What if this war had never happened? He was due to be crowned after graduation from the academy and despite what those letters between you and Felix say, he was not engaged. Would he still have been expected to get married before being crowned?”

“Not before being crowned, but certainly within the year.” Rodrigue chuckled. “All of the current crop of noble heirs of the kingdom are old maids by our standards. Most are usually married by the age of twenty.” He shrugged. “The other nobles don’t have the same expectations that are on Dimitri. If he is to be king, he will need a queen.” Rodrigue looked at her. “More importantly, Byleth, if he is to be king, I believe he needs you. You need each other.”

Byleth sighed. “If he needs a queen, and for some reason it isn’t me…do you think Gilbert can force him to take the children from me?” 

“I would hope not, although Gilbert is correct in saying that he would have the right to do so.” Rodrigue shook his head. “The system is so broken in parts. It’s one of the reasons I always looked forward to Dimitri taking charge. He had so many ideas of things that needed to change as a child. He could not stand to see injustice of any kind.”

“That sounds a lot like the Dimitri I once knew.” She paused. “It sounds like the Dimitri I know now.”

“May I ask you something?” Rodrigue asked. She nodded. “You agreed to a courtship when he asked you years ago, and clearly at one point you were…” He looked down at her stomach and smirked, looking very much like Felix. “...very close. What changed?”

Byleth blushed. “I didn’t know what courtship was and neither did he. And... everything changed. It’s been five years.”

“But you love him.” He looked at her. “Or did that change as well?”

“Of course not.” She shook her head. “I don’t think that will ever change.”

“Then what is holding you back?”

“We aren’t ready. The first month, almost two months, that we were here, he hardly spoke to me except to tell me to leave him alone. We were both kind of a mess. We had only just progressed to the point where we can have a full conversation without one of us snapping. With more time, maybe we would have been ready to have the marriage conversation later, but we weren’t ready last week in Ailell. We aren’t ready now.” She shook her head. “And I, personally, will never be ready to marry him if it isn’t his idea.”

“Despite what you both may say, it seems to me like you do both want to be together.”

“I think technically we are together. There’s a difference between being together and being married.”

“So, is it just a matter of semantics?” Rodrigue scoffed. “That seems silly.” 

Byleth shrugged. 

"Have you ever read Loog and the Maiden of the Wind?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Weird change of subject, but no. I haven't. Ashe keeps telling me to, but I don't have a lot of time for recreational reading these days."

"That makes sense." He nodded. "If you were to read it, I suspect you'd find the main character seems a bit familiar. Perhaps it comes from Loog being his ancestor in real life, but His Majesty has always reminded me of Loog in that book, especially now."

"He was adorable and charming, yet aggressive and impossible to be around?"

Rodrigue chuckled. "Yes, actually. In the book, Loog is in love with the Maiden of the Wind. They spend the entire series of books dancing around each other and ignoring obvious signs the other is giving. They could have reached their happy ending together in the first book if they'd been paying attention."

"I thought it was an adventure story? With knights and stuff. That's what Ashe said."

"Oh, there's plenty of that. But love is an adventure too, right?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I suppose it has been so far. To be honest, I’d rather have a little less adventure in my life."

"Oh, but you two are just like Loog and the Maiden!” Rodrigue laughed. “You chase him, he runs away. He chases you, you run away. Sometimes you are both running away, but every time you get close to moving towards each other at the same time, one of you gets scared. If you could just get on the same page at the same time and stay there...there would be no stopping you. The Maiden of the Wind was the first Queen of Faerghus after all.”

She sighed and turned to study Rodrigue’s face. "How do you know all of that about Dimitri and me? You’ve been around us for only a week."

"I pride myself on my observational skills." He grinned. 

“Felix is too observant for my own good too.” She smiled at him. “You two are a lot alike.”

“I know. Just don’t tell him that unless you want a fight.” They watched the choir practice for a while. “You know, there’s nothing like getting married to get you on the same page…just ask Loog and the Maiden.”

She glared at him. 

“Alright, I’ll drop it, on one condition.” He picked up her hand and held it. “Read the book and think about it. Forget about Gilbert and his ultimatums. Think about yourself, think about Dimitri, and follow your heart.”

Byleth nodded and Rodrigue kissed her hand before standing up and leaving. “Follow my heart…”

“ _You know what that means? That means you listen to me, and I say go get married! Right now! Today!”_

Byleth laughed, stood up and stretched, and left the cathedral. It was about the time that the archers usually had their knitting circle. She needed to find Ashe and see about borrowing a book. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert is just...the worst. My beta would really like me to write him getting punched in the face by someone lol.
> 
> Part II of the Lone Moon coming soon I hope. I'm going back to work full-time this week so fingers crossed that I get enough writing time to make progress on the story and keep me sane. 
> 
> Leave me your comments, you know I love and cherish them!


	31. Love and War in Lone Moon, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth borrows a book and gets caught up in a story. Gilbert is shown the error of his ways. Dimitri and Byleth make a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late night update! Enjoy! Mangia! Bon appetit!

**_6th of the Lone Moon_ **

Byleth walked toward the courtyard in front of the old officer’s academy classrooms in search of the knitting circle. She heard the laughter coming from the group long before she spotted them. 

“Professor!” Bernadetta called out, as she was the one who spotted Byleth first. “Are you knitting with us today?”

“By!” Leonie patted the ground next to where she sat. “Come sit by me!” Byleth sat down next to Leonie and found it a little more difficult than normal to sit in her usual cross-legged position. She was also certain she would need help getting up.

“Huh. Something tells me my days of sitting on the ground are numbered.” Annette and Bernadetta giggled and Leonie patted her on her shoulder. Shamir handed her a yard skein, but Byleth shook her head. “I’m not here to knit today. I was actually just looking for Ashe.”

“Me? How can I help you, professor?”

“Stop calling me professor, for one.” She grinned at him and he blushed. “I was wondering if you had a copy of Loog and the Maiden of the Wind I could borrow. Rodrigue has insisted I read it...for war strategy reasons.”

Ashe scrunched his brow and cocked his head in confusion. “War strategy reasons?” Then a large grin appeared on his face and he chuckled. “I think he may not have been entirely truthful about why he wants you to read it if that’s what he said his reason was, but I’m sure it will be helpful for you, just the same.” He put down his knitting and stood up, still smiling. “I do have a copy, let me go get it for you!”

Byleth sighed as she watched him run off. Of course, Ashe would know the story inside out; it was his favorite book. No doubt she and Dimitri reminded him of Loog and the Maiden as well. It must have been why he was always after her to read it. 

“Weird that Lord Rodrigue wants you to read a story book.” Ignatz said. 

“Not that weird.” Bernadetta said. “We’ve traded book recommendations in our letters for a while now.”

“Lord Rodrigue is such a nice person.” Annette said. “I’m glad he’s here. Kind of livens up the place, you know. Most of the older men here are so serious, except for Alois. It’s nice to have another fun dad type around.”

“Your actual dad lives here, Annette.” Leonie pointed out.

She shrugged. “Yeah, but he's definitely not fun...or a dad-type really. Maybe it was all the years we spent apart, but I can’t picture myself just asking him for advice about something off the battlefield, much less something fun like a book recommendation.”

Byleth rolled her eyes at the mention of Gilbert. “Yeah, your dad is not my favorite person right now, Annette.”

“Ooh, I know that look from Felix. What did he do?” She asked. 

Byleth wasn’t sure she wanted everyone to know what was happening between her and Dimitri. As far as she was aware, the only people who knew about Gilbert’s idea were those present for the conversation in Ailell and Seteth. Mercedes knew about the announcement but not anything else. She hadn’t even told Leonie about it. They were all bound to find out about the announcement soon, but she didn’t feel like telling everyone the details now. They would probably all say she and Dimitri should just get married. Byleth already knew that. She wanted to marry him; she just didn’t want to be coerced into it. 

“Your dad...overstepped his bounds, by a lot. And to top it all off, he was rude about it and acted like he was doing me a favor by making decisions for me.”

Annette nodded. “Classic Gustave. I’m familiar with that tactic.” She frowned and crossed her arms. “Young lady, I am only doing what is best for you. You will thank me later.”

“Wow, you sound just like him.” Shamir said. “He did that to me when I first joined the knights. Said he didn’t like my attitude toward the church and signed me up for faith lessons without asking me. It’s like he has some sort of complex that renders him incapable of minding his own business.” She put her knitting needles down. “Speaking of which, can I ask you something Annette?” Annette nodded. “What happened between Felix and your dad? They can’t stand each other.”

"Well, Felix hates my dad because he abandoned me and my mom for dumb reasons, and my dad hates Felix because…" Anette looked at Bernadetta and they both giggled. “It’s a long story, but it started because I dated Felix and broke up with him. My dad never believed that I was the one who called it off because it happened the same night Felix and Sylvain left Fhirdiad. My dad was sure that his daughter would never have broken up with a future Duke, and he basically ignored everything I said when I tried to tell him what happened. My dad thinks Felix is nothing but a roguish playboy who ‘stole his daughter’s virtue’ and left the country.”

“Then Felix and I got together and that made it worse!” Bernadetta said. 

Annette nodded. “Yeah, you should have heard him. ‘First my daughter and now poor innocent Lady Varley? The scoundrel must be stopped!’ So, he has been rude to Felix for years, but they didn’t see each other very often, so it didn’t matter that Felix was rude back.”

“But now they have to see each other every day and I’m pretty sure it’s going to come to blows at some point!” Bernadetta said. 

“My money is on Felix.” Leonie said. 

“Mine too.” Ashe said from behind Byleth as he handed her the book. “I don’t know what we’re talking about but betting on Felix is usually a good idea.” He sat back down next to Annette. 

“We’re talking about Felix and Gilbert hating each other.” Byleth said. 

“Oh that.” Ashe laughed. “Yeah, I think I’d bet on Felix in that fight. No offense Annie.”

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “None taken, believe me. I’d pay to watch that. Maybe Felix could knock some sense into him. He makes me want to scream at him sometimes!” Annette said, shaking her head. “He just gets this crazy tunnel vision where he only sees what he thinks is right and no matter what anyone says or how wrong he might be he just barrels toward it no matter who he hurts in his wake!” Bernadetta put her hand on Annette’s hands, which had started shaking. “I’m ok, he just makes me so mad! His crazy way of thinking is what caused him to desert my mom and me all those years ago, it’s what caused this whole thing with him and Felix, it makes him think he can just walk all over everyone! I wish His Highness would just fire him! Teach him a lesson!”

“He doesn’t work for His Highness.” Shamir shook her head and looked at Byleth. “He works for you, _Your Grace_ , so technically, if you wanted to, you could fire him.”

Byleth blinked in surprise. It struck her that she had not actually considered that Gilbert was employed by the church. By the time Ashe helped her stand up and she thanked him for the book, Byleth had a half-formed idea in her head. She went up to the second floor, hoping that both Alois and Seteth were still in their offices. 

***

The conversation with Alois had gone even better than she hoped. He was the first person she told about what Gilbert had done who was indignant on her behalf. It wasn’t that he didn’t approve of Dimitri; Alois loved Dimitri because he was the only person who laughed at his jokes. He was upset because he knew that Jeralt wouldn’t stand for his daughter being bullied into making such a big decision and he was even more upset that Gilbert had disobeyed her. He agreed that Gilbert needed to be disciplined for what he had done. 

“It's obvious you two should get married, but this is insubordination, plain and simple!” Alois said, pounding his fist on his desk. “Gilbert is a Knight of Seiros, and you are head of the Church of Seiros. For him to disobey an order of yours is unacceptable!”

Byleth and Alois crossed the hall into Seteth’s office. She was worried that he would not agree with what she wanted to do, but after she told him what Gilbert had added to the pamphlets, he agreed immediately. 

“To suggest that you get married is one thing.” Seteth shook his head. “It is quite another to go against your wishes and announce that you are already married to the world! What was he thinking?”

Alois sent two knights to locate and bring Gilbert to them, while Byleth went upstairs to change. She’d been wearing her short black dress and cloak when she went into the village with Mercedes so she could blend in and avoid being swarmed by the faithful who had returned to town, but Byleth wanted to remind Gilbert of her status as Archbishop for this meeting. 

By the time the two knights brought Gilbert to the audience chamber, any passerby would have done a double-take and thought Rhea had returned. Byleth stood at the end of the hall where Rhea used to stand, dressed in a long ivory dress topped by blue and gold vestments. She had let her long hair hang freely down her back and was wearing a heavy golden diadem and lilies in her hair. Gilbert’s eyes widened when he saw her, but he appeared defiant as he took his place in front of where she, Seteth, and Alois stood. The knights who escorted him bowed and left the hall. Byleth turned her cold gaze to Gilbert. 

“Sir Gilbert, you have broken the code of the Order of the Knights of Seiros and have been summoned this afternoon to answer for your actions.”

His mouth dropped open. “I did no such-”

“I would advise you not to speak until the Archbishop has finished.” Seteth said, his face stern. He turned to Byleth. “Please continue, Your Grace.” 

She nodded at Seteth and turned back to Gilbert. “The code of the Knights of Seiros states that you are not to charge or act on your own without the express permission or order of your immediate leader.” She motioned to Alois. “You are also forbidden by the code to go against an order from any of your leaders. You seem to forget, Sir Gilbert - I am the acting Archbishop, so that includes me. When you brought me your idea in Ailell, I said no, very clearly. You disobeyed my wishes and acted of your own accord, despite what is clearly written in the code that you swore an oath to. What do you have to say in your defense?”

“I understand the charges.” He shook his head. “But my actions were not done in the name of the church, rather for the kingdom and its king.”

“You do not work for the kingdom or its king. If you did, we would be trying you for treason, since you went against your King's wishes as well.” She looked at Alois who nodded and stepped forward. 

“Sir Gilbert, the oath you have sworn is to the Church of Seiros.” Alois’ voice had none of its usual warmth and laughter. “The title and uniform you bear identify you as a member of our order and your actions undermine the sanctity of the order as a whole, as well as what it stands for. I am well within my rights as your commanding officer to recommend that you be stripped of your title and executed for going against the express wishes of the Archbishop and the King.” 

Gilbert looked at Seteth with his eyes wide. Seteth nodded. “I agree. Lady Rhea executed knights for far less. Even you will admit that if Lady Rhea had said no to your idea, you would not have dared to ignore her, Sir Gilbert. An order from Lady Byleth carries no less weight, the punishment should be no less severe.”

Gilbert went down on one knee. “I apologize, Your Grace. I acted rashly. I was only doing what I thought was right, but I should not have disobeyed your wishes. I have disgraced the Order and...and I accept my punishment.”

“Very well.” Byleth took a step forward. “Your sword please, Sir.” Gilbert pulled his silver sword from its scabbard and handed it to her. She noticed it was engraved with the Crest of Seiros on the hilt as she took it from him. Gilbert bowed his head. “Your Captain has recommended a sentence of execution for your insubordination and Seteth has advised the same be carried out on the basis of what Lady Rhea did in such cases in the past.” She raised the sword and Gilbert closed his eyes. Byleth took a deep breath and then brought the flat of the blade down on his shoulder gently. He looked up in surprise. “Luckily for you, I am not Rhea, and I have decided your punishment today is not death. But do not misunderstand me; this is not forgiveness - it is mercy. You will not lose your head or your title here today, Sir Gilbert, but this will be your only warning. Do not engage in this behavior again, I will not be so merciful a second time.” She held his sword back out to him. 

He took it with shaking hands. “I understand, Your Grace. Thank you.”

“Unfortunately, we will all have to live with the consequences of what you have done, and that includes you. Your punishment is as follows…” He bowed his head again. “You will retain your status as a knight and be allowed to fight on the field with the rest of your brethren, but you will be removed from the war council effective immediately. In addition, you are not to mention marriage again to either His Majesty, or to me. You will not push, or threaten, or try to convince either of us in any way regarding this issue. If we decide not to be wed to each other, you will have no hand in arranging, or any say in choosing his bride, as that is out of the scope of what a knight of this order is permitted to do. Any attempt to do either of those things constitutes a direct violation of my order and thus a forfeiture of your title and your life. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Your Grace.” 

“One more thing. Look at me.” Gilbert looked up at her and she held his gaze, pleased to see him cowed at last. “You will find His Majesty and you will apologize to him for what you have done. Seteth made a good point. You would not have dared to disobey Lady Rhea’s wishes, but you had no qualms about ignoring mine. I gather you would never have gone against King Lambert’s wishes either?” 

Gilbert shook his head. “No, I would not.”

“I thought not. If you truly swear fealty to Dimitri, if you want him to have the confidence to take his place as king, you would be well served if you started treating him like one. Give him the same respect you would have given his father.” 

“Of course, Your Grace. I will do as you ask. Again, I apologize.”

“Your apology has been noted. Sir Alois, can you please escort Sir Gilbert to wherever His Majesty might be? I’d start looking at the training grounds.” 

Gilbert stood, bowed to Byleth, and left the audience hall with Alois. 

Seteth exhaled loudly once they were out of earshot. “For a moment there I thought you were really going to cut his head off.”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider doing it for just a second. But he doesn’t deserve to die for being an idiot. If we start killing people just for disagreeing with us, what makes us any different than those we are fighting against?” She shrugged. “Besides, he needs to be alive to learn his lesson...and I didn’t really want to kill my friend’s dad even if he has been a terrible one.”

“I know you said you wouldn’t be good at being Archbishop, but I respectfully disagree.” He said as he followed her into her office. 

“I said I didn't _want_ to be Archbishop.” She smirked. “I never said I wouldn’t be good at it.” She reached up and took the diadem off, running her fingers over her sore scalp and wondering how Rhea managed to wear it all day. Her smile fell as she thought of what Seteth had said about Rhea. “Seteth, would Rhea really have executed Gilbert for doing something like this?”

Seteth nodded. “Without a doubt. Rhea ruled with an iron will. Any disagreement of her orders would be framed as pointing a sword at the goddess herself.”

Byleth frowned. “I don’t know if Sothis would agree with that...” She listened for Sothis’ voice, hoping she had something to say on the subject, but she was quiet. Byleth got an uneasy feeling in her chest as she carefully picked the lilies out of her hair and put them in a bowl on her desk. She ran her fingers over the soft petals and thought about Rhea ordering the deaths of Lonato and Miklan for crimes against the church. In Rhea’s place, would she have decided on a different course? “I don’t think I agree with that either.” 

“Well, you are the new Archbishop, and it is your will that matters in situations like this now. You spared Gilbert in a situation where Rhea would not have hesitated to enact her own justice. If you wanted, there are a lot of things you could change.”

She hummed in response as she struggled to take off the heavy vestments. “Would you change things from the way Rhea did them if you were in charge?”

Seteth stepped forward to assist her. “Rhea and I disagreed on a great many things, as you well know. She called me her advisor, but she kept her own counsel and followed no guidance from anyone but herself. She was stubborn, secretive, and combative; hardly an ideal diplomat in her dealings with anyone outside the church.” He chuckled as he managed to lift the heavy robe off Byleth’s shoulders so she could wiggle out from underneath it. "So, yes. I suppose I would change things if I were in charge; but I am not. You are.”

She moved and stretched her shoulders, happy to be free from the heavy weight of the cape. She watched Seteth hang it back up in the wardrobe full of other fancy capes and robes. “What if the first thing I changed was the requirement that the Archbishop be female, named you as my successor, and quit?”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that something you are seriously considering?”

She shook her head. “Just a hypothetical.”

“Hypothetically, I would be honored, and I would accept the duty.” He bowed and smirked at her. “Provided the former Archbishop promised to grant me her wisdom and counsel from time to time, obviously.”

“Obviously.” She picked _Loog and the Maiden of The Wind_ off her desk and looked at the picture of the knight on the cover. Loog. The King of Lions. Dimitri’s ancestor. The direct ancestor of her children as well. “I told Rodrigue and Dimitri I wouldn’t be at the war meeting today and I think I’ll stick with that decision. Will you let everyone else know, please?”

“Certainly.” He looked at her, his eyes full of concern. “Are you feeling unwell?”

“No, just tired. I’ve had enough excitement for one day.” She shook the book in her hand. “And Rodrigue gave me homework.”

She bid goodbye to Seteth and spent the rest of the day and most of the weekend in her room reading, leaving only for meals, and to track down Ashe to borrow the second book in the series when she finished the first. She let herself get lost in the story of Loog and the Maiden and thought about herself and Dimitri. The similarities were uncanny. Byleth found herself frustrated with the characters, at one point yelling aloud at them that they needed to just talk to each other and kiss already. She tried not to feel like a hypocrite when she did so. The second book ended with Loog and the Maiden still unable to communicate their feelings as Loog set off to fight a war against injustice and oppression, and Byleth had to stop herself from throwing the book off the balcony by reminding herself it wasn’t hers to throw. She would need to ask Ashe if he had the rest of the books in the series as well. 

Reading about Loog and his fight against oppression also made Byleth think about Rhea and the way that she had been running the church for the past thousand years. She wondered if there was any validity to the arguments that Edelgard was making regarding the corruption of the church and the systems it upheld. She wished she could skip the current chapter of her story with Dimitri and get to the part where they were in a good place, so she could try to talk to him rationally about what was going on in this war, but she knew she couldn’t. If she wanted to, she could skip all the other books in the Loog series and just read the last one, but there was no such skipping around in life. She and Dimitri would have to figure out what they were going to do, but before they did that, they would have to talk to each other. 

***

**_9th of the Lone Moon_ **

Manuela’s favorite patients were clearly out of sorts. Leonie had accompanied Byleth to her prenatal appointment, but Dimitri was not there. It was the first appointment he had missed since the first he attended. Byleth was quiet throughout the entire thing. Leonie mentioned that Byleth had been cranky since they returned from Ailell, but when Manuela asked her about it, she shrugged and said she didn’t think she was any crankier than usual. Dimitri showed up at the tail end of the appointment, just in time for counseling. Now they were both sitting in their seats, Byleth with her arms crossed, Dimitri’s posture defensive, and Manuela was having trouble getting more than a few words at a time out of either of them. 

“There is clearly something going on between you two.” Manuela looked back and forth at them. “What happened in Ailell?”

“Nothing interesting.” Byleth said.

“I doubt that. Leonie said you’ve been cranky since you got back.”

“I’ve been tired.”

“You also locked yourself in your room all weekend.” Manuela pointed out.

“I was reading.”

“Oh? What were you reading?”

Byleth glanced at Dimitri briefly and Manuela swore she blushed. She looked back at her. “The Loog and the Maiden of the Wind series.”

Dimitri gaped at Byleth. “Why are you reading that?”

Byleth shrugged. “Rodrigue.”

“Well, that solves the mystery of you being locked in your room all weekend, but not the mystery of what happened in Ailell. And don’t say nothing happened; something clearly happened to cause all this tension between you.”

“Now you’re mindreading.” Byleth said, smirking at her.

Manuela sighed. “This is getting us nowhere.” Manuela closed her notebook and clapped her hands twice. “Connection exercise. Face each other, foreheads together, and breathe. Seven breaths together.”

“Please no, we are so bad at that!” Byleth groaned.

“I agree. Can we do a different one?” Dimitri asked. 

“No. You struggle with this one because you are not on the same page. You are disconnected from each other. This will help you. Just remember the three Cs: connection, communication, and compromise.” They stared at her. “Now, please.”

They turned to face each other and got into position. Things fell apart quickly. 

“Why are you holding your breath?” Dimitri whispered.

“I was trying to figure out your breathing pattern so I could match it.” Byleth whispered back.

“I was trying to match yours. How can I do that if you are not breathing?”

“I can hear you whispering. Byleth, stop holding your breath. Start again and remember, no talking.” They were quiet for a while as they tried again, but Manuela could tell that they were both getting frustrated. 

Dimitri sat up. “Why do you breathe so fast? Are you alright?” 

“I don’t breathe fast. I breathe normally. You breathe way too slow. How do you even do that without suffocating yourself?” 

“My lungs are larger than yours I suppose.”

“This is hopeless.” Byleth turned to face her. “Can we stop?”

“For now, yes, but I want you to keep trying to get it. The fact that you find it so difficult is a symptom of a bigger issue.” Manuela opened her notebook again. “Go ahead and keep facing each other while we talk, now that I got you talking a little. Someone tell me about Ailell please.” 

“It was hot.” Dimitri said. 

“So hot.” Byleth shook her head. “And someone insisted on wearing his cloak and armor even though he knew it was going to be hot and he almost fainted.”

“Well, somebody else insisted on fighting when she knew she was not supposed to be fighting anymore, and she got injured.”

“You got injured?” Manuela asked. “Why didn’t you tell me that during your medical exam?”

“It was just an arrow in my arm. Lin healed it, no permanent damage.” She looked back at Dimitri. “I told you already, if I had not fought, Felix would have been outnumbered and killed and then I would have been outnumbered and killed immediately afterwards. By fighting together, we survived. Would you prefer it if we had died?”

“Of course not!”

“It would certainly solve our current problem if I were out of the picture.” 

Dimitri looked at Manuela. “Why is she allowed to say things like that, but when I express the fact that I will die in this war, I am being fatalistic, and she gets upset?”

“Because I was just being sarcastic when I said it and you usually aren’t.”

“Stop, both of you.” Manuela held up a hand. “Dimitri, you know very well what the difference is between those two statements. Byleth, I know you are naturally sarcastic, but it generally isn’t helpful in a therapeutic setting.” Dimitri looked down at his hands; Byleth huffed in annoyance. “So... what is this current problem you are talking about?”

Byleth looked at Dimitri. He nodded and she exhaled loudly. “Gilbert suggested, or no – Gilbert basically demanded that we get married and announce it to all of Fodlan for political reasons. Then when we said no, he announced it anyway. So now we are being forced to choose between an arranged marriage with each other or an arranged marriage between Dimitri and someone else, with the added bonus that I could lose custody of the babies if he marries anyone other than me.”

Manuela’s mouth dropped open. It was far worse than she feared. She was hoping maybe they had fought or something. A fight she could deal with. “Have you decided what you are going to do?”

“No.” Dimitri said. “We have not made a decision yet.”

“We haven’t really talked much about it.” She sighed. “We haven’t been talking much at all since we got back.”

“You haven’t been doing your homework?” They both shook their heads. “So, you aren’t talking to each other about this decision you have to make, and you figured you shouldn’t talk to your relationship counselor about it either?”

“We’ve been getting a lot of opinions.” Byleth said. “I’ve been hesitant to tell anyone else who doesn’t already know.”

Dimitri shook his head. “I must disagree with you. We have not gotten a lot of opinions. We have gotten one opinion multiple times from several different people.”

“And other than Gilbert, who might those people be?” Manuela looked to Dimitri.

“Rodrigue, Felix, and Sylvain.”

“Rodrigue and Felix. Seteth and Alois. Oh, and Sothis.”

“I see. Let me guess.” Manuela said. “Everyone is telling you to get married.”

“Pretty much.” Byleth said.

“And you thought I would tell you the same?” Manuela chuckled. “I know I give a lot of general advice here and there but... Byleth, in all the time you have known me, have I ever told someone what they should do when they are faced with an actual decision?”

Byleth was silent for a moment, then shook her head. “No. You usually give advice about both options and abstain when asked.”

“Thank you for noticing.” She smiled at them. “Not only am I not going to give you my opinion on what you should do, I am also giving you permission to ignore the opinion of everyone else who has given you one. The only opinions that matter here are yours. This is your choice."

“It does not seem like it is our choice.”

“He’s right.” Byleth said. “No matter what, even if he doesn’t want to, Dimitri still has to get married to someone.”

“That’s ridiculous. You can choose not to get married at all if that’s what you want. I’m sure nobody can really force you. I mean, I’d like to see anyone force you to do anything.”

“There will be consequences if I do not marry.”

“Any choice has consequences. You just have to figure out which ones you can and cannot live with.” She tapped her pen against her cheek. “Homework! For just this week, I’m going to give you permission to skip your teatime homework since you haven’t been doing it anyway. Go ahead and take a little bit of space from each other. I don’t want you to ignore each other, but I also don’t want you fighting about this. Take this week to think. I want you to each make a list of the benefits and consequences of each decision. Think about which benefits you want, which consequences you don’t think you can live with, and next week we will all come together and talk about what you have come up with. Can you do that?” She looked at them both and felt her heart ache for them. They had made so much progress and to be thrown this obstacle now could be disastrous to the foundation they had managed to build. She mentally added Gilbert to her list of people that she’d like to fight on their behalf.

“I can do that.” Dimitri said. 

“Me too.”

She dismissed them and left the infirmary, walking down the hall to Seteth’s office. His door was open, as usual. She knocked on the doorframe. He looked up from his paperwork and blinked at her. “Manuela, Come in. What can I do for you?”

She stepped in, closed the door behind her, and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “Well...you can tell me why you didn’t tell me about Gilbert trying to coerce Byleth and Dimitri into getting married.”

He grinned slightly. “I suppose the subject never came up.” He set his quill pen down and leaned back in his chair. “We’ve been rather busy talking about other things for the past few days.”

“That’s no excuse! Haven’t you ever heard of pillow talk?”

He crossed his arms. “I have asked you to tell me how they are doing in counseling and you told me you could not give me details.”

“That’s because of patient-physician confidentiality.” She held up her index finger. “It is vital to successful counseling that my patients feel that what they tell me will not be repeated.”

“Well, I suppose I did not tell you about the marriage issue because of Archbishop-Advisor confidentiality.”

“That’s not a thing.”

“On the contrary. I am quite sure Rhea would have cut out my tongue if I had dared to reveal any of her secrets to someone.” He laughed and held up his index finger. “It is vital to the success of the church that the archbishop feel that what she tells me will not be repeated.”

Manuela pursed her lips to keep from smiling. “You know, I’m not sure if this is going to work out between us after all.”

“Oh? That’s unfortunate.” He stood up and walked around his desk. He held out his hand and pulled her out of the chair and into his arms. “I knew our relationship would not last forever, but I was counting on a few decades at least; surely more than a week.” He raised her hand to his lips. “Poor Flayn will be so disappointed.”

She sighed and let herself melt into his embrace. “We mustn’t disappoint Flayn.” She pulled him in for a kiss. 

He pulled away from her lips and trailed kisses along her jawline. “I apologize for not telling you what was happening. I will attempt not to keep things from you from now on. It is a good sign that they told you what was going on, right?”

She nodded and sighed, pulling away and sliding back into the chair. “I can’t say anything about Byleth and Dimitri, my patients, but Byleth and Dimitri my friends? I feel so sad for them right now.”

Seteth nodded and kneeled next to the chair, taking her hand. “She has been a pouty mess every day. It’s all I can do to keep her distracted with work. And the war meetings? You can cut the tension between with a dagger.”

“I swear I’m going to punch Gilbert the next time I see him.” 

Seteth’s eyes brightened. “She didn’t tell you about what she did to Gilbert?” Manuela shook her head and he chuckled. “Allow me to tell you the story over a cup of tea.”

***

**_14th of the Lone Moon_ **

Byleth heard the cathedral bells ring three times and groaned. It was almost dawn and she was still awake. The war meeting the day before had ended almost a full twelve hours earlier and Byleth was still bouncing back and forth between seething and moping, and sometimes doing both at once. She’d tried to ignore her feelings and sleep, but she couldn’t. She kept thinking about Dimitri and every time she thought about him, she remembered that he was leaving in a few hours. She frowned, remembering how Rodrigue had talked at length about how this trip was going to help them shore up support in the Kingdom and how hopeful he was, all the while Byleth tried to catch Dimitri’s eye and he avoided her gaze the entire meeting. 

She gave up tossing and turning and sat up in her bed, wondering where they had gone so wrong. Dimitri was leaving for almost a fortnight in just a few hours and he did not even bother to tell her. He had known for a whole day and could not spare five minutes to let her know. She had to learn the news at the war meeting with everyone else. It wasn’t that him travelling to Charon was a problem; it wasn’t. The problem was that they were supposed to talk to each other about whether they should get married, and they couldn’t even have a conversation about something as simple as him going on a trip. 

“ _As often as you avoided each other lately, that should not come as a big surprise.”_ Sothis said, from her usual spot in the corner of Byleth’s chambers. 

“We haven’t been avoiding each other; we just haven’t spent much time together since Manuela gave us permission to skip homework and give each other space to think until our next counseling session, but now he won’t even be at the next counseling!” She sighed. “Besides, we’ve been busy. He’s been inundated with kingdom stuff and I’ve been swamped with working on the plans for the new orphanage...” 

_“Those are excuses, and you know it.”_ Sothis shook her head. “ _You are avoiding him, and you are avoiding making this decision because you know it will require you to say what you are feeling instead of keeping it buried. But what is so bad about admitting to the man you love that you want to marry him? Why not tell him you love him?”_

“Because I’m not the only one who has a say in this. And I’m scared that he doesn’t want what I want. If I tell him I love him and he doesn’t love me, he will feel even more obligated to marry me than he probably already does.” She sighed. “I can’t do that to him. I don’t want him to feel obligated to marry me.” She stood up, put on her glasses, and started to pace. “Rodrigue said that the kings of Faerghus have always chosen their queens. Now, Dimitri doesn’t get to do that. He either has to marry me, marry someone else he didn’t choose, or not get married and possibly hurt the chances of taking back his kingdom. Neither of us have had the right to choose much of anything for ourselves for the majority of our lives and he is essentially being robbed of the one choice he gets to make.” She stopped pacing and looked at Sothis. “I bet he wishes he had never gotten involved with me.”

“ _If you honestly believe that you are a bigger fool than I thought you were.”_ Sothis floated closer to her. _"Byleth…You are right; you have had truly little say in the way your life has turned out. A lot of decisions were made for you and a lot of choices taken from you, and His Majesty has had even less control over his life than you have. That does not mean this is not your choice to make now. You just need to choose and let the chips fall where they may."_

Byleth was prepared to argue but was interrupted by a soft knocking on her door. If she hadn’t already been awake, she wouldn’t have heard it at all. She slipped a robe on over her nightgown and opened the door to find Dimitri walking away from her.

“Oh…” He turned around at the sound of the door opening, looking sheepish. “I did not think you had heard my knocking. I was hoping I would not wake you but...”

“I wasn’t asleep.” She paused and waited for him to speak. He didn’t. “What’s going on?” 

“I... we are leaving for Charon in a few hours and…” He closed his eye and took a deep breath. “I did not want to leave without saying goodbye. I know things are strained between us right now, and I know the fault for that lies with me, but - I wanted to see you one last time before I left.”

“You make it sound like you won’t be back.” She crossed her arms. 

He sighed. “With the announcement that I have returned, travel in the kingdom is more dangerous, but I do not want you to concern yourself with my safety; I plan to return to...” He trailed off. 

“To the monastery?”

“To the monastery, and...to you. There is much we still need to discuss.”

She nodded. “I know. I hope we will have better luck discussing it when you return than we have so far. Perhaps we can take this time apart to think some more about what we want to do." She looked up at him and slowly reached up to brush his hair back. She was pleased that he leaned into her hand instead of flinching. “You stay out of trouble out there, ok.” He nodded and she stepped back and started to close the door. 

Before he could stop himself, his hand shot out and stopped the door from closing. He did not need to think about things. He knew what he wanted, he only needed to tell her. The fact that she still needed to think about things was troubling. Dimitri had prayed that she still loved him; that she would want to marry him. He had hoped she had enough lingering affection for him that she would rather marry him than see him be forced to marry someone else. He had assumed that at the end of this, she would agree to marry him, even if just for the children’s sake. He could not leave without saying something.

“No.”

“No, you won’t stay out of trouble?”

“No...” He shook his head. “No, I do not need more time to think. If you need to use this time to think, then please do so, but I do not need more time. I have thought of little else since Ailell. My decision has been made since the day we returned; it is your decision we are waiting for.”

“What do you mean?” Byleth took a step back from the door and opened it wider. 

“I agree to the marriage between us. This is not an ideal situation, but I agreed even before Gilbert’s announcement went out.”

“Did you tell him that?”

He shook his head. “I have not told anyone.”

“In counseling last week, you said you hadn’t made a decision yet.”

“I said _we_ have not made a decision yet. That cannot happen until you make yours.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I have been giving you space so that I would not influence you. I know you do not want to be forced into marriage; I have never wanted that either, but you need to know that...for the sake of our children, for you and your protection…not to mention all the stupid political reasons...I think we should get married.” 

Her mouth dropped open. He waited for her to say something. Instead, he noticed that tears began to glisten in her eyes. He had just told her that he thought they should get married and she was on the verge of crying. His heart sank. He spoke again before she could say anything.

“Byleth...I will be gone for thirteen days. Take that time to think if you need to. Once I return, we will only have a few days before the end of the moon. We have to let Rodrigue know what we have decided by then and we do not have much time. I cannot tell you what to decide, but you do need to make a choice.” 

‘I know.” She sniffed and his heart broke further. 

“This is all my fault.” He looked away from her. “Nobody would be forcing us to marry if I were not royalty, or not a noble at all." He shook his head. “Byleth, I have thought of every possible option and every consequence, just like Manuela asked us to...Being forced to marry a stranger that was chosen for me is a consequence I cannot live with. I know this is not what you want, but it is the only logical choice for me, and I believe it to be the right choice. I am sorry; please do not be angry at me for choosing to marry you.”

“I’m angry at this situation and the fact that you felt like you _had_ to make the choice you made...” She paused and looked up at him. “But I’m not angry at you for making it. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She reached for his hand and he intertwined their fingers and pulled her hand to his chest. 

He dropped his head down and mumbled into her fingers. “I am sorry all the same.” 

“Don’t be. You’re right. It is the only logical choice. I couldn’t live with myself if you had to marry some stranger when I could save you from that.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Dimitri…” He looked from their hands, still clasped together, to her eyes. “You can tell Rodrigue that I agree to the marriage.”

He brought his other hand up so that her much smaller hand was held between his two large ones. “Are you sure? You know that you can say no. You do not have to do this.”

She nodded. “I know. I’m choosing to do it.” 

“Thank you.” He dropped her hand and pulled her forward, embracing her as gently as he could. He felt her reach up and curl her hands into the fur of his cloak as she rested her head on the cool metal of his breastplate. It was official. They were engaged. Dimitri thought he would feel happy, or even relieved, but all he felt was empty. They talked in terms of logic; neither of them mentioned love. He considered whether he should just tell her he loved her. They were already engaged, what harm could it do?

 _“You know she only agreed to this out of a sense of obligation.”_ Glenn said. _“You heard what she said. She feels pity for you because she doesn’t want to see you have to marry a stranger. If you tell her you love her, she’ll run; I guarantee it.”_

“I should get going and you should try to get some rest. Goodbye, Byleth.” He placed a feather-light kiss on the top of her head, her soft hair tickling his cheek. “I will see you in thirteen days.”

She pulled away. “Bye, Dimitri. Please be careful.” 

He nodded, turned away from her, and walked down the hallway, the sound of the door to her room closing behind him echoed in his ears as his heart thundered in his chest. He hoped they had made the right decision even as his ghosts screamed at him that it was the wrong one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being back at work is kicking my butt and Byleth and Dimirti are not helping me by being stubborn! Byleth in this chapter was me "just kiss already!"
> 
> I also got really distracted this week by playing with Google Analytics and realizing that there are people ALL OVER THE WORLD reading my nonsense! My mind? Is blown. Thank you to all of you readers everywhere! Without you I would be shouting into the void and this would be a lot less fun. 
> 
> Everyone's comments on the last chapter reminded me why I love comments so much. I hope everyone who wanted to see Gilbert get punched enjoyed him getting his (non-physical) comeuppance as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	32. Love and War in Lone Moon, Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth receives a letter and news from Claude while Dimitri struggles in Charon. When he returns, the next move in the war is planned and Byleth and Dimitri set a wedding date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm pretty sure this is the longest gap I've had between updates! Sorry about that. Real life took up most of my usual writing time and when I did write, my brain only wanted to work on the chapter after this one. The good news is that means the next one is almost finished!
> 
> Thank you for your patience. As a reward, I may get the next update out a lot sooner than my usual week.

**_16 th of the Lone Moon_ **

Byleth looked down the length of the massive table in the Cardinal’s room and realized it looked a lot bigger when so many people were missing. She was already used to Gilbert’s old chair being empty after a week, but with Dimitri, Rodrigue, and Felix gone as well, their group seemed even smaller than it actually was when they were all spread out at such a giant table. She didn’t want to admit to herself that the main reason the table looked empty was because Dimitri wasn’t there. Since only six people were present for the meeting, Byleth suggested moving downstairs to one of the smaller tables in the reception hall and everyone agreed. Once they were situated with Seteth, Byleth and Petra on one side of the table, and Alois, Hilda, and Ferdinand on the other, Seteth called the meeting to order. Hilda immediately raised her hand when Seteth asked if there was any new business.

“So, I move that after today we cancel these meetings until everyone else gets back from Charon. We can’t really decide on anything important while they’re gone and honestly, we’re kind of in a holding pattern while we figure out what’s happening at Myrddin. Nothing is even going on for us to meet about.”

“I second.” Byleth said. Hilda had a point. The fact that the army was at a standstill until Count Gloucester responded to their inquiry was the only reason that Rodrigue had been able to convince Dimitri to make the trip to Charon at all. “Is everyone else good with cancelling meetings until the rest of the council gets back?” There were nods and sounds of agreement around the table. “Great. While we are on the subject, have you heard back from Lorenz, Hilda?” 

Hilda shook her head. “I’ve written him two letters. No response yet…. Oh, but wait, I do have something important!” She held up a finger then turned to rummage through her satchel. “I got letters from Claude this morning! I completely forgot!”

“Claude?” Ferdinand asked. “It’s been a while since we’ve heard from him.”

“He sent more than one letter?” Petra asked. “He must be saying a lot.”

“Ugh...I’m looking for them, hang on.” Hilda pulled out two letters and squealed triumphantly. “Found em!” She slid one of the letters, still sealed, across the table to Byleth. “Only one of the letters was for me; he sent a separate one just for you. You should be proud of me; I didn’t even read it.”

“Thank you, Hilda. I commend you for your restraint.” Byleth picked up the letter and turned to Seteth. “How do we start the process of granting her sainthood? I move to canonize Saint Hilda.”

“Ha ha, professor. Very funny.” Hilda tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Anyway, there’s three important things from Claude’s letter. One - he also wrote to Lorenz to try to get him to convince his father to see reason and join our side; but he didn’t respond. No surprise there.” She looked at Byleth. “Claude thinks that they haven’t responded because it was, he and I who wrote to Count Gloucester and he sees the Reigans and Gonerils as below him. Claude’s advice is that either you or His Majesty should write to Lorenz’s dad directly since he is such a sucker for power and titles and yours are higher than his. He would probably be so honored; he would be sure to reply. Even if it were just to say no, at least we would know where we stand.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Seteth said, taking notes. “What is the second important thing in Claude’s letter?”

“I’m getting there! This one’s good so I wanted to build up the drama a little.” Hilda appealed to Alois on her right. “You get it right? Good news? Big announcement!”

“Of course! You have every right to... _deliver the goods_...however you’d like.” Alois laughed as he looked around the table and was greeted by silence. He sighed and sat back in his chair. “I miss His Majesty already.”

“I’m sure you’re not the only one.” Hilda patted his arm and winked at Byleth. 

“Hilda...the second thing?” Seteth asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Right, so Claude talked to Judith and she said that since she and her troops are making their base in Ordelia, they will meet us at Myrddin whenever we go. Either they'll help us fight to take the bridge or celebrate negotiations with us! After that, they’re going to join us for the rest of our push to Enbarr. So, yay! More reinforcements!”

“That’s wonderful news!” Ferdinand beamed.

“It is...” Byleth nodded and looked at Hilda. “Um...who is Judith exactly?”

“You’re kidding right? Judith, the Hero of Daphnel? Leading commander of Leicester and overall badass?” Byleth shook her head and Hilda gawked at her. “How did you ever become a professor?”

Byleth shrugged. “Nepotism. Right Seteth?” 

Hilda giggled and Seteth just looked down at his notes. “Speaking of family connections, Petra, have we heard back from your Grandfather yet?”

“Not yet.” She shook her head. “But it is much more easy and fast to get messages to and from the Alliance than from Brigid.”

“Didn’t you say there were three important things in Claude’s letter?” Ferdinand asked. “What’s the third?”

“Oh, that. Claude says that once the bridge is secure, he’ll come back here to visit for a while and help us plan our next moves.” Hilda folded her letter back up and put it back in her bag. “You know he fancies himself a master strategist.”

“Claude will be staying here?” Petra asked. “Who will be looking after the Alliance?”

Hilda shrugged. “Who knows. He said he has a plan, which means he either has a plan or he’s going to make it up as he goes along. So, you know, hide the booze and all your secrets because either way the otter is coming back.”

“Otter?” Seteth asked, looking up from his paper, which was now covered in rectangles. 

Byleth waved her hand dismissively. “Claude is an otter; I’ll explain later.” Seteth went back to scribbling something in the boxes on his paper and Byleth squinted at it to try to read what he was writing.

“I suppose once Claude is back you will not be getting any _otter letters_!” Alois laughed.

“Seteth, what are you doing?” Byleth asked.

“Planning.” Seteth frowned at the page he was taking notes on. “With Claude and Judith arriving, not to mention her soldiers…” He shook his head. “The undergraduate student housing will be full once we add Judith’s troops to Rodrigue’s, and the Knight’s quarters are already full. The rooms on the lower floor of the officer’s academy dormitories are full too, with half of them at double occupancy. We will need to restore the upper floor of the officer’s academy dormitories before they arrive.”

Byleth gaped at Seteth. “We can’t afford that right now. We had that on the “after the war is over” list of things to get done.” 

“We certainly can’t afford it without cutting something big. We already paid for the cathedral roof restoration, and work began this morning so we can’t cancel that if we want it finished before the rainy season starts next month. I am afraid this will mean delaying the building and opening of the orphanage.”

“No.” Byleth shook her head. “There has to be another way.” She pulled Seteth’s map in front of her. “Maybe if we move people around a little?”

Hilda nodded as she doodled on the back of her note page, her map far cruder than the one Seteth had drawn. “If Lysithea moved to Lin’s room, and I moved to Caspar’s, that would free up our room for Judith…”

“That could also be accomplished if Caspar and Linhardt were to share a room.” Seteth pointed out. 

Hilda rolled her eyes at him. “I guess.”

Ferdinand looked at Hilda’s map and pointed. “Mercedes moved in with Marianne to free that room for Lord Rodrigue. He is in the room next to His Majesty now.”

“Oh right, I forgot about that.” Hilda made the changes on her map and bit her lip. She sighed and looked at Byleth. “There is one another way to get an extra room for Claude.”

Byleth looked down at Seteth’s map. “The only other single occupants are Petra and Ignatz.” She looked at Petra. “I don’t think you want to share a room with Ignatz, do you?”

“I am not knowing him very well.” Petra looked resigned. “There is another way?”

“Don’t worry Petra; there is another way!” Hilda pointed at Byleth’s old room on her map. “Your old room, where His Majesty is staying. That room would be empty for Claude if the king moved to your room, professor.” Hilda raised an eyebrow at her. Byleth shook her head. “Come on, according to that announcement that went out, you guys are married. It’s weird that you don’t sleep in the same room.”

“We aren’t actually married yet, Hilda.”

“Wait a moment.” Seteth crossed his arms. “You are not married, _yet_? As in, you plan to _be_ married? When did that happen?” Seteth asked.

Byleth sighed. “We decided to get married just before they left for Charon. I don’t want to talk about it.” She looked back down at the dormitory map. “I’m not even sure when a wedding will actually happen. Now that we made the decision, we don’t have to rush the actual wedding part, but if it happens before Claude comes, then sure. I guess he can have that room.”

“Why wait?” Hilda shrugged and looked down at her map. “None of these other people sharing rooms are married either, except for Leonie and Raph, and only Felix and Bernie are engaged.” 

Ferdinand shook his head. “Petra is also engaged.”

“That totally doesn’t count; her fiancé isn’t here!” Hilda rolled her eyes at Ferdinand and pointed at Petra. “But if your foreign prince ever showed up for whatever reason, he would be able to bunk with you and there would be no scandal there, right?”

Petra shook her head. “He would not be staying with me; it is not allowed. There would be many scandals if we were sharing a room before marriage.”

Hilda looked back at Byleth. “Ok, but...it’s not like you and His Majesty aren’t doing things out of order anyway. I don’t see the harm in him moving in early if we need the space. Your room is huge; you can fit a whole second bed in there if you don’t want to share yours.”

Byleth blushed. Seteth cleared his throat. “It is not a matter of sharing beds. As Archbishop, it would be improper for Byleth to share a room with her fiancé before they are wed. In the thousand years that the church has existed, the Archbishop has not shared her quarters unless she has been married. It simply cannot be allowed.”

“Even though she’s already pregnant, and most of the world thinks they’re already married?”

“I don’t make the rules.” Seteth shook his head and Byleth had to keep from smiling. She was sure that Seteth was making up that particular rule since Rhea, even as Seiros, had never been married. “I am sure we can figure out something. If necessary, we can always have Claude and His Highness share a room.”

“I’d love to be a fly on the wall if that ever happens.” Hilda giggled.

“If there is nothing else, I think we can call the end of the meeting.” Seteth said. Everyone started to disperse. Byleth went upstairs to her office and pulled out Claude’s letter. 

**_Dear Teach,_ **

**_Or should I say Your Grace? Seems like you picked up a nice new title since I last saw you, not to mention a few other new things if my suspicions are correct. I hear many congratulations may be in order._ **

**_I was reading the announcement about Dimitri being named King (which I already knew, thanks to my spy) but I was surprised to read about his wife. I didn’t even know he had a wife! Clearly, my spy is either lacking in their ability to find out information, or they are just not telling me everything. I may have to install a second spy to report on my first one._ **

**_Either way, I know for a fact that Dimitri would never marry anyone who isn’t named Byleth Eisner, and my spy has told me that the two of you seem to be awfully close, so I’m guessing that his mysterious wife/queen is you. So maybe I should call you Your Majesty instead of Teach? I do wonder when your happy union took place though._ **

**_When I left Garreg Mach you two were hardly speaking to each other. He wasn’t speaking to anyone really. So, you can imagine how hard my jaw hit the floor when reading that the wife nobody knew Dimitri had, was pregnant._ **

**_Here’s the thing Teach, I very heavily suspected that you were pregnant when I left Garreg Mach a few months ago. I didn’t say anything because you were working so hard to seem inconspicuous, but I noticed the sickness, the not drinking, the moodiness, the afternoon naps. It all added up to the one thing that my spy confirmed a while ago. You’re going to have to explain something to me though, because I’m confused about your timeline. There are only a few ways this could have gone:_ **

**_Option 1: You weren’t asleep all that time, you were just missing for a while. Sometime in the last few years, even though you were both supposed to be dead, the King found you and you got married and you’ve been in hiding ever since. You got pregnant and decided this was the time to take back the kingdom. You already knew Dimitri was hiding out at Garreg Mach when I found you, because you were hiding there with him. The problem with this scenario is that you two looked extremely uncomfortable around each other when we reunited and we both know Dimitri isn’t a good enough liar to have convinced me that you haven’t been together all this time if you really were. So, Option 1 is out._ **

**_Option 2: You really were asleep for five years. You reunited with Dimitri the same day you reunited with me. You were not pregnant when I left, just acting weird because you were asleep for so long. Somehow, even though Dimitri was being an ass, you managed to wed and bed him sometime after I flew home, and you are pregnant now. This is more likely since we know that no matter how much of a mess Dimitri is, or was, he is obviously still nuts about you and would marry you in a heartbeat no matter how unhinged he might have seemed. I don’t like this option either though because, and I’ll say it again, you were obviously already pregnant when I found you puking in the river that morning we reunited. That means Option 2 is also out. _ **

**_Option 3: You really were asleep for almost five years, but you woke up a few months earlier than you say. You were pregnant when I found you because when you woke up you heard that the Prince had been executed and you had a hot affair with “the man who fished you out of the river” in your grief. Since then, you and the King made up and got married and he is going to raise that other man’s children as his own. This still doesn’t explain when you got married. Option 3 is obviously no good._ **

**_That means we are out of options Teach. There is a story here and I want to know what it is! As your oldest and dearest (and handsomest) friend, won’t you indulge me when I ask: How? When? Why? Well, we know why and how, so really just WHEN?_ **

**_Hope to see you soon and get that story! If you are asking yourself why you might see me soon, please find Hilda and ask her for the details because this letter is already too long._ **

**_With love and boundless curiosity,_ **

**_Archduke Claude von Reigan_ **

**_P.S. Actually there is an Option 4: Dimitri is married to someone else and she is pregnant. Whether you were asleep for five years or not is irrelevant and you also being pregnant is a coincidence. I don’t like this option for multiple reasons. Chief among them, I don’t believe in coincidence. Also, this option requires both of you to have been with other people and I just don’t see that happening. You know what, never mind, Option 4 is out too._ **

Byleth laughed out loud and pulled out a piece of paper to send Claude a quick response taking great care not to put any information in the letter that might be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands. 

**_Dear Claude,_ **

**_You know I hate stuffy titles, both old and new. Just call me Byleth._ **

**_You are right about some of your suspicions, but not others._ **

**_You do not need to fire your spy (Hilda, I presume) for not telling you that Dimitri was married, because nobody heard about that until after the announcement went out._ **

**_I will neither confirm nor deny any of your suspicions, but I will tell you that none of your scenarios comes even close to the truth. I realize this answer will only pique your curiosity more, but you’ll just have to wait to get the story of Dimitri’s wife and children when I see you in person._ **

**_I am also afraid I must inform you that:_ **

**_My oldest friend (in terms of age) is Manuela_ **

**_My oldest friend (in terms of time) is Leonie_ **

**_My dearest friend is a three-way tie between the above two and Felix_ **

**_My handsomest friend is a tie between too many people to name (but you are included)_ **

**_I hope to see you soon!_ **

**_Your weirdest and most mysterious friend,_ **

**_Byleth Eisner_ **

She sealed the letter and put it aside. There was another letter she was going to have to write and it would take a lot longer for her to compose it than the silly response to Claude. She only hoped Claude was right about Count Gloucester being charmed enough by her new title and position that he would respond favorably. With Judith’s reinforcements, the push to Enbarr seemed less like a suicide mission. If they were able to gain control of the Great Bridge of Myrddin without a fight, the war looked almost winnable.

***

**_18 th of the Lone Moon_ **

After a day of travel and four days of meeting with the heads of many of the lower noble houses of Faerghus, Dimitri was exhausted. It was not that the meetings were going badly, on the contrary, the meetings were going very well. The issue was that he did not feel prepared for the conversations he was expected to take part in, or for any of the expectations that were becoming clear with every lunch or dinner with another nobleman. It did not help matters that every single person he met with asked him about his wife.

More than once Rodrigue jumped in and rescued him from those lines of questioning by making an off-hand remark about Dimitri being private and not speaking much about his personal life. Rodrigue was not far off the mark. Dimitri was not sure he would be all that much more forthcoming about his personal life even if it were better. He had to remind himself it was not that bad. Byleth had agreed to the marriage at last, even if reluctantly, so it could be a lot worse.

"Hey, boar!" Felix called out to him. He and Sylvain had entered the training grounds. It was where Dimitri could be found most of the time that he was not being forced to wine and dine with people, and where he had met up with his friends nightly since their arrival in Charon.

Dimitri said nothing but looked up and nodded at them both. He stood up, grabbed his training lance, and held it behind his back, stretching his arms.

"Sorry we're a little late Your Majesty." Sylvain said with a smile as he looked over the training weapons. "Felix was giving the messenger a letter for Bernie."

"Like you didn't give him one for Ingrid." Felix scoffed, picking up two short training swords and spinning them. "I'm going to work on dual swords tonight, I think."

Dimitri nodded but Sylvain groaned. "Cut us some slack Felix. We have another week here; you don't want to injure your only decent sparring partners."

“I can just heal you.” Felix shrugged. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t sent a letter to your girl.” Sylvain said, throwing an arm around Dimitri’s shoulders with a laugh. “You know, now that she finally agreed to marry you.”

Dimitri frowned and pushed Sylvain back holding his lance in front of him. “It has only been five days. Why would I send her a letter?”

Sylvain shrugged and spun his lance in circles, looking for an opening that Dimitri was making sure he would not find. “Maybe because you miss her?”

Dimitri grunted as he thrust a hit toward Sylvain’s leg, which he blocked. “I do not miss her. I was without her for five years; five days is nothing.”

“That’s a lie, why else would you be moping around so much?” Felix asked, stepping closer, one sword was pointed at each of them. 

Sylvain sighed and turned to block a strike from Felix as Dimitri did the same. 

“I am not moping.” 

“You totally are.” Sylvain said, trying to drive Felix back. “If it isn’t about Byleth then what is it?”

“Nothing!” Dimitri’s crest activated and his push broke his training lance and sent Felix toppling backwards. He tucked into a roll and sprang back to his feet with a scowl. He glared at Dimitri and started swinging blows at him, completely ignoring Sylvain. Dimitri was using the two halves of his broken lance to block the attacks from Felix’s swords as best as he could. 

"Nothing, huh?" Sylvain leaned on his lance and watched them spar. “Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that you aren’t in a bad mood because you miss Byleth. Why else might he be upset, Felix? You’re the observant one.”

Felix sighed. “It doesn’t matter why he’s upset.” He turned to Dimitri, slashing down with both swords. “It doesn’t matter why you’re upset. Whatever it is, either talk about it or forget about it because it’s getting in the way of your sparring ability, not to mention your ability to dance for these noble assholes we are trying to win back over to our side.” He managed to knock one of the broken lance pieces out of his hands. “And you heard Sylvain, we have another week of awkward dinners and talks to get through, so you need to get over it quickly.”

Dimitri took a step back and waved at Sylvain, who took his place against Felix while he walked over to get a new lance. Dimitri had to admit to himself that he did miss Byleth but missing her was not the main reason for his sour mood. He walked back over to where Sylvain was struggling against Felix and slammed the lance over both of Felix’s swords, pinning them between his lance and Sylvain’s. 

“I do not think I should be King.”

Sylvain turned to him. “I’m sorry, what?” 

Felix shook his head. “You can’t say shit like that! What if someone hears you?”

“You told me to talk about it.”

“But you were born and raised to be King. If not you, who else could it be?” Sylvain asked. 

“Perhaps nobody.”

“So, give up? Just let Cornelia keep driving Faerghus into the ground?” Felix pressed him. "That's what you're suggesting?"

“No... I just. I do not know if I am cut out to do this anymore. I may have been prepared to take my place as king once, but those days are behind me. I do not have the right to sit upon my father’s throne.”

“You have more right to the throne than Cornelia does.” Sylvain said.

“Yeah. Birthright, you idiot. Your father’s throne is in Blaiddyd Castle in the territory of Blaiddyd. It’s literally your name.”

Dimitri shook his head. “You do not understand. The things I have done…”

“The things you’ve done, we’ve all done. This is war and we all did what was needed to survive.” Felix interrupted. “I may have called you a boar once because I thought you killed with too much skill to not enjoy it. I have killed more than my share of people in the last five years and I’m sure it looked like I enjoyed it too.”

“You still call me a boar.”

“That’s more of a habit than anything else.” Felix said. “You aren’t so bad.”

“High praise there Felix.” Sylvain laughed. “Good to know we can count on you to be sentimental when a friend is having an emotional crisis.”

“I am not having a crisis.” 

“It’s not like he needs me to hold his hand or something. Give me a break.” He turned to put his swords back on the rack. “Besides, it’s going to take a lot more than sentimentality to help this fool deal with his issues.”

Dimitri wanted to reply that he did not have issues, but even he knew that was not true. Even so, he felt his anger begin to rise. “I do not need sentiment from either of you. You asked me what was wrong. I told you. If you do not want to know, next time do not ask me.”

“You may not need the sentimentality, but you’ll still get it from me, buddy.” Sylvain grinned. “You are the King now, whether you like it or not, and call me crazy…”

“Crazy." Felix mumbled. 

“...but I think you’ll be a great one.” Sylvain clapped Dimitri on the back, and he felt his anger dissipate slightly. “I’ve told you before; you’re a fighter. You can do this, and as Margrave, I’ll probably be there to support you a lot sooner than I’d like.”

“Why?” Dimitri asked. “Is your father ill?”

“Nope. Not unless being old and cranky is an illness. He’s just waiting for me to get married so he can retire and give me his title.”

“Your father wants to retire? That’s unheard of.” Felix shook his head. “My dad would never dream of such a thing.”

Sylvain nodded. “My dad is older than yours though. This war, plus all the never-ending disputes and issues with Sreng...the last few years have taken a lot out of the old goat. He says he’s too old to deal with all these problems anymore and if Dimitri here is taking his place as King, then it’s time for me to take my place too.”

“He is just waiting for you to get married so he can quit?” Sylvain nodded. “Is that why you haven’t proposed to Ingrid?”

“No, that’s not why. I have the ring already. I’m just waiting for the right time.” Sylvain laughed. “To think, you two are both engaged before me! Life really is a mystery sometimes.”

“Not that much of a mystery. Once upon a time I thought that you would never settle down with anyone.” Dimitri said.

“Yeah, who would’ve guessed it would be Ingrid who would finally set me straight.”

“Me.” Felix shrugged. “If we’re done training, I’m going to get a bath and go to sleep. I’m not up for sitting around discussing our relationships and braiding each other’s hair.”

Sylvain threw his arm around Felix as they all walked out of the training grounds together. “Oh, come on Felix. You would look so cute with braids in your hair!”

Dimitri was torn. Part of him wanted to be excited and hopeful for the future. With Rodrigue and Sylvain on his side officially, and Felix unofficially, he might be able to pull off being King and helping his people, which he always dreamed of doing. He would have Byleth on his side as well. He thought of the throne room back in his home and the smaller seat to the right of the throne that would be his. He wanted nothing more than to see Byleth sitting in it. 

On the other hand, as his father's voice was quick to remind him any time he thought too much about the future, Dimitri was sure he would not be King for long. Taking the title and playing the part was just a means to an end. The end of Edelgard, the end of the war, and most likely the end of his wretched life. Dimitri realized he needed to convince Byleth that they should get married sooner rather than later. He wanted her to be fully protected if his end came even sooner than he expected. 

***

**_20 th of the Lone Moon_ **

With the war meetings on hiatus, Byleth was free to enjoy herself by helping Mercedes with the orphanage plans in town. She had walked through the chosen building with Mercedes, Annette, and Ashe for the last couple of hours and they made notes of things that needed to be fixed, while also jotting down ideas of what facilities they wanted to put in place for the children. Byleth was adamant that she did not want the orphanage to be just a sad place where they housed children and gave them a place to sleep and eat. Sleeping and eating were important, but she wanted to make sure their other needs were taken care of as well. Mercedes heartily agreed. They exited the building and Ashe walked over to the side of the building where the shop next door had been irreparably damaged. 

“If we clear out this rubble, we can make a nice space for the children to play, maybe even plant a garden with vegetables and fruits.” Ashe suggested. “That way the kids can learn about gardening and have a supply of food to learn to prepare simple meals.”

“That’s a wonderful idea Ashe.” Mercedes said as she drew in a yard with a garden on the makeshift map she was making. “Once the coffers build up again, we might even be able to build a small greenhouse.” Ashe and Annette started planning out what should be where in the yard.

“We can even put a small training ground out here.” Byleth smiled then frowned immediately afterwards. 

“Do you not like the idea for a training ground after all?” Mercedes asked. 

Byleth shook her head. “I love the idea. Dimitri and I used to train with the orphans that were here years ago, and they loved it. It isn’t that.” She grimaced again. “I just don’t feel right. I think maybe my breakfast is not agreeing with me. I’m feeling some rumbling in my stomach.” She turned to Mercedes. “Could it be gas? Food poisoning?”

Mercedes cocked her head at Byleth and squinted her eyes. “No... I don’t believe you are ill in any way.” She stepped closer and put her hand on Byleth’s stomach. “You’re sixteen weeks along?” Byleth nodded and Mercedes smiled. 

“I think what you are feeling is the babies moving.” Mercedes pressed her hand more firmly against her. “I can’t feel anything, physically, but I can feel their energy. I believe they may be highly active in there. I am certain that is what you feel.” Mercedes giggled. “Perhaps they heard you talking about training the children and want to get in on the action.”

Byleth bit her lip and concentrated on the feeling as they began the walk back to the monastery. It wasn’t painful or unpleasant, just strange. It felt almost as though she was being tickled from the inside, little fluttery movements that made her picture that her stomach was full of butterflies instead of babies. It made everything so much more real. She knew, in an abstract way, that she was carrying her children, but until she felt them move, it didn’t really hit her. She was carrying two living beings. Two little people that wouldn’t exist if she and Dimitri had not fallen in love five years prior and acted on those feelings. Even though things between them were tense recently, she still wished he were there to share in the moment with her. 

At the thought of Dimitri, Byleth sighed. It had only been a week, but for her, it was the longest they had ever gone without seeing each other since they met. Even after her return when they weren’t speaking, she could still go see him in the cathedral if she wanted, and she often did. She missed him. She tried not to think about how much Dimitri must have missed her in the five years she was gone. Mercedes removed her hand from her stomach and patted her on the arm. 

“I know you’re feeling sad, but he’ll be back soon enough.”

“How do you always know…”

Mercedes smiled. “I just know. I try not to pry most of the time, but since I was touching you, I could feel what you were feeling more clearly.”

“It would be nice to have that ability sometimes.” Byleth said, thinking about Dimitri and how she could never really tell what he was feeling. “I’m sure it would come in handy to help solve relationship disputes if you could feel what the other person was feeling.”

“It can make some situations easier.” She looked at Byleth slyly. “None of that uncertainty of not knowing if someone feels the same as you do about them, but it can also be a burden to feel all of the negative things; hurt, anger, resentment, fear, insecurity - I feel all the emotions as though they were my own. It is especially hard to know for a fact that your partner is hurting and knowing that they are choosing not to share that with you. So being an empath can hurt a relationship just as much as it can help.”

“Is that why you are not in a relationship, Mercedes? Why you decided to dedicate your life to the church instead?”

She nodded. “It’s one of the reasons.” 

“What are you two talking about over here?” Annette caught up to them, Ashe in tow, as they reached the monastery gates.

“Byleth just felt the babies move for the first time.” Mercedes said, and Byleth was grateful she didn’t mention the other part of the conversation.

“That’s amazing!’ Annette put her hand on Byleth’s stomach. “Are they still moving?”

Byleth nodded. “It will probably be a while before anyone other than me can feel them though; it’s pretty faint right now. Although if Rodrigue is right, that won’t last very long. I’m not looking forward to getting my ribs broken.”

"You're going to have your ribs broken?" Ashe asked, his eyes wide. "Why?"

"Not on purpose." Byleth smirked. "Dimitri broke his mother’s ribs a few times when she was pregnant with him and there was only one of him in there, and his crest is minor, these two have major ones."

“Gosh, that sounds terrible.” Annette pouted. 

“Crest of Blaiddyd.” Byleth shrugged. “Dimitri’s mother survived it though, so I’m sure I’ll be fine. It's kind of exciting to feel them move actually.”

“It’s almost dinner; we should make a special meal to celebrate the momentous occasion!” Ashe said. “Are you craving anything in particular?”

“Well, I really liked those handheld pies you made last week, Mercedes.”

“Ooh, yeah those were good.” Annette said. “The apple ones were my favorite.”

“I can make them again; they’re fairly easy to make. You want to have dessert for dinner?”

“No. I was thinking; what if we stuffed them with something that wasn’t as sweet?” Byleth asked. “Like tomatoes, maybe? I can’t stop eating tomatoes.”

“You want a pie filled with tomatoes?” Mercedes asked.

Byleth nodded. “Yes. Onions too. Oh, and cheese!” Byleth’s stomach growled. She hadn’t noticed how hungry she was. 

Annette grimaced. “That doesn’t sound very good.”

Ashe shook his head. “We might be able to make it work if we cut the sweetness of the dough and add some other spices. It sounds like a fun challenge! A savory pie - It could be delicious.”

“Or it could be gross, but either way it will be a fun experiment!” Annette said with a laugh. 

Once they reached the kitchen Byleth and Annette sat and watched while Mercedes made the dough, taking Ashe’s advice to cut most of the sugar from the recipe. Meanwhile Ashe had chopped some tomatoes and onions and had them simmering in a pan while he added garlic, basil, and oregano. It smelled delicious. 

“I think you might be onto something here, professor.” Ashe said while stirring. He pulled the spoon out and brought it over for Byleth to taste it. “What do you think?” 

Byleth took the spoon and tasted the tomato filling. “I think I may not eat anything else but this ever again.” 

Ashe grinned and held the spoon out to Annette so she could try it. She looked skeptical at first but lit up after she tasted it. Together, the four of them took the circles of dough Mercedes had carefully rolled out and put in the tomato and onion filling with a handful of cheese and folded the dough over on itself to make a dozen half-moon shaped pies. Mercedes put them in the oven. After only a few minutes, the smell coming from the oven made it clear that their experiment was going to be successful. By the time they were all sitting in the dining hall eating the pies, Ashe and Mercedes were coming up with all sorts of variations for the filling that they could make, and the current recipe was a hit with everyone who tried them.

Byleth noticed that once she started eating the babies started to move around more. Clearly, they were also fans of the pies. She took a bite, and the melted cheese came out in strings. Byleth thought that Dimitri might like them as well, since he would enjoy all of the different textures. She made herself a mental note to ask Mercedes and Ashe to make them again once everyone returned from Charon.

***

**_26 th of the Lone Moon_ **

Byleth was anxious. She knew Dimitri and the others were supposed to return from Charon that day, but not knowing what time they would arrive, she was on edge all morning. She figured if they left at first light, they should be there by late afternoon or early evening. She sat in her office, drinking a cup of tea, and trying not to worry about anything that might happen to them on the road. She knew he would be fine. It wasn’t like her to worry. She blamed the pregnancy hormones. A knock at her door made her look up to see Cyril standing in the doorway to her office. 

“Just wanted to let you know the King and everyone else are back. Just saw em putting the horses back in the stables.” Cyril bowed to her. 

“Thank you, Cyril.” She started to stand, and he rushed over to give her his hand to help her up. “I can still stand up on my own, you know.”

He shrugged. “I know.”

Byleth smiled as he walked down the stairs and out of the building. She knew she had missed Dimitri, but she hadn’t realized how much she wanted to see him again. She stood just outside the reception hall and her eyes found a figure across the bridge at the doors to the cathedral. It was him. She moved to head across the bridge to greet him. 

“Hey, professor.” Sylvain called out to her as he ran up to meet her. “I would maybe give him a little bit of space. He had a rough trip.”

“Rough?”

Sylvain nodded. “There were a lot of meetings with a lot of nobles who all had a lot of questions, conditions, and expectations of him. Honestly, I’m shocked he didn’t blow up at anyone, and that’s not even mentioning the fact that it was raining when we left Charon, so we all got soaked for the first two hours of the trip back.”

“That all sounds horrible.”

“It was.” Sylvain crossed his arms. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure he missed you. He’s probably a little moody right now though.”

Byleth nodded. “Thanks for the heads up. How are you faring?”

“Oh, I’m fine as usual.” He grinned. “It will take a lot more than some rain to get me down, but I am going to go find Ingrid and milk the situation as much as she’ll let me.”

“I would expect no less from you.” Sylvain waved good-by and headed in the direction of the dormitories. Byleth looked back across the bridge at Dimitri and wondered if she should go to him or follow Sylvain’s advice. 

_“You know which of the two you want to do.”_ Sothis said. 

Byleth crossed the bridge. She made sure to make noise as she approached so she would not startle him. He didn’t turn back to look at her, but she knew by the way that he tensed up that he heard her coming. She stood next to him and followed his gaze to where the stonemasons were still working on the ceiling. 

“Welcome back.”

“Thank you.” They were silent for a while before he spoke again. “What is happening in there that the cathedral is closed?”

“Roof and ceiling repair.” They watched the work continue. “You haven't been spending much time in there lately. Is there a specific reason you were wanting to go in now?”

He shook his head. “I was looking for somewhere to think.”

Byleth knew, from talks during their counseling sessions, that the thinking he usually did in the cathedral was not usually positive. She was glad the entrance was blocked. “Looks like you’ll have to think somewhere else. I know a place if you’re interested.” 

He finally looked at her for the first time since she walked over to him. “Where? Please do not think me rude, but I would like to be alone for a while. I have been surrounded by people for the last two weeks and I need some time to myself.” He winced. “Not that I do not want to spend time with you specifically, I just want to be...alone for right now.”

“You don’t have to explain, Dimitri. When I first came here, I was overwhelmed by being surrounded by so many people wanting to talk to me all the time. I understand the need to have time to yourself more than most people. Follow me.” She turned and walked across the bridge, confident that he would follow. She led him through the grounds and stopped in front of the old Blue Lions classroom. 

“I thought the classrooms were all destroyed.” Dimitri said as Byleth reached for the doorknob. “I would rather not spend time in there if it is in ruins.”

“Well, the other two are still in bad shape, but we fixed up this one while you were gone.” 

She opened the door to reveal the classroom where they had spent so much time five years before. Her desk had not been damaged, and it sat in the same place on the dais with a map of Fodlan on the chalkboard next to it. The fireplaces had been restored and cleaned up and all the student desks were gone. In their place on one end of the room were two stuffed chairs with a table between them. A few bookshelves ran along the walls and a training dummy stood on the other side of the room. She walked in and turned to face him. 

“I know you are going to have a lot more work to do now and I thought that since you don’t have an official office, and Rodrigue has taken to using the Cardinal’s room as his workspace, you might want somewhere where you can go and work...or just be alone. You can use the desk...” She gestured to the open space where the desks used to be. “...you can use this area to pace, or train, or dance, or whatever you want to do, really.” 

He walked up to the desk and ran his hand over the newly shined surface. “You did this for me?”

“The King should have an office.” She joined him at the desk and hopped up to sit on it, just as she had done hundreds of times during lectures. Even sitting on the tall desk, she still had to look up at him. “I can’t take complete credit for the idea; it was Manuela who suggested it at first. But yes, this is for you.” She leaned back on the desk, practically lying down to open the desk drawer. She grabbed a silver key on a blue ribbon, sat back up, and held it out to him. “It’s all yours, if you want it.”

He took the key from her. “Thank you.” 

She nodded and without thinking reached out to hold on to him as she climbed off the desk. He held on to her arm in return and looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he let go once she safely had her feet on the floor. Byleth thought back to the conversation she’d had with Mercedes. Would it be better if she knew what he was feeling without him having to tell her? If she could just touch him and know how he felt so she could know how to help.

“We put the war meetings on hiatus, and we aren’t going to resume until Monday, so you have three days to rest and recover from your trip. I’ll go ahead and get out of your hair so you can do that.” Byleth walked toward the door. She couldn’t read his thoughts or his feelings, so she had to listen to his words. If he said he needed time alone, the least she could do was give it to him. She wanted to understand him and respect what he wanted as much as she could, considering so much was out of their control. She had reached the door when his voice stopped her. 

“Byleth…” She turned around. He was looking at his feet. “I do want to talk to you soon...we need to talk about the wedding and when to do it.” 

She nodded even though she knew he wasn’t looking at her. “Right, that.” She sighed. “Well, when you’re all rested and ready to talk, you know where to find me. Take all the time you need. It isn’t as though we have to rush to the altar, right?” 

He looked up at her but said nothing although he looked like he had something he wanted to say. She waited. Byleth had never had empathic powers like Mercedes, but she wished in that moment that she had her divine pulse power back, at least. She could push him into revealing his thoughts and then pulse back if it turned into a fight.

 _“You know I would never let you use the power in that way.”_ Sothis scolded. _“Why don’t you try telling him how you feel instead?”_

Byleth considered it but decided not to reveal too much if he was not in a good mood. She settled for a half-truth. “I’m glad you’re back.” She said. _I missed you_ went unspoken.

He opened his mouth but said nothing, nodding instead. “Goodnight, Dimitri.”

She left the classroom and closed the door behind her. She hoped that once he was able to rest, they would be able to have a normal conversation, or as normal as conversation got between the two of them anyway. 

***

**_30 th of the Lone Moon_ **

Dimitri kept to himself for the entire weekend. There were many times that Byleth wanted to walk up to him and talk, but she remembered she told him to come to her when he was ready to talk, so she let him have his space. After sitting through the first war meeting since their return from Charon she understood why he needed that space. Rodrigue gave a report of the meetings and how they had gone and Byleth was surprised by what she heard. Many of the nobles from the lower houses in Faerghus were in the same situation as Lord Charon. They openly supported and agreed with Cornelia to keep their families and territories safe, but they secretly supported Dimitri and prayed for his return. That is why she was surprised to hear that they all set multiple conditions under which they would support him when they eventually chose to march on Fhirdiad. Rodrigue had a list that was many pages long with demands they wanted met and problems they wanted solved. She’d looked across the table at Dimitri while Rodrigue was speaking and his eye was glassed over and his mouth a grim line. 

He did not seem to be in the mood to talk after the meeting, so Byleth was having dinner with Mercedes, Felix, and Bernadetta. Mercedes had made more of the pies and had put sausage and peppers in the mix at Felix’s suggestion. Byleth liked them even more than the first batch. They were almost finished with their meal when the gatekeeper ran in and up to their table. 

“Your Grace, this letter just arrived for you with an express messenger. It must be urgent!” He handed her a letter. She flipped it over and saw that the crest of Gloucester was embossed in wax on the back. The gatekeeper bowed and returned to his post while Byleth opened it. 

“Who’s that from?” Felix asked. 

“Count Gloucester.” She scanned the letter quickly and a few key phrases stood out to her right away. “Felix, we have to call an emergency meeting of the war council. Can you make the rounds and let everyone know to meet as soon as possible? I can tell Seteth and Alois on the way.”

“Of course.” Felix stood up, grabbed another pie to take with him, and sped off. 

“Sorry to steal your dinner companion, Bernie.” 

“It’s ok. I’m getting full and was just going to try to convince him to hang out and read in our room anyway. I’ll just read alone until he gets back.” She smiled at Byleth. “That reminds me, did you ever finish the Loog and the Maiden series?”

Byleth nodded. “I just finished the last one on Saturday. I just wish there were more story. I want to know what happens after the end.”

“It would be great if stories could just go on forever. Sometimes I like to write continuations of stories I’ve read when I have trouble letting them go.” Bernadetta looked down. “But I don’t let anybody read them.”

“Well, if you ever decide to continue the story of Loog and the Maiden, let me know so I can have Felix convince you to let me read it.” She waved goodbye to Bernadetta and headed to the second floor to find Seteth and Alois and let them know about the emergency meeting. 

Once everyone was assembled, Byleth stood up and read the letter. “ _To Her Grace, Byleth Eisner, I was most surprised upon receiving your letter,_ blah, blah, blah…” She rolled her eyes. “He goes on for a while about what an honor it was to hear from me. Ok, here we go... _There is one time that we would be able to meet and discuss the possibility of changing our allegiance and supporting the resistance army. On the last day of each month, the current regiment of Adrestian soldiers makes their way back to the empire and new reinforcements arrive the next morning. That leaves a period of about twelve hours when only our troops from Gloucester hold the bridge. I cannot promise that we will agree to your terms, but if you come during that time, I can promise your safety during negotiations.”_ Byleth looked around the table to gauge reactions. 

“Well, that’s unfortunate.” Ferdinand said. “The last day of the month is tomorrow. If we wanted to get to Myrddin by tomorrow on horseback, we would have had to have left yesterday or the day before.”

“So, what does that mean?” Felix asked. “We have to sit around and wait another month and he still might say no when we get there?”

“I am not in favor of waiting.” Dimitri said. “We should leave immediately and just fight for control of the bridge. You said we will have Judith’s soldiers to help.”

“It would make a lot of things easier if we could get the Count on our side.” Rodrigue looked at the map. “Even if we left now and rode non-stop, we wouldn’t make it in time.”

“We could always fly.” Hilda suggested. “It would be close to a three-day ride to get there since we’d have to stop and rest the horses, but if we flew, we could be there in under four hours.”

“I am agreeing.” Petra stood up and stretched to point at her homeland on the map. “On wyvern a trip from the far island of Brigid to the tip of Fodlan’s Fangs was less than six hours and it is much more far than from here to Myrddin.”

“Flying?” Byleth blanched. “I’d rather not fly, but if that’s what we have to do in order to not waste another month, I’d be willing to bear it.” 

Dimitri frowned. “Count Gloucester can negotiate with me. You do not have to go.”

Byleth looked back down at the letter in her hand. “Not according to this... _Let it be known that I will only negotiate with you, Your Grace, as the leader of the Church. The outcast Prince may have been named King by his followers, but until he has a Kingdom to rule, I would just as well continue supporting the Empress…_ It goes on from there.” She shrugged. “Basically, he will only talk to me.”

“Why should he get to set the conditions for a meeting?” Dimitri asked.

“Because he is the one who holds the bridge.” Felix replied. “He can set any conditions he wants.”

“Then we go in and fight. If he does not want to negotiate with me, he can surrender to me. Or die.” Dimitri stood up. “I move that we leave in the morning and head to Myrddin on horseback. We can send an express messenger to Judith and let her know when to expect us. When we arrive, we will battle for control of the bridge.”

Byleth shook her head. “I oppose your motion and move that we leave in the morning and fly to Myrddin to negotiate.”

“A vote between the two then.” Seteth said. “If you would both sit, please…” They sat and Seteth stood up. “All in favor of His Majesty’s plan to leave tomorrow by horseback and fight for the bridge upon arrival?” Dimitri and Felix raised their hands. 

“All in favor of Her Grace’s plan to leave tomorrow by wyvern and try to negotiate with Count Gloucester?” Seteth, Byleth, Rodrigue, Hilda, Alois, Petra, and Ferdinand raised their hands. “Looks like we have our answer. We fly in the morning.”

They planned out who would go by figuring out who their most capable fliers were and who would ride along for back up in case it was needed. Dimitri was disgruntled throughout the planning and only calmed down a little when Byleth agreed to stay in the town just outside the bridge until the others could make sure the whole thing was not a trap set for her. He also insisted on having Mercedes and Lysithea wait with her in case she needed healing or needed to be warped to safety. Byleth thought it was overkill, in terms of security, but she agreed to it. 

When the meeting concluded, Dimitri asked her if she would join him for tea in his new office. Byleth sat in one of the two cushioned chairs in the classroom since Dimitri insisted on fixing the tea. She had to admit that part of the reason she had placed these specific chairs in his office was that she wanted comfortable chairs in case he ever asked her to tea. He poured the steaming tea into the thick coffee mugs they had taken to using during teatime and slid one across the table to her. 

“It’s nice to see that you are settling into your office.” She said, picking up her tea and blowing on it. 

He nodded and sat down across from her. “I have been spending a lot of time here. It is comfortable. I feel at home in this room.”

They sat and drank their tea in silence. Byleth cleared her throat. “Did you want to talk to me about something, or just have tea?”

“No, I wanted to talk to talk to you.” He put his mug down and sat up straighter. “First of all, I do not think you should be going to Myrddin…”

“That’s too bad, because I’m going.”

“...and secondly, I think we should have the wedding sooner rather than later.”

That was not what Byleth was expecting to hear. She figured he would want to wait. “Why is that?”

“As this war continues, every time we leave the monastery, there are dangers. I would like to ensure that you and the children are well protected if anything happens to me.” He frowned. “And every noble I spoke to while I was in Charon asked me about my marriage. I was even asked a few times why I was not wearing a wedding ring. You know I am not a good liar. If we do not do it soon...”

“I understand.” Byleth nodded. “When do you want to get married?”

“As soon possible. Once you obtain a ring, of course.”

“I have a ring.” She reached up to pull the chain she wore around her neck, which usually hung underneath her clothes. She showed him her dad’s ring. Even if their wedding and marriage were not exactly starting under auspicious circumstances, she knew there was nobody else she would ever consider giving her dad’s ring to. “Do you have one?” He nodded. She picked up her mug and took a sip of her tea to soothe her nerves at what she was about to say. “Then why wait? Let’s go find Seteth and do it now. He’s probably still in his office.”

“Now?”

“The sooner the better, right?”

They left their still warm mugs of tea on the table and left the classroom together. Dimitri led Byleth to her old bedroom so he could get the ring that used to belong to his mother. He was going to give her his mother’s ring, and the ring Byleth held up and showed him was the one he knew once belonged to her father. His heart was thundering in his chest as they walked from his bedroom to Seteth’s office. 

Dimitri could not believe this was happening. After all the time he pined for her, daydreamed in class about marrying her, thought he would never see her again, and he would be married to her in a few short minutes. He wondered how she felt but did not ask for fear of what she would say. Before they walked into Seteth’s office, he stopped her and took her hand. She looked up at him and squeezed it. 

Seteth looked up at them, surprised. “What can I do for the two of you at this hour?”

“Perform a quick wedding.” Byleth said.

He blinked at them. “A quick wedding? When?”

“Right now.” Dimitri said. 

Seteth shook his head. “Right now? Impossible. The workers are still finishing up in the cathedral and you don’t have witnesses.”

“We don’t have to get married in the cathedral.” Byleth argued.

“Yes, you do.” Seteth crossed his arms. “There are a lot of things you are doing untraditionally, and that’s fine, but the Archbishop cannot wed anywhere but the cathedral, neither can the King for that matter. The workers should be gone in a few hours. If you would like we can meet in the cathedral at dawn and I can perform the ceremony before we leave for Myrddin. That will give you time to get your witnesses.”

“How many witnesses?” Byleth asked. 

“Two each. One male and one female.” Seteth turned to his desk and opened a drawer, pulling a document out of it. “You can do this part now to save time…” He grabbed his quill pen from its inkwell. “Sign here please, Your Majesty.”

Dimitri stepped forward and looked down at the document. It was a marriage license. Seteth handed him the quill and Dimitri signed his name on the indicated line. 

“Now you, Your Grace.” 

Byleth took the quill from Seteth and signed her name on the line next to his. “Very good.” Seteth said. “I’ll see you at dawn with your witnesses.” 

They left his office and Dimitri felt all the tension he had been holding in his body release. The wedding would have to wait until morning. She turned to walk into the audience chamber and the staircase that led to her quarters. Without thinking, he followed her and walked her to her room. He stood outside her door with her. 

“It looks like we will have to wait a few more hours to get married.” Byleth smirked. “Leave it to Seteth to put up a roadblock once we finally decide to do something on our own for once.”

“A few hours should make no difference.” Dimitri shook his head. “Before you go to bed...please tell me you will at least reconsider going to Myrddin tomorrow. If we are married in the morning, perhaps Count Gloucester will talk to me after all…”

“Dimitri…” She sighed. “I’m going to Myrddin, we already decided.” She reached up and brushed his hair out of his face. “I’ll see you at dawn.” She went into her room leaving Dimitri standing out in the hall. He was both looking forward to and dreading the coming of the next day. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Mercedes and Ashe just accidentally invent calzones? Did Bernie just reveal herself to be the first ever fanfic author? Yes! 
> 
> Will our lovebirds marry in the morning? You'll have to wait and see...
> 
> Thank you all for reading and commenting!


	33. The Bride Wore Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of His Royal Majesty, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, King of Faerghus and Her Radiant Grace, Byleth Eisner, Archbishop of the Church of Seiros. RSVP not required.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update so soon? I was going to wait to post this so I could finally be ahead of schedule and not writing on a self-imposed deadline, but I figured - it's finished and today is Valentine's Day, so let's have a wedding!
> 
> Two songs for this chapter:
> 
> "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons (Dimitri in the first 3/4 of this chapter)  
> "All of Me" by John Legend (The last 1/4 of the chapter)

**_30th of the Lone Moon_ **

Dimitri had not slept well the night before. After leaving Byleth’s room, he went to Sylvain and Ingrid’s room to ask the two of them to act as his witnesses at dawn the next day. They were both excited and said they would be there, but Dimitri found it difficult to rise to their level of excitement. From the moment that he left Byleth’s room, and all through the night, Glenn and Sir Jeralt screamed at him. Glenn reminded him that Byleth did not love him and was only marrying him because she had to. Sir Jeralt screamed about how Dimitri was not worthy of marrying his daughter or wearing his ring. Occasionally, Patricia would chime in and lament that Byleth was not able to escape his clutches. Thankfully, both his father and uncle remained silent. Unfortunately, so did Dedue. By morning, when it was time to meet everyone at the cathedral, he was a mess. 

Dimitri was the last to arrive. When he walked in, he saw Seteth standing in the transept with Manuela and Ingrid and he was pointing up at the ceiling. He noted that all the rubble had been cleared and the hole in the roof fixed. Sylvain and Felix were sitting in the front pew looking sleepy and bored, respectively. As he walked toward them, Dimitri’s eye scanned the cathedral and found Byleth standing up front, in the apse, with Leonie. She was standing behind an ornate podium that was set in front of the altar that housed the statue of the goddess and looking at the large book set atop it.

Byleth was wearing the usual short black dress and sandals that she wore on missions, but without her cape. Dimitri could not help but be slightly disappointed. He did not think she would have had time to get a wedding dress on such short notice, but he hoped that she might at least be wearing one of her Archbishop dresses. Then he remembered that they were leaving for Myrddin right after the wedding. It did not make sense for her to travel on the back of a wyvern in a long dress, or to run all the way back to her quarters and change. She was just being practical. He was wearing his armor, after all. All but his gloves and gauntlets. 

“ _No, she isn’t wearing a nicer dress because she doesn’t care about this wedding at all.”_ Glenn said. _“She’s not being practical by wearing that dress, she’s being practical marrying you in the first place.”_ Dimitri winced at Glenn’s voice and focused on the fact that while Byleth was looking at the book, Leonie had both hands around Byleth’s stomach and was staring at it. When Byleth stepped out from behind the podium he saw why. Somehow, seemingly overnight, Byleth’s stomach had grown noticeably bigger. 

Manuela walked over and stood beside Dimitri, following his eye line. She smiled at him. “Crazy isn’t it? How she just popped overnight.”

He swallowed. “Is that normal?”

“Oh, yes. Perfectly normal. It’s actually a little late. But she was so sick for the first few weeks it makes sense that it only happened now.” Manuela placed her hand on his shoulder. “How are you doing with all of this?”

“I am fine.”

“How are the ghosts this morning? Leaving you alone?”

He blinked. “Fine. Quiet. Not an issue.” Manuela narrowed her eyes at him like she did not believe him, and Dimitri wished, not for the first time, that he was a better liar. 

Seteth looked at Dimitri. “Your Majesty, now that you are here, shall we get started?” He nodded. Felix and Sylvain stood, and they all walked over to where Byleth and Leonie were standing. He went up to Byleth and looked down at her, trying to guess what she was thinking even though he knew he was not supposed to do that. 

“Are you ready?” He asked, searching her face for an answer, and finding none. 

“I am. Are you ready?” 

“Yes.” 

She nodded and turned to Seteth. ‘Let’s have a wedding.” 

Seteth took his place behind the podium and directed Byleth and Dimitri to stand in front of it with Sylvain and Ingrid standing next to Dimitri and Felix and Leonie standing on either side of Byleth. Manuela handed Byleth a small bouquet of flowers and stepped up to stand next to Seteth. 

“Dearly beloved and honored witnesses. We are gathered together here, in the presence of the Goddess, to witness and celebrate the marriage of His Royal Majesty, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, King of Faerghus and Her Radiant Grace, Byleth Eisner, Archbishop of the Church of Seiros…” Dimitri noticed that Byleth rolled her eyes at Seteth mentioning her title.

 _“I can’t help but agree with her. Imagine how this wedding will go down in history.”_ Glenn laughed. _“Such fancy and noble titles and yet the bride wore black and the groom wore armor. What a joke.”_

“Who presents this woman to be married to this man?” Seteth asked. 

“We do.” Leonie and Felix said together. Felix held Byleth’s right hand and handed it to Dimirti; he reached out and held it. Byleth looked up at him, her face impassive. Felix looked wary as he took his place next to Leonie on Byleth’s left side.

 _“I would never have given her away to a monster like you.”_ Jeralt hissed in his ear. _“Even Felix hesitates, and he is supposed to be your friend.”_

“We come together,” Seteth continued, “not to mark the start of a relationship, but to acknowledge and strengthen a bond that already exists.” Glen snorted in Dimitri’s head. He feared his ghosts were not going to leave him a moment of peace in this ceremony. “Let us bow our heads in prayer for the blessing.” 

Byleth bowed her head and Dimirti followed suit. Manuela cleared her throat and spoke while releasing a beam of white magic over the both of them. Dimitri felt the warmth spread deep into his body. “May love and laughter fill your hearts and your home all the days of your lives. May you face every challenge hand-in-hand knowing that with the Goddess’ grace, you can conquer all obstacles together.” Her voice broke slightly. “May the world be a better place because the two of you fell in love. May the Goddess bless that love each day, from this day, until your last.”

Dimitri felt his chest tighten. He prayed with every bit of faith he had left, that someday the words in the blessing would come true, but he was afraid they never would. 

“ _A blessing wasted. Love can’t hold you together where it doesn’t exist. She doesn’t love you.”_

_“Who do you think you are, to even ask for such a thing from her?”_

He felt his eye glass over and closed it to block any tears from spilling out as Seteth spoke anew. 

“Dimitri and Byleth, let me charge you both to remember that your future happiness is to be in mutual consideration, patience, kindness, confidence, and affection. I call your attention to the seriousness of the decision you have made and the covenant you are about to declare before the Goddess. The vows you are about to take are not to be taken without careful thought, for in them you are committing yourselves exclusively to one another for as long as you both shall live.” Seteth turned to Leonie and Sylvain and held out his hand. “May I have the rings please?”

Leonie stepped forward and placed Jeralt’s ring in Seteth’s outstretched palm. Jeralt growled in Dimitri’s head. Sylvain followed suit, placing Dimitri’s mother’s ring beside Jeralt’s. Patricia laughed. _“A cursed ring for a cursed marriage. How fitting.”_

Manuela cast a spell over the rings, and they glowed softly in Seteth’s hand as he spoke. “Dimitri and Byleth, you will now exchange rings. Your rings are made of precious metals; they are also made precious by you wearing them; and by the love of those who wore them before you. Your wedding rings are no mere piece of jewelry; they are a symbol to the world of your commitment to each other and the vows you will take today.” He held his hand out to Dimitri. “Your Majesty, please take your mother’s ring and repeat after me. Dimitri’s hand was shaking as he picked up the ring. “Byleth, I give you this ring...”

“Byleth... I give you this ring...” His voice was tight in his throat. He looked at her, but her gaze was on the ring in his shaking hand. 

“To show the world that I have chosen you above all else…”

“To show the world that I have chosen you…” His voice broke. “Above all else.”

“With this ring, I thee wed.” 

“With this ring, I thee wed.” 

Seteth directed him to put the ring on Byleth’s left hand. She turned and held the bouquet out to Leonie, who took it from her, then held her hand out to him. It was completely steady compared to the shaking mess his hands were. They were shaking so badly that he could not still them enough to put the ring on her finger. 

_“Ridiculous. I stood my ground and saved your life, and you aren’t even man enough to stop shaking long enough to put a simple ring on her finger! You are failing at marriage already and you aren’t even married.”_

_“I wish she would turn and run out of here before it’s too late. The thought that my daughter will be tied to you for the rest of her life burns worse than the eternal flames.”_

Byleth placed her hand over his shaking one and looked up at him. He could not read the look in her eyes. Was she disappointed in him? Sad, angry, resigned to her fate? She carefully plucked the ring from his quivering fingers and put it on her own finger before turning to look back at Seteth, who hesitated before continuing. 

“Your turn now, Your Grace.” 

Byleth picked up the other ring and took a deep breath.

“Dimitri, I give you this ring…” Seteth said.

“Dimitri, I give you this ring…” Her voice sounded cold compared to the burning heat of Glenn and Jeralt in his ears. 

“To show the world that I have chosen you above all else…”

“To show the world that I have chosen you above all else...”

Glenn barked out a laugh. _“Chosen you? She was forced to choose you!”_

“With this ring, I thee wed.” 

“With this ring, I thee wed.” Byleth looked at him and he stared at her. She sighed. “I need your hand, Dimitri.”

“I am sorry.” He shook his head and lifted his still shaking left hand. Byleth bit her bottom lip and held up the ring as she studied his hand for a moment. She took his left hand in between her two hands and turned it so his palm was up. She placed the ring in the center of his palm and closed his fist around it. He opened his hand and managed to slip the ring on his own finger. He expected the metal would feel cold against his skin, but it was warm. He expected it had something to do with the spell Manuela cast on it; he noticed it still glowed. He had attended a few weddings in his life, but realized he never paid enough attention to what happened during the ceremony to know if the glowing rings were a normal thing.

Seteth directed them to face each other and hold left hands so their rings were touching each other, and the warmth in his ring grew stronger. “If you are ready to assume the obligations and duties before the Goddess as I have defined them, you will now unite your lives as you have united your hands and pledge your vows to each other.” He turned to Dimitri. 

“Do you, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, take Byleth Eisner to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and protect, as long as you both shall live?”

_“Do the right thing and say no. Spare her the curse.”_

_“You are forcing her to make the biggest mistake of her life after choosing to teach your house in the first place. Say no!”_

_“Honor and protect? How are you going to protect her? Did you protect her from Solon, from falling off that cliff, from the soldiers in Ailell that left her injured? You are incapable of protecting her, you have shown that a dozen times over! You don’t deserve her.”_

Dimitri steeled himself against their voices long enough to respond.

“I do.”

His ring glowed brighter for a moment then the light faded, and the ring was cool against his skin. Hers was still glowing. Seteth turned to Byleth and the cacophony of voices returned to his head. 

“Do you, Byleth Eisner, take Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd to be your lawfully wedded husband...”

_“It isn’t too late; you can still spare her from this. You know she doesn’t want to marry you!”_

“...to have and to hold, from this day forward…”

_“You don’t deserve to have her hold you. She doesn’t want to hold you. You are unclean, and tarnished, and unworthy!”_

“...for better or worse…”

_“As if anything will ever get better! It will be bad, and then worse. You will ruin her life even more than you already have.”_

“...in sickness and in health…” 

_“You will leave her a widow with two children to raise alone. How can you do this to her? It would be better if you just left now.”_

“...to love, honor, and obey, as long as you both shall live?”

_“Love? She doesn’t love you! Will you really stand here and listen to her make vows she doesn’t mean? You must put a stop to this madness!’_

“I…” She paused and studied his face. “Dimitri, are you ok?” 

He shook his head even as he struggled to catch his breath. “I need a moment. I am so sorry. I just need a moment…” He released her hand, turned, and walked toward the side entrance on the side of the transept, heading outside. 

Manuela watched him as he walked out, and she was afraid he would not come back. He was in obvious distress. She wanted to go after him but waited with the hope that he would return.

“What just happened?” Leonie asked. 

“He said he needs a moment.” Seteth said. “We will give him one.”

“I can’t believe him.” Felix grumbled and Manuela shot him a look that she hoped conveyed her order telling him to keep quiet without her having to say so out loud. 

She watched Byleth’s face, which had been calm throughout the ceremony, and noticed that as the minutes passed, her façade started to crack; tears were forming in her eyes. 

“I don’t think he’s going to come back.” Byleth said. Manuela wasn’t sure if she was talking to herself or to everyone else. Byleth reached back towards Leonie and motioned for her to hand her the bouquet. “Seteth, can you repeat the question please? This ring is getting uncomfortably hot and we have to leave soon. We have to finish the ceremony.”

“Are you sure?” Seteth asked. 

She nodded as the first of her tears broke free. “Everything is done already except for my answer. Let’s just finish.” Seteth looked at Manuela, a question in his eyes. She nodded. 

Seteth, his face grim and his voice betraying the sadness he must have felt on behalf of the woman who he had come to love as family, cleared his throat and repeated the question at Byleth’s request. “Do you, Byleth Eisner, take Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and obey, as long as you both shall live?”

Byleth sighed, her breath shaking as he exhaled. Tears fell down her cheeks in rivers. "I do." Manuela looked at Byleth’s hand and saw that her ring glowed and then faded. The vows were sealed. 

“By the authority vested in me, by the Goddess and the Church of Seiros, I now pronounce that you are husband and wife.” Seteth’s voice was scarcely above a whisper. Byleth nodded and turned to walk out of the cathedral. 

"Weirdest wedding ever." Sylvain quipped to Ingrid next to him.

Byleth stopped in her tracks, spun, and threw her flowers at Sylvain. The shining, golden, twin crests of Blaiddyd glowed and the flowers hit him in the face with enough force that Manuela believed they would have knocked him over if he had not reacted quickly enough to catch them. 

“Be ready to leave for Myrddin within the hour.” Byleth said, and then she stormed out of the cathedral. 

“I’m going after her.” Leonie said. 

“No.” Manuela shook her head.

“We should go find him and kick his ass.” Ingrid said. “How could he do that to her?”

“He was freaking out the whole ceremony.” Felix said. “You couldn’t tell?”

“He was freaking out and she showed hardly any emotions at all until she attacked me. Do I have blood on my face?” Sylvain asked Ingrid.

“Just a little.” 

Manuela took Sylvain’s face in her hands and healed the small cuts the flower stems had left on his face as they all, including Seteth, made plans to chase after Byleth and Dimitri. She sighed. “You will do no such thing. The five of you are among the group going to Myrddin. Do as she asked and be ready to leave as planned. Let them figure this out. None of us should get involved.”

“But…” Leonie started. 

“No buts.” Manuela shook her head and looked around at them. “We all care about them and hate to see them hurting, but they are married now, and this matter is between them. This is the first test of their marriage and we have to let them face it together without any outside interference. I have faith in them; they can figure this out.”

Seteth had the witnesses all sign the marriage license and they all agreed that nobody would speak of how the ceremony ended to anyone else. Manuela looked up at the statue of Sothis and prayed the Goddess would help them to come together. Manuela had given them all the tools they needed to be able to communicate, they only needed to use them. 

***

Byleth stomped across the bridge and up to her office to get her cloak and travel bag. She stopped in the Cardinal’s room to see if Dimitri had gone there, but he hadn’t. She stalked back down the stairs and tried to think of where he might be. She figured he would not go back to his bedroom and headed to the Blue Lion’s classroom. 

As she walked into the corridor where the classrooms were, she saw the door to the one in the middle was open and rushed into it, her anger driving her like she had not felt it since she vowed vengeance on Kronya. She found him there standing with his hands on the desk, staring at the map he had ripped off the chalkboard and spread out on the surface. She stepped up to the other side of the desk, glared at him, and crossed her arms. 

“I can see you’re obviously busy, but I thought you might like to know that the wedding is over. We were almost done when you walked out, so we went ahead and finished since we figured you wouldn’t be back. Congratulations: we’re married.” He looked up from the map and she couldn’t read the look on his face. “I don’t want to talk to you for the rest of the day. Maybe the rest of the week, I haven’t decided. Either way, stay away from me.” She turned to leave the room and heard a slamming behind her. She turned back and could tell that he had punched the desk from the dent under his fist.

“You are upset with me, so you are running away and deciding not to talk to me instead of communicating.” He huffed out a joyless laugh. “And you call me predictable.” He looked back down, and she seethed. 

“I’m running away?” She closed the distance between them and looked up at him. “You walked out on our wedding, Dimitri. You left me standing at the altar, alone. How is that not running away?”

He clenched his jaw and looked back down at the map. “I do not want you going to Myrddin today. The surrounding area is hostile, and it is not safe for you to be there, even if you do not enter until the bridge is secure, the area outside is dangerous.”

“What does that have to do with what we’re talking about? Don’t change the subject!”

“We have plenty of time for you to yell at me about the wedding later. We leave for Myrddin in less than an hour. This takes precedence. I command you to stay behind!”

“We’ve been through this. You can’t command me to stay or go anywhere.”

“I believe I just did.” 

She scoffed. “I misspoke. You can command me all you’d like. That doesn’t mean I have to obey you.”

“It does.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She shook her head and pointed at the blue flag of Faerghus hanging on the wall, but her eyes remained glued to his face. “As king and leader of the resistance army you can command me as long as I am fighting under your banner on the battlefield. You can even command me to stay off the battlefield, and that’s fine. I’ll do that. - But if you order me not to go to Myrddin at all…” She levelled him with her gaze and crossed her arms. “You will find that the King of Faerghus does not have jurisdiction over the travel plans of the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros, and he cannot demand her obedience.” 

He took a step forward, entering her personal space. “The Archbishop may not have to obey the King of Faerghus, but I am your husband and you just made a vow obey me. Are you breaking it already?”

Byleth closed her eyes and let out a quivering gasp and Dimitri thought he had won. He did not really believe that she should be bound to obey his whims just because they were married, but if she did, he would use the loophole if it meant she would stay behind and remain safe. That was all that mattered, even if she was mad at him. He watched her as she placed a hand on her now much larger belly, took a deep breath, and looked up at him. He was surprised to see her eyes were not filled with tears, as he expected. Instead, they seemed to glow with rage. 

“Listen to me very carefully, Dimitri.” She spoke softly and evenly, almost at a whisper. It was difficult for him to hear her over the voices in his head, but he noted that her voice was cold and devoid of emotion, despite the fact that she was clearly brimming over with anger. He was much larger than she was, yet it was he who stepped back. “We may be married now, but you have not earned the right to call yourself my husband after what you just did in that cathedral.” He looked away from her and she moved, remaining stubbornly in his line of sight. “You weren't in the room for my vows, so don't you dare invoke them. I vowed to love, honor, and obey. And I love you so much…” 

All the voices in his head stopped speaking at once. His heart dropped and his eye jumped to look at her face. What had she said?

“...but until you love me back, I’m going to find it difficult to stick to the part where I’m expected to obey. I’m going to Myrddin and you can’t stop me.” She turned away and stormed out of the classroom.

Had she just said that she loves him? No. He was sure he heard her incorrectly. That could not possibly be what she said. He chased after her and caught up to her just outside the old Golden Deer classroom, thanks to the fact that his legs were much longer than hers. He stood in front of her, blocking her path and staring at her. Byleth loved him. She loved him and she thought he did not love her. He did not understand how she could think that, when he had thought the opposite. How could they both have misjudged the situation so badly? He willed his brain to force his tongue to speak and tell her he did love her, but nothing was happening. He was like a statue. She did not look up at him. 

“Let me pass.”

His legs were made of lead and he could not move them. He could do nothing but stand there like an open-mouthed fool.

She shook her head then grunted in annoyance as she turned around and went in the other direction.

 _"Go after her."_ Dedue's voice sounded in his ears for the first time in days, and that alone snapped him into action.

“Byleth!” He yelled after her. Not angrily, just loudly trying to get her attention. She quickened her pace. “Wait, please! I am growing tired of this happening every time we try to have a conversation. You cannot just say something like that and walk out without letting me respond!”

She stopped walking and spun to face him. “But walking out on our _wedding_ , that’s perfectly acceptable?” She looked up at him and he realized that what he thought was anger in her eyes all this time, was something else. She was hurt.

“I am sorry for doing that. I...”

“No. You were right; now is not the time to talk about this.” She shook her head. “We need to get going. We’re supposed to be leaving any minute now...” 

She turned to walk away from him and time shattered. Byleth found herself in the throne room with Sothis. 

“What are you doing?” She asked, walking up to the throne. “Why am I here?”

 _“Byleth, stop.”_ Sothis said, holding up her hand. _“I have paused time. You need to turn around and talk to him. Don’t worry about the others; they will not leave for Myrddin without the two of you.”_

“Sothis, I can’t talk to him right now. It hurts. He walked out on me and it hurts."

_“I know you are hurt. I want you to consider that he may be hurting too. Why else would he have left the wedding? To be cruel? You know he is not a cruel man. He must have had a reason.”_

“Regardless of his reasons, it was still a cruel thing to do.”

_“Yes, it was. I do not disagree. He hurt you. And now you are hurting him in retaliation. You will both continue hurting each other because you keep refusing to talk about things. That toxic pattern may have been mildly acceptable before, but you are married now and if you continue this way your relationship will rot and die. Is that what you want?”_

Byleth shook her head. 

_“Whether he heard Seteth pronounce it or not, whether you think he has earned the title or not, it doesn’t change the fact that Dimitri is your husband now and the two of you need to fix this. You already did the hard part. You told him you love him. Now, you have to hear him out and let him tell you how he feels. I am not telling you to forgive him or trying to tell you how you should feel. All I ask is that you talk to your husband, Byleth. I will resume time when you are ready.”_

Byleth took a few deep breaths and tried to calm herself. It took longer than she expected, but she finally looked back up at Sothis and nodded. “I’m ready.”

With a flash, time resumed for Byleth. She turned and looked up at Dimitri. Sothis had asked her to consider that he was hurting too. Looking at his face, she had to admit to herself that it was obvious that he was. Tears began to form in her eyes again and she sighed. “This is stupid...we were doing so well until all of this marriage stuff happened.” 

He nodded; his eye was glassy as well. “We were.”

“Dimitri…” She took a deep breath. “Why did you walk out on the wedding? If you changed your mind and didn’t want to go through with it, you could have told me. If you had preferred to let Rodrigue choose someone for you... “

“You know that is not what I would prefer. I did want to go through with it. But once we were there, I could not bear it...I wanted you to _want_ to marry me, and I thought you did not. I thought you were doing it for the wrong reasons.”

“Don’t turn this around on me.” She pointed at him. “You obviously didn’t want to get married. You only chose marrying me because you didn’t want to marry a stranger and because of all the political reasons.”

“That is not true.”

“Then why did you leave? All you had to do was stand there for one more minute and even that was too much for you.”

“I left because I did not want to stay and hear you take a vow I thought you did not mean.”

She glared at him. “I had to listen to you take yours even though you didn’t mean it. Do you think that was easy for me? Hearing you make vows of love when I knew you didn’t even want to marry me?”

“You are mistaken. I did mean my vows...I love you, Byleth.” 

Dimitri closed his eye, but tears flowed out beneath his closed lid anyway. Byleth’s breath caught in her throat and as she watched him, she felt all of her anger dissipate like a summer storm. He opened his eye and looked at her. “I meant every word of my vows to you. This may not be how I imagined it happening, but…I wanted to marry you. I have wanted to marry you since I was seventeen years old, you were the one who took almost a whole month to decide to marry me.”

"That's only because…" Her mouth dropped open and she took a step towards him. “You never said you...” She shook her head. “Dimitri, in the month of talking and not talking about it, you never once said you _wanted_ to marry me.”

“I thought it was obvious…”

“It wasn’t. Why do you think it took so long for me to say yes? You told me why it was a good idea, logically, but you never said it was something you wanted. You never told me you love me.” She reached up to cup his cheek. “If you had, I would have said yes right away.” 

"I should have told you. I wanted to so many times but..." He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You never told me you love me either."

"I know." She swallowed. "But I do."

 _"Idiots."_ Sothis sighed. _"It's about time."_

“Byleth…” He raised his hand to hold hers against his face and kissed her palm. “I want to be married to you. Do you want to be married to me?” She nodded and he nuzzled into her hand and sighed. “Almost two months of counseling and we still could not communicate well enough to avoid this…” Dimitri shook his head. 

“I guess we still have a lot to learn.” 

“I am so sorry I ruined our wedding. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.” He picked up her left hand and touched his mother’s ring - Byleth’s ring now. “We can have another ceremony, if you would like, a better one.”

She shook her head. “That’s not necessary.” She tried to hold back a smile and couldn’t. “The beginning part wasn’t bad, just the ending. I don’t need to have another wedding to be happy about being your wife.”

“My wife…” He blushed and looked away. She brought her other hand up to his face and relished the feeling of his cheeks against her hands. She turned his gaze to her. 

“I don’t want to hear you say _you_ ruined anything. That ceremony was doomed from the start and we both had a hand in that. If we had only communicated more effectively, it could have been so much better.” She reached up further, brushed his hair out of his face and huffed out a laugh. “You would have heard my vows, at least.”

"Your vows are not the only important thing I missed." His voice was warm and soft. He closed the last of the distance between them and brought his head down to touch hers. She felt his breath on her face when he released a shaky sigh. "May I…" He paused, and with his fingers under her chin, he tilted her face up toward him. She heard him swallow. "May I kiss my bride?"

"Yes, you may." Byleth felt heat rise to her face and felt Dimitri’s face warm under her hands. He pulled her closer and his lips touched hers gently in a soft, tentative kiss that reminded her so much of their first. It sent a surge of energy through her body, but it wasn't enough. She dropped her bag, went up on her toes, and threw her arms around his neck as far as she could reach. She kissed him. His hand moved from her face to tangle in her hair, the other wrapping around her waist and trying to hold her even closer as she deepened the kiss because she needed him to know that she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her. He twinned his tongue with hers and she moaned and reciprocated because she never again wanted him to doubt she wanted to kiss him. Byleth wanted to kiss Dimitri every day for the rest of her life, and she planned to. 

She pulled away slightly, her lips still touching his as she whispered. "We have to leave soon."

"Leave?"

"To Myrddin."

"Byleth…" He sighed her name and dropped his hand from her hair to put both arms around her. "Please stay here. Let me negotiate with Gloucester in your place. I just want you to be safe."

She trailed her lips along his face, everywhere she could reach, kissing him between words. "I’ll be fine. I promise I'll be careful."

He groaned as her lips reached his neck. He pulled away enough so that she couldn’t reach him and huffed out a short laugh. "You are trying to seduce me into saying I do not oppose you coming on this mission."

"No, I’m not." She smiled. "You know, unless it's working…" 

He shook his head. "I do not know why you are so insistent on going. You hate flying. What if you get ill from air sickness?" 

"I can deal with flying if I have to and I'm used to being sick, so a little air sickness is nothing." She threw her head back in frustration. "Dimitri, tell me the truth. No more hiding things from each other...why are you so opposed to me going?"

He closed his eye and said nothing for several seconds. She waited. "I am afraid of you flying." He looked at her and she could see the fear on his face. "What if you fall?"

"Oh…" She felt like the wind got knocked out of her. Of course, he would be worried about her falling. She reached back up and he bent toward her so she could embrace him fully. She kissed his cheek. "You don't have to worry about that. Leonie is the best wyvern rider I've met other than Claude. She can dodge anything, and she would die before she let me fall. I trust her with my life." 

He nodded. "I suppose I will have to trust her with the most important people in mine." He looked down, placed his large palm on the swell of her belly, and sighed. "Since you will all be flying to Myrddin with her today."

She placed her hand over his and beamed up at him. "Don’t look so defeated. This is a good thing. Me going with you means we don't have to spend our first day as husband and wife apart." 

_“Or the first night."_ Sothis giggled.

Byleth blushed and bit her bottom lip. He raised his eyebrow at her and no more than a second later, Dimitri tangled his hands in her hair and captured her lips once more, his open mouth matching hers, his tongue needy and wanting. They kissed and kissed and Byleth was sure that if she had been counting, she would have found that they had synced up for far more than seven breaths. 

“Well, looks like the newlyweds made up.” 

“Looks like it.”

Byleth heard Sylvain and Ingrid’s voices and laughter. She reluctantly pulled her lips away from Dimitri’s but didn’t look away from him. He smiled down at her and she snuggled into him.

“Great.” Felix said. “We found them without even trying and they’re obviously fine. Let’s get going then.” 

“Oh, come on Felix. It’s not like Myrddin is going anywhere.” Sylvain followed Felix toward the wyvern pens, pulling Ingrid behind him.

Leonie remained in the courtyard. Byleth chanced a look up at her and saw that she was smirking at them. “Don’t the two of you ever do anything like normal people?”

“No.” Byleth said and went up on her toes to kiss Dimitri again. 

“Well, I’m happy for you, but wrap it up soon, or we’ll totally leave without you because we’ll be late leaving otherwise.” Leonie grunted. “I’m leaving. When you’re done, meet us at the wyvern pens like the responsible leaders you’re supposed to be.”

Byleth heard Leonie talking but her brain didn’t process the words. It was too busy trying to commit this moment to memory. It was her wedding day, and she was kissing her new husband in front of the classroom where they fell in love with each other. Her heart was still, as always, but it felt full. As Byleth kissed her husband, her entire body was flooded with his warmth and she realized she didn't really care if they left for Myrddin on time or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!!!! 
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day to Dimitri and Byleth and to all of you! I love you guys!
> 
> It's not all fluff and rainbows from here (far from it) but at least we got those two crazy kids to admit their feelings. The next chapter may take me a bit since I have written less than 100 words of it. Oops.
> 
> Coming up: Will the real Best Man please stand up?


	34. Honeymoon in Myrddin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their wedding, Byleth and Dimitri, along with a few others, travel to Myrddin where they try to negotiate with Count Gloucester. While they are there, they reunite with an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is back? Sorry this update took so long. As an apology, take this giant chapter!

By the time Dimitri and Byleth arrived at the wyvern pens, hand in hand, the only people there were Sylvain and Leonie. 

“About time, lovebirds.” Sylvain said with a laugh from where he was sitting on the fence surrounding the pens. “Everyone else left already. Can we get going, or are you two going to make out some more? I'm more than happy to wait if you want to go consummate this thing.”

Dimitri felt himself blush, but then Byleth squeezed his hand and he found his voice. He would not let Sylvain’s teasing get to him today. “No. We are ready to depart.” 

Sylvain jumped off the fence and grabbed Dimitri’s bag and lance so he could strap them to the wyvern’s saddle. Byleth handed her things to Leonie and she did the same. Dimitri hoped they would be able to get to Myrddin with no trouble and negotiate with Count Gloucester without much argument. He had suffered through enough vacillating of his emotions for one day. The sun had not been up for long and Dimitri had already run the full range of every emotion he possessed since getting out of bed. He had gone from being overcome by his ghosts and feeling nothing but despair and anger, to not hearing any of their voices and feeling happier than he had in years. Upon realizing that, he expected to hear Glenn and Jeralt jeering at him and telling him that everything Byleth had said was a lie, but the ghosts were silent.

Dimitri hoped that, if the rest of the day were calm, the ghosts would remain quiet long enough for him to spend a proper wedding night with his wife. Sylvain was obviously teasing him when he made the comment about consummating the marriage, but Dimitri would be lying to himself if he said the thought had not entered his mind. It had been five long years since their one night together, and he was eager, but he had to admit that part of him was also apprehensive. Since revealing what Cornelia had done to him to Manuela, they had been working through some of the feelings associated with it during his solo counseling sessions. He did not know if he was ready for physical intimacy yet, but he knew he wanted it; he wanted her.

Dimitri watched Byleth as she deftly braided her hair into two long braids. She turned to look up at him and she smiled and told him she was braiding it so it would not blow in her face while they were flying, answering the question he had not asked, but was wondering about. He could not help himself and leaned down to give her a quick kiss while the others were not looking. They had been married for less than an hour, but he was already growing far too attached to the feeling of her lips on his and missing that feeling when it was gone. He pulled away from her and sighed as he watched her blush and continue to braid her hair. Byleth loved him; she was his wife; in that moment, he felt like he could do anything. That did not mean he was not still worried about the trip. 

“Please be careful up there.” He said to her. “Hold on tightly.”

“I will if you will.” She smirked and raised her voice. “I trust Leonie to fly me around a lot more than I trust Sylvain with you.”

“Ouch.” Sylvain touched his hand to his chest as he led his wyvern toward them. “Haven’t you hurt me enough for one day, Your Majesty? You almost took my head off with those flowers.”

“Don’t exaggerate.” Leonie said to Sylvain before grabbing Byleth by the hand and leading her to her waiting wyvern. Dimitri followed. “There were only a couple of small cuts and Manuela healed them right away.”

Dimitri looked to Byleth for an explanation. She was blushing. “I’ll tell you about it later.” She looked back at where Sylvain was standing by his wyvern and called out to him. “Sorry about the flower thing!”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me!” Sylvain shouted back. 

Leonie laughed as she climbed into the saddle. She turned and held her hand out to Byleth and Dimitri lifted her up so she could climb on with Leonie’s help. She appeared to be secure in the saddle as she held onto Leonie. Dimitri looked up at his wife as his heart thundered in his chest. He reached up and ran his hand along her calf as it was the only part of her he could now reach. 

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you too.” 

“I swear.” Leonie shook her head. “The two of you are too cute for me to handle this early in the morning. Can you step back, your majesty? Simon here is bound to knock you down with one of his wings if you’re standing this close when we take off.” 

Dimitri nodded and stepped back. Byleth waved at him then buried her face into Leonie’s back as they took flight. 

Sylvain walked up to him and clapped him on the back. “That just leaves us. Ready to go?” Dimitri grimaced. “I know you don’t like flying either, but you got married today! That takes far more courage than a little flying. This should be a piece of cake for you.”

Dimitri nodded and mounted behind Sylvain after he climbed into the saddle. He could see Leonie’s wyvern not far away in the distance and tried to keep his eye on it as best as he could the entire trip. 

***

Byleth didn’t want to admit that Dimitri was right, but the second that she felt the force slam her into Leonie as Simon took off and felt the wind hit her face, she realized that he was inarguably right. She was terrified of flying. She had no idea how she was going to survive a four-hour flight without losing her mind or her breakfast. In fact, she was sure that Leonie would have bruises on her sides from where Byleth was holding on to her so tightly. She wished Lysithea could have warped her all the way to Myrddin as she tried to find a way to calm down. She closed her eyes and took a number of deep breaths. Manuela had taught her the breathing exercise and told her to fill her mind with happy thoughts while she did it. Byleth didn’t have to cast her mind around for long before she found happier things to think about. She fidgeted with the ring on her left hand with her pinky finger next to it and smiled despite still being filled with fear. She was married to Dimitri, and he loved her. It had been a while since she could think about Dimitri and feel nothing but happiness and hope. She reveled in it. The combination of the breathing, happy thoughts, and the fact that Simon had stopped soaring higher and started to fly level and at a steady pace, made the sensation of flying more passible, if not pleasant. She still didn’t enjoy it, but she found that as long as she didn’t look straight down, she could look around without her anxiety getting the better of her. 

It didn’t take long for them to catch up to the others. Seteth, with Felix as his passenger, was at the head of the group with Rodrigue, flying with Gilbert, not far behind. Byleth felt better knowing Felix and Rodrigue were both in a state similar to hers. While neither of them was as scared of flying as she was, she knew both Fraldarius men were more comfortable on the ground - Felix barely even tolerated being on horseback most of the time. To her right, Byleth saw that Lysithea, hanging on to Hilda, looked much more comfortable in the air than Byleth felt. Byleth turned her head and watched Caspar flying with Mercedes riding along. Mercedes could have been sitting in the courtyard at Garreg Mach drinking tea judging by the peaceful look on her face. As a professor, Byleth had made sure that all of her students were well versed in both riding and flying and she was thankful that she had. Even though she had joked to the contrary, she knew that Sylvain was more than capable as a flier. She knew that somewhere behind her, Sylvain and Dimitri were safe. Ingrid was the only one of their group that Byleth could not see. Since Ingrid was faster on a pegasus than anyone else on a wyvern, she sped ahead and veered east to Ordelia to take a message to Judith, letting her know about their army’s plans at Myrddin.

Byleth had no idea how long they had been flying or where they were, but the sun was high in the sky above them, so she figured it was around noon, which meant they must be close. Not long after that, she noticed that Seteth’s wyvern was starting to descend. She steeled herself and looked down at the ground. In the distance, just beyond the foothills of the mountains, the city of Myrddin was visible, and on the outskirts of the city, the fortress of the Great Bridge of Myrddin rose above the expanse of the Airmid river. 

Just as Byleth spotted it, Leonie leaned back against her and shouted. “There it is. Hold on tight, we’re going to start to descend!”

Byleth held on to her best friend even tighter and realized that even though she had found a way to mitigate her fear while they were up in the air, nothing was going to stop the feeling of her stomach jumping into her throat as they started to lose altitude. She was going to throw up.

“Leonie! I’m so sorry in advance if I throw up on you!” Byleth shouted as she buried her head into Leonie’s shoulder again. 

She felt Leonie shake her head. “Just breathe By; you’ll be ok...and if you do throw up on me, it’s ok; I have a change of clothes.”

They landed in a clearing by the side of the road that ran between the city proper and the bridge that bore its name. Byleth clapped her hand over her mouth and struggled to hold in the contents of her stomach. Leonie dismounted and ran for Dimitri, telling her to stay put. Dimitri carefully helped Byleth off of the wyvern. She staggered on her feet and stumbled over to a nearby bush and threw up. Dimitri fell to his knees beside her and rubbed her back. She wondered if it was sweet, embarrassing, or annoying. She decided it was sweet. Once her nausea subsided, she was so drained that she didn’t even fight him when he insisted on carrying her into the city where the rest of the group had gone.

They were sitting on benches in a courtyard in front of an inn that was not far from the entrance to the city. Seteth and Rodrigue had gone inside to procure them rooms for the night and Gilbert was speaking to a man at a nearby saddle shop to find out if there was somewhere where they could board their wyverns while they were in town. Dimitri set Byleth down on her feet and since she was still unsteady, she quickly dropped down on a bench next to Mercedes. Mercedes narrowed her eyes at her and immediately put one hand on the back of Byleth’s head and the other on her stomach. She felt the healing magic course through her and sighed in relief as the nausea subsided and her energy started to return.

“You’re supposed to save the bridal carry for the wedding night, Your Majesty. And it’s supposed to be only over the threshold.” Sylvain nudged Dimitri with his elbow and laughed as Dimitri watched Mercedes perform the spell with an odd look on his face. “You aren’t supposed to carry your bride around all throughout your wedding day.”

“What?” Hilda stood up from where she was sitting and rushed over to them, looking at Dimitri. “Bride?” He blushed and she looked at Byleth. “Wedding day?!” Byleth held up her left hand and showed it to Hilda. She squealed, sat down on Byleth’s other side, and pulled her away from Mercedes and into a hug. “You got married today? That’s so exciting! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought you guys were married already.” Caspar said from the neighboring bench. 

“Why weren’t we invited to the ceremony?” Lysithea had come over and was standing next to Dimitri with her arms crossed. “Are you going to have a reception?”

Byleth looked up at Dimitri, who shrugged, before turning back to Lysithea. “I hadn’t really thought about a reception, so probably not.” Hilda gasped. “And we only had our four required witnesses there, Lysithea. Nobody else was invited to the ceremony.” Lysithea frowned as Hilda stood up, with her hands on her hips. 

“I’m sorry, but this is unacceptable.” Hilda shook her head and looked at Dimitri. “You are the King of Faerghus, and you married the Archbishop! You can’t just have a tiny ceremony and no reception! You know better than anyone what a royal wedding is supposed to be like.”

“I am aware of what a royal wedding usually entails.” Dimitri sat down next to Byleth. “Such pageantry was simply not possible.” 

“Besides, everybody thought they were married already thanks to the announcement.” Leonie said. “There’s no reason to make a big production and have a giant wedding in the middle of a war.”

“Easy for you to say.” Hilda huffed at Leonie. “I’m sure you were one of the four people there. I do see your point about not having a big party during the war though.” She turned back to Byleth. “Maybe you can have the reception once the war is over? I can help you plan it! You wouldn’t have to do a thing! Can I, please?”” 

Byleth slumped over and leaned on Dimitri’s shoulder with a groan. “No more questions right now. I still don’t feel good. We can talk about it later, Hilda. I promise.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” 

Byleth nodded and closed her eyes. She felt Dimitri bush her bangs back from her face; followed by his breath and his lips as he kissed her softly on the head. The corner of her mouth quirked up in a smile. She heard Hilda and Lysithea make cooing sounds and Sylvain let out a whistle.

“Everybody, leave them alone.” Leonie said and the rest of the group fell into laughter and conversation as Dimitri whispered to Byleth.

“I am sorry you are not feeling well, Beloved.” He said as she felt him grin against her head. “Perhaps you should have stayed behind, as I suggested.” 

The spell Mercedes did had brought her energy back, but she still felt nauseated and the babies were also being incredibly active, adding to her sense of discomfort, so she was not in the mood to argue. She made a feeble groaning noise instead, wrapped her arms loosely around his middle, and shushed him. "Be nice to me, your children are kicking me."

He huffed out a chuckle. "That is rather unkind of them." He removed his gauntlet and put his hand on her stomach. "I cannot feel anything. Are they moving now?" She nodded. "Does it hurt?"

"No, it just feels strange." She put her hand over his. “Manuela said I will probably be the only one who can feel them for a few more weeks.” Dimitri hummed in response but did not remove his hand and she let herself curl into him further. Byleth noticed that everyone was heeding Leonie’s order and giving them space, sitting at the other benches and tables, eating, and talking. She appreciated the quiet time with Dimitri as she sat and soaked up the sun’s rays and relaxed, using him as a pillow. She’d have to remember to thank Leonie later.

She was about to fall asleep when she felt a shadow fall over them and looked up to see Felix. “We just got rooms if you want to take a nap.”

“I wasn’t sleeping.” She said. 

“Yeah, sure. Listen, after everyone finishes eating, the fliers are going to go take their wyverns to the town’s holding pens and everyone else can take their bags and stuff inside, or whatever. Seteth and I are going to take a quick fly over to the other side of the river and see if we can spot the imperial troops heading south before we try to go in there. Gloucester’s letter said they usually leave after lunch. In the meantime, it’s almost two o’clock; you should eat something. Both of you.”

Byleth shook her head. “I’m not hungry.” 

“I will be fine as well.”

Felix grunted. “Do you have any idea how aggravating it is being bound to protect you two idiots? You’re both stubborn and pigheaded and the bane of my existence. You better hope those kids aren’t anywhere near as annoying as you are.” Byleth or Dimitri looked at each other but said nothing in response. Felix threw his hands up in the air. “Fine, don’t eat. I don’t care. Just don’t blame me when one of you passes out later.”

Felix and Seteth left and Byleth started to feel better even though she and Dimirti were at the center of quite a bit more teasing when Rodrigue came out of the inn and started handing out keys to the rooms and Sylvain jokingly asked if there was a honeymoon suite for Byleth and Dimitri.

“That’s another thing you’ll probably want to re-do when the war is over.” Hilda said. “A one-day honeymoon in Myrddin of all places? You should go to Derdriu! There’s so much to do there.”

“The Rhodos coast is nice too.” Mercedes said. “Shamir says Dagda is lovely as well.”

“You could always take that trip to Brigid you were talking about.” Leonie suggested.

“Bernie is supposed to go with her on the Brigid trip.” Lysithea said. “Besides, His Majesty would never survive the heat there.”

“If you wait until after the war, you can always go to Hevring!” Caspar said. “It’s beautiful there. I always liked spending time at Lin’s house more than I did at mine. The beaches are the best anywhere and it isn’t as hot as Brigid.”

“Why would you want to honeymoon at the beach?” Sylvain asked. “Come up to Gautier in the middle of winter. It will be freezing cold and covered in snow. You’ll never want to leave your room. Now that’s a honeymoon!” He winked at them.

“Honeymoon?” Rodrigue broke in, looking at Dimitri and Byleth and raising an eyebrow as he looked them over, as if just realizing that they were sitting far closer together than he had ever seen them. “Is everyone just teasing you, or is there something you would like to tell me?”

Byleth raised her left hand again and showed Rodrigue her ring and his face broke into a large smile. Evidently, until that moment, neither Rodrigue nor Gilbert had known that the wedding had taken place.

Rodrigue was elated and hugged them both then said he had to go back inside to see the innkeeper because he had gotten them separate rooms, and jokes about honeymooning aside, they should room together from now on. Gilbert, to his credit, did not attempt to hug them. Rather he knelt before them, much like he had that day in the audience hall before Byleth, and offered his congratulations. She nodded and accepted his congratulations gracefully but didn't say anything else to him. As happy as she was about being married to Dimitri, she still wasn’t entirely ready to forgive the man who forced them into it so quickly. 

A short while later, Seteth and Felix returned with the news that Count Gloucester appeared to have been telling the truth. Felix reported seeing a group of troops heading south from the bridge into Adrestia. 

“Well, let’s go.” Byleth started to stand up but Dimitri stopped her.

“Wait.” He stood up and addressed Felix. “Just because some troops are heading south does not guarantee that there are not still hostile enemy troops inside. We could still be walking into a trap.” He looked back at Byleth. “We should follow the original plan and you should wait out here while we go and make sure it is safe.” 

She hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “Of course.” Her instinct had been to argue her position, but their instincts so often got them into arguments, and she didn’t want that. She’d thought about what he was saying, and why he was saying it, and determined that he had a point. They did not know Count Gloucester well and it would be best to be cautious. 

“I've been thinking…” Lysithea said. “I’ve known Lorenz for almost my entire life and my parents always got along with his parents very well. I think I should go in with the group that’s sussing him out.”

“That’s not a bad idea!” Hilda said. “He likes you and your family a lot more than he likes me and mine.”

“Then who will wait out here with Mercedes and the professor?” Caspar asked.

“I’ll stay out here.” Felix offered. “We don’t need two representatives from Fraldarius in there. It's my job to protect Byleth anyway.” 

Dimitri frowned. “You do not know how to warp her out of the way if there is danger.”

Felix groaned. “I’ll protect her, I promise. If it comes down to it, I’ll pick her up and run, but I doubt that will happen. Hurry up and go.”

"Do you mind if we walk you to the edge of town?" Byleth asked Dimitri. "I feel like I’ve been sitting too long, and I'd like to walk around a bit."

"Good idea, walking will do you some good." Mercedes said before looking at Dimitri. "And that way we'll be closer for when you come out to let us know we can go in."

Dimitri reluctantly agreed and offered Byleth his hand to help her stand up and she held onto it tightly as they all walked to the edge of the city. She stood next to Mercedes and Felix once they parted and she watched them walk down the road toward the bridge. She held her breath as she watched the group stand at the fortress gate and speak to the gatekeeper. She finally exhaled as they walked in and disappeared into the fortress. 

Mercedes placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m happy to see your energy is back. You need it with the babies kicking the life out of you.” 

Byleth smiled and patted her stomach three times and felt a movement in response. “They really are active today. I also have a bit of a headache.”

“That’s because you’re hungry and your braids are too tight. You stay here with Felix.” Mercedes said. “We passed a restaurant not far back. I’ll see if I can find you something to eat and you can take out those braids while I’m gone.”

“I told you that you needed to eat.” Felix grumbled.

“You don’t have to do that, Mercedes.” Byleth attempted to protest, but the truth was it was a weak protest at best. She really was hungry. 

“Nonsense. It would be my pleasure.”

Mercedes was gone for only a few minutes when Byleth noticed that Felix was squinting off in the distance. 

“What are you looking at?” Byleth asked as she ran her fingers through her hair and enjoyed feeling the tightness in her scalp disappear. 

“I think I see a wyvern heading in our direction.” Byleth couldn’t see anything and decided to take his word for it since, even with her glasses on, Felix could still see better than she could. Leave it to Sothis to change her hair and eye color upon merging and not fix her eyesight. 

_“Excuse me? I have saved your life three times now, by my count! And I probably saved your marriage just this morning too. Yet here you are, complaining about your vision being a little blurry. So ungrateful.”_ Sothis huffed. _“Your little ones’ eyes are starting to work now and if I’m not mistaken, their vision will be perfect, thanks to me. I’ve been working extremely hard with them. Perhaps I should convince them to kick you harder.”_

Byleth apologized to Sothis in her head and looked at Felix. “Are you sure, it’s a wyvern?”

Felix drew his sword and pointed to what looked like a speck in the sky to Byleth; a speck that was steadily getting bigger. “Definitely a wyvern. I can’t tell if it’s one of ours yet. I hope it is, but I can’t think of why someone else would be coming this far behind us, unless Cyril decided to come after all.” He squinted again and they watched as the shape got bigger as it came closer. Byleth watched Felix’s eyes widen and his mouth dropped open. “Oh, shit.”

“What? What shit?” She could see the wyvern clearly now, but could not make out who the rider was, only that it was someone exceptionally large. “Is it not Cyril?”

“Either I’m going as crazy as your husband is and seeing dead people, or…” He shook his head and blinked a few times as the wyvern descended and approached the clearing where they had all landed earlier. Byleth tried to see who it was and couldn’t. She smacked Felix in the arm.

“Who is it? Who do you think it is? Tell me!”

Felix turned to look at her, his head shaking. “Dedue...I think it’s Dedue.”

“What?” Byleth squinted as the rider dismounted. “How could it be Dedue?” She did not understand how he could be there, but as soon as she saw him start to walk toward the city wall where she and Felix were standing, she started to become convinced. Byleth could not see his features clearly yet, but she had spent enough time with him to know his gait and recognize his movements. As he came closer, Byleth could see that although his hair was a bit different, and he had put on a lot more muscle and added some new scars on his face, the man walking toward them was unmistakably Dedue. He was alive. 

Byleth started to rush forward to greet him and Felix stopped her. “Wait. Remember Tomas and Monica? The imposter they executed who looked just like Dimitri? They were all working for Edelgard. How can we be sure this is the real Dedue?”

Byleth frowned but did not move to try to meet him again. Instead, they waited until he reached them, and he bowed. Felix stepped between Byleth and Dedue and raised his sword.

“What were the last words I said to you before we left to try to find Dimitri that night at Baron Dominic’s house?”

Dedue looked down at Felix and blinked. “You said,” I know you don’t like me very much. I don’t like you very much either, but you have to trust me. We will find him.”

Felix sheathed his sword. “So, it is you. Why are you in Myrddin? How are you anywhere? We thought you were dead. Where have you been all this time?”

“Dimitri said you had died during his escape from prison.” Byleth said.

“I almost did.” Dedue sighed. “I remained behind to give the others time to get him out of the castle grounds. I was injured in the fight, but I managed to escape. Once I got over the castle wall, I was too weak to get back to Baron Dominic’s house or to my friends’ safehouse. I found a place to hide in the woods behind the castle and sat down to rest and heal. I believe I fainted. When I awoke, I walked into town and heard the news that the prince had been executed that day. I stopped a man to ask him if it was true. He was weeping and told me he had seen the execution with his own eyes.” He looked down at his feet. “I thought I had failed. I could not bear to face anyone in my grief. It was wrong of me, but I am ashamed to say that I fled back to Duscar and I have been there ever since, until now.”

“It wasn’t him that was executed. It was an imposter who looked like him.” Felix said. “Dimitri is alive.”

“I know that now.” He pulled a folded piece of paper from his coat pocket. “I saw this notice last week, saying that he had returned and had been named King…” He looked at Byleth and a smile graced his normally stoic face. “...and that he had married and was to be a father, when I saw your name on the announcement as Archbishop and knew his wife must be you...so I settled my affairs in Duscar and returned at once. I arrived at Garreg Mach just this morning and was told you were here. So, I came here as well.”

“I’m so happy to see you!” Byleth walked up to him and leaned into his side. He put an arm around her and squeezed. 

“I am happy to see you as well. His Majesty was so grieved when he thought he had lost you; I will admit that I was as well.” Dedue bent into a deep bow then looked back up at her. “I want you to know I intend on protecting you and your children with my life, Your Majesty.”

“Thank you, Dedue, but you really don’t have to call me that.” She blinked. She was just starting to get used to the deference that people afforded her since becoming the head of the church. She knew that marrying Dimitri meant that she was technically also Queen of Faerghus. Sylvain had even called her Your Majesty earlier, but he had said it jokingly. Hearing Dedue say it with such reverence brought her queasiness back. She wondered if Mercedes was on her way back with food yet. “I would rather you call me by my name, if possible. I don’t really feel like a queen.”

“His Majesty was named King, was he not?”

Byleth nodded. "Technically, yes. But he has not been crowned or recognized as such by at least half of Faerghus."

“You are married to him, are you not?”

“I am, but the announcement was wrong. We only got married just this morning, so I haven’t been crowned either.”

"That does not matter. He is my king, and you are his queen. I will address you with the respect your position demands.”

“I’m also acting Archbishop. You could call me “Your Grace” instead? You could even call me Professor, for old times’ sake.”

He shook his head. "I knew years ago how much His Majesty cared about you. I hoped you would be his queen one day. It brings me great pleasure to refer to you as such."

Byleth sighed. 

“You aren’t going to win this argument, Eisner.” Felix smirked. “Or I guess it’s Blaiddyd now, gross.” She glared at him. 

"May I ask..." Dedue looked around. "Why are the two of you out here alone? I was told a large group travelled here. Where is His Majesty? I am anxious to see him again."

Byleth was in the middle of explaining where the others were when she realized that Dedue had stopped paying attention and was looking behind her toward the city. She turned around in time to see Mercedes break into a run. As she reached them, she handed Byleth a small sack just before flying at Dedue and throwing her arms around him. He embraced her and her feet lifted off the ground. 

“Dedue!”

“Mercedes…” He whispered and set her down. Mercedes and Dedue stared at each other for a moment, Mercedes reaching up to caress his cheek. Byleth glanced at Felix who shrugged and looked just as perplexed as she felt. Then, without saying another word, Mercedes stood up on her toes and kissed him. To Byleth’s surprise, Dedue did not appear to be surprised because he was kissing her back. 

Byleth turned around to give them privacy and leaned over to talk to Felix. “Did you know they were a thing?”

“No.” Felix had turned his back to them as well, shaking his head in disgust. “I swear everyone in this army is so fucking soft. You’d think we were a bunch of giggling courtiers at a presentation ball instead of an army in the middle of a war.”

“You’re pretty soft for Bernie, so that assessment includes you.” Byleth grinned. “And all of you nobles are technically courtiers, aren’t you?”

Felix grimaced. “Technically, yes.” His grimace turned into a sly grin. “Hey, you can’t say “you nobles” anymore, by the way. You are one, Your Majesty.”

“Have I mentioned how much I hate you?”

“Not today.”

Byleth laughed. She opened the sack Mercedes had brought her and unwrapped a sandwich. As she ate, she was filled with a sense of contentment. She and Dimitri were married. Dedue was alive and he was back. Mercedes was happier than she had seen her since her return. She had a delicious sandwich. It was turning out to be a wonderful day.

***

Not long after they entered through the gate and began their journey over the bridge, Dimitri noticed the mist hovering over the surface of the water surrounding it and felt a boon from the cooler temperature it caused. It seemed like spring had come early and the weather was already turning warmer than he would like. He filled his lungs with the cool air and thought about how only a month ago they were burning up in Ailell. So far, this was a much more pleasant mission. 

Dimitri eyed the Varley Gate on the opposite side from the Gloucester Gate where they had entered. He was filled with memories of the last time he crossed the bridge and went through the Varley Gate, with many of the same people who were with him now. Five years ago, they crossed over this same bridge as students heading to a mock battle. They fought the Battle of the Eagle and Lion and celebrated together afterwards, regardless of which class they were in. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. Whether they struck a bargain with Count Gloucester or took control of the bridge by force, Dimitri knew that the day was nearing when he would cross this bridge once more and set foot in Adrestia again. There he would put an end to this war. Perhaps it was a side effect of it being his wedding day, but for the first time, he thought of having a celebration after the war was over, instead of dying on the battlefield. He hated large parties, but if it meant he got to spend a long life with Byleth at his side, he would endure the most extravagant bash that Hilda could come up with. 

Their group reached the center of the fortress where the officer’s quarters were. The Gloucester soldier who led them walked up to a door and knocked on it. A tall, thin, and familiar-looking man opened it. 

“Good afternoon.” Lorenz said, nodding in greeting. 

“I see the Archbishop travels with quite a large entourage.” Count Gloucester said from behind his desk as he looked toward the group assembled at his door.

Lorenz scanned the group. His eyes landed on Dimitri and he raised an eyebrow at him. “Perhaps not, father. The Archbishop does not appear to be among them. Although the...king...is here.”

“I am not supposed to be meeting with the self-styled and self-appointed king.” The Count said, in a whisper that was obviously still meant to be heard before raising his voice. “My appointment was with the Archbishop, one Byleth Eisner. She is the one who wrote to me, asking for my ear, and yet she is not present. What trickery is this?”

“There is no trickery here, Edgar.” Rodrigue stepped forward and bowed. “If you will allow us but a moment, we can explain.”

“Lord Rodrigue, it has been such a long time. You are a long way from Fraldarius.” Edgar smiled, innocently. “How have you been?”

Dimitri had known Rodrigue long enough to know that he was seething, although he was doing a much better job of not showing it than his son ever could. “I am sure you would know better than most how I have been; the empire seems to have eyes and ears everywhere. Surely, you’ve received intelligence about what is happening in Faerghus.”

“Indeed, they do have eyes and ears everywhere, and indeed I have heard about what is happening in your dear frigid homeland. A dreadful business, being conquered.” 

“The same could very well happen here in Leicester. You may think you are in her good graces now, but that could change at any time. We have eyes and ears too, and ours tell us she is rather unstable these days. I am sure you already know that or else you would have never agreed to this meeting.” Rodrigue put his hand on his hip where his sword would be if they had not agreed to come unarmed. “Now are you going to let us in, or shall we continue to speak from here?”

Edgar frowned. “Very well. Let them in, Lorenz...but not all of them. My office is not anywhere near large enough to hold the entire rabble.” 

Lorenz nodded at his father and then turned back to them, pursing his lips as if trying to hold back a smile. “You heard him; I’d say five of you at the most will fit comfortably. The rest can wait out here.”

Dimitri, Rodrigue, Seteth, Hilda, and Lysithea went inside leaving Gilbert, Caspar, Leonie, and Sylvain outside the door that Lorenz closed again before standing behind the desk, next to his father’s chair. 

“Well…” Edgar said, leaning back in his seat as they situated themselves. “Lady Goneril. I did not expect to see you here today, but I cannot say I was surprised to hear that you had taken up with this lot of rebels.”

“I have.” Hilda held her shoulders back in defiance. “As should you.”

“That remains to be seen.” He turned his steely lavender gaze toward Lysithea. “Lady Ordelia...It pleases me to see that you are well, however, I must say I was surprised to read your name among the supporters of the so-called resistance army. Do your parents know where you are and what you are doing?”

“They do, sir.” Lysithea said. “And I have their full support.”

Edgar huffed in response and nodded to Seteth before finally turning to look at Dimitri. “So, you’re still alive, eh? It’s curious that you waited so long to let anyone know you had survived but having done so - you caused quite a stir with that little announcement of yours.”

"I suppose I did."

"I suppose that was your intention. You've got the Empress in a right state over the news. I can’t imagine the last time she was caught by surprise by anything, much less something like this. I hear you've been picking up support with some of the noble houses in Faerghus since then too. Destabilizing the enemy and shoring up support, all with one piece of paper and not a drop of blood spilled. I’m surprised. Leaders in Faerghus traditionally use nothing but brute force to try to get things accomplished. Well done to you for listening to whoever suggested you try strategy and diplomacy for once.”

Dimitri clenched his jaw. “Thank you.”

Edgar motioned at Hilda and Lysithea. “I’m sure you have no shortage of advisors, what with the support of the heirs to most of the noble houses of Leicester and surprisingly, the majority of the heirs to noble houses in Adrestia are behind you as well. Not to mention the Archbishop.”

"You are very well informed."

"Well, I got most of that from your own announcement. But yes. I do like to think that I keep myself well informed. However, it seems that with all my knowledge, there’s one key thing I don't know." He folded his hands together on his desk and leaned forward. "Why am I speaking to you, when I agreed to meet with the Archbishop?" He looked to Seteth. "You’re her second in command, is she ill?"

"No, sir." Seteth answered. "She is quite well."

"Then, where is she?"

"If I may, Count Gloucester…" Dimitri worked to keep his hands from forming fists. "She is just outside, in the city, and she still wants to meet with you. I am here because I wanted to make sure I was not sending my wife into a trap. She is awaiting word from me letting her know the situation is safe."

"The Archbishop is your wife?" Lorenz asked. Dimitri nodded. "I wondered if that's who your mysterious unnamed bride was. I would have been sure it was the professor if her name hadn't been listed as a supporter at the bottom of the announcement." He smiled. "And she's pregnant. How wonderful!"

"Lorenz, hold your tongue." Edgar growled. "This is no social call over tea." He banged a fist on his desk. "This is an outrage! I personally guaranteed her safety in the letter I sent, and now I am being told my word isn't good enough?"

"It isn't that Edgar." Rodrigue said. "Be reasonable. You can’t deny that a promise of safety from someone working with your enemy should not be taken at face value. We had to be sure."

“I am Count Edgar Caius Gloucester! I will be leading the alliance when this war is over! I will not be treated with such blatant disrespect.” He stood up. "My word has always been enough for the Empress. You seek to change my allegiance and can't even afford me the same trust that she does?"

"She does not trust you." Dimitri said, his voice slipping into a growl before he could stop himself. His heart rate increased as he remembered conversations he had with Edelgard before her treachery was revealed. "She does not trust anyone. She told me so herself many years ago."

"Be that as it may, at least she holds up the pretense. To have my honor questioned like this, to my face, in my own office, no less." He shook his head. "No, I cannot abide that. The meeting is off."

"Count Gloucester-" Seteth started.

"I said the meeting is off."

"Edgar…" Rodrigue stepped closer to the desk. "We have come here unarmed per your request, but do not be a fool. If you turn us out, we will return with reinforcements. If you will not negotiate and join the right side now, we will take the bridge by force."

"Do your worst."

"Father, I think we should…"

"For the last time, hold your tongue, Lorenz!" Edgar looked back at Dimitri. "Bring on the fight, if you dare, _your majesty._ "

"I hoped it would not come to that." Rodrigue said. "But if a battle is what you want, a battle you shall have. Let's go." 

They filed out the door in silence and walked back to the Gloucester Gate. He turned to Rodrigue once they reached it.

“Idiots. Embracing death for the sake of that woman.” He shook his head. “Truly foolish.”

“What troubles you?” Rodrigue asked. “You knew there was a possibility he would react this way.”

“I... I do not know.”

“Because you would regret killing them?”

“They are leaving us no choice but to kill them, and so we shall. That...that is all there is to it.” Except it was not all there was to it. Almost all of his former classmates had joined his side. Everyone he had faced so far had been a faceless Imperial soldier, and it made ending their lives easier. He was more than prepared to kill Edelgard and Hubert after all they had done, but Lorenz? Dimitri’s stomach turned at the thought. He heard footsteps running behind them as they exited the fortress and he braced for an attack. They had been fools to come in unarmed. 

"Wait!" He heard a voice call out to them and turned to see Lorenz, red-faced and winded, running through the still open gate to catch up to them.

"Your Highness...your Majesty, please wait." Dimitri stopped, but directed the others to continue on, with only Rodrigue remaining with him.

"What is it, Lorenz? I believe your father was perfectly clear. It was a farce, all of it. He wants a fight."

"No. He's wrong. My father was wrong to join the Empire's side in the first place and he's wrong to call off this meeting now. I know it and he knows it, but he will never admit that in front of you because he thinks you insulted his honor. I’m not prepared to die for his pride. Let me talk to him.” He motioned to the city behind Dimitri. “You said you are staying in Myrddin?"

"Yes."

"At the Ruby Rose Inn, I assume?" 

Dimitri looked to Rodrigue, who nodded. "We are."

"Good. I know it well. There is a restaurant just next door. Give me one hour to change his mind and get him there to meet with the professor...sorry, the Archbishop." 

Dimitri hesitated. “Why would you do that?”

Lorenz sighed. "Because it is the right thing to do. I know you have little reason to trust me. We were never remarkably close during our academy year, but remember that I fought beside you all at the battle of Garreg Mach. I never wanted to join Edelgard's cause. I was simply following my father’s orders. I had no choice but to follow the empire if I wished to live. I hope you will not think ill of me for doing so."

"Would you go against your father if it came to that?" Rodrigue asked. “If he refused to see reason?”

"I would. My father joined the empire’s side and is loyal to the empress because he is hungry for power and she promised it to him. After five years of war, all I hunger for is peace." He looked at Dimitri. "You have a wife and children on the way. I too, have a wife, and a son of my own who I have not seen in almost a year. I want this war to end so I can go home. We have fought for the empire all this time because we thought we had no choice, but you are now giving us another choice. Please, give me time to talk to him. I know I can convince him to do the right thing...but if I cannot...I will join you and help you take the bridge."

They agreed to give him the hour.

***

When she saw the group was heading back in their direction, Byleth was confused at first. She had expected them to be in the fortress for much longer, or to send out one person to give her the signal that things were safe enough for her to enter. She did not expect to see everyone come walking down the road so soon. Byleth ran to meet them, reached Sylvain first, and asked him what happened. 

He shrugged. “I wasn’t in the room, but it didn’t go well from what I gathered. I assumed we were going to have to fight but Dimitri stayed behind to talk to Lorenz, so maybe not.” He beckoned Lysithea over. “What actually happened in there?”

“Count Gloucester was insulted that we didn’t trust his word that Byleth would be safe going in there and he kicked us out. He basically dared us to attack the bridge.” She looked back at the fortress. “I think Lorenz may be trying to talk His Majesty out of it.”

Byleth squinted back at the bridge and saw Dimitri and Rodrigue talking to someone. She assumed it was Lorenz. “Well, you all get back to the inn. We’ll regroup and figure out our next course of action. Leonie, be ready to fly in case we need to get a message to Ingrid and Judith and let them know we are fighting.”

“I’m always ready.”

“Hey, who is that standing with Felix and Mercedes?” Caspar asked as he walked up to them. Byleth was amused to see that Hilda was riding on his back. 

“Oh that…'' Byleth looked back at where Dedue waited with the others. “We have a big surprise waiting over there everyone.” She turned to Lysithea. “Actually, can you warp me over to Dimitri? I think I need to prepare him for the surprise a little.” She nodded and Byleth held still as she raised her hands. 

Byleth saw a bright white light surrounding her and then felt a pulling sensation, not unlike when she used divine pulse, then found herself standing in front of Dimitri and Rodrigue a second later. “Wow. Travelling by warp is so weird.”

“Beloved, why did you warp over here?” Dimitri asked. “We would have reached you in a few moments.”

“I have to tell you something...”

“I have something to tell you as well.” He looked back at the bridge. “Count Gloucester called off the meeting and challenged us to fight for the bridge. You were right, we should have just let you go in from the beginning. I apologize for doubting you.”

“Forgiven. Listen…”

“There is more. Lorenz has asked us to postpone our attack. He wants to try to convince his father to meet with us after all.” He started walking again. “He asked us to meet him in the restaurant next door to the inn an hour from now. He will either be bringing his father to meet with us or coming alone to join us.”

“Oh...” She held out her hand to stop him as she processed what he had said. “Well, either way we gain at least one ally.” Dimitri nodded and tried to start walking again. She stood in front of him. “Dimitri, there is something I really have to tell you before you reach the others. Please, stop walking.”

He blinked at her. “My apologies. I suppose I am just preoccupied thinking about Gloucester and what he might do. What is so important that you warped over here?”

She bit her lip. There was no easy way to say it. She stepped closer to him and raised her arms to pull him into them. He put his arms around her and looked down at her, his face full of concern. 

“What is it, Byleth?”

“Someone showed up while you were all on the bridge…” His head snapped up and he squinted his eye to try to see what was happening. She moved her hands from around his neck and cupped his face; she turned his gaze back to her. “It’s…” She smiled. “Dimitri...it’s Dedue. He’s alive and he’s here.” He went still in her arms.

“He...wait...who did you say?” He shook his head. “I thought I heard you say...Dedue. That cannot be.”

“It is. Felix questioned him to be sure.” 

“Well, that’s wonderful news!” Rodrigue clapped Dimitri on the back. “Come, let us greet him. I suspect he has come a long way.”

“He has, from Duscar to Garreg Mach to Myrddin.” She took Dimitri’s hand and started to walk. “All to reunite with you.”

“This...it is impossible.” He shook his head. “I was so sure he was...gone.” 

Dimitri was quiet for the rest of the walk back to where the others were all crowded around Dedue. She watched him and although she did not know what he was thinking, she knew she had done the right thing by giving him a little bit of advanced warning to sort out his thoughts before they reunited. As they approached, the small crowd parted and soon Dimitri and Dedue were standing before each other for the first time in five years. Byleth didn’t know what she was expecting them to do, but she had to hold back a snicker as they both just stood and stared at each other awkwardly. She saw Mercedes reach out and push Dedue a step forward. 

Dedue cleared his throat and bowed. “Your Majesty. Apologies for the late arrival.”

“Dedue...you are alive? How? How are you here? You died five years ago.”

“I did not. While you were helped to escape by my brothers, men of Duscar, I fought. I survived, but I thought you were taken. I was told you had been killed. I fled back to Duscar in shame, thinking I had failed you. I did not know you had survived until I read the notice that announced it. I returned to the monastery at once and they told me you were here, so I came.” He bent down on one knee. “Would you allow me to join your forces and be your vassal once more? Allow me to act again as your sword and shield.”

“You do not need to kneel to me.” 

“I do. I am sure my absence caused you much distress that you did not deserve after everything else you had been through. Please, let me join you now, so that I may witness your triumph.”

“Dedue...of course.” Dimitri held his hand out and helped Dedue to his feet again. “In exchange, I ask that you swear two things to me, here and now. The first, that you join me as my friend, not as a vassal.”

Dedue hesitated but nodded. “And the second?”

“Do not ever throw your life away again. Not for me. Understood?”

“Your majesty…”

Dimitri crossed his arms. “This point is non-negotiable.”

“Understood.” Dedue bowed again. Byleth placed her hand on Dimitri’s back and gave him a small shove forward. He took the hint and gathered Dedue into an embrace. Byleth felt her eyes start to water as she watched them. Mercedes came and stood beside her and handed her a handkerchief. 

They all walked to the restaurant next to the inn together. Byleth walked next to Dimitri, holding his left hand and Dedue was on his right side. Dimitri was still quiet, but it was understandable. He had now been reunited with no less than two people he had thought were dead for five years in the span of just a few months. It was enough to shock anyone. 

***

Dimitri continued to be mostly silent all through the early dinner they all had as they waited for Lorenz. An hour after leaving the bridge, almost to the minute, Lorenz and his father walked into the restaurant. Everyone except Byleth, Rodrigue, Hilda, and Lysithea left the table. Dimitri had decided that the meeting would go better if he was not present and Byleth agreed. She sent him to catch up with Dedue while she tried to soothe the Count’s bruised ego. 

Byleth rose from her seat to greet them as they approached the table. Count Gloucester kissed her hand, which was a surprise, but she was shocked when Lorenz pulled her into a hug. 

“I was so pleased to hear that you survived that fall. I don’t know that any of us believed Felix when he said he thought you had, but just this once, I am happy to have been wrong.”

“And here I thought you didn’t like me.” Byleth said. 

“I was never as close to you as some of the others, no.” Lorenz said as they all took their seats around the table. “I will admit there was a part of me that was disappointed and offended that you never tried to recruit me to your class.”

“Not for lack of wanting to. Seteth made me stop after I recruited four students the first week. I hope you can forgive me.”

Lorenz waved his hand. “Water under the bridge.”

“Speaking of bridges…” Hilda said. “Let’s talk about why we’re here.”

“Yes. You’d like me to surrender the bridge.” Count Gloucester said. “It’s a rather large request considering who I’d be surrendering it from.”

“You’re a smart man, Edgar. I’m sure you know how to read a map as well as your fair empress can.” Rodrigue said as he pulled a small map from his side and unrolled it. “If you look at all the areas where His Majesty has gained support, you will see there are really only three Imperial strongholds; Fhirdiad, Gloucester, and Enbarr itself.”

“No doubt she’s been trying to be extra accommodating to you since that announcement went out.” Byleth said. “Gloucester is her front line of this war right now, if you were to side with the resistance, it would be much easier to push the front line all the way to Merceus, trapping her in her little corner of Adrestia.”

“Especially since that would mean soldiers from Leicester could join us in the fight against the empire, instead of fighting among themselves.” Rodrigue pointed out. 

“Merceus.” Edgar scoffed. “How do you intend to ever get past Merceus? It’s impregnable.”

“You let us worry about that.” Byleth said. 

“Count Edgar…” Lysithea began, in a voice far gentler than she usually used. “You agreed to this meeting. Surely you are, at the very least, thinking about joining our side. What is holding you back?”

Edgar said nothing. “I can answer that if he will not.” Lorenz said. “The answer is power. Empress Edelgard has promised him control over the Leicester Dukedom, much as Lady Cornelia holds control in Faerghus.”

“Cornelia holds no real power.” Rodrigue said. “She is nothing but a puppet. We all know who pulls her strings.” He turned to the Count. “If the empress were to achieve her goal and somehow manage to subdue and conquer eastern Faerghus, Cornelia would be gone. There would be no need for her. Do not think for a moment that she would still have need for you if Duke Reigan fell and the rest of the Leicester fell with him. Why would she go through all this trouble to conquer an entire continent, only to leave Gloucester untouched and under anyone’s control but hers? Edgar, you were one of the smartest students in our year at the academy, I know you are smarter than this. You must know what ending she wants. She wants to control it all.”

“But...she promised.” Edgar said, his voice tight. “She gave me her word. If I held the bridge in her name, she would give me control after the conquest…” He stopped speaking and ran his hand over his face and grimaced. “Goddess, saying it aloud...how could I have been so stupid? To go against my own countrymen on nothing but the word of a little girl.”

“She’s no little girl.” Rodrigue said. “I wouldn’t underestimate her after all she has managed to do.”

“Still, I am appalled that I allowed myself to be led so far astray.” He shook his head. “I say I had no choice because she would have invaded and conquered Gloucester on her way to Garreg Mach five years ago if I had not bent the knee to her, but we could have fled, relocated...we could have fought back instead of throwing open the gates and inviting her in.”

Byleth reached across the table and put her hand on Edgar’s shaking ones. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. She had us all fooled once. She fought beside us when she was the Flame Emperor all along.” Byleth frowned. “She comforted me after my father’s death when it was at the hands of people who were working with her, and I played right into their trap because she led me there. She’s obviously practiced in deception and manipulation.”

“She’s a dirty, rotten, liar, and a terrible person; that’s what she is.” Hilda said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “I’ve never trusted her for a second.”

“I don’t think that’s completely true.” Lysithea said. “She’s done questionable things, that’s for certain, but she has also suffered a great deal.”

“How do you know that?” Hilda asked. “Why are you defending her? When did you ever even talk to her?”

“We had tea together a few times at the academy.” Lysithea answered. “It turns out we have a lot in common, but I’m not defending her. I just have to wonder...Lord Rodrigue, you said Cornelia was nothing but a puppet, what if there is someone else pulling Edelgard’s strings as well? When I last spoke to Claude, he seemed to think that was the case.”

“Even if that’s true, we have to deal with her first.” Byleth said. “And it would be easier to do that if you were on our side, Count Gloucester.” 

He sighed. “I have a fresh batch of Imperial soldiers arriving tomorrow afternoon. How am I supposed to hold them off?”

“Well, that depends. Are we negotiating your terms of surrendering the bridge and defecting to the resistance?” Byleth held out her hand. Lorenz looked at his father.

Edgar took a deep breath and then shook her hand. “We are.”

Rodrigue clapped him on the back. “Wonderful! I knew you’d come around!”

“It won’t be easy.” Edgar said. “General Ladislava will be among the troops arriving tomorrow and she is fierce.” Edgar rolled his eyes and looked at Rodrigue. “Lord Acheron will be with her as well.”

“Ugh.” Rodrigue shook his head. “Acheron. He shouldn’t be any trouble. In fact, I’d love to give him a good kick in the teeth.”

“Who wouldn’t.” Lorenz chuckled.

“We have reinforcements waiting in Ordelia.” Byleth said. “And we can leave a few of our people behind and help them help you hold the bridge.”

“Reinforcements in Ordelia?” Edgar’s eyes opened wide. “Who?”

Hilda smiled. “Oh, just the Hero of Daphnel.”

“J-Judith?!” He stammered. “What is she doing in Ordelia?”

“Waiting for our signal.” Rodrigue said. “I told you we were prepared to take the bridge by force if necessary.”

“I suppose you were. I’m impressed you had the foresight to have her there as back-up.” He looked at Lorenz. “Perhaps we are doing the right thing by defecting.”

“I told you that when Hilda’s first letter arrived.”

They decided who would stay behind from their troops to assist in the fight and when they should be ready. Byleth excused herself briefly to go next door to the inn and tell Leonie that she should leave to take the message about the next day’s attack to Ingrid and Judith. She took Felix with her and they departed right away so they could reach Ordelia before it got completely dark. Byleth returned to the restaurant. When she got back the other five at the table were laughing and having tea like old friends. Byleth sat down and noticed that everyone’s tea was rainbow colored. 

“Rainbow-colored tea?” Byleth pointed into her waiting cup. “I’ve only ever seen tea like this once.”

“It is a delicacy unique to this establishment.” Lorenz smiled. “My wife and I stayed at the Ruby Rose for a few months early in our marriage before she went back to live in our home in the capital. We ate almost every meal here. She taught them the spell to make it.”

“Your wife?” Byleth grinned, as she remembered the one occasion she’d had rainbow tea before, down in Abyss. “Oh ho ho... you married Constance!”

“Yes, I certainly did.”

“Constance?!” Hilda choked on her tea then continued through a series of surprised coughs as Lysithea hit her in the back. “You married Constance? Ashen Wolves Constance?” 

“Is it that surprising?” Lorenz asked.

“Of course, it’s surprising!” Hilda said. “I didn’t even know you knew her!”

“You were there when I met her! It was the week we were all preparing for the Battle of Garreg Mach. Remember when Manuela was trying to teach everyone the Bolting spell? Most of us didn’t get the hang of it, except for her, and you!”

“That’s right!” Hilda laughed. “I forgot I even knew how to do that spell.”

“Well, that’s when we met. I lost track of her after the battle and didn’t see her again for months afterward.” He smiled. “Once I did, it was all a bit of a whirlwind courtship.”

“I’ll say.” Edgar grumbled. “She’s a bit moody for my tastes. I had always hoped to betrothe him to you, Lady Lysithea.”

She laughed. “You wouldn’t have had much luck with that, Sir. I don’t plan on ever getting married.”

“Things don’t always go as planned, dear.” Hilda said, winking at Lysithea. “I can think of a certain someone who is intent on wrecking that particular plan of yours.”

Byleth sat and listened to the conversation around her for a while until she saw Dedue walk into the restaurant. He stood at the entrance and beckoned to her. She excused herself and went to speak to him. 

“What is it, Dedue?” She asked. “I thought you and Dimitri were spending some time together.”

“We were.” He sighed. “He seemed...agitated. Uneasy somehow; so, we cut it short. He asked me to let you know he had gone up to bed early and you need not rush to join him if you were still busy.”

Byleth looked out the window. It was just early evening. If Dimitri was going to bed at this hour, of his own volition, something had to be wrong. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll go up and see him right away.” 

She went back to the table. “I apologize, but I really must be going. Dedue was just reminding me that I need to put myself to bed far earlier these days.” She patted her stomach. “These little ones tire me out. I’ll see you all in the morning.”

“Of course.” Count Gloucester stood up and kissed her hand again. “Good night, Your Grace...uh Your Majesty.”

“Goodnight Professor.” Lorenz said, standing up and bowing. 

She nodded to everyone and sped next door and up the stairs to the room they were sharing. So many things had gone right that day, she hoped that whatever it was that was wrong with Dimitri, she would be able to fix it. She fit her key in the lock and tried to open the door. It struck a piece of metal on the floor which stopped it for a moment until she shoved it aside. Once she got it open, she saw that a piece of his armor was what had been against the door; his cloak and the rest of the pieces of his armor were strewn all over the floor. 

She spotted Dimitri and her breath caught; he was also on the floor. He was sitting in the corner of the room, wearing only the lightweight black shirt and pants he wore under his armor, and he had an open notebook like the ones Manuela used in his lap. His hands were fisted in his hair. He looked up at the sound of her entering the room and she saw he was crying. 

“Byleth…” He said, his voice shaking, his chest heaving. “I... I need help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Real Life (tm) is kicking my butt and brain these days. It was almost like my brain said, "you posted two chapters back to back? Time to take a two week vacation!" Anyway, I'm happy to report that the muse is back on track. That's a good thing because the next chapter? It's gonna get rough.
> 
> Leave me your kudos and comments! I drink them up like rainbow-colored tea.


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